Reddit mentions: The best gender studies

We found 669 Reddit comments discussing the best gender studies. We ran sentiment analysis on each of these comments to determine how redditors feel about different products. We found 214 products and ranked them based on the amount of positive reactions they received. Here are the top 20.

1. Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community

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Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community
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2. The Way of Men

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The Way of Men
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3. Transgender Warriors : Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman

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  • North Point Press
Transgender Warriors : Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman
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ColorRed
Height10.49 Inches
Length6.53 Inches
Number of items1
Release dateJune 1997
Weight0.89948602896 Pounds
Width0.78 Inches
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4. Masculinities

Masculinities
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Length6 Inches
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Release dateAugust 2005
Weight1.11 Pounds
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5. The Way of Men

The Way of Men
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Release dateMarch 2012
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6. Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity

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Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity
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Release dateNovember 2006
Weight0.8157103694 pounds
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7. Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution

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  • Seal Press CA
Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution
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Length5.5 Inches
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Release dateJuly 2013
Weight0.9038952742 Pounds
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8. How to Understand Your Gender

How to Understand Your Gender
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Length5.5118 Inches
Number of items1
Release dateSeptember 2017
Weight0.661386786 Pounds
Width0.94488 Inches
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9. Iron John: A Book about Men

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  • Da Capo Press
Iron John: A Book about Men
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Height8.25 Inches
Length5.45 Inches
Number of items1
Release dateNovember 2015
Weight0.6834330122 Pounds
Width1 Inches
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11. Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue

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  • Friendly To Your Guitar's Finish
  • Patented Leg Locking System
Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue
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ColorMulticolor
Height8.5 Inches
Length5.5 Inches
Number of items1
Release dateOctober 1999
Weight0.40565056208 Pounds
Width0.35 Inches
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12. Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions

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Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions
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Length6.499987 Inches
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Weight1.21695168624 Pounds
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14. A Society without Fathers or Husbands: The Na of China (Zone Books)

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A Society without Fathers or Husbands: The Na of China (Zone Books)
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15. The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You

The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You
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Weight0.7495716908 Pounds
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17. Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive

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Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive
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Height8.25 Inches
Length5.55 Inches
Number of items1
Release dateOctober 2013
Weight0.78043640748 Pounds
Width1.55 Inches
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18. Gender Failure

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Gender Failure
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Length5.4 Inches
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Weight0.80027801106 Pounds
Width0.7 Inches
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19. Women Who Become Men: Albanian Sworn Virgins (Dress, Body, Culture)

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Women Who Become Men: Albanian Sworn Virgins (Dress, Body, Culture)
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Height9.21 Inches
Length6.1401452 Inches
Number of items1
Release dateAugust 2001
Weight0.68784225744 Pounds
Width0.41 Inches
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🎓 Reddit experts on gender studies

The comments and opinions expressed on this page are written exclusively by redditors. To provide you with the most relevant data, we sourced opinions from the most knowledgeable Reddit users based the total number of upvotes and downvotes received across comments on subreddits where gender studies are discussed. For your reference and for the sake of transparency, here are the specialists whose opinions mattered the most in our ranking.
Total score: 155
Number of comments: 21
Relevant subreddits: 4
Total score: 149
Number of comments: 6
Relevant subreddits: 3
Total score: 71
Number of comments: 6
Relevant subreddits: 1
Total score: 70
Number of comments: 11
Relevant subreddits: 2
Total score: 47
Number of comments: 6
Relevant subreddits: 2
Total score: 41
Number of comments: 13
Relevant subreddits: 4
Total score: 38
Number of comments: 6
Relevant subreddits: 3
Total score: 27
Number of comments: 8
Relevant subreddits: 5
Total score: 24
Number of comments: 6
Relevant subreddits: 2
Total score: 3
Number of comments: 12
Relevant subreddits: 4

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Top Reddit comments about Gender Studies:

u/SkybluePink-Baphomet · 4 pointsr/asktransgender

> I can't change those standards with the flick of a switch.

Long term project of bodily acceptance ahoy! Work on this slowly, don't beat yourself up for having bad days or wanting to make longer term changes, but try and think positively about what you've got. An important part of the project can be to try and give yourself positive affirmations and override negative self descriptors in your internal narrative, over time this can help even if at first it feels like you're just sort of faking it. This doesn't mean you have to like where you are, but trying to soften words like hate, or ideas like never being happy if you can't blend in immediately. You don't have to aim for happy, but aiming for unhappy but accepting and working towards changes can be a big shift.

> things aren't going my way right now and I'm at a last-ditch point where it's pass or give up on ever being happy. I know how I feel. People keep telling me how to feel but I can't just decide to be happy as I am.

Look you don't have to be happy as you are, but you have to try and accept how things are at the minute while working to change what can be changed. This is a long slow process and it sucks. Things will get better as transition goes on, but it'll take time and effort and the bit before then is going to grind and fucking suck.

Breasts: padded bras and home made breast forms are better than nothing. Go smaller rather than bigger, just something there to break up the outline of your body will do.

Clothes: two layers of not like painfully tight but snug underwear (optionally like leggings or whatever over the top as well), google search to learn the mystic arts of tucking, but TL;DR gently move testicles up/in, tuck penis down back, use underwear to hold in place, wear baggy trousers, multiple layers of skirt (look okay when I do skirts I'm into underskirts in addition).

Hair: Neaten up at hairdressers, use good shampoo/conditioning.

What am I forgetting:

  • Hormones really really help, make sure you register with a new GP when you're at Uni - and get them to chase your referrals to your GIC to keep that going. For many of us blending without hormones just sucks balls and isn't going to happen, they can make the world of difference to us physically with changes, but also with mental changes. If you can afford to do so you can go private, you're UK based so see /r/transgenderUK for details on your options (one online doc, two places in London, self medding as a last resort).

  • Hair removal: Costs money but can be a good investment, theoretically the NHS will give you like 6 sessions of laser, when you've battled your way through the GICs. In the mean time if you can scrape the cash for even one or two it can really lessen your facial hair by a huge margin and make everything easier. IPL is not laser, it'll stun hair but it'll come back shortly.

  • Voice is also totally a thing, look into ways of practicing and start now, try /r/transvoice and threads here.

  • Shaving: Look into a good razor (double edged razors and good shaving soap/cream is a good investment that up front will cost you more but will save you in the long run as well as giving you a better shave, look into /r/wicked_edge and places). You may also want to look into an epilator for doing body hair. It'll hurt (oh how it'll hurt) but its kick arse.

  • Make up: Look into stuff to help conceal beard shadow (orange tone concealers) and layer foundation on top. Go for understated rather than overstated.

  • Good literature: Whipping Girl, The Empire Strikes Back, Natalie Reed, Zinnia Jones, collections like Nobody Passes - you can get a lot of this stuff free online or via your University Library. Good fierce shit that helps you feel positive about yourself. Know your history, know your rights. You don't have to be a shouty, out type - but just knowing this shit and having confidence in yourself and feeling awesome about being awesome can really help.

  • You time: Meditation, yoga, exercise - make your body your own, connect with it if you can stand too. If you can't carefully balanced and careful disconnecting from it can make getting through tough days easier, but that's easier if you can control how to reconnect later.

  • Supportive Friends: Look into your Uni and see if they have an LGBTQ group/support structure, go along and see if you mesh with these people, if so they can be a good source of support. Failing that find cool people to hang out with, make friends with those who share your interests, having a good support structure of friends can make all the difference.


    Good luck, may the force be with you. Oh enjoy your studies as well :)
u/WildBilll33t · 8 pointsr/AskMen

There are a few core psychological drives that compel men to do what they do. In no particular order:

Sex, obviously. Sexual dimorphism results in males on average having stronger libidos than women of similar demographic. Year+ dry-spells often lead men to suicide ideation.

Female companionship Ties in closely with sex, but is moreso the emotional connection component. Sex alone isn't enough to satisfy men's psychological needs; a supportive and loving partner is necessary. But on the flipside, a supportive female companion but lack of sex is also insufficient for healthy psychological functioning. Case study: /r/deadbedrooms

Male companionship Men generally seek esteem and reputation among their peers. For reference, the feeling a man gets when his fellow men look to him for leadership or admire his skills is similarly emotionally pleasurable as sexual release or close romantic moments. It's a very different type of emotional gratification, but is on a similar level of pleasurable intensity. This is what fuels male competitiveness.

Competence Along with social gratification from other males, men need to convince themselves of their own competence. A man that does not believe in himself is not psychologically healthy, regardless of how others view him.

Independence For most men, there is no greater disgrace than being a burden to others. Case study: chronic unemployment or underemployment is strongly correlated to suicide.

Purpose Ties in a good bit with male companionship and independence. Men want a cause. I know that personally, I feel much more driven, dilligent, and psychologically healthy when I know people are counting on me. I'd postulate than a cultural "lack of feeling of purpose" has contributed to increasing suicide rates as well. I'd also postulate that desire for purpose leads many men to military service or radical social movements. (Case study: Disaffected European men joinging ISIS)

There's a comment I read a while back about the "male romantic fantasy" which is incredibly insightful into the male psyche. I'll see if I can dig it up.

EDIT: Found it! Incredibly insightful comment chain on "the male romantic fantasy" (The third comment down is the one I want to especially draw attention to. Quoted below)

> The Male Romantic Fantasy
I'd say that men usually feel most loved when this normal state of affairs is negated; when they are made to believe that a woman's love is not conditional in the cause-and-effect manner described in the parent post. Love is work for men, but it can be rewarding work when things are going smoothly and the woman is happy as a result. But the male romantic fantasy is to be shown that the woman feels the same way and stands by him when he's down on his luck, when the money's not there, or when he's not feeling confident. He wants to know that the love he believes he's earned will stay even when the actions that feed it wane (however temporarily). A good woman can often lift a man up in his times of need and desperation and weather the storm even when things aren't going well. The male romantic fantasy is an enduring and unconditional love that seems to defy this relationship of labor and reward. A man wants to be loved for who he is, not for what he does in order to be loved.

> An interesting way to examine this is to look at what women often call romantic entitlement. An entitled guy is a dude who maintains an unrealistic notion of men's typically active role in love. Before acknowledging reality, this boy uncompromisingly believes that he shouldn't have to do anything or change anything about himself to earn a woman's love; he wants to be loved for who he is, not what he does.

> All men secretly want this, but there comes a day when they eventually compromise out of necessity. After that day, they may spend years honing themselves, working, shaping themselves into the men they believe women want to be chosen by. A massive part of what causes boys to "grow up" is the realization that being loved requires hard work. This impetus begins a journey where a boy grows into a man by gaining strength, knowledge, resources, and wisdom. The harsh realities of the world might harden and change him into a person his boyhood self wouldn't recognize. He might adopt viewpoints he doesn't agree with, transgress his personal boundaries, or commit acts he previously thought himself incapable of. But ultimately, the goal is to feel as if his work is done.

> When he can finally let go of the crank he continually turns day after day in order to earn love and, even if only for a moment, it turns by itself to nourish him in return, that is when he will know he is loved.

If you're up for more in depth reading, I recommend, "The Way of Men" by Jack Donovan. (Disclaimer: towards the end of the book, the author espouses some rather radical personal philosophical views. His personal views in no way reflect my own, but I still see his book as a fantastic window into the baser male psyche)

u/SecondWind · 58 pointsr/IAmA

I'm glad it helps. :)

Actually, this is mildly cathartic, having an outlet for all those "should've, could've" thoughts...

Involve others with more experience.

  • If you need to choose a school, ask on /r/lgbt.
  • When it's time to find a therapist, ask on /r/asktransgender.
  • When you need to tell your parents, or even just need to decide whether to tell your parents, find a local peer group (GSA) with whom to practice the discussion.

    Learn about your community.

  • Read "The nearest exit may be behind you", "Gender Outlaws: TNG", "Whipping Girl", "Transgender History". These will not be your problems, or necessarily your life, but you will find your people in them and a connection to an otherwise foreign community. (It sucks to be trans, nobody understands.)
  • Find opportunities to participate in queer culture. Being T is not the same as being LGB. It's tempting to pull away, since yours is an issue of identity and not one of sexuality (and they really are extraordinarily different). Resist the temptation, be a part of something, force your way in and tolerate the inconsistencies, it will be worth it.

    Heal thyself.

  • Your attitude and self-awareness is awesome, but your background and environment is not. I had a virtually identical home life (one fewer younger siblings, but the rest aligns right down to the lawyer parent!), and even after I "got over" it, it took years to really put the internalized prejudices of my youth away. Don't rationalize it away, don't be hard on yourself when you can't just get over it.
  • Go to therapy. Find someone you really click with, and who you feel understands you, and invest the time and trust in that relationship to make the most of it. Don't tell them what they want to hear, tell them what you feel, and remember that they fully expect you to be totally wrong about your own feelings the first few times. Figure it out together. You should be able to get this nearly for free at the right college, make the most of it.
  • If it feels awkward, you're doing it right. Cut yourself some slack, everyone has a hell of a time growing up and finding themselves, and thanks to your situation you'll be doing at 19 what most work out at 12. It's ok. Laugh at yourself, reflect and learn, and move on.
  • Find a fringe benefit. If you dwell on gender dysphoria, it can seem pretty shitty. If you mire yourself in transition, it can seem like a thankless, endless slog. Find something to be excited about, find a part of yourself to enjoy, and don't feel guilty about it. :)


    Finally, and most importantly, you do belong.
    You don't have to be presenting in your preferred gender to go to a support group. You don't have to start HRT to comment on a board. There's a pervasive sense among trans folk that there are real trans people out there and we're not they. But the moment you recognize this part of yourself you're a part of our world whether you like it or not, and all of us feel just as different. Smile, introduce yourself, and share aspects of yourself among friends who have those same parts and who are just bursting for the opportunity to talk about it with anyone who understands.

