Reddit mentions: The best divorce books

We found 79 Reddit comments discussing the best divorce books. We ran sentiment analysis on each of these comments to determine how redditors feel about different products. We found 24 products and ranked them based on the amount of positive reactions they received. Here are the top 20.

1. Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal

    Features:
  • Used Book in Good Condition
Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal
Specs:
Height9 Inches
Length6 Inches
Weight0.6503636729 Pounds
Width0.47 Inches
Number of items1
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2. Divorce Poison New and Updated Edition: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing

William Morrow Paperbacks
Divorce Poison New and Updated Edition: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing
Specs:
Height9.25 Inches
Length6.12 Inches
Weight0.85539357656 Pounds
Width0.88 Inches
Release dateJanuary 2010
Number of items1
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3. Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak

Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak by Leila Miller
Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak
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Height9 Inches
Length6 Inches
Weight1.06 Pounds
Width0.82 Inches
Number of items1
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5. Divorce Casualties, Second Edition: Understanding Parental Alienation

Divorce Casualties, Second Edition: Understanding Parental Alienation
Specs:
Height9.02 Inches
Length6.03 Inches
Weight0.98 Pounds
Width1.02 Inches
Release dateOctober 2008
Number of items1
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6. Divorce in Peace: Alternatives to War from a Judge and Lawyer

    Features:
  • Specialist Freestyle Rope: This jump rope was designed for competitive freestyle jumpers, and is the rope commonly used at international and USA jump rope competitions. Why? Long 8" handles for tricks, non-slip grips and specialty PVC cord.
  • Light Weight: Handles are designed ultra light weight (1oz per handle) for easy rope manipulation so your arms/fingers won't tire while jumping. Unbreakable plastic polymer long 8" handles make freestyle skipping rope tricks like crosses easier.
  • Freestyle Cord: Unique 4mm PVC licorice cord delivers a consistent rotation. Most PVC stretches at high speeds. The Fit+ cord features an inner string that keeps it from stretching or breaking. Kink free & tangle resistant. Durable for outdoor use as a fitness jump rope.
  • Adjustable: Comes at 10ft length; fits jumpers up to 6'3". Easy to resize to your height with snap locks. Slip the rope out and cut excess cord with scissors. We provide helpful resources and videos at Elite SRS for sizing your exercise jump rope for free style or general fitness / workouts.
  • Elite SRS: We are a specialty jump rope company in Wenatchee, WA. Elite SRS provides workout jump ropes for athletes to excel at the highest levels of their sport. Born out of the competition jump rope community, we also make equipment for every day exercise and workouts.
Divorce in Peace: Alternatives to War from a Judge and Lawyer
Specs:
Height8.5 Inches
Length5.5 Inches
Weight1.04058187664 Pounds
Width0.93 Inches
Number of items1
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7. Talking to Children About Divorce: A Parent's Guide to Healthy Communication at Each Stage of Divorce: Expert Advice for Kids' Emotional Recovery

    Features:
  • Crafted from the highest quality material
  • Perfect for outdoor and even indoor use
  • Made in China
  • Two pumps in one bed, patented neverFLAT pump system silently keeps your airbed inflated all night
  • Primary pump automatically inflates and deflates your airbed in less than 4 minutes, secondary neverFLAT Pump monitors and silently maintains the air pressure to your desired comfort level while you sleep
  • Convenient auto-shutoff feature on primary pump automatically turns the pump system off when the airbed is fully inflated or deflated
  • 21 circular coils create a supportive and level sleep surface, durable flocked top provides a soft and comfortable sleep surface that also keeps your sheets in place, made from quality materials that are puncture and water resistant to ensure a long life
  • Durable flocked top provides a soft and comfortable sleep surface that also keeps your sheets in place, made from quality materials that are puncture and water resistant to ensure a long life
  • 18" raised height makes getting into and out of bed easier; Included carry bag for convenient storage and travel, Twin Dimensions: 74"x39"x18"
  • Please inflate your mattress according to the included instructions. Note that the material may stretch during the first several uses. It is recommended to inflate your bed at least 1 hour prior to using or measuring it. Extra air may be required after this period to achieve full firmness. For items featuring the NeverFLAT pump system, this extra air is added automatically. All mattress measurements should be taken from the center of the bed surface. For width and length, measure across the bed from the center of each side from widest point to widest point. For the height, measure at the center of the longest side from the ground to the highest point of the bed surface.
Talking to Children About Divorce: A Parent's Guide to Healthy Communication at Each Stage of Divorce: Expert Advice for Kids' Emotional Recovery
Specs:
Release dateFebruary 2016
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10. I Have a Stepmom (The I Have Books) (Volume 2)

