Reddit mentions: The best ballroom dance books

Well I can speak from personal experiance. I am one of those you would call "beat-deaf". If you dig my post history you will see that I posted here before asking for help. So here are my tips on how I did it, and then how to make it better:

How I did it:

1. I put on HOUSE and soft house music. Yes you read that right.
   
2. You cannot miss the beats of house music - it is so prominent that the next step up would be a metronome app.
   
3. Anyways - I practised walking to the said beats for a month.
   
   How to make this better:
   
   
4. Teach them charleston! This is much more fun to dance to, and play something around 120 bpm.
   
5. I recommend electroswing. (or even soft house, who cares?)
   
6. Teach some solo jazz - jump charleston to be precise.
   
7. Once they are getting the hang of it, start with moves like a sendout. Keep the electroswing music.
   
8. Gradually mix songs with really clear beats - and then go on with tuck turns, swingouts, frisbees.
   
   You can have nice and smooth songs playing too, but make sure people get the hang of the beat. Look, my dance teacher started with 5...6..7..8..
   ..but I had no idea what the fuck that 5 was? Why 5? Why not 1? or 2? (Yes I had no clue about music).
   
   
   Take a day to teach them what the 8 count is. Play some popular songs (katy perry would do as well!!!) and show them how this 8 counts of repeating beats are present in many dance songs. Get them to recognize the pattern. A good book to read (which I did) is this one: http://www.amazon.com/Every-Survival-Guide-Ballroom-Dancing/dp/093025144X
   
   (yeah ... that isnt a survival guide - it teaches musicality).
   
   Above all - ask them to forget the technicalities and enjoy it! :-)

If she's both a good dancer and attractive, she probably has leaders falling over themselves at the home milongas to get a dance with her. When that becomes the norm, anything less might feel like people don't want to dance with her. Also, she probably doesn't have to develop dance-getting skills at the home milonga.

Another idea...do guys from your group sit next to her? Often, if a guy comes in with a girl and they sit next to each other, even if they're just friends, it can be a dance-repellent.

I'd recommend this ebook for your group: https://www.amazon.com/Enjoy-Getting-Dances-You-Want-ebook/dp/B01N2K8E0G
It specifically addresses the phenomenon that dance skill and dance-getting skill are two separate beasts.

The above is solid advice.

This is one of those, "let's sit down over a beer and talk" subjects. I wrote an entire book, simply so that I don't have to condense it into a few paras.

You can get the first chunk of it free on the Amazon preview.

https://www.amazon.com/Enjoy-Getting-Dances-You-Want/dp/152146104X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521640389&sr=8-1&keywords=oliver+kent

The only thing I would add is have a treat waiting for you at home. If the night sucks, it's good to know you've got a favourite dvd or chocolate waiting for you.

Let's Dance: Learn to Swing, Foxtrot, Rumba, Tango, Line Dance, Lambada, Cha-Cha, Waltz, Two-Step, Jitterbug and Salsa With Style, Elegance and Ease

https://www.amazon.com/Letras-tango-Selección-1897-1981-Spanish/dp/9508980788

> If you're looking for swing dance with a big social component and a younger scene, ballroom is probably not the way to go. In my experience, ballroom swing typically caters to an older crowd, is less athletic, and emphasizes improvisation less - so if you want a more codified dance experience, or if you're looking to learn swing as part of a larger family of partnered dances (rumba, bachata, waltz, etc.), ballroom might be exactly what you want! That said, if you're trying to avoid ballroom, look for "Lindy Hop" classes, not "East Coast Swing."

You forgot the part where they constantly try to upsell you private lessons. If anyone wants a read on the negative aspects of ballroom I recommend reading Glamour Addiction: Inside the American Ballroom Dance Industry by Juliet E McMains.

This reminded me of [Derek Hough's book] (https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Lead-Lessons-Life-Motion/dp/0062420321). His neighbors had teenage boys who tortured him and his sisters (yes, literal torture). Watching those boys bless the sacrament each Sunday was the first real weight on his shelf. He couldn't figure out how they were still considered "worthy," and why God didn't care about the harm they were doing to his family.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.