    Sigh, I could ramble on, but I need to get back to work... I guess I can sum it up in promising, cross my heart, the world is a beautiful and wonderful place, and you're going to love it out here. :)
u/executivesphere · 1 pointr/JordanPeterson

Straight up, you need to tell him you love him, you care about him, and that you’ll be there to support and accept him whatever he decides. You can’t control what he does, but your love and support will mean a lot to him. It’s important that you demonstrate that you’re truly willing to listen to him and understand him, rather than telling him what you think he needs to do without truly understanding what he’s going through.

A couple more things:
I noticed in one comment you doubted he could be trans because he had been sexually attracted to women in the past. This tells me you may not actually know much about the trans experience, as gender identity and sexual preference can be entirely separate from each other. (Plus, he’s still quite young and it’s possible that he hadn’t yet figured that part of himself out yet.)

If you haven’t already, you ought to read over the APA’s page on transgender people:

https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender


I also highly recommend you read one or both of these books to familiarize yourself better with trans issues and the trans experience.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0199325359/
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0231157134/

(At the very least, download the free samples through the Kindle app and read through the first couple chapters.)

Also, resist the urge to make this about yourself. Im not sure why you gave details about your career, salary, and romantic life, but please don’t use those facts to guilt or shame your brother. It’s an unkind this to do and it won’t help your relationship with him. It’ll only make him feel worse.

Finally, try to understand how challenging and scary it would be to come out as trans. No one chooses to do this because it’s easy or fun. As cis straight guys, the world is kinda built for us; our experience is totally the norm. For trans people, not only are they different than 99% of the population, but they’re routinely stigmatized and ridiculed but large swathes of society. Imo, it’s pretty fucking brave to come out as trans.

Anyway, good luck, man. My little bro is also in his early 20s and struggling to figure things out. Just try be a good brother and help him move forward in a positive way 💪💪💪

u/Transgender_AMA · 64 pointsr/science

Hello! Cei here. Thank you for your question and for your willingness to learn and grow for your community!
Question 1.a. If you are providing a space (a group, a confirmation class, a retreat, a bible study, a weekly potluck, a movie night, etc) for these young people to be themselves- to use they name they choose, to use the pronouns that fit for them, and to create norms where the other youth in the space must be respectful of these identities- then you are creating a safe space for the youth to go through the process of self-actualization in their identity. Ideally the church congregation would also be asked to affirm these youth in their identity. Depending on your comfort level, you could address the congregation and explain that you would like the church to be a sacred and safe space for all, and that in the interest of achieving this goal, you would ask them to respect names, pronouns, and gender expressions of all congregation members. b. One of the best ways to advocate for young people to their parents is to explain that the young person is happy, responding well, and thriving in environments where they are allowed to be themselves. If you have a young person who comes to your group/bible study/etc. who is using the name they choose, the pronouns that fit their identity, and is affirmed by the group around them and they are thriving, tell the young person's parents so. It may be that at home the parents see a kid who is struggling and sad and they are scared that being gender diverse will make things harder for their already unhappy child. To show that gender affirmation can radically improve a kid's quality of life is often the best motivator for parents to adopt affirming language.

2. Here are links to a few resources that we've found helpful over the years: Trans Bodies, Trans Selves, The Transgender Teen, The Genderquest Workbook, Confi's Article on Gender, Families In TRANSition.

I hope this helps, and thanks again for advocating for the gender diverse people at your church!

u/QuietlyLearning · 4 pointsr/TheRedPill

There are many who exhibit the traits that you consider "alpha"; leadership, firm character, integrity (maintaining their frame). The issue is that their goals may be terrible for others. Many incarcerated murderers are attractive to women, but are not "great men".

Jack Donovan touches on the dual concept of "being a good man" and "good at being a man". To summarise in a sentence: the first is creating a good society with men while the second is surviving as a man in a tribe. The Way of Men is about this concept; read the book as my one sentence summary does not do the subject any justice.

/u/RedSunBlue has a good description. Traits that are associated with "alpha" are those that demonstrate good health and genetics (women want to reproduce with you); "beta" traits are those that make men good providers (women want a LTR with you).

Alpha traits are said to be best because they create value; beta traits give value.

u/Jess_than_three · 4 pointsr/ontario

> I never said anything about chromosome being the basis, in any of my comments. And reproductive organs have bearing in a lot more parts of life than what people want to identify as.

That's a mighty tall claim. Feel like backing that up? Because for my money, your gonads are relevant A) if you're trying to reproduce, and don't have banked reproductive material, and... ... ...well, with the advent of exogenous sex hormones, nope, that's pretty much it.

> Yes, but that's not the only definition in the dictionary. The fact that there's another definition for each of those words provides an escape from circularity. The same cannot be said for the "a man is anyone who identifies as a man" definition.

We've been through this. I'm more than willing to go through it with you again, if you'd like. I'd be happy to demonstrate for you all of the ways in which the dictionaries' definitions are problematic - you pick a dictionary, and we can have at it. But at the end of the day, it won't matter, because "The dictionary says so!" is still nothing more than an appeal to tradition, and meaningless.

> Try backing up when you disagree instead of just saying that you disagree.

Nope. I'm not getting mired in seven layers of BS going back and forth about aspersions you've cast that aren't really relevant to the conversation, but I'm not going to let them stand unanswered, either.

> Ok, let's start with this one. First of all, a "man" is a person and not a role. I'm going to go ahead and guess you meant a man is a (person who conforms to a ) gender roll.

Why thank you for being so generous, O Pedantic One. Notwithstanding that I've never seen a gender roll (is that like a sesame roll?), no, I was talking about the concept that the word "man" points to.

> For one, you don't actually describe what this role is. You're just kicking the can down the street to this undescribed male gender role. Is the role about wearing pants? Is it about having a job and being the primary income-earner for one's family? It's hard to securely describe a role without resulting to stereotypes.

I did describe what it is. All of the things you list are furniture, ornamentation that different cultures hang on the role. "Man", or "men", refers to a role that exists in every human culture, associated with but not exclusive to people with penises. That is literally what the word means. When you discuss men in Western culture, men in traditional Chinese culture, men in !Kung culture, and men in Lakota culture, that is what you are referring to. "Man", as a concept, is a variable. I'm surprised that you don't seem to understand this, because it's honestly pretty simple.

> Although intersex people exist, saying there s a continuum implies that people generally fall all over the spectrum, which isn't true. The vast majority of people fall neatly into "only male" or "only female" with respect to reproductive organs.

What you just said is "Your definition is wrong in terms of my definition". Try again.

> That really depends on how one defines sex.

You don't say.

It's almost as though you defied me to present definitions to you, and then I did that.

> My definition (which is the one you're supposed to be arguing against)

In point of fact, it's not. I was arguing in favor of the definition I was presenting, since you cried so much about the unreasonable standard I held yours to (which seems to be code for "I ran out of arguments and couldn't back it up"). Would you like to discuss your shitty definition, instead?

> Secondary sex characteristics are not nearly as important as the author of that seems to think. Actually, none of these things (primary sex characteristics, secondary sex characteristics, or gender identity) are especially important for most things (or at least they shouldn't be). But there are a few areas in which sex is still relevant (locker rooms, possible romantic partners, etc.). I can't think of any situation where what somebody identifies as would really be important.

Yes, you can. Because you don't actually gender people on the basis of their reproductive organs. You don't interact with people on the basis of their reproductive organs. The definition you claim to use, you do not actually use, in real life.

> It's important to make a distinction, however, between those traits that merely correlate with men or women, and those traits that define who is a man and who is a woman.

Sure. Easily done. All of the traits listed are correlated with men and women. Gender identity defines who is a man and who is a woman.

> why shouldn't we apply the same standard to humans that we do to other animals?

Because humans base our societies on gender roles, and not on reproductive organs. If you would like evidence of this, look at the entirety of human history. If you would like evidence of this that is not snarky and sarcastic, go read Leslie Feinberg's book Transgender Warriors, which discusses the history of transgender people and of gender in general throughout human history and across a diverse array of cultures.

> but your definition really begs the question of what would fall under the "gender role" associated with men or women

It honestly doesn't.

> Just in plain, Midwestern, Euro-American culture, what's an example of one thing that would fall under the "male" social role and one thing that would fall under the "female" social role?

That's irrelevant to the discussion. Like, I mean it: completely irrelevant. What specifics a culture hangs on the gender role has nothing to do with the existence of the role, nor its stability throughout humankind. The point is that "men" and "women", as concepts relating to classes of people, are fundamental to human nature, and universal to humans broadly.

> For gender and sex to "match," they would have to be the same category of thing, which they are not. The fact that we use the same words to describe them does not mean that they "match."

I think you're smart enough to make the leap on this one by yourself. I'll give you a hint, though: what you want to think about are the correlations expressed above.

u/Zhuangzifreak · 1 pointr/bisexual

:-) So happy to hear that. Sounds like he's lucky to have a friend as good as you.

If you or he want more information at any time, please don't hesitate to PM me.

(Also, for those who have the patience for it, Shiri Eisner's rather dense book Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution is absolutely fantastic.)

Good luck, and thank you so much for being a good friend. I wish I had someone like you when I was wrestling with the feelings he is wrestling with right now. Take care!

u/ratjea · 6 pointsr/Anticonsumption

In addition to the other great suggestions in this thread, check out feminism, too. While these consumerist trends are certainly universal, I noticed that many of the topics you particularly felt pressured by were ones directed extra strongly towards women. Reading up on society's views of sex and gender and how it often tries to pigeonhole us, women and men, into sexist stereotypes, can give you the mental ammo to better deal with this consumerism.

Where to begin? A really good book about consumerism and beauty pressures is Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth. The blurb:

>The bestselling classic that redefined our view od the relationship between beauty and female identity.

>In today's world, women have more power, legal recognition, and professional success than ever before. Alongside the evident progress of the women's movement, however, writer and journalist Naomi Wolf is troubled by a different kind of social control, which, she argues, may prove just as restrictive as the traditional image of homemaker and wife. It's the beauty myth, an obsession with physical perfection that traps the modern woman in an endless spiral of hope, self-consciousness, and self-hatred as she tries to fulfill society's impossible definition of "the flawless beauty."

Sound somewhat familiar?

^Wow, ^there's ^a ^typo ^in ^the ^official ^blurb.

u/_whistler · 10 pointsr/TheRedPill

You have it made, little brother. You're beginning this journey at an optimal age. Your life, starting now, will be an amazing climb into all manhood has to offer the bold. Congratulations.

Now. Here are the instructions I would've given 17-year-old me.

Read:

The Way of Men by Jack Donovan.

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

Everything by Robert Greene.

The works of Rudyard Kipling, Jack London, and Mark Twain. Plus Jules Verne if you enjoy science fiction. Read as many other classical authors as you want, there's a very good reason their work has stuck with us.

Psychology texts. Philosophy texts. Study how to think, what it means to think, and how the way people think has changed throughout history.

Speaking of, history texts. Learn from the triumphs and failures of men before you.

Do:

Study nutrition & exercise science. I recommend looking into the Paleo nutrition philosophy, but make up your own mind based on your own research. In fact, making up your own mind based on your own research should probably be the number one thing you focus on. Never follow the lead of the herd.

Learn how to build habits. This will help to increase your productivity throughout your life. Find your ideal routine, and stick with it until it's natural; then feel free to deviate occasionally. Practice mindfulness at all times.

Learn to fight. Martial arts, boxing, wrestling - study some form of self-defense, preferably more than one. When you can handle yourself in a fight, you've taken one step further along the path of truly understanding yourself.

Study people. Talk to people. Befriend people. Piss people off when you have cause. Ultimately, lead people.

Pursue your passions. Explore what makes you tick. Know your strengths, and excel at them.

Above all else, remember:

Think with your mind. Act from your balls.

u/Khatinc · 3 pointsr/asktransgender

there's kinda two spectrums of beliefs on what is trans. some people adhere to social construction theories to explain trans stuff. some people adhere to peer-reviewed scientific research to explain things. i prefer the later, so i'd suggest searching this sub for research as well as reading the papers off pubmed. here's a nice overview of concepts from harvard: Between the (Gender) Lines: the Science of Transgender Identity. i also like the center of excellence for transgender health care as well as the world professional association for transgender health's standards of care document.. there's also an excellent book available called trans bodies, trans selves on amazon that covers a huge amount of information from the perspective of trans people. i really like this book a lot as it gives a very human touch to us as well as attempts to cover the vast diversity of the transgender experience. lots of people are given a voice in this book and it is very beautifully written. honestly, this is where i'd start with us.

the transgender community is incredibly diverse and it really is one of the best parts of being a part of the community.

u/newfacer · 1 pointr/asktransgender

Essay time! This and this are kind of like the primer essays for 'so you're questioning, now what'. They answer a lot of questions about the experience of gender dysphoria and how it is through someone's life as well as help to reframe the situation in various ways, would strongly recommend.

Books wise, I know Whipping Girl gets recced around a lot - whether you're MtF or FtM, it has a lot to offer and is pretty good. Gender Outlaws is another great read that is pretty current / up to date in terms of what it offers and has a ton of perspectives on the situation that you might find handy. I would also highly recommend Trans Bodies, Trans Selves as a great resource to pursue.

