Wooooo okay! Here's 1-20, and I will give the bonus ones a go in just a few minutes! fear cuts deeper than swords

1.) Something that is grey. How about a knife set?!

2.) Something reminiscent of rain. Cinema Paradiso! The cover of it is two people in the rain :) (Movies wishlist)

3.) Something food related that is unusual. This Manatea infuser is unusual! (Default wishlist)

4.) Something on your list that is for someone other than yourself. Tell me who it's for and why. (Yes, pets count!) I have a pet wishlist and a wishlist for my best friend! This traveling litter box is the perfect combination--it's so I can take my kitty on trips to my best friend's place! (Kitty wishlist)

5.) A book I should read! I am an avid reader, so take your best shot and tell me why I need to read it! Why have just one book when you could have 3000?! This little usb is loaded with over 3000 classic novels. Yes, almost all of these novels are free on Project Gutenberg, but having them all in one spot ready for you to peruse is amazing. You're almost guaranteed to find a book worth reading that you haven't read yet! (Books wishlist)

6.) An item that is less than a dollar, including shipping... that is not jewelry, nail polish, and or hair related! Well, not a physical item, but I have an mp3! (Music wishlist)

7.) Something related to cats. I love cats! (keep this SFW, you know who you are...) Kitty nail caps! I have a sphynx, so I have to clip her nails roughly every week (otherwise when she scratches herself, she cuts herself up D:). Nail caps are a cute and more hassle-free way of dealing with her claws! (Kitty wishlist)

8.) Something that is not useful, but so beautiful you must have it. This one is pretty tough for me, actually--I love purposeful items! However, I already have a cheese grater, so this hedgehog shaped one isn't actually something I NEED--it's just so cool!! (Default wishlist)

9.) A movie everyone should watch at least once in their life. Why? Life is Beautiful. It's a sweet, touching, and heartbreaking story of a Jewish father trying to keep the joy in life in a concentration camp. It's laugh-out-loud funny, and so sad you'll cry. Definitely worth watching. (Movies wishlist)

10.) Something that would be useful when the zombies attack. Explain. Packaged, high-cal foods will be really helpful! You have to keep your energy up while you're on the run, and you need a portable snack! These cookies are sure to give you the extra boost you need to escape the zombies. (Default wishlist)

11.) Something that would have a profound impact on your life and help you to achieve your current goals. Hmmm this is a toss-up for me. I need a laptop for life. I have a little chromebook, but when I need to update my resumes and write cover letters, I need to go to the library to use an actual computer to make sure the formatting is right. A laptop would help with the job hunt and (hopefully) help land me a job! (Expensive things wishlist) My other goal, to become healthier, would be helped by wrist weights to wear during my runs! No, it's not a huge amount of weight, but it will make my runs that much more difficult and help tone my arms! It's a small change with a big impact :) (Default wishlist)

12.) One of those pesky Add-On items. Oh gosh, take your pick. Cat snuggie (kitty wishlist), sriracha (who doesn't love hot sauce?! Under $6 wishlist), a pumice stone (Under $6 wishlist), or a kitty laser toy! (kitty wishlist)

13.) The most expensive thing on your list. Your dream item. Why? A $500 keyboard. I love playing piano, but I'm a young and flighty thing--I fully expect to be moving around a lot for the next 5-10 years, and I can neither afford an actual piano, nor can I imagine transporting one in and out of various apartments. This keyboard will give me the chance to practice and enjoy playing, but it's a much more compact and liveable way of doing so. (Expensive things wishlist)

14.) Something bigger than a bread box. A relatively cheap and yet still nice vacuum cleaner! Nice, easy to use, and practical :) (Expensive things)

15.) Something smaller than a golf ball. A storm trooper USB! Cute and practical! (Default wishlist)

16.) Something that smells wonderful. Lavender chamomile bubble bath! I don't know about you, but few things smell more relaxing to me than lavender and chamomile, so a combo bubble bath just sounds like bliss to me. (Default wishlist)

17.) A (SFW) toy. Here's a whole bag of toys! And less than $10 too! My kitty would have a field day with all those toys :) (Kitty wishlist!)

18.) Something that would be helpful for going back to school. A lunch box! I always brought my lunch to school, so every year I got a cool new lunch box for that year :) These ones are super cute, and insulated! (Default wishlist)

19.) Something related to your current obsession, whatever that may be. I've had a life-long Disney obsession! (Movies wishlist) My whole bathroom is Mickey themed (default wishlist), and I'm always looking for cool new Disney items to add to my wishlist! I seriously love Disney.

20.) Something that is just so amazing and awe-inspiring that I simply must see it. Explain why it is so grand. You too can own the Sword of Gryffindor! (Expensive things wishlist) Not only do you get to wield the weapon that destroyed three pieces of Voldemort's soul, it's also pretty practical! It's a letter opener that you can proudly display resting in the hands of a lion :) (Expensive things wishlist)

You can do it! And when you get even 1/4 of the way there, you'll feel like a different, healthier, more mobile person. It's amazing.

Enough motivational drivel. To your question, I'd first advise to not worry about cravings until you're through keto flu. It's hard enough to not eat carbs. Don't make it harder by trying to starve yourself as well. EAT. ENJOY SO MUCH BACON. This will not last long and will most likely reduce your lifespan less in this time than being overweight long-term will.

You will also probably have cheat days. Don't judge yourself for them. It was actually kind of eye-opening to go back and forth a bit and feel the difference in my health very tangibly.

My fave foods that I used in the beginning (and a few subsequent falls from grace) were:

Drinks:

I try to drink lots of water. Water gets really boring. Unfortunately, most of the sugar-ish drinks you find have artificial sweeteners in them. I know that these sweeteners aren't great, but I don't think they're as terrible as some folks believe. I drink them anyway, but I try to minimize my intake.

• SodaStream - This bastard is indispensible for me. I use it all the time, but I love drinking plain seltzer. You can also add...
  
  
• Sugar Free Syrup or Sugar Free Lemonade - When I do get a bad craving for a sweet drink, these are my favorites. You can add the lemonade powder to regular water. The soda...not so much.
  
  
• Coke Zero - Again, I try to limit these, but they're a solid replacement for Coke.
  
  
• Coffee & Tea - It's coffee tea. By this point in your life, you probably know if it's your thing or not, so if you like it, drink a lot more now. Just use heavy whipping cream or half and half as a creamer, as milk has a lot of sugar. Adding stevia is...okay. I usually just drink it black.
  
  Meals & Snacks:
  
  
• FatHead Crackers/Nachos - Crikey these are good. I would eat these when not on keto. They're good alone, dipped in salsa, baked with nacho toppings (shredded chicken, black olives, guacamole). Top them with pepperoni and cheese to make little mini pizza-crackers. Or you could have...
  
  
• FatHead Pizza - This is also worthy of a crikey. The crust doesn't taste exactly like bread per se, but it's fantastic. Top however you would a pizza. Make your own sauce, as a lot of the store bought brands have too much sugar.
  
  
• Pizza Sauce - This is a simple sauce that tastes pretty good. It's fairly easy to modify ratios and tweak ingredients to match your tastes.
  
  
• Low Carb Tortillas - I generally can't taste the difference because mine are filled with delicious taco fixins.
  
  
• Cookies - Cookies. Nuff said.
  
  
• Pork rind crusted chicken nuggets - These are legit. I was doubtful of the breading, but I was pleased in the end.
  
  
• Weird, not-ramen replacement - I love ramen almost as much as I love my children. To replace it, I make this abomination. I don't really measure, but I'll give rough estimates. Also, please don't judge me.
  
  
  • Asparagus stir fry - An entire bag is 10.5 carbs. I usually eat half.
    
  • 2 eggs
    
  • 2T Peanut butter
    
  • 1T Soy sauce
    
  • 1 - 2T Heavy whipping cream (or more to achieve desired consistency or nutrient content)
    
  • 1/2 - 1t chicken bouillon
    
  • 1/4t - 1/2t Onion Powder - I'm guessing wildly at this amount. I just shake it a few times
    
  • 1/4t - 1/2t Garlic powder - Same as above
    
  • A few shakes of Fish sauce
    
    

1. Add frozen veggies to water and turn on stove, set eggs aside.
   
   
2. Mix remaining ingredients in a bowl
   
   
3. When water boils, add eggs and poach to desired consistency (boiling for 3 min gets you soft-medium boiled consistency)
   
   
4. Carefully drain the water from the pan without busting the eggs. You don't have to get all of the water, as it can add
   
   
5. Pour veggies and eggs into the bowl and mix with the sauce.
   
   Misc:
   
   

• Bob's Red Mill - God bless Bob. He should be a patron saint of keto. He has all the flours. See below.
  
  
• Bob's almond flour, Bob's coconut flour. This is basically all you need. No Hindu crickets required. You can get fancy later when you're feeling better and want to branch out.
  
  
• Pork rinds - They're weird and taste like I imagine a football would, or...a piece of rawhide. But I use these for breading sometimes (they're surprisingly good when soaked in delicious avocado or coconut oil). I also occasionally eat these to make my craving for chips, or rather, entire appetite go away.
  
  
• Avocado - The best fruit/berry ever. They're good by themselves. You can also make delicious ice cream with them. And of course, there's guacamole for the FatHead Crackers/Nachos above.
  
  Okay. I'm tired now and have to work tomorrow. I'll try to come back and add more useful things. Good luck!
  
  Edit: Links & formatting. Also, In my tired state, I almost forgot to add fat bombs. Look up lots of recipes. It's a huge help to be able to eat delicious chocolatey, doughy things.

