Not sure if there's a way you can gift him a gift certificate to a local gym for a day pass or spa that has a sauna? My dads side of the family was Finnish and whenever we'd go visit we'd always take saunas together as a family. Part of that tradition was reading the "Finnish sauna rules" which I think were half joking, half real. Anyway here's a sign that he could maybe hang in his bathroom? Not sure if it's framed, so could get it framed and shipped. Timing may be trickier though..

Okay and this is a really weird gift and a little personal, but again popular with my dad (man with the Finnish blood who's in his mid-60s) and pretty much my whole family has one now. An attachable bidet for an existing toilet. It could honestly make his quality of life a little better. Installation is pretty simple too.

Also you could get him an immersion blender. Easy way to purée soups, smoothies, etc. and they're generally only $30.

Then there's this that could play into his mad scientist side. Again another popular gift that my Dad was into.

Hope this helps and you all have a great Christmas. So nice to hear that you're taking care of your father and keep in touch with him. I'm sure it means a lot to him.

Just to clarify a few things here. While internal hemorrhoids can bleed, they typically are not painful. The nerve endings are actually there to sense fullness in your rectum for you to defecate - not for sensing pain.

The pain you're having is most likely the same external hemorrhoid, or a new one that's popped up. Have you tried looking for it, or do you feel it when you go to wipe? You can of course have both internal and external hemorrhoids at the same time. The color of the blood is difficult to gauge if you're trying to google your symptoms, since it can vary with the color and substance of your stool.

How long have you been dealing with them (from the very first flareup)? While having a soft stool is ideal, you also don't want to switch to a pure fiber only diet (can actually make the stool harder w/o water), and you also don't want to irritate the bowels causing you to have to strain excessively.

Best recommendation is this:

1. Begin taking stool softener everyday. They typically come in the 100 mg/capsule. Take two a day with a meal. Remember this is the Docusate Sodium. Not a laxative like magnesium or bisacodyl. If you're confused, just ask your pharmacist. Can be generic CVS/Walgreen brand.
   
   
2. Start taking a daily probiotic. Also can be generic.
   
   
3. Be mindful of your diet. There are certain foods/drinks that can irritate or cause flareups. Alcohol for example can cause constipation, while coffee can overstimulate the bowels leading to excess strain. Have things like this in moderation. Always stay hydrated. Remember, increasing your fiber isn't enough. If you don't get enough, start having some fiber gummies a day. But, also make sure to supplement your diet with water! Water helps create soft stools. This is important for the passage.
   
   
4. For immediate relief, you'll likely need to start the Preparation H suppositories. Unfortunately, the ointment will not be enough and will not penetrate the irritated vessels. The suppositories typically bring relief within a few days. Go ahead and use the topical ointment to coat the outer layer of the suppository to help aid in the insertion.
   
   
5. After a BM, and cleaning yourself off with toilet paper, use either Preparation H wipes or Tucks wipes. They both have Witch Hazel which is extremely effective at calming irritated hemorrhoids.
   
   
6. If you can afford it, I'd recommend the following two items. One of the Luxe Bidet's from Amazon. Not only does it keep you cleaner and you use less toilet paper, the water is excellent for relief during flareups. Toilet paper can be abrasive and even touching the prolapsed hemorrhoid can cause pain. This is extremely affective, and I encourage anyone and everyone to make the switch. Super easy to install and work amazing. We have one in every bathroom of our home. The second thing is a Squatty Potty. I see they've upped the price. These were only $25 at one point, which is more reasonable for what they are. You could get away with purchasing your own stool for less if you look around. Essentially, elevating your feet allows your bowel to flow better, preventing access strain on the hemorrhoids.
   
   
7. Lastly, I recommend to avoid working out until these go away. Once they're gone, resume exercise. Exercising will promote proper blood flow and encourage healthy BM's.
   
   
   Hope this helps - and by all means, if you don't find relief within a week, please go see a doctor. While it may seem embarrassing to you, it can be a more serious issue that requires medical intervention. Feel better!
   
   
   
   

I have Crohn's and have had 2 setons in place for 6 months while I wait for Remicade to hopefully shrink my fistulas. I can't comment on the constipation issue as I didn't have that problem but I'll share this...

Setons are challenging to your peace of mind, hygiene, and health. You have digestive acids and fecal particles slowly draining onto your skin and that can lead to skin irritation. Additionally, the seton material can cause friction pain in your butt cheeks if you walk vigorously or walk a lot. I find that talking wide strides or stretching my legs in any way causes the setons to pull on the skin that it goes through which also causes pain. Lastly, and perhaps most significantly, the setons make it very difficult to wipe effectively after a bowel movement because they can interfere with wiping motion while using toilet paper.

Given all that here are some recommendations:

1. Buy a bidet. Having fecal matter stuck in your butt because you couldn't wipe well smells terrible, feels gross, and can lead to infection. I've put some links at the bottom of this message for affordable bidets you can install on your toilet or a portable bidet to use on the go. The stream of water will clean you very well after a bowel movement and then just use TP to pat yourself dry. If you have a removable shower head you can use that to wash yourself after a bowel movement if you don't want to install a bidet. I highly recommend the portable bidet. I take mine with me whenever I'm away from home and can carry it discretely in a small tote bag. If I need to move my bowels I can still clean myself properly.
   
   
2. Take long baths daily. Your doctor probably recommended a sitz bath a few times per day for 15 minutes but I found that minimally helpful. I found true relief in soaking in a hot tub morning and night each day for as long as my schedule would allow. While in the tub palpate and press gently on any remaining abcesses to help them drain. I'd read in the tub, browse Reddit, watch Netflix, etc. often spending 90 minutes in a hot/warm bath because it felt so good.
   
   
3. Carry protective pads. Some people like large gauze pads. I found it easier to use panty liners. Your drainage will smell and stain your clothes off you don't protect them. I through 2-3 pads per day now but was definitely more when my drainage was heavier. I keep a few in the portable bidet tote bag in case I need a fresh pad while I'm away from home.
   
   
4. Be careful about the ibuprofen use - and get a colonoscopy. When I came down with abcesses and they found my fistulas my colorectal surgeon didn't think I had Crohn's because I didn't have a lot of common symptoms. It wasn't until we did a colonoscopy a few months after the seton placement that I learned that I actually do have Crohn's. NSAID's aggravate Crohn's so it might be prudent to switch to Tylenol until Crohn's is ruled out in your case.
   
   
5. Calmoseptine Ointment. It's such a great barrier in protecting your skin from moisture irritation. It's like diaper cream with super powers. But if you find yourself without Calmoseptine diaper cream is better than nothing.
   
   
6. You may need to choose different exercises for now. As I wrote above, the setons limit my range of motion and cause friction between my butt cheeks so running is an absolute no no. I've even had to modify my walking gait whereby I have shortened my student considerably and walk at a slower pace.
   
   I'm sorry to dump all this on you. It's an overwhelming time and throwing all this info at you may just make you feel more overwhelmed. But I hope that you'll come to find this information helpful and that it helps you maintain your dignity and sanity as you wait for the fistulas to heal.
   
   Bidet links: I own #2 and #3
   
   1 - Base $35 model, cold water only https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO
   
   2 - Deluxe $60 model, hot and cold water. Note that you'll need a hot water line close enough to the bidet to be able to run a line from the hot water source to the bidet. Check your bathroom before buying. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RX2UI
   
   3 - Travel Bidet:
   Not as effective as the built in models but I'm oh so glad to have it when I have to move my bowels if I'm not at home. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008CSDKSQ
   

This is the one I have. You can buy one that has a hook up for hot water as well but my tap water isn't cold for whatever reason so it doesn't bother me to just have a cold water line. It uses the water that would eventually run to the tank. It's basically like using the water from your sink line--I know a lot of people think that its uses "toilet bowl" water but it doesn't. It's really easy to install. I actually have reinstalled it on a different toilet in my house and it worked on both. You do have to buy little spacers to attach to the bottom of your toilet seat since the bidet attachment makes the back of the seat sit a bit higher than the front. Again, they're really easy to install/uninstall. Definitely get the ones that screw on so they don't fall off one day into the toilet.

To use you just stay seated and SLOWLY turn on the knob. The one I have linked has SUPER HIGH water pressure but maybe there are models that aren't so strong. Do NOT turn it on while you're standing in front of it "just to make sure it works". I shot myself in the chest the first time I tested it hahahaha. Lots of guests also get curious and turn it on while standing in front of the toilet instead of sitting and end up getting shot in the chest or face. It's hilarious. My father in law for shot in the forehead with the water!

All in all its a 45$ investment if you use the same set up I did--definitely worth the money and if you can always upgrade to a different model if you end up liking it!

There are handheld type options that look like a shower head but they require maneuvering on the toilet and seem like more trouble than just staying seated.

I tried moist wipes for a while but a lot of them have alcohol in them and seemed to dry out more than they helped.

Sorry for the long winded response, hope it was helpful!

Those are the nice ones. There's another category of budget ones from like $20-60 all over Amazon from a hundred Chinese clone companies. They're hit or miss on quality as the reviews show, but I figured they're so cheap, why not give it a try. It has been great. The nicer ones offer better options, heated water, aerated water, air dryers, fancy remotes and all this, and that would be great but I don't want to pay for it and my hot water line is across the room from the toilet, so a cheapo is fine for me.

I got this one and it has been great. People in the reviews talked about it blasting your starfish skin off and wow they weren't kidding. The pressure twisty knob on this one is an illusion - realistically there's only Off or Peel Paint. So I got one of these twisty valves to go between the bidet hose and the main water pipe so I could fine tune the pressure to more reasonable levels and that has been great. You want some pressure to get that stuff off of you but not so much that your proctologist runs out of the room crying.

Wet butthole cleaning is the only way to go, the only way that makes sense, and sometimes it's nice to just let it run while you contemplate things and see if any more wants to come out. Toilet paper lasts forever now because you just need a couple squares to dab dry.

