Reddit mentions: The best lgbt demographic studies

When I initially came out, I was religious (Lutheran), and I actually came out with the help of my campus pastor in our Lutheran Student Community. I continued active participation in my religious community, and most of my pastors after that time were aware of my identity, so don't ever feel as if there's no place for you in religious communities. In the US, at least, mainline protestant denominations (Lutheran, Anglican/Episocopal, Presbyterian, UCC) often tend to be much more accepting than so-called "nondenominational" or Evangelical churches, but there aren't hard and fast guarantees.

(Just as full disclosure, I'm no longer religious, but it has nothing to do with my coming out, and much more to do with other philosophical changes and ideas.)

There has been a lot of good advice in this thread, so I really don't feel the need to repeat it. I do, however, want to share few resources that might be helpful:

• Virtually Normal: An Argument about Homosexuality - This book by Andrew Sullivan is probably my favorite work about homosexuality and being gay. If you have a chance to read nothing else, this would be my recommendation. It presents four arguments from four different perspectives for and against homosexuality, then addresses what Sullivan feels are their flaws and where they are misapplied. Sullivan then attempts to synthesize his own philosophy of what it is to be gay. It's something that is a bit of a cliche, but this book really did change my life. (Sullivan is a gay Catholic political conservative — the real, intellectual kind, not the reactionary kind — who is married to a man, and while I don't always agree with him, I adore his writing and value his perspective.)
  
  
• What The Bible Really Says About Homosexuality - This is a very good book covering the theological angle, looking at passages in the Bible, and analyzing the various translations and apparent meanings of the handful of passages that ever touch on homosexuality. I read this when I first came out. Eventually, when you come out to your family, this may be a helpful resource for them, as well. (As others have said, until you are financially independent, you should probably not come out to them.)
  
  
• God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships - I've not read this book by Matthew Vines, but I have heard very good things about it. It may be helpful both now and down the line.
  
  In your situation, I understand it may be hard to get these books or read them, but if you can do so privately and safely, I'd highly recommend them as avenues for exploring your identity and giving you a theological and philosophical frame to think about your identity from. I'm not sure if you're worried about disapproval or punishment from divine or human sources when you say, "I'm afraid my own religion will punish me for something that I can't control," but in either case, you may find these helpful.

A friend of mine actually wrote this book about the stages of her transition. She had been married with kids before she came to terms with her true self. The book give many pieces of advice both for those transitioning and for the people close to them. Shauna's transition was a bit more traumatic than most since she is a public school teacher and was outted by the media before she was ready to talk to her family and co-workers about it.

What I've taken from the transgendered people I know (most are MTF) is that community is key. You definitely have us, but you should also try to find a group of people in your vicinity with whom you can meet and talk things over. Counseling helps, too. You're probably very confused, trying to sqeeze yourself into the "normal" box and finding it hard to fit. Counselors can help you to put your experiences and feelings in perspective, and they can help you set reasonable goals and timetables for the journey you may choose to go on.

I think, more than anything, you just need someone to talk through all the details with. I would recommend either a professional or a really close friend whom you know will love you no matter what. Redditors are great, but we're not what you need right now. Good luck, sweetheart! Keep us posted.

I have started and erased this comment three times now.
Basically, I don't remember how or when I first realized trans men existed. There was someone on my freshman year of high school bus who was female assigned but male identified--he used to just tell people he was actually a boy and that was that. For some reason while I clearly remember that (lo these cough 20 years later), I only vaguely had a sense that kid had anything to do with me. I'm generally pretty avoidant, so I walled off that part for as long as I possibly could.

I remember meeting some trans kids at the Chicago pride parade in like 1997--but again, while some part of my brain understood superficially that they were some variety of trans, I wouldn't let myself process it at all. I think I posted on some planetout / AOL trans threads, but not from supportive or self-identifying place at all, but more of a "trans critical" place.
My freshman year of college I finally had semi-privacy and a fast internet connection in my own dorm room...but I don't remember using it to research trans issues at all. I was involved in ...Indigo Girls and Ani DiFranco fan sites / list servs, and there were totally some trans folks on those, but I explained them away to myself as experimenting kids. HOW FUCKING IN DENIAL CAN YOU BE?????

