(Part 2) Reddit mentions: The best exercise & fitness books

>Which books, magazines or blogs have you found useful in your training? What about them did you find useful?

Currently reading 80/20 Running by Matt Fitzgerald and it's been a game changer for my approach to running and workouts. I used to always push myself, e.g. no pain no gain mantra, but Fitzgerald's approach has really helped me bump up my mileage, reduce a lot of heavy running I've had, and generally reduce the amount of pain/injuries I was getting. Not really sure what the running community as a whole thinks of this approach and/or Matt Fitzgerald, but I'm seeing problems go away that I had in the past as well as improvements in my form. Definitely worth a look.

Also been enjoying watching Adam Stevens on youtube. He's got some fun stuff, his own ideas about running, and lots of inspirational videos to get out there!

>Do you tend to follow training programs from books or do you find them online or write your own programs?

Currently just working on building up my weekly mileage to at least 50 mi/wk, but will probably start looking into more specific training programs after that. I guess you could say I'm going by feel at this point.

>Do you read books about running that aren't focused on training? If so, what was your favorite one?

Nope.

>Bonus media: Which running podcasts do you listen to, if any? Do you listen to them while running?

It's not a running podcast but I love listening to This American Life. It's so interesting, though I probably look lazy since sometimes it makes me laugh/smile haha.

Gear Purchases

Just got the new fall MEC Nitro Jacket for some cold fall runs. Seems like a pretty sweet softshell and looks nice to boot. I would have liked to wait for it to go on discount but wasn't sure my size would still be around, not to mention it probably wouldn't go down until the spring...

They still have last year's model on discount here: MEC Nitro Thermal Run Jacket if you're interested in it but note that it runs quite long in the torso. I'm 5'6'' and it was like a dress on me lol. The newer model has rectified the length issue.

Also got the Arc'teryx Actinium Sleeveless a couple of weeks ago and was running in it for warmer weather. Pretty happy with the air flow and large mesh holes for hot and humid summer runs.

Planning on buying some gloves/hats for this fall/winter soon too.

Stuff I've Tested

With the recent drop in temperatures, I've been running in my Rab Aeon T's and they do perfectly with slightly cooler than summer temperatures. Most of my runs (longer, slower paced) I feel as though I never sweat because of how quickly the fabric is wicking away the moisture. Very pleased.

Also been running in the Darn Tough Tab No Show Light Socks with the cooler temperatures. They're pretty comfy for sure, but definitely on the heavier/warmer side of things and seem to provide decent support/cushioning. I'm glad I didn't try these during the summer as I can tell they would have been too hot for my liking. I generally run with very very lightweight breathable synthetics that have minimal cushioning during warmer months.

Good question. There is a lot of “bro science” out there and a lot of people end up wasting loads of time on ineffective workouts.

A good one-stop-shop place to get started is the book Thinner Leaner Stronger by Mike Matthews. It isn’t exhaustive but if you read it and put it into practice you will be ahead of at least 75% of people in the gym in terms of knowing how to lift effectively. He also has a free podcast, “Muscle For Life”, that is really helpful too.

In a nutshell lifting can be put in two categories depending on your goals: cutting (losing a lot of fat while retaining as much muscle as possible) and bulking (gaining muscle while gaining as little fat as possible).

Your actual scale weight is more or less irrelevant, it’s really all about body composition (amount of fat relative to muscle, or body fat percentage).

Most women look best between 17-25% depending on their body.

Moderate to advance lifters basically have to either cut or bulk, so most bulk for awhile then cut, bulk then cut, etc. until they reach their goal. Think of it like 3 steps forward 1 step back.

Beginners who are just starting to train can do both at the same time until their body adapts to the lifting. This is an over simplification, but essentially your body is so under developed that you can gain muscle and shed fat until you reach a “normal” healthy body comp. This phenomenon is known as “newbie gains”.

There are three key components to building a great physique: lifting, recovery, and diet.

Lifting heavy weights puts unusually high stress on your muscles to the point where they are slightly damaged (catabolic). To adapt to the new level of work your muscles are being asked to do, during your recovery your body will build them back up, only stronger (anabolic). In order to recover well, your body needs a lot of protein and energy from your diet. Not only that, it needs a lot of sleep. This process is known as hypertrophy, which is a fundamental part of building a great body.

Energy balance is a very important thing to this entire process. As you go about your day doing normal activity you burn a certain amount of calories on average. This is known as your TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure). Most women probably burn around 1,800+- 200 calories a day (this number goes up as activity increases, so people who exercise regularly typically have a higher TDEE than people who don’t).

Someone with perfect energy balance (2,000 calories consumed, 2,000 calories burned) will not gain or lose weight. If they consume 1,800 and burn 2,000 the body will take the remaining 200 from fat stores. If they consume 2,200 calories and burn 2,000, the 200 excess calories are stored as fat for later consumption. Or, and this is the key, if the body has damage it will use these extra calories to repair the damage. Thus, to gain muscle one has to slightly injure the muscle, then eat a caloric surplus in order for the body to have enough energy and material to repair and strengthen the muscle.

This is a big over simplification but for functional purposes it is close enough.

As far as the actual lifting goes, heavy compound (uses multiple major muscle groups) are a great place to start. The squat, deadlift, and bench press are the “big three” primary lifts most strength programs are built around. Even if your goals are purely aesthetic, you’d still benefit from learning these movements and gaining a solid strength baseline.

There is a lot more but this should be plenty to get started. Believe it or not, the entire thing becomes a lot of fun and it is extremely motivating when you see your body start to change for the better!

Things I look for most in minimalist shoes are:

• Wide toe box where my toes and not scrunched together by the shoes.
  
• Not an overly tight wrap around the arch. For example, Merril Trail Glove was too tight, but NB trail running shoe (they don't make that model anymore) seem to be right on the money for me.
  
  Let me also causion you to transition to this sort of form super slowly and concervatively. I would actually encourage you to explore running completely barefoot at the beginning. The reason is that anything you put between your foot and the surface will effect your form. If you do start running barefoot, do not chose the softest surfaces like grass and track, run on pavement or concrete. This sounds counter intuitive, but these "unfriendly" surfaces will proved you with the best feedback.
  
  For example, you say that you'd like to reduce surface friction. That means that you'd like to reduce the push-off from the ground. If you run on grass or track you will never know whether you're pushing off because the surface is soft and not abrasive to the bottom of your feet. On the other hand, if you run on pavement and push off, the balls of your feet will pretty quickly develop hot spots and become irritated. That is your body's signal that you're pushing off instead of lifting your feet.
  
  You can use barefooting as a way to learn the form in the most expedious and efficient manner and run your cross country in minimalist shoes.
  
  That said, transition extremely carefully. You already have good cardio base and muscularskeletal adaptations, but your feet are not ready to run barefoot/minimalist. It should take you several months to be able to run a 5k in minimalist shoes.
  
  Here's one way to transition. This is where barefoot running is helpful. Take your regular shoes on the run. Start your run with 100 meters of barefoot running. Put on your regular shoes and run the rest of your run. Take off your shoes and do the last 100 meters barefoot. Yes, that is how little barefoot running you do your first day and increase slowly from there. It also helps to not wear cushioned shoes or going completely barefoot during the day, but, again, use causion and listen to your feet.
  
  The best book on the subject of form and barefoot running that I've read is this book by Barefoot Ken Bob Saxton: http://www.amazon.com/Barefoot-Running-Step-Shoeless-Technique/dp/1592334652 (btw, great book on running style whether you run barefoot or not). Other resources online:
  
  
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpnhKcvbsMM
  
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPnB669_P3k
  
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIL07uYAW-Q
  
• http://naturalrunningcenter.com/2013/06/21/learned-barefoot-minimalist-running/
  
  I will say it again, be super carefull. Your feet will take months to adapt to minimalist running. The rest of your running body will want to surge ahead, but your feet will not be ready. Try taking a long-term view of this transition. A year from now you want to be running healthy with improved form, not nursing stress fractures and achilles injuries.

Welcome to the sub. Wow lots of questions here.

First off the part you're going to most want to change is the lack of runs during the week. The more time on your feet, the easier a marathon will be. That said xtraining is very helpful (especially if you're injury prone) but just not as useful as actual running.

Hanson's is a solid plan, especially if you know the time you'd like to run the marathon in, and it's a reasonable goal. Other common plans that people have a lot of success with are:

• Hal Higdon (variety) -- these are mostly used for just finishing, rather than really racing or excelling at the marathon distance. If you're past that point I prefer the other available plans to his advanced stuff
  
• Fitzgerald 80-20 -- This is based on the latest science and training that elites are using but has 3 levels of plans based on how much time you want to run per week. It also encourages the use of a heart rate monitor for some runs.
  
• Pfitzinger Advanced Marathoning People get results on these, but they are hard and the lowest mileage plan runs 5 days a week and peaks with a 55 mile week (88km). This is probably not for you but does a good job explaining the physiological reasons for various training.
  
• Jack Daniel's Running Formula -- a great book for all distances and all plans can be scaled based on how much you run per week.
  
• FIRST aka runn less, run faster. This is a controversial plan but the crux of it is you run 3 quality runs per week (1 speed day, 1 long day, 1 LT day) and you crosstrain hard the other days. I haven't heard of people really improving from a good result to a great result with this, but among beginning runners it certainly seems to yield good results and it seems tailor made for triathletes.
  
  
  
  The most generic Best practices are:
  
• Consistent training over time trumps everything else (i.e. deal with those injuries early).
  
• More miles > less miles up until an absurd point or when it gets you injured
  
• Long runs are important
  
• do some speed work but not too much (80% easy miles, 20% hard)
  
  Also try reading the Order of Operations in the sidebar.

I assume the personal trainer has you do weights? You're very active but I see no dedicated weight training sessions.

"Toning" is simply stripping fat from your body to reveal the muscle beneath the surface; if there's no muscle to show off, there's no toning. Strength training will not also help you tone, it'll increase your metabolism, help your body burn more fat compared to not weight training, protect you against osteoporosis, give you more energy and tons more.

If I was you, I'd do at least 3 weight focused sessions a week and cut back on the HIIT and intervals. IE

• Weight training x 3 per week
  
• Horse riding x 2 per week
  
• Yoga class x 1-2 per week
  
• HIIT/Interval Runs x 1-2 per week
  
  There's all sorts of routines to follow. For females I typically recommend
  
  Strong Curves
  
  or
  
  The New Rules of Lifting Series specifically The New Rules of Lifting for Women: Lift Like a Man, Look Like a Goddess
  
  or
  
  Strong: Nine Workout Programs for Women to Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism, and Build Strength for Life
  
  The other side is diet. Just like weight training should be the meat and potatoes of your training regimen, well, meat should be the main focus of your diet. Or at least protein - you need a lot more protein in your diet.
  
  Protein supports lean muscle growth, which, as I mentioned, is needed to tone. Increased protein intake will also help your body preferentially burn fat, it will speed up your metabolism, protein "costs" a lot of energy to break down protein (if you eat 100 calories of sugar, 99 calories of that sugar will be turned into fuel for the body; if you eat 100 calories of chicken, only 70 calories will actually be converted and the other 30 calories will be "burned" while the body processes and breaks down the chicken into a usable fuel source), it gives you more energy, helps boost your immune system and more
  
  https://www.precisionnutrition.com/will-a-high-protein-diet-harm-your-health
  
  In short, lift weights, eat more protein

I don't know of any other books specifically for sequencing (although I'm sure they're out there!), but I can recommend a few yoga anatomy books if you're interested. Yoga Anatomy by Leslie Kaminoff and Amy Matthews is extremely helpful. Ray Long also has a ton of awesome books with amazing illustrations. I have one of his yoga mat companion books (the one on arm balances and inversions) and find it a great resource to my own practice.

That is a valid concern, and I think you will learn a lot from trial and error, but here are a few general rules I've found in my studies. Don't do backbends immediately after core strengthening exercises because tightened abdominal muscles make it harder to lengthen and extend the spine. Don't alternate between sustained forward folds and backbends because that can also strain the back. In standing asanas, try to separate and not alternate between ones with externally rotated femurs/hips (i.e. Warrior II) from those with internally rotated femurs/hips (i.e. Warriors I and III) to allow a safer opening of the hips. It's better to do externally rotated ones before internally rotated to set alignment. I also like to sustain a Tadasana for a few breaths toward the beginning of my practice to get a nice grounding and focus in on proper alignment.

Edit: Also, if you haven't already, I'd also recommend reading the Yoga Sutras. Although it's not specifically related to sequencing or anatomy, it's definitely helped me to deepen my practice and is a very valuable tool.

If you don't run barefoot, but think you could be interested, I suggest that, as it will strengthen your feet like mad...but take it easy and pay attention to what your feet are telling you. No pain, no gain, won't pay off here, just make you miserable. Before beginning a running routine, I'd suggest reading Born to Run for a fun, interesting, and enlightening true story read...it is very motivating, and will lead you to the rabbit hole. To go down the rabbit hole, I highly recommend reading Barefoot Running: Step by Step...do this before starting any barefoot running. This book the real deal, with very helpful and accurate information, with references to literature and research for you to follow deeper. The explanations of what to do, how to do it right and wrong, and why, but in very easy to understand language. IMHO and professional opinion. The only drawback is you have to wade through his personal story, but's still worth it.

For the issue of some or a lot of people having problems with what you do with your feet. Educate them, if that is a possibility...win them over with a dose of red pill. If not, and for other reasons, such as misguided store owners, restaurants, etc...I recommend Xero huarachas. The Ventures are the next best thing to barefoot me. They are inexpensive, and you can buy kits for DIY. I started with Ventures, then a kit. Nowadays, I make my own from scratch with my design improvements. Any of these suffice for shoewear where it is required. I've never had someone snicker at my sandals, rather I get positive comments, and "where can I get a pair".