I Have a Stepmom (The I Have Books) (Volume 2)
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Height8.5 Inches
Length8.5 Inches
Weight0.26 Pounds
Width0.09 Inches
Number of items1
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12. Magic Potion

Magic Potion
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Height9.01573 Inches
Length5.98424 Inches
Weight0.89 Pounds
Width0.614172 Inches
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16. Reconcilable Differences: Marriages End. Families Don't.

Used Book in Good Condition
Reconcilable Differences: Marriages End. Families Don't.
Specs:
Height8.5 Inches
Length5.53 Inches
Weight0.73193470984 Pounds
Width0.66 Inches
Number of items1
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17. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

Used Book in Good Condition
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way
Specs:
Height9.75 Inches
Length8 Inches
Weight2.31 Pounds
Width1.75 Inches
Release dateMay 1998
Number of items1
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🎓 Reddit experts on divorce books

The comments and opinions expressed on this page are written exclusively by redditors. To provide you with the most relevant data, we sourced opinions from the most knowledgeable Reddit users based the total number of upvotes and downvotes received across comments on subreddits where divorce books are discussed. For your reference and for the sake of transparency, here are the specialists whose opinions mattered the most in our ranking.
Total score: 80
Number of comments: 21
Relevant subreddits: 2
Total score: 36
Number of comments: 2
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Total score: 20
Number of comments: 2
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Total score: 15
Number of comments: 3
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Total score: 6
Number of comments: 5
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Total score: 4
Number of comments: 2
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Total score: 4
Number of comments: 2
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Total score: 2
Number of comments: 2
Relevant subreddits: 1
Total score: 1
Number of comments: 1
Relevant subreddits: 1

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Top Reddit comments about Divorce:

u/UnluckyWriting · 2 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Here you go:

The NUMBER ONE thing that helped my BPD tendencies was meditation, which I did as part of getting sober. It allowed me to find a pause between the emotion and my reaction. I still FEEL the same shit I used to - but I do not feel controlled by it any longer.

My favorite meditation teacher is Tara Brach. She posts all of her meditations online and on her podcast. Her book 'Radical Acceptance' was a life changer for me.

I also use a lot of binaural beats meditations (you can find these on Spotify or YouTube, I use the Profound Meditation Program by iAwake Technologies).

I have immensely enjoyed Sam Harris' book Waking Up which is about developing a spiritual practice without religion. He has an excellent podcast but it is expressly NOT about mental health, I just think he has a lot of great perspective to share.

Susan Elliot - Getting Past Your Breakup - this book looks like a cheesy self help book but it was awesome. Really really wonderful exercises. I also got her workbook.

Susan Anderson - Journey from Abandonment to Healing - this book was the first one I read, it was very helpful in understanding the science of what is happening in rejection and abandonment. This was useful because it allowed me to see my reactions were very, very normal.

Vicki Stark - Runaway Husbands - very specific book about men who walk out without warning. This helped me identify warning signs and feel less alone.

Lessons From The End of a Marriage - this blog is from Lisa Arends. Her story is hard to read. But this is the best divorce blog I've ever read! Such wonderful advice here.

Glennon Doyle Melton - First the Pain, then The Rising - I watched this every single day for a month. For a while, it was the only fucking thing that got me out of bed.

Overcomer podcast - hosted by a woman I met in one of the support groups, just lots of great insight on abandonment recovery.

Attached - great book on attachment theory

DBT Workbook - this is a GREAT resource on how to build distress tolerance and skills to face a lot of BPD type issues. DBT was a therapy style designed for BPD.

Edit to add: Forgot the best one!

Pema Chodron - When Things Fall Apart - Pema is a buddhist nun and I absolutely love her. She became buddhist when her husband left her. This book is incredible. So much wisdom! I always carry my Pocket Pema with me, literally Pema is THE BEST! She also has a lot of recorded talks that I find so calming to listen to.

u/8365815 · 7 pointsr/JUSTNOMIL

Get onto Amazon and order these two books:

Divorce for Dummies


The Complete Idiots Guide to Divorce


Sorry about the insulting titles, they helped me TREMENDOUSLY when it came to my divorce. And then you sit down and make a LIST of every conceivable expense BOTH of your children are going to need covered between now and age 30. Big ones are both health insurance and "Un-Reimbursed medical, optical and dental expenses" (that phrase includes braces, glasses, and any special testing for learning disabilities or speech therapy all on one swoop. You want him on the hook for that.