A few years ago a co-worker of mine turned me on to hot chocolate + peppermint schnapps, and every year around that time I start craving that a bit! I've been doing keto for the majority of the past couple years (3 years this coming March), and somehow it never occured to me to add peppermint extract to my hot chocolate for that taste. I'll probably mess around with this recipe, but I thought y'all might appreciate this! :)

I used almond milk, which is the opposite of creamy, but also added an unexpected ingredient : egg yolk! Tempering this into the chocolate definitely changed the mouthfeel for the better. I got the idea from a Viennese Hot Chocolate recipe I found.

Ingredients (for one 12oz cup)

12oz Milk (I used Almond for less carbs)

3 tsp Unsweetened Cocoa Powder (if you can get it I definitely recommend the Lake Champlain Chocolate I used - it was really good, and the company is as well!)

1 Egg Yolk

1/2 tsp of Peppermint Extract

1/4 tsp of Vanilla Extract

(Optional) 1 tbsp Chocolate Chips, or equivalent solid chocolate

(Optional) Any other aromatics of your choce: a cinnamon stick in the milk as it boils would be a nice addition!

Tools

1 Saucepan or Pot

A Wisk

Your favorite mug

Instructions

1. Assemble your ingredients! This is way easier when you have everything ready to go! :)
   
2. Begin warming the milk in a small saucepan on medium. This is a good point to add your extracts and any aromatics! You should expect to begin working with the milk prior to boiling. YOU DO NOT WANT THE MILK TO BOIL. I used my finger as an indicator since my thermometer is dead - the milk was hot to touch, and I could not comfortably keep my finger in the liquid more then a second to two.
   
3. If you have not separated the egg, this is the last good chance to really do so. I saved my white to use for baking later.
   
4. Once the milk has come up to a good temperature, remove the milk from the heat. Add the chocolate - if you are using solid chocolate you can add this earlier (I ended up adding mine after the powder when I remembered I bought it yesterday, and my end result was fine :3). Whisk consistently until all of the mixture is combined.
   
   If you don't want to add an egg, this is where you can stop! Happy drinking! :)
   
   Otherwise:
   
   
5. Begin to beat the egg yolk in a separate bowl alone - this is just to start your momentum!
   
6. Add 1tsp of the chocolate into your yolk bowl while quickly whisking. As the mixture comes together, add another teaspoon while still whisking. This is tempering the egg so that you can avoid having scrambled egg hot chocolate.
   
7. I did this for 4 teaspoons' worth of time before streaming half of my remaining hot chocolate into the bowl while whisking. I added this mixture to my mug, then the rest of the chocolate on top.
   
   The result with egg was foamy, with a creamy mouth feel. If you go the no-egg route, I would recommend using mostly/only solid chocolate, as this would thicken up your milk as well and make your drink even more chocolatey! I would have done so as well in this version, but I really like the cocoa I have, and thought the egg was more calorically and carb-ically safe.
   
   I'll probably make another cup when my husband gets home later, and add some whisky as well - definitely a keeper recipe for me :)
   
   Brands I used, if you're looking for ones that worked well:
   
   

• Eggs, Vanilla Extract, and Almond milk from Aldi's
  
  
• McCormick Peppermint Extract
  
  
• Lake Champlain Chocolates Unsweetened Cocoa
  
  
• Lily's Chocolate Chips
  
  
• Swerve Sweetener
  
  Nutritional Info, as I made it:
  
  Cal | Protein | Fat | Tot. Carbs | Fiber | Net Carbs
  ---|---|----|----|----|----
  150kcal | 9g | 12g | 11g | 6g | 5g

Pika2, I'm blue daba de daba da. That's gonna be in my head ALL freakin' day.

a. My username is Varasque! There's not really a story behind it though :(

b. My item is this pocky flavour I've never tried (and looks yummy!)

c. My item costs £1.01.

d. I am of the house of Hufflepuff :')

e. Koffing is my favourite pokemon. He's hilarious. He's just ALWAYS smiling, even when he's getting the shit kicked out of him. I think he's permanently stoned. I have a Koffing plushie actually :')

f. My favourite doctor is Dr Cox. Scrubs. What a guy!

g. I... I don't have a favourite My Little Pony D: Uh. I guess I'll put down Fluttershy because that's the only one I know thanks to the MLP CAH expansion pack :')

h. My favourite TV shows are HIMYM, Whose Line is It Anyway?, Man vs Food, Breaking Bad, and Would I Lie To You?
My favourite film is a toughie... Possibly Labyrinth, with David Bowie in it, or The Dark Knight.

i. My favourite books are the Alice in Wonderland / Through The Looking Glass books. I'm a massive Wonderland nerd. I also love the series called 'The Magician's Guild'. I've not read a book in a while though...

j. I do love anime and manga. ♥ I could write you an essay on this question, but I'll try and keep it short. Furuba, Shaman King, My Little Monster, Rozen Maiden, Soul Eater, Kaichou Wa Maid Sama... are the ones that came to mind first xD

k. My phone is a HTC One X. I love HTC~

l. My favourite animal is the okapi! Ever since I saw one at the zoo I've loved them ♥

z. I'm ok, thank you for asking! Weather is pretty drizzly and miserable, but I don't have to go out in it just yet thankfully! How are you doing today?

You are spot on with the amount of sugar, juice is almost as bad as soda. For Ice Cream Ill go through maybe one of these a week, 24g of carbs for the entire container, under 150 calories, and the main ingredients include whey protein and fiber. Imagine more of a sorbet texture with real ice cream flavors. I love em, but like everything, in moderation. (I get mine at Frazier Farms)

I also have a few bars of 82% cocoa dark chocolate around, which I don't pick at often, but if I'm just dying for some chocolate, ill break off a square (5-6g of carbs) and savor it.

I love to cook, and am lucky enough to live with my parents still and although I buy all of my own food, I'll usually try to cook for the family as much as possible. (Still trying to show both my overweight parents the light =D)

My breakfast around 8am usually includes an omelet made from a HUGE grip of spinach, some finely chopped broccoli stalks, handful of mushrooms, and 2-3 eggs, depending on what my meals will be like that day. Workout days will include a couple pieces of Ezekiel Bread or make 2 breakfast burritos instead of the omelet with these tortillas which are an amazing 3g of net carbs each :D

I am working a pretty solid 9 to 5er as a product photographer right now and my schedule doesn't vary, I will admit my eating times are consistent and I probably have it easier than you, if not most in that regard. Lunch time around 12 includes a can of tuna, a sandwich bag of almonds, or using those same tortillas, ill chiffonade a bunch of spinach and mix it with this mayoniase some feta cheese, that can of tuna, and a little pepper for taste.

Dinner is around 6ish and is either a big spinach salad with grilled chicken, a stir-fry type mixture of the above mentioned, or something along those lines really. Like I said, not a lot of variation, just a shitload of spinach, broccoli, mushrooms, lean meats, and eggs :D

If you're curious who is giving you advice right now, here is me 3 years ago at 18 (your age). Note the jack in the box cup and Robert Paulson style man-boobs. (About 235lbs)

And here is me 30 seconds ago, at my age ;) (About 180lbs)

I hope that I am of help to you, because I love helping others and see a little bit of myself in you. Ask more questions if you need to :D

I am far from my fitness goal, but the way that others treat me, talk to me, approach me, etc. has all changed since losing all my weight since January. It's my own self image I'm still adjusting to.

Fall is in full swing which means it's PUMPKIN time! This muffins are made with coconut flour and almond flour and sweetened with monk fruit and allulose. So tasty and just 3g net carb, 1g of sugar, and 170 calories per muffin.

Recipe Source: Low Carb Keto Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins (includes pictures, tips, and full nutrition facts)

RECIPE: GLUTEN FREE & KETO PUMPKIN CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFINS

SERVINGS: 12 MUFFINS (170 CALORIES EACH)

PREP TIME: 10 MINUTES

BAKE TIME: 25 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME: 35 MINUTES

INGREDIENTS

We were able to grab all of our ingredients from a local Walmart, but you can find the ingredients in most grocery stores or online on Amazon.

• 1/2 cup (56g) Coconut flour (we used Walmart’s Great Value Organic Coconut Flour)
  
• 1/2 cup (56g) Blanched almond flour (we used Nature’s Eats Blanched Almond Flour but Blue Diamond Almond Flour works as well)
  
• 2/3 cup (140g) AlluMonk Allulose & Monk Fruit Sweetener (Hoosier Hill Farms Allulose is also a viable choice if you want to skip the monk fruit; Lakanto’s Monk Fruit Sweetener with Erythritol is another option)
  
• 1 Tablespoon (14g) Baking powder
  
• 1 Tablespoon (6g) Pumpkin pie spice (we used Walmart’s Great Value Organic Pumpkin Pie Spice)
  
• 1/2 teaspoon (3g) Sea salt
  
• 4 large Eggs (200g)
  
• 3/4 cup (180g) Pumpkin puree (we used Walmart’s Great Value 100% Pure Canned Pumpkin)
  
• 1/2 cup (113g or 1 stick) Unsalted butter
  
• 1 teaspoon (4.3g) Vanilla extract (we used McCormick All Natural Pure Vanilla Extract)
  
• 1/4 cup (45g) Unsweetened chocolate chips (we used Bake Believe Dark Chocolate Chips, but Lily’s Dark Chocolate Baking Chips or Pascha 100% Cacao Chips could also work!)
  
  
  

  INSTRUCTIONS
  

  
  

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F/180°C. Line your muffin baking pan with 12 muffin baking cups.
   
2. Microwave the butter for 30 seconds to soften, but it should not be melted if possible. Stir in the eggs, pumpkin puree, melted butter, and vanilla extract until completely incorporated.
   