That was the year Matthew Shepard was murdered, and I was on a small midwestern campus and was a super visible queer, and I remember we had a candlelight vigil and a guy in a pickup truck screamed at us, and for me being "gay" was more important socially that those weird gender rumblings that were going on. Strangely enough I briefly dated someone there who also went on to transition ftm, and we never even talked about what a few years later would take over our lives. lol.

At some point that same school year, I was back with my soft butch high school girlfriend (I was a big fan of butch-butch pairings), and we were in a Borders Bookstore in suburban Milwaukee and holding hands or whatever, and these two middle aged gay guys walked up to us and told us we were adorable and handed us a book they said would be "perfect" for us--it was called Dagger: On Butch Women (http://www.amazon.com/Dagger-Butch-Roxxie-Linnga-Due/dp/0939416824) and it was like a dollar or something because it was already a kind of old book (1994...and this would have been 1999) BUT AND HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART:

THERE WERE A WHOLE TWO CHAPTERS OR SO ABOUT TRANS MEN (were those gay guys my guardian angels???)

granted, why were trans men in a book about "butch women"--well, we could debate that, but it was definitely more of a 90s thing, and I can't explain it at all.

And that book had Michael Hernandez in it, and even then he was a big bad bald bearded dude, and I hadn't even realized you could take, like, testosterone and stuff. So that book was very valuable, though it also hindered a bit because it was already out of date and talked about things like mail-order pants stuffers made out of industrial foam that some dude in California would carve into a wang for you (I'm not even kidding) or Morris Designs surgical vests as binders. It was a far, far different world when we had to like send a check to a weird address we found in a book and hope they sent us the thing.

alright, this is already too long and too personal.

Hey, I did that whole thing a couple years ago at 32. Enjoy the exhilarating terror! It was all-consuming for me for a while, and I still get euphoria bumps of "holy shit I fucking love women" but I think that might just be what it feels like to actually be interested in people?? Who knew!

>Is there a handbook or something I could follow? /s

You joke, but Late Bloomers was recommended to me in a few places. I had a mixed reaction to it; I was hoping it'd have more stories (or any at all) from women (like me) who had just been in pure denial. If it matches your experience more closely, you may get a lot more out of it than I did. That said, it was good to read to help normalize what I was feeling. There are other, similar books on the 'Customers Also Bought' section, but this is the only one I personally read.

Aside from that, I immersed myself in other gay-lady media: movies, TV, blogs, articles, tumblrs, whatever. I dabbled around a bit on personals sites, and enjoyed how normal/good chatting ladies up felt even if the meetings were meh. You've also got the added hook of having kids -- I don't know of any to refer, but I'd have to think there are lesbian parenting forums out there full of women with your experience.

Good luck, have fun, relish the feeling.

I haven't read any really academic type stuff, but I have read some pretty great books of a radically queer nature.

I just finished reading From Transgender to Transhuman: A Manifesto on the Freedom of Form and would highly recommend it. However, definitely go for the hard copy rather than the kindle version, as the etext is marred with formatting issues. In this expanded second edition of The Apartheid of Sex, she advocates an end to the legal separation of people based on genitals as well as even cooler things in the future as technology further erodes the reason for divisions between people based on genitals, or even social roles or meat/non-meat status. Her experience as a lawyer really shows in her ability to make concise, effective arguments for her points.

I would also suggest Whipping Girl by Julia Serano. I don't know if it's really that radical, but her understanding and explanation of sexism and it's impact on all people is pretty damn awesome in my opinion.

Also, for a more pot pourri style smattering of essays and such, I'd recommend GENDERqUEER, voices from beyond the sexual binary and Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation.