Edit: Couple more! Check out The Genderbread Person for a quick handy look at the different ways to think about gender identity and what it means, and if that interests you then you might also be interested in the accompanying book, Guide to Gender.

u/Adahn5 · 2 pointsr/CommunismWorldwide

For Trans liberation I would read Leslie Feinberg's Beyond Pink and Blue.

For Gay and Lesbian liberation I'd read Harry Hay's Radically Gay

On Feminism there's a lot. So you may want to grab Shulamith Firestone's The Dialectic of Sex and Silvia Federici's Revolution at Point Zero. Both will give you a historical and economic understanding of women's struggle.

On the African struggle I would read Thomas Sankara's The Burkina Faso Revolution.

For the Indian struggle, I suggest Anuradha Ghandy's Scripting for Change if you can find a copy somewhere.

That's it for stuff outside of the purely economic sphere.

As for fiction that intersects with communism, I suggest Iain M. Banks's Culture Series. Considering Phlebas, The Player of Games and Use of Weapons. The late Banks did a tremendous job at portraying a classless, stateless, moneyless, post-scarcity society with access to cornucopia technology.

For generally entertaining Sci-Fi that'll keep you turning pages, and is also written in a non-traditional way, you have to read the Warhammer 40,000 Ciaphas Cain series. Get yourself the two omnibi Hero of the Imperium and Defender of the Imperium you'll enjoy yourself to no end. Commissar Ciaphas Cain just kicks all kinds of arse.

If you enjoy Fantasy, and want a bit with a Marxist Dragon, then I recommend Alan Dean Foster's The Spell Singer Adventures series. Specifically books 1 and 2, Spellsinger and The Hour of the Gate. It's also laugh out loud funny.

If you're more into old fashioned adventures, like Conan the Barbarian kind, then you need to read Michael Moorcocks's Elric series. You can get your toes wet with Elric: The Stealer of Souls. The stories are great fun, Elric is an absolute Byronic anti-hero, he's physically weak, he has to dope himself up, he causes the downfall of his own civilisation, and yet he's a great swordsman, poet, philosopher, and so on. Very much a nihilist, very much a tragic hero.

Finally if you want to delve into the Paranormal, and specifically into the romance category (and why not, I say?). I think you should absolutely read Jeaniene Frost's Night Huntress series. Starting with Halfway to the Grave. Written by a woman, with a female protagonist, all from her first person perspective. It's a vampire story, and as far as the lore is concerned follows very closely to the White Wolf idea of the Masquerade. It's nothing like Twilight, you'll enjoy it and if you're like me, get hooked on the series.


u/randoogle_ · 3 pointsr/gainit

INTP/ENTP "spiritual person" here. Your routine and motivation is not the root issue. The self-hate is the root issue. The way you view yourself and how you relate to yourself (and by extension, the world) is very very dysfunctional, and I guarantee it's fucking up your life in more ways than one.

The negative self-talk is not reality, not objective, and not who you really are. The voice in your head is not only wrong and destructive, it's not even you.

You have a disconnect between different parts of yourself. You hate being "grounded" because when you're in that state, your ego isn't in charge, and you're forced to look at everything inside you you've been fighting. Learn to sit with that pain and not fight it... just let it happen, and watch it swell and then recede. This is, in essence, mindfulness meditation.

Try reading some of these, based on what stands out to you. They are all helpful.

  • The Power of Now --A book about the true nature of self and reality. Heavy Eastern influence. This book has influenced me the most out of the list, and maybe even altered the course of my life.

  • Radical Acceptance --A Buddhist book about loving yourself fully and completely. You are worth it!

  • 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos --A book by a brilliant man about how to live in a world defined by pain and suffering. Heavy Jungian influence. Quotes and references the Bible a lot, but from a Jungian/Campbellian perspective. Occasionally questionable politics.

  • Iron John --A sort of esoteric book filled with poetry and fairy tales about how to be a man. Heavy Jung/Campbell influence.

  • The Enchiridion by Epictetus --This is one of the best introductions to Stoicism, and it's free. Written circa 125 CE.

  • Feeling Good --CBT book clinically shown to be as effective as antidepressants. Your post is filled with things this book addresses directly. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

  • The Happiness Trap --A book about ACT, which is similar to CBT with more mindfulness. Basically CBT tries to get rid of/replace the distorted images of yourself and the world, and ACT tries instead to see them for what they really are, which are meaningless ramblings of an organ using evolved mechanisms to protect its host, and as such are safely ignored.

    Tl;dr: Learn to be kind to yourself, love yourself, and accept yourself just as you are right now, flaws and all.
u/-Anteros- · 3 pointsr/TheRedPill

> MGTOW Doesn't Get The Respect It Deserves

Now why is that? We know that its not respectable for a man to quit, to run away from that which he finds appealing (all healthy young men find women appealing). Let alone walking away from a challenge, which women today are.

Lets set a definition. From our side bar glossary:

  • Men Going Their Own Way; the growing contingent of the male population who are saying “Fuck It All” to the Mating Dance.

    MGTOW are committing an act of self-betrayal. Especially the younger ones. They don't seem to realize an important fact: Eventually we all go MGTOW. Its called "Getting old".

    MGTOW just gives a feeling of validation to a generation of young men wasting their days on videogames and porn, completely hoodwinked into thinking that they are wasting nothing by doing so. There is no book, no art, no website that will teach a young man more than he would learn by going out and socializing. Particularly with women he is interested in.

    Yes, dating sucks. Yes, it has never been this hard. No, young men should not give up. They should change strategies and improve their socializing skill while they have the energy and availability to do so. Throwing their opportunity in the trash is self-betrayal even if they don't realize the mistake they are making.

    Even worse, by accepting the validation that MGTOW provides, they are taking on an identity that other people have made for them.


    > backlash from women because it is a direct threat to their sexual strategy

    Absolutely not. Read the sidebar. They will happily move on to the available men, particularly the top 20%.

    > Even those that are in happy relationships seem to understand why MGTOW makes sense and can come to a rational agreement and support the freedom that MGTOW gives men.

    Running away is not freedom. Freedom when one is able to do something one wants to do. This is granted via the right perspective, which is for a man to put himself first. MGTOW cannot lay claim to this perspective or any other self-improvement despite its attempts to redefine itself.

    > However it is not meant to be a lifetime commitment as it directly challenges our biological need to procreate and reproduce.

    This is somewhat correct but for the wrong reasons. The challenge from MGTOW is not to our biology but to our freedom, which is (indirectly) what MGTOW will do to a young man as he ages.

    From the MGTOW subreddit sidebar definition:

    "We are men going our own way by forging our own identities and paths to self-defined success; cutting through collective ideas of what a man is."

    > forging our own identities

    Admirable try. Identity is created by harsh experiences and reactions from others, as undesirable as that may be.
    Also, interpersonal identity is not as self defined as one would hope


    > paths to self-defined success

    Here is the problem: If one does not know what a successful life is or its potential, how would one know what success is or can be? I ask rhetorically because its clear that younger men do not personally know their potential . They have no business writing off the things they aspire to, this is essentially why MGTOW gets a bad rap, as it should.

    The men who experience high levels of success do everything they can to continue it and increase it. They do not check out because of the complaints that MGTOW espouse.

    > cutting through collective ideas of what a man is.

    Thanks to feminists and gender identity politics "A man" is a murky concept that everyone believes they have a valid opinion on. Young men are understandably unclear about it.

    Here is a part of one of my definitions:
    A man changes his environment to his will, as best he can.

    Here is a good book on the matter


    In conclusion, game (Socializing) is a skill and if every MGTOW built up that skill instead of rationalizing away his retreat there would be no such thing as MGTOW. I have empathy for these boys but they are making the wrong choice. We only live once.
u/leaonas · 1 pointr/mypartneristrans

Yes, waiting can be hard. It took 4 months to get into a gender therapist in Boston. It is worth it though. In the meantime there are some books that may help them to better understand their feelings and options. There are two workbooks that I read that were okay:

u/donkeykongsimulator · 5 pointsr/communism

I agree that radical feminism is ultimately a bourgeois and reactionary ideology, and we should combat it in all communist organizations. I have a couple questions though:

> "homosexuality is cultural"

I've never seen a radical feminist say this, I've seen the opposite more often ("homosexuality is something you're born with and is attraction to the same sex" and other transphobic shit like that)

I would say that gay behavior is not a socially constructed phenomenon but gay identity and the social position of LGBT people in capitalist society is. Thoughts?

As for articles and stuff from a marxist position against radical feminism:

Trans People and the Dialectics of Sex and Gender: Against Radical and Liberal Feminism by Alyx Mayer

Gender Nihilism: An Anti-Manifesto this isn't specifically a Marxist analysis, its influenced by several trends (queer anarchism, post-modernism, Marxism, and post-colonialism) but its easy to see that the analysis is easily adaptable into a more specifically Marxist framework.

Sexing the Body by Anne Fausto Sterling. This also isn't a Marxist book but it tears apart biological essentialism that radfems love and is a good book (its written by a biologist too so its not just some random person writing this, its a real scientist)

Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue by Leslie Feinberg. Argument for transgender liberation by a Marxist-Leninist trans woman. All of her stuff is excellent and worth reading.

Philosophical Trends in the Feminist Movement by Anuradha Gandhy. Another great piece that lays out the basis of Proletarian Feminism

u/Annibannibee · 1 pointr/TumblrInAction

Yes, you are attracted to men and women, so you fall under the bisexual umbrella. That's great. That's your part of bisexuality. However, I'm bisexual, and I am attracted to loads of different gender expressions - I am attracted to SAME and OTHER genders that myself. I am not pan, because this is what bisexuality have always meant:

"Bisexuals are people with the (some include "inborn" or "innate") capacity to form enduring physical, romantic, (some include "spiritual") and/or emotional attractions to: (1) those of the same gender as themselves (2) those of different genders/gender presentations from themselves."

You should definitely check out this book, I think you'll find it very interesting. The author goes over the history of bisexuality, and how the community's widely accepted definition have been surpressed by academia and the lg community.

u/lunarstar · 3 pointsr/AskFeminists

Well, I strongly identify as a trans-feminist, and I am often hesitant of feminist spaces that aren't queer-centric for the very reasons that you list. However, for me it is important to educate those feminists who are transphobic or cissexist etc to help broaden feminist thought into a more intersectional frame of thought that addresses the sexism of all different identities.

I personally really care about LGBT+ things (and as you can see the LGB movements have not always been trans friendly either), and feminism as well. I assure you that not all feminists are like those individuals your friends experienced, and I am sorry they both had to go through that. It sounds like what they experienced is what Julia Serano has called "cissexism" or, "the belief that transsexuals' identified genders are inferior to, or less authentic than, those of cissexuals." This sort of sexism is something that I think the feminist movements would benefit from addressing.

I know that it can get really depressing reading and experiencing feminists being transphobic and cissexist etc, but one author (and really great speaker) who I have really enjoyed reading is Julia Serano, who is a trans woman and a feminist. You can check out her book "Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity" and I am looking forward to her new book coming out called "Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive" which I think is something you might be interested in looking into.

u/Mauve_Cubedweller · 6 pointsr/AskFeminists

Also: opening up space and providing methodological instruments to allow for the academic study of men and masculinities - something that wasn't even on the horizon until early 3rd wavers rolled onto the scene.

If you're a dude looking for what the 3rd wave has done for men, I'd say that's a pretty big check mark right there.

Here are some resources for you to look at, if you're interested:

  1. Masculinities, by R.W. Connell
  2. The Men and the Boys, by R.W. Connell
  3. Men's Lives, edited by Michael Kimmel and Michael Messner
  4. Men and Masculinities, a peer-reviewed academic journal devoted entirely to the examination of men and men's lives.
  5. Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions, by Lisa Wade and Myra Marx Ferree. Features a whole lot of discussion about men and masculinities

    This is just the tip of the iceberg of academic research on men and men's lives, and the overwhelming majority of it is a direct result of the revolutions in feminist thought brought forth by what we now think of as 3rd wave feminists.

    Now bear in mind that this is all academic stuff, but think about what that means for a moment: each semester, tens of thousands of students from all over the world, are asked to think critically and sociologically (or anthropologically or psychologically, whatever your preferred brand happens to be) about men, men's lives, and the issues facing men and boys today. The textbook I'm currently working on has a whole chapter that focuses on the challenges young men and boys face in North American schools, and the textbook I'm using to teach a sociology of gender course this year devotes about half of its space to examinations of men of all shapes, sizes, orientations, and expressions. That's huge. That's really huge. It's huge because action - and activism - need to be grounded in knowledge, and that's what 3rd wave feminists have helped to provide; knowledge of the unique and often serious challenges facing men and boys today.

    So that's what 3rd wave feminism has done for men and boys in academia. I'm sure there are resources around online that can help expand on this.
u/motodoto · 2 pointsr/PurplePillDebate

> Try reading the entire side bar including The Manipulated Man.

I have read that.

>Here, recommend me a book that describes your view, and I'll check it out too.

That's tough. I can recommend you a good primer on pre-2nd wave feminism, 2nd wave feminism, and critical theory. There's a long list of over 200 years of literature and articles that have gotten it to where it is today. Here's a few.

https://www.amazon.com/Second-Sex-Simone-Beauvoir/dp/030727778X - Excellent place to start.

It's likely in your local library.

After that...

https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Politics-Kate-Millett/dp/023117425X

Another place to head to next. Controversial, most people have issue with some of things in here. There is no central authority, it's just lots of ideas and challenging yourself that's at the core of it.

https://www.amazon.com/Justice-Gender-Family-Susan-Moller/dp/0465037038

This is another good book to read on the subject after the first two. It's the first academic application of feminist theory to political theory.

That would set the groundwork.

