Reddit mentions of Crisis of Conscience: The story of the struggle between loyalty to God and loyalty to one’s religion.

Welcome to the board! I found ex-JW information around 20 years after I left, but that was some years ago.

>I still always go back to what if, or second guessing myself.

It's likely because you've never deconstructed the [false] beliefs that you were taught.

You've just now found out about the ex-JW groups, if I read your opening post correctly.

There is a mountain of information out on the internet now, about how wrong the WT Society was/is, and more significantly about how CORRUPT the WT Society was/is.

Someone's already recommended JW facts, right? I haven't read the rest of the thread yet.

Edit to add JW facts link: https://jwfacts.com/

And the book written by Ray Franz that first blew off the lid on the inner and extremely corrupt workings of the WT Society: https://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Conscience-struggle-between-religion/dp/0999499211

Also, to anyone else reading this, if I haven't linked the most current version of Crisis of Conscience, please tell me. Thanks!

Oh, and John Cedars' book: https://www.amazon.com/Reluctant-Apostate-Leaving-Jehovahs-Witnesses/dp/0995669104

And his highly informative YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz1w0ll081JJiYcjb298pOw

Oh, and EXJW Critical Thinkers' channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpHhWSPtMDTSa8dzapmzo5A

Hardcover

Paperback

Very excited. I never got to read this and I need to make a decision soon

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999499211/ref=sr_1_3_det?ie=UTF8&qid=1520134846&sr=8-3#productPromotions

Reading Ray Franz's book opened my eyes and I'll be forever grateful to that dear man. Here it is, it was just re-released this