OP, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I have zero experience with this particular thing, so I don’t have much of any use to add, but I did have two quick thoughts.

The first is that you may want to look into a NaPro doctor. There’s a religious component, which you can choose to ignore, but the benefit is that they don’t believe in birth control, so they won’t suggest it as a treatment. They do use cervical mucus as their basis for understanding where you are hormonally, so they may not be able to help, but I think it’s worth a shot.

The second is that you may want to get a bidet. I have this one that installs right on the existing toilet, and I love it. I have PCOS and rarely get periods, but when I do, it’s an absolute lifesaver. It feels much fresher than using wipes.

Luxe Bidet Neo 320 - Self Cleaning Dual Nozzle - Hot and Cold Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RX2UI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_uWl3AAcwzWWiu

Whatever you do, I wish you the very best of luck.

I have extensive experience with this!!

First and foremost, get her a bidet that attaches to the toilet. It will make post-pee/poo so much more manageable. Make sure to get one that is easy to operate and where she can turn the knob easily. Amazon has tons to choose from. Edit: This is the one I have experience with. Worked wonderfully and was easy to install.

Other helpful products:

-A loofah that suctions to the shower wall. Several at varying heights is even better. Also a loofah on a long handle for when she has more mobility.

-Shower protectors for her casts/bandages

-Finger foods she doesn't need utensils to use for when she gains some mobility back. Cut veggies, berries, and crackers are a good start.

-Pull-on pants without buttons. Don't have to be sweatpants, necessary. Again, you can find tons on Amazon.

-Slip-on shoes

Good luck to your mom!! If I think of anything else I'll let you know. :)

Genie Bidet! Got it from amazon. We had the luxe bidet attachment before and it worked great as well but it was a bitch to clean around. We got the genie bidet recently, it is a whole toilet seat, and it’s been awesome. So much easier to keep clean and the parts it came with were quality metal (no plastic!). The seat is slow close and nice quality. I also love it’s super sleek design. It doesn’t have a giant dial sticking out the side or anything, it’s very subtle.


GenieBidet ELONGATED Seat-Self Cleaning Dual Nozzles. Rear & Feminine Cleaning - No wiring required. Simple 20-45 minute installation or less. Hybrid T with ON/OFF Included! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TCN0NP8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Mq4YDbDK87S1T

I'm two weeks post-op.

People here all have fantastic suggestions so far!
I used:

1. Fruit of the Loom bras from Wal-Mart, look like this. They were cheaper at the store vs. Amazon. I specifically like this bra because it's shaped like a tank top -- not a racerback, which means I can wear more clothes with it without straps showing.
   
2. Curad Non-Stick pads that look like this. That's what my doctor shoved in my post-op bra, so I just got more of them. Now I don't need them anymore. I didn't even finish the one box of 12.
   
3. Husband installed this bidet for me. The dignity of cleaning my own butt after such a challenging surgery was nice.
   
4. Someone else said heating pad -- yep.
   
5. Consider pre-making some food -- something really healthy and easy to eat. I made a diet soup that is meant for a cleanse because it had a ton of fiber (cabbage, lots of other veg) and was easy to heat a little at a time. I can provide the recipe link if you want it. I also took psyllium fiber tablets every day and drank dark coffee each morning, while drinking as much water as I could. And I lost some extra weight with the soup, too. For breakfast, I only ate oatmeal with cinnamon and bananas since that's so easy to digest. I had no problems, uh, getting the job done with all that fiber.
   
6. We installed a handheld shower head. I had my husband around to help me bathe, and it made things easier for both of us. I sat in a shallow bath and he helped me clean with the shower head. In the shallow bath, I used some scented epsom salts to help me relax. The first couple of baths were uncomfortable and awkward and it helped.
   
7. Tylenol. I weaned myself off the drugs after 3-4 days. In the morning, I took half the dose of Tylenol (which is every 3 hours vs. 6) to see how my pain was, then I'd either take another one on time, wait a while, or take half a pain pill. I did this until I was using only Tylenol and eventually nothing or only one dose a day of it.

I’d be happy to offer you guidance on your journey into the amazing world of bidets.

I started out with this one:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00A0RHSJO/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1523776662&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=bidet&dpPl=1&dpID=419LXSZM6YL&ref=plSrch

It’s an awesome bidet and does the job perfectly, is super easy to install and for $35 you can’t go wrong.

However about six months ago I decided to splurge and get the king of all bidets, the Toto Washlet:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00UCIOWRM/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523776789&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=toto+washlet&dpPl=1&dpID=31uvbuDPUAL&ref=plSrch

It’s expensive but worth it; the water is heated, it has different speeds and the nozzle can move back and forth, and the best part is that it dries your butt afterwards, which is amazing.

One thing about bidets though—for us guys, unless you don’t mind your balls being sprayed with water, it is kind of necessary to make sure they’re out of the way, or figure out a position where the water doesn’t hit them.

As someone who takes narcotics for pain, may I recommend Miralax? It dissolves in coffee easily and helps keep the constipation to a minimum.

Softer poop will be much easier to pass, talk to the docs about how much Miralax you need.

(I'm not a medical professional, please talk to an expert before taking new drugs!)

You're also going to need a bidet attachment for your toilet. That will help clean your butt without lots of painful wiping. I recommend this one, it's easy to install and use: "Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white)" https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/

Good luck with your butthole, OP, I hope you heal quickly. Remember that the embarrassment will fade, accidents happen :)

Going paperless is still in fashion in parts of Asia. But for me, a guy born & raised in America, it was a leap of faith about a year ago when I installed a bidet under the toilet seat and no amount of Internet videos & articles could truly prepare me for that first blast. But here I am, almost a year later and I'd never go back. Benefits I've noticed include:

• Hemorrhoid Relief: Because my work keeps me mostly in a chair at a desk, I used to have some terrible pain down there. Really, really terrible. We're bloody stools that looked like a Nightmare on Elm Street special toilet edition. They took a few months to go away, but today I have no problems unless there is an extremely hard stool.
  
  
• Spicy Foods, bring it on! It used to be a real pain about 12 hours after I ate hot spicy foods. Now I wash away the heat from down beneath.
  
  
• Cleaned to Pristine: Toilet paper will always leave poop residue on your bunghole. Wipe all you like, it's still there. With water, I'm 100% clean every time.
  
  
• Great cool down after heavy exercise: On a hot summers day when you go out and run or lift or whatever, a great way to catch your breath and cool down is to sit on a cold bidet and let it take your breath away. Yeah, this one's a little weird but it truly is a great cool down.
  
  
• Diarrhea Be Dammed: On those rare occasions when I'm sick with the flu, hourly bowel movements used to really irritate the backside because of all the wiping. With my bidet I said goodbye to chapped anus.
  
  
• Go Deep: For the brave, you can actually center the stream and go for a minor colon flush.
  
  
• The Humor: The face my 5 year old son made the first time he decided to play with the lever while sitting on my toilet will forever be burned into my sense of humor. I never would have known just how BIG his eyes can get. Absolutely priceless.
  
  
• $Money$: Every dollar you're not spending on toilet tissue is a dollar you can spend towards sitting on a beach with the beverage of your choice.
  
  
• Never running out of the Important Papers. (self explanatory, you KNOW what I'm talking about)
  
  
• Environmentally Friendlier: Toilet paper actually is bad for the environment. The process to make it requires massive amounts of water and chemicals. I don't think anyone is clear cutting rain forests to make toilet tissue, but it does take trees and electric energy. After the fact, toilet tissue has to be broken down at the sewage plant and a portion of it ends up as a gray matter that ends up in landfills (take a tour of your local sewage plant to see what I mean).
  
  I have found that it's healthier, cleaner and more environmental to give up toilet tissue. I've often wondered how much of an impact it would if everyone on Earth made the switch.
  
  The Bad:
  While there are portable 'squeeze water bottle' bidets available, I find them impractical to carry with me. So on the rare occasions I'm not 'making the morning deposit' at home and I have no choice but to paper wipe, it irritates because I'm not used to it.
  
  How it works:
  A device connects under your toilet seat with a small water sprayer that showers your 'down there'. A water supply line connects under the toilet's water tank using a T adapter. It's actually a pretty simple DIY project to install, but make darned sure you have all the plumbing supplies you need before you start if this is your only toilet. There are heated models available. My largest fear at the beginning was the cold water part. Heated models require wiring and are much more expensive. I decided to try the cold model first and see how it went. Glad I did, I'd never want to use heated water now. The first couple goes were a bit chilly, but it got easier every time.
  
  http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Ne.../dp/B009ZLRSJ6/
  
  So there it is, my tell all deepest darkest secret. Ask me any questions, or if you're in the Bidet Brotherhood (or sisterhood) share your own experiences.

I recently made two purchases which have rocked my shitting world. The first is the Squatty Potty - crappy name, good idea. It changes your pooping posture to one more like squatting, which means less pushing, less hemorrhoids and less wiping. After hearing about this, I tried for a while just putting my feet on the trash can and other things, but it's way easier and more comfortable to just get the stool (in my opinion). EDIT: Read closer and see that you're already squatting, but I still recommend the stool if you don't have one.

Second, I got a bidet attachment for my toilet. There are MANY to choose from, but I got the lowest priced one on Amazon and have been very pleased. This is a simple device that just provides a stream of cool water to your bum to spray off the poo. Then you use a bit of toilet paper or cloth (your bum is clean, so no poo stains to wash off) to just dry off.

Between the two, I barely use toilet paper anymore, and I also used to need to use quite a lot to clean up. The downside to these purchases is that I'm now completely spoiled at home and miss them deeply when I travel.

If you're re-doing your bathroom, maybe a fancy mom-level bidet is in the cards for you, but a year ago or so I bought one of these Astor Bidets from Amazon. $25, I feel at this point, everyone should be blasting their asshole with water. Super easy to install, seems to be a laser guided, heat seeking water stream as it hits the spot with stunning accuracy.