As far as one that describes my view, not sure if I can do that, but that's cuz most people can't do that. I take ideas from multiple books/articles.

>I'll ask, If Feminism is about equality, why not simply fight for Egalitarianism?

Baggage is one reason. The term itself, egalitarianism, has a historical baggage associated with a pretty screwed up past.

Not only that, but feminism is about the advocacy of women's equality to that of men in areas where they are not equal. This is open to interpretation. If we are talking higher-level structural equality on a large scale, there is still much inequality. If we are talking about perceptions of women and stereotypes, there is much inequality. It's one way to look at it.

Also egalitarianism is not just about gender equality by definition, it deals with broader egalitarian concerns like social status, wealth, etc... It's all about catching flies appropriately. One issue at a time. Feminism is focused on gender inequalities, egalitarianism is focused on the total sum of all inequalities. Vast majority of feminists are egalitarian in regards to gender. They may not be in regards to economic status, they probably believe in free market capitalism for instance.

Also this seems like splitting hairs, what does it matter? I don't see many people rhetorically questioning why you call yourself red pill (haven't seen it, not saying they don't).

u/NGPlus · 3 pointsr/asktransgender

I want to say something, but you seem to have so much already worked out that I'm unsure as to what exactly I should.

First of all, don't worry. All of us here totally have your back. I think you'll be surprised by how many people can relate to your feelings (a double edged sword really. Yay, I belong; Aww, I'm not special ^_^ ). If you want to put a label to yourself (and by all means, feel free not to), I suggest starting somewhere around here. If you'd like to read about other people's theories and experiences then Bornstein and Bergman are right up your alley.

You're already starting to explore, so I don't really know what else to tell you. Just remember that you are doing this for you. You don't have to conform to anyone's notion of trans any more than you have to conform to anyone's notion of female. Do whatever makes you happy.

u/ardamass · 1 pointr/trans

The best book ever I think for trans is "Trans bodies trans selves" http://www.amazon.com/Trans-Bodies-Selves-Transgender-Community/dp/0199325359
Its kind of like the bible of transition.

If you think he is still suicidal there is the Trevor line http://www.thetrevorproject.org/section/donate?gclid=COKv-OPRxsQCFdcSgQod5mkAdA
There number is 1-866-488-7386 and you can call text or chat with them.

The following sub reddits are good r/ftm r/asktransgender r/transeducate and r/TransCommunity

For his parents http://transparenthood.net/

Sorry I don't have more for you. I know he's family to you and Im sure you would never consider otherwise but thank you for helping him. Thank you for taking the time out to prepare. The next year is going to be really hard, probably the hardest in his life and he's going to need every bit of support from everywhere he can get it.
While I'm not FTM I am MTF and if you or he want to talk or need some general pointers Im happy to help just shoot me a pm.

u/Cialis_In_Wonderland · 6 pointsr/Anarcho_Capitalism

I have many gay friends, so when I first shifted from an ideological libertinism to traditional value set, I was having trouble reconciling my views. Isn't the right supposed to hate gays? I am against cultural degeneracy, and homosexuality seems degenerate, so what does one make of it? Furthermore, the science clearly shows that homosexuality, whether an aesthetic preference or
"sexual orientation," is generally not a choice (though there is nuance).

Reading The Way of Men by Jack Donavan, who is gay, helped to clear this up for me. He argues that what we need to fight is not homosexuality, but the men who work to upend and destroy traditional masculine values (strength, honor, courage, mastery). The two heavily overlap, especially in urban circles, which leads to the association, but this still leaves a quite significant percentage of honorable gay men.

Interestingly, a counterculture is emerging among male homosexuals to distance themselves from their peers. They've been coopted by the Left, willingly, in exchange for sinecures like gay "marriage." This is what happens when you sell your soul; you no longer get to determine how it is used, and they are now open to blowback. The risk is that the public will take back all of their gains and then some, which the gays with foresight recognize in leaving L-BT behind.

u/mx_marvelous · 7 pointsr/ftm

I have many! Here are a few:


Gender Failure by Rae Spoon and Ivan Coyote This is the book version of the authors' live show that toured in 2012. They both are nonbinary, and the stories they tell are about that.


Second Son by Ryan Sallans Ryan has been a role model of mine for a long time, so I was really excited to get his book. It's a pretty basic transition memoir, but he has a really great voice.


Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein This one is a classic, and one I wish I had read much sooner! It's a transition memoir, but she also has some awesome discussions about gender in general too. Also, check out The Next Generation which is a collection of the work of trans* writers and artists.

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg I think everyone should read this. It's a memoir/fiction sort of thing, and gender and transition are shown to be much more complex than in other transition memoirs. This one is quite old though, so maybe your library already has it?

Lastly, I will suggest Red: A Crayon's Story, which is basically the sweetest story about a blue crayon that was given a red wrapper by mistake.

u/ramblemn · 1 pointr/DeadBedrooms

one question: you leave the kids in the car with engine running?

and. awesome. those are great books and good for you overall. don't let her twist you in "The manipulated Man" ( https://www.amazon.com/Manipulated-Man-Esther-Vilar/dp/1905177178)

don't punish the kids though, they may like your routine.

get them ready and skip the rest of the "nice guy" stuff.




u/anon2929 · 5 pointsr/OneY

There is a lot of research going on with organizations and journals dedicated to the subject.
American Psychological Association: Division 51 Society for Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity. This is probably your best resource. They have a page dedicated Research Briefs. Their Div 51 Journal - Psychology of Men & Masculinity will provide a thorough review of research published in the area.
There is also the Men and Masculinities Journal, the
Journal of Men, Masculinities and Spirituality, and the
Journal of Men's Studies. I'm sure that I am missing some but these are the ones that I know of. You could probably also find a text book that covers a lot of these ideas. I think the standard is APA Handbook of Men and Masculinities, Handbook of Studies on Men and Masculinities, and Masculinities 2nd Edition.

If you find anything you think interesting please post it over to /r/manfeelings. I'm collecting interesting articles and pieces over there.

u/Ardonpitt · 26 pointsr/AskAnthropology

Well there are all sorts of tribes that are matrilineal and matrilocal and even to degrees matriarchal. But its kinda a false dichotomy to say that ANY group is fully patriarchal or fully matriarchal. In almost every culture there is a split of power along different lines.

In matrilineal cultures there tends to be a split that women control basically the family, but men act on the behalf outside the home. So women control the home, the tribal activities. But men do the trading (and have control over that), men do the fighting (and have control over that.

A good example would be of the Mosuo. There is a lot of hype in feminist circles about them being Matriarchal but they kinda are missing the nuance for political gain. They are probably the most matriarchal culture out there. This is a pretty good ethnography on them, but I would also suggest reading This. It shows as more economic contact is made the there has been the culture is changing, so they aren't exactly the same as the ethnography put them.

It comes down to how the power is allocated really. I mean if you are in a small tribe where basically home life is the only political life and the mother controls the home then yeah its going to seem matriarchal. But even if that were the same model except most of the activity is outside the home and the men controlled that it is going to seem more patriarchal.

Here is a list of what is typically seen as matrilineal and matrilocal societies. As you will see they are incredibly diverse and cross the world. But matriarchy/patriarchy is something a bit harder to put your fingers on.

u/bluemamie · 3 pointsr/SRSDiscussion

Sure. I would argue that those stereotypes of sexual prowess and masculinity are very clear examples of how these standards can hurt men. I don't believe there is such a thing as 'perfect privilege' either. There is only more or less in relation to others.

Just like female beauty standards can keep all women, regardless of appearance, from experiencing their true potential in different ways, standards of masculinity inhibit men the same way.

Men are often robbed of emotional support by these unreasonable standards of masculinity. Just like women, men often feel deep, deep shame for not measuring up to these standards. Conversely, the men who do live up to these standards often live in fear of losing that status. This manifests as the stereotypical jock beating up the weak kid. It's the male analog to the thin girl who is constantly afraid of becoming fat.

Personally I think that's why so many male Redditors feel so angered by being called out for dog-piling inappropriate jokes and catcalling women in Reddit threads. They are essentially screaming "Don't you see? This is the only emotional outlet I have!" And they feel that to be true in a profound way.

I don't say that to make excuses for the behavior, but I can see it as an explantation for why so many otherwise decent guys do this.

Have you ever heard of RW Connell's theory of Multiple Masculinities? Like I said above, I'm not an expert, and I've only begun my reading on the subject, but her concept of varying types of masculine ideals makes a lot of sense to me.

here is her book

a jstor article

this looks like a good basic introduction

u/KlingonSingleFather · 4 pointsr/femalefashionadvice

These decisions that we make are not created in a vacuum. We have all been socialized to accept skin "imperfections" on men more than women. The high standards of beauty have caused us to self police. So no one has to tell the woman that doesn't wear makeup that she looks tired---it might be on her mind anyway and that's not an accident. There's an entire billion dollar industry that tells us that beauty is self care, self esteem, and self improvement. And there are rewards for buying into this idea. So I wouldn't ever lay the responsibility on women for making these decisions---some people are more affected by this marketing than others but none of us are immune.

I used to think that I was "lazy" when it came to my appearance. But I had a therapist point out to me that that it's BS. All that is required of me as a human (regarding my appearance) is that I maintain good hygiene and dress appropriately for the occasion. I've realized that women are made to feel lazy if they don't go above and beyond because our appearance (unfairly) plays such a huge role in our status. Heels, makeup, hair appointments, waxing and on trend fashion are all ~extra~. Finding "flattering" clothing is all about hiding the things that we have been socialized to believe are unsightly. We are made to believe that we are supposed to be skinny, poreless, hairless art objects.

This book is not perfect, but The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf is about this very subject....published in 1990, critics saw it as heresy!

u/Something_CleverHere · 10 pointsr/AskFeminists

> Feminism, at least on here, seems to completely ignore those factors and jump straight for 'social construct' with no evidence, no reasoning, and no discussion.

This is a false assertion on your part. There is a lot of very powerful evidence that gender is in fact the product of social forces and has very little to do with biology. This evidence emerges from decades of intensive research by sociologists, anthropologists, psychologists and even biologists - who will often point out that while humans are a sexually dimorphic species, the extent of that dimorphism is fairly small.

One of the reasons you might not be seeing this evidence in discussions of gender online is because, frankly, having to stop a discussion to provide links to this exhaustive mountain of evidence every time someone with little knowledge of the material demands to see it is frustrating and tiresome. There are hundreds - thousands - of introductory textbooks from sociology, anthropology, gender studies, and psychology that talk about the social construction of gender; if you want to see the evidence, then look there. Most feminists accept the academic consensus that gender is primarily the product of culture, and because that consensus is grounded in the best possible empirical research, you should accept it too.

Or don't. I'm not your boss. But if you don't accept it, then you should accept that in rejecting the social construction of gender, you're also rejecting the preponderance of evidence, which might not be the best place to plant your flag.

>I think saying it's 100% socially constructed is probably wrong too...

Good thing that's not what most people are saying. Bodies exist. They are the things onto which we inscribe our cultural values. But they are also incredibly malleable and so they are shaped and reshaped by the dictates of culture.

Why do children raised in poverty have poorer health outcomes than those raised in middle class or rich environments? Because poverty correlates with poorer diets, fewer calories consumed per day, and a lack of regular access to gyms or after-school fitness programs. Poor bodies are shaped in different ways than rich bodies because of culture. I mean, hell, the foundation of epidemiology is the recognition that cultural forces have enormous impact on bodies.

Why are men bigger and stronger than women? Biology? Perhaps, but we also cannot overlook the fact that in our society - and in many others - men are expected to consume an average of 300-400 additional calories per day than women. Is this because men are "naturally" bigger and stronger than women, or are men bigger and stronger than women because they've historically had access to higher calorie diets (which we know result in bigger, stronger people)? Do men have more muscle mass because testosterone, or do they have more muscle mass because they are incentivized to be more muscled than women - who are treated worse if their own muscle mass begins to impact their perceived femininity? Men are supposed to be big and strong; women are supposed to be petite and "trim" or "fit but not overly muscled". Men know this and women know this, and our recognition of these normative standards will pressure us to sculpt our bodies in different ways.

What I'm saying is that the cliches of "men are strong because biology, men like blue because culture" is reductionist to the point of being useless. The reality is far, far more complicated than this, but in the end, in light of decades of research into the question of nature v. nurture, the broad consensus is "a little bit of biology, and a whole boatload of culture".

u/dry_zooplankton · 2 pointsr/ftm

I think what you posted is a really good start if it's specific to your area. For additional resources, this website has a lot of info for providers on prescribing T (http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=guidelines-masculinizing-therapy) & the WPATH Standards of Care would be a good one (https://www.wpath.org/publications/soc), but I know there's some disagreement about some of its recommendations. The book Trans Bodies, Trans Selves (https://www.amazon.com/Trans-Bodies-Selves-Transgender-Community/dp/0199325359) is a really good comprehensive overview & would be a great place for a psychiatrist who wants to learn more to start. It's basically a textbook but costs around $30 on Amazon, they keep the price low to make it as accessible as possible.

u/ordinarylove · -5 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

Side note that didn't get addressed by Dr. Nerdlove- The LW's family was not a feminist family even though her mother was the breadwinner. An abusive relationship cannot be feminist in nature because abuse (from any party in a relationship) goes against the very heart of feminism.

There's some great research being done by academics in gender studies on toxic masculinity and if anyone is interested in some reading material, there are some great folks like R. W. Connell, Michael Kimmel, or Tony Porter that might be helpful.

u/gnurdette · 1 pointr/asktransgender

How old is she?