The debate has been going of for a long time in queer theory. You might be interested in researching essentialist/constructivist conceptions of sexuality. In the west, many of us are essentialist, insomuch as we believe there is such thing as a gay person. There is an essence to being gay, and you either are gay or you're not. The idea in modern times was first proposed by Karl Heinrich Ulrich, who was himself gay in the late 1800s. He referred to gay people as "urnings" which he describes as men with female spirits. He had a different word for lesbian. Later, Karl Maria Kertbenny, took the idea and came up with the word homosexual and from there, the academic Magnus Hirschfeld (also gay) gave the idea some academic legs.

Before that, there was no such concept as a "homosexual." There were men and there were women. And sometimes men slept with men and sometimes women slept with women, but those men would often go on to marry women or not and there was just much more fluidity. That's not to say that homosexuality was accepted back then, its just that the concept of same sex love being an immutable definitive trait wasn't a thing.

The politicization of sexuality made this worse. We adopted a narrative that we were "born this way." because it was easier to sell equal rights to the masses if we could tell them we couldn't control it.

Constructivists on the other hand, believe that sexuality is a social construct and that there is no such thing as a "gay person." There is just a person and they like what they like. And just like people's preferences for things, sometimes they change. And sometimes they don't. The reason that men are more rigidly gay or straight is a product of socialization. Notice that there is much more fluidity in female sexuality than male.

I remember when I was deciding to come out as gay, I recognized (and still do) that I am somewhat attracted to women. But that socially, it's much less likely I will find a wife if I date and fuck men, because women like your friend will always think that I'm secretly gay. I'm not secretly anything. If I like you, I like you! Similarly, in the gay community a lot of guys are put off by bi guys because they're really "straight" or they're "closet cases." Men are socialized to pick gay or straight and stick to it. Women, not so much. My lesbian roommate is avowedly lesbian and she fucks guys from time to time. She refuses to call herself bi. So be it.

So, yes... sometimes people can discover they're gay later in life.

I suggest

History of Sexuality by Michel Foucault

Queer by Choice by Vera Whisman

One Hundred Years of Homosexuality by David Halperin

So far, it sounds like you're doing it RIGHT. It's important that you don't push her to do anything she's not comfortable with- where coming out is concerned, more is not necessarily better. She may need years of careful acclimation before she accepts the fact that she's queer, and reaches a point where she's okay with it. In the meantime, it may be true that even the thought of being inches away from another queer woman will drive her wild with confusing want and gut-churning terror.

I would recommend that you offer her resources to fuel her own, independent research, like the chat rooms she's already joining. Maybe some magazines she can read when the kids are asleep, or books of adorable coming-out stories. Make it clear that you support her exploring, or not exploring, these parts of herself. You're already doing a good job of not imposing your own agenda, so I say keep it up. (heh.)

When I realized I was queer, I burned two whole months of my life in the "HQ" section of my uni library, reading all the les/bi/an books I could find. I recommend the following to you and/or your lady. Also, my fedora's off to you, as you're clearly one upstanding fellow.

Coming-out stories to warm even the most closeted of hearts

Bisexuals narrate their lives

Studies show women's sexuality is more fluid, anyway

Hell yeah bisexual erotica

More where that came from

This is called shunning. Your parents are shunning you because of their own homophobia. By not acknowledging that you are gay, they don't have to confront their own homophobia.
There is a shame that you are feeling and that is because shunning is a manner in which your parents are choosing to say your sexuality does not matter, and does not exist and should not exist because it is wrong.
Yes, it will take time for them to deal with THEIR OWN issues around you being gay, but what needs to happen is you have to take back the power by talking about gay stuff, like your boyfriend, love of musicals, whatever, and not be afraid. If they disengage, call them out on it.
The coming out process is long and painful for us especially when we have homophobic parents. Triumphs are found in those little moments when you tell them about how much fun you had at the gay bar, or that you are going on a date with a guy you really like.
Here's a good book that helped me a lot to understand familial homophobia Ties That Bind.

I honestly do a agree with a lot of this even if you don't feel like you can agree with me!

This is why I said a wholesale rethinking of desire, eros and relationships is needed within Christianity. Simply grafting same-sex couples into the heterosexual mould excludes many queer lifestyles -- and, like you said, effectively neuters us in public life. A helpful look at this would be in something like The Trouble With Normal.

