I found a lot of the books geared towards mums like What to Expect The First Year and The Toddler Years by the same author/publisher to be a little condescending and where I wanted to know how the brain worked and why my daughter thought like she did, these books answered a little too superficially for my taste, and I also disliked the format. I found myself referring to a textbook I had from college (I started as a nursing major but ultimately went a different route when I discovered I wasn't very good with "customer service"). This book is readable but explains more the physiologic and psychologic changes the child, adolescent, and ultimately adult goes through, and I found it way more helpful than the "mommy" books. Any similar textbook would probably work. I bet they have child development textbooks that would be even better.

I try to live by the "treat others as I would like to be treated" adage and I think the same applies to be successful with children. I don't think being INTJ would be a hinderance to enjoying or relating to children. In fact I think their simple, honest, forthright nature is actually easier for us to understand.

I'd love to sum it up for you, but I'm afraid you'll have to put in the same time we did and try reading Positive Discipline, for example. That's just ONE of the books that we read so we'd have a "toolbox" of ways to handle tough parenting situations. Think of it like a stand up comic having a ready-made toolbox of retorts for various kinds of hecklers, or practicing stress questions before a big job interview.

I don't expect my 3 year old to "remember everything", as you put it. This is a false equivalence, suggesting that the choices are them "remembering everything" or being spanked - this is no different than telling someone they should eat better and them saying "well I'm not going to go around eating lettuce all day" as a retort. But there are some things for which there is zero tolerance around here - one of those is hitting or kicking someone else or the dog. Another is throwing food or intentionally breaking things. In each case, you need to take the time to talk to your child about why things are right and why things are wrong. And for sure, waiting until you're already IN the supermarket checkout line to teach your kid right from wrong is too late - your kid needs to learn things in an easier environment so they're prepared for the supermarket checkout line. And for your part, when your kid is melting down in the cereal aisle b/c you won't buy Cap'n Crunch, it's too late to Google "child tantrum effective methods".

As to your issue with your kid's grandfather, I don't know exactly the kind of roughhousing you're talking about, but for instance, this morning my 3 year old and I played "Tangled", where I was the thief guy and she was Rapunzel. She had me "tied up" with her "hair" (a small blanket) and every time I "woke up" and asked where she hid the crown (a yellow ball), she'd "hit" me with a "frying pan", like in the movie. But I told her to find something soft so that it wouldn't be like real hitting. She looked around and settled on a nylon camera strap. I asked her if she thought that would be soft enough that it would be ok to pretend hit with it. She thought about it and decided (correctly) to find something softer (a small sock). So she got to "bop" me over and over while we played the game - but this doesn't at all give her mixed messages about hitting. If anything, it reinforces it. And we got to talk afterwards about what a good job she did doing gentle playing so that no one felt sad or hurt.

I'm lucky - I married someone with a graduate degree in Early Childhood Development who was way overqualified to be a kindergarten teacher, but perfectly qualified to be a parent (as well as a guide to her otherwise clueless spouse - me - who would otherwise probably yell at the kid and give guilt trips as a discipline technique). Emotional abuse is still abuse, and that's probably what I would have brought to the table if I hadn't educated myself and made my wife give me daily lessons in positive discipline.

Hitting a kid and them stopping the behavior in the sort term tricks you into thinking it worked - like hitting a dog and watching them slink away tricks you into thinking they just learned never to pee in the living room again. If you've ever had a dog, you know that's not how it works. And it sure as hell doesn't work with kids. As you see, you're using an easy solution to buy yourself a few weeks of peace.

Hey, since I admitted you were right, and we're on good terms now.

I started using my own words, and it lead me to agree with you on many issues. Since you enjoy reading, and I enjoy reading, I thought I'd share a good book for you:

https://www.amazon.com/Elements-Critical-Thinking-Fundamental-Intelligent-ebook/dp/B07JWBKNVG/

My Self-Help Book for individuals that feel stuck and would like help moving forward! Thanks for checking it out.

THE NEXT LOGICAL STEP: Learning how to accept change, and move forward $2.99

This book will provide practical advice that you can use in the real world. It was designed to modify your way of thinking, point out the hidden rules in life, that were put in place to restrict you from achieving success. I want to make you aware of the influence that these hidden rules will have indirectly on you. When you are able to view life under a different lens, it will allow you to modify your behavior, personal life choices, career path, and allow you to take control of your future.

https://www.amazon.com/NEXT-LOGICAL-STEP-Learning-forward-ebook/dp/B01HSGVH5A

This is a really great list of suggestions! I would only offer some counter-point to #5.