If education doesn't do it, and your tribe/village are too intolerant, find new ones. I know, it's easy for me to say this...I live in an incredibly tolerant city (Asheville NC) where it is almost impossible to stick out like some weirdo. I was initially concerned about what people thought of what I have going on below my ankles, but with experience and time, I grown in confidence, and my care for what others think has unraveled to nothing...if they don't like it...pffft! It's their problem. I'll still be running when they are likely hobbled by knee replacements, thousands spent on crippling shoes and foot orthotics, and otherwise buckets of pain. I'm 51, and do about 20 miles a week, and only saw the light 3 or 4 years ago, thanks to the books mentioned above. I now hike barefooted, even a late summer trip up to a glacier field in Alaska last year.

• How did it go, how did you improve, and what were your ending results?
  
  PHAT was the most intense program I've ever done. Loads of volume, x5 a week training, it was just intense and the results were proper. I started ripping shirts, jeans, boxers... it was an unstoppable shredding mania. I didn't increase my lifts that much, but it was marvelous for bodybuilding.
  
  
• Why did you choose PHAT program over others?
  
  I was a regular at Layne Norton's simply shredded forum and the talk about x2 per week mix of strength and hypertrophy made lots of sense.
  
  
• What would you suggest to someone just starting out and looking at at this program?
  
  Don't do it if you are a newb (read the "The New Rules of Lifting: 6 basic rules for Maximum Muscle" first.)
  
  It's a very dedicated program, so tell yourself you're going to do it for a certain amount of time and go through with it.
  
  Respect the meso cycles.
  
  Eat and sleep well, the gains will be unreal.
  
  
• What are the pros and cons of PHAT?
  
  Cons: The time it takes, the volume of exercising, and the lack of gains towards your plateau.
  
  Pros: It's super dynamic, you go through everything. You see results really quick aesthetically and in terms of strength -- I was doing 40kg weighted dips weighing 90kg (6'2). You can alternate accessories all you want so it adds any component you want.
  
  
• Did you add/subtract anything to the program or run it in conjunction with other training? How did that go?
  
  I did PHD531, thinking of it... I'm not sure if the meso cycles are mentioned in PHAT. 531 talks about the progression to the strength part of your workout:
  
  Week 1: 5
  
  Week 2: 3
  
  Week 3: 1
  
  Week 4: Deload
  
  And the concept comes from Wendler's 531 strength routine (which is also great).
  
  
• How did you manage fatigue and recovery while on the program?
  
  Ate around 3000 cal/day, 30% Fat, 30% Protein, 40%, Carbs.
  
  Really respected micronutrient intake, water intake, and sleep.
  
  Also didn't drink alcohol for a whopping 6 months.
  
  Sleeping was key. You could really tell when it was lacking during a workout... shit, you could tell if you had sex too recent to the workout too now that I remember.
  
  Overall, PHAT (or PHD531) was by far the best time I ever had at the gym.

I've read so many books that I honestly cannot say that any particular one is the most important. However, here's a list of really good ones:

• Starting Strength. Mark Rippetoe. I've read all three editions. The books have greatly influenced the way I lift, especially in the obvious sense of proper form for barbell lifts.
  
  
• Practical Programming For Strength Training. Mark Rippetoe and Lon Kilgore. Simple explanations of a lot of things related to training even nutrition.
  
  
• Beyond Bodybuilding. Pavel Tsatsouline. Amazing book filled with numerous lifts with the goal of using strength training to develop mass.
  
• Relax Into Stretch and Super Joints by Pavel as well. If you have issues with mobility or flexibility, these books are awesome.
  
• 5 3 1. Jim Wendler. I'm fairly certain the majority of people know what this is, but if you haven't read it, I encourage reading both editions and the one for powerlifting, especially if you're running 5/3/1 right now. All three books are a huge resource for determining how to program assistance and conditioning.
  
• Easy Strength. Pavel and Dan John This was a great read. It was filled with tons of things from articles written by Dan John as well as just a massive look at how to appropriately program strength training for people at numerous levels.
  
• 4 Hour Body. Tim Ferriss. This was an amazing read. It, like Pavel's Power to the People, was a great read on complete minimalism of training towards a goal.
  
  I've read so many more books than that. Since these are the only ones that I can think of off the top of my head, I'd say that they are the ones that have made the biggest impression from reading them.

I don't know where you're from, but you should check out Ginástica Natural. It's a super cool bodyweight gymnastics exercise routine invented by Orlando Cani that draws itself from Yoga, dance movements, Kempo and Chi-Chuan. It's practiced by world-class athletes from all different sports, specially jiu jitsu.

I've heard great things about Coach Chris Sommer's Gymnastic Bodies: it's got a bunch of online resources to help you improve your flexibility and strength.

If your time budget is short and you're just looking for quick routines to do before and after class, you should check out the "Stretching" book, by Bob Anderson, with many stretching routines that help you get rid of your body's stiffness.

Finally, if you're super rich and don't mind joining a soft religion/cult-like movement, take a look at Ido Portal's Movement Culture. The guy's super controversial, but he really is very proficient at what he does.

Thank's for the kind words man. The short answer is I've been following this book. A second book I recommend is Starting Strength which discusses in depth proper form for the key weightlifting workouts (bench press, standing military press, barbell squat, and deadlifts).

Bigger Leaner Stronger taught me everything from managing calories, what to eat, how to manage macros, good vs bad protein powder, supplements, vitamins, work out routines, etc. It is basically my gym bible. But, if you aren't interested in taking the time to read these books (which I HIGHLY recommend), then I'll give you a brief rundown of my workout routine.

Workouts "phases" are broken up into 9 weeks. A typical 9-week phase looks like this:

Weeks 1-3: Regular week lifting at 5 days per week (mon-fri)

Week 4: Strength Week. Only lift mon, wed, and fri, but focus on key workouts (Barbell squat, deadlift, bench press, military press)

Week 5-7: Same as week 1-3

Week 8: Strength week

Week 9: Deload or off week. I either don't work out this week or I do three days at 50% of my working weight (so essentially a light week)

A typical 5 day week looks likes this:

Monday: Chest and Abs. Incline bench press. Incline dumbell bench press. Flat barbell bench press. Face Pull. Three abdominal circuits where one circuit consists of Cable crunch (10 to 12 reps), captains chair leg raise to fail, bicycle crunch to fail

Tuesday: Back and Calves. Deadlift. Bent over barbell Rows. Pull ups. Standing calf raises. Seated calf raises.

Wednesday: Shoulder and Abs. Standing Military Press. Side lateral Raise. Bent over rear delt raise. 3 ab circuits.

Thursday: Legs. Barbell squat. Romanian deadlift. Leg press. Standing calf raise. Seated calf raise.

Friday: Upper body & Abs. Incline bench press. Barbell curl. Close-grip bench press. Alternating dumbell curl. Chest dips. 3 ab circuits.

A typical activity includes 4 warm up sets and three working sets like this:

12 x 50% of my working weight (rest 1 min);
10 x 50% of my working weight (rest 1 min);
4 x 70% of my working weight (rest 1 min);
1 x 90% of my working weight (rest 3 min)

After this warm up is complete, I do 3 working sets. 4-6 reps of my working weight (if i hit 6 reps, I add 10 lbs to a barbell or 5 lbs to a dumbell) Rest 3-4 min. Repeat this 2 more times. A huge key to building strength is progressive overload. If you hit those 6 reps, add more weight. If you hit 6 reps and add more weight but can only do 3 reps with the new weight, drop it back to where you were before. But next week, start with the higher weight.

As far as diet is concerned. Yes. This is the biggest thing. I eat clean. I eat very clean. I don't eat processed foods. I only drink milk and water. I eat vegetables and chicken. Good fats, good protein, and good carbs. I weigh everything I eat to make sure i'm hitting my calories and macros. I track everything in my fitness pal.

A typical meal day for me is protein bar before workout. Protein shake and banana after work out. 2 hardboiled eggs and 175 grams of plain nonfat greek yogurt for breakfast. 4 oz tuna and some triscuit crackers + a carrot for snack. Chicken breast and veges for lunch. Non-sorbate prunes and another banana for a late day snack. Protein shake for dinner. Maybe some more protein and veges.

TLDR

Read bigger leaner stronger. If you don't want to do that then the key items are eat clean and within your calorie limits (you can lose weight by eating in a caloric deficit without even needing to workout). The most important weightlifting exercises are barbell squats, deadlifts, standing military press, and bench press.

As my post title states, I only do cardio 0 to 1 times per week which is hardly anything. It's not necessary for fat loss, but it will help accelerate fat loss and increase cardiovascular health which is important and which is also why I'm going to start adding more cardio.

Best of luck man. That book changed my life. I highly recommend it.

Just be fully aware that running hills will add an extra stress, so it's even more vital that you slow your pace to account for that -- hill or no hill, at this stage you still want to be aiming for an easy, conversational pace.

Knowing that, if you fail a run it's definitely trying to do the repeat on a flat course, just to test without the added stress.

The way it changes your times is ... it really doesn't matter. Forget how fast you're going, just try to run as far as asked and keep it easy.

"I have a bad habit of trying to run rather than jog" ... This is very common — I definitely started that way, too — but it's the number one thing I'd encourage you to work on, especially if you struggled with week 3. What definitely helped me most was reading up on running, and seeing that pretty much all the major coaches devise plans that focus mostly on long, easy running, even for advanced racers. Check out something like 80/20 Running or pretty much any of Hal Higdon's plans and you'll see it repeated time and again.

For instance, even Hal's 5k plan for advanced runners mixes speed work with "easy runs" that he describes as "a comfortable pace, not worrying about speed or distance" where you "think minutes rather than miles."

"You should be able to carry on a conversation while you run; if not, you’re going too fast."

As a former sprinter, I'm pretty sure running fast is not the issue for you -- but running fast for a long time probably is. So work on the "longer time" stuff now and add that natural speed later.

First of all don't think of it as a kick start. More of a gradual change and transition. This does not mean to lack dedication. What got me on the path of regular yoga was a firm desire to make it the priority in my non-working life. Also, finding a studio with an encouraging community is a big help. Much of yoga is an inward practice but it helps to have an environment of people radiating positive energy outward to keep you motivated.

Much luck in your journey. I practice Ashtanga. David Swenson's practice manual is great if you can't get to a studio. Try to avoid commercialized vanilla flavored practice DVD's. The help of a skilled teacher can pick out many adjustments to your practice that can save you from needless injury. It's impossible to see yourself in a pose while you are deep in it.

If you are looking for the meditative side I think you are best served in one of the styles more rooted in the heritage of yoga (Ashtanga, Iyengar and a few others). Everyone's path is different though. Try a few styles out but never mistrust your heart when it tells you that it has found a yoga home.

EDIT: http://www.amazon.com/Ashtanga-Yoga-Practice-David-Swenson/dp/1891252089/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1332167707&sr=8-1

Kino has A LOT of great videos...this is her introducing Ashtanga http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11C1021vKGU

Girl none of us are perfect! Don't fool yourself into thinking these instagram models, dancers, or anyone else is without flaws.


-so shaving. i've shaved for 15 years, i just found a method that works for me. i basically work in long vertical strokes in three areas: ankle to below knee, knee, and above knee to top of thigh. Bikini area is basically a grid method too. I use dial bar soap and venus disposable razors (Sam's club is the best deal on these). Ceramides are fats added to lotions to form a barrier over your skin to prevent moisture loss. Try amlactin ceraputic/rapid relief (though it smells funny and stings after shaving). You'll thank me later.

-if all you want to do is buff your nails and trim your cuticles, i think that's way better than the effort most people put in.
-eyebrows are a BITCH. that was my hardest skill. get a powder and a fine eyebrow brush, and clean thet line up with a cotton swab. don't worry about making the perfect, eyebrows are sisters, not twins!

-gym: there's a book by Bret Contreras called Strong Curves which is the perfect starter book for any woman who wants to go to the gym, and doesn't know shit about working out. extra booty emphasis. don't sweat this though, you sound like you're in great shape. cut yourself some slack!

-i think the most important thing working in a strip club taught me is that everyone who looks like a 10 walks into the dressing room looking like a total car wreck. same for IG models. filters and photoshop do SO much for you. don't aspire to be 'like' another person. aim to be the best version of yourself you can. feel free to PM me if you need any more help.

I am in a very similar situation at the moment. We started out in mediation and I believed it was for the kids benefit that I do the every other weekend routine (or, if I decided to take her generous offer, every weekend).

Once I asked for 50% parenting time she completely flipped. I have had several emails where she accuses me of being a danger to the children and recently she threatened to try and take out a restraining order after I drove off when she started to yell at me and charge up to my car to continue to yell at me.

I have several examples of her poor and contradictory behavior in email, and my lawyer has the same information now too. She has reported that she doesn't have enough money to run the A/C in the house, but that same weekend she got a matching tattoo with her boyfriend. She has even gone as far to contact my new girlfriend behind my back to arrange a meeting "for the kids". I am happy that my girlfriend is a licensed therapist and can not only see through her manipulation, but can also help me remain calm and vet my emails so that they follow the BIFF statement detailed in another comment here.

I live in a single party notification state, so I keep audio recordings of each and every verbal conversation so she can't misrepresent the situation after the fact.

In order to keep yourself balanced, make sure you surround yourself with good friends and talk to them. Seeing a therapist is also a good step and will be a positive item to the court. As she loses control over you and you quit reacting to her she will become more angry and more manipulative. Be careful as she will use others against you. Emails which are quite benign that I have sent have been answered with 2 page long invective's that repeat how I am a poor father and that I am snide, condescending and that I am constantly angry.