A liberative queer Christian praxis could therefore look like (in some theologies) indecent sexual practices and their public acknowledgement.

Unfortunately, even today, it very much depends upon the school, so my advice for her would be to wait and feel out what this school is like. I also don't know what the laws are around sexual orientation and employment in England (especially if the employer is a religious organization), but recommend that she check them out.

If she determines that her job wouldn't be at risk if she were out at school, it's still totally her decision. One factor to put on the side of coming out is that there are pretty much guaranteed to be LGBTQ students at her school, and many of them probably feel very alone. An openly lesbian teacher could be a role model that gives them hope for their futures, and she might be someone they could turn to for support and advice. By being out, she could also help kids who aren't gay gain an understanding that gay/lesbian people are still people.

Even if she doesn't come out, I encourage her (and all teachers, gay or straight) to explicitly require tolerance in their classrooms, mention important LGBT historical figures, crack down on "gay" as an insult, etc.

*Stealth edit: Oh, I recommend One Teacher in Ten, a 1994 collection of essays from LGBT teachers, or the 2005 second edition of new essays. They are incredibly moving.

If you want to know where all the negative stuff comes from: The Ties That Bind

Acceptance and inclusion are what stops the negative stuff.

It’s not weird to be gay, so why would it be weird to be accepting? Being gay is normal and common. It’s just not the majority.

If he has found someone to date at 14 then more power to him. You get to be there to support him. Being sex positive is a wonderful thing.

The only way to change the shitty world is to live in it. He will come across shitty people in life regardless of the gay. Dealing with it now will make life easier in the long run. The world will be a better place by being out. The world is a nicer place when you’re out.

Gay people need to be exposed to one another in order to have self acceptance. The South needs to be exposed to gay people to accept and love them.

I usually recommend these books on this subject because it lets you read about other women's experiences:
Dear John, I love Jane.
Living Two Lives.
Married Women Who Love Women.
Late Bloomers.

You aren't the first woman to go through this. You aren't the last woman to go through this.

There should be an LGBT center in your nearby city. Maybe they've got information on a shelter you can use when you need to leave. Most of them have group sessions, and I'd strongly recommend you attend the lesbian one. It can be pretty eye opening to hear and see other women who have gone through this and survived: what went right, what went not-right and what they'd do differently if they had it to do all over again.

/r/lgbtHavens may have a place you can crash at when you need to leave.

I see your point, but do you think that a bunch of queer kids sitting at a restaurant will even get on the news? The civil disobedience you're referring to in previous posts worked because the people doing it weren't supposed to be there - just existing in those spaces was enough to cause a commotion. Fortunately, we're not banned from CFA, so just sitting there won't be as shocking and thought provoking as it was in the 1960s.

Some LGBT people see themselves as virtually normal and want only to be assimilated fully into heterosexual society. Others of us, myself included, are uninterested in appearing "respectable" to the people that oppress us and would rather have our queerness acknowledged openly. I'm not going to tell you how you should live out your sexuality, but please try to see where we're coming from and why we don't think hiding our sexuality is a winning strategy for real progress.

It sounds a bit more like this question is being phrased in an evo-psych way rather than an anthropological way, really. Since others have address this issue more than adequately, brigantus in particular, I won't say anything else about it.

But since you're curious about the intersection of anthropology and neuroscience, you might be interested in the sub-field of neuroanthropology. Greg Downey and Daniel Lende have an aptly titled blog, neuroanthropology, over at PLOS, as well as a book on the subject. As far as I know they don't really address homophobia specifically, though I haven't had the chance to read it.

Anyway, if it isn't too off topic, it may help to briefly talk about how anthropologists have actually tried to talk about homophobia. What does an (socio)anthropological approach to homophobia actually look like?

A good book on the subject is David Murray's edited volume Homophobias. It raises the issues that come up with actually treating homophobia as an ethnographic and anthropological subject (how do we define it? how do we study it?), as well as providing a variety of ethnographic examples. There's some meaningful difference, I think, between the kind of homophobia that Sullivan-Blum talks about in her chapter on evanglical Christian opposition to gay marriage - where gay marriage isn't so much defined as disgusting but more of an epistemic threat - and the development of a violent/potentially violent homophobic politics in Indonesia and Jamaica, as detailed by Tom Boellstorff and Suzanne LaFont respectively.