There are alternative methods of teaching discipline than using punishments and rewards. Consider reading the book, Positive Discipline. Also, focusing on #2 and #7 to eliminate much of the need for punishment will make your job more satisfying.

Ultimately, being a good primary school educator is more about building relationships and exemplifying the character you ask from your students. If it's hard for you to always face down challenges, show infinite compassion, never lie, never act out in frustration, always finish perfectly, and embody impeccable discipline... just imagine how hard it is for 6-12 year olds.

My fiancé picked up The End of Old Age the new book from @MarcAgronin of @MIAJewishHealth. She’s a doctor of geriatric occupational therapy and swears that book is the best she’s read. Marc is brilliant. Very cool that the show is calling attention to this great institution.

This is important. It should also be noted that Japan is an interesting case study in the belief vs. practice aspect of religious expression.

While Japanese people may identify as non-religious in belief, they still participate in certain rites that most would classify as imbued with a certain religious power (concern, to borrow from Paul Tillich).

John Traphagan's The Practice of Concern is a pretty involved study of this dichotomy in Japan.

Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:


amazon.co.uk

amazon.ca

amazon.com.au

amazon.in

amazon.com.mx

amazon.de

amazon.it

amazon.es

amazon.com.br

amazon.nl

amazon.co.jp

amazon.fr

Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, amazon.de, amazon.it, amazon.es, amazon.com.br, amazon.nl, amazon.co.jp, amazon.fr, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.

there is no evolutionary advantage to being short lived. You're right, It's not impossible in nature, and yet we are not. But that it holds a competitive advantage is not the only possible reason. Infact it is seriously outdated.
You're forgetting, natural selection doesn't work on a species, it works on individuals.

Imagine a non-aging species:

According to you, the species reproduces until they hit the maximum number of individuals the environment can support. When this happens, ageing becomes evolutionarily advantageous, because it allows the younger members of the species to surpass their elders, and the species moves forward.

The problem is, how would ageing become advantageous? one individual would be born with an ageing gene, and would have a few offspring before dying. But these offspring would never be able to compete with their non-aging brethren. The ageing organisms would have a limited time to reproduce, whereas the non ageing organisms would reproduce until they met their end to environmental factors. They would be able to reproduce for longer, and they would therefore have more children. These children would also be less likely to die from the lack of resources than the mortal children, as the mortal children would begin to deteriorate soon after puberty ended.

The ageing variant would have fewer opportunities to pass on it's mutation than the immortal variant, and it would therefore be removed by natural selection.

Now you might say that we started off mortal, and the immortal ones were removed by natural selection, so lets trun through that scenario, just to be sure.
Take a mortal species at it's environmental limit. Hell, let's even say that they are only able to have a child when someone else dies, as you suggested. Now imagine an immortal mutation happens. This individual would have children at the same rate as his peers. But, so long as he wasn't unlucky, he wouldn't die as soon as they would. They would get old, maybe even infertile, and pass away. Eventually this immortal bloke would be done in by some sort of accident, but he would have produced more offspring than his peers, and his offspring would do the same. They would eventually take over the gene pool.

No, the good of the species isn't the reason we age.

The reason we are thought to age is because of the lessening effects of natural selection over time.


Take the immortal (non ageing) species from before. An individual has a good chance of living ten years without being killed by a natural disaster, infection, bullet to the head, etc. After twenty years, they might have had a few close calls but it would still be unlikely for them to be killed.
Let's say the average non ageing organism is killed after living 60 years. By that point, about half of them ran out of luck avoiding danger, while the other half have managed to stay in a safe environment.
80 year olds would be rare indeed, as one must be incredibly careful, incredibly lucky, or both, to live 80 years without coming into contact with anything lethal.

This means that if a mutation occurred that only took effect after you reached 80, or a hundred years of age, only a very few would live long enough to be affected by it. It could be easily passed on and spread throughout the gene pool.

And remember, the vast majority of mutations are harmful.
The species would easily build up a plethora of harmful genes that take effect after 80 years or so. Natural selection would not be able to remove them as fast as they appeared, because the chances of living to be 80, given the dangerous nature of the environment on earth, is slim.

Imagine now, that this species discovers medicine, learns about the importance of hygiene, and generally removes much of the dangers of the natural world. All of a sudden, living to 60 becomes entirely normal, living to be 80 is average, and some few people live past a hundred years of age. All of those late- acting mutations start to become noticeable. The species calls these late life problems "ageing."

If you want to know more, read Why We Age by Steven N. Austad
ISBN-10: 0471296465 | ISBN-13: 978-0471296461

There are tons of great books written for young adults about to leave home for the first time. The better ones have checklists for everything from an apartment walkthrough to pantry essentials. Check Amazon.