Make sure you don't just include college, but the application fees for college, SAT prep courses, extracurricular fees for interests and activities, travel expenses if your children are on sports teams or clubs, the travel expenses of looking at colleges, maybe grad school as well. Weddings. Car and insurance. Professional wardrobe for starting out after college. Age-appropriate electronics as needed and to be upgraded as appropriate for school needs... and list that they will be the possessions of the child not the parents (big deal with such a douchebag as your ex husband). Literally down to prom dresses, you get him on the hook - and you don't do it 50-50. Do it "according to income" - because you will be a single mother, and he will be able to out earn you since childcare is a real thing. You make sure that you get the dependent tax credit.

When it comes to visitation, you also but a stick in with the carrot - you give it generously, but make sure that he is on the hook to cover any expenses incurred on your part if he doesn't show up for a scheduled visit - your babysitter, reimbursement for theater or sporting event tickets you might have incurred with the expectation for childcare, etc. You get sole custody, but you also make sure you get at least one weekend of downtime per month - and also? use the words "developmentally appropriate" in your planning. Not just age- development. (That takes the emotional well being of the child into consideration.)

I dont' know what job skills or earning potential or career you have, but do NOT be shy about social services right now if you need them. If you had an accountant, call them up, you need the copies of past taxes, and if they can, you might want a forensic accounting of all assets and debts. ALSO - get a hold of your money now and start calling to transfer your insurance for your car, your car title, and any other assets into your name - and a freeze on all the cards so he can't rack up new debts.

Another book is Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare - and you need it, pronto. It will help you to not go back to this asshole and his bitch mother. To start healing and supplying yourself. She also has written a guide to self-care you might want. I do believe she also has a section on helping you find a lawyer that specializes in "high conflict divorce cases".

Get therapy for yourself and your son asap. A therapist is not only for your mental health and healing - they are also an EXPERT WITNESS for custody. Another EXCELLENT option is to have a forensic psychologist do an evaluation on the family dynamic... basically this will be the psychologist meeting with all of you and your kid and your ex separately, possibly together, and then making a report about the family dynamic for the judge - will certainly bolster your case how abusive and nasty your Ex and his mother are, and will help you. This is going to be the next year of your lives, at least, and on top of that you will have a new baby to deal with. Breathe. It WILL be ok in the end. 5 years from now, you'll have a much much better, more peaceful, happier life. Give yourself permission now that you only deal with divorce stuff at set times and days - like "Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1-3 are when I face this, the other days I'm done."

You will get through this. It's a lot more work than planning a wedding, but you will survive, and so will your son. I'm glad you got away from that abusive situation. You are giving your children the gift of a better life - keep doing that, keep fighting for them.

u/aglet · 6 pointsr/stepparents
Unfortunately this is pretty typical.

There are a lot of great books about parents badmouthing each other that might give you some strategy tips:

Divorce Poison

Divorce Casualties

Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome

There are also some books for young kids to help them handle divorce like Two Homes, Dinosaurs Divorce and The Invisible String. Kids really need examples of other kids in their position to understand they're not alone, and books can help with that.

I know this is really hard, but it's also a relatively short time since they split up (year & a half, right?) and there is a definite adjustment period. Just stay positive and don't bash her dad in return. You can respond with things like "I'm sorry your dad feels hurt" or "I'm sure it feels like that to him" or similar neutral statements, but you don't want to put her in the middle by saying he's a liar.

Most of all, you cannot change anyone, no matter how shitty he's being, so make a plan that doesn't involve him suddenly starting to respect you. You have to work around that and find other ways.

The best thing you and your wife can do is lead by example. Stay positive, change the subject, show by your actions that you're good people who are not doing whatever he's accusing you of.

In the meantime, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. If you end up in court, you will need to show a history of his negativity. One of the custody factors judges weigh is which parent is more likely to foster a positive relationship with the other parent. If one parent is repeatedly bashing & badmouthing the other, the judge will not look kindly on that.

You may also consider family counseling for you & your wife & daughter.