Has variable speeds, but full blast is total hole destruction, unnecessary. The downside versus a pro-bidet is the water is cold only, I'd imagine warm water bidets feel amazing but surprisingly, the cold water isn't bad at all.

It's a gamechanger, best $25 I ever spent.

https://nutritionfacts.org/video/chicken-out-of-utis/ Click on the "View transcript" button below the video if you don't want to watch. It has the benefit of being evidence based.

**Edit to add: https://nutritionfacts.org/video/avoiding-chicken-to-avoid-bladder-infections/

I got my bidet off Woot, but Amazon has them for under $30. You'll want to get a better connector than the plastic one they come with, but it's been a godsend for me.


https://www.amazon.com/TP70-Handheld-Personal-Portable-Capacity/dp/B00O92IF6Q/ref=sr_1_7?crid=7YUMED4AGJKQ is a cheap and easy tester for the portable ones.

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_4 is what Woot.com had for about the same price, and I love it.

I never thought it would be weird, I just thought they'd be expensive and never got around to looking into them. Last week I saw someone on reddit mention a nice affordable Luxe bidet I could get on amazon for under $40, and I figured why not pull the trigger. It was super easy to install, and it seriously is the greatest home improvement purchase I've ever made.

It's like washing your butt in a shower after every #2, just dry with a little bit of toilet paper and you're done. Amazing!

This is the model I bought if you're interested in looking at reviews and what not: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00JG2DETM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499879011&sr=8-1&keywords=luxe+120

Salam

Jazak Allah Khair for helping him out. No need to get angry. Remember that what you teach him will be written as a reward for you every time he does it. It's a great opportunity to gain a lot of rewards.

I am not sure about which you are talking.

If it's about Wudu, then explain to him that we are taught as Muslims to not waste water. And that getting water to where it should be is enough (i.e., in Wudu)

If it's cleaning up after visiting the bathroom then maybe you could consider [this] (http://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Toilet-Attachment/dp/B003TPGPUW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1404518306&sr=8-1&keywords=bidet) Or maybe swing by Home Depot and explain to them that you want to install a water spray bidet. It's very doable and here is a [video] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sT_wfTv7UI).

Good luck and May Allah reward you.

Of course! There are a view inexpensive and promising ones. I chose this . Not exactly dirt cheap, but cheap compared to its similarly highly-rated competitors. There are cheaper ones out there.

We honestly talked about them and found the idea to be a good one, I just didn’t think he’d commit to the idea. Now he has to try it! I’ll keep the sub updated 😆

Happy early birthday wishes to your husband!!!

Become more budget minded:

Start cooking more instead of eating out or buying frozen meals. Eat before you go shopping so you don't buy a whole bunch of junk. :)

Try going without a smart phone (basic phone) or cable plan (just internet).

Shop at thrift stores.

Create and sell thing on FB marketplace, Etsy, LetGo, eBay, etc.

Start saving a % of your income each each. Lets say you make $20,000. Attempt to save 25% of that.

Read up on being more /r/frugal or /r/minimalist / /r/minimalism.

Start growing vegetables or herbs if you can, look into /r/gardening.

Install a Bidet to save money on toilet paper.

Lots of things you can do to save money. Learn to love and appreciate what you have. :)

All I've used are Luxe Bidet brand, though I've used several different models.

The first 3 installs I did were essentially this one, though I think slightly different:

MB110: http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-MB110-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment/dp/B001KKRCFA/ref=sr_1_5?s=hi&ie=UTF8&qid=1421506832&sr=1-5&keywords=luxe+bidet

Afterwards, woot.com had a sale on the Neo line, and I picked up one fresh water (http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-180-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RMQ1E/ref=sr_1_1?s=hi&ie=UTF8&qid=1421506832&sr=1-1&keywords=luxe+bidet) and one heated (http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-320-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RX2UI/ref=sr_1_2?s=hi&ie=UTF8&qid=1421506832&sr=1-2&keywords=luxe+bidet).

Given my experience, I really do prefer either of the Neos.

Temperature: I'm indifferent about the temperature honestly. Only the 320 model has hot water piped in. It's like washing your hands. Wait for the warm/hot water or just live with the not-cold water coming through? Pro-tip: If you want to pre-warm the water, turn on the sink's hot water while doing your business.

Cleaning: Neos have a self-clean function and shield for the spigots. The old one only is shielded while the spigot is up.

"Front cleaning": Neos have two spigots. One aimed at the front, one aimed at the back. I have never had the need to clean my junk after I pee, so I've not used it, but the wife appreciates it.

Control: The old one has a turn dial to control flow. The neos have a nice lever that would remind you of how you control flow with modern sinks.

Hope this helps. Feel free to PM with any more questions.

Here is the item that I bought. It's REALLY simple to install and it should take no longer than 5-10 minutes.

What does it do? Pretty much when you are done pooping it shoots water on your asshole completely cleaning your asshole out. And when I mean on your asshole I MEAN RIGHT THERE, ON YOUR ASSHOLE. Note: If you have hemorrhoids it's best to get that fixed first before using the bidet.

How does it do it? (I'm bad at explaining things.) There's a diverter tube that get connected to the tube that flows into your toilet, that attaches to the bidet. It uses water pressure from your house and jets the water onto your backside. You may have to move your butt around to make sure the water gets your whole butthole. Then you get up and wipe your butt with toilet paper. There should be no poop, only water on the toilet paper. It's 95% one wipe day, EVERYDAY!

Put it like this: Imagine if you got poop on you arm right now. How would you clean it up? Would you be happy with using a paper towel and leaving it as in? No, you probably would run water on your arm first then wipe it off with the towel. What you are pretty much doing right now on your backside is being happy/content with using just the toilet paper to clean your backside and being happy. That's just gross. That $55 that I spent on my bidet has LITERALLY paid for itself in less than a week. The feeling of actually being clean back there feels amazing. (Note: I do NOT work for LUXE bidet or know anyone that does nor am I an investor.) Buy it, try it, and you'll be thanking me later. Unless you have hemorrhoids.

Am female, and live with other females.

​

I got a barebones hose attachment off Amazon for ~$40 last December, and it's been great! As /u/Jennjersnap said, there's definitely a learning curve involved. The hose attachment I have is cold water only and is surprisingly not that bad even during the winter; you may go numb depending on the water temperature, but it does not compare to having cold water down your spine. FWIW, I still use 1 square of TP after rinsing up from #2 to be sure of thoroughness (and flush after #2 before rinsing). Other than that, I just try to aim well enough to not get more wet than necessary, and manage to dry off just fine by putting on clothes. My roommate who uses the bidet dries off with tp, but claims to still use less than before having the bidet.

​

If you or anyone in your household has mobility issues, I would suggest the style that sits inside the toilet bowl, though I have no experience with them. If you go this route, make sure to get one that has a "guard" that covers the spout when not in use to avoid contamination. Otherwise I believe the hoses are cheaper, generally more durable (make sure to turn them off at the source to avoid flooding!), and have more flexibility in use-- I've even used them to powerwash the bathtub, and they're often used for cloth diaper cleaning.

​

The best general tip I have is to check diagrams of how the bidet in question is supposed to be angled, cleaned, and otherwise maintained.



Edit: We had the AquaNexis.

For us, day 10 things started calming down with less urgent bodily alarms to hit the bathroom and the return of more normal density, thank goodness. As of now, I actually feel like my inner workings are functioning better than pre-keto, which is surprising. I really hope things calm down for you soon!

As a side note Someone in r/keto recommended this little godsend to literally save our butts during the process. It really helps as I completely understand how clean up can become a literal pain in the ass.

https://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment-CB-1000/dp/B003TPGPUW

Talk to your oncologist first but you may want to get on some probiotics. Chemo really kills the gut flora and sometimes a little push (probiotics / yogurt) can help get things back on track.
Also we ordered this to help with hubbys post-chemo & post RPLND bathroom time, and it's been great. Highly recommend.
Good luck!

It's easy. I used a wrench and a socket set and I think a flathead. I'm not very "handy" and I got it installed perfectly with no problems. This is the one I added to my other toilet:

Astor Bidet Fresh Water Spray Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment CB-1000 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003TPGPUW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_q.aBxbNSS18MT

I don't know why the price went up like $40. Seems it's only available via third party sellers right now. Look up similar ones. They're all pretty much the same.

As for guests seeing it, my dad fell in love with it so I ordered him one last year for Father's Day. My gf was apprehensive then admitted she liked it.

The best thing to do would get it checked out. I would pick up a bidet for sure! (I have this one and & love it) It's a natural way of cleaning and does not irritate the hemorrhoids. Lubes and ointments get expensive after a while and are temporary solutions. Plus, bidets make it a lot easier for pregnant women to reach hard to get places and are great for postpartum.

>I think they're gross/unsanitary.

lol this line is really funny. Nothing is more gross or unsanitary than wadding a piece of tissue and smudging crap around in hopes it comes off, even better with wet wipes. Bidets just use water pressure from the line to clean you ass clean, no smudging around down there. After you just pat your butthole dry with a little bit of tissue paper.

>I mean you take a crap, or pee, it gets on the side of the toilet bowl, presumably on the bidet opening, then you're shooting that up into your butthole/crotch region?

this is the one I use and you can see when not in use the nozzle goes back into the guard. Even if you have spraying shit the nozzle will never be hit, also make sure to install it in a right angle so far back enough so your shit won't hit it but enough so the water pressure can clean you off.

The issue is 100% no there at all, and you will clean it like any other product you have in the bathroom. Just anti-bacterial wipes or whatever like how you will regularly clean your toilet bowl.


It truly changed the way of cleaning myself after I use the toilet, so much cleaner now compared to wet wipes or toilet paper only. People laughed at me for buying one until they used it, now they all bought one.