I recently picked up the following book from the library:
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

I have yet to finish it, but it has good information on how you should act, how to help yourself and your lawyer. You will be insulted in court, she will try to make you look like a poor father. The best defense it to know you are a good father and that you can show you are taking the high road.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, it is tough to have someone you thought had your best interests in mind to turn around and attack you with the intimate knowledge of your life. But this is really about protecting yourself and being the best you can be for your children.

I wish you luck.

Okay, I'm also quite new to yoga, but maybe I can give you a few pointers.

First, check out DoYogaWithMe. Super cool videos over there.

Next, consistency: you learn about your body when you listen to your body. Step on the mat, do your thing, as often as you can.

Furthermore, your boyfriend can help you by helping you correct some poses. He can see if your back is straight, for example, something which I have trouble with at times.

Lastly, I like this book. It shows form progressions, as well as beginner's variants to the poses which you can do at first.

Oh, and some encouragement: Super cool that you decided to do this. It's an amazing experience for your body. :)

That's great! Some possibly helpful recommendations/observations for you:

1. Get shoes that are right for you from a running store where they watch your form and listen to any issues you report. Keep up on the fascia rolling work and not just your foot trouble area. It's good to regularly foam roll your legs and glutes to help keep things aligned and knots worked out.
   
2. Motivation can be a tough battle. What motivates me is having a goal (eg. an "A" race) and setting not only a ramp-up training plan to it, but also some base training to get you there. Mix up your routes and hit some trails to make it fun. I have been triathlon training pretty solid since December 2015 with some lower volume off-season stuff, and I prefer the Matt Fitzgerald training plans. He has a running plan book called 80/20 Running. The idea behind 80/20 is 80% of the week low-to-moderate intensity training and 20% higher intensity. It helps prevent over-training and injury. Plus, it'll make things a little more interesting (less boredom with intervals).
   
3. I can't say I recall having an issue like this. Definitely go see a doctor, at least for a well-visit and physical exam. Tell them what you are doing, your goals/plans, and what you are experiencing with your chest. Request a detailed/longer analysis be done, like EKG, to help rule out any underlying or genetic things they can't find from on-the-spot exam.
   
4. With the exception of city life, you sound like me! I tend to workout later (usually bike trainer) after kids go to bed, and I sometimes run after dark with a headlamp. I'm not a morning person! I can't comment in particular to NYC and your location, but I would say to see about taking transit to a running spot if you can. Also, look for any local running clubs or groups. Start with a Google local search and Facebook groups search. Getting involved with a club is another way to stay motivated as well.
   
5. For running, I usually just start with 5-10min easy (HR in Zone 1, which is under 131bpm for me). My cooldown is about the same as the warmup, but note that it can take several minutes (if at all) to get your HR back to Zone 1, depending on the workout you are doing. If I am feeling particularly tight or off, I will do some dynamic movements to open hips, core, and arms/shoulders. These include single leg swings forward/backward or left/right in front of you, walking lunges, arm windmills, and left/right upper body rotation with legs fixed. I may sometimes do static stretches a little after a workout and never before. It's important to not over-stretch before a workout.

Some good ideas here already.

I'd additionally recommend Splitting, by the author of Walking on Eggshells.

https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

The advice to proceed as though she is borderline I think is sound, it's a hope for the best, but prepare for the worst tactic that can protect you. The advice to lawyer up is good I think, especially since you are able to take custody, best to start on collating data for that now. It's good you have other people behind you, stat decs from them will be invaluable, the more direct quotes statements contain, and precise dates and times, the better.


Hopefully Batmanrebirthed weighs in here, he has been in this situation and his kid seems to have weathered it well, now in his teens, and doing well in terms of friends and coping skills. He divorced a raging psycho too. It can be done and the kids are A-OK (get some therapy for them anyhow IMO, could work for you in court), you sound resourceful and smart, which gives you better odds.


As wife20yrs says, kids complicates the situation and there's no right answers. But if she breaks you the kids have noone making sensible decisions for them. So even if you only get partial custody, at least they have someone stable, sensible weighing in on decisions.

Keep writing stuff out, even the things you write here may be useful. Dates, times, direct quotes, corroborating witnesses.

Don't envy you man, stay around, write - get it out of your head and on to paper, but maybe recycle usernames in case she snoops on your devices.

My wife bought the book Strong Curves and she loved it when she did it. It was an excellent program for her. She was able to do 1 hour workouts and after a few weeks she looked great! She stopped the program after 10 weeks and kinda just does her own thing based off of what she learned from it. She was relatively new to the idea of lifting and this program showed her all the basics. Hope you enjoy it! I use a similar program for men called bigger leaner stronger. The book for that program goes into more depth in regards to the most up to date science of exercise and nutrition. You may find that to be a good resource as well.


Edit: looks like there's a thinner leaner stronger program geared towards women from the BLS author. That might be worth looking into as well. Good luck!

I recently read this book and it was a good place to start for info. He discusses routines, supplements, diet and a few other things. The writing style is a little bro-y, but overall it’s mostly good info.

Before I started the routine described in this book, I did 3 months of lifting with the help of the StrongLifts 5x5 app. It’s great for beginners.

I also utilize Scott Herman’s YouTube channel for help with form and to even find out what an exercise is.

Hope this is helpful. Good luck.

Bigger Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Male Body https://www.amazon.com/dp/1938895304/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ktK9AbM55JX16

Tactical Barbell II: Conditioning is, for my money, the most important book. It contains the "Base Building" program to get your conditioning kick-started, and is the most unique from other fitness offerings for how it explains to incorporate conditioning alongside strength training.

Tactical Barbell 3rd Edition is the current strength training book. It offers strength training that blends very well with the conditioning protocols in the other book, or used on their own. Most programmes you find for strength have workloads that aren't sustainable for people with active jobs, and this book offers several options for how to grow strength and stay useful at work.

Tactical Barbell: Physical Preparation for Law Enforcement is what I assume to be the third book you reference. It's a very focused book, and I've no experience with it myself.

Everything in the books can be scaled; all the conditioning workouts in TBII come with both easier and harder modifications, exercise clusters have their framework and reasoning explained and allow the reader to select specific exercises (can't do push-ups, then do incline push-ups, etc.), strength training uses percentages of your abilities so how strong you are now is irrelevant, and so on.

As I read your post I felt like I could have written it, except I've been in a relationship for 9 years and living together for 5 years and we have a 4 year old. It is very difficult to separate from someone you are living with, particularly when you have a child. You are absolutely doing the right thing by taking the steps to protect your and your child's future. Parents shape their child's view of relationships and the best thing you can do is to show them you are willing to do what it takes to be happy.

My partner is likely an N-personality type, but it may be another BPD. (I'll probably never know because the only time we did therapy, he turned the therapist against me.) I'm currently in the process of looking for a new place to live (again) and am gearing up for it to be HARD based on my previous attempts to separate.

I agree with what everyone else has said about making sure you have your support network in place before making a move. One book that I have found helpful is Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I'm keeping everything very close to the vest until I have all my ducks in a row (lawyer, therapist, new apartment, etc.) to avoid being sabotaged as we work through what the child custody agreement will look like. I live in a 50/50 equal parenting rights state. I too am really hoping to use a mediator and keep it out of court, but based on the advice I have received so far, it's probably better to have paperwork filed with the court so there is quick recourse if/when N decides to start gaslighting/sabotaging down the road.

Wish I had more advice to give, but just know you are not alone.

Find a good Yoga class, one revolving around stretching and relaxation. That's the best thing you can do for your flexibility. If you are unwilling to workout at a gym, get at least some good dumb bells and a good bar bell with some weights. You can now work any muscle in your body with those two free weights. As far as which exercising to do? well there's a wealth of information out there on weight lifting and I would suggest you take time to read a good amount of it while you get used to working out. This book is a really great resource for free weight/non-gym workouts.

No one can balance you out except you. All the answers you are looking for you have to find in yourself before you will be able to find them in someone else.

If you aren't already exercising, start there. I usually make this recommendation because it works for me. Read Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain if you need motivation.

I like to lift weights, swim, and run. I have done Martial Arts in the past but that is typically expensive and not a particularly good workout (unless it includes sparing). If you do these things regularly you will feel good. You will gain confidence. You will meet people.

If you really want to meet people join a team sport. Most of my closest friends I met through sports.

I think exercise and sports are some of the best ways to get myself out of my head and outside in the sunshine.

Honestly, I don't think I can recall anyone who has broke it down much better than Joel Jamieson. If you're willing to dish out some money, and want to break it down on a level that deep -- I'd probably look towards investing in his book Ultimate MMA Conditioning.

As a heads up, I wouldn't go into that book expecting to be given an easy template to follow. It'll require some calibration and experimentation. The rest of his site has some gold nuggets too. HIIT is good and all, but I can appreciate how Joel respects that you should have a good aerobic base before diving into HIIT to get an even greater benefit from it.

Another book worth looking into is K Black's Tactical Barbell Pt. 2 if you only care about the cardio aspect. It digests, and presents a lot of Joel's ideas that may better suit someone who's trying to self-program a routine in the beginning.

There are a lot of different directions you could go. Getting your drivers license I think would be a good place to start if that's something you want. It would help open up more opportunities for you. Have you ever tried to learn to drive? You could practice in an open parking lot with your mom.

Exercise is great for me when I get stuck in a rut. If you can do it first thing in the morning it really helps to get your day started out well. There are a lot of things you can do right in your room. Anything to elevate my heart rate is a big help for me. I like working out with kettlebells. You can also do jump rope or body weight exercises with minimal space/equipment. There's a great book called Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain that shows how beneficial exercise can be for you mentally.

As far as education there's the GED and for work everyone starts with no experience and gets a first job sometime. There are a lot of jobs you can do that don't require much social interaction. I worked fast food for a couple years and didn't work on the cash registers at all or interact with customers in any way.

You have a bunch of different options and opportunities. Pick one to start with and post again to let us know how you're doing or if you run into any difficulties so that we can help.

Sorry- that day got quite out of hand. (Not) incidentally, I have moderate-severe ADHD, with all the attendant issues with focus and follow-up. Though I don't have A.S., my husband does, so I've got a multi-faceted perspective on this issue.

I am learning to overcome the ADHD with a system I've designed for myself, from a few different things:

1. The Pomodoro technique. Basically, you set a timer for 25 minutes, and begin executing a task / objective. When the time goes off, you stop- even if you're not done- and re-set the timer for 5 minutes. You take a 5-minute break. When the timer goes off again, you resume your task, or take stock to make sure that's what you should really be doing. Here's the website, or download a cheat sheet.
   
   
   
2. Getting Things Done technique; I use the inbox / task flow / ToDo List methods. Combined with the Pomodoro Technique, it's a fail-proof system for ensuring I execute tasks in the order of highest priority, whether I want to do them or not. This system ensures I'm never wasting valuable time on inessential tasks, while elegantly preventing procrastination.
   
   
3. I keep a journal of what I'm doing whenever the Pomodoro timer goes off, below by daily ToDo list. It helps me see when I'm getting off track. The most valuable skill I've learned over the few months I've been doing this is the habit of thinking, "what am I doing right now, and how does it help me achieve my objectives?"
   
   
4. Also, an "Energy management journal:" I track my intake of food, sleep, water, and exercise. Though I don't do anything like graph the data, the act of writing it down holds me accountable, and increases the likelihood that I'll make wise choices. If I'm having an unproductive day/week, I can usually trace it to a preceding disturbance in one of the above habits, so I've learned to take care of myself, if I want to perform well.
   
   
   I recommend looking into whether any of the above could help with the challenges you're facing. My husband now swears by the Pomodoro technique; it helps him get started on larger projects, and also stops him every 25 minutes, so he's never hyperfocusing so long that he forgets to eat/sleep, etc.
   
   
   Speaking of body maintenance, the most important thing you can do for your overall well-being is exercise. Strength training is preferable, supplemented by cardio, but no matter what you're thinking right now, check out this book. Sticking to a regular weightlifting routine has improved my productivity far more than anything else ever did (even my Adderall prescription). When you feel physically better, far more things are possible. For further reference, check out these books, too.
   
   
   Tl,dr; Learn to manage your time & energy; you'll be better equipped to improve your own focus and follow-up. Meanwhile, your former therapist has no excuse.

Let's see...for Tu/Th/Sat you're saying kettlebells and Tabata? (intervals of 20sec/10 secs?) If it's a real Tabata workout where you're doing all out for each 20 secs, you should only do that once a week. Kettlebell training counts as weight training. To fully comment, I'd want to know your whole routine, but I'd maybe do one day for KB as a full body workout (I'd say NOT your tabata day) add in your strength sessions from there. Does that make sense? I love this book: http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Rules-Lifting-Maximum/dp/158333338X for great tips on what exercises you should use. I recently rented the eBook version from my library :) Let me know if you have any other questions. It's hard to do a complete program without doing a consult and all, but I'm happy to give you some quick tips to get you off on the right foot :)

While your brain is developing, at least until 23, I would recommend that you only use nutritional and aerobic supplementation to boost your own natural brain development. Phospholipids, cholinergics, omega-3's, ALCAR and other "memory enhancing" supplements are just giving your brain more of what it needs to make cell membranes and neurotransmitters to strengthen and propagate your neural connections, which makes for a smarter brain with more robust, plastic circuitry.

I got into nootropics when I was 23, but I had also been an alcoholic and taken ADHD drugs since I was in kindergarten, both of which interfere with brain development. I think this has made me a particularly high responder for someone my age (now 26) and I don't think I had much to lose from starting when I did. If you haven't experienced a neurally traumatizing event, however, I would recommend exercising every day (there's a great book that just came out about smarts and exercise) and eating everything your brain needs to make it the best it can be.