I haven't read it, but this looks interesting: Trans Bodies, Trans Selves

Or, if you want to go for clothing, opaque black tights are easy to fit, go with everything, have a place in all but the butchest wardrobes, and nobody ever has too many.

You're awesome.

u/GrassRabbitt · 2 pointsr/Anthropology

Ah, I study this literature. First, go read Matthew Gutmann's everything. Then, read all his articles, but especially 'Trafficking in Men' in Annual Review (1997).

Secondly, read a good part of RW Connell's Masculinities, which is theory heavy but very, very good.

More ethnographically focused work is [The Cassowary's Revenge] (http://www.amazon.com/Cassowarys-Revenge-Masculinity-Society-Sexuality/dp/0226819515/ref=sr_1_14?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1344394669&sr=1-14&keywords=masculinities) and Dwight MacDonald's work in Palestine. That should be enough for now

u/Pr4zz4 · 3 pointsr/Jung

There are several. Here’s just a few I’ve enjoyed.

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062506064/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_04ugDbXGHB18G

Iron John: A Book about Men https://www.amazon.com/dp/0306824264/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_h5ugDb5X2WAJ8

The Hero with a Thousand Faces (The Collected Works of Joseph Campbell) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1577315936/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_y5ugDbNTGC2GM

u/hibernatingbears · 3 pointsr/ftm

Awesome, and congrats on all the work you're doing! Good luck moving; I always find that process really stressful, but then settling into a new place is great.

Self-Reliance really helped me out early in transition, and so did the book Nobody Passes, in case you want to check it out once you're in your new place.

u/ProjectVivify · 8 pointsr/AskMen

The Way of Men by Jack Donovan.

It explores masculinity from a perspective of evolutionary psychology from Hunter/Gatherer societies and why certain masculine traits are valued.

After reading it its quite easy to look at how men interact and understand why they do the things they do, and how and why certain things are respected among them.

u/bearvivant · 1 pointr/lgbt

It's not about Stonewall, but Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940 explores a lot of interesting stuff most people don't know about. I took Chauncey's queer history class at Yale. It was amazing.

As for trans* stuff, I'd recommend a lot of theory. Judith Butler mainly. I'd also recommend Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity.

u/bobbyfiend · 1 pointr/InsightfulQuestions

That's exactly what I'm saying. Here is one of the go-to works that really got this conversation going a few years back. And it's not "unlikely" at all, in a linguistic sense, for labels--especially those that refer to really broad things imbued with social and political import--to be multivalent, to have different definitions for different individuals, or to just be really vaguely defined. For example, go ask a hundred people to talk for a few minutes about what "freedom" means to them, or "America," or "education," etc. Cultures (and certain groups in the culture) sometimes have a vested interest in restricting the definitions of various terms, and this masks their true variety. For instance, many people believe that there is only one definition of "American," and might become angry if you explain that there are various ways to define that term.

"Masculinity" is very much like the examples above. I think some examples will demonstrate:

  • In the domain of "grooming," a person can be very "masculine" by smelling awful and never shaving his face or trimming his hair, looking like a tidy lumberjack with a bit of stubble, looking crisp and James-Bond-like in a tuxedo, being perfumed and manicured all metrosexual, having just the right amount of rumple and scruff in a hipster way, etc.
  • In the domain of "sexual fidelity," you can be "masculine" by being unfailingly faithful to your current partner, by sleeping with everything your junk is compatible with, by practicing "serial monogamy" with many partners in a row, and probably some other things.
  • In the domain of "parenting styles," you can be "masculne" by being extremely patient and engaged with your child, by stoically modeling a keep-your-mouth-shut-and-get-things-done ethos, by being a cold and harsh authoritarian drill sergeant, by yelling and hitting your child, etc.

    All those examples are "masculine," and they don't all work together. You might say that some are more masculine than others. I'd say "prove it." I've met people who have very different core beliefs about what it is to be a man, or a "good man," or a "natural man," etc. (we can't even agree on that--what "masculine" actually refers to).

    There is a concept sometimes called "hegemonic masculinity," and I think it refers to what many people sometimes call "traditional masculinity." It looks a lot like the Hispanic concept of machismo. It is not a nice way of being a man; it usually includes dominating others, constantly being prepared for violence, being sexually promiscuous to a pretty riduculous degree, etc. It's not called "traditional masculinity" as much in scholarly circles, I think, for a good reason: it's no more "traditional" than any other conceptualization of masculinity; in the (admittedly Western) cultures I have experience with, there have always been multiple masculinities. They vary by geographic region, social stratum, personality type, family background, religious expression, ethnic heritage, education level, and probably more stuff. In fact, I think masculinities even vary within individuals--we are a different kind of masculine (at least many of us) depending on the situation we are in, or the life tasks we're dealing with (e.g., finding a mate in our 20s versus raising children or building a career later).

    So OP's question can't be answered as asked, because there is not one thing that is "masculinity."
u/LittleStori · 2 pointsr/CasualConversation

There's a really good book called Nobody Passes. The basic idea is that ALL of us are trying to pass as something, and have fears about whether or not we're succeeding. Some of us are just attempting to pass on things that are more ... controversial, I suppose? I am not trans*, but I am a Lesbian married to a dude, I was raised Mormon, and I have always felt like I don't fit in anywhere. Reading the book was a great dose of solidarity for me, to know there were others out there who felt out of place.

u/sworebytheprecious · 5 pointsr/SRSDiscussion

SPOILER ALERT:

I'm more interested in Sam "Samantha" Healey. Trans* as well?

Here is a little fan theory I just thought of. Healey is Ukranian right? In parts of the Balkans (although it is dying out) there is a class of persons known as "Sworn Virgins." They are/were women who dressed, acted, and took the role of men to become household heads to protect their families. Unlike women they could inhereit property and some even married (though they of course did not have children). Some were raised to become Sworn Virgins by their parents when no male heir was produced in the family.

This would explain Healey's rigid bend to traditions, the name "Samantha," and the unsuccessful marriage to the Russian bride. He/she's of the older generation so he was raised to be a Sworn Virgin by his/her mother but when he/she came to the states, Healey had to undergo a physical and was discovered to be female. So Immigration gave Sam a female name and he/she went on to play the male role in the house while hiding his female gender from the rest of society. Until later, of course, when Sam gets a job with the department of corrections. He/she is able to hide it and has to have a more thourough backround screening...

Sam's superior Caputo is the only one who knows because he has access to his/her file. He uses this information to intimidate Sam (calling his "Samantha" in one episode).

Given what we know about Healey, and the subtle clues the show has given about his/her heritage, this could be a possibility and an interesting twist!

For more information on the Balkan's history of Sworn Virgins, read this book

A Slate article on them.



u/pixis-4950 · 1 pointr/doublespeaklockstep

sworebytheprecious wrote:

SPOILER ALERT:

I'm more interested in Sam "Samantha" Healey. Trans* as well?

Here is a little fan theory I just thought of. Healey is Ukranian right? In parts of the Balkans (although it is dying out) there is a class of persons known as "Sworn Virgins." They are/were women who dressed, acted, and took the role of men to become household heads to protect their families. Unlike women they could inhereit property and some even married (though they of course did not have children). Some were raised to become Sworn Virgins by their parents when no male heir was produced in the family.

This would explain Healey's rigid bend to traditions, the name "Samantha," and the unsuccessful marriage to the Russian bride. He/she's of the older generation so he was raised to be a Sworn Virgin by his/her mother but when he/she came to the states, Healey had to undergo a physical and was discovered to be female. So Immigration gave Sam a female name and he/she went on to play the male role in the house while hiding his female gender from the rest of society. Until later, of course, when Sam gets a job with the department of corrections. He/she is able to hide it and has to have a more thourough backround screening...

Sam's superior Caputo is the only one who knows because he has access to his/her file. He uses this information to intimidate Sam (calling his "Samantha" in one episode).

Given what we know about Healey, and the subtle clues the show has given about his/her heritage, this could be a possibility and an interesting twist!

For more information on the Balkan's history of Sworn Virgins, read this book

A Slate article on them.

u/AlliePiper · 1 pointr/asktransgender

I'm amazed no one has mentioned this yet, but Julia Serano's books (The Whipping Girl and Excluded) both discuss this in great detail with a focus on anti-trans and anti-bisexual discrimination in queer/feminist circles.

Definitely worth checking out if you're interested in this stuff.

u/CopperFox3c · 22 pointsr/TheRedPill

> female feminist here in good faith to learn and add new perspective for the sake of the evolutionary and ecological principles of diversity

What? That sentence doesn't mean anything. I have a PhD lady, big words don't impress me, only meaning does.

Men have a gang mentality, always have, always will. Go read Jack Donovan's book "The Way of Men". That has nothing to do with individual agency. Individuals acting in concert still maintain their autonomy. It is only when others want to tell/shame them into behaving in particular ways (as feminists/SJWs/progressives like to do), that they become hypo-agents.

Actually, you make a great argument against feminism, ironically enough.

u/Gleanings · 4 pointsr/Lodge49

Lodge 49 S01E06 The Mysteries

We are somewhere between Albedo and Citrinitas, or the White Phase to the Yellow Phase. Larry's memory is heavily cast in yellow light, as is his room and upholstered chairs, even his shirt. Cinitras is when we change from the Moon to the Sun, from reflecting the light of others to becoming a source of light ourselves.

In the three Pillars of the Tree of Life, Severity, Mercy and Balance, Dud seems to be taking the path of Severity (which starts with passivity), Liz the Path of Mercy (which starts with taking action), and Ernie the Path of Balance (living in the here and now).

“He who thinks a fire, is a fire.” is a hex being cast by Wallis Smith onto child Larry. What a dickish thing to do to your girl-on-the-side’s son. In real lodges, a President only serves a one year term, to keep their heads from getting too swelled like this, and the officer’s line keeps moving people up so that will be many Past Presidents lying around to check the power of the current year’s one should he get out of line. Those Thanksgiving decorations, including the bark canoe, are pretty sweet tho.

“Except we’re the Lynx. Not the Masons. The Masons were wannabe Rosicrucians. And the Rosicrucians were a hoax that pretty much just got out of hand. You know, there's a really great essay by this British junkie--" There have been so many conjectures about the origins of Freemasonry by so many authors, all of whom contradict each other, that this essay of Duds could be hidden among any of the Prestonian Lectures, the hundreds of books published by Lewis Masonic, or since Scotland is part of Great Britain, it could be Origins of Freemasonry: Scotland’s Century. But we see Dud has taken seriously Blaise’s statement that he wouldn’t respect Dud if he didn’t put in the work and study necessary to earn becoming a Knight.

[Edit: Hat tip to /u/ficta, who saw the clue was in "British junkie", which I completely missed despite it being there in the closed captions. This makes the essay most likely Historico-Critical Inquiry Into the Origin of the Rosicrucians and the Freemasons by Thomas De Quincey. Warning: It has a wandering, fatiguing intro, just skip to Chapter 2. ]

“Who’s not afraid of the dark, Liz? At least it makes sense. You know what doesn’t make sense? Being afraid of the light.” …says the guy starting a nightshift job where he will be chased by dark shadowy figures similar to the shadow man alchemical symbol for Earth.

Champ’s Marxist rants about corporations are self-fulfilling. He chooses to place himself in the pressure cooker, and refuses to step away. He chooses to work two jobs at the same time. I wonder if he also saves money by having no home or bed to sleep in. His anti-capitalism rants offer no solution, no way out, nothing to change to, just bitterness at his alienation and disempowerment. Maybe if he quit his speed habit he could afford to quit one of his bottom of the ladder jobs and be less stressed. While Dud idealizes pastoral naturalism, Champ demonizes industrial capitalism. Even a future when Champ retires and is replaced by robots is dystopian. Dystopian literature is a particularly bad fantasy genre that misleads angsty teen mid-wits into believing they’re in-on-the-secret visionaries.

Ernie is declared Sovereign Protector, which Jung would say now makes Ernie a Senex.

Larry “goes down swinging” in the same spot outside the lodge of his childhood fist fight.

Dud is quickly moving up in the world. From a Fool, through the three Medieval ranks of Those who Work, and now to Those Who Fight. (Er, those who drive away quickly.)

Notice what the thieves are stealing? They’re cutting out copper electrical lines from the Orbis warehouse.

Alice’s motivational exhortations ("You're so weak! You suck at this!") are all dude bro shit talking, which takes a shift in thinking for some to understand how it works: She challenges you, saying who you are is not good enough. You overcome her by proving her wrong and doing better. It’s her quick way of filtering for winners, which are people willing to push themselves to improve.

Alice has displaced the Father's "Relax" pillow, throwing it onto the floor, and taken the Father's position on the couch herself while she challenges Liz to "improve her core". She can casually do this because Alice's name means "nobility".

"You moved the couch". The couch for Liz is the structure that she has placed herself, her father, and her brother into since childhood, giving her comfort. Liz has finally developed enough core (spirit) to shift her couch, and shift the relationships that the three have all been locked in even past death, breaking at last the parent's hold over them all. This breakthrough was not without risk, and the power released by the child rebelling against the parent and breaking these relationship constraints has injured and hospitalized her.

Liz has destroyed the image of her old self, transforming into someone new. While Dud's changes come from study and learning, Liz's changes result from intoxication. She ends with a cable tow tied around her neck. She may have stumbled on the carpet in the same place a second time as when she went to answer the door earlier ...or she may have stumbled on her father's Relax pillow that was thrown there by Alice. And did she really stumble there earlier, or just injure herself in the same place Dud is injured when she said his name out loud?

The scrolls will now become the McGuffin of the show? They're going to feel really dumb when they find out the Corpus Hermeticum is available on Kindle. What about all the first editions already sitting in the rediscovered library? Are they chopped liver?