3. In a separate bowl, stir together the coconut flour, almond flour, sweetener, baking powder, pumpkin pie spice, and sea salt. Make sure there are no clumps. Stir into wet mixture.
   
4. Stir in your chocolate chips.
   
5. Spoon the batter evenly into the muffin cups and smooth the tops. (They should be almost full, not 2/3 or 3/4 full)
   
6. Bake for about 25 minutes, until an inserted toothpick comes out clean and the muffins are very slightly golden around the edges.
   
   Recipe Source: Low Carb Keto Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

I think I'm pretty bad at cooking, too, but there are a few things I make really, really well. It all involves what /u/Illigmar said: put a bunch of shit in a pan (pot) and let it sit.

One meal that I absolutely love, and which can be very, very healthy, but delicious, is chili. Buy a bunch of different beans, some lean ground beef or turkey (or whatever you fancy), chop up an onion, garlic, and bell peppers, then a ton of chili powder, cumin, and whatever other spices sound good. I also usually put a jar of jalapenos in there, with some habaneros. It literally involves dumping everything into a pot and letting it cook for a few hours. Ridiculously easy, delicious, and depending on what you put in it, low-calorie, but filling.

I also subsist on tacos most of the week. I buy these wraps from either Kroger or Walmart, use Greek Yogurt as sour cream, toss some low cal queso (Pace, Newman's Own, whatever), and toss in your meat of choice. Add some peppers or onions for fajita style and to get those veggies in. I usually prep the meat, onions and peppers on Sundays and make a huge batch to last all week.

Point: find something to practice making. Something you believe you would enjoy eating regularly. Start small with something relatively easy. Get good at it and meal prep at least one day a week. It makes "cooking" a lot easier when you don't feel overwhelmed to do a fancy meal every single day. Eventually, you will get better at it and start branching out. You'll get new ideas about what new to make and how to enhance your existing recipes.

I drink looseleaf with an infuser like this one, or in a ceramic teapot (haven't gotten around to shelling out for a clay one yet.) This is my process for making black tea, which is what I usually drink.

1. Put water in the kettle. Bring it to a boil.
   
2. Pour a cup or so of water in the teapot or infuser, put the lid on, and let it sit for a few minutes to warm up.
   
3. Bring the kettle back up to a boil. (If you're using a kettle on the stove, just leave the burner on until the second pour in step 6.)
   
4. Dump the water out of the teapot.
   
5. Put in a few teaspoons (this will vary according to taste and will change as you get more practice) of tea in the teapot.
   
6. Pour boiling water over the leaves, as much as you're planning to make (this, too, will vary, and you'll settle into a usual amount. A few cups, perhaps).
   
7. Wait 3-5 minutes (I set my phone timer for 4).
   
8. Pour into a cup. If you're using a teapot with the loose leaves floating around inside, strain it. I use this strainer, but if you want to go fancy, you can get something like this. They just sit on the rim of the mug.
   
9. Add whatever you want. I usually do a few drops of liquid stevia and a squeeze of lemon juice. Sometimes I'll do a little cream instead of the lemon. Sometimes it's just sweetener. Sometimes I drink it without anything added. Depends on how I feel.
   
10. Enjoy!
    
    I'm not a huge fan of tea bags, because I'm sort of elitist about my tea and because I can't find many bagged teas that are as delicious and full-flavored as looseleaf teas.
    
    When I'm drinking tea, it's usually before or with breakfast, so I'm generally just eating breakfast alongside it. However, for a treat, I like to get some McVitie's digestive biscuits to nibble on with a pot of tea. If you're American, you can often find them in international food stores (or order online!). They go wonderfully with tea, and they're way more appetizing than they sound.
    
    I hope this helped, and that you can forgive my penchant for abusing paretheses! :)

For me, I try to take recipes that are already established and switch things out until their calorie counts are "acceptable". It may not always be the healthiest changes, if you're worried about being able to pronounce what is in your food, some things just go off the table if you're battling it against calorie count.

For instance, I accidentally told someone to pick up the wrong kind of squash a the start of the week (I needed spaghetti squash, I ended up with a butternut, and so turns the world) so I needed to figure out what to do with it. I came across http://www.makingthymeforhealth.com/2014/01/12/roasted-butternut-squash-enchilada-casserole/. In itself, it's not bad by any means, but I knew with a couple changes here and there, I could make it shine!

First, I traded out her tortillas (could have left them out altogether for even lower counts to be honest, it still would have rocked socks) for these suckers which are only 50 calories a piece. I only ended up using 4 versus the 6 it called for, bonus!

Secondly, for the cheese, I switched out for this (it says they don't sell it, but Wal-Mart is oddly the only place I can buy the cheddar, my local Smith's/Kroger carries the Fat free mozzarella. Super inconvenient.

I also only needed about half an onion and the salsa I used was 5 calories per 1oz.

Keeping that all in mind, and that the dish makes 9 servings, each serving (for me) came out to 118 calories and I assure you, that serving was HUGE, there was no way I could finish it. If I was making this a recipe for someone with MY appetite, those 9 servings would have become 18! Which is just under 60 calories for an ultra filling meal. Yes, I get that the cheese is questionable, but hey, it's better than having people get whiny about "this would have been better with cheese". IF you remove the tortillas and the cheese and still kept the servings at nine, (again, HUGE) you'd only be rocking a 70 calorie meal! It's truly all about taking the time to deconstruct a recipe and build it back in the image you want it in!

I have a ton of other recipes and the changes that I've made to them if you'd like some more ideas. This was dinner tonight so it's fresh in my mind. It can be done, so don't panic! You got this and they'll never know that it's low in calories.

EDIT: Also, when it says to cook things in oil, I make a point to use the oil spray, no, it's not 0 calories, I'm not fooled by what the can says, but it's a lot lower and easier to control then pouring in oil out of a bottle!

Sounds like your calorie goal is right where it needs to be, and initial water weight loss is nothing to concern yourself over. This happens with a reduction in calories all of the sudden.

For bread, I am a good person to ask since I eat it daily. I have a couple of go to brands that work well. The first is from the company Healthy Life: http://www.healthylifebread.com/
It's 35 calories per slice and is quite delicious. The company has also gone big time in the last 2 years, as a result it's pretty much available coast to coast in the US. Here in Chicago, they even have huge billboards advertising the bread over the Dan Ryan expressway as well as Interstate 290. The potato variety is my favorite.

My second option is one I actually prefer to Healthy Life but it is not nearly as easy to find. Aunt Millie's https://www.auntmillies.com/products/breads/1365
Also 35 a slice, it's delicious and toasts up like a boss.

Ole's Xtreme Wellness line offer tortillas which are 50 calories a pop which I find offers a nice change of pace from bread when I am in the mood.
https://www.amazon.com/Ole-Xtreme-Wellness-Fiber-Wraps/dp/B01CK6B424

Order some Jesus! http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859

> These little beauties are perfect for the dieter. One can only eat so many carrot and celery sticks before one screams. How better to spruce up the blandness than the crunchy goodness of Jesus? Jesus is good with fat-free dips, as the base for cucumber sandwiches (especially with lemon salt) and out of this world on salads! I mean, do you have any idea how many calories croutons have? But not Jesus. Oh, no. He's fat and virtually calorie free.

> We are taught to bring all our problems to the feet of Our Loving God, Jesus, and many of us have prayed for years in vain for help loosing the inner tire or the cottage cheese legs. And you know, He was answering us all along! Order several boxes of Jesus, and He'll help you out with that unsightly double chin, just as you prayed!

I'm on the Keto diet, lost 30lbs in 3mths

I have an illness that forces me to take Prednisone, I also had a very rare side effect from the Prednisone and had avascular necrosis in both of my knees so I was in a wheelchair for 2yrs (2016-2018). As such my weight really jumped up to 326lbs but I'm now down to 290 and my weight is still dropping steadily.

I do walk on a treadmill for 15min every morning when I wake up, not able to do more than that, and I also walk the dog in the evening. I feel great while being on the keto diet as it doesn't feel like I'm on a diet at all. I found a really good Tortillas that only has 6 net carbs (total carbs - fibre) that I have for lunch and I have meat and salad (no carb, low-fat dressing) for supper, I guess I'm really lucky to be part Italian because I really LOVE salads!

​

Here are the Tortillas I buy on Amazon, https://www.amazon.ca/Tortilla-Factory-Large-Wheat-Tortillas/dp/B002QM98DA/ref=pd_nav_hcs_rp_1/130-8560531-0163767?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B002QM98DA&pd_rd_r=771f24c8-92ac-49bd-8e13-6ec43409d1f4&pd_rd_w=gJthv&pd_rd_wg=AwjTi&pf_rd_p=e5174c17-749d-4f1f-9763-7620b3dbddb3&pf_rd_r=J1V4KF6QPFNVJNVH0XGS&psc=1&refRID=J1V4KF6QPFNVJNVH0XGS

1.) Something that is grey.

2.) Something reminiscent of rain. (It sprinkles all over you!)

3.) I've heard these are delicious

4.) For my best friend because birthdays! Also he loves superheroes!

5.) You must read this because I mean... V for Vendetta. The movie was fantastic, this will blow you away


6.) Well, it can be... ;)


7.) I am the crazy cat lady, so...

8.) I mean... It's beautiful


9.) Not the actual movie
But seriously, everyone needs to see this movie. It changed my life, really. I mean, it changes how you perceive things. Even your littlest actions. Not to mention, fantastic movie score... 10/10 would recommend.

10.) May not be real, but it still shoots...