That's just common sense based off of what is known about all of this stuff. A lot of people can mess themselves up or waste a lot of money getting into and out of nootropics. We don't really know what it does to developing human minds, however.

I'm surprised studies haven't been done on this at some point, at least on a group of students aged 18 who could legally consent to such a study. I understand the ethical ramifications of giving this to children... but college students are going to do this stuff anyway. It would be great to get some data out of it and see if we should be saying "no no don't" instead of "we don't know."

Once you hit a healthy weight range it can get hard!

Personally, I like to focus on body recomp at that point (less on the scale and more on how I look).

What kind of cardio are you doing!? Constant Pace Cardio+Calorie Restrictions is not a good mix (in my experience). HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) max 25m/day and not everyday is probably the best way. The easiest would be 30 second sprint 30 sec rest/walk for 20-25 min. Work your way there example 20 sec sprint 40 rest/walk etc. What kind of Aesthetic are you looking for? Look at picture of marathon runners who are cardio junkie vs a picture of gymshark models who are focus on lifting heavy... That will help you pick your main focus. Not saying you shouldn't do both but spend a majority of your time on the right type! Personally, my pick is the gymshark models look so I go for lifting heavy with glutes focus (which also magically helps the core as well).

If you pick lifting as your main focus, you should check out Strong Curves by Brett Contreras, it's a really good one!

Good luck and don't get discouraged if you continue the gym+keto would probably end up looking freaking amazing faster than you think (I mean you already look good, but you know what I mean)! KCKO

FIT is the book I am constantly recommending to CF athletes. It's written by Lon Kilgore (who some of you may know from the 1st and 2nd editions of Starting Strength), Michael Hartman (Well known Olympic Lifting coach and strength and conditioning professor), and Justin Lascek (of 70's Big). The combined experience and knowledge of these guys is fucking awesome, and its presented in a way that anyone can understand. The book breaks down how to effectively program multiple domains of fitness at the same time. Here's the blurb from Amazon...

"Fitness is hard. Very hard. Everyone knows it is, but everyone is also willing to risk time and money on the mythology of easy fitness. If anyone, ANYONE, tells you that there is an “EASY” way to fitness, they just want your money. FIT is a book about how to get fit. It defines what fitness is in measurable, observable, and real-world terms. There is no mumbo-jumbo, just facts, practical information, and a logical approach to creating fitness from the first day of training through the day you reach your goal in fitness. No other training resource provides the reader the programming basics to specialize in one component of fitness or seamlessly program for comprehensive fitness and take the trainee from beginner to intermediate then to advanced and beyond - it’s a book for a lifetime of training. Exercise is dangerous - from 1 yard to 100 miles, 1 pound to half a ton, on land, in the water, on a bike - hazards abound and you need to pay attention to what your body tells you. But the body can adapt to much more than we give it credit for. If you use the concepts in FIT - no excuses, no whining, no shortcuts - and just get to the gym, garage, or wherever, and train hard, you will amaze yourself with results and how fast they are earned."

I’m a beginner myself, only just over one year. If you don’t have access to a teacher, there are some really good tutorials that helped me:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gFg4o5Zg75k&list=PLpfKu0U8zxt5OEvjSidi4_srjLcwvDhQd&index=2&t=0s
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-Va_P61H9IY
Purple Valley overall has loads of great tutorials.

Also, David Guarrigues: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-Va_P61H9IY - Mark Darby demo shows beginner adjustments https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2MghjERHHG8 - David Swenson short forms are a good when you are a bit short of time (or strength 😊) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf4mjtnSA40 (this one is 30 min - there’s a longer one too).

On that note I found David Swenson practice manual really useful https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ashtanga-Yoga-Practice-David-Swenson/dp/1891252089/ as well as Gregor Mahele’s one https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ashtanga-Yoga-Philosophy-Gregor-Maehle/dp/1577316061

It gets easier with time. Modify as needed. I still can’t do the 2 revolved ones you mention without modifying :) the important thing is the breath. Enjoy!

I read these two books:
http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254/
http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901/

They helped me understand the experience, understand the mistakes I made and that I'm not alone.

Talk to your friends. The first thing an abuser does is isolate you. Many of your relationships may not be where you want them to be. But you'd be surprised how strong they actually are. The reason I say this is because abusers have a pattern of going after people that are gentle caring people. And this means you have a strong network of friends. Go to them, and talk to them.

Take care of yourself. Make sure other things in your life are the way they want to be. Are you proud of your physique? Are you happy with where your career is going? Are you happy with your accomplishments? You're free from the overwhelming pain of a person that was emotionally insecure and made themselves feel better by putting you down. You are now free to write your own story without that crippling pain, go and write it.

All I do is be a magnificent student and human being. This book has helped me so much. Cuz I love STIMS. FUCK! I never knew drugs could be so awesome till I met stims.

Spark

It might seem like an advertisement but this book legitimately changed my perspective on a lot of things. Mostly stimulants, though. Yeah. Cuz stim addiction or stim..wanting?-- is a lot like ADHD.

Oh, shit, and uh, I realize my last post prolly didn't make it clear. I last took Adderall two weeks ago. Sometimes it's 6 months. Sometimes it's 2 months. Sometimes it's less... like, yeah, two weeks. I love adderall. My point was that I felt equal to what I felt on Addy or Vyvanse after 1.5 months of consistent exercise. Like, I legitimately felt as good as I felt on adderall 1 hour after exercising for the entire day... but the time that I felt that good on adderall was, like, 4 hours or something. I mean, I felt better than that for 1 hour, but then I felt worse than that for 2 hours (coming down).

Yes there is! Don't try necessary copy someone who is far more experienced. Like When you can't put your head on your knees just bend them, don't try to look like that guy/gal from a video/book. Most important is your breath, not how the posture looks. There are many ways how postures can look. Look up this book (side note David Swenson practice with straight back because he has issues with his legs - he walks like a duck. But ashtanga is meant to be practiced with round back - more benefits). In that book you will find pictures of different "how to" a pose can look. Also if you can save up for like one class of mysore per month/two that would be awesome. Teacher should be there to help you if you are struggling with some postures. Now for the proper yoga breath: it is called a free breath with a sound (not ujjayi breath). You are using only your nose and try to breath into your lungs and try squeezing your butt in (like you would if you really need to go to #2 :)) there should be a sound coming from your nose (not your throat). Imagine that you are breathing directly into your lungs and try "stoping" the breath going into your stomach - your stomach should remain almost motionless. And don't worry, it takes time. Just like in meditation everytime you drift away just notice that and go back to your breath. You can practice that breath even when not practicing yoga. It will actually strengthen your meditation practice also

> I read an article about some famous “fat acceptance” blogger dying from a heart attack while running on a treadmill

This person either had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, some other congenital arrhythmia, or else severe coronary artery disease that was already underlying. At 20 years of age, you do not have coronary artery disease, which is the process of cholesterol build up in coronary arteries that leads to heart attack. Every primary care doctor should be screening for hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and you can ask about it if you're concerned. It is easy to rule out.

Do not be concerned that exercise will be hard on your heart. Quite the contrary, raising your heart rate through physical activity is the best thing for your heart, hence why we call it "cardio."

> Should I keep losing best as I can tracking calories, or should I try some light exercise

Diet and exercise are synergistic. Do both.

> Any exercises y’all could recommend that are easy on my heart? Should I even be this nervous?

There are plenty of forms of cardio and resistance training that are great for you. It can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be. Try jogging or biking if you just want to dip your toes in. There is no reason to be nervous about your health deteriorating from exercise. The opposite is true -- developing an exercise habit now will add years to your life, both quantitatively and in terms of the quality of those years.

A good all-inclusive book I'd recommend is this one. It has a lot of good info not just on exercise, but also on diet and the mental game. Give it a read.

PM me if you have any questions, I'm more than happy to discuss.

Honestly, clean concrete or asphalt is probably the easiest surface to run on. I didn't believe it either until I got the technique down. But, it's true.

When I started barefoot, I ordered a couple books and did some reading.

http://www.amazon.com/Born-Run-Hidden-Superathletes-Greatest/dp/0307279189
and
http://www.amazon.com/Barefoot-Running-Step-Shoeless-Technique/dp/1592334652/ref=pd_sim_b_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1WV43D698B0HHYCVA8FJ

The first book is entertaining. The second book is instructional, and the most help in understanding the mechanics. Telling someone how to run barefoot is like trying to explain to someone how to chew. Think about that for a second, explaining a basic body mechanic isn't that simple to do because people just do it.

Barefoot running, when you're doing it properly, is like that. If something hurts, you're doing it wrong.

Now, I wont say that I run 6 minute miles. Again, I like running, but I wish I were more into it, I have a desk job and I'm old. My best mile is probably around 10 minutes or just under it. But, I usually keep that speed or around it the entire run. I can usually run the fastest at the end of my runs, after all of the joints have loosened up and my form is at it's best.

Buy a book and read if you're interested in it.

Some programs you might like.


>* Barbell Programs: Starting Strength, Strong Lifts 5x5, Westside for Skinny Bastards, and Greyskull LP are most popular. See /r/weightroom for more info.

• Bodyweight Programs: The Startbodyweight Basic Routine and /r/bodyweightfitness Beginner Routine are popular programs. See /r/bodyweightfitness for more info.
  
• Dumbbell Programs: The Dumbbell Stopgap
  
• General Aesthetics: Ice Cream Fitness 5x5, Casey Butt's beginner routine, Muscle & Strength's Long Cycle program, and AWR's Beginner Workouts are good for beginners. The book FIT contains a Beginner Mass Building Routine. Also check out /r/bodybuilding.
  
  >For more general info on Resistence Training, see ExRx's Weight Training Guidelines
  

  Conditioning
  

  Training your cardiovascular system to pump blood, and thus oxygen, throughout your body better. This is how you improve cardiovascular health and general endurance. Popular conditioning programs for beginners include:
  
  >* Running: Couch to 5K and the Runner's World 8-Week Beginner's Program are popular for beginning runners. See /r/running and /r/c25k for more info.
  

• Swimming: Zero to 1 Mile is like Couch to 5K for swimming. See /r/swimming for more info.
  
• High Intensity Interval Training: See this 8-Week HIIT program or Introduction to Tabata for examples
  
• Circuit Training: See examples like The Magic 50 and No Excuses, both by Ross Enamait. You can find more in Never Gymless.
  
• Jumping rope is also very good. See Punk Rope for ideas and details
  
  Read the FAQ right here for more details.

Ashtanga is awesome for building both strength and flexibility! You should check out David Swenson's Practice Manual: http://www.amazon.com/Ashtanga-Yoga-Practice-David-Swenson/dp/1891252089/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1451489201&sr=8-1&keywords=David+Swenson
It has helped me a lot in my own practice - and he breaks it down into shorter sequences of 15, 30, 45 mins if you don't have a full 90 mins to run through the whole primary series. I hope that helps, Ashtanga is a wonderful practice. Good luck! :)

First: you rock. 200 pounds is INSANE, nice work!

I've been really confused about this "starvation mode" myself. Let me give you all the info that I've found:

• Some people have given anecdotes that they found that weight loss slowed down and then increased again after adding calories. (Note: anecdote, and there no control for other factors)
  
• Some people have stuck through plateaus and the weight did eventually come off (again anecdotes)
  
  What I haven't seen is a scientific study that shows that not enough calories causes your body to somehow lose less weight. What I do know is that many people like the idea that they have to eat a certain number of calories (because they get to eat more!), therefore they are more likely to buy into the "starvation mode" stuff because they want it to be true.
  
  So take all that starvation mode stuff with a grain of salt. The best I've been able to find is that it's all anecdotal EITHER way. Whew.
  
  ---
  
  At this point, the reason you might be slowing down is because your body is getting used to things. Now this I have seen research on, AND I can confirm with my own anecdotes: Changing things up leads to faster weight loss:
  
  
• Zig-Zag your calories (e.g. do 4 days of high cals, and 3 days of low calories but have the total for the week equal what you're eating now in a week).
  
• Add exercise and eat back most of the calories (since you're already at the minimum caloric rate). So you asked the right thing by coming here.
  
• Add weight training: You can do this with your bad knees! Muscle requires more calories than fat so you will burn more energy even when you're idle if you have more muscle.
  
  Best of luck! My suggestion? Buy some free weights and read up on weight lifting. This is supposed to be a good book (I just started reading it myself).
  
  Add some cardio, even if it's just some walking. You'll get there. Find a cardio that you enjoy at least a little bit. As others have said, ellipticals are easy on the knee! Test them out first at a local store, you can get decent ones for around $400.

Could be a bit of everything. You should really not peel off your shoes and start running, especially into a run already where your muscle memory has been triggering a different pattern for 6K already.
I REALLY suggest this book. There's a lot of good information in there but the MOST helpful part are the "exercises" including a lot of funny walking in funny positions. You go to a big field and spend a few hours a week doing that and youll be right as rain.
What the funny walks do is teach your body the new muscle memory you need for a different kind of running. I am sure there are other good books/websites/etc with adaptation lessons - the point is take it slow, and learn to run again!

You might like the ashtanga sequence. It has a pretty good emphasis on strength and upper body compared to other styles, and it's widely popular so lots of good information is floating around. I'd recommend starting out with at least a class or two from a studio, and then you might like to check out a practice guide like Ashtanga Yoga: The Practice Manual or The Power of Ashtanga Yoga if you prefer more or less the same thing with a woman modelling the poses. Both have lots of useful information, I refer to David Swensons book quite often for my daily practice.