Avery again gets 15 seconds of screen time, now making the character a Chekhov's gun. His name means "counsel". Real lodges issue membership cards that travelling members use to identify themselves as "members in good standing" to other lodges that also shows their rank within the organization. There used to be certain phrases and handshakes, but are only used ceremonially anymore because frankly once learned those don't expire when members get cheap and stop paying their dues. We're all now trained to look for a current membership card to enforce against travelling cheapskates that aren't current in dues with their home lodge drifting around satellite lodges to continue milking unpaid for membership benefits. You quickly learn to flash your current membership card first thing to the bartender when visiting any of your order's out of town lodge's taverns to show you're in good standing with your home lodge, and the first thing every bartender looks for is the current year on your card. The Grand Lodge officers are particularly diligent on flashing their membership cards because they want to discourage lax security and encourage enforcing keeping everyone up in their dues. "Is there room at the Inn?", if a real Lynx phrase used to identify a travelling Lynx member to another lodge when they don't have a current membership card, has got to be the lamest phrase ever, and this kind of easy to fake impostor credentialism is precisely why all the fraternities have moved on from using secret handshakes and password phrases to rewarding paying your annual dues with a membership card with the new year's graphics, card color background, and the newly paid for year prominently displayed ...that expires when the next lodge dues are up.

There is a theory that Lodge 49 itself is a character, and that its spirits speaks to the main characters through birds and weather. If so, the happy bird chirps and bright light when Avery crosses over the threshold and under the lintel means at least the Lodge spirits like him.

Kenneth Welsh has his own theory why his character Larry punched Dud.

The closing a cappella version of “Nature Boy” was sang by Tom Patterson's wife Susy Kane in their living room.

u/sex_and_cannabis · 1 pointr/OneY

I really loved Iron John by Robert Bly. It's a book that tries get at old wisdom of what it means to be man through myths and mythology.

My therapist from a few years ago, who was a woman, gave it to me.

It's hard to put it into words what it's about as the book is mostly allegory and metaphor. But I still recommend it.

u/roomofmyown · 3 pointsr/therapy

I'm really sorry you are going through this tough time. Gender and identity can be tricky and heartbreaking for millennial in liberal cities (like me), it can be much harder for people in your situation. But that doesn't mean its impossible.

​

I imagine that this will be tricky to suppress for the rest of your life. Being in touch with who we are is important, even if it can be tough. But that doesn't mean it needs to happen all at once, or in a disorganised manner. Sometimes having a few people who know the 'real you' can alleviate some of the pressure. One of those people might be a therapist who can help you work through any other options that are available.

​

You might find this book helpful, Meg John Barker is an excellent writer on gender (gen x, I would guess). I've also heard good things about Kate Borstein's Gender Outlaw (and she narrates the audiobook so you could listen to it on your commute) - she's gen x as well.

​

I hope this helps, and my thoughts are with you.

u/rcrow2009 · 4 pointsr/lgbt

You're bi, you're awesome, live your best life.

One thing that helped me was learning about other famous bisexual people, reading their stories, hearing their words. It's very affirming.

Some books you might consider reading:
Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution https://www.amazon.com/dp/1580054749/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_meWnDb4RYF9WB

Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0965388158/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_VeWnDbX28YXHB

Bi Any Other Name - Bisexual People Speak Out https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626011990/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ufWnDb1EWEQDE

Recognize: The Voices of Bisexual Men https://www.amazon.com/dp/0965388174/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_xhWnDbFK28M2N

u/Pondernautics · 2 pointsr/JordanPeterson

https://www.amazon.com/Society-without-Fathers-Husbands-China/dp/1890951137

I recommend this anthropology book for anyone interested in this topic. In Na society, unclehood is considered more important than fatherhood. It's very different and interesting

u/Qeraeth · 4 pointsr/feminisms

>And then there is this thread of comments where one person asks why an article about bisexual males is included in /r/feminisms.

You'll notice that that person got pretty heavily downvoted and that a whole bunch of heavily upvoted people in that thread politely took apart the idea that feminism shouldn't involve itself in the issues of LGBT men, including one of the moderators. I would not take that as a sign of being unwelcome.

>The closest that anybody came was when somebody pointed out how feminism is concerned with the expecations placed on men and how they effect women's inequality.

I think that's an important issue to consider because it works both ways. The perpetuation of women's inequality also hurts men. There is a reciprocal effect in oppressive systems that necessarily create difficult situations for those who are supposed to be privileged within it; thus the genesis of many male gendered social issues and traps.

Sometimes one has to consider issues discretely, other times you can only consider them as part of an interconnected system of social relations. What happens to women impacts men and vice versa to varying degrees for different issues.

>Am I wrong about this? Is feminism concerned with men's experiences as well?

These days there as many feminisms as there are feminists. A welter of different responses could easily accompany your question. My answer is yes. It absolutely is. Partially for the reasons I outlined above- the interconnected nature of humanity- and partially because the business of undoing the various straitjackets of hegemonic gender require everyone's participation.

Men's Lives is one of the leading gender studies texts on masculinity; it's an anthology.

Masculinities is also a critical text. What I meant by 'hegemonic gender' is elucidated on in its pages, and as the title implies, Professor Connell's thesis is that there are multiple ways of 'doing' masculinity in our world that vary by culture, race, class, age, and so on. Her contention is that each plays a critical role in maintaining the established norms of gender, while some are more subversive.

Manhood in America analyses the relatively recent history of how modern ideas of what it means to be a man (the ideas of your father that you rebelled against, likely) came into being.

On Amazon's "Related Books" pane you can find several others on this subject by men and women alike and it'll give you some insight into the multiplicity of progressive and feminist perspectives on manhood in Western culture.

I think part of the issue that so many of us, men and women, still suffer from is that we do tend to see everything oppositionally. Even I'm still getting out of that Manichean mindset. However, as you read and research you'll eventually come to see the at times delicate but synchronous waltz of men and women's relations within feminism. You should understand that women discussing their issues vis a vis men they've dealt with or been hurt by is not an attack against you as a man, but attempting to guilt them for speaking up will be problematic.

Rather, try to understand where they're coming from and why. The vast majority of feminist women do not hate, automatically mistrust, automatically dismiss, or automatically marginalise men. But discussing feminist issues requires frank discussion of people's (men and women's) experiences with gender, which often includes conflicts with masculinity and/or men, as that's just how power is often distributed and flowing.

The trick is to learn not to be threatened by it and go "but not all men are like that!" and you'll be fine. Because we all know that. :P

Conflict is omnipresent in feminisms. Conflict is what gave rise to feminisms rather than just a continued unitary feminism. Disagreements are common, writers and bloggers go back and forth with each other, academic conferences can be acrimonious, battles of inclusion are still being waged in various sectors... It wouldn't be feminism without the arguing, I'll tell you that!

You learn to embrace it, after a while.

What feminism en toto consists of is thousands of groups, great and small, millions upon millions of men, women, and those otherwise identified, disassociated women's and gender studies departments in universities worldwide, tonnes of academics, writers, intellectuals, slam poets, street activists, clinic escorts, journalists, editors, web mavens, bloggers, artists, musicians, and more who inform feminism with their work, research, reporting, passion, art, and every day experiences.

They're never all going to agree with one another. :)

Feminism isn't one thing controlled from a central location wherein we all have nice matching hot pink uniforms- awesome as those would be. It's very widespread and diffuse. There's room for quite a lot within it.

If you look, you'll find your place. ::smiles::

u/kspieler · 1 pointr/bisexual

You don't need to worry about what other people think about the orientation you identify as...it's your identity and you are the one who identifies it and the one who matters! You don't need to prove your orientation to anyone (not even yourself) with any sexual behavior...orientation isn't about behavior, but rather longer-term potential for attraction. Some people may re-identify with experiences, growth, or time, but people need to be believed for what they say...doubt to this is usually just rude and misconcieved. We are #stillBisexual for years and to the end of our life.

As to stereotype and intersectionality, the best and most empowering book I've read is from Shiri Eisner, Bi: Notes on a Bisexual Revolution. It explains why stereotypes exist and then spins them around to reexamine what they say about culture.

u/psychedelicdandy · 5 pointsr/NonBinary

A lot of it is just how you feel internally. I'm amab, but don't usually present in a feminine way in public due to how many assholes are out there. When I do, I make sure that I'm armed.

This book would probably answer all of your questions, and it does so in a very user friendly and easy to understand way, even for people who are straight and cis: How to Understand Your Gender https://www.amazon.com/dp/1785927469/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_txISDbVPY8001

u/[deleted] · 1 pointr/science

If you're a GSM, or know any GSMs, it becomes clearly obvious that much of it is nurture. Even if you're not or don't know anyone, you should read about it if you're interested. I'd suggest this and this

u/kage-e · 1 pointr/genderqueer

Sorry for the late reply, I only now stumbled upon your question.

Here are some more books that I haven't seen mentioned. All of them are non-fiction, all of the authors have published more on the topic.

u/DerBonk · 5 pointsr/GamerGhazi

Masculinity Studies is a huge field in Gender Studies, there are shelves and shelves full of books about masculinity. This book sounds like a good starting place: http://www.amazon.de/Masculinities-R-W-Connell/dp/0520246985/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1414234224&sr=8-1&keywords=masculinity

Porter is so convincing to many gamers/nerds, I believe, because nerds traditionally did not conform with at least some aspects of the "man box," which just makes this rabid anti-feminism and misogyny even harder to stomach for me.

u/zed_0mega · 1 pointr/AskMen

I highly recommend The Way of Men by Jack Donovan. One of the best books of this sort.

u/hipsterparalegal · 1 pointr/books

Yup, got some good ones for you:

Three Years of Hate: The Very Best of In Mala Fide: http://www.amazon.com/Three-Years-Hate-Very-ebook/dp/B00AWJVZXK

The Way of Men by Jack Donovan: http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-of-Men-ebook/dp/B007O0Y1ZE/

Here a good review of the Donovan: http://uncouthreflections.wordpress.com/2013/02/02/jack-donovans-the-way-of-men/

u/gary1994 · 3 pointsr/pureasoiaf

There is no Deus ex Machina in that story. It is all metaphor. There's an entire book that breaks down that one story.

https://www.amazon.com/Iron-John-Book-about-Men/dp/0306824264/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536061283&sr=8-1&keywords=iron+john

If books like that interest you I'd also recommend Lion's Honey. It breaks down the story of Samson and Delilah.

https://www.amazon.com/Lions-Honey-Samson-David-Grossman/dp/1841959138/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1536061367&sr=1-1&keywords=lion%27s+honey

u/redwall92 · 3 pointsr/redpillfatherhood

I'd recommend the book Iron John by Robert Bly.

https://www.amazon.com/Iron-John-Book-about-Men/dp/0306824264

This book gives a high-level, in the clouds presentation of how boys become men. There's a normal attachment children have with their mother until about 10-12 or so. It's different for different kids; it's not black and white. But there comes a time when the boy must make a break with "the Mother". Bly goes through a few different cultures and how the break is made with some rite of initiation.

Your children will naturally listen to the mother until they get close to this "make the break" time. Too early of a break because of an unloving mother or problems in the home or whatever, and some problems can arise. Too late of a break with the mother ... well ... soy boys and men that can't adult and other problems.

I compare the book Iron John to TWOTSM ... just applied to raising boys. Kind of spiritual, kind of ethereal ... but the understand it can impart is great.

u/throwaway37421 · 4 pointsr/asktransgender

If you want a history that focuses on the U.S., Susan Stryker's book Transgender History is good.

If you want a world history, there isn't really one single book that covers specifically transgender history in the whole world. The best one is Leslie Feinberg's Transgender Warriors, though it has some problems.

u/TheExSexOffender · 2 pointsr/MGTOW

> Esther Vilar in "The Manipulated Man"

That book is almost 180 bucks on Amazon. I have it on my list, but I just can't see spending that kind of money for a book at the moment.

That's how important and controlled that book is in today's world. When I saw that price and how restricted/hard to get it was, that immediately setoff some massive Red Alerts.

It's easier for me to get Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf than it is a copy of that book.

Let that sink in.

https://www.amazon.com/Manipulated-Man-Esther-Vilar/dp/1905177178/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1482345217&sr=8-1&keywords=Esther+Vilar+in+%22The+Manipulated+Man%22

u/smashes2ashes · 3 pointsr/AskWomen

Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions is a college textbook but it's chapters on men and masculinity are very informative and easy to understand.

u/YouJustKilledTheJoke · 3 pointsr/philosophy

Check out Susan Moller Okin's Justice, Gender, and the Family for one of the most prominent feminist critiques of Rawls. Also, a quick Google search yielded this paper, which you may find interesting.

u/Garl_Vinland · 2 pointsr/TheRedPill

The Way of Men by Jack Donovan is a great place to start.

