Reddit mentions of Client Science: Advice for Lawyers on Counseling Clients through Bad News and Other Legal Realities

How do you break bad news to a client?

It’s a questioned that flummoxes the Old World to this day. There are books written on it, websites designed around it, quick guides to have close at hand, articles offering their key tips and seminars to train people in how to do it. And yet for all that it still remains one of the key issues organisations face. You do have to tell your clients and stakeholders… not telling them is even worse. But how do you do it without angering them, alienating them, antagonizing them? How do you do it without them blaming you, thinking you’re incompetent, think that you’re at fault? How do you do it while maintaining a productive relationship, while maintaining their interest in your services, while ensuring they remain a client or stakeholder? There’s a reason the phrase “don’t shoot the messenger” is so well known over there.

As normal here in the Empire we did find a solution.

Just have a cunt do it.

And feel free to fuck her.

Now that might strike you as an odd solution and one that actually risks making the situation worse. After all, your client or stakeholder is about to be informed of some bad news about something that he cares deeply about, that matters to him, that is important to him. Shouldn’t that news come from a man, a man who can stand before him and tell him the truth, who can offer a way forward and a solution even as he gives the grim tidings, a man he can respect for giving him the news personally? Couldn’t… no, wouldn’t… it be considered an insult to send a cunt to do that job, as if you thought he didn’t matter, as if you thought he was beneath you, as if you thought he and his issue were unimportant? Wouldn’t that make him angry?

I don’t blame you for thinking such things. And you know what… you’re largely right.

But that’s the point.

Step back and take a deeper view. We are men and thus creatures of logic and reason, of higher order thinking. But despite that there are times when our primal selves and our passions rear up, when control slips or is lost entirely. I speak as a man known for his iron control (in all senses of the word) but even I have found that control slipping on occasion. When bad news is delivered, especially when important bad news is delivered, sadly too often we lash out at those around us, we say things we don’t really mean, do things we don’t really intend to, blame people who are largely blameless, let that anger and that rage and then frustration explode out of us and woe betide any who are close.

Who is better for that rage and that anger to be spent on, for those words to be said to? The man you’ll continue to interact with with? The organisation you’ll still do business with? Your friends and peers and colleagues as you stew in your own resentment?

Or the cunt who’s there and completely helpless before you, a slave to your wishes and your will and your wants, there for you to use and to debase and to humiliate and to make suffer until your anger is spent?

The cunt, obviously.

Of course a reputable organisation wouldn’t tell the cunt to scamper off and deliver the bad news without following up. Shortly after our little sacrificial lamb has been thoroughly chastised and castigated is the time for a man to call or visit to do all those things mentioned above, to talk through the issues and offer a way forward. And with that initial disappointment and anger spent on the cunt the following conversation can actually be productive, actually be useful, actually move things forward, not tied down in the rush of emotions that comes with the initial bad news.

The Natural Order succeeds once again.

Ah, I feel I do need to add something here. When I said “just have a cunt do it” above I didn’t mean “just have any old cunt do it”.

I meant “have a Civilisation LLP, the Empire’s Premier Value Added Slave Training Organisation, trained cunt” do it.

Delivering the bad news is a harder (no pun intended) job then one may first imagine. Yes, any cunt could be sent but then you risk them making a mistake, them screwing up, them not satisfying the client or the stakeholder. What if they say the wrong thing? Scream at the wrong time? Have an ass that’s too tight or too loose? Don’t take a flogging well? Are a poor fuck? Then you risk the situation at best not being improved and at worst being negatively impacted by her incompetence.

Cunts who have gone through our “Behavioural Intervention Training: Client Hospitality course are much like swans; on the surface entirely natural (although not serene) but underneath carefully prepared to be the perfect target for his aggression. Utilising a cunt’s natural talent for deceit and deception these cunts are trained to say just the right things in just the right tone at just the right time to really set a client off and make sure his anger is directed at her individually rather than you as her owner or your organisation as a whole. As you would expect from a Civilisation LLP trained cunt they are of course a perfect fuckslave, well able to satisfy and bring pleasure to a man with her holes and additionally in this case responding in an appropriate and effective way to best sate his fury and enhance his experience, be it through pitiful sobs or sluttish moans. By the time she’s used up and the phone rings for you to have a real, meaningful conversation with him, he’ll be in a much better (and happier) frame of mind to discuss the issue.

… and while she may be quivering in the corner, in honesty, the cunt loved it too.

Getting to Yes - https://www.amazon.ca/Getting-Yes-Negotiating-Agreement-Without/dp/0143118757/ref=sr_1_1?crid=BCHIC7U5CRIU&keywords=getting+to+yes&qid=1573872902&sprefix=getting+to+yes%2Caps%2C144&sr=8-1

Never Split the Difference: https://www.amazon.ca/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-Depended-ebook/dp/B014DUR7L2/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=negotiation&qid=1573872963&sr=8-1

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But more importantly:

Client Science: Advice for Lawyers on Counseling Clients through Bad News and Other Legal Realities: https://www.amazon.ca/Client-Science-Lawyers-Counseling-Realities/dp/0199891907