I'd also recommend looking at Gayle Rubin's work; specifically "The Traffic in Women: Notes on the 'Political Economy' of Sex". In "The Traffic in Women" she lays out an argument for the social origins of obligatory heterosexuality (and therefore, homophobia) by combining Levi-Strauss, Freud, and Marx.

In contrast to a bio-evolutionary account of heterosexuality/homophobia, she points out that "if biological and hormonal imperatives were as overwhelming as popular mythology would have them, it would hardly be necessary to insure heterosexual unions by means of economic interdependency."

Instead, as firedrops also points out, we can better understand gender identity and sexual desire (and arguably also sexual disgust) by understanding them as socially constructed; as social adaptations to the political-economic problem of how society should be organized/reproduced, rather than purely neurological artifacts of our evolutionary history.

Rubin writes that:

"The division of labor by sex can therefore be seen as a "taboo"; a taboo against the sameness of men and women, a taboo dividing the sexes into two mutually exclusive categories, a taboo that exacerbates the biological difference between the sexes and thereby creates gender. The division of labor can also be seen as a taboo against sexual arrangements other than those containing at least one man and one woman, thereby enjoining heterosexual marriage."

and

"Far from being an expression of natural differences, exclusive gender identity is the suppression of natural similarities. It requires repression; in men, of whatever is the local version of "feminine" traits; in women, whatever is the local version of "masculine" traits."

In 'traditional' (yes, not the best term) societies, opposition to female homosexuality (where such opposition exists) can be best understood by pointing to Levi-Strauss' notion that marriage is the exchange of women by men. 'Homophobia'/obligatory heterosexuality as opposition to lesbianism, then, would be due to the fact that "if a single refusal were disruptive, a double refusal would be insurrectionary." Obligatory heterosexuality, expressed as homophobia against male homosexuality, could be understood as part of that repression of femininity in men - an argument that R.W. Connell takes up in her book, Masculinities.

Anyway, hopefully that was somewhat readable and didn't meander too much.

As an observation: I find it interesting how the lingustics have changed even over the past decade. When I started transissioning about 10 years ago I listened the "Talking Tranny" podcast, a friend of mine went by "Lannie the Tranny" (She also wrote a very good book about changing gender), and so on. But now the word "Tranny" needs trigger warnings, is considered derogatory, and trasphobic. I don't know if I concider this progression or regression...Just different than the past.

Oh well, cheers all.

John Lauritsen's "A Free Thinker's Primer of Male Love" narrates insightful histories, and examines male love's cosmological relevance. Lauritsen, in so few pages, conveys the nuances of male eroticism, and persuades his reader to consider what it actually means to be a man who loves men. Lauritsen is appreciative of this type of eroticism--sometimes even entranced--but he reels in any indulgence one might expect.

Letters For My Brothers - Zander Keig

Testo Junkie - Paul Preciado

Becoming a Visible Man - Jamison Green

From the Inside Out - Morty Diamond

Self Made Men - Henry Rubin !! author is a cis man !!


Also! If you want to read more about trans stuff along with some other people from this sub, feel free to check out our monthly reading group :)

Here's a link to our February thread

The definitions we have used refer to two genders because those are the two common ones and it would be confusing to list every non-binary gender. Nonetheless, that doesn't change the fact that non-binary genders exist and have existed for millennia.

We have Egyptian pottery dating to 2000BCE that lists 3 genders. Native American tribes often recognized 3rd gender roles in pre-colonial times. Jesuit missionaries recorded the existence of 3rd genders in aboriginal tribes as early as 1711. There was a class of people in ancient Assyria who were recognized as transgender (see page 465). The Hijra people of India, who are currently both politically and legally recognized as a 3rd gender, date back at least as far as the Kama Sutra. In ancient Rome and Greece, worshipers of Cybele castrated themselves and then presented themselves as transwomen. In Mexico, the Zapotec's had a 3rd gender referred to as the muxe who were born male but identified as female. In the Balkans, the sworn virgin tradition of females taking on male gender roles dates back to the 15th century. I could go on and on for pages. Other examples of non-binary gender recognition in pre-Industrial times can be found in Thailand, Japan, China, Iran, Israel, Germany, Great Britain, Denmark, etc. It's a indisputable historical worldwide phenomenon.

