Reddit mentions of Colleges That Change Lives: 40 Schools That Will Change the Way You Think About Colleges

If you know what you are interested in, look for schools that offer that major. Talk with a teacher or coach who you're close to, or your guidance counselor. They can give you some specific options because they know you and your academic record better.

There are plenty of guidebooks out there. My school is in this one. All the schools in there are great and you might find something that clicks. Your guidance counselor or library will probably have a bunch of books like these for you to browse.

Think about what kind of school you want: big/small, urban/rural, east/west/midwest, strong on-campus community/most people live off-campus. Is cost a concern? Try going to a community college first.

What kind of clubs are available to join? Sports? Greek life? Does overall student support seem nice?

Have the dorms been recently renovated or do most people live off-campus? Is it in a safe area?

How easy is it to declare/change a major and minor?

Do students have good relationships with professors? Is there a career center, a tutoring and learning disability center? Are there people that can help you find internships and funding, set up job-shadowing?

Are you ok with Teaching Assistants running most of your classes? Does being in a room with 200 students terrify you? How about a room with 4 students?

Make a list of your likes and dislikes of the colleges you've already visited. Did school A have too much of a "party" atmosphere for you? Was B too big or too small? Was school C too far away or too close? Find what you like, and look for colleges that have a few or more of those qualities. Not everyone has an "a-ha!" moment when they find the perfect college for them. You might have to transfer to find a good place for you. Good luck!

>Or were you personally, thoroughly, manually evaluated on your skills?

Yes, as close to this as you could realistically get. I went to a a small private college with class sizes of as little as 2-3 people in some departments.

Even teachers teaching the same class had different tests and assignments tailored to the needs of the students. So if you want to stick to your standardized comment, it was standardized at the specific class (not even course) level.

The average class size for the entire college was 13 students.

Edit:

I'll also add that because of the very small class sizes, students were for the most part personally, manually evaluated. Sure, they got grades on tests, but often, usually if in the student's benefit, grades were adjusted based on personal evaluation. When you have 5 students, you can do things like that.

On an off-topic note: Small class sizes also allowed some classes to just be listed as TBD on the schedule when signing up, so the professor could just pick a time that worked for everyone afterwards. And you get to do things live have class in a garden on campus, or even the cafeteria. It was an all-around amazing experience, but unfortunately not one that I will likely be able to afford for my own kids.

If anyone is interested in a college with an environment like this, check out Colleges That Change Lives. Luckily, my dad read it before we started looking at colleges, which got me looking in that direction.

/u/tuckermalc and /u/pizzzahero both have great comments. I'll add a bit. Go to /r/stoicism, read [William Irvine's book] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0195374614?keywords=william%20irvine&qid=1456992251&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1), then read [Epictetus's Enchiridion] (http://www.amazon.com/Enchiridion-Dover-Thrift-Editions-Epictetus/dp/0486433595/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1456992275&sr=8-1&keywords=enchiridion). follow their guidelines. Also check out /r/theXeffect. The most important thing is controlling your habits. If you're in the habit of eating healthy, getting enough sleep, going to the gym, etc. then you're set.

Now for stuff that's harder to do. Go see a therapist. Or a psychiatrist. Try to find a [therapist who can do EMDR] (http://www.emdr.com/find-a-clinician/) with you, it's a very effective technique (I saw a clinician who uses EMDR for two years, and it changed my life-- and, importantly, it's supported by strong scientific evidence, it's not quackery stuff like homeopathy or acupuncture). If you decide to go to a psychiatrist, tell them you don't want SSRIs. Look at other drugs: Wellbutrin, tricyclics, SNRIs, etc (check out selegiline in patch form, called EMSAM, as well). Seriously, go see a professional and talk to them. I have no doubt that you're wrestling with mental illness. I have been there. For me, it just felt normal. I didn't understand that other people didn't feel like I did...so it took me a long time to go get help. But it's so important to just start working through these things and getting support. That's really the most important thing you can do. It will make your life so much better. If you aren't able to get to a therapist, do Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) on yourself! [This is a brilliant program] (https://moodgym.anu.edu.au) that's widely respected. Do it over and over. Also read [Feeling Good by David Burns] (http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1456992639&sr=8-1&keywords=feeling+good+david+burns). It's a book on CBT, and can help you get started. There are lots of other resources out there, but you have to begin by realizing that something is wrong.

Finally, I'll talk about college. Don't try to go to fricking Harvard or MIT. You won't get in, and those aren't even the right schools for you. There are many excellent schools out there that aren't the super super famous Ivies. Look at reputable state schools, like UMich, UMinnesota, the UC system, etc. get ["Colleges that Change Lives"] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0143122304?keywords=colleges%20that%20change%20lives&qid=1456992746&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1), the [Fiske Guide to Colleges] (http://www.amazon.com/Fiske-Guide-Colleges-2016-Edward/dp/1402260660/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1456992768&sr=8-1&keywords=fiske+guide), and [Debt-Free U] (http://www.amazon.com/Debt-Free-Outstanding-Education-Scholarships-Mooching/dp/1591842980/ref=pd_sim_14_15?ie=UTF8&dpID=515MwKBIpzL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR104%2C160_&refRID=1VC3C23RJP6ZMXGG5QBA). One thing I realized after college was that I would've been happy at any of the school I looked at. People are fed such a line of BS about school, like you have to go to the top Ivies or something. No way. Find a good place at which you can function, learn as much as possible, and have a good social life. Like another person said, also look at going to a community college for a year and then transferring-- my relative did this and ended up at Harvard for grad school in the end.