11.) Definitely this or this but they're wicked expensive. The lens would absolutely change my photography career so much because photography is a lot more about equipment than people like to admit. The Macbook would help me with my photo editing, music mixing, and even my coding and programming. These things would open up so many possibilities for me...

12.) Ugh, stupid add-on... I just want to cure my chapped lips! :(

13.) This is the most expensive and I'd love it for photography... The MacBook, my second dream item, is only $100 less...

14.) Definitely bigger than a bread box...

15.) Earring are small.

16.) This smells glorious


17.) Because neurology <3

18.) This would be extremely helpful!

19.) I CAN'T STOP. I also may or may not have already finished the second volume...

20.) THIS COMIC OMFG but seriously, it is one of the best comics ever (according to statistics)


Thank you for the contest! :) <3


EDIT: Bonuses

1. I'm sorry, this is hilarious.
   
   
2. Hm, this sounds good!
   
   fear cuts deeper than swords.... muahahahahaa!

Dairy free Chocolate cookies that are also nut free. Not already made but This tells you how to make tons of dairy free foods. cheese me please! If I won could I request a GC? I am saving up for a vacuum which helps cut back on my daughters allergies [Pollen and certain plants] our current one died or surprise me.

Thanks for the contest!

Oh damn, I've heard good things about those, but never tried them. Looks like Amazon has them for $9.77 a pack, which isn't bad for 10 tortillas that are a specialty food. If you don't have prime, you could rock the 3 pack and get free shipping: https://www.amazon.com/Mama-Lupe-Carb-Tortillas-12-5oz/dp/B0053DJYOC?th=1


Harris Teeter in the Cloverdale mall (and probs other locations) sells 5 different styles of the Mission low carb tortillas. They range from 8g per tortilla to 4g, depending on the size and white/whole wheat. I try to limit myself to 2 tortillas per week so that I'm not craving wheat tasting stuff the rest of the time. Been having success with green cabbage leaves for wraps and burgers.


I hear you about the depression my friend, that can undo fitness progress like nothing else. Glad you're back on the horse.

Honesty, right at the moment I wish I had a 1000 dollars. That would help me take care of. a few things 😁

I wound love these Jaffa cakes that I have on my Snack Attack List

Thank you & congrats on hitting 1000 karma points!

I like the Mission brand Carb Balance (in soft taco style (120 calories), but they also sell the burrito style) but they have like 13 grams of fiber per wrap which is almost excessive! But I eat them every day! They freeze really well and they're still soft when I warm them up in the microwave.

The other brands I really like but I haven't tried freezing are the [Lets Skip the Sandwich] (http://www.tumaros.com/content/tumaros-products?cid=68) by Tumaros and the [Ole Xtreme Wellness Wraps] (https://www.amazon.com/Ole-Mexican-Wrap-Xtreme-Fiber/dp/B001SB1X2E). I get the Whole Wheat ones from Tumaros and they have 60 calories per wrap and 7g of fiber. The Xtreme Wellness High Fiber Low Carb wraps have 90 calories and 9 grams of fiber.

I think I've found all three at Walmart or Walmart Neighborhood Market! What do you put in your breakfast burritos?

This is by far my favorite 'treat' I've made while doing keto. I recommend using parchment paper or a silicon mold of some sort. I am not a fan of pecans so I subbed in pumpkin seeds instead. I also did not roast anything since I bought pre-roasted almonds. I also sprinkled extra sea salt on top before refrigerating. Keto Almond Bark

Ingredients

• 1 bag Lily's Sugar-Free Chocolate Chips
  
• 1/3 cup natural peanut butter I use Smuckers
  
• 2 tablespoons coconut oil
  
• 1 tablespoon butter melted
  
• 1/4 tsp salt
  
• 1/2 cup almonds
  
• 1/2 cup pecans
  
• 1/4 cup unsweetened coconut (optional if you'd like to add)
  
  

  Instructions
  

  
  

• Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
  
• Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.
  
• Spread pecans and almonds on parchment paper. (If almonds are already roasted there is no need to roast again.)
  
• Drizzle 1 tablespoon melted butter and 1/4 teaspoon of salt on top of the nuts and toss to coat evenly.
  
• Bake for 5 minutes, stirring once halfway through.
  
• Remove from oven and set aside to cool.
  
• Grease a glass bowl and add Lily's chips and coconut oil.
  
• Microwave on high for 1 minute then stir.
  
• Microwave in 15-second intervals, stirring between until Lily's chocolate chips are completely melted.
  
• Add natural peanut butter and stir until it melts.
  
• Pour melted chocolate mixture into an 11 X 7 baking pan covered with parchment paper.
  
• Sprinkle pecans, almonds, and on top. (Feel free to customize toppings to your liking.)
  
• Place baking pan in the refrigerator and allow to set.
  
• Remove from refrigerator and break into bites.
  
• Enjoy!
  
  

  Notes
  

  
  The sugar alcohols in Lily's Chocolate Chips are not included in the nutritional information since most subtract to calculate net carbs. The nutritional information won't be exactly accurate unless you break almond bark into equally sized pieces.
  
  

  Nutrition
  

  
  Calories: 107kcal | Carbohydrates: 5g | Protein: 2g | Fat: 9g | Saturated Fat: 3g | Cholesterol: 1mg | Sodium: 44mg | Potassium: 52mg | Fiber: 2g | Vitamin A: 15IU | Calcium: 11mg | Iron: 0.2mg

http://amzn.com/0805470867/

No offense, but you're really really lazy.

edit:

>These little beauties are perfect for the dieter. One can only eat so many carrot and celery sticks before one screams. How better to spruce up the blandness than the crunchy goodness of Jesus? Jesus is good with fat-free dips, as the base for cucumber sandwiches (especially with lemon salt) and out of this world on salads! I mean, do you have any idea how many calories croutons have? But not Jesus. Oh, no. He's fat and virtually calorie free.

http://amzn.com/0805470859/

1. Cake or birthday related (It is my cake day after all) (Get it? Jaffa CAKES?)
   
2. Simon Pegg (SHAUN OF THE DEAD!)
   
3. A book you are eager to read (Dark Tower)
   
4. Eating Utensils (Chopsticks!)
   
5. Animal (Beanie Baby leopard!)
   
6. Purple (Socks!)
   
7. A game (Old Zelda game)
   
8. A guilty pleasure (Broadway musicals!)
   
9. A Tool (LOL)
   
10. Something from your childhood (Robin Hood!)
    
11. An organizational item (It organizes the music sheets)
    
12. Hobby (Quilting!)
    
13. Nerdy/ Geeky (NINJA TURTLES!)
    
14. Something Natural (Naturals, get it?)
    
15. Green (Apple pops!)
    
16. Something you wear (A hoodie!)
    
17. Funny (So funny)
    
18. Beads, Bees or Beans (Bracelet!)
    
19. Gardening (Purple lights!)
    
20. Your absolute favorite item on your wish list no matter the price.
    
    And happy happy cake day!
    
    Bonus: I prefer complete surprises.

A few options based on our last trip to the States.

1. If you're a fan of Taco Bell's sauces, the US sells it in bottles. We always bring home a Fire bottle and a Diablo bottle.
   
2. Birch Benders Pancake/Waffle Mix. I am pretty sure you could bring this on the plane with you if it's unopened. Can be found at most grocery stores.
   
3. P3 Protein Packs. These are little travel packs of jerky and nuts/seeds. Check the nutrition labels as some are worse than others, but they are pretty good!
   
4. The Mission low-carb tortillas in particular are legit. Very close to the real thing.
   
5. Flavoured pork rinds are way easier to find.
   
   Based on your post history, you live in Canada? If not, you can ignore this, but if you're looking for options when you return home, https://naturamarket.ca/ has lots of keto stuff. By the time you consider conversion rates, you end up paying about the same as you would buying it off the shelf in the States (maybe a little more). We also get these on Amazon all the time: https://www.amazon.ca/Tortilla-Factory-Original-Wheat-Tortillas/dp/B002QM9CTA/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?keywords=la+tortilla+wraps&qid=1562601359&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1

Happy Cake day!

1. Cupcake Liners!
   
   2.Emma Watson is British and so is Simon Pegg
   
   3.The picture of Dorian Grey.
   
   4.How about some colorful Straws?
   
   5.Hummingbirds are Birds, birds are animals and Hummingbirds feed on flower's nectar!
   
   6.Purple Holga!
   
   7.The Game of Life
   
   8.Claire's is my guilty pleasure:(
   
   9.Tool for Cool decorations!
   
   
2. Happy Hippo, ugh BEST ever. If you haven't tried them I urge you to!
   
   11.I need to organize those lipsticks!
   
   12.Photography
   
   13.GPS luggage tags
   
   14.To get that natural look
   
   15.Let's save on packaging and just get them all together
   
   16.I don't like bugs
   
   17.She's too funny
   
   18.Can Draw all three with these
   
   19.Wear them while gardening
   
   20.No Bookstores in my little town
   
   
   And you're getting these!
   
   rthanks for the fun contest!
   

These are free of all of those things! And they might satisfy your cheese craving!

I like surprises. (:

cheese me please

I'm feeling Kinder themed!

<$5: Happy Hippo - Hazelnut

<$10: Kinder Bueno
and they both have free shipping! :)


Edit: Instead of the Hippos, how about...

A face mask!

There are lots of different kids for all your skincare needs! :)

You can probably find Speculaas cookies - I believe I've seen them before at trader joe's. They may also be spelled speculoos. Stroopwafels would be my other suggestion but I think they are harder to find.

In terms of cheese, you can probably find Old Amsterdam.