Good luck. I've been there, and it is no fun whatsoever.

:internet hugs::
u/ceebee6 · 2 pointsr/Divorce

I highly recommend getting the book Runaway Husbands. It really helped me through this past year. Also, you may think there's not an affair, but unfortunately there probably is.

I know exactly how you feel, especially how a person could go from being the person you've always known, saying loving things, treating you with kindness and love, talking about the future, making plans--and then literally the next day is a cold stranger who has no qualms about hurting you.

I'm a little over a year out from mine. The first bit of time is so, so dark and painful. It feels like you will never stop crying or stop hurting. But you will. The pain is like waves. You just hang on tight and survive right now. And over time, the waves come with less frequency and overall less intensity.

The best thing that you can do right now is focus on yourself and your son. Force yourself to eat, even though you have absolutely no desire to. Put an alarm on your phone for meal times and then choke something down, even if it's just a container of yogurt and some berries. Do things that make you feel good. It is impossible to imagine feeling good right now, but find those few things that can bring even the thought of a smile to your face, no matter how momentarily.

I kept a gratitude journal (still do) in which I made myself write three things I was thankful for every single day. Even if it was something small (like using my coffee mug or a snuggle with my cat). It helped so immensely to focus on the small positives as my world was being torn apart.

It feels like you won't, but you will survive this. You will. And it won't always hurt this bad. I promise.

u/emaline31 · 11 pointsr/Catholicism

It sounds like you could stand to use some family counseling. You need it, your teen needs it, and it sounds like your wife could need it too.

You say nothing in regard to your wife here, really, but I know many Catholic couples who swear by Retrouvaille as having saved their marriage.

Also recommend he book [Primal Loss](Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak https://www.amazon.com/dp/0997989319/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_3QwrzbJZ3FE9Z) which is now adult children who speak out on the trauma that divorce was to them.

When you agreed to marriage, you agreed to good times and bad. Excluding abuse and enduring unfaithfulness, I think it's best to try and honor that vow, because the damage it does long term to your soul and those of your family isn't worth it. Marriage has seasons. It isn't always good. Sometimes for long stretches it isn't good. But continued prayer and efforts to make it work can help. And your child will be probably inspired by your commitment to your wife and family when you make an obvious and concerted effort to save this marriage. She will ultimately thank you.


Though many Catholics treat divorce as neutral and only remarriage as an issue, divorce is still sinful. When you take a vow before God or in God's name, breaking that vow is a mortal sin. That said, sometimes it's not the fault of one spouse, and sometimes situations necessitate divorce. As you haven't stated anything which indicates necessity (abuse or constant cheating) I would caution you against filing without at least attempting opening up better communication (via counseling, retreat, spiritual direction, etc.)

u/marcyk96 · 1 pointr/Divorce

I used the book Divorce in Peace by John Roach

https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Peace-Alternatives-Judge-Lawyer/dp/1627873724

It is very comprehensive in going through the checklists and covering items you may not have thought of.

Basically I had same situation - I put together all the information and X just signed. I made sure to include shared expenses outside of child support and into college.

The BEST advice the lawyer gave us is to make sure to add wording to cover yourself -
Example - my X and I agreed to split car insurance for kids through college. My lawyer said have an out clause Incase your kid is awful driver or has drug issue etc - otherwise kid could use decree to sue you for not paying insurance.

So in decree it is written - X will pay car insurance and Marcy will reimburse. 50/50 split of car insurance for children through college - of maintaining agreed GPA and safe drivers. Termination of insurance can be discussed and agreed to by parents at any time.

u/cmcg1227 · 3 pointsr/Parenting

Have as much as possible of a complete and stable plan for them ready to be laid out BEFORE you tell him. "May" need to sell the house is not something you want to tell him. Either you're going to sell the house or you aren't.

If it is in any way possible, get as many details of the divorce laid out in advance before telling them. Figure out custody/visitation, where each parent is going to live, etc.

Then, honestly its the same-old, same-old "Mommy and Daddy both love you guys SO VERY MUCH, but we don't love each other anymore. Sometimes mom's and dad's fight a lot and decide it is better for them not to be married anymore. That is what your father and I have decided is best for our family, for mom and dad to live apart. You're going to spend X days here with me, and Y days with your father."

Allow them to ask questions, and answer them in an age appropriate way. If you aren't prepared to answer the question, don't be afraid to tell them that you don't know, or that you'll get back to them on that after you think about it.