Here is a video introduction.

u/theroseandthefox · 2 pointsr/polyamory

My favorite term is "racialized", because it really highlights the fact that white is the default assumption.

edit: highly recommended source: Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution, by Shiri Eisner, which touches on lots of intersectional issues, including race

u/tgjer · 3 pointsr/lgbt

For ancient stuff, Leslie Feinberg's book Transgender Warriors is a place to start. It's not really academically rigorous, but a good introduction to gender-variant people and stories from ancient history to today.

u/topdog82 · 1 pointr/asktrp

Male 23 last year of university graduating in a Computer Engineering degree

http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Man-Corey-Wayne/dp/1411673360
Its basically a cross between a basic book like "Bang" and "The way of men". PUA crossed with some more serious/relevant messages about masculinity and purusing goals
http://www.amazon.com/Way-Men-Jack-Donovan/dp/0985452307

I have been in only one serious LTR. Girl broke my heart. I spent 1 year without touching a woman and wallowing in my own pity because the LTR cheated. I had a serious health issue that kept my bedridden for a long time. Other than that, I am just getting started with TRP and realizing my value in the sexual marketplace. So in short; fairly inexperienced. Just getting started. Thats why I am posting this topic

Well I guess that means I should just keep spinning plates till I get someone valuable. And if not, fuck marraige

u/darkpurple_ · 2 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

TIL /u/bawkedybawk is the only other person in the sub wishing for this book! One day I will read it... seems almost a rite of passage lol.

u/Grant1412 · 7 pointsr/MGTOW

>the manipulated man

It looks very interesting:

https://www.amazon.com/Manipulated-Man-Esther-Vilar/dp/1905177178

I like the top review.

u/Dianthuses · 6 pointsr/socialism

Leslie Feinberg's Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue is fantastic!

u/Blackbelt54 · 14 pointsr/communism

Not all of these are ML and not all of them are that recent, but here's some good Marxist books written by women & trans comrades:

u/mauritia · 6 pointsr/changemyview

That fear may be overblown but this is a thing that some people are doing-- making certain strong women from history who were uncomfortable with gender roles or wore men's clothing into trans men.

Here's a New Yorker piece suggesting Carson McCullers was really a trans man for no good reason: http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/white-writer/amp

Here's a book about "transgender warriors" that includes Joan of Arc: https://www.amazon.ca/Transgender-Warriors-Making-History-Dennis/dp/0807079413

u/BabaxGanoosh · 1 pointr/TheRedPill
  1. The Way Of Men.
    This book changed my life. Im sure anyone on this sub will recognize themselves and the situations Donovan writes about.

  2. Anything by Robert Greene.
    How to become powerful, seductive and master yourself.

  3. Meditations.
    This book helped me overcome my fear of death, which made me give less fucks. Because in the end, nothing matters.

    I dont have anymore than that at the moment, but i would suggest reading biographies of great men. Right now im reading Seven Pillars Of Wisdom, T. E. Lawrence(of Arabia)s first hand account of the Arab uprising during the First World War
u/griffxx · 2 pointsr/GCdebatesQT

https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-History-Studies-Susan-Stryker/dp/158005224X
Transgender History (Seal Studies) (9781580052245): Susan ...

Used as the definitive Text at College and Universities.

https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Studies-Reader-1/dp/041594709X
The Transgender Studies Reader (Volume 1 ... - Amazon.com
Also used in college Gender Studies courses.

https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Warriors-Making-History-Dennis/dp/0807079413
Transgender Warriors : Making History from Joan ... - Amazon.com

I don't know how they labeled themselves, but it was definitely under the Tran Umbrella.

u/petrus4 · 0 pointsr/everymanshouldknow

> Can't stand his self righteous attitude.

As I said, it's a standard attitude among the wannabe alpha demographic. I don't generally read the manosphere on a regular basis, but occasionally one of them will say something vaguely interesting or intelligent. When they do, I just try to filter out the grunting and other bullshit, and get the actual information that they are offering.

As I also said in another topic, this sort of thing is pretty much a pure reaction to feminism. It's guys feeling threatened by women mobilising and becoming politically powerful, and thinking that they need a "me-too," movement in order to counter it. As a result, they have come up with a distorted Flanderisation of real masculinity to the same extent that feminism has done, where femininity is concerned. We've seen near-incoherent, ridiculous travesties like the one written by this idiot, for example.

u/thywayth · 2 pointsr/gaybros

I would stay with them and see how you feel. Also it REALLY helps to learn as much as you can about the trans experience and trans issues.

http://www.youtube.com/user/tsdollhouse/

reddit.com/r/transgender

http://www.amazon.com/Trans-Bodies-Selves-Transgender-Community/dp/0199325359

u/ok_go_get_em · 2 pointsr/TheRedPill

Speaking of redpill reading, I feel the need to shout out Jack Donovan here. Two of his books, "The Way of Men" and "Becoming a Barbarian" have been absolutely revolutionary for me. These are dangerous books, full of dangerous ideas. The former one, in particular, is an excellent primer in masculine virtue. I bet I've given half a dozen copies away. Read them, learn them, commit them to memory. Also recommended: "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius and "Letters from a Stoic" by the one and only Seneca.

u/kiDsALbDgC9QmLFiIrrj · 1 pointr/asktransgender

Trans Bodies, Trans Selves is pretty much an encyclopedia of trans.

u/Taredis · 1 pointr/trans

Trans bodies trans selves is a pretty good resource for trans folk and allies alike. There is a lot in there and can be a bit dense but it's really informative. https://www.amazon.com/Trans-Bodies-Selves-Transgender-Community/dp/0199325359

u/CaptainRallie · 5 pointsr/AskAnthropology

The Na people of China are the only group I've read about that don't practice marriage.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1890951137?pc_redir=1398108671&robot_redir=1

There are, however, places in which marriage practices bear little if any resemblance to what you might think of as marriage.

The Nandi for example have a really interesting tradition of female husbands.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nandi_people

u/SobriKate · 1 pointr/asktransgender

Sure, susans.org is a huge forum with allies and partners and trans people of all stripes.

This website is part of the Silvia Rivera project who is a rather well known leader in the community, since Stonewall, who died of cancer.
https://srlp.org/resources/trans-101/

There’s tons of trans vloggers you can go to. Most but not all have a 101 video, and/or talk about their experiences being trans. Here’s a list:
https://blog.feedspot.com/transgender_youtube_channels/

There’s a number of authors you may look into as well, here’s some books:
https://www.amazon.com/Whipping-Girl-Transsexual-Scapegoating-Femininity/dp/1580056229
https://www.amazon.com/Redefining-Realness-Path-Womanhood-Identity/dp/1476709130/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1543615079&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=janet+mock&dpPl=1&dpID=5179e6QMxzL&ref=plSrch
https://www.amazon.com/Surpassing-Certainty-What-Twenties-Taught/dp/1501145797/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1543615079&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=janet+mock&dpPl=1&dpID=511ZZslW8TL&ref=plSrch
https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-History-second-Todays-Revolution/dp/158005689X/ref=pd_aw_sbs_14_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=158005689X&pd_rd_r=0ddc8e87-f4eb-11e8-8ad5-2179f688e965&pd_rd_w=dZYLz&pd_rd_wg=l40fZ&pf_rd_i=mobile-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=926ebe02-3236-40c6-ac63-01ad178f498a&pf_rd_r=7XK0K0TEGTZS8SNQ9YMP&pf_rd_s=mobile-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=7XK0K0TEGTZS8SNQ9YMP
https://www.amazon.com/Trans-Bodies-Selves-Transgender-Community/dp/0199325359/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_of_15?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0199325359&pd_rd_r=0ddc8e87-f4eb-11e8-8ad5-2179f688e965&pd_rd_w=mqDub&pd_rd_wg=l40fZ&pf_rd_i=mobile-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=57b46099-d750-4d74-83ee-63ad64b310a4&pf_rd_r=7XK0K0TEGTZS8SNQ9YMP&pf_rd_s=mobile-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=7T7APJ7MA85RWVJHJW5T
https://www.amazon.com/Shes-Not-There-Life-Genders/dp/0385346972/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_of_17?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0385346972&pd_rd_r=0ddc8e87-f4eb-11e8-8ad5-2179f688e965&pd_rd_w=mqDub&pd_rd_wg=l40fZ&pf_rd_i=mobile-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=57b46099-d750-4d74-83ee-63ad64b310a4&pf_rd_r=7XK0K0TEGTZS8SNQ9YMP&pf_rd_s=mobile-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=BNNAHM1QDG52M4D25XX2
https://www.amazon.com/Gender-Outlaw-Men-Women-Rest/dp/1101973242/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_of_20?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1101973242&pd_rd_r=0ddc8e87-f4eb-11e8-8ad5-2179f688e965&pd_rd_w=mqDub&pd_rd_wg=l40fZ&pf_rd_i=mobile-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=57b46099-d750-4d74-83ee-63ad64b310a4&pf_rd_r=7XK0K0TEGTZS8SNQ9YMP&pf_rd_s=mobile-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=WC57YE4ZTSS8XPR20CRY

u/lalib · 2 pointsr/islam

Finally, someone who knows what I'm taking about and I can converse with about this topic!

Usually I just get people who bash me for being a feminist or people who can't comprehend that patriarchy is oppressive.


>If I disagree with a woman's choice to wear a burka or veil, then I am engaging in an act of paternalism by telling her that from my perspective she is being oppressed and that there is something wrong with her for not seeing that.

Bingo, that's the crux of the problem. It is so difficult to parse out what is someone's choice and what is an environmental influence. There is also a difficulty with talking about an oppressive system without somehow maligning the folks who seemingly choose to be oppressed by it.

My view is a very radical and liberal one that most people would not find appealing. It's absolute egalitarianism in the sense that I would like to see society reach a point where there are no gender roles. It's an ideal that would take many years to achieve, but that's what I take to be a better society. Gender roles (no matter how they are set up) are inherently sexist, and I would like to see them go.

I mean, I could say I became an atheist out of free choice, but I can easily trace the events over several years that led me onto the path I am now.

Was I first coerced by my environment to be muslim and then coerced by a new environment to become an atheist.

I don't know how interested you are in reading academic feminism, but if you ever want more info on what I'm trying to say, try Justice, Gender, and Family by Susan Okin.

u/Pussylickersaurus · 1 pointr/pussypassdenied

>Oh so you’re sexist against your own gender? Do you just say this stuff to make yourself look better than most women?

@ u/roccoseinfeld - May I recommend a book to you?

It's called: "THE MANIPULATED MAN"

It's author is: ESTHER Vilar

https://www.amazon.com/Manipulated-Man-Esther-Vilar/dp/1905177178

u/drewcordes · 6 pointsr/asktransgender

Tell her to do the work herself. She is a professional therapist, that's her job! I guarantee you aren't the first or last person she'll see with gender issues.

Books:
http://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Emergence-Therapeutic-Guidelines-Gender-Variant/dp/078902117X

http://www.amazon.com/Trans-Bodies-Selves-Transgender-Community/dp/0199325359

u/MetaMemeticMagician · 1 pointr/TheNewRight

Sex

The Way of Men – Jack Donovan***
Sperm Wars – Robin Baker
Sex at Dawn – Christopher Ryan
Why Men Rule – Steven Goldberg
The Manipulated Man – Esther Vilar
Is There Anything Good About Men? – Roy Baumeister
Demonic Males – Dale Peterson
The Essential Difference – Simon Baron-Cohen
The Mating Mind – Geoffrey Miller
The Red Queen – Matt Ridley

****

Government

Mau-mauing the Flak Catchers – Tom Wolfe
Public Choice: An Introduction – Iain McLean
On Government Employment – Foseti (blog post)
Yes, Minister – TV Show

****

​

u/awalt_cupcake · 1 pointr/TheRedPill

I was under the impression the manipulated man was the sidebar article. Is this the book you recommend?

u/MeltzerDriver · -1 pointsr/SquaredCircle

Nah, guys with my mindset have been around for decades before that cringeworthy subreddit was created.

The Way of Men by Jack Donovan.

u/pngbk · 1 pointr/rant

You would like "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar. She basically blasts women for being infantile jerks who trade access to their vagina for material support.

https://www.amazon.com/Manipulated-Man-Esther-Vilar/dp/1905177178

u/LilianH · 2 pointsr/GCdebatesQT

It's not that new. There is a book about this from 1997 (source)

u/Ronfar · 2 pointsr/new_right

The Way of Men, by Jack Donovan is a must read. Just finished it recently myself.

u/ftmichael · 3 pointsr/asktransgender

Also http://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Warriors-Making-History-Dennis/dp/0807079413 , which isn't US-specific but has a lot of US-based content.

u/MondoKai · 7 pointsr/TransyTalk

Not doing summaries/reviews, cause it's late and I'm tired. On request, I suppose. Mostly books, with a couple docs and a few blogs.


Less theory, more personal experiences:

u/SuperSalsa · 5 pointsr/ftm

> passing

One re-phrasing of this that I really liked(from a chapter of this book that also discusses why 'passing' isn't a great term, for the curious) was whether someone is read as their gender.

It moves the onus of responsibility from the transperson being the one who has to pass to other people being the ones who should read them correctly. It also removes the gross undertones that transpeople are somehow in disguise and 'passing' is just their disguise working.

Of course in a perfect world we wouldn't need termonology around it at all, but this isn't that world (yet) and people need some way to talk about their experiences.

u/sayoneko · 12 pointsr/asktransgender

According to at least one book I've read, transgender people were recognized in a number of civilizations that would predate the Greeks by a few thousand years. They tended to be widely recognized and respected among communal, matriarchal and hunter-gather type societies. It was the emergence of patriarchy that forced the division of people into male/female binary categories for reasons of power, inheritance and such in patriarchal cultures, and that's when the repression of trans began. Hermaphroditus came to the game very late...

u/bearily · 4 pointsr/ftm

Here's my list so far. It's a mix of FTM-specific, general trans, and gender studies books, including essays, memoir, and more academic works. In no particular order:

Gender Trouble by Judith Butler


Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman


Nina Here Nor There by Nick Krieger

Female Masculinity by Judith Halberstam

Nobody Passes - Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore


Whipping Girl by Julia Serano


How Sex Changed: A History of Transexuality in the United States by Joanne Meyerowitz

Becoming a Visible Man by Jamison Green

Queer Theory, Gender Theory: An Instant Primer by Riki Wilchins

PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality edited by Carol Queen

Genderqueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary edited by Joan Nestle

From the Inside Out: Radical Gender Transformation, FTM and Beyond edited by Morty Diamond

Second Son by Ryan Sallans

Why are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

and the must-read fiction:

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

I'll edit this if I can find any others, I'm probably missing a couple. Been a big non-fiction reading year for me!