Depending on where you are in California, there may be a dutch specialty shop. Pretty sure there's one in South Bay if you happen to be in the Bay Area.

As a kid I really enjoyed a broodje hagelslag (who wouldn't want chocolate sprinkles on their bread for breakfast?!?) and you could probably recreate that with generic chocolate sprinkles. Just butter a few pieces of bread, top with hagelslag/chocolate sprinkles and cut into mini portions. It's also kind of a fun word to try to get people to say! hagggelslaggggggg

I hate Jaffa cakes, but my brother loves them. He buys them all the time from amazon: http://www.amazon.com/McVities-Jaffa-Cakes-Triple-Pack/dp/B004TEVTJO . They come pretty quickly, and you can get a pretty consistent, cheap supply.

I have kinder happy hippos on my list that I would love to try!!!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000LQOI6K/?coliid=I3NS5OF3NXHTEF&colid=2V2FX9XHU2SPW&psc=1&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it
Edit to add the phrase: Flash for snacks!

I was wanting to make the famous brownies, and was pondering how I could make it even lower calories. Most chocolate chips are about 70-80 calories for the same amount, but these are 50. Just popped open the bag and tasted one, and seems pretty good so far. It's what I was waiting for to make "the brownie" recipe with pumpkin! So excited to taste them!


Link to where I got mine: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00H2AAXMQ/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

It was most likely canned brown bread something along the lines of this

While homemade brown bread is better this is still not bad. Used to be pretty popular New England food. many people would eat it with backed beans and hot dogs. Pretty tasty meal imo.

What is this penguin bar you speak of? I haven't seen them in our "European" section of the grocery store. If they're in the same category as hobnobs, I'm sure I'll like them.

Is this the right thing? I don't think I can justify almost $9 for some biscuits but I'll keep my eye out for a cheaper option! What do they taste like? Are they like a regular digestive biscuit? I've had these as well as the chocolate covered ones. Are they the same?

Growing up if I had the option, I'd always go for cream of mushroom soup and rice. It was something i learned to cook early on, and i loved it. I think my mom loved it cause it was cheap and i could eat it for a few meals before it was gone lol

​

linky thats the cooking list, theres kinder hippos on it

I am fond of these tortillas. They are about $4 a pack in my neck of the woods.

My favorite dipper is cucumber for low cal. Carrots are great too. I also drink a lot of sugar free hot chocolate. It's only 25 calories a mug.

1. This literally smells like sharpened pencils
   
   
2. Lisa Frank was all the rave!
   
   
3. If the teacher can't smile, her stamp will
   
   
4. Time for Math!
   
   
5. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!
   
   
6. Give me a Pea! P! You got your P, you got your P!
   
   
7. Yum! Dunkaroos
   
   
8. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be
   
   
9. Who you gonna call?
   
   
10. This one time, at band camp...
    
    Bonus 1:
    
    Bonus 2:
    
    In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson

Hahah, speaking of New England (Boston) foods, is it silly that I've been compiling a list of foods I want to share for when I've the time/money to do a big swap? Mostly, I am focused on Brown Bread. Sweet, delicious brown bread.

Yeah same, I used to eat mash potatoes everyday with steak and it tasted good but after being in keto for a few months I noticed how much carbs it is and every single time I look at something in the supermarket that seems "friendly" it still tend to have a lot of carbs. If you're craving some pasta I would recommend Tofu Shirataki Noodles by House Foods. However, I suggest adding stuff like tomato sauce that has low carb since the noodles will taste good if you season it well or bland if you don't season it. As for pizza I would making keto pizza. It doesn't cost much and you can track the calories of the entire pie by using myfitness recipe calculator. If you miss sugar you can use a Erythritol Sweetener.

​

Also, I seen people talk about MCT Oils and how some people get great results while others say the opposite. I personally recently started to include it in my routine and I been feeling more energy throughout the day and personally lost weight while using it since I been stuck at 193-195 and now I'm 189 (started on the 14 of this month). I was scared to use a low priced MCT Oil so I went for Brain Octane MCT Oil. I'd suggest getting the 3 OZ one to see how it goes for you since it's a waste to spend higher because if it doesn't work well at least you didn't spend that much.

​

Some snacks I enjoy:

Quest Nutrition Tortilla Style Protein Chips

HighKey Snacks Keto Mini Cookies

Lily's Dark Chocolate Chips

Biscuits that you can dunk into your tea. Consider yourself a true Brit when you have mastered the length of time to dunk without getting soggy biscuit in the bottom of the cup.

Mcvities make the best digestives, and if you have a sweet tooth they come coated in [chocolate] (http://www.amazon.com/McVities-Milk-Chocolate-Digestives-300g/dp/B000F9X40O/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1417018689&sr=8-3&keywords=mcvities+digestive+biscuits) or dark chocolate.

Amazon sells them, apparently. :)

Also, here is a NYT article where they talk about the bakery that makes the majority of these communion wafers.

>The family-owned company makes about 80 percent of the communion bread used by the Catholic, Episcopal, Lutheran and Southern Baptist churches in the United States. It has a similar market share in Australia, Canada and Britain, and is now looking to expand to West Africa


More helpful info from the article linked above:

>The company will not disclose sales numbers, but says it makes about 850 million wafers each year, and that each wafer sells for less than a penny. Most of the company’s bread is sold wholesale to religious supply stores and Southern Baptist bookstores.

Based on the article, it looks like most churches buy in bulk one or two times a year. One of the churches mentioned buys 6,000 wafers a year, but I'm not sure what the size of their congregation is, so I couldn't comment on how "normal" that number is.


Oh, and as far as who handles ordering them, it's most likely the office manager. The same person that handles distributing funds for, as well as scheduling and probably maintaining, church events.

I like to make a bunch of burritos and freeze them, so it's super easy to make a lot at once and grab one to take to work whenever I need an easy, low-cal lunch.

To make mine, I throw some chicken breasts into a slow cooker with enchilada sauce and a little can of green chiles (or your favorite salsa would work), cook on low 6-8 hours, then shred. I make "Spanish rice" by cooking rice and subbing half the water with salsa. And then I usually prep some kind of veggie, like peppers and onions or some black beans and corn (I'm actually really into pickled carrots lately).

Throw moderate amounts of each (going light on the rice) into a low-carb tortilla (I get these, 50 cal each), wrap up tight in plastic wrap, and continue until you have a pile of burritos to freeze. Just keep track of how many total calories everything is and then divide by how many burritos you made. Mine usually come out to about 250-300 cal each.

Double chocolate brownies! NOM!!



Is a giftcard ok? I'm wanting to save up :)

Sure thing! The pitas freeze really well so if you like them you can order them in bulk and save on shipping. Sometimes I get them from the Joseph's website ($2.99/pack), but I used to get them from Amazon ($6.99/pack). Walmart has them too. You might also check out the Joseph's Lavash bread. That has equally good macros.

Everyone should have Tim Tams on their list.

They're just so tasty.

And I'd be interested in whatever you wanted to make me! I <3 handmade stuff so much.

I am also generally very crafty and this is such an awesome and giving contest. <3

I haven't had luck locally, but I've bought these from Amazon... https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B002QM98DA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

​

They are pretty good --- 19 g of carbs and 13 g carbs making them 6 net carbs each.

My boyfriend (british) got me absolutely addicted to these delicious things. It's on my food wishlist <3

This is a cute contest~

*Edited for raffle, I like snacks

Had such a nice easter, my mom gave me a basket with a bunch of keto snacks. I wanted to post it but saw everyone else's so I'll post it here XD

• People's Choice keto jerky
  
• Vermont Meat Sticks
  
• Dark Chocolate ChocZero
  
• Cocoa
  
• Mama Lupe Tortillas <3
  
  She also included a bunch of pecans.

yes, i had cookies air-mailed to me (shipping was only $5), and yes, they are delicious.

http://www.amazon.com/McVities-Jaffa-Cakes-Triple-Pack/dp/B004TEVTJO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1333060124&sr=8-2

great post! i'm excited to try the No Oodles after being disappointed with other brands of shirataki!

i love Mama Lupe Tortillas. There are 3 net carbs per tortilla. I use one (folded) to make cheese and meat quesadillas. I top with Sour Cream or Sliced Avocados (or both!) for a filling meal.

Ole Xtreme Wellness Tortillas: Only 50 calories and they're good. They can be a tad mushy, but if you brown each side in a hot skillet for a few seconds they turn out perfect.

Walmart carries the Carb Balance line of tortillas. The white flour tortillas have 19g carbs and 13g fiber so 6g net carbs. Also picked up a new one from a local store called Ole tortillas, 16g carbs and 11g fiber so 5g net.

We typically have a taco night once every week or two. Shredded pork or chicken with veggies, sour cream, salsa, and gobs of cheese. It's kind of like fathead pizza in the sense that two of these is more than enough to stuff you beyond necessary, but still be around 500 calories or so for the whole meal.

Walmart also has something called Lavash Bread which IMO is pretty damn good. It's extremely thin but I've used it to make salmon "burrito" wraps -- cream cheese + baby spinach + smoked salmon, maybe something extra thrown in. Half a slice is 8g carbs and 3g fiber so 5g net carbs. Could easily make a quesadilla type meal from it.

You could also make some kind of gooey cheese calzone using fathead pizza dough. Here's a fathead quesadilla.

Not part of a community or anything but my wife does it and I do just low carbs CICO. I just suggest visiting the Low Carb Grocery store in Markham, they have a ton of great stuff there.