Look into sites like Lynda or Udemy. You pay between 10 or 40 euro's depending on the quality of the course & it's worth it. Making a website with php, sql databases (+html & css) are relatively easy. Aps for mobile devices are i think more difficult you either need Java or C# for that. Those are powerfull object oriented languages that will provide you with a whole universe of possibility's for creativity once you have mastered them, the websites i mentioned have courses for that as wel. You probably will get frustrated along the way, i found it to be challenging stuff- just keep at it. You could also consider investigating things like (zen) meditation in order to become calmer and improve your patience and also figure out which foods are good for the health of your brain, and exercise. those all help. https://www.amazon.com/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-Brain-ebook/dp/B000SFD21Q

After getting the courses it's all about the strength of your own motivation in order to grind through those courses in order to learn the skills.

Good luck !

Oh there's definitely upper and lower limits to the amount of volume and intensity that will be beneficial to hypertrophy and/or strength. I think Scientific Principles of Strength Training by Mike Israetel, James Hoffmann, and Chad Wesley Smith covers the factors going into all of that well enough if you're interested in further reading.


In the case of a study like this, I think there was too much volume or intensity for the Squats and Bench Press to be trained together in the study's High Intensity group. If you're going to do strength training on a similar schedule like they did in the study then you'd probably want to look at doing something like Tactical Barbell's Zulu program for a more reasonable volume and intensity arrangement. It has one working each exercise (Let's say Bench Press and Squat for example) on a Upper/Lower split twice a week. Intensity progresses in a wave like fashion for each microcycle (Roughly 70-75% 1RM in Week 1, 80-85% 1RM in Week 2, and 90-95% 1RM in Week 3) and volume is kept around 3-5 sets of 5 reps for Weeks 1-2 and then 3-5 sets of 3 reps during Week 3. The Tactical Barbell book has the full details and additional programs.

Are you on T? If you aren’t it probably won’t have as much as a dramatic affect, but weight lifting will help build a more masculine shape. Bigger Leaner Stronger is a great beginners guide to weight lifting and building muscle. Planet Fitness is a good gym, they’re cheap and open 24/7. Good luck!

How are you training? If you're not stressing your muscles properly, they won't grow. The fittit circlejerkers won't agree with me, but this book and this book helped both me and my brother gain large amounts of strength and muscle with a lot less time spent in the gym.

What kind of supplements are you taking? You should be taking creatine at the very least. Maybe some vitamins designed to increase testosterone production as well such as ZMA.

You may also have to just accept that fact that you won't get that big. Take a look at this chart. If you're in or around the "advanced" category for strength and you're not that big yet, you're just not going to get that much bigger.

My advice as a middle school teacher: Anticipation and Deadlifts. Adrenaline causes the shakes, once it starts flowing it's after effects stay for at least 30-45 minutes. So you have to anticipate the other persons attempt to engage you and either redirect, solve or beat them to the point of contention. I recommend solving. It's the most lasting solution. Next, I recommend deadlifting (and other large lifts i.e. overhead press, bench press, squats) because they cause large hormone dumps on your body and they stress (in a safe controlled way) your central nervous system. Do these safely and on a regular basis, at least once a week. In no way shape or form am I telling you to be a bodybuilder. Doing these lifts will not make you a freak of nature (illegal drugs, diet, genetics and freakish devotion do that.) You will however be more familiar with how your body reacts to hormonal changes. With more time you will be able to 'think over' the adrenaline. This is what the special forces are trained to do, use their brain effectively while the adrenaline is surging. Another positive benefit of exercise is your heart will be stronger to move and dissipate the hormones through your body (this is an un-cited guess I'm making so take it with a grain of salt). A third benefit of exercise that comes to mind is the increased endorphins (opioids) that stay with you and contribute to a zen like calm that will help you avoid shakes! Good luck!

For more on chemical signaling in your body and its relationships with exercise and diet I'd recommend this book and lecture. (the lecture is super long and takes a while to get going but worth it IMHO.)

TLDR; Anticipate to avoid adrenaline rush. Deadlift to dissipate and familiarize yourself with it.

From the top of the indicated article:

>The core of building a strong body is the Squat, Deadlift and Bench. Anyone that tells you otherwise is simply ill-informed. As a look at weight category competition powerlifters will show you, you don’t need anything other than these three to get big, strong and ripped.
>
I neglected the Squat and Deadlift for years, not realizing their fantastic all over body training effects. I wish someone had told me years ago.
>
Though more advanced lifters will do these ‘big 3′ in a split-routine, for beginners or those relatively new to these exercises, you’ll make faster progress training all three in the same workout, 3 days a week.

So you see, while he didn't read the /r/leangains FAQ, he is following directions according to Andy's site.

My advice to OP: if you are a beginner and you aren't comfortable doing this, then stop and move to a split. Deadlift on Monday, bench on Wednesday, squat on Friday. If your intensity is appropriately high, there is no need to train these muscle groups more than once a week. You might be interested in reading Beyond Brawn by Stuart McRobert and Body by Science by Dr. Doug McGuff. The former is what helped Martin shape his training philosophy and some of its principles (low frequency/high intensity and constant, linear increases) are clearly evident in both Martin's and Andy's training strategies. The latter is a strength training book that's geared more toward the general population rather than young male bodybuilders. I don't personally care for the super slow, time-under-tension strategy for lifting weights, but the book is an excellent, in depth review of muscle synthesis. Good luck!

BPD is really tough and creates its own set of issues with divorcing. You need to prepare yourself and there are some great resources that can help get you through this. I'd suggest two books, which are both quick reads: Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone With BPD or NPD and Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist. Document everything and keep a daily journal of events including care of the children. Learn everything you can about BPD and how to help your kids through this. Do not expect cooperation but be thankful when and if it happens. Best of luck to you - it's a tough road and I'm also starting the same journey.

Normally, I just have a little chuckle at these TIFU posts and move on with my day. But today I would like to make a suggestion for you. Pick up this book simply titled Stretching by Bob and Jean Anderson. The best thing I personally got from the book (other than how to stretch) is not to care what you look like to the outside world during exercise. And they have a great little section on getting into a running routine. Don’t be afraid to alter their suggestions and advance through their schedule faster or slower as you see fit. Exercise routines are not a one-size-fits-all sort of thing. Keep with it and, most importantly, have fun!

Awesome you'll do great! The two books I used to get an idea of my custom training plan were https://www.amazon.com/80-20-Running-Stronger-Training-ebook/dp/B00IIVFAEY , Runner's World Run Less, Run Faster: Become a Faster, Stronger Runner with the Revolutionary 3-Run-a-Week Training Program https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609618025/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_tgoNybD4BWG66 and you could use the running chapters from Be Iron Fit: Time-Efficient Training Secrets For Ultimate Fitness https://www.amazon.com/dp/1599218577/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_AhoNybMDF2E54. I'd recommend reading and then blending to make a plan that works for you. I didn't agree with all the run fast tips so blended with others. Also try and get these in paperback as there are charts and such that are hard to read via ebook version.

Good luck!

I'm glad to see that my fav yoga app has the most upvotes! Yoga Studio used to be the sole reason I owned an iPad, it's only been on Android for a few months. If you're an absolute beginner, you even have great sessions that last 15 minutes, great way to get started. Even just 15mins/day is enough to get you started into seeing benefits, making you want to go for longer sessions.

There's also the awesome book Yoga Anatomy

Here are some resources that have been incredibly helpful for me. :)

Books:

• Driven to Distraction by Dr. John Ratey -- I haven't read this one in a while, but I love Dr. Ratey. He is a great writer on issues of science, biology, and mental health.
  
  
• Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by Dr. John Ratey -- Sections on how beneficial exercise is in managing ADHD, depression, and anxiety.
  
  
• Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Dr. Russell Barkley -- Best book for adults with ADHD I've read. Backs everything up with science. Makes a very solid case for self-care and medication.
  
  
• Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World -- Hyperfocus == Deep Work. Use this philosophy to make the case to a boss or team about reducing interruption at work.
  
  
• Emotional Intelligence 2.0
  
  
• StrengthsFinder -- ADHD makes us painfully aware of our weaknesses. Learn what your strengths and positive personality traits are and how to build off them.
  
  Videos:
  
  
• 30 Essential Ideas You Should Know About ADHD by Dr. Russell Barkley -- Awesome series about the nature of ADHD. MUST WATCH
  
  Podcasts:
  
  
• The Value Of 'Deep Work' In An Age Of Distraction by Hidden Brain -- A podcast version of the Deep Work book if you're like me and have trouble getting through 200 pages.
  
  
• Embrace the Chaos: Why Disorder May Be Good For Us -- We may beat ourselves up over our struggles with structure, but here's a solid case on how less structure makes us more adaptable.

WEIGHT TRAIN. And dude, you'll love it cuz you'll feel soooo powerful and kick-assy.

I follow a routine found in book called "New Rules of Lifting." It's my and my co-workers bible. There's also "New Rules of Lifting for Women," which is okay, but you know, I like the feeling of following a program designed for dudes, who gain muscle a lot quicker than us womens....Almost like I'm fighting the patriarchy one rep at a time.

Have fun! And congrats on losing all dat weight.

No one should have to go what you did. If my STBX had a younger twin sister, you married her.

I am so glad you are getting out. Save this post somewhere because you will want to occasionally remind yourself what you were going through, when you start to forget the bad stuff and think maybe it was not so bad. Right now it looks like you are in emotional turmoil but at least you are breaking out of the fog. You also might find http://psychopathsandlove.com/how-to-never-get-involved-with-an-abuser-again/ useful. You already found /r/raisedbynarcissists so you might also want to visit /r/bpdlovedones

Since you have recognized codependent behaviors in yourself, you can use the advice in No More Mr Nice Guy (there is a pdf you can browse first) to work on that.

Two useful books on your upcoming divorce:

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family

I am about a year ahead of you, and my head is a much better place now. You can do it.

There isn't a beginner program per se, as every template is regulated by your current capabilities.

The strength book has templates for 2-, 3-, and 4-day/week lifting so frequency and exercise selection is entirely up to you (the book suggests exercises based off of your goals). All lifting in the strength templates is sub-maximal, whereas 5/3/1 includes maximal lifting on it's 1 days and the AMRAP sets.

The conditioning book lays out basic understanding of the different energy systems in your body and has templates for training them in different priorities. It also has a big collection of conditioning workouts which is worth the price whether you follow one of the supplied templates or not, IMO. This book includes the Base Building template which you may be thinking of as the 'beginner program' but it's purpose is to get your cardiovascular system to a good place for future training, not as an introduction to exercising.

Honestly, I recommend you spend the $15 and buy the Kindle version of both books. Whether you run the workouts or not there's good information to know (just like I don't run Juggernaught 2.0 but the book was money really well spent).

There are different types of stamina, something like steady state stamina can be improved by long consistent cardio. Krav type workouts, you are going to want to get good at HIIT training, which will help you perform tasks at a high intensity and recover quickly.

The guys & gals over at r/fitness should be able to point you in the right direction as to HIIT workout plans. Tactical Barbell II: Conditioning has great and varied HIIT workouts as well.

Are you interested in becoming a massage therapist, is that what you mean? What sort of self care are you talking about?

I don't know of any books or packages of information describing specific self care techniques for therapists, but maybe there is one out there. I just use the knowledge I have attained over the years and apply it to what I do, and what I need to fix with myself - and what I help my clients with.

Having knowledge and having awareness in nutrition, physiology, anatomy, remedial exercises/kinesiology ect. is all very important.. I could list text books which pertain to these areas, but I highly doubt you'd want to spend the money or time haha D:

There are some good stretching books out there here is one for example - I was told to buy one similar to it when I was in school, but I never did :s

If you know all the muscle oia's of the body, you shouldn't need a stretch book. This is a good book for a muscle visualization

if you are wanting to become a massage therapist though, I recommend you go to a reputable college and take the course, even if your area isn't regulated or not. It's totally worth it.

I read the Art of Expressing the Human Body and it describes what kind of training Bruce did through the years. It is a pretty cool book that I suggest thumbing through every once in a while.

That said I am pretty sure Bruce also worked in the lower rep ranges as well although I will have to look through the book to be sure.

Another thing also was that Bruce was a nut when it came to reading about fitness. Obviously if he were alive today he would be training a lot different due to the vast amounts of data/information we have been graced with via the internet. There has been no better time to be into fitness.

I started My Marathon and have a little bit of First Ladies of Running left. Haven't started Running with the Buffaloes yet - but that's high on the list to pick up once I finish those two.

My 'wish list' highlights right now include Duel in the Sun, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, The Barefoot Sisters Appalacian Trail books Southbound and Walking Home, Swimming to Antartica, and Physiology really fascinates me even though I only understand a fraction of it so I kind of want to check out Running: Biomechanics and Exercise Physiology in Practice, 1e

I also have a couple of business related books (But those are boring. I just feel like I have to read them to stay relevant in some conversations.) I need to get through, as well as some good fiction reading in just to detox the brain. Haha. Archer has been taking precedence over that before bed lately though.

In the Barefoot Running Step by Step book, Barefoot Ken Bob talks about a friend who uses Plasti Dip to coat the bottom of his socks. Plasti Dip is just liquid rubber so once it dries the socks will have a light layer of protection/padding on the bottom.

Apparently these allow for a more barefoot-like feel of the road as compared to VFF or Minimal shoes and they allow you to run in the winter while still being as close to barefoot as possible. The best part is you choose the socks that fit you best or that you want to use (can even use toe socks). The book suggests wearing the socks when you coat them (use a foam paint brush) which means hanging out in a well ventilated area for 45 min. or so.