At first I loved the wipes, but over time I realized I was sensitive to them. (I don’t normally have sensitive skin.)
The best thing I’ve found is a “spray bidet” which you can easily attach to a toilet - cleaning with plain water is ideal! Something like this:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01A9A9MUO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_BpeECbJEGWHNS

For real though, bidets are the truth and seriously neither expensive nor hard to install.

I’m sitting on mine right now after taking a heavenly coffee poop and am reveling in my clean butthole.

If you want to live like a caveman smearing your feces further with an elevated soft paper towel, be my guest though.

Edit: Best wishes, Q. May you grab your nuts at many refs in your next chapter.

Edit 2: here’s a model similar to the one I have:
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_GaF4BbHZXSN67

I may your buttholes ever be clean!

What's your bidget? ;)

I'd highly recommend this one, hooks up to the water supply. Totos are the best but you'll need an electric outlet nearby. This is from Amazon unfortunately, but don't know where to buy this locally. It's great!

Luxe Bidet Neo 180 (Elite Series) - Self Cleaning Dual Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment with Strong Faucet Valves and Metal Hoses https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00A0RMQ1E/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_wD52xbYSPD7X4

They are super nice. I just bought a cheep one a year ago and i'm SOOOO glad I did.

But yes, you want TP after you bidet, but just like 2 squares to dry.... But if you dont have any tp, it's just slightly annoying to have a completely clean but slightly damp tush. Annoying vs unlivable.

If you're curious This is the one I suggest. It's $35. I did a lot of research and this one is well reviewed for the price. Installation is about 10 min, you have to unscrew the hose for the toilet, screw it back on, then take of the toilet seat, and put it back on. $35 is throw away money for most people. And you'll save loads on TP so it'll pay for it's self easy. And of course if you ever get the burning shits, you'll be blessing my name.

Seriously, just do it.

I have this one and it is a game changer. Totally recommend it. Not only do you use little or no TP, but the feeling of being totally clean afterwards is awesome. I used to pride myself on being a company time pooper, now I wait til I get home (if I can help it) to use the bidet.

Trust me. Best 40$ I've spent on Amazon.... already paid for itself in reduced toilet paper use...


Premium Stainless Steel Bathroom Handheld Bidet Toilet Sprayer - Shattaf Sprayer Best Used for Personal Hygiene and Potty Toilet Spray - Perfect Bottom Cleaner Spray & Shower Attachment, by Aqua Nexis https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01A9A9MUO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_J9Y9AbPQFV8PH

Fucking love my bidet. Cheap and easy to get, and I don't wanna poop anywhere else.

Also you used the wrong comparison operator. That means toilet paper is the best

Edit: for reference people.. What I use is something like this: http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-MB110-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment/dp/B001KKRCFA

Cheap.. Cheaper than the toilet paper you waste, you have a fresh just showered bum. And it really is amazing. Seems like everybody is skeptical at first, including me. I guess in the US were taught that paper makes your ass no longer smell like shit. That isn't the case, can confirm.

Edit 2: btw my SO loves it for after sex, it hits the vagina real good and clean it up then too, if you aim it towards there. So less dripping for hours after sex

idk if it's one of the better ones, but this is the one I have, and it works great:

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RMQ1E/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00__o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

There's also a cheaper ($35) version that looks to be almost the same (I can't remember now why I got the $50 one):

https://smile.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO?ref_=bl_dp_s_web_5456991011

I actually bought it a few years back after I saw it linked in a random Reddit thread. Definitely the best thing Reddit has done for my life.

I tried the Luxe Bidet Neo 120 as well and even the "1" was way too strong for me.

[The RinseWorks - Aquaus 360] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01CF51ZJ2/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1) on the other hand has a great range of pressure and is also much more wieldy. I absolutely love it and I haven't used TP at home since I got it. Just watch out where you aim it...I definitely sprayed myself in the face during one very sleepy midnight pee.

There's a little shower head type thing that is retracted underneath the bottom of your toilet seat but like 8" down(The seats on these are pretty tall) and moves out a little and shoots up stream at like a 30 degree angle at your rear door and sprays it clean. It just all goes off you and down into the water. I've never had any on the nozzle thing or the bowl of the toilet. It's all a rather clean process. The water hose for it is split from the water hose that you have from the sink for drinking water, never from in the toilet....

https://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment-CB-1000/dp/B003TPGPUW/

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_ep_dp_8ogezbMWQPKFX

Thats the one I got. Its pretty good and worth spendin 35 bucks on just to see if you like it or not. If not it was just 35 bucks but if you do it is gonna be a game changer. No more mud butt, endless wiping on messy days, etc.

It was pretty easy to install with basic tools. They have a higher end one that's got hot water hookups that would be cool during winter. Summer around here the cold water is warm anyway in my neck of the woods.

First time was a little weird but after that it was awesome.

I second this! We got a bidet attachment a few months ago and aside from the obvious rinse after #2 which is great, I love it for cleaning up after sex and during my period. Serious life improvement. I'll share the link to the one I got from Amazon, it's only $45 and has a "woman" setting which aims more forward than the regular setting. It installed in about ten minutes. Totally worth it imo.

Luxe Bidet Neo 185 (Elite Series)

Edit: typo

Buy her a bidet toilet attachment. This will give you the chance to talk at great length about how clean it gets you. That will start her thinking along those lines. You may have to get yourself one first then act like it's the second coming of Christ to justify getting her one too. I have one it's awesome you'll feel cleaner than you ever have before and you'll hook your girl up at the same time. They are cheap on Amazon.

This is the one my gf installed in 20 minutes. It has both ass and female parts cleaning nozzles and works SOOOO well! I almost hate pooping anywhere else but at home just because I love how the bidet does such a good job. Also, really good to freshen up before and after sex with :)

I pretty much went to the Amazon top-rated ones in the category; I got this one first and it's great, then when we built another bathroom next to my bedroom I bought one of these because I was curious about the warm water (it's nice, but it was a bit more difficult to install and takes time to warm up anyway). Both of them were a lot cheaper when I bought them 3-4 years ago; it looks like the top-rated one right now is this; I can't personally speak about it but the ratings are good. :)

Also I forgot to mention in my first post: toilet paper lasts basically forever. Using four to six squares just to dry off it takes me over three months to use a single roll.

Haha, I'm glad I could be of some help! Also if you really want to be a super pooper, get yourself one of these bidet attachments. I picked one up a couple months ago and it forever changed my views on pooping. It's like a power washer for your anus. I can't recommend it enough.

Also if you plan on snagging one, don't bother to get the hot water version. That's because the hot water has to heat up first just like how your sink works because it's tapping off the same line. You get used to the cold water version and don't even notice it after the first couple uses.

Or buy a great $35 bidet and save hundreds on toilet paper! Best DIY quality of life purchase I've made, took 10 minutes. Especially helpful certain times of the month.
Ever get your hands really dirty and try and wipe them clean with a dry paper towel? Didn't think so.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JG2DETM/ref=twister_B00KRO5XLA?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Would you rather wash poop off your hands with water, or with a piece of paper? Which do you think would get your hand cleaner? Using a bidet is a bit like taking a shower after each poop; your rear end will be squeaky clean. They're also cleaner because you don't need to rub your hand close to your dirty butt like you do with toilet paper or wet wipes. You only need to.. dab your rear end a couple times to dry it off.

For those who are curious, bidet attachments run about $40 on Amazon. https://amzn.com/B00A0RHSJO

This might be tmi but have you ever used a bidet? I got one on Amazon like this that hooks up to a normal commode. It's pretty forceful even on the lowest setting and you can really get it blasted into nooks and crannies. For that fresh clean feeling! And it's not a bad way to wake up in the morning ;)

You want one of these, honestly everyone should have these. We have them in all of our bathrooms. Easy to install. [Link](Premium Stainless Steel Bathroom Handheld Bidet Toilet Sprayer - Shattaf Sprayer Best Used for Personal Hygiene and Potty Toilet Spray - Perfect Bottom Cleaner Spray & Shower Attachment, by Aqua Nexis https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01A9A9MUO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_03v5CbCFH8GYF)

Yes, this happened to me frequently. Best advice I got was to use a bidet to replace wiping. So happy I did. Water is the best solvent for this kind of cleaning and you don't have to use dry scratchy paper that never really gets it done. It was a game changer for me. I don't feel civilized without access to a bidet. Less than $30 on Amazon. http://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003TPGPUW/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1420015165&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX200_QL40

Maybe the easiest thing to do is take control over it (Buy lube - seriously.. buy it). You know you're interested in it so why not prep before hand - clean yourself in the shower, climb into bed, hand him your newly purchased bottle of lube and suggest some back door action. Instead of worrying about how to take 8-inches though, start with a finger and gradually build up to it just to see how you and your body likes it. It should give you a better idea of how your IBS will handle it and it'll be slow enough that you can slowly introduce bigger things into the mix if you desire as you go along. Keep it casual and fun. You're playing in the backdoor - at some point you're going to see stuff but it shouldn't be a mood killer, what did you expect :)

On a side note - IBS or not, if you're worried about cleanliness, you can always install a bidet toilet attachment. I installed 2 of them in my house now and I swear by them. Not messy at all.

I really wouldn't recommend him going in without ever working smaller things in the mix. I'm his size and if i were to try that in the very beginning my gf's would never want to try it again.

I feel like I post about this here at LEAST once a month. Get a bidet. They're cheap as hell and they make a WORLD of difference. Some people here think it's "weird" but hey, so is shatting blood out of your rear on a daily basis, so they need to get the fuck over it. After the first week of using it I decided it was THE single best purchase I have ever made on the internet BAR NONE. I turned one of my non-IBD friends onto it and he arrived at the same conclusion. We always feel clean, and we now like to joke regularly about being superior to the rest of society on account of having immaculate assholes. The paper still plays a role, but I just use it to pat my ass dry after washing.