Pick up a few books from the library about how to talk to kids about divorce, or honestly just google for some articles. Here's a suggestion from Amazon. This google search alone comes up with a ton of good articles about what to say/what not to say. How to answer questions, etc.

u/CTSVERROR · 3 pointsr/Divorce

Ahh OK. Well good luck. This book might help Divorce-Poison-New-Updated-Bad-mouthing

u/adrift_in_the_bay · 1 pointr/Divorce

2-3 years, depending on whether you mean legally divorced or for-all-intents-and-purposes divorced. Have you thought about going to kid's turn? http://kidsturn.org/kt/ Also, here's a book that has been recommended to me, but I haven't checked out as the co-parenting thing (as opposed to many other divorce-related things ;) has actually been going ok. http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Kid-Love-With-Hate/dp/1608324206 Happy to chat any time, even if you just want to vent.

u/Surajahh · 7 pointsr/BPDlovedones

Sounds like an overtly criminal case. I am sincerely sorry for you, and don't quite understand how your SO can possibly be in denial while witnessing something like what you just described. In my case, I had a child with my ex, who also showcases advanced criminal inclinations (referring to my ex, here, not to my little one. These leanings were not immediately obvious. Initially he, too, "appeared normal and healthy"). As the truth about who he was emerged, I resolved to cut him off completely, along with all of his tribe. It was a process, and some people judge me for what I did. But I believe that with certain profiles complete eradication is the only way to go. As we both agree, every case is different.

PS: If you didn't, read this:

https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S

It deals specifically with new SO of BPD exes SO, i.e. people like you, who became targets by proxy.

u/mountainvalkyrie · 4 pointsr/AskWomenOver30

Thank you, u/Aragorns-Wifey!

u/wodemajia it sounds like you're in a really hard spot because he doesn't even want to try (I mean, threatening to abandon the kids just because you want him to say "I love you" more? Good lord.). And I presume he won't go to counseling because it "costs money", right? Maybe the only thing left is to suggest small easy improvements and (hopefully) build up over time. But keep trying.

Before you decide, though, take a look at this book so you'll at least be prepared to support your kids through the loss. Children of divorce are silenced to a terrible degree, thus the need for a book like this.

u/Anon-eight-billion · 1 pointr/stepparents

This is the one I read to the 3 year old!

The Family Book https://www.amazon.com/dp/0316070408?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

And the other two are

I Love My Bonus Mom https://www.amazon.com/dp/1787232751?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share


I Have a Stepmom (The I Have... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1512215236?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

u/starry-starry-starry · 3 pointsr/raisedbynarcissists

Yep. Any time I got back home from spending the night at a friend's house or simply went away from nfather to hang out with a friend, and I came back cranky, it was all my evil friend's fault that I was "acting like such a little bitch!" It couldn't be that I was tired from riding my bike with my friend, staying up all night, swimming, or doing any other activity that would cause me to be tired and cranky.

Right before I got married, my nfather told me he had a dream that Mr. Starry kicked me out of the house because (in the dream), I was an alcoholic. Something about this just didn't sit right with me. Why would you tell me this? Especially right before I'm getting married. I called him a few days later and expressed my discomfort, telling him that it took a few days to process things in my mind about how it didn't feel right for him to tell me about that dream. I told him I felt like he wanted Mr. Starry to dump me so I would have to come back home and live with him. He told me "Sounds like your mother has divorce poisoned you against me!" Nfather just loved to accuse my mother of divorce poisoning me against him, when he was the one who brainwashed my younger sister and I against her when he got a bogus order of protection against my mother in order to get her kicked out of her own house so he could move his girlfriend and her kids in. In other words, nfather alienated us from my mother, and not the other way around. Ns love to project, and for a while there, I truly believed that my friends were bad people simply because nfather said they were. It took me a long time to learn to truly think for myself without nfather's influence.

u/anthurium1 · 1 pointr/Divorce

We did it for 14 months and it was really hard. Just sad and tense - we paid off a bunch of debt though and our kid had time to get used to the idea of our split. Now my ex lives about 2 min down the road, which is very close, sometimes too close, but it's nice for the kid and convenient for us as co-parents. I find I still date and socialize out of the area however and I don't feel totally free. I expect he feels the same way but it's a compromise we make for our kid and also we both like this neighbourhood I guess. I don't know how it will go if one or the other of us decides to have a live-in partner, will cross that bridge when we get to it.