For less than $10 you can get a jar of Plasti Dip and a pair of socks, and the jar will last for multiple pairs of socks. Sounds like a good deal to me, I've been thinking about trying it.

EDIT I missed the part where you can't wear the VFFs at work and are looking for a replacement. The rubber coated socks probably aren't a good solution for your problem.

I would follow one of these templates.

All of them are great for strength training, I personally would go with Option 2, but that's just me. Option 1 is great also.

Also, I would get the books and read through them. They're the basis for the program (and they are pretty cheap on Kindle- see sidebar), so they're the gospel in that sense.

Most important thing, with any program, is just eating right and being consistent. Take it slow, don't get injured, and just be in the gym 3x a week and you'll see results.

Edit: Sidebar links are actually broken lol. Here are the links for I and II.

Book I: Strength

Book II: Conditioning

Not just a matter of beauty. Physical well-being results in improved mental functions as well!

You don’t have to buy into sports or competitive gym culture to feed your brain some good hormones; there are plenty of enjoyable physical things for intellectual types to do, from hiking and backpacking to dance to traditional martial arts. Or just plain running like Murakami.

You should check out the book Body by Science by Dr. Doug McGuff.

Read up on the super slow movement.

When you lift that often you don’t actually engage all your muscle fibers and you inhibit yourself.

And cardio can be accomplished by super slow.

Lots of good science in that book.

I lift heavy weights every 7-10 days and I’ve seen so much gain in muscle mass comparatively.


Works better with fasting as well.

Excellent question. I highly recommend nearly all your training be done using the Maffetone heart rate formula: 180-age as your max heart rate. This will seem slow but is key to fitness.


https://philmaffetone.com/method/

I would get a copy of this:
https://www.amazon.ca/Primal-Endurance-chronic-carbohydrate-dependency/dp/1939563089

Weights: read this book

https://www.amazon.ca/Body-Science-Research-Program-Results/dp/0071597174

(Lift once a week)

Triathlon Taren podcast and
Primal Endurance podcast

So much great information there.

David Swenson's Practice Manual is an excellent reference. I too came to Ashtanga with an established practice and struggled whether it was best to stay at a specific posture, to modify, or to skip and move on in the series (See Post). The even more difficult question was deciding if because I was able to do a posture, I should.

The lesson I learned was to stop setting expectations and competing with myself, to listen to my body and give myself permission to modify or not do a posture from day to day or minute to minute. It would have been so much easier if I'd had a teacher to lead me through the series, but the body is the greatest teacher. We gain all the benefits of yoga regardless of the postures we do or the modifications we make.

I can empathize with you. Most of my time running is spent questioning all of my life choices that led to me running for "fun".

One thing that has really helped me is reading the book ChiRunning, by Danny Dreyer. The book teaches a technique for running, similar to what Total Immersion does for swimming. The running technique has helped me to run farther and faster than I ever did before (which isn't saying much because I'm still slow) while using much less effort and with fewer injuries.

But more than anything, it helps me to view running as "run practice" instead of "run training." Each time I run, I'm focusing on running better - rather than focusing on running farther or faster. I'm constantly striving to run perfectly, which is more motivating than simply striving to run. That shift in mentality helped me to actually look forward to running, which is basically a miracle for me.

Some people (myself included) would tend to recommend that teenagers not get too obsessed about stuff like this. Just eat healthy, exercise, stay safe and out of trouble, try new things (like sports), learn and learn to like learning, and have fun.

You have plenty of time to become "seriously fit". Bruce Lee, who I've heard some people jokingly call 'the fittest person ever,' didn't start exercising (cardio and strength training) until he was about 24[1].

As long as you're growing and making progress, worrying about the extra details aren't necessary.

1. Bruce Lee: The Art of Expressing the Human Body.

I’m so sorry for how hard your life is with this man. You are living on eggshells! You deserve freedom.

I highly recommend the book “splitting“ - it will help you keep yourself safe if/when you undertake the difficult process of leaving a narcissist.

https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

Good luck! You can do this! I highly recommend posting over on /r/narcissisticabuse

I was in your exact situation, except it was the time between two jobs. I did the effortless superhuman program in Tim Ferris' 4 hour body 3 days a week and did treadmill sprints for 20 minutes the other 2 days. I definitely got stronger doing it.

If I was doing it again, I'd do Tactical Barbell. Its a similar program in that it is minimalist with a focus on lower rep compound exercises, but has a better programing structure in my opinion.
It was designed for military people who had a strength need, but had other demands on their time and conditioning. I ran 2, 6 weeks cycles during a cut and still got stronger.

You could either do 3 exercise clusters (say Squats, Bench and pull-ups) 3 days a week, or two exercise clusters twice a week for 4 days lifting and do cardio on the other days. Feel free to ask any follow-up questions

Awesome post and great comments, some really good advice all around.

Well done on getting this far friend.

This book may be useful to your right now

Please read the book SPARK by John J. Ratey, MD. Specifically chapters 3-5, but the whole book is an excellent read. It will help you understand how exercise will help you with bouts of stress, anxiety and depression.

It might offer you some valuable insight as to what is going on in your brain. Good luck and keep with it!

I highly, highly recommend you get a copies of:


Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

and I sincerely wish you the best outcome, whatever that winds up being.

Not ugly. So you want curves? and /r/xxfitness

Stop plucking your middle brows They're too far apart. Let them fill back in a bit. (On second thought it might be the angles of the photos... They just seem a few mm too far apart. Just a little)

Go to /r/skincareaddiction or /r/asianbeauty

Most of us feel better and look better with some makeup. If you're really thinking you have wrinkles and bags then you should probably find a therapist and invest some time and effort into loving yourself. You deserve to love your body

I try to get in a full practice whenever I can, but when that is not possible I use one of the short forms in David Swenson's Ashtanga Yoga book (linked below). I figure that some yoga is better than no yoga and the book includes 15, 30 and 45 minute version of the primary series. The rest of the book has fantastic insight into each pose of the beginner and intermediate series too. Good luck with your marathons!

http://www.amazon.com/Ashtanga-Yoga-Practice-David-Swenson/dp/1891252089/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1396026720&sr=1-1&keywords=ashtanga+yoga+the+practice+manual+by+david+swenson

The book is Thinner Leaner Stronger by Mike Matthews. My wife and some of her friends have followed the advise there to great effect; the example transformation pictures are definitely achievable. As for the “thinner” in the title, don’t worry about it. In the book he talks about bulking, which is what you need to be focused on.

Also, when you go to lift weights and want to know what proper form looks like check out Jeff Nippard’s videos on YouTube. He breaks it down extremely well with high quality video.

Light On Yoga has been enormously influential for me. A wonderful resource even for non-Iyengar people.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0805210318/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1407672746&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40

Yoga Anatomy has some of the most detailed illustrations of asanas I've ever seen and includes a huge amount of alignment information.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1450400248/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1407672879&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40

Lastly, my personal favourite is The Power of Ashtanga Yoga. It could be argued that other books have more asanas or more detailed descriptions (see above), but this book is my favourite because it helped me figure out what it means to be a young westerner practicing an ancient tradition from India. It also helps that the author is very open about the challenges she faced in her practice, which is refreshing and encouraging when I work on mine. Highly recommended.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1611800056/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1407672988&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40

Absolutely... I happened to find keto worked for me (it isn't for everyone) and I used MyFitnessPal.com to track my food. Once I got a handle on what I could eat, and how much of it I could eat, I started to slack off on logging, but kept to "Lazy Keto". I started off at 220-230 and I weigh 168 right now. The last 10-15 lbs are proving to be a challenge so I will probably go back to logging to make sure I am not being too "lazy". I use keto, running and short "Body By Science" intense strength sessions because that combo seems to work best for me. I'm almost 50 though... I wish I had started when I was your age.

If your goal is truly to gain muscle then I'll recommend you try a proven program for that like [Thinner Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Female Body] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1938895312/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_AMg-Ab58M256B).


You might also find /r/xxfitness better for your questions.

The bandha yoga books look awesome! I just spent some time looking through the Vinyasa Flow book on their website and it looks extremely helpful. I started yoga about 4 or 5 months ago and I gotten Yoga Anatomy by Leslie Kaminoff and though I like it and it's pretty cool, there are a lot of terms that many people might not be familiar with if they haven't taken an intro anatomy class. Those arrows on the 3D images make all the difference! I am putting this on my list of "next books to get"

I believe that's from The Art of Expressing the Human Body which is a great read. Lots of great ideas for working out and Bruce's ideas are awesome motivation.

There are always cheaper ways to partake in yoga, you just need to be resourceful.

1. Most yoga studios offer karma (aka pay what you can) yoga classes
   
2. If you have a lululemon near you, they usually offer once or twice a week free yoga
   
3. Sites like meetup.com have yoga groups that are usually free or really cheap
   
4. Does your city have a Park and Rec guide? You can usually get cheap yoga through an avenue like that.
   
   I'd suggest going to a few yoga classes before relying on a dvd to follow. Once you've done that, you can definitely grab a dvd and work through the routines at home.
   Personally, I use the following book, there is a section in it for 15/30/45 minute variations of the ashtanga practice. But you should definitely attend a couple of classes before trying to do ashtanga on your own.
   http://www.amazon.ca/Ashtanga-Yoga-The-Practice-Manual/dp/1891252089
   
   

Yes, check out the book Body By Science. Great book on High Intensity Training that happens to use machines which are particularly good for that type of training (though any type of weight will work). This sub is allergic to the word machine. You'll be fine with them and gain strength and no your joints won't explode from 'weak stabilizers'.

Losing weight, in a way, is easier, because even if you do nothing your body is going to burn 1500-2000 calories all on its own. (Depending on your lean mass quantity / weight.) So if you control the input and do jack shit... you'll still lose weight.

Gaining muscle, on the other hand, means you have to

1. Eat enough to be in a caloric surplus
   
   
2. Get 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight, maybe a bit more.
   
   
3. Get to the gym often and lift heavy weights.
   
   So... there's the three things you have to do. I highly recommend this book for a scientifically backed approach to this:
   
   https://www.amazon.com/Bigger-Leaner-Stronger-Building-Ultimate/dp/1938895304
   
   As far as "small lifestyle change" to get stronger.... body weight exercises like push ups and pull ups... but even there, once you can do 10 or so of those, you build endurance more than size.
   
   Try this: one hour at the gym lifting weights three times a week, and don't waste any time doing cardio while there. Check your video game stats, I'm sure you can find three hours a week. After a year that will be over 150 hours of working out and I can assure you you'll be stronger! 💪

Let's see. For neuroscience you could start with one of these guys:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000W6OS96/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687642&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B000NOC52Y&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1F8SBTCB11Y6Y5YWT2QD
You could go with the neuron, or possibly any of the microbes if she's worked with them in her research.

For yoga: she probably already has a nice mat. But if she's into hot yoga or power yoga that can get really sweaty. They make nice microfiber towels for mopping up the sweat, and little bags of rosin to help with the slipping that can happen from that.
http://www.amazon.com/Aurorae-Yoga-Rosin-Slipping-Sticky/dp/B003329SIM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1450241531&sr=8-1&keywords=yoga+rosin

If she's a reader there are some interesting books on the science behind yoga and how it affects your brain and body.
http://www.amazon.com/Yoga-Anatomy-2nd-Leslie-Kaminoff/dp/1450400248/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450241600&sr=1-3&keywords=yoga

http://www.amazon.com/Science-Yoga-Risks-Rewards/dp/1451641435/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450241651&sr=1-1&keywords=yoga+science

I think I'm out of ideas now. Hope this helps!

It's really hard to do. First and foremost, speak to an attorney. Don't give her any hints that you're planning to divorce her in advance. My post history from a couple of years ago shows all that I went through, including claims that she had already called the police on me (she had not. and I called the police the next day to see how I could protect myself), breaking into my email to get my correspondence with the attorney, and not being honest about large amounts of debt.

I recommend this book - Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with BPD or NPD. It is a good understanding of the steps you can take, and what is and is not within your control during the process. I'm not diagnosing your wife with any sort of certain illness or disorder, but I will say the behavior you describe certainly has a Cluster B flavor to it. In fact, the way you wrote about her objections to therapy are nearly word-for-word what I dealt with over the years when trying to get her to go to couples counseling with me.

Another person in this thread mentioned projection with your wife describing Laura as a Narcissist, and I experienced that as well. I wasn't falling back into the cycle of staying in the marriage yet again to make it work, because I always believed her that things would get better. She finally went to a talk therapist. Once my ex realized that, I was accused of being a sociopath, and that her new therapist agreed with her that I was the cause of all her mental and physical problems. The therapist I had never met, and during her first session.

What truly helped me was individual therapy for myself, and finding a group of people in /r/BPDlovedones who had bizarrely similar experiences to my own over the years. I was pointed there after telling a bit of my story in /r/Divorce and some users suggested I go take a look. It took a lot for me to understand just how toxic the relationship was, and my part in that cycle. Hell, I even had a similar experience in discussing my concerns with her parents, and that being used against me by her.

I also recommend the books Boundaries, and Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life. Stop Caretaking was probably the best one for giving me concrete examples of how my own behavior and thought patterns were part of the problem.

It took me a long time and many false starts to leave that unhealthy relationship. I wish I had the knowledge, strength, and courage to have done it sooner.

the easy way to fix this is to concentrate on placing your other foot gently, your body automatically should take care of lifting the other foot off of the ground.

most of the running form questions are covered in barefoot ken bob's book Barefoot Running Step by Step

good luck

It's not supposed to be easy. Start with your arms as far out on the stick as possible. That makes it easier. But it's something you need to do.