I have one of these:

http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-MB110-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment/dp/B001KKRCFA/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1417520121&sr=8-5&keywords=luxe+bidet

There are even cheaper options too -- just search for "bidet," anything with a lot of good reviews will be fine.

Really, wiping alone is a pretty fucking crude way of cleaning anything. It's like wiping melted chocolate and peanut butter off an old weathered picnic table with a dry paper towel.

P.S. I used to think I'd need a heated version that sprays warm water, but I've actually discovered that the cooler winter ground water is quite soothing to my irritated asshole when I'm having one of those "4-5 poops before I can leave the house" mornings. Also, wet wipes are seriously not shit compared to a bidet. They're still nice, but there is no comparing the two.

Before we moved in, I hired a forensic cleaning company to completely clean sanitize the whole house. (Well, except for the basement.) Being able to move into a perfectly clean house where I didn't have to worry about my then-infant daughter touching something nasty was a huge help.

Installing bidets on the toilets in the house was a big hygiene improvement, especially for my daughter.

Epoxy coating the garage floor has saved tons of time in spill cleanups.

For those that are interested, there are actually very cheap modifications that you can install on an existing toilet rather than replacing it with an expensive bidet.

About 6 months ago I read an article on reddit about how great there were and got interested, and bought this one on impulse for $35: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001KKRCFA/ (I think there's a newer version in the same price range, so look around a bit before you buy.)

It just uses your normal water supply and the water where I live is from a well so it is ice cold in the winter. It took a little getting used to, but seriously I have to say that I love the thing. I would hate to go back to a normal toilet. It also vastly reduces the amount of tissue paper you use, so from an environmental standpoint that is pretty good.

^(Not exactly sure this is TrueReddit material, but since I have an opinion...)

I'm gonna hijack this thread really quick and say that I have installed those bidets that can fit onto your current toilet seat. I have them in both of my places, and as a dude, have been using them for years. I can say the best advantages are:

• Easy to install
  
• Use only a couple squares, just to dry
  
• Got that fresh clean feeling all day
  
  They're really not that expensive: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_3aVizbRPGPPA7

You're about to owe me a huge favor. The best thing I have purchased in the last 5 years is this (I bought a house last year and that doesn't compare with net happiness vs cost) :

http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1420580324&sr=8-5&keywords=bidet

This $50 thing CHANGED MY LIFE. It is AMAZING. It's a "shitty" conversation to have with your GF. It's like 5 minutes of awkwardness for a lifetime of a clean bottom. No wiping, almost no toilet paper, no remnants, it's faster, it's healthier.

The surgery is a lot to deal with but when it's over you will feel like you have your life back. I bought a bidet from amazon and it really helps me.


toilet


Portable

I like to be clean because the movements are more acidic.

First, congratulations!

My suggestion is to take good care of your fiancee... since that's what you want them to think you're doing, after all ;-)

Did your father-in-law already buy a bidet?? If not, Amazon US actually sells cheap basic bidets/spray toilet seats that you could install, if you really wanted to go above and beyond. Really, though, a bidet is the answer you seek... your in-laws will feel comfortable, and happy to know you cared enough to go out of your way since bidets aren't so common in the U.S.


Having slippers, chopsticks, and bottled beverages (non-sweetened) available for them would also be a nice gesture. Not everyone uses them, but for some it's a real comfort to have them around.

I used TP for the longest time, and then I tried my mom's baby wipes. I fell in love. Pull it out of the box, use it, then fold it up to a clean side. Use again, fold again, use again, fold again. You could get three, sometimes four good solid wipes out of a single sheet.

Then I found out that wipes don't break down in the septic system. And I found out about the bill for slurping out 2 years worth of baby wipes from the cesspool. So now I had to dispose of them in the wastebasket, or some other separate container.

A...less than ideal sort of solution.

Then I got this. (Oh, you sneaky fuckers. It was $36 when I bought it, now it's $19.)

Now I don't use any TP or baby wipes. I drop a load, then rinse off. And no matter how much Mexican I consume, this baby takes care of it all. And on those days where I'm dehydrated and stoppered? Just pull your cheeks apart and relax, and you'll get a little help in getting it all out.

Best household purchase in my life.

DO IT!!! You won't regret it (after the first week). It is an 'odd concept' at first... Just something that we generally seem to shy away from in the US. And since it's not been part of our process since the go, when we were first learning it, it seems too foreign to most adults now.

In speaking with my international friends about it, they've admitted feeling that it is 'gross' that we don't have them in the US - generally just viewing it as a "yeah, duh - having one is better than not having one, but if you don't understand basic hygiene, we're not here to make you feel bad about it". Then, when we traveled in Europe a couple of years back, they were everywhere - it was just a normal part of the whole process... "Has to be something to this, right?"

I'd largely forgotten about it, assuming that the upgrade would require the whole toilet to be replaced and so therefore too costly... Then during a recent business trip north, I visited an associates house which had an upgrade similar to this installed - so I had to ask for his input... Glowing recommendations from him and his wife - "worth every penny and it will actually pay for itself when you consider TP usage"... Then just a short time later, I see them popping up for ~$30 on Amazon, so I figured I could gamble $30 on a trial.

I can't imagine going back now... Aside from the hygienics of it all, there is a huge change in TP consumption. We're estimating a 2/3 reduction going forward, which is pretty awesome. I know it seems a silly thing to be enthusiastic about, but I feel as if I'd been living willfully ignorant to the reality of how we go about this process in the US - and that I've now had the blinders removed from my eyes.

I have had this one for a year or two and am happy with it. You should stop considering and just do it you won't regret it.

You could pay less for one without hot water, but cold water is pretty cold (especially in the morning). Cold water in the winter feels freezing. Cold water on your asshole in winter is a nightmare. An extra $25 for ass freezing protection is well worth the cost. There's an added bonus of your sink water being warm right away as well if you have a slower water heater like I do.

1. Talk to a therapist about this. This is some thing that could be helped with the right person to talk to.
   
   
2. You need to eat. You're hurting yourself to avoid your period. This isnt okay.
   
   
3. Look into birth control to eliminate your period. I can personally attest that the Mirena IUD stopped my period (2 years strong, only light spotting at the first 2 months). I've also read about BC pills that can reduce/eliminate your period. A doctor is a good place to start for help with all of this. Note: IDK how old you are or what country you're from, but in my opinion if you're old enough to have a period you're old enough to use birth control. I hope this is accessible to you.
   
   
4. If its touching the blood, look into using tampons and getting a bidet ( https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_MrGRCb6X5PXPM ). This washes off your private-bits after you go or have your period and you just pat dry when done. No need to touch a lot of blood. Talk to a doctor or gyno on how to use tampons. Here is also a pretty good guide https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/health-and-wellness/menstruation/how-do-i-use-tampons-pads-and-menstrual-cups .
   
   Bottom line is you need to eat. Talk to someone about how you're feeling and about accessing these supports until you've dealt with the psychological root of your menophobia.

When that happened to me I would do the following:

• I would use my Bidet to clean after each stool.
  
• I would sit in a SITZ bath for about 30 minutes, twice a day. Use Epsom Salts with your SITZ bath
  
• I would use Hygienic Cleansing Lotion after each stool and each SITZ bath
  
• Use a stool softener
  
  In about 1 week you will be partially healed. DO NOT have anal sex yet. Drink half your body weight in ounces in water each day. This is important to keep your poo soft. Eat raisin bran cereal. Eat oatmeal. Eat anything with fiber. You will need at least 30 grams of fiber a day. This is to help keep your poo soft enough to pass through your fissure (Tear).
  
  In about 3 weeks or so you will be fully healed. Please, keep up the routine of fiber each day. Drink plenty of water each day. And for the love of GOD, use Lube. Use lots of LUBE!

Hello, sorry to hijack your comment but I have a question for you as someone who works in a hotel if you don't mind. I will be staying in a hotel for 4 months (paid by my employer) while I finish the job training. I use a toilet bidet like This one in my house, and I honestly feel like I can't live without it. Would something like this be allowed in my hotel room? There is no plumbing that needs to be done, the bidet connects directly to the toilet pipe and it's very easy to install. Again sorry for the off topic question but I really don't know where to ask this.

> Luxe Bidet Neo 185

I thought that sounded familiar, but it didn't look quite right. Turns out I got the Neo 320, with hot and cold water.

After using it for a while, you get used just the cold water stream. But sometimes, going for a warmer wash is nice and pleasant. I've had it for nearly 2 years now, still glad I got it.

I've bought a few of these over the years and they are worth every penny! Your burning butt hole will thank you. Had some people laugh but later came to me and said they bought one too and love it. Haha! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003TPGPUW/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_9QeNwbV0WBVEP

Yes just do the Amazon search and you'll see a few models that are all highly rated. I got this one for $35 because it was the highest rated and had the most reviews (and has the cleaning function). I honestly can't tell what the difference is between the other models besides a few basic functionalities. The one i got works perfectly and is a great price.

Well, some workplaces have toilet seat bidets like the "washlet". But yes you can bring your own to work- http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001BYV3J6?pc_redir=1411944218&robot_redir=1

After a long hard poop, it's nice to have a warm, oscillating, adjustable pressure underbutt fountain gently massage the shit away!

Bidets are way better and have a lot of benefits. For your case, no more endless wipes. PM, i'll be more than happy to give you a discount on my Bidet. I have a lot of respect for you as a young adult that values finding a solution concerning his health.

This is a subreddit about bidets, an alternative where you get sprayed with a little water (from the wall) instead of wiping with toilet paper. From what I've read, they do a better job of cleaning you without needing nearly as much toilet paper (just one or two squares to pat dry). They're better for the environment and save money over time. You can get them as an attachment add-on for around $30 on Amazon. They're easy to install, they don't require electricity, and there are some models that let you control the temperature (provided your toilet is near your sink; mine is not).

It just seemed like it might be worth a try, but because I just set it up today, mine still needs a little bit of fine tuning to really work right.

