Reddit mentions of Art, Identity, and Devotion in Fourteenth Century England: Three Women Patrons and their Books of Hours (British Library Studies in Medieval Culture)

The passages sited in the Cracked article aren't from the Canonical Gospels, i.e. the books included in the Bible today that cover the life of Jesus. But the early Church Fathers had a lot of material to select from, including Gnostic gospels.

Early Church fathers, such as Irenaeus decided to accept the gospels that are now part of the New Testament Canon and reject others, such as
the Gospel of Judas, the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, the Gospel of Thomas, and other Gnostic works as heretical. Christianity would likely be much different today, if they had made different choices.

When the Cracked article references the Gospel of Thomas, it is referring to one of the gospels the early church fathers deemed apocryphal. But you can find information on those Gnostic gospels at The Gnostic Society Library. The Infancy Gospel of Thomas on that website contains the following, which matches #4 on the Cracked list:

> II. 1 This little child Jesus when he was five years old was playing at the ford of a brook: and he gathered together the waters that flowed there into pools, and made them straightway clean, and commanded them by his word alone. 2 And having made soft clay, he fashioned thereof twelve sparrows. And it was the Sabbath when he did these things (or made them). And there were also many other little children playing with him.
>
>3 And a certain Jew when he saw what Jesus did, playing upon the Sabbath day, departed straightway and told his father Joseph: Lo, thy child is at the brook, and he hath taken clay and fashioned twelve little birds, and hath polluted the Sabbath day. 4 And Joseph came to the place and saw: and cried out to him, saying: Wherefore doest thou these things on the Sabbath, which it is not lawful to do? But Jesus clapped his hands together and cried out to the sparrows and said to them: Go! and the sparrows took their flight and went away chirping. 5 And when the Jews saw it they were amazed, and departed and told their chief men that which they had seen Jesus do.
>
>III. 1 But the son of Annas the scribe was standing there with Joseph; and he took a branch of a willow and dispersed the waters which Jesus had gathered together. 2 And when Jesus saw what was done, he was wroth and said unto him: O evil, ungodly, and foolish one, what hurt did the pools and the waters do thee? behold, now also thou shalt be withered like a tree, and shalt not bear leaves, neither root, nor fruit. 3 And straightway that lad withered up wholly, but Jesus departed and went unto Joseph's house. But the parents of him that was withered took him up, bewailing his youth, and brought him to Joseph, and accused him 'for that thou hast such a child which doeth such deeds.'

In regards to #3 on the Cracked list, you can also find the following on that same webpage provided by the Gnostic Society Library for the Infancy Gospel of Thomas:

>IV. 1 After that again he went through the village, and a child ran and dashed against his shoulder. And Jesus was provoked and said unto him: Thou shalt not finish thy course (lit. go all thy way). And immediately he fell down and died. But certain when they saw what was done said: Whence was this young child born, for that every word of his is an accomplished work? And the parents of him that was dead came unto Joseph, and blamed him, saying: Thou that hast such a child canst not dwell with us in the village: or do thou teach him to bless and not to curse: for he slayeth our children.

In regards to #2 on the Cracked list, the Gnostic Society Library webpage has a somewhat different retelling of the story of the bursting serpent on the webpage I referenced for the Infancy Gospel of Thomas:

>XVI. 1 And Joseph sent his son James to bind fuel and carry it into his house. And the young child Jesus also followed him. And as James was gathering of faggots, a viper bit the hand of James. 2 And as he was sore afflicted and ready to perish, Jesus came near and breathed upon the bite, and straightway the pain ceased, and the serpent burst, and forthwith James continued whole.

For the #1 entry on the Cracked list, the corresponding passage from the Infancy Gospel of Thomas on the Gnostic Library site reads as follows:

>V. 1 And Joseph called the young child apart and admonished him, saying: Wherefore doest thou such things, that these suffer and hate us and persecute us? But Jesus said: I know that these thy words are not thine: nevertheless for thy sake I will hold my peace: but they shall bear their punishment. And straightway they that accused him were smitten with blindness. 2 And they that saw it were sore afraid and perplexed, and said concerning him that every word which he spake whether it were good or bad, was a deed, and became a marvel. And when they (he ?) saw that Jesus had so done, Joseph arose and took hold upon his ear and wrung it sore. 3 And the young child was wroth and said unto him: It sufficeth thee (or them) to seek and not to find, and verily thou hast done unwisely: knowest thou not that I am thine? vex me not.

In regards to #5 on the Cracked list, the book Art, Identity, and Devotion in Fourteenth Century England: Three Women Patrons and their Books of Hours by Kathryn Ann Smith
contains the following, which can be found through Google Books:

> The majority of the Apocryphal Infancy miracles
ultimately derive from the accounts of Christ's Infancy
and childhood contained in various early Christian
and early medieval apocryphal gospels. The most accessible
and widely-circulating repository of Infancy miracles
was the Gospel of Psuedo-Matthew, known as the
Liber de Infantia during the Middle Ages, whose
narrative of Christ's childhood depends on a still
earlier source, the fifth-century Infancy Gospel of
Thomas. A small number of the Infancy miracles in
Psuedo-Matthew, such as the Fall of the Idols or the
Miracle of the Palm Tree, appear frequenty in medieval
art. The author of Fasiculus Morum referred to these
and other, more unusual tales from Psuedo-Matthew
and cited the Liber de Infantia itself in a sermon
on the theme of 'Christ's Entrance into this World':

> . . that in the same year that Christ was born Joseph
took him to Egypt, and when he entered that country,
all the idos of Egypt fell down . . . the Book of
the Infancy of Christ [[in] Libro Infancie Christi]
reports that when Mary with her son Jesus, and Joseph
fled to Egypt and were resting beneath a palm tree, with
Mary suffering much from hnnger, at the bidding of the
child Jesus the palm tree bent to the ground . . . and
when Joseph was thirsty in the same place, at the
bidding of the Child Jesus the dry earth produced a rich
wellspring of water
. . . when the Blessed Virgin and Joseph on their
way to Egypt rested at the entrace of a cave and two
large dragons came out of it, they were greatly
frightened by their sight; but at the bidding of the
child Jesus the dragons meekly bowed their heads and
made for the desert. Also, a lion came along on the
same way and served them obediently until they were in
Egypt. Besides these marvels there were many
other miraculous things in the nativity of this blessed
child.