Get a job, save money, and make plans to be self sufficient, and get as far away from them as possible when you graduate from highschool and/or turn 18.

I also highly recommend Sarah Schulman's book [Ties That Bind: Familial Homophobia and It's Consequences]
(https://www.amazon.com/Ties-That-Bind-Homophobia-Consequences/dp/1595588167).

Know that you are one of thousands upon thousands of people who have been this, and that you are not alone.

I hope you don't mind me simply copy pasting my previous answer.

It's a cultural theory which, for many people (myself not included) , is closely tied to the concepts of post-scructuralism. I guess the Wikipedia article would be a good start? I personally got into the topic through Nikki Sullivan's book.

They started the drag shows in 1958 at the Jewel box. Then moved to the Main St. Location in 1972.

KC Star Article from the 80s talking about the history

Yeah KC had a pretty extensive LGBT history back in the day.

Book on KC LGBT History

GLAMA archives at UMKC

You might want to check out this book - it has some good tips for escaping from toxic relationships: https://www.amazon.com/Lesbian-Guide-Getting-Crazy-Making-Relationships-ebook/dp/B019XC9FME/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1571569350&sr=8-1

"Corporations like to pretend profiting off a product isn't an endorsement. But that's a convenient lie designed to duck any responsibility."

Welp, looks like Barnes and Noble endorses Nazism, then.

While we're at it, Amazon wholeheartedly endorses homophobia.

K-Mart? Huge proponents of kidnapping and forced medical experimentation.

And Wal-Mart absolutely adores drunk driving, sexual assault, homophobia, murder, misogyny, arson, illicit drug use, manslaughter, and stalking.

There you go, you're welcome!

The most recent publishing I would begin with is The Tolerance Trap or Queer by Choice.

In summary, they represent changes made in Queer studies of the past five years which criticize how the current LGBT movement have become severely misguided outside the original challenges of gender and sexuality offered by LGBT academics during 1950-80s, which were not motivated by genetic determinism [born-this-way argument].

Essentially the LGBT political movement in the early 1900's rested on this notion that sexuality is biological truth, despite scientists never fully advocating this and evidence that early environmental factors still play a role; this notion became internalized and unchallenged leading to sexuality developing into a comprehensive biological identity similar to being a women or african-american. The issue still remains that no conclusive evidence has proven that sexuality is anything more than genetically predisposed (with environmental factors also having influence). A double-edged sword comes along with that since many undesirable things, such as schizophrenia and alcoholism, also have genetic predispositions.

These newer books, as well as contemporary Queer theorists in their line, want to challenge the moral claims of sexuality and develop out Queer morality that have nothing to do with biological aspects. In effect sexuality could be a personal choice rather than a genetic punishment. Some queer theorists I have talked with are critical towards the LGBT categorization system, which require and reinforce the uneven foundations of genetic determinism for authentic meaning. Personally, I believe the system hyperinflated nonsense; sexual preferences should not constitute personal identity in that degree.

Some earlier works I would recommend is "Compulsory Heterosexuality" by Adrienne Rich or The History of Sexuality by Foucault. But I would add that Foucault's historical record [which has some problems] is not as important as his critique; One Hundred Years of Homosexuality by Halperin is seen as the better alternative to defend Foucault's views. These theories, however, are within the postmodern era and carry significant problems that are associated throughout the tradition.

I highly recommend Sex and Social Justice by Martha Nussbaum, which argues that so far our history has supervised sexuality rather than proven anything resembling moral truth.