I'm just trying something new (to me), kind of like how I recently started double edge shaving after using cartridges for so long (again: lower cost, does a better job, and better for the environment).

These are the two I have.

Plain cold water one. Great first bidet, doesn't need power or to be near sink for hot water. Cheap.

Hot and cold water. Toilet needs to be near sink, I had to drill a small hole in cabinet to put hot water line from bidet to sink.


My dream bidet. Dries your ass, night light, user profile settings and more lol

Invest in the things you do daily! Love my bidets and good mattresses. Big quality of life improvements .

I actually have one that I ordered on amazon (this, or something like it, for anyone who's interested) and it's pretty great. It attaches to the same water that fills the toilet tank, so it's a pretty easy install, less than an hour. But it can't travel with me!!

Nice to know, but honestly? I find most medical stuff humiliating to begin with. Would rather shower before calling in docs and whatnot, if at all possible.

I don't even wear scent before going to see a doc, never know who might have an allergy. Not that I wear much to begin with. (two spritzes of a "body spray" called Moonlight Path... I'm not big on the whole "douse self in oil of roses" thing)

AND THANK GOD FOR MY BIDET, SERIOUSLY. Everyone should have one of these things, they are amazing.

(that's not the one I have, mine's metal. Close enough for rock and roll)

Pretty sure he answered the questions with every bathroom has a sink right? Maybe he just uses water on his hand and wipe his butt until he knows it's clean? To be honest he should just get a bidet. http://www.amazon.com/MB110-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Toilet-Attachment/dp/B001KKRCFA

Haven't bought yet but that seems to be the best rated and most popular on Amazon. In the end they're all designed to shoot water at your ass so the only really difference in most is the dial lol.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_u6HoDbSTZHPMV

i got a bidet attachment from amazon about a year ago, and it has been the best $30 i've spent. this one is super easy to install and very affordable:

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=bidet&qid=1556635315&s=gateway&sr=8-3

Pro tip:

To prevent Poseidon's Kiss, grab a lil handful of toilet paper and lay it in the water (in the "target area"), before you go. Paper gives a nice little "landing pad", if you will, and your butt will stay dry.

Also, I just got a bidet and it's the best fucking thing in the world. America is waaay behind on this. I got this one:
https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-320-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RX2UI/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=bidet&qid=1565294427&s=grocery&sr=1-5-catcorr

it was easy to install and keeps you feeling sooo clean. Also need to use paper only to dry yourself. That way I don't feel so wasteful to drop a few squares in the potty before I go #2.

^sorry ^for ^the ^tmi!

Make some time for yourself. Plenty of time. Get a bottle of lube and a smaller size dildo. (Not a hard vibrator) cover your bed with towels. Slowly start to play with yourself. Find what feels good. Keep a slow pace. Remember that your exploring. After sometime, your going to feel a warm comfort come over you. Your going to want to speed up. Go into the shower and continue picking up the pace. It might get messy. (I suggest buying bidet)you can use it before, during and after. You will feel an orgasm build. It will be like no other. Don't force it. If you get there, congratulations. If you don't, try again in a couple of days. Once you get more comfortable with your body, start involving your wife again.

Not quite 20, but have 2 of these. Work great, wife and I both love it, going into year 3.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RHSJO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Yes! These are very easy to put on and removed.

I linked the one I have in the comments earlier, but I forgot about this one my friend purchased which is exactly the same as the one I use but with a different brand name and half the price. Works wonderful.

My main recommendation when looking for one is making sure there is a knob to adjust the pressure (basically all of them have this it is how you turn them on) and a little switch or knob to adjust the water angle.

I have a $30 one and I love it. Something like this. All it uses is the clean cold water incoming to the toilet and use it to spray you clean. It doesn't have any electronics like these fancy ones.

$60, they have some cheaper models but I highly recommend the one with hot water attachment, it's only $10 or 15 more and so worth it. Also the one like this with the lever water adjust instead of dial, it's better at adjusting pressure.

I have this one in both our toilets:

Luxe Bidet Neo 320 - Self Cleaning Dual Nozzle - Hot and Cold Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RX2UI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_6T03BbKZX2T17

I bought a bidet attachment on Amazon a few years ago and it was actually pretty great. It was a pretty simple installation process and I believe the cost was $40 or less.

Edit: Found a link for you.

Or you could just save the money of buying a WHOLE OTHER TOILET and with install and new piping... and buy a toilet accessory that washes your booty without having to get off the toilet move to another toilet, wash and move back to wipe dry... I bought this http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001KKRCFA/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1 works like a charm and I love it. Took me ten minutes to install and yes there is nothing like a clean behind... the wiping consists of a pat dry. and it is just so much cleaner

Just going to go ahead and post this link for anyone who is interested. Super simple model for like $24. I have this one and it's 100% worth it. Trust.

https://smile.amazon.com/Bidet-MB110-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment/dp/B001KKRCFA/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1542127963&sr=8-3&keywords=bidet+mb110

Since colorectal cancer is on the rise, and earlier in today's sub someone mentioned bidet attachments for their toilet -- I think we should take a moment to appreciate this review of the top selling bidet attachment on Amazon:

>Speaking as a hirsute gentleman, the Luxe Bidet Neo 120 has soured me on pooping in bidet-less toilets forever. It's shown me the difference between rubbing peanut butter out of shag carpeting with a paper towel, and that sparkling clean feeling you get right when you step out of the shower.

>The unit took me all of about 10 minutes to install on my existing toilet with only a wrench. The easy-to-control flow valve allows you to provide just the right amount of water pressure for a full range of cleaning, from "gentle trickling stream" to "full-on 'Silkwood' decontamination", ensuring the end of your bowel movement leaves you feeling cleaner and more refreshed than using just toilet paper alone. Even flush-able wet wipes pale in comparison.

I hope to report back on the state of my rectal health shortly after a few weeks of use. Hemorrhoids be damned!

I got this one because I liked the idea of a lever you lift up. Makes pooping so much nicer! And 1/20th the toilet paper I used to use.

I gave one as a gift to a lady friend and she says it's great for her monthlies. Who knew.

There are also portable ones such as this! I do recommend it, it's feels great, leaves you feeling great, and probably cleaner too..

Yeah, Toto Washlets are the shit. But if you don't want to spend that much money, for like $40 you can get a very effective alternative.

It'll change your life. Highly recommended for anyone with an asshole.

Neo lux on Amazon. Pretty easy install. No warm water option, but I'm it's not necessary. Extra spacers are needed for the toilet seat, it they didn't work too well with the slow closing like, but otherwise it's nice.

It gets a little finicky to clean, but I'm a bit of a neat freak.

https://smile.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=neo+luxe+bidet&qid=1558519510&s=gateway&sprefix=neo+lu&sr=8-3

Have you used toys before?

You really should use toys first. Get used to it. And get a good lube. I really like Lulu lube.

Oh, and get a bidet. You can get one from Amazon for ~$50. Trust me. It makes things much cleaner and takes much less effort than any other prep methods, like an enema. Installing the bidet takes 15 minutes or less, and it makes it possible to do both pre and post cleanup within two minutes, and it makes it possible to do things spur-of-the-moment, rather than requiring planning.

lol well I'm sure there are ones that run into the hundreds. But the little bolt on ones like this are inexpensive. That one is similar to the one I have and it works great.

Here is one, check out others like it. These washlets are amazing. Brondell Bidet - Thinline SimpleSpa SS-150 | Fresh Water Spray | Non-Electric | Bidet Toilet Attachment in White with Self Cleaning Nozzle | SafeCore Internal Valve | Nozzle Guard | Easy to Install https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075MMHQX7/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_NYlSAbDWDE64M

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00A0RHSJO/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1519144406&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=bidet

) saves you on TP too. Also super hygienic, better for your septic tank/sewer system. Easy install.

Yes absolutely, you can install a bidet on a toilet.

There are two types of "after-market" bidets. The main kind looks like this:

http://www.amazon.com/LUXE-Bidet-Vi-110-Non-Electric-Mechanical/dp/B005IT4C6G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381937146&sr=8-1&keywords=bidet

These are great because they are automated for the most part, you just turn it on and adjust the pressure with the dial next to you.

The second type is actually called a douchette, or handheld bidet and looks like this:

http://www.amazon.com/Brondell-CSL-40-CleanSpa-Shattaf-Sprayer/dp/B00BEBFV08/ref=pd_sim_hi_7

I have a friend that installed this kind and likes it, but I prefer the first kind, because I don't have to hold it with my hand.

Nah, you can get bolt-ons for like $30 on Amazon. And they work great -- I love mine.

Correction -- $22!

Yeah, it was pretty cheap for the one I got. This is the one I bought from Amazon. I can't give a review for it as I still haven't installed it yet, but installation seemed like it should be pretty straightforward. There are a bunch of different ones for sale on Amazon though.

So the ultimate splurge would be the toto neorest with elongated bowl. Alas, that’s too bougie for my budget I settle for the bidet attachment from amazon. This this super economical one is a greater starter bidet. The tushy brand is a little nicer option as well.

The Luxe bidet is easy to install and comes with everything you need inside the box at $36 via amazon:

Luxe Bidet Neo 120

I like the knob rather than the more common "dials" which seem harder to twist. Good luck!

$35 an Amazon for a Luxe Bidet Neo 120. I bought three of these (actually two of the 180s, and one 185), one for each bathroom and couldn't be happier. The higher models offer dual sprayers (one sprays further forward), and different controls. Taps into the clean water line going to the tank so it is super easy to install. I recommend 1000%.

A while back I bought a bidet attachment for my toilet (only $35, including shipping from Amazon), and it works flawlessly, so as a result, they're all no wipe shits for me. A nice bonus was that when I recently fucked up my wiping hand, I didn't have to attempt to wipe with my other hand since I had the bidet to take care of everything. I'll never go back to wiping now that I've seen the light :)

On mobile and too lazy to format for a shorter link, but here you go!

