Reddit mentions of Coming to Wholeness: How to Awaken and Live with Ease (The Wholeness Work Book 1)

Thanks for the additional details. Very helpful in diagnosing the problem.

First off, you are doing great with 2 hours a day of meditation on the breath, especially despite having executive dysfunction. In fact, I'd say that is an excellent sign that you will be able to completely overcome executive dysfunction. Most people can't get themselves to meditate 2 hours a day, including most people who "don't have" executive functioning problems.

Next, I'd say that low ability to get things done does equal suffering. I've suffered from that too and it sucks ass. And one translation of "dukkha" is "stress." I consider stress and suffering to be synonyms.

I'm a hypnotist specializing in resilience to stress so I may be able to help with the stress relief part. The way I see it, meditation is really good, but it's also very general. It's like cardiovascular exercise or strength training, which is sometimes called "General Physical Preparation" or GPP. Meditation very generally improves your mental environment, but it's not specific enough to tackle something like transforming the stress you feel around some specific thing like school or getting out of bed or engaging in a hobby. Eventually meditation may clear out those stresses, given 3+ years of dedicated practice. But often it doesn't, despite having tremendous general benefits.

I'd suggest taking some of that meditation time and dedicating it instead to a practice that more specifically addresses specific stressors and your stress response to them.

Here are my top recommendations:

1. The Trauma Tapping Technique. Looks super dumb, doesn't make sense why it would work, but has been proven to work with even very serious things like PTSD from people who survived the Rwandan genocide. I use it myself and teach it to my clients. I think it probably works due to distraction and creating new connections by doing something that interrupts the normal pattern. The format is extremely simple: think of something that makes you feel stress until you get a bit of the feeling going (no need to overwhelm yourself with the feeling though), then do the tapping sequence twice, then think about it again. The feeling will generally either be lower or gone, or a new feeling will arise. If just lowered, do one or more rounds of tapping until the feeling is gone. If a new feeling, tap on that. 85% of people find it helps significantly the first time they do it, other people need a little practice or a different method.
   
   
2. Core Transformation. This method helped me completely overcome anxiety and depression. It took me many sessions, but I could feel it working and it feels fantastic so I kept going with it. Full disclosure: I work for the author Connirae Andreas. Some people find this method too complex to self-facilitate effectively, but given your 2 hours a day practice, you can likely do it. Very compatible with meditation. I consider it a super duper form of metta, but technically it's "parts" work.
   
   
3. The Wholeness Work. The latest method from Connirae Andreas. More elegant than Core Transformation and sessions don't take as long, and more meditative. I still prefer CT, but many people find they naturally gravitate to Wholeness Work more. You start with a feeling and end up dissolving both the feeling and the sense of "I" into spacious awareness (or what Loch Kelly calls "Awake Awareness"). Also very compatible with meditation.
   
   Best of luck, and feel free to ask any questions about these methods if you have them. There are many more techniques than those, but these are some of the best.