Edit: This is the one I bought my little sister She says she still refers to it, and she's on her 4th place.

It's rough, man.

Take a peek at this Amazon page. Just a random book on the subject I looked up, but scroll down to the part where it says "customers also bought..." and scroll through those, see if any look familiar.

I wish I'd have caught the article and could help you more.

I'm not an expert in this area, but I do know where the best reading is to be had on the subject, so here are the books:

http://www.amazon.com/Arktos-Polar-Science-Symbolism-Survival/dp/0932813356 - This is the number one source on the Nazi North Pole thing. The guy who wrote it is kind of a genius of occult scholarship. I bet the Iron Sky writers read this book.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Occult-Roots-Nazism-Influence/dp/0814730604/ - I didn't personally like this book (as Nixon74 correctly pointed out Nazism did not have occult "roots" but merely drew on occultism vaguely), but it's the number one source for the subject, and the author wrote a sequel too

http://www.philipcoppens.com/wewelsburg.html - If you don't want to read a book here are some creepy pictures.

If you're interested in reading this, I'll ship a copy to you for free (provided you live in the US and give it away, swap, or donate it when you're done). https://www.amazon.com/Advancing-Conversations-Advocate-Indefinite-Lifespan/dp/1785353969

This, more than anything, is why we need to start taking aging seriously as a problem only yet to be solved scientifically. It's only a matter of time. The sooner we get behind this idea, the sooner it will happen. For an idea of what this will likely look like, I recommend Thid talk as an introduction. Beyond that, there are longer, more-detailed presentations, as well as debates.Here's one from earlier this year. More of the why, and the how.

http://www.amazon.com/Arktos-Polar-Science-Symbolism-Survival/dp/0932813356

Savitri Devi and Miguel Serrano would be the best bet for the 'occult' angle.

2 - check this book out. I haven't read it but I've heard good things. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B008SMB56A

If she was mine, I'd tell her to own it. What's done is done, so the best thing she can do now is hold her head high and not be ashamed if her naked, drunken self is plastered wall to wall.

After all, it's not like she's the first or last girl to get herself photographed like that. It doesn't mean there won't be consequences (ie, any hope of getting a job as a school teacher may be pooched), but she can mitigate some of the worst of it by refusing to let it define her.

Then, having told her this, I'd refocus the conversation on what the hell she's planning to do with her life. Does she have a job? Is she going to school? Are you paying for her school? Where does she plan to be next year? And the year after that?

She's an adult, and it's time to start treating her like one. That means, if she's living at home, it's for a good reason (ie, she's in school) and you get to set some ground rules (grades above a certain percentile and no drunken naked party pics). If she has no good reason to be living at home, then yes - it's time for her to leave and start becoming self-supporting.

But don't make leaving home a punishment! Help her. This is the next big step in her life, analogous to learning to walk. So buy her a copy of "Good to Go" and help her put together her first budget. Walk her through the steps of becoming independent.

And then let her go, to make her own mistakes and (hopefully) learn from them.

This post makes me very upset for a number of reasons, but mostly because you have essentially made what amounts to a character attack on me without doing any work to research the "mystic words" that I am talking about.

I want to avoid making another long form post, lest I risk you further trying to diagnose me, but I want to address why I use that language and what some of it means so that we can have some basis for communication here.

First, we are on a Daoism subreddit, which means that people post things relevant to Daoism. What I posted about is a very well established practice in Daoism with more than 1000 years of history.
Here is the wiki article:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neidan
The art is somewhat like Zen, but with more theory and coming from a Chinese Daoist background rather than a Japanese Buddhist background.

The wiki article doesn't cover all of the terminology I cited in my post, but that terminology is native to Neidan and if you google any of it in reference to neidan, you will find multiple hits, both in English and Chinese. The reason why I posted my experience is because it serves as a CV to people who know about Daoism. I probably shouldn't have taken it for granted that most people here would be familiar with those terms.

None of the practices in Neidan are based on mysticism and the things I mentioned are real physical experiences that accompany meditation practice.
It just so happens that they use archaic Chinese terminology to describe them, since Daoist practice is moored in Ancient and Medieval Daoist thought. I am not changing the terminology to make culturally bigoted Americans happy.

These concepts are native to Daoism, which I have been trained in for more than a decade by a Chinese teacher named Yang Hai.
This is his website
www.internalstyle.com

Yang Hai studied with the head of the White Cloud Temple in Beijing (Cao Zhenyang) who was one of the top priests in the Complete Reality Sect of Daoism at that time (late 1980s early 90s).