Best $35 I’ve ever spent. This one comes with everything you need to install as well, so even if you don’t have any tools at all, you can still install it easily.


https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=asc_df_B00A0RHSJO/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167148575413&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=10510592816483862097&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9006810&hvtargid=pla-274847307778&psc=1

Try a bidet. I was skeptical, but after trying it, I love it. It gets you much cleaner and is good for hemorrhoids too. Just use a bit of toilet paper to dry yourself. This is the one we got and it works great.

https://i.imgur.com/PEOfvH0.jpg

Get one. It will absolutely change your life. Best $40 I've ever spent.
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 (Elite Series) - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment w/ Strong Faucet Valves and Metal Hoses https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_FiWbub1FQP5FM

oh I was talking about one of those seat attachment sprays. I grew up where hand held sprays are common in every toilet and was uncomfortable when I first moved to the US.

Cheap one I use does not have heated water, but I can tell you that the butt hole is not actually that sensitive to cold water. I have now used it through 2 winters. This is the best and cheapest life improvement you can add to your life right now.

$40

not quite the same but pretty awesome

My FH and I are both on the Charmin bandwagon but we differ on whether we get Ultra Soft or Ultra Strong. But I'm usually shopping so we get Ultra Soft.

BUT I think everyone here is missing something that my FH introduced me to. A bidet!

It's seriously the best thing ever. Your toosh will thank you. And you'll use less of whichever TP you are buying.

Brondell Bidet - Thinline SimpleSpa SS-150 | Fresh Water Spray | Non-Electric | Bidet Toilet Attachment in White with Self Cleaning Nozzle | SafeCore Internal Valve | Nozzle Guard | Easy to Install https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075MMHQX7/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_prN2BbKK399N6

Simple, sleek and super high quality parts from a reputable company. Old bidet which cost a little more lasted 3 months, got 2 of these and they’ve been going solid for 7 months.

$35 Bidet from Amazon, best anniversary gift lifesaver.

It's pretty regional. I'm sure I saw something about how in India/Pakistan they use a bucket and cup to clean up. I've lived in a place with these installed since before I can remember. Now we've got something like this. Obviously washing well afterwards.

I never thought I'd be discussing intimate hygiene with random people over the internet.

Less than $40 right now. Get it, you’ll love it! But, go very light on the pressure...i can’t imagine why anyone or how anyone would use the #10 setting, lol.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_RxZnDbNVJXDDB

Here you go! This is the exact one I have now (with the lady function). Mine does not pulsate like /u/Hellen_Lecter's but I still love it.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RMQ1E/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I obviously didn't install it (as mentioned in a previous comment), but even though my father complained it didn't take him long and I remember him saying it wasn't that difficult. With that being said if you don't know anything about plumbing like me you should probably ask someone who does for help lest you end up flooding your bathroom or breaking your toilet.

This is a great thread for discussion. If I may add...

1. Even better than a peri-bottle is a washlet. Basically an add-on bidet for a standard toilet. If you can get one that has HOT and COLD water, you will LOVE cleaning your bum with warm water. It chips away at pain quickly and dries without TP in a few minutes. Here is one on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Toilet-Attachment/dp/B003TPGPUW/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1394858584&sr=8-8&keywords=washlet
   
   
2. If you've got cash to spare, or if you want convenience while not at home, Toto sells a portable washlet that I've been tempted to buy. The description is misleading since you have to put warm water into it beforehand. http://www.amazon.com/Toto-HW300-W-Portable-Travel-Washlet/dp/B008O1G4LQ

Lol. The toilet attachment. Amazon sells them for like $25-$50 dollars. Here is the one I have. Works wonders: Luxe Bidet MB110 Fresh Water Spray Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001KKRCFA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_sUOMxbB6MB71X

Get a bidet :) toilet paper lasts for months. Best investment of my life.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_XswNDbD7MH89B

Just get a bidet attachment! Super cheap, no shower head unthreading needed. And you’ll always have a squeaky clean undercarriage!

Astor Bidet Fresh Water Spray Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment CB-1000 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003TPGPUW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_ycbTAbDRQRNFH

On amazon you can buy fantastic ones that attach onto your toilet! I have one and I love it.


http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B009ZLRSJ6/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?qid=1418265373&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX200_QL40


Not mine but similar!!! Really easy to install.

First

Second

I've been doing this my whole life and it is the best feeling in the world. Best sex too if you like ass play. You wont get any if you have carpet.

Get a bidet attachment for your toilet! We had one of these pre-pregnancy and it has been a huge lifesaver with all the pooping problems. I put it in bc my SO used to shower after every poop to feel clean, so I figured it would save water. Now I hate pooping in the other bathroom without the water to wash off after. It will change your life!!!



The one we got is like this, and I installed it myself: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01A9A9MUO/ref=mp_s_a_1_33?ie=UTF8&qid=1474147711&sr=8-33&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=bidet&dpPl=1&dpID=3133aRXnSnL&ref=plSrch

I was actually looking at picking up something like this, it's small, fits right under your toilet seat, looks easy to use and easy to install... I'm sure we'd get used to the cold water in no time. :)

Fyi, you can get a bidet cover for a toilet for less than $100, and they have pretty good reviews
$330 TOTO SW2024#01 A200 WASHLET Electronic Bidet Tolet Seat with SoftClose Lid. Elongated, Cotton White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0165UFOOA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_mJn6AbP3940TV

$35 Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_CJn6AbAR9M0K6

We have this one: https://www.amazon.com/Brondell-Bidet-SimpleSpa-Non-Electric-Attachment/dp/B075MMHQX7/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=bidet&qid=1565981201&s=gateway&sr=8-4

​

It's a cold-water-only one, but it works perfect, and is so much better.

And on a similar note, a bidet attachment for your toilet. They're like $40 and super easy to install. (Don't bother with a hot water one, it really doesn't matter). I have this one. Seriously game-changing.

Look no further.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_C9MQybPPGYTH7

Bonus quote from reviews:

"Speaking as a hirsute gentleman, the Luxe Bidet Neo 120 has soured me on pooping in bidet-less toilets forever. It's shown me the difference between rubbing peanut butter out of shag carpeting with a paper towel, and that sparkling clean feeling you get right when you step out of the shower."

Get a bidet. I no longer need wet wipes, and I barely even need toilet paper. There's almost NOTHING artificial to flush. All that's left to do after bidet-ing is to gently dry off. It's been mind blowing and life changing. My fellow Americans are so barbaric. haha. Bidet attachments like this one are inexpensive. They are powered by the clean water going into the toilet tank (does not need electricity). This one took only 15 minutes to install. Do it. Get one. You will thank me!!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00JG2DETM/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

15 minutes to install with hand tools. no permanent modifications. i have it installed on both of my toilets. it leaked on the second toilet, but it wasn't due to a faulty product. i replaced the toilets fill valve assembly and everything was fine after that. the fill valve assembly was only a few bucks and isn't a bad idea to change out anyways. that took a few minutes. overall, i'm extremely happy with them.

I have a toto now. but I think I had a coco before and sold it to a friend when I moved. They sell one's on amazon for like $17 no heat though no electric.

https://www.amazon.com/Greenco-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Toilet-Attachment/dp/B01A17T3N6/ref=sr_1_7?keywords=bidet&qid=1574316114&sr=8-7

Both electric bidets have lasted 8 years now I think. So it is kind of worth the price. Think ahead and realize you might need to buy an extension cord for it.

They are so easy after installing, I think they would be great for older or handicapped people, or if you are a bodybuilder, or have IBS.

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO I got this one. It's got a pretty intense spray, so I had to also get a valve thingy to control it better so I didn't give myself an enema every poop, but I like it now lol.

Bidets! I have this one and it is one of my best purchases of all time. Now I hate pooping anywhere but home.

There are other kinds too. When I was visiting Portugal they often had these bidets that were kind of a mix of a toilet and a sink, and I think you were supposed to run the water and wipe off with your hand... I never used it, but eventually the concept won me over.

Edit: amazon link if you're interested.

Don't forget the energy costs of manufacture and transportation. It takes 17.3 terawatts of energy to manufacture and transport toilet paper per year. That's a huge carbon footprint.

If you're concerned about the ecological impact of TP, I highly recommend a bidet attachment for your toilet like this:

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1541959341&sr=8-3&keywords=bidet+attachment+for+toilet&dpID=419LXSZM6YL&preST=_SX300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

You will use significantly less toilet paper, maybe even eschewing it entirely.

Yep, one of these: Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_bG-pxbS22AFDZ

Works great!

They are the best and you're missing out! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDMo2ncT2D4

For the uninitiated, bidets are super cheap now and easy to install. http://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Toilet-Attachment/dp/B003TPGPUW/

a few months back, i installed a bidet, this model, on my shitter at home.

it's a little hard to "aim" at first, but i can't tell you how much i recommend this over regular old tp/butt wipes. i never realized how nice it was having a confidently clean butthole.

Jeez you guys are lazy. Just go to Amazon and type "bidet" ha.

Having said that, this is the one that I bought. It works perfectly and is one of the best purchases I've ever made.

Yes!

I've got a handheld one, it's awesome! Shower fresh after every poop!

This is the one I got.
https://www.amazon.com/RinseWorks-Patented-Certified-Warranty-Extension/dp/B01CF51ZJ2/

Bidet is the way to go! A few years ago this one was recommended somewhere on reddit, I bought it and love it (as a mom to a crohnie).

I have an older Consumer Reports on toilet tissue, I don't like Scott 1000 or Angel Soft (or Costco's version of it). I settled on Target's Premium Ultra Soft (or Ultra Strong, I couldn't really tell a difference) that was listed on my report as in the top 5 for dissolving/fewer clogs.

Finally, we also updated our (25 year old) toilets to American Standard Cadet 3 FloWise Tall Height 2-Piece 1.28 GPF Single Flush and haven't had a single clog yet in three years.