If you are going to do it long term, I would suggest having defined spaces - like your own room with a door you can shut, or even better, move into some sort of duplex where you have two separate apartments in the same house. This will only work if you two have a very amicable, low conflict divorce. There's a book about a bunch of couples who came up with creative ways of parenting and not letting the divorce bankrupt them called [Reconcilable Differences](
https://www.amazon.ca/Reconcilable-Differences-Marriages-Families-Dont/dp/1897187297). I don't know that I could be as cool as some of these folks but - it was nice to read some stories that weren't all about how a marriage went nuclear.

u/aszelinski · 1 pointr/asktrp

GTFO
If you aren't married and have no kids; cut ALL communication That includes changing your phone number, blocking her on ALL social media, and filtering her emails to be deleted. If she changes her email or social media names and attempts contact DO NOT READ or INTERACT with her in ANY way. If you have mutual friends be VERY careful in giving your number to them (I suggest not even doing it.) You may be surprised to discover that mutual friends have seen the BPD abuse and will be very understanding.
I was married and had a child with my BPD ex of 15 years. I am now almost 2 years out and my life is 1000x better but I still have issues to this day mainly due to the fact of having a child with her. It took over a year for her to get the message after I left.

This book is a MUST for you to read as it saved my life/sanity. (Have a friend buy it if she has access to your email or Amazon account)
Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life
by Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, Paul Elam
https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S

This is a YouTube series done by the writers of the book...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2KyHtFso0E&list=PLGL4PxshBNxBnIihTluJrJgvhbTQWAOAk

Also, you need watch Terrance Popp, he touches on a lot of things regarding women in a humorous but serious way. Go and look through all of his videos for the ones that pertain to your situation.
https://www.youtube.com/user/redonkulaspopp/videos

If you have a child with here... I can not begin to explain the torture and heartache you will go through... but based on what your original post says you don't seem to have one KEEP IT THAT WAY and GET OUT!!!!
Added comments...
In the end it is up to you to get out she will NOT let you go until she has another to replace you and then will attempt to get you back when that fails (rinse and repeat). Believe it or not you are addicted to "CRAZY" (BPD woman) and only YOU can kick that addiction.

u/ShawnaeJames · 1 pointr/Divorce

Hi, love! I encourage you to read this book;

https://www.amazon.com/Runaway-Husbands-Abandoned-Recovery-Renewal/dp/0986472107/ref=nodl_

What you’ve experienced is unfortunately much more common than people discuss. There is also a Facebook community for abandoned wives based on the book that might be helpful to you!

u/seirianstar · 1 pointr/spirituality

Interesting premise! Link for whoever is interested.

u/thekittenisaninja · 7 pointsr/stepparents

Not a bioparent, but my ex-husband is a narcissist. If you let them continue to engage you emotionally, you'll find yourself exhausted. When ending a relationship with one, the rule is no contact - because the number one thing a narcissist needs is attention. If they can't get your positive energy (adoration or praise), then they'll do anything possible to get attention through negative emotions (frustration and anger).

You can go no contact, and it will save you a lot of grief. BD can't, as he has shared custody.

However, he can control how he interacts with BM. Insist on only discussing the matter at hand - custody, child support, etc. Refuse to become emotional in any way. Limit interaction to texts and emails vs. phone calls and face to face conversations.

I suggest the book "Say Goodbye to Crazy." It's an amusing read and has some good advice on how to deal with high conflict people.


u/ReservedFeels · 7 pointsr/NarcAbuseAndDivorce

This book is also a great way for new partners to deal with the HC narcissistic ex-wife/girlfriend.

u/jojogonzo · 2 pointsr/Divorce

I just finished reading this and it covers much of what you've written. This was a great read for anyone looking for advice on how to handle yourself in relation to your children throughout the process and beyond. https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Children-About-Divorce-Communication/dp/1623156858

u/Gabers49 · 2 pointsr/BPDlovedones

There's a great book called say goodbye to crazy. You are who they wrote the book for.

https://www.amazon.ca/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S

u/Imnotmrabut · 3 pointsr/MensRights

I'm not one for peddling Self Help Books - but "Say Goodbye To Crazy" is a good starting place.

https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S

u/acbain · 10 pointsr/exjw

Buy and read this book ASAP. It saved my custody case when I went through nearly everything that you described!! Here’s the description:

>> Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn't work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you'll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.
>>
>>DIVORCE POISON is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for their parents-even if their parents no longer love and respect each other.
https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Poison-New-Updated-Bad-mouthing/dp/0061863262

u/ozrainforest · 1 pointr/BreakUps

Some days almost killed me. Some days I almost, almost tried. But that's what reddit is for. You know in life, when you really need help most of the time you can find it. Either in someone else, or in yourself. You just end up doing what you need to, to get what you want.