I am a translator and writer on the subject of Daoism and have work published in multiple places, including a book which was released by Tambuli Media in 2015, which can be seen here.
https://www.amazon.com/Internal-Elixir-Cultivation-Nature-Meditation/dp/1943155135/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1493516052&sr=8-1&keywords=internal+elixir+cultivation

It was very upsetting to read your post which in effect makes the claim that I am a lunatic. I would really appreciate it if after looking at the links I sent you, you would be willing to either retract your post or at least thresh it out with me, because given that my profession relies on being seen as a legitimate commentator on Daoism (that is how I get work published), then having people making claims that I am a crazy fraud is very bad for business.

Also, just to address this:

"I can't diagnose anybody online,"

So then why did you just do so?

"But I would be wary about giving money to anybody claiming to have secret or arcane knowledge."

Those are your words, I didn't say I have either secret or arcane knowledge. Also, I completely agree, caveat emptor is a very important principle, but hopefully people who are interested and have done their research will understand that I am not making any outlandish claims here.

I will also reach out to you privately, since my feeling is that this is largely based on misunderstanding, but I do hope that you will consider retracting this very damaging post.

Thanks,
Rob.

A friend recommended this: Positive Discipline: The Classic Guide to Helping Children Develop Self-Discipline, Responsibility, Cooperation, and Problem-Solving Skills https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004QWZJI6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_bd7HzbG7P5JAR Which, I have bought but only just started.

Taoist Yoga: Alchemy and Immortality
https://www.amazon.com/Taoist-Yoga-Kuan-Charles-Luk/dp/0877280673

Internal Elixir Cultivation: The Nature of Daoist Meditation
https://www.amazon.com/Internal-Elixir-Cultivation-Nature-Meditation/dp/1943155135/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1478006245&sr=1-2&keywords=internal+elixir+cultivation

Healing Light of the Tao: Foundational Practices to Awaken Chi Energy
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594771138/ref=pd_sim_14_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=2P7K1FW99QSDG12HVPZA

Foundations of Internal Alchemy: The Taoist Practice of Neidan
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0984308253/ref=pd_sim_14_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=5KF0N4TFRQQQ4PCVCH6F

The Tao of Meditation: Way to Enlightenment
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0804814651/ref=pd_sim_14_25?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=5KF0N4TFRQQQ4PCVCH6F

The good news is that there are actually multiple, up-to-date textbooks on the biology of aging:

• Biology of Aging (2nd Edition) - Roger B. McDonald (Published 2019)
  
• Biology of Longevity and Aging: Pathways and Prospects - Robert Arking (Published 2019)
  
• Human Biological Aging: From Macromolecules to Organ Systems - Glenda E. Bilder (Published 2016)
  
  Caleb Finch also wrote a textbook, The Biology of Human Longevity: Inflammation, Nutrition, and Aging in the Evolution of Lifespans, but it was published in 2007 and hasn't been updated since. There's also the 8th Edition of the Handbook of the Biology of Aging, published in 2015.

Positive Discipline because my oldest son is driving me nuts.


The Writer's Journey because I enjoy writing short stories and screenplays.

This is at least partially the case, as described in Why Life Speeds Up As You Get Older.

Another part of it is the fact that when you're young you experience all kinds of new things all the time. As you grow older and routine sets in, you will long periods of time with relatively little big changes or new experience and those will kind of merge together in your memory.

You don't remember every single time you made breakfast or drove to work, your memory of those actions consists partly of the last time you did such a thing and partly a blend of many other times you did so. The more monotonous your life becomes, the harder it is to distinguish between specific days/weeks/months/etc because of this effect, which makes those periods seem like a shorter time. A "trick" to diminish this effect is to do new things often.

There are more reasons he explains but I don't remember, these two were the main ones though iirc.

A breath of fresh air. Thank you.

Not to dissuade any discussions about Gebser, but has anyone read Lachman's book A Secret History of Consciousness which this article seems to be based on or even reprinted from? I've not, but would like to hear.

If you have Kindle Unlimited, you can read this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Twirling-Streets-Noticed-Growing-Undiagnosed-ebook/dp/B00CB4WZT2

https://everydayaspergers.com/

https://www.amazon.com/Embryonic-Breathing-Taoist-Method-Opening/dp/1537777068
Do you know if this is a good guide? Or where should I learn embryonic breathing?

Already written.

I haven't read them but I have come across books on NLP and Influence. There seems to be a series.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VNH8T9B/ref=sspa_dk_detail_0?psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExUFkyWFZFSlQzMU8xJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMjE1NTMzUVVFSU1KWFVGVURBJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTEwMjMyNzIzR09ENzA0STVTVlNLJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfZGV0YWlsJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==