Essentially, your problem is that you lack basic mobility. That may sound harsh, but it's true. Your restricted range of motion has nothing to do with being big. Watch the super heavyweights in olympic weightlifting. Three hundred pound guys with no problem getting into an ass-to-grass squat, with the bar overhead in a snatch. Your problem is that you have let your muscles tighten up.

The good news is that mobility is every bit as trainable as strength. You just have to do it. And if you're going to avoid injury down the line doing any sort of physical activity, you're going to need to address that. Mobility WOD has a lot of great exercises for helping with mobility. The book Fit, by Lon Kilgore, Michael Hartman, and Justin Lascek, has a great chapter on mobility.

Not sure about online references, but this book is great. It shows the muscles that are engaged and lengthened when doing most poses. It also gives you a fairly good idea of how the poses should look in their full extension.

Yoga Anatomy by Leslie Kaminoff

u/Significant_Cupcake you are doing the right thing by cutting it off now. What you described gave me chills & brought me back to my divorce. Splitting up with someone who can’t be honest when are obvious can have it’s own unique challenges. Not sure how / if your wife fits the NPD / BPD mould, but if she does consider getting this book, it was very helpful for me during my own divorce. Good luck brother.

First, let me say, I cannot really provide a solution for you, but I can share what has worked for me. I have not been as overweight as you but I have at times in my life been significantly overweight (not in mass but in % body fat) and as I am becoming older, I had found it increasingly difficult to control. My point is, you need to try things to see what works for you. Keep a daily journal of how you feel (energy, attention, brain function, etc) so you can do some experiments on yourself.

What has worked for me is adopting (what appears to be the latest fad) the paleo/evolutionary fitness model for diet and exercise. I eat little or no processed foods (e.g. read Pollan, and other rules of thumb...if it doesn't spoil, don't eat it, never shop in the inside area of the supermarket, if it comes out of a box, don't eat it, etc.). I don't drink soda, juice, or anything with sugars (just unsweetened coffee or tea, water). I eat a lot of meat, eggs, fish (no worries on fat content...my favorite lunch is a sandwich from the local deli called the Three Little Pigs, without the bread, it is smoked ham, pork bbq, and bacon). I eat some dairy, primarily full fat and fermented, like Fage Total plain yogurt (with a little fresh fruit and shredded raw coconut). I eat all my favorite vegetables slathered in full fat butter (from the farm if I can get it). This may sound like a low-carb, Atkins type diet, but it isn't. That isn't to say going low carb won't help you lose fat quickly. Nevertheless, it isn't the main point. The main point is to eat as our ancestors did some 10,000 or more years ago, as evolution has not caught up with our recent use of grains in our diet and certainly not processed foods. Another thing I do is intermittently fast. At first somewhat forced, but now just because I am not hungry. I can typically eat dinner (say around 5pm) and not eat again until around lunch the next day.

As far as exercise, I avoid long aerobic activities unless in pursuit of yard work, handling the kids, or sport (like tennis). No treadmills, distance running, or biking. I do walk or ride a bike for transportation, but I am not getting winded. I do lift weights, usually once a week, using only large muscle groups and free weights, and very intensely. It takes about 20 minutes, but given its intensity it is brutal...but over quickly. I introduce a bit of randomness into the exercise frequency and variety of exercises (e.g. maybe twice in one week, maybe I will do a bunch of pull-ups one night or push ups). Sprints are intermingled with this, sometimes just as part of playing with the dog. Again, the point is to expose the body to stresses in an irregular but intense pattern, as perhaps were encountered by our ancestors.

The result is that I am probably a month away (after approximately 9 months total) from having washboard abs, I have great energy levels, stamina and focus. I no longer wake up with aching joints. I don't get low energy levels after eating (unless I really stuff myself). Keep in mind, I am in my 40s. I was 210 and very soft and pear shaped when I started, now I am 185 and back to a youthful V shape.
The only negatives I can speak to is a diminished ability to find quick and convenient food sources and missing bread, pasta and a pizza once and a while. I really don't miss sweets, but I don't think I was that hooked on them in the first place.

Finally, let me give the sources that drove me in this direction. Take a look and see if you are interested in trying it. As I said, I can't say that it will work for you, but it has worked for me.

Websites:

Art Devany http://www.arthurdevany.com/ Evolutionary Fitness

Keith Norris http://theorytopractice.wordpress.com/

Mark Sisson http://www.marksdailyapple.com/

Richard Nikoley http://freetheanimal.com/

Seth Roberts http://blog.sethroberts.net/ (more about self-experimentation and the value of fermented foods)

Weston A. Price Foundation http://www.westonaprice.org/

Books:

Gary Taubes, Good Calories, Bad Calories

Little, McGuff Body by Science

Weston A. Price, Nutrition and Physical Degeneration

Mark Sisson The Primal Blueprint

One of my friends swears by ChiRunning but I haven't read it yet (though its on my list). Also, The Barefoot Running Book is supposed to be great.

Not form, but I've also heard really good things about Race Weight

This or This is a great book that covers all the basics very well. I would suggest giving it a read.

Also, ask one of the trainers at your gym for form advice if you ever feel like you need help on something specific.

Barefoot Ken Bobs book has a lot of good advice about barefoot running form. The basic thing I got is to lift your foot almost the instant it lands, and also to curl the toes up before landing.

In practice both of these are nearly impossible or at least very difficult to do, but they're a useful mental cue.

I used to get the same thing, but lately with focus on using lean for forward movement, and the above two prompts (aiming for minimal to no horizontal friction on the foot during the ground phase) I don't have this problem anymore.

This video is also a nice summary of good form, and inspiring barefoot running - https://youtu.be/zSIDRHUWlVo

Yeah, look at the Zulu template example. It has a single lift most days of the week in addition to another workout.

TBII is Tactical Barbell II: Conditioning. It goes in to detail about the other workouts Endurance, High Intensity Conditioning, Strength Endurance) that are talked about in some of the example templates that TBI goes into. Super helpful if you're wanting more than just regular barbell training. I feel like TBII really helps round out and fill in some of the blanks from TBI.

Tactical Barbell is king in this category imo. It's strength & conditioning for military operators, cross-training athletes and the like. Combines simple undulating periodised strength templates with a structured approach to conditioning which includes aerobic base building, strength-endurance, work capacity and HIIT.

TB1 = strength book (covers max-strength + strength-endurance)

TB2 = conditioning (cardio, energy systems, base-building)

https://www.amazon.com/Tactical-Barbell-Definitive-Strength-Operational-ebook/dp/B01G195QU2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1473913817&sr=8-1&keywords=K.+Black

Try moves that increase the flexibility in your hamstrings. I know thats pretty vague but its a giant tendon that is responsible for a lot of movements. Take a look at "Stretching", by Bob Anderson. Probably the best book for just stretching IMO, even has climbing specific stretches.

They will be a step in the right direction. I'd suggest ChiRunning as a good book if you're interested in running form, also Gordon Pirie has some good things to say. Just make sure you do some running drills and ease into distance when adjusting your form as muscles will not be used to their new jobs.

Then I question whether you were happily married all these years.

These books may be helpful. Good luck.

Read a lot. Learn all you can. Learn to use the free weights and how to do exercises correctly.

Here's a great starter for 12 bucks. Alwyn Cosgrove is legit. http://www.amazon.com/New-Rules-Lifting-Maximum-Muscle/dp/158333338X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330998969&sr=8-1

Best of luck in reaching your goals! There is a lot to learn, but a ton of resources to help you.

Get the book Stretching by Bob Anderson and enjoy the wonderful world of flexibility. I went from having very little flexibility in my hips to being very comfortable with the more difficult submissions and sweeps.

A book can be helpful for learning weight lifting techniques. I used The Art of Expressing the Human Body by Bruce Lee. That book is full of great instructions, pictures and illustrations of proper weight lifting techniques. The machines he used may be considered primitive by today's standards but the underlying pulley mechanics haven't changed even if the equipment looks fancier. Read up, plan your workout before you go in to the gym and just concentrate doing your planed routine for the day. Bring it with you and use it for reference if you need to. Eventually you will start to feel comfortable going to your gym. You will learn the etiquette (it's usually: "Yo, you using this?" and, wiping your sweat off the benches) and you will fit right in.

If you have a little down time, I seriously recommend that you (and everyone) reads a book called Spark by John Ratey. It's an excellent read about the neurobiology of exercise from a psychiatrist who largely looks at exercise and ADHD but extrapolates some of his theories with support from other researchers. Some very cool experiments, and definite food for thought.

I haven't read it, but my understanding is that the book FIT by Lon Kilgore (Starting Strength and Practical Programming co-author), Justin Lascek (former Rippetoe associate, proprietor of 70sbig.com) and Michael Hartman would fit the bill in terms of describing a systematic approach to endurance and conditioning. I've heard good things about the book.

I can't answer that question, but do have a book recommendation:

http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

Having divorced a mentally ill spouse, I want to caution you about putting too much hope into a mental health evaluation for custody. You might get what you want, but you very likely might not. You live with your stb ex. You know all the problems of interacting with your stb ex as an adult.

Custody evaluations are a different thing. The bar another parent must pass to be allowed shared custody is pretty low, and made lower by the "lights are on, cameras are rolling" (stole that from /u/Latufu I think) nature of a custody evaluation, which makes everyone present him/her self in the best possible light.

Ask yourself this: when the kids are with the other spouse, will they receive medical care if they need it, will they receive adequate nutrition to support life, will they make it to school on time, and will they have a relatively clean and safe place to sleep. Don't let your anger at your spouse cloud your judgment. If all of those questions can be answered in the affirmative, a psych evaluation will very likely be a heartbreaking waste of money and time.

Also, while I don't know CA law, in my state parents do not pick the evaluator, the courts do. From a few conversations with /u/saricher I gather that my own state and PA CA are fairly similar. I suspect that your researching this won't help you.

Sorry if I seem discouraging.

A low bar squat will help with hip mobility, glute engagement and core strength. You should also incorporate some high bar or front squat, as this will shift the focus towards the quads.

I highly recommend reading ChiRunning for some guidance on improving your form. http://www.amazon.com/ChiRunning-Revolutionary-Approach-Effortless-Injury-Free/dp/1416549447

Thanks for the great rely, your description is very accurate of how I feel. I am thinking of getting this book and figuring out a routine for myself.
Thanks for the motivation.

Born To Run by Christopher McDougal is all about the virtues of running barefoot and some great storytelling too.

Bigger Leaner Stronger and Thinner Leaner Stronger by Michael Matthews are good books that cover a lot of basics thoroughly. I would recommend only getting one of Matthews books as I've heard they are basically copies with pronouns swapped to be geared toward a different audience.

Might be jumping into this discussion too late - but, I'm a 35 year old returning to swimming after a ~15 year hiatus. I've been running in the meantime, and have followed an '80/20' plan for running, meaning 80% of my running is at low intensity and 20% is at high intensity. This seems to be a pretty popular breakdown in the running community. I believe mainly influence by this book: https://www.amazon.com/80-20-Running-Stronger-Training-ebook/dp/B00IIVFAEY

I've been structuring my swims similarly. Is there any I should avoid this breakdown and do more high intensity swims? For both running and swimming I'm focused on distance as I figure my endurance will taper off less as I age than strength and sprinting.

You have two options here:

• The long one: Stretch everyday, 10 to 20 minutes. Hold every position for about 30 seconds. Do NOT bounce; bouncing is known as ballistic stretching and it as stupid as stretching can get.
  
  
• The somewhat shorter way: Isometric stretching(a.k.a. PNF), 3 times a week in addition to normal stretching the rest of the week. To give you a general idea, isometric stretching is pretty much stretching as far as you can comfortably go, contracting the muscles for somewhere between 5 to 30 seconds, depending on how hard you contract, and then letting go and try to push the stretch a little further. Hold for 30 seconds, repeat up to 5 times. It's hard, and quite uncomfortable, but it works. Relax into stretch and Stretching scientifically are the best books I know on the subject.
  
  Also, dynamic stretching is to be done at the beginning of your workout, and passive at the end.
  

Dive in slowly! Those calves take a few weeks to adapt to the new loads as your foot strike starts shifting forward. Real easy to over train in the beginning. If you want a solid look at form analysis that I found goes absolutely hand in hand with the barefoot/minimilist shoes, definitely check out Chi Running, by Danny Dreyer. To me, Dreyer's
mechanics, and the zero drop part of the footwear, were life altering.

Member in Canada here (on an ERT) and I agree wholeheartedly with Tactical Barbell, but not that particular book. PPLE is very narrow in it's scope. Just meant to prepare you for PFT and possibly academy. It's basically a test prep book.

Op, I'd go with the two foundation books, the strength book:

https://www.amazon.com/Tactical-Barbell-Definitive-Strength-Operational-ebook/dp/B01G195QU2

And more importantly the conditioning (cardio + energy systems) book:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0143HDCWS/ref=series_rw_dp_sw

PM me if you have any questions.

It only does some of what you're asking, but Yoga Anatomy is pretty awesome. There's not a whole lot on chakras -- at least not in the first edition -- but the physical body stuff is there.

I started with the Couch to 5K Running Plan that's been suggested, and it's great. I would add that I found the book Chirunning to be very useful. It got me thinking about how I ran, and I found running to be more comfortable after putting some of it's suggestions into practice.

Tactical Barbell 2, Im just getting into judo (2nd week) but running an aerobic program greatly improved my bjj and muay thai, it allows your body to more easily recover between energy spurts

Read this book (or download the audiobook off Audible), it explains in really interesting terms how exercise strengthens the reward center of the brain. In a nutshell, exercise, at first you might hate it (like your first beer) but eventually you "get it" and you realise how happy building your fitness level can make you.

http://www.amazon.com/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-Brain/dp/0316113506

Why don't you do more of the practice? Start moving to the seated section of the primary series. There is a good book here: http://www.amazon.ca/Ashtanga-Yoga-The-Practice-Manual/dp/1891252089

Or you can look at the free online resource: http://www.ashtangayoga.info/practice/primary-series-yoga-chikitsa/

Or try a different style of yoga - see if that helps.