Also Amazon has these 3g carb wraps for pretty cheap https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B002QM9CTA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Just bought these pitas. 4 net carbs. Thanks for the recipe! Love me some gyro!
https://www.amazon.com/Josephs-Whole-Wheat-Flour-loaves/dp/B000BRWMIK

I need stroopwafels. Because I've heard so many damn people on this sub say they're amazing and I WANNA TRY THEM TOO. And I need to enjoy them in my fancy slippers. And watch Toy Story. To infinity and beyond!

I've had some crackers from HEB (Texan supermarket) that all called digestives or something like that and those are gritty and full of fiber but graham crackers are more like a cookie.

They look like this but the packaging is HEB brand: http://www.amazon.com/McVities-Digestive-Biscuits-400g-Original/dp/B000FA8SH2

I used to live in Florida; a popular chain there is the Publix grocery store (they had an 'International/Foreign Food Section). If you don't live near one, I'd recommend ordering some online. Hope this helps!

These are good for sure, but depending on where you shop looks for these:

Mama Lupes Low Carb

They honestly are the most amazing low carb tortillas I have ever had and are only 3g net carb per tortilla. I have found them at target, Walmart and Price Chopper

They're about regular size! Here's the listing on Amazon so you know exactly what your looking for! Good luck my dude!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01CK6B424/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_OpAXBb7MDBABQ

My daughter is also allergic to dairy! Are you allergic to all dairy or only cows milk?

This popcorn is really great!.I have two bags on top of my fridge right now. I think the cheese version is even better.

Cheese me please.

Edit: these granola bars are really good too. And there are chocolate ones! I add a box of these on to every order I make on amazon. Cookie version.

The dog ate my homework! Kinder Happy Hippo Treats would make my day! :)

According to The Gospel Coalition Jesus was likely around 5’1” and 110 lbs.

These commercially available communion wafers weigh 0.005 oz each (box of 1000 weighs 5 oz.)

110lbs * 16oz / 0.005oz per communion wafer = 352,000 communion wafers.

To go a bit further and see how long it would take one person to receive communion this many times...

Let’s assume this person is a dedicated church attendee and attends weekly as well as all of the extra church services including Christmas Eve, Christmas, Shrove Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and Maundy Thursday (in my experience communion isn’t offered at Good Friday service Easter is always on a Sunday and therefore not an extra church service.) This means 57 services per year. 352,000 / 57 = 6,175 years of devout church attendance to receive the entire Body of Christ.

Yeah, you wouldn't like the US ones! I've been offered this meal of hot-dogs, US molasses beans, and weird brown molasses bread that comes in a tin (sweet AF of course) (Edit: this is the stuff - 1/3 sugar by weight!). I've had desserts that were less sweet.

But this is a country where a whole lot of kids are given "PB&J" sandwiches as their lunch - the main part of it, not a dessert. i.e. peanut butter and jam sandwiches.

But we have no idea why all the obesity and type II diabetes... why could it be‽ I know an obese family who talked about how they just have genes that make them gain weight literally while giving their children a chocolate chip muffin for a "morning snack" between breakfast and lunch.

Amazon pay Jerron right meow.

4.60 free shipping.

thanks for the contest!

Yes they are very good. My wife and I get ours through Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Arnotts-Tim-Tam-Original/dp/B002KRVSNY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1408981884&sr=8-1

Amazon reviews are the best. You'll want to look at the bobble-head Jesus, and the communion wafers.

https://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-11093-Dashboard-Jesus/dp/B000CIS34U/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1473285444&sr=8-2&keywords=bobble-head+Jesus

https://www.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1473285539&sr=8-3&keywords=communion+wafers

You don't need to deprive yourself! Check out some of my favorite low point carb things:

• This bread is one point per slice
  
  
• 1 point per tortilla!
  
  
• This pasta is 3 points for 1 1/2 cups cooked
  
  I have found all of the above at Walmart BUT the noodles. I ordered from Amazon.
  
  For peanut butter, I've heard good things about PB2 and it's super low points.
  
  Edit: More stuff:
  
  This pita bread is 1 point
  
  These crackers have 3 points for 41! I use them instead of tortilla chips with salsa!
  
  

For the recipe I used Lily's Chcolate chips
https://www.amazon.com/Lilys-Dark-Chocolate-Chips-1x9/dp/B00H2AAXMQ
They're no sugar added so lower Calories. For the top of the brownies I used a few mini Enjoy life.

I think that Chocolate Covered Katie uses the Lily's or some other sugar free chips too because that is the only way she could have gotten that calorie count.
I use Lily's chips all the time to lower calories, like in this high protein peanut butter cup
https://redd.it/67x9vo

In a pinch this is a great snack/meal and very easy to make.
Ingredients:

• 1 Large Tortilla Factory Tortilla (available on Amazon) 6 net gram per tortilla
  
  
• 2 Tablespoons of tomato sauce
  
  
• Handful of Mozarella
  
  
• Handful of Pepperoni Slices
  
  I used my air fryer to make this but you can easily do this in an oven. May take longer in an oven, I haven’t tried it out. Spread the sauce on the tortilla, sprinkle cheese on it, place pepperonis on top, set air fryer to 350 degrees F for 5 mins. Regular oven may need 5-10 mins. Total net carb is about 7-9 grams depending on the sauce you use.

Oh, for the love of god. You can buy those things on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0053DJYOC?sa-no-redirect=1&pldnSite=1
Net 3 carbs ea

http://www.latortillafactory.com/view/products/non-gmo-low-carb-tortillas/
Net 4 carbs ea

I've been using these as I can put whatever i want into them (Keto - Wise!) Tuna, salad, meat, eggs, bacon anything low carb and I won't go over my carb intake. Good luck and hang in there as this diet works!!!!

yes pizza and a coke will definitely kick you out of ketosis and set back your fat adaption. If the pizza is something of a tradition you want to keep up I recommend making a lazy man pizza (low carb tortilla, low carb marinara sauce, pepperoni, and cheeese).

Or if you really want to have closer to real pizza you could make fathead pizza.

Australians in USA ... well that's easy give them the long lost taste of home

https://www.amazon.com/Arnotts-Tim-Tam-Original-200g/dp/B002KRVSNY

https://www.amazon.com/Nestle-Milo-Beverage-Chocolate--Ounce/dp/B004XNJI9O/ref=sr_1_3_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1473899617&sr=1-3&keywords=milo

honestly if the do not love both of these with a passion they are not true Aussies

These are the best pizza crusts and I think they're like 50 cals a piece.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000BRWMIK?pc_redir=1407702403&robot_redir=1

You can get them at walmart. I just throw them in the oven at 350 for like 5 mins to crisp them up, put on some lower cal sauce, a little bit of cheese, garlic and jalepenos and bake them until they're crispy and brown. The calories always work out low enough that I can eat 2 if I want.

These Ole wraps are my favorite. They're 50 cal, high fiber, and taste good! I get them from the tortilla section in Kroger.

CANDY!!!!!!!!!!! It isn't a candy but Jaffa Cakes are my fav snack food.

3 net carbs if you absolutely have to have tortillas:

http://smile.amazon.com/Mama-Lupe-Carb-Tortillas-Pack/dp/B006E8OGNY/

They do taste pretty good.

They sell these occasionally at my grocery store. Pretty good for only 50 calories

> The sign of the cross […] is an outward and voluntary expression by the atheist that serves no secular purpose.

Voluntary? Are you not in voluntary control of your own mouth? Did someone drag your limp corpus to the altar? What "secular purpose" is fulfilled by eating the body of a god?

> accepting and consuming the food has a secular purpose—nutrition, or general enjoyment of the food.

No. Absolutely no. Stop this façade. Communion is not snack time.

I dare you to ask your catholic family if it's okay to serve host wafers (free shipping) with grapes and goat cheese. After all, they're "nutritious", and "generally enjoyable as food". Get the fuck outta here XD

Per Amazon

I could get 1,768,172 5-packs (8,840,860 individual) Vanilla and Rainbow Dunkaroos with all those Buckaroos! FREE SHIPPING! (You'd have to place 58,940 orders to get it all. That's 1,149,311.8 KG (about 1266.9 US tons) of Dunkaroos shipped freely!)

Don't worry be happy!

I think you'll like this Gunter necklace and this magnet set!


I'd like this :3

You were able to get them on amazon for awhile, but not anymore. I bought them for my wife a couple years ago with some other 90's sweets that I found. Remember these?

I think you might still be able to get dunkaroos from Canada, but a Canadian might need to weigh in here.

They won't be cheap anywhere. Most stores sell the regular sized pack for $5+

https://www.blogto.com/eat_drink/2014/10/the_top_10_stores_that_sell_british_products_in_toronto/

Triple pack for $11 with free shipping seems like a decent price? https://www.amazon.ca/Jaffa-Cakes-Triple-Pack-Shipped/dp/B004TEVTJO

If you ever decide to get back on tortillas, I highly recommend these: https://www.amazon.com/Ole-Xtreme-Wellness-Fiber-Wraps/dp/B01CK6B424/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=ole+xtreme&qid=1559339555&s=gateway&sr=8-1

These are better than the regular mission tortillas I always used to eat. And this is coming from a mexican who has eaten tortillas my entire life. only 16 carbs per tortilla.

I usually make a shrimp burrito, but I guess you could put anything else in it. Here's what I do:

I use these tortillas 3.5g net carbs and 4g net carbs

I simmer the shrimp (0g carbs) /whatever meat in butter for a little bit and then I throw either 1/4 cup shredded cabbage (~1g net carbs) or 1/2 cup shredded cabbage (~2g net carbs), depending on how hungry I am, into the frying pan to soak up the rest of the butter (be sure not to cook that cabbage as that adds a few more carbs.)