EDIT: Edited to add links, and a few more on my wish list I haven't picked up yet.

Letters for my Brothers: Transitional Wisdom in Retrospect edited By Megan M. Rohrer, M.Div. & Zander Keig, M.SW.

That's Revolting!: Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Transgender Voices: Beyond Women and Men by Lori B. Girshick

Just Add Hormones: An Insider's Guide to the Transsexual Experience by Matt Kailey

The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male by Max Wolf Valerio

u/The_Best_01 · 1 pointr/MensRights

>Interesting point of view. I would say not having the right to vote and being considered “property” is oppression, but I can see why you would think otherwise.

Then men have just as much right to complain too, since most men in the west couldn't vote until the mid-19th century at the earliest, especially in the UK, where we couldn't vote until 1918, just a decade before most women could. Also, women might have been considered property but least society doesn't still treat you like a disposable utility. There was never much equality in the world, until recently. In fact, there still isn't.

>I don’t agree “protection” is the correct description.

It was in those days.

>It seems you don’t have a full understanding of why the feminist movement began in the 19th century, because there genuinely were unequal rights and women were seen as lesser than a man

When did I say they didn't have less rights? All I said was the movement was not entirely pure from the start. True equality was never their final goal.

>legally women are equals, which is what the movement achieved

And much more than that, of course.

>I would be happy to delve deeper into your perspective of the topic if you are willing to share links or names of texts.

This and this are good places to start. I also encourage you to read this to learn more about how women have more or less manipulated society to their liking and how men (especially those in power) will often betray their own gender to bow to the demands of women. I think you'll find these books very interesting and eye-opening.

>Also, I’m not sure what you mean by “today’s morals” because morals are timeless. There are different philosophies, so of course you may disagree.

What is considered "right and wrong" throughout history changes is what I'm saying. You can't apply our standards to the past. I'm sure people in the future will look back in horror at things we don't even consider to be bad today.

u/greenishdragonfly · 4 pointsr/GenderCritical

I've heard of this book but never read it, so maybe I'm misunderstanding it, but I was quite surprised and disappointed to see this book by the same author in the Vancouver Women's Library catalogue.

https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Warriors-Making-History-Dennis/dp/0807079413/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1486467745&sr=8-1&keywords=Transgender+Warriors%3A+Making+History+from+Joan+of+Arc+to+Dennis

Joan of Arc?

u/JeremiahGuy · 1 pointr/FeMRA

Fyi I updated the previous post so you may wish to check it for updates.

In smaller societies, men are treated pretty fairly, at least as fairly as nature allows. More fairly than today, certainly. Men are more disposable than women, of course, but that's necessary. Strong, smart men lead, and other men may choose to follow. Liberty exists. It ain't perfect, but at least a man can determine his own path, at least he can choose to have a family and raise his children as he sees fits. At least he doesn't have to worry that his wife will leave him and take the kids, or that his kids will believe him a fool because they are indoctrinated by the educational system and the media, he won't have to worry nearly as much about a false rape accusation, or that his kids will be taken away by the government because CPS is corrupt, or that his money will be stolen by the government to be granted to the leeches of the world. When an injustice is committed against him, at least he has the opportunity to fight back with violence and perhaps see justice. At least the things he does have meaning. At least things are simpler, and he can see his enemies when they approach; they aren't hidden in government bureaucracy he is powerless to pierce.

For men, real men, that world is far more appealing than the modern world, where feminine sensibilities that cater to women and manginas rule, where apparent safety and comfort are what matters and life has little meaning, where the population is drugged to make them compliant and anti-depressants and Ritalin are used to keep the populace numb.

Which would you rather have, typhon?

I choose The Way of Men.

u/Docbear64 · 1 pointr/MGTOW

As for Women who support or at least understand MGTOW I'd assume the two would be

Esther Vilar of The Manipulated man : https://www.amazon.com/Manipulated-Man-Esther-Vilar/dp/1905177178


and Dr. Helen Smith Of Men on Strike : https://www.amazon.com/Men-Strike-Boycotting-Marriage-Fatherhood/dp/1594037620


It's going to be harder to find sources that rationally argue against MGTOW because the typical arguments against MGTOW tend to attack mens sexuality , sexual abilities( incel / virgin ) , or tend to call men who do not subscribe to traditional male gender roles cowards and similar emasculating claims to evoke an emotional response .

The most common arguments against MGTOW are probably going to be listed as arguments in support of men marrying .

u/feminista_throwaway · 8 pointsr/againstmensrights

Not to what I would consider a good academic standard. I mean, yes, he references where he gets his stats from, and dictionary definitions and a few other things.

But there's stuff he doesn't reference that he should. For example, in the above bit about powerlessness and crime, Farrell references nothing. And yet, there is (and was in 1994) a huge amount of crime research - you can even reference notions of power.

Farrell could have easily turned to the Groth Typology - written in 1979 - for rapists - which actually has categories for those who use rape as a means for power. It wouldn't have been hard for him to read about that, expand it, and then discuss it in more depth. Of course, then he would have to allow for the fact that not all rapists seek power through rape, and that this is not because men are powerless as a whole, but rather that it's about asserting masculinity.

Farrell chose not to do this. So we can assume that he either didn't read the work of other people far more qualified than he is, and therefore that he just liked the idea because it fit with his bias; or that he deliberately disregarded this research because it didn't paint men as victims of nebulous people who give commands.

Either way, he devotes a whole two fucking sentences to something that has had hundreds upon hundreds of papers done on it, and doesn't bother to elaborate or prove that it is a fact.

Not only that, but Farrell doesn't devote much time to proving anything - his book is a series of statements about what is really going on, without much proof at all to back it up. Most feminist books for example, have a far sharper focus with about as many references.

A recent one I read - Pornland by Gail Dines (fear not, I disagreed with her and her stance, but I had to read it for the same reasons I read Farrell) focused solely on sex and porn and women's role in pornography. Where Farrell would give about a page's worth to a subject, Dines made sure she gave a chapter, with lots of references. She didn't try to cram her notion of feminism into the pages - and even though I disagreed with her bias and her conclusion, I couldn't really disrespect the way she wrote it. It was in a university library because of the difference in the way it was treated.

Farrell's central point is that male power is a myth - and yet he devotes 350 pages to that - which is fucking pitiful - because he threw in every single man, so many men's issues and the kitchen sink. Considering that just describing masculinity as a concept took 300 pages or so for R.W. Connell. Here's her book - go and look at the references she uses and how much she references. Which is of course, also in university libraries.

Yet, Farrell deals with concepts with at most a page - for some a sentence or two - and at worst, a foregone conclusion. So rather than reasoning out his thesis that rape, murder, domestic violence are features of powerlessness - by, you know, going and talking to men who have done such things, then using research that fits with that view, he just declares it so, and shows none of the workings to get to that conclusion. That sentence alone should have warranted a chapter of its own, with lots of interviews with men, lots of statistics, lots of research - pointing out that the profiles of men who do such things includes features of men's powerlessness like poverty and lack of education. But instead, he just doesn't bother, gives a two-line throwaway and onto bigger ideas.

I always think about it like maths. You have to show your workings - same with research. Farrell is fucking sloppy - he shows none of his workings. He just gives you the answer, and you can't really see if it's right or not. It just is, as far as he's concerned. So he doesn't have enough references to show his workings.

u/Tangurena · 2 pointsr/relationships

There are a couple of books that I think your library may have (or be able to get through interlibrary loan).

Nobody Passes,
Delusions of Gender,
She's Not the Man I Married.

The last book is the sequel to an earlier one, and is probably one that would speak most to what you seem to be asking in this post.

When I'm having a discussion about gender, one of the visual analogies I like to do is this (motions in italics, spoken is not italics):

(take a piece of paper, like 8½ x 11 or A1)
All humans have emotions and feelings and desires and hope and longings.
start tearing the paper into smaller squares
These pieces represent the feelings, hopes, desires and emotions we all have.
there should be one pile now
Each society and culture decides which of these human things is masculine and which is feminine
split the pile into 2 piles
One pile is for humans with penises, the other for humans with vaginas.
take 1-2 pieces from each pile and put them into the other
As long as one mostly conforms to society's idea of what belongs in each pile, a little difference is acceptable.
take a lot more than 1-2, but less than half from each pile and pop it into the other pile
But when too much of you is different from what society expects, you get called sissy, fag, dyke, queer, tomboy and other bad & cruel things. Bad enough that some people will attack and beat you for being different. Long before children know what sex is, they're beating each other for being too different while denouncing the victim as a fag or lezzie. And even as adults, the violence gets called things like "hate crime" and "gay bashing" and sometimes results in death.
now take almost all of it, more than half of each pile and toss them into the other pile
And sometimes, you get so far from what society expects that you get like this. Where you are convinced that you're in the wrong body. That's usually called "gender dysphoria*.

From there, there is usually a discussion with questions and answers, and it is OK for the answers to be "I don't know" or "I don't know yet".

I don't know if your SO was victimized in school, but that can make some folks think that they're really more of the wrong sex than they really are (as in they're really "just a sissy" and not "a woman trapped in a man's body"). This is grossly over-simplified, but I think it gives an idea of what a real therapist would be needed to identify. And please don't think I'm disparaging sissies, transgendered people or anyone in between.

It is normal for you to not be attracted if your SO transitions - because attraction and sexual identity is very important; and people rarely look into where it comes from and why. It isn't reasonable to say "well, it is still the same person inside" because it is extremely common to lose attraction (and become disgusted) when your partner gains large amounts of weight. It is still the same person inside, but the package is not what we're looking for. I'm sorry. You're sorry. We're all sorry.

u/mwobuddy2 · 7 pointsr/unpopularopinion

u/Pleasedontstrawmanme u/Umbly u/maluno22

In context, its about a minority of women who claim the large F (feminism) who scream and bray about 'objectification' which was an invented idea by large F, as a means of shaming and dominating sexual discussion and behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVYiJV_1IwM


Consider the fact that women attack others through Reputation Destruction rather than punches to the face. Consider also that big F has always described and reduced sexual activity down to Power Games, Power Dynamic, etc.

Within the context of PD and PG, the term objectification makes sense. They have literally been pounding away at these memes since the 1960's, to shift the narrative from "people are selfish and sometimes want to just have sex with someone for pleasure" to "men, specifically, objectify women by desiring them sexually without knowing anything about their family life or their accomplishments, or lack thereof".

To put it another way, does a lion or chimp objectify potential partners because its horny and just wants to screw the other? if humans are an extension of basic animal behavior, then objectification has to be something all species do. But you can see the problem with this because objectification is defined by large F as willful and intentional degradation of others, and I don't think any animals, even humans, are doing that simply because they find something attractive.

If there's one thing you notice among large F people who discuss objectification, they typically fall WELL outside social norms of beauty. The suffragette panels of the early 1900's looked like a leper colony.

https://www.amazon.com/Manipulated-Man-Esther-Vilar/dp/1905177178

Consider the fact that today merely questioning the honesty and integrity of large F or people who cry about objectification gets you attacked and shamed nearly universally in the western world. Consider also the fact that narcissism, sociopathy, and psychopathy exist in women just as much as it does in men, and the fact that such people are NOT 100% raving lunatics, but often careful and meticulous in playing with others and looking for power and dominance over others. Consider that every group or movement can be co-opted by people with truly evil intentions and no actual connection to humanity.

Consider that all of this "women are wonderful" business has provided the PERFECT cover for female narcissists, sociopaths, etc, to abuse, shame, humiliate men in general or specific for any man transgressing against women by "objectification" while not being sexually valuable.

What's that joke? How to avoid sexual harassment. Step 1: Be attractive. Step 2: Don't be unattractive.

Women seem perfectly fine being "objectified" if the guy has some sort of value or attractiveness. I've met more than one woman who complained about their ex being "objectifying" or "sexist" AFTER breaking up from 3 years. And more than once this has involved really decent guys who actively tried to keep the relationship together.

In particular, there was one woman who claimed her ex tried to rape her, which is completely ridiculous because she was always a slut and was once fucking 3 different guys before she got with her boyfriend, he is not a rapist and he's now happily married to a non-psycho, and she consistently gets drunk and tries to have sex with the nearest pole. There's no need for him to try to rape her. And when she talked about it, there weren't any details, it was just vague suggestion. This same person also showed me texts of another guy talking about his dick to her, and she was pretending to be upset about it, but it was really a demonstration of sexual value because she had been fucking this guy previously and was using him as a form of narcissistic supply, for sex and attention, when she was lonely, and then shit talking him when she wasn't. She's been PUA spinning him as a plate for 2 years.

What this comes down to is Reputation Destruction as Revenge because of ill will and bad feelings, or laying the groundwork for sympathy, etc.

Maybe not all men have experienced the worst that there is in women, and they can count themselves lucky. Maybe they HAVE experienced the worst, but have been unable to understand it or reason it out because they've consistently been fed the narrative that men are predators and women are victims of men, and that "women are wonderful", so they can't conceive that women could be highly manipulative and that especially women who want to dominate would claim positions of authority, like large F, to manipulate men on a grand scale.

Just look at how women are benefiting from the double standard, able to behave that way while men basically cant. Look to who benefits and who is controlled, and you should see that its all a game of power.