Here's a good one that offers a variety of perspectives on the issue.

http://www.amazon.com/GenderQueer-Voices-Beyond-Sexual-Binary/dp/1555837301

good starting points can be found

http://www.amazon.com/Queer-Theory-Gender-Instant-Primer/dp/1555837980/ref=pd_sim_b4

and

http://www.amazon.com/GenderQueer-Voices-Beyond-Sexual-Binary/dp/1555837301/ref=pd_sim_b5

although of course the real issues are far more diverse than two starter level books can convey.

Michael Warner, gender theorist, against gay marriage for sexual liberation reasons, calls it “Trouble with Normal”
http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674004412

The original “conservative” case for gay marriage on gay marriages being “virtually normal”
http://www.amazon.com/Virtually-Normal-Andrew-Sullivan/dp/0679746145/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345952112&sr=1-1&keywords=virtually+normal+sullivan

There's always an in-between option, or a both option. You may wish to check out the book Dagger: On Butch Women which, in spite of its name, covers a good range of butch afab gender identity.

This is a book we used in one of my sociology of gender classes.

Here's my list so far. It's a mix of FTM-specific, general trans, and gender studies books, including essays, memoir, and more academic works. In no particular order:

Gender Trouble by Judith Butler


Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman


Nina Here Nor There by Nick Krieger

Female Masculinity by Judith Halberstam

Nobody Passes - Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore


Whipping Girl by Julia Serano


How Sex Changed: A History of Transexuality in the United States by Joanne Meyerowitz

Becoming a Visible Man by Jamison Green

Queer Theory, Gender Theory: An Instant Primer by Riki Wilchins

PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality edited by Carol Queen

Genderqueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary edited by Joan Nestle

From the Inside Out: Radical Gender Transformation, FTM and Beyond edited by Morty Diamond

Second Son by Ryan Sallans

Why are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

and the must-read fiction:

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

I'll edit this if I can find any others, I'm probably missing a couple. Been a big non-fiction reading year for me!

EDIT: Edited to add links, and a few more on my wish list I haven't picked up yet.

Letters for my Brothers: Transitional Wisdom in Retrospect edited By Megan M. Rohrer, M.Div. & Zander Keig, M.SW.

That's Revolting!: Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Transgender Voices: Beyond Women and Men by Lori B. Girshick

Just Add Hormones: An Insider's Guide to the Transsexual Experience by Matt Kailey

The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male by Max Wolf Valerio

> So why do you feel that if you can't have kids you shouldn't get marriage

What is the purpose of marriage if not to have a couple capable of procreation joined for life?

> Based on your use of the words sanctimony I would guess it's due to religious beliefs, which is fine it's your right to believe whatever you like, but does that give you the right to stop others from getting married?

No. I am but one vote and one opinion. The decision about who should be married and who should not is a government decision that is swayed by a majority vote.

> What negative impacts on society will there be if gay marriage is legalised?

Think back to the 1950s, when illegitimacy and cohabitation were relatively rare. At that time many asked how one young woman having a baby out of wedlock or living with an unmarried man could hurt their neighbours. Now we know the negative social effects these two living arrangements have spawned: lower marriage rates, more instability in the marriages that are enacted, more fatherless children, increased rates of domestic violence, increased modern poverty (that is, those within modern societies living below the poverty line), and a vast expansion of government welfare expenses.

Another effect will be that sexual fidelity will be detached from the commitment of marriage. That's not just my opinion. Andrew Sullivan, who is (according to his website) a Gay Rights Advocate, wrote a book called Virtually Normal and in it he wrote "Among gay male relationships, the openness of the contract makes it more likely to survive than many heterosexual bonds...There is more likely to be a greater understanding of the need for extramarital outlets between two men than between a man and a woman. … Something of the gay relationship's necessary honesty, its flexibility, and its equality could undoubtedly help strengthen and inform many heterosexual bonds.".

I read that to say "Even if we gay men do marry, it won't mean anything, because we always have a desire to look and play outside the martial bounds". But you'll probably say I'm taking that out of context....

So let's go medical. Let's look at how the Society of the Protection for Unborn Children say that Same-sex 'marriage' has negative effects and cites a lot of International research.