After that I throw in 1-2 tbsps of Salsa Verde (2g carbs) and mix it together then put it on the tortilla shell.

After that you can optionally put a tbsp of Sour Cream and a tbsp of Guacamole.



It takes up a few carbs, but it is worth it to have every once in awhile.

For a good chuckle read the reviews of wafers at Amazon...

These 8 inch tortillas are only 50 calories, and still have a nice soft semi-fluffy texture. I wish they’d make a 10 inch...

I order these off of Amazon.ca and I love them! La Tortilla Tortillas

I love short work weeks too!

Item

I sub these for any bread thingy I'm gonna make

https://www.amazon.com/Josephs-Lavash-Bread-Whole-Reduced/dp/B0079OUVF4/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1511266046&sr=8-1&keywords=joseph%27s+flatbread&dpID=51nwdRubrYL&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

The best!

McVities Chocolate Digestives are by far the most popular chocolate digestive brand in Ireland:

http://www.mcvities.co.uk/products/chocolate-digestives

You can order from Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/McVities-Milk-Chocolate-Digestives-10-5/dp/B000F9X40O

If you’re in the US, you can buy them in Walmart but they come in slightly different packaging (i.e. small cardboard boxes as opposed to plastic wrap). Here’s a pack of 12 boxes for $53.60 (I’m sure you can buy individual boxes as well):

http://www.walmart.com/ip/McVitie-s-Milk-Chocolate-Digestive-Biscuits-10.5-oz-Pack-of-12/29474496

In honor of amazon prime day:

https://www.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859/ref=sr_1_2?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIutuLjNa84wIVRr7ACh0-zQdcEAAYASAAEgIdXPD_BwE&hvadid=174241117102&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=1015431&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t1&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3509015635358567694&hvtargid=kwd-152965810349&hydadcr=24630_9648900&keywords=broadman+communion+bread&qid=1563391240&s=gateway&sr=8-2

http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859

Or you can just go to your local church. My x-priest said he would buy them in bulk for me if necessary. He would often joke "If Christ didn't taste so delicious, I would be a protestant!".

Edit: You could always try ringing Father Larry Duff on his cell, he has a ready supply.

I've managed to find them on Amazon but they're not cheap. (Same for various brands of Jaffas).

And yes, they're "Arnott's Tim Tams"

http://www.amazon.com/Arnotts-Tim-Tam-Original/dp/B002KRVSNY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1427764536&sr=8-1&keywords=tim+tam%27s

Oh wow! If you're willing to shell out $2+ per pack, dunkaroos are still available!

http://www.amazon.com/Dunkaroos-Frosting-Sprinkles-Imported-detachable/dp/B00MH563LQ

I wonder when they were made...

My husband doesnt want me seaching eBay for PB Crisps. He says 20+ year old peanut butter is risky. Boo!

Smoked salmon!!

You can make oopsie bread (https://www.dietdoctor.com/recipes/oopsie-bread) or get these low carb tortillas (https://www.amazon.com/Mama-Lupe-Carb-Tortillas-12-5oz/dp/B0053DJYOC/ref=sr_ph_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1478549001&sr=sr-1&keywords=low+carb+tortilla) and then I put a little bit of cream cheese (or tofutti) and smoked salmon and capers. Delicious!! And you can make a bunch in advance so you can grab and go.

I use one rather than two a day and it's fine for me. Even better are these which are 5 g and affect me even less than the mission:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001SB1X2E/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I'm in the same boat. I just moved to Hawaii and I swear, no one diets here at all. And they eat rice with everything. I'm afraid to say the word "low carb" around these people :)

So I have recently bought on amazon a bunch of things I USED to be able to find my local grocery stores, such as:

1. Bob's Red Mill Coconut Flour
   
2. Bob's Red Mill Almond Meal/Flour
   
3. Mama Lupe's Low Carb Tortillas
   
   I bought them in bulk and they're all going into the freezer.
   
   I will probably try this Unsweetened Shredded Coconut soon because the I Breathe I'm Hungry blogger is always using it and I can't find it unsweetened here...
   
   And I've always bought EZSweets on Amazon, I've never found it in stores anywhere.
   
   I'm having issues finding Pork Rinds in Hawaii by the way, so if you find a good spot to order them online, let me know.

I Googled "communion wafers" to see what a box cost, out of curiosity. The user reviews are fantastic.

This what god look like.

https://www.amazon.com/Josephs-Lavash-Bread-Whole-Reduced/dp/B0079OUVF4

Your body has no clue what a calorie is. Its defined value is determined by burning food in a closed system. You don't have a fire in your stomach, you digest, meaning the pathways between macro-nutrient ---> ATP has no correlation to caloric value. Any body modification, such as weight gain and loss can be accomplished by macro-nutrient variation.

There's also no reason to remove the fat from the chicken breast, all you're doing is removing flavor and texture. The assumption is the skin has fat and eating fat makes you gain fat which is was an unscientific assumption called the lipid theory. The only reason anyone gives it any credence is because it was accepted, with controversy due to lack of evidence, by George McGovern as the basis of what would eventually become the food pyramid and national policy towards food. The theory has no credibility as it was based on a single observational study.

Carbohydrates are a necessity, just not in the amounts people eat.

I can't vouch for these in particular, but my grocery store sells wraps that are 6g of carbs. These are 3g.

These little bastards fueled my high school years. The secretary would actually keep a stockpile of these in her desk specifically for me in the event that my blood sugars dropped low and I didn't have anything on me to eat. I had these all through my childhood, but they were most prevalent during those high school years. I graduated in 2005, and haven't had a single one since then. Frowny-face. That's why they're on my wish list: once I finally have some money to spare, I want to grab some and have some diabetic nostalgia time. :D

EDIT: Also, Tim Tam.

I listed some items in a previous post, I'm not sure what you can get at a regular store or if someone can order items to your visiting address.

Swerve Sweetener

Lakanto Golden Monkfruit Sweetner

Navitas Cocoa Powder

Moon Cheese

Carolina Gold Nuggets Microwavable Pork Rinds

Carbquick

ChocZero

ChocZero Syrups

Lily's Chocolate Chips Stevia Sweetened

Whisps

IsoPure Zero Carb Protein Powders

Sweet Leaf Flavored Stevia Drops

Shirataki Pasta Miracle Noodles

G Huges BBQ Sauce

Reduced Sugar Heinz Ketchup

Id be happy to, but have you tried Amazon? Might be faster and less melted than from our heat recently...

http://www.amazon.com/Arnotts-Tim-Tam-Original/dp/B002KRVSNY

Geeze, if you're going to say something like that, put up the damn link! That being said, $12.25, even with free two-day shipping, is a bit steep.

I found them on Amazon (won't let me add the link for some reason) but damn, they are $13.95 for a sleeve of 5!! That would last me... an hour?? Haha! I think I'll grab supplies and try the at-home version!

These were my go-to after school snack and I can't believe they've been discontinued. At least I have have gushers!


Dunkaroos | Vanilla Frosting & Rainbow Sprinkles | Imported from Canada, 130 gram,5 separate detachable packets https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MH563LQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_n1aozbHR94RY0

I’ve only ever found them online, I use Amazon. They’re expensive, but if you have a craving, it’s an option.

Arnott's Tim Tam Original 7oz (200g) https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B002KRVSNY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_R8KWDb4TMTWH2

http://www.amazon.com/McVities-Jaffa-Cakes-Triple-Pack/dp/B004TEVTJO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1405739462&sr=8-1&keywords=jaffa+cakes Free shipping, it just takes forfuckingever to get them.

I would enjoy this

Aww! I'm sorry to disappoint you. I did find them on Amazon but they're like $10 a packet! http://www.amazon.com/Arnotts-Tim-Tam-Original/dp/B002KRVSNY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1407948470&sr=8-1&keywords=tim+tams

I'm in utter shock that no one has mentioned Mama Lupe's


Only 3 net carbs each. They don't taste so great out of the bag, but if you put a little butter and oil on a pan, get them nice and crispy on both sides, add some cheese, chicken, bacon, sour cream, whatever!!!

This changed my keto life.

Found it at BJ's Wholesale Club (which is a price club like Sam's Club, but they have slightly higher tier food). Haven't looked for it elsewhere, but I'd check out your local upper tier grocers -- Kroger, Harris Teeter, Publix, etc.

Or you can buy it on Amazon, because that's not weird or anything...

https://www.amazon.com/Josephs-Lavash-Bread-Whole-Reduced/dp/B0079OUVF4

you can actually

the lord said that as long as you have him he is all you need. each package has 1000 wafers so it's enough for 1000 days :)

srs the reviews are hilar

These reviews 😂

This PR clss is nuts

11th grade ap English. By far one of my favourite classes. I read half the books the year prior so it was a cake walk. But reading all the books again four times at least whilst everyone else sparknotesed the book. I knew more about the book then the teacher. Good times.

I order the Mama Lupes Low carb tortillas from Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/Mama-Lupe-Low-Carb-Tortillas/dp/B0053DJYOC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1422297274&sr=8-1&keywords=mama+lupes

I find them to be pretty tasty and it's 3 net grams of carbs per tortilla.

(Sorry, it's online order I know and not local store)

I see these at giant food stores near the deli. I tried the spinach one and couldn't finish them, they're awful in my opinion. There's a few other brands that I prefer with less net carbs.


Joseph's (my favorite)

https://www.amazon.com/Josephs-Lavash-Bread-Whole-Reduced/dp/B0079OUVF4


Please don't buy that from Amazon though, I get the same package for about $4 at Giant. I posted it for the nutritional info. Also they actually taste like lavash/pita!