I've owned a couple by this brand - I disagree. These ones are a pain to clean and have parts that wear out much faster. They're also more prone to leaks due to the cheap plastic and gaskets they use internally.

This is the best one I've found thus far. It's not as "sit, shit, and forget" as the underseat ones, but in terms of cleaning and utility it's much better. Aesthetically it looks nicer, too.

https://www.amazon.com/RinseWorks-Patented-Certified-Warranty-Extension/dp/B01CF51ZJ2/

A bidet might help. You can get a good one that's easy to install for less than $35. Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment

Dude, no joke get a Bidet. I saw a post about it a few months ago. So I decided to give it a try. They suggested a Bidet from Amazon. It was easy to set up. I love it! My whole family now uses a Bidet. It has changed my whole bathroom experience. Here is the Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001KKRCFA?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00

There are bidet attachments that don't involve replumbing... I have one in my rental and it is a GODSEND. I have IB*D* and lots of tender downstairs issues and it has helped with all of them. Be sure to get one that has a warm water option if you don't like pure cold water.

This is the one I have:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00JG3NVG2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

It’s a fancy one, yeah. Heated water, blow dryer etc. It ran me about $300. I have another one upstairs which was $25 and has no frills, but works just as well. Here’s one like it:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003TPGPUW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_3SlQCb9WG3S2P

IMO it’s better than a hose because your hands are completely out of the way.

You can get them for super cheap on amazon. This one that I have is 30 bucks and it works great. https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-110-Non-Electric/dp/B009ZLRSJ6/ref=sr_1_17?s=kitchen-bath&ie=UTF8&qid=1492278460&sr=1-17&keywords=bidet

I have a 3 Boss Bidet's installed and I love them! They're non electric, install in 15 minutes and the best price I could find for a dual nozzle (Don't get a single and hot & cold is pointless in America because of the installation process).

The answer is so simple, bidet attachment for toilet

The best $35 you can spend. Treat yo self!

Get a bidet! I highly recommend one, makes everything sparkly clean, and helps toilet paper purchases go further.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bide... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_8ItEzb3V8KM6Y

The attachable bidet. Here's the one I bought from Amazon. They have other models, but this is their basic model that's perfect for most anyone.

Their other models have things like a second tube for a different angle, designed for vaginal cleaning.

https://www.amazon.ca/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-110-Non-Electric/dp/B009ZLRSJ6/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?keywords=bidet&qid=1571364701&sr=8-4

you guys need to get the "Attachable Bidet" for your toilets....works like a dream....i have something similar to the link below

https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00A0RX2UI/tramprevie101-20



last but not least this product talks about the benefits of squatting and pooping....and the west makes fun of our Indian toilets...hahahaha

https://www.squattypotty.com/5-problems-with-sitting-on-your-toilet/

https://www.squattypotty.com/press/

Wife and I got one of these and she loves it. Always up for butt play now.

Greenco Bidet Fresh Water Spray Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01A17T3N6/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_tai_3VmIybDZ96T0T

I had a bidet growing up and up until 2 years ago when I moved out. I had this baby ordered and installed before the 1st week of living on my own was over. It's such a clean asslife I live and pretty sweet on the wallet.

http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-MB110-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment/dp/B001KKRCFA/ref=pd_sxp_f_pt/180-8407977-2964342

My husband is a convert.

I just use a washcloth to dry with and let it dry for next time. It's just water but still I wouldn't want to clean my face with it afterwards.

$36.14 & FREE Shipping at Amazon.com. They are easy to install too.

http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-MB110-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment/dp/B001KKRCFA/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1412130966&sr=8-3&keywords=washlet

We have ALL had this happen, please don't feel alone, or desperate. I can say that bidets are LIFE changing. They also really help with irritation. Here's one that you just attach to your existing toilet seat, and costs about $25. Brondell is a great brand, too (they make the super upscale ones, too). It gives you exactly the same effect as a shower, only without having to shower, and only works where you need it to work. (Also, if you feel like there's a little "left over," all you have to do is sit on the toilet and turn the bidet on!) https://www.amazon.com/Brondell-Bidet-SimpleSpa-Non-Electric-Attachment/dp/B075MMHQX7/ref=pd_cp_60_2?pd_rd_w=AASfp&pf_rd_p=ef4dc990-a9ca-4945-ae0b-f8d549198ed6&pf_rd_r=00E2J3KRWWYVEH6XGC8Y&pd_rd_r=e37b109c-a2c9-11e9-a9ae-270e3ef58a57&pd_rd_wg=2kBOB&pd_rd_i=B075MMHQX7&psc=1&refRID=00E2J3KRWWYVEH6XGC8Y

Yup yup.

Here is a link to something that might help with your bung situation. I've had one for a couple of years (using it as I type) and it was a life changing purchase for me. They also have cheaper models with fewer bells and whistles. Super easy to install.

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_4?s=kitchen-bath&ie=UTF8&qid=1504204134&sr=1-4&keywords=bidet

Just goes on under the toilet seat and you hook it up to your water. Pretty simple. This is the one I own and it's fantastic 10/10 clean butt hole.

Bidets are awesome, and so cheap! I have this one. Game changer is absolutely the term. The amount of TP you save will allow this to pay for itself in the first year.

Couple bucks more and you can get a decent under - seat attachment bidet and not have to worry about hand aiming a hose.


Brondell Bidet - Thinline SimpleSpa SS-150 Fresh Water Spray Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Attachment in White with Self Cleaning Nozzle and SafeCore Internal Valve https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075MMHQX7/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_X1ZSDbT3Q7DMT



I'm about to jump off reddit, which means I'm gonna be using mine in about 30 seconds here.

Rather than baby wipes, invest in a simple mechanical bidet. We've got this model and love it so much that we've given them as housewarming gifts and I've even installed them at my office so I don't have to poop like a savage during the workday...! Trust me - with the bidet, you're shower-fresh every single time, and you'll never want to go back to just toilet paper.

And you can help your husband get over the embarrassment with a little help from Parks & Rec...

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_pfr3AbKEA5BXC

Best $35 ive spent on Amazon. Pro tip, upgrade to the metal t valve.

I bought THIS ONE, (on sale now it seems for 32 bucks) Love it and I bought some for others who also love it.

Just be straightforward and honest after finding a calm, neutral time to bring it up.

I'm a big fan of coming pre-loaded with solutions whenever I confront a problem (at least to get the ball rolling), so maybe you could buy some flushable wipes (like baby wipes but not for babies) ahead of time and set them on the back of the toilet/otherwise nearby. Love those things.

Or try out a bidet toilet seat attachment...wistful sigh

Not OP, but I highly recommend the Luxe Bidet Neo 180 - Self Cleaning Dual Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment Blue for affordability and super-easy install.

Like this?: https://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment-CB-1000/dp/B003TPGPUW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505423996&sr=8-1&keywords=astor+bidet

If so, it's stupid easy and takes five minutes tops.

Hahaha. Nice! You still gotta use a little TP, but it's just basically for drying. This is the one we got, but I think a starter one like this probably works just fine.

Buy a bidet attachment for your toilet. No wipes to buy or clog your pipes, and you stay nice and clean. Best $40 ever.

Edit: [This] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FPYIK6M/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_1TRHzb04T8P8Y) is worth getting too to replace the plastic tee that comes with the bidet and give you better flow control.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RX2UI/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I actually never bothered to hook up the cold water, as I didn't bother to clip the hose for the hot, so the water pretty much just comes out cold and gradually warms up. Install was easy, aside from the fact that my toilet crammed in a corner.

For all those that do not have a bidet, it will change your life. It literally is the best $30 I've ever spent. There are many more that are more expensive but as far as entry level goes this one is great.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009ZLRSJ6

Go buy a bidet. Seriously one of the best $35-$50 you can spend. After a month, I ended up buying one for each bathroom, my parent's house, and even a couple of friends.

Buy this valve too, it helps with the install.

Although it’s not what you’re asking, you may not be aware that you can add a bidet to an existing toilet. This is a popular one, and it’s easy to install.

$30 comes in under budget.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (white and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JG2DETM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_JPVRDb7VT2296

Get a bidet toilet attachment from Amazon. I got one a few months ago and my butthole has never been happier. This is the one I got: http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-185-Non-Electric/dp/B00P2XZDGG

It can attach to almost any toilet and feels refreshing and awesome and you barely need to wipe at all after a good blast.

Luxe Bidet Neo 185 (Elite Series) - Self Cleaning Dual Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment w/Strong Faucet Valves and Metal Hoses (White and White) https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00P2XZIP2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_0ozIDbT7ZNYE5

I got this cause it has the feminine nozzle but you could get the same results with the 120 version and just lean forward a bit more !

If you get it make sure your water supply line to your toilet is one of the flexible hoses not the firm metal pipe. I had to make a trip to home depot to get a flexible one.

Super fancy expensive ones do. There are cheaper options out there that don't.

I use this one

https://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment-CB-1000/dp/B003TPGPUW

and it's totally adequate. It's been a great value for $25. It has plenty of pressure range and even in winter it's not too cold.

It doesn't require electricity and it connects right on to the existing plumbing with no specialized knowledge of plumbing.

http://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment-CB-1000/dp/B003TPGPUW

They all kind of work the same, but this is the one I have. It is placed under the back of the seat and attaches to the fresh water supply coming out of the wall. It's amazing.

The friends who were with me on vacation when it happened quickly ordered a bidet so none of us had to deal with becoming much better friends than we ever wanted to.

Its an attachment that fits on the toilet. Amazing.
Seriously. It is amazing.

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_5?s=kitchen-bath&ie=UTF8&qid=1474941947&sr=1-5&keywords=bidet+attachment

This is the one I got two years ago, changed my life for the better. Would you clean poo of your arm with a piece of dry paper, or would you use water?

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_NTItDb8978CQ6