Try reading this book, it'll help a lot:

https://www.amazon.com/Manifesting-Love-Attraction-Specific-Relationship-ebook/dp/B00AGKV59Y

u/micdalli · 12 pointsr/legaladvice

On top of advice already given here, grab a copy of Divorce Poison by Richard Warshak. I know parents in a situation similar to yours and they told me this book was really helpful.

u/Jhamption · 1 pointr/MGTOW

Another good book how to dump your wife.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Dump-your-Wife-Practical/dp/1481895176

​

u/LittleHelperRobot · 2 pointsr/lawofattraction

Non-mobile: Manifesting Love

^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?

u/juwells · 2 pointsr/Divorce

Here's one:http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0986472107/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This one really helped me through the worst parts of my divorce:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Relationship/dp/0425172287/ref=pd_sim_b_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=0MKZHBKAZ2SHWF4EYWX6

She should really file those divorce papers, if anything, just for herself to move on, she can always stop the proceedings should he become mentally stable again. She cannot help him if he doesn't want to help himself, and of all things, she needs to help herself step out of this nightmare. Good luck to your sis.

u/MzEllaneous · 3 pointsr/stepparents

You being in the middle is going to be hard on your mental health. Just remember that YOUR feelings matter and do what you need to do to alleviate your stress.

Try reading this book w/ DH. Something has to change before it's too late.

u/light0507 · 3 pointsr/DeadBedrooms

My ex was abusive, so I understand. The lies can do a lot of damage. The problem is, as many as you recognize as such, there are lies you haven't recognized yet. I am nearly four years out and just today realized another lie she told me! The term is "gaslighting" if you want to look it up.

Beware the quiet. He is probably winding up for something - either a big attack or a big push to get you back.

My children were young adults when I told them, so they had some maturity. I stayed for them until they were grown. It's a decision I'm still conflicted about, but I think now it was on balance wrong. I did protect them in most of the ways I had hoped, but left them open to things I was ignorant of. The family was dysfunctional so there's that too. There's no getting around that with an abuser.

Co-parenting is difficult with these types. I haven't read it, but my support group recommends Divorce Poison by Dr. Richard Warshak.

Glad you are already feeling better! It's an unusual time. For me, I went through some of the most difficult times ever, but was also happier than I'd been in my life. Quite a roller coaster!

u/Throwaway98764965 · 17 pointsr/stepparents

She is emotionally abusing her kids, your SO and you.

1/ Get a solicitor/lawyer now!

2/ Document EVERYTHING

3/ ONLY the BD should communicate with the BM

4/ All communication should be written - it’s evidence

5/ Send an email explaining the terms that were informally agreed and ask for it to be maintained

6/ Send an email stating that you ONLY want to hear about issues relating to the children, any other emails/texts/phone calls will be seen as harassment

7/ if the harassment continues, call the police. Communication about children is fine, comments and berating you/SO is not

8/ If she calls, voicemail it, no message, no response. The rules I use are email for all normal (not urgent comma), texts for important things that need a response quickly, phone call for absolute emergencies. Give examples in an email to her. Always respond to texts, if the voicemail isn’t urgent then respond with an email

9/ Set boundaries with her, you control the boundaries. She will learn them

10/ Read this book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B014W0587S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_kR4CDbGZ9H4K9_nodl

11/ In ALL communication, keep it business like and do NOT stoop to her level, regardless of what she’s saying

12/ If she’s not civil - no response

This approach is slowly working for me. I’ve been through exactly the same thing. It’s got so bad that I’ve filed for residence of my children due to her emotional abuse of the children.

u/ex_addict_bro · 2 pointsr/TheRedPill

She had very good day. She proved herself she still has control over her lousy beta ex. This is a "crazy" trait. Read this: https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S

He had a bad day. His day was so bad, he came over whining on the internet. And, I made his day even worse (unless this fucking piece of weaksauce shit won't bother to read the comments).