You can get them at Amazon. The reviews are hilarious, BTW.

for those wondering, yes, canned brown bread is available on amazon

It's interesting, they are now out-of-stock on most major online grocers. Eg, [Netrition] (http://www.netrition.com/mama_lupes_tortillas_page.html)
and [Amazon] (http://www.amazon.com/Mama-Lupe-Low-Carb-Tortillas/dp/B0053DJYOC)

Seems to me you could really cut down on carbs in that. When I did keto (I'm picking it back up on Saturday) I made a week's worth of breakfast burritos every Sunday night. They definitely did not have 11g of net carbs in them.

• There are wraps out there with less than 7g...I think it's 5 or 6. Made by Olé I think? (edit: here they are, it's 5g!)
  
• There is absolutely no need for milk in this recipe.
  
• There is no need for peppers. I'd sub with some Herdez Verde Salsa. 1g carbs per serving, and I use much less than a serving per burrito. That gives it enough flavor.
  
  I plan to make these burritos again this weekend. I will have to get back to you about the brand of tortillas and exact macros if anyone is interested. I want to say it was something like 7 or 8g of carbs per burrito. Still almost half if you're limiting yourself to 20g, but 3g less than your burrito is a 15% savings.

these are yummy I understand your pain! I have celiac disease and it can be difficult to find good items. Most gf items are dairy free (most not all).

Surprise me


Cheese me please

Mama Lupe's these have 3g net carbs.

Mission also 3g net carbs.

There's another that I saw at the grocery store that had 2g, but I can't recall the brand.

Edit: these La Tortilla Factory may have been the ones I saw in store, but these are 3g as well.

Is this the pita?
https://www.amazon.com/Josephs-Whole-Wheat-Flour-loaves/dp/B000BRWMIK

It's only 4 net carbs so I wouldn't expect it to spike your sugars like that. A medium carrot is around 5 net carbs. 9 still really isn't all that much but if you're super resistant who knows.

It is important, however, to have that known. A salad with chicken is different than a salad with chicken, some cheese, carrots, and a pita. Also worth knowing that protein and fat can both cause an insulin response. They are much smaller and it doesn't sound like you ate enough for that to happen but who knows.

As for the sickness, ten to one your body is still not used to being at normal or at least lower blood sugar levels. It'll adapt. Big swings also can cause nausea.

A box of 1000 communion wafers, or as I like to call them, "Jesus Bites".

I like the ones from Joseph's, although your local supermarket may have a store brand that is equivalent and cheaper.

You can also just use lettuce if you don't mind it possibly being a little messier.

It's available on amazon.

This (and the canned chicken) might actually make decent provisions for remote living situations, like long sea voyages.

Me too. These are pretty clean though. There are some starches and Xanthan Gum but that's about it. There's no comparison as far as processing goes between these egg whites and low carb tortillas. https://www.amazon.com/Mama-Lupe-Carb-Tortillas-12-5oz/dp/B0053DJYOC?th=1
I think a lot of ketoers can benefit from the egg whites.

If you can find Mama Lupes in your area I think they are much better and only 3nc. The sell them here in my area at just about every grocery store. You can also find them on amazon for a premium:

Mama Lupe Low Carb Tortillas Pack of 2 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006E8OGNY

Looks like you can still get them imported from Canada.

https://www.amazon.com/Dunkaroos-Frosting-Sprinkles-separate-detachable/dp/B00MH563LQ/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1505951372&sr=1-1&keywords=dunkaroos&th=1

It's too heavy for me. It makes me feel like there is a brick in my stomach. I actually use St Josephs' Lavash for my crust and that actually works really well, but wanted to try and nail the cauli crust.

I tried to mimic a burrito from the local joint and came up with the following:

Ingredients:

1 High fiber wrap - https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B002QM98DA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_4vevDb2WKNC3Y

1/3 cup Mexican cauliflower rice - https://www.wickedspatula.com/mexican-cauliflower-rice/

1/3 cup Refried black soy beans - https://lowcarbyum.com/low-carb-refried-black-soy-beans/

2 TBSP Guacamole

1/3 cup of ground hot Italian sausage

1/4 cup Shredded Extra Old Cheddar

2 TBSP Salsa - low Carb home made

2 TBSP Sour cream

Romaine Lettuce

Red Onion

Add all ingredients to wrap, roll it up, and enjoy!

Nutritional Info: 10g net carbs, 18g protein, 34g fat, 459 calories

Yanks are cool.

TrickorTreat

Alright, time to try it!

http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859

no luck on pei either so i order off amazon! If you have prime they get delivered in 2 days too! i did find flatout bread low carb at walmart though and buy coco polo chocolate bars at bulk barn though which is life saving.

https://www.amazon.ca/Tortilla-Factory-Large-Wheat-Tortillas/dp/B002QM98DA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510249108&sr=8-1&keywords=low+carb+tortilla&dpID=5131SMabgaL&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

According to Amazon, each wafer weighs approximately 1/4th of a gram.

According to Wikipedia, the weight of your average Jesus is 70.8kg [assuming White Jesus]. Of this, approximately 9kg is bone and 2.5kg of blood [interesting side note: blood is not denser than water. Who knew?]. This leaves approximately 59.3kg of White Jesus flesh, organs and skin.

According to this discussion, a sip of wine is approximately 15 mL.

According to this page, the average White Jesus has 5.5L of blood.

By these figures, you would require 367 communions to drink an entire White Jesus' worth of blood and 237,200 wafers for White Jesus' flesh.

http://www.amazon.com/Mama-Lupe-Low-Carb-Tortillas/dp/B0053DJYOC

AND THEY ARE FREAKING DELICIOUS TOO!

Amazon sells the ones I use:

​

https://www.amazon.com/Josephs-Lavash-Bread-Whole-Reduced/dp/B0079OUVF4/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1RJG2JAL3DWKY&keywords=josephs+lavash+bread&qid=1566831835&s=gateway&sprefix=josephs+lava%2Caps%2C201&sr=8-4

Holy shit those reviews! Almost as good as those jesus wafer ones (and yes I did buy and review these things)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0805470859

Why not have a “keto” chocolate snack?

I eat a few Lily’s chocolate chips and satisfy the craving

Lily's Dark Chocolate Chips- 1x9 OZ https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00H2AAXMQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_4uHKDb7DW4BKR

Or make a keto brownie in a mug. I’ve been keto since 4/15/15 and I’m not saying you can’t occasionally have a slice of cake or whatever- but you’re setting yourself up to slide back into old habits with this mindset.

You can get them on Amazon! Plus the reviews are amazing.

Closer than South Ameristralia! You can also get it on Amazon, for 3x the price

There are actually quite a few true low carb tortillas! These ones are my favourite - 3g of net carbs each.

This is one I like or you can find the flat out one with 7g at Safeway, Walmart, save-on-foods, and probably other chains.

Edit: my link is being really weird try this

This stuff?

5g a sheet, and a half sheet for this recipe. Not bad.

Although it says 8 total carbs and 3g of fiber. But then it says 4 net carbs. I assume they're rounding somewhere.

According to this amazon product description a single wafer would weigh about 0.32g.

According to this guy‘s page Jesus height might have been 5' 10" and his weight may be around 142 pounds. —> 64,41 kg


x = amount of wafers

0.32g * x = 64,41kg or 64410g

x=64410/0.32

x= 201281.25


You would have to eat around 200k of them.


If you went to church each week and ate exactly one wafer (52 a year) - you would NEVER eat a whole Jesus in your entire life.

Eucharist wafers, look in your phonebook and Google to see if there's a Catholic supply store in your area.

edit: Amazon has them too.

https://www.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859

On Amazon you can buy a 1000 pack of communion wafers. According to the nutrition facts the mass of 1 piece is 0.32g. (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Communion-Wafers-Box-of-1000/dp/0805470859)

​

Estimates of the average stature of people at that time would mean he was approx somewhere around 5'2'' - 5'5''. If we assume he was 5'3'' then a reasonable weight (according to most BMI charts) is approx 55kg.

This means you would have to receive communion 171,875 times. If you went to mass every week it would be approx. 3,300 years before you ate Jesus.

​

Note: I'm assuming total mass (excuse the pun). This includes bones etc. not just the mass of "flesh".

You can just buy them on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1347652286&sr=8-1&keywords=communion+wafers

Even Amazon has them.

Amazon has them

http://www.amazon.com/Arnotts-Tim-Tam-Original/dp/B002KRVSNY

Apparently you can buy these on amazon, prime eligible too. Fairly pricey though. http://www.amazon.com/Arnotts-Tim-Tam-Original/dp/B002KRVSNY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406209628&sr=8-1&keywords=tim+tam

Amazon HERE

You can order them from Amazon. link

Amazon has them. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B002KRVSNY?pc_redir=1410350219&robot_redir=1

has anyone tried these tortillas from amazon? http://amzn.com/B002QM9CTA

You can buy them on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00MH563LQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1427336176&sr=8-1&keywords=dunka&pi=AC_SX200_QL40&dpPl=1&dpID=51st%2BMn9TlL&ref=plSrch

You can get it on Amazon! I am in the Midwest where it's in every little grocery store, but I've ordered it online when it was out.

-Pita

-Lavash

You're doing yourself a disservice. Order them on Amazon. I got my package in about 10 days from that seller. You will not regret it.

I make chips from these pitas...

https://www.amazon.com/Josephs-Whole-Wheat-Flour-loaves/dp/B000BRWMIK

60 calories each, but they're hollow so you can pull them apart into two 6" diameter sections.

Cut those sections into 6 pieces each, bake them in the oven, and you have 12 huge chips (about double the size of a Dorito) at 5 calories each.