I read a review of someone who did it with earplugs so he could hear his breathing more. Perhaps focusing on making noise with your breath will help keep your mind concentrated on a single subject.

Look up the black box summit. Effectively CF splintered over exactly that many years ago, with HQ sticking hard to the everything random line, and then affiliate gyms patting them on the head and going off to do their own thing with some combination of linear progression for strength and skills combined with metcon - so a more traditional S&C structuring. Some dropped all association with CF entirely after that and just started calling themselves S&C gyms.

If you do want to figure it out for yourself Practical Programming and Fit are probably good starters on doing your own programming. If not, then you can find more structured programming from Crossfit Football or affiliate sites rather than HQ, or get custom programming done for you from someone like OPT/Opexfit Training (CF Games first winner).

Check out this guy. He has an interesting philosophy on stretching that seems to work pretty well. There are also some videos of his on Youtube you can watch for free where he explains a lot of his ideas and exercises.

Running more than three times a week requires running multiple days in a row and when doing this (typically) every other run should be VERY easy, i.e. a "recovery" run, like 70% or 75% of MaxHR. Not everyone that can do 3x3miles has the fitness to run in this low exertion zone. IMO, if you're in this boat you're way better of taking the rest day or cross training.

Edit: When most people (including the way I was for most of my running history) think they're running "easily" there actually running in a "moderate" zone and so when they start building up millage their training stress is pretty high and they're not able to run as far as they could to get the most aerobic training or as hard as they could to get quality anaerobic training. It's also a recipe for injury, I highly recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/80-20-Running-Stronger-Training-ebook/dp/B00IIVFAEY

A couple people have asked about my routine. I started off doing Stronglifts 5x5 for a few months. After I felt comfortable with the basic compound lifts lifts, I started Michael Matthews's Bigger, Leaner, Stronger, which I fully endorse and would recommend to anyone. The book is excellent, and everyone should read it, but you can take a look at the routines here. I had to take about 3 months off last fall for surgery after developing a hernia, so I lost some progress there.

"The Art of Expressing The Human Body", by John Little.
You can find it on amazon here

If you are interested in these types of books, then I would also recommend "Zen In The Martial Arts" by Joe Hyams. (My personal favorite)

You can also find it on Amazon here

Enjoy!

"The Art of Expressing The Human Body", by John Little.
You can find it on amazon here

If you are interested in these types of books, then I would also recommend "Zen In The Martial Arts" by Joe Hyams. (My personal favorite)

You can also find it on Amazon here

Enjoy!

That first sentence is true for shorter efforts, but not marathons. In FIT we often say that high intensity conditioning will suffice for efforts up to three times as long as the length of the high intensity effort. The book also has a whole chapter on endurance training, too (includes cited research).

The reason that the longer runs/sessions are programmed is to provide the glycogen adaptation in the muscle (i.e. the muscle stores more of it, utilizes the substrates more efficiently, etc.). Not to mention the muscle fibers and musculoskeletal structures adapt to the longer effort.

So, yes, that's why these are programmed. If I had to guess, I'd say that most marathon programs have too many of these runs/sessions. Most modern marathon programs will have a mix of types of runs with "cross training". The progressive ones will have a) track repeats, b) tempo run, and c) long run (in addition to two cross training). I'd fluctuate the length/distance of the long run relative to how far out the race is if I were programming.

I'm treated for anxiety, depression and ADHD. I've long noticed that the best periods of my life are directly correlated to being far more active.

I recently read a great book on the subject called Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. I'd highly recommend it.

Strength training anatomy for learning how exercises strengthen certain parts, Bigger, Leaner, Stronger for basics on training for aesthetics and strength, and Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle for good diet advice.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Art-Expressing-Human-Body/dp/0804831297 this book was the greatest work out philosophy book I've ever read. It doesn't have to much about running but provides a great drive to keep you pushing for longer, faster, and harder.

Recommend getting a book New Rules On Lifting and Mens Health Big Book Of Exercises.

NROL has a pretty solid program made by Alwyn Cosgrove. The big book is a good reference for movements.

New Rules of Lifting has been a HUGE boon in helping me understand the science behind what I'm doing. I've read both this one and the NROL for women as well. Highly recommend.

http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Rules-Lifting-Maximum/dp/158333338X

What's stopping you from moving all your shit into a storage space RIGHT NOW to keep it safe from her and finding somewhere else to stay until you can find a new job? Then you can move and persue divorce at that point.

Use credit card if you don't have the cash saved, get out NOW and get out FAST.

Read http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254. Good luck.

It's simple physiology. The muscles aren't physically short, it's just that we have a thing called the stretch reflex that freaks out when we move our muscles outside a certain range of motion, and causes the muscle to contract in order to stop the motion.

When a doctor whacks our knee with a hammer, they're testing the stretch reflex. The hammer impact causes a small and momentary lengthening of the quads, and the stretch reflex counteracts it by contracting the.

What stretching does is create a "new normal" in terms of RoM for the muscle. It is a retraining of the nervous system, not the muscle tissue, and for this reason, frequency is key.

If you want to read more about it, Glorious Socialist Athletics authors Pavel Tsatsouline and Thomas Kurz have written excellent books about it.

I really love Pavel Tsatsouline's Relax Into Stretch. Very effective.

> I, on the other hand, am seeking out a therapist that specializes in codependency and has some expertise with borderlines. I want to know why I'm drawn to them, and how to stop it in the future. Each day is getting a little brighter as I start asking myself what I would like to do.


Amen to this, brother. You are exactly where I was a couple of years ago. Seeing your own therapist makes a huge difference going forward. If I hadn't done that, I'm sure I would have fallen into the same pattern with relationships. You'll learn what your own weaknesses are and then it's easy to spot when someone is manipulating you because of them. <Spoiler> It probably happens way more often than you even realize. Getting control of this aspect of your life, means getting control of nearly all of your life. You will start living for yourself, likely for the first time in your life.

Good luck to you.

P.S. Be prepared for her to re-neg on things as deadlines draw near. Remember, one of the the most overriding fears for a borderline is Abandonment (whether real or imagined). When it's real, about to be on paper, in court, that you are leaving her, she will flip shit. Anything she rationally understands or agreed to will go out the window. I recommend you and your lawyer both have a copy of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

One more thing from my personal experience (yours may vary). My BPD ex-wife suggested we go through divorce mediators rather than a traditional divorce with lawyers fighting each other. I agreed. We wasted 4 months and lots of money on the mediators as she would agree to everything, then when it was time to sign the agreements, she would change her mind on big items. Then we'd start over, she'd become agreeable again, then at the last minute, change her mind again. She can't control her emotions, they control her, she can't help it. Finally, I had to go the traditional route to get it done. I should have done this from the beginning.

Several of your lifts have gone up. You've made progress! If you're not getting the results you're wanting, try switching programs. I've seen some great results using programs out of The New Rules of Lifting . Keep at it, self-improvement is never a waste of money.

Stretching. it actually can feel like hard work while you are doing it but you feel so relaxed after. Listening to music that you find calming while doing so is helpful too, and the effect is long lasting if you do it regularly.

What did your PT recommend?

Starting lifting:

> The biggest secret? Almost everything you need to know fits into two or three sentences, and a few pages for the implementation. I’'ll have most of it down before this article is over.

• https://medium.com/message/1049400ede28
  
• http://stronglifts.com
  
• /r/fitness
  
• New Rules of Lifting:
  
  > http://www.torontopubliclibrary.ca/detail.jsp?Entt=RDM2498453&R=2498453
  > http://www.amazon.ca//dp/158333338X
  
  A lot of people suggest running: not (entirely) necessary. Long-term lifting is better, but if you add a 30-60 minute walk almost daily, that's most of moving that you'll need. Add bicycling to work and you're done. Start lifting first, and add running later if you wish. I got better results in 3 months of lifting than 3 months of running (getting to 5K).
  
  For lifting, you may need a trainer for the first little while to make sure your form is okay and get into good habits, but after 2-3 months you can stop using them (or only 1-2 times per month for touch-ups/spot checks). Stronglifts (5x5) or NROL is all you need.
  
  For this:
  
  > I'm not destitute, but I had major job issues that really fucked up my finances for the medium-term.
  
  See /r/PersonalFinanceCanada/
  

I highly recommend you read Bigger Leaner Stronger, and get your T levels tested. Maximize T with proper diet/sleep/exercise/supplements.
 

• Stop masturbating (Seriously)
  
• Compound lifts (Stronglifts 5x5 is a great place to start)
  
• Get lots of protein
  
• Lift 3 times a week with at least 1 recovery day after lifting
  
• Keep researching and optimizing for best results
  
• Do all of this for 3+ years
   
  
  To summarize, you get big from tearing your muscles with short/heavy sets of explosive lifts. Protein + rest will repair the tears and make you bigger. Strength comes naturally, but size requires constant repair. This is why you can be small and strong, typically these guys are concentrating on long exhaustion sets and haven't optimized their macros.

If you're looking to workout with great results while minimizing your time in the gym, while eating paleo...check out Body By Science .

Crossfit is intense and honestly not really necessary to see similar results with way less effort.

I hurt my shoulder a couple of week ago actually so none at the moment =( But I was doing the bodybuilding routines out of this book. I can't find another similar program on the internet to link unfortunately, but it involves switching up rep ranges every workout. It keeps it interesting if nothing else. At some point in the future I'll try out 5/3/1 and RPT, they both look awesome.

I recommend the conditioning one because it focuses on what you can do for the first 8-12 weeks. If you like the results, invest in the 3rd edition of the first book, which focuses on strength programs.

Great book! Here is a link for those interested:
https://www.amazon.com/Stretching-30th-Anniversary-Bob-Anderson/dp/0936070463

Bill Eddy has a great book called "Splitting," about divorcing people with personality disorders. His website also has useful information.

You can get the kindle version of the book on amazon for $9.99, and read it on your phone/tablet

https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Curves-Womans-Building-Better-ebook/dp/B00C4XI0QM/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Good luck

I have his book called The Art of Expressing the Human Body and it deals almost entirely with his workout routine. It's a super good reference to have.

Check out Stop Walking on Eggshells.

I'll be completely honest with you. Leaving her may be the easier path in the long run. If you decide to divorce, check out Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Diet is about 80% of the equation. Eat a paleo/keto diet, it will be good for both of you.

Also, running doesn't really help much. Intense weight training is what causes certain hormones to be released which change the metabolism and add calorie-burning muscle.

Definitely get her to read this book, it explains the whole exercise aspect with modern-day medical knowlege.

Cool, I'll try to read both Bechtel articles this evening and try to construct some kind of a routine after that. Of course I still might return to this thread with new questions, but these articles really seem to be a goldmine of information.

I heard about the campus board being a dangerous one, so I kept my distance so far. I'll look up the Simple & Sinister program; I've been looking for such 'supplementary' programs and also read some good things about Tactical Barbell, although I'm not sure whether many climbers have tried it out yet (I think someone on this Reddit metioned it though, using the 'Fighter Template' from the book).

Thanks for all the help, I really appreciate it.

Ashtanga has a set series of movements and postures so I'm not sure that you would be able to only do it for 20 - 45 mins. You could do a modified series though This book: https://www.amazon.com/Ashtanga-Yoga-Practice-David-Swenson/dp/1891252089 has some shortened practices and the book itself is spiral bound so you can lay it open at the top of your mat to follow along. If you are super serious about a video, why not go with the source? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUgtMaAZzW0 Please be aware these are the best of his students performing the extreme of each asana. I've been practicing Ashtanga as my home practice for about 13 years. I can't do any of that. Its like going to cirque du soleil and saying, "I took gymnastics classes for a few years, I can do that!" No, you can't, but with some self awareness you can start to work towards it.

I recommend the everlast roadwork plan:

http://teameverlast.everlast.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/TeamEverlast-Smarter-Running.pdf

in conjunction with the tactical barbell “fighter” lifting plan:

https://www.amazon.com/Tactical-Barbell-Definitive-Strength-Operational/dp/1537666932

These two programs should be helpful for what you want, and still allow enough recovery for you to continue boxing training.

Body by Science, Doug McGuff, MD.

Apart from the proposed training programs, it covers a great deal about the human metabolism, how muscles grow, how your body adapts to certain triggers etc...

The Tao of Jeet Kun Do

This one is the one I'm most familiar with. It's all rooted in martial arts philosophy but you'll find a way to apply it. He's brilliant that way.

Striking Thoughts
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How to Express the Human Body

I strongly recommend this book if you're married to somebody with BPD.

http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

Somebody I know went through a breakup and custody battle with a long term girlfriend who had/has BPD. Bad stuff. Great you want to help, but protect yourself.

You're in the right place. This sub discusses the Tactical Barbell methodology. You will need to buy these two books.

Tactical Barbell 1

Tactical Barbell 2

Checkout the reviews on Amazon, it's a great program.

Spark is a really good book on the health benefits of exercise for those who want to know more than the video offers.

My running friend said reading Chi Running helped him fix his running form issues.

If there's a specialty running store in your area, see if they offer clinics on improving your running posture.

Just to throw out a different idea, what about barefoot running? You should be able to get Ken Bob's book at the library. I've never ran barefooted myself, I don't personally condone this idea at all, just another possibility for running on a budget.

Alternatively: I have a Foot Locker gift card with $63 on it. If you want it, private message me your address and I'll send it to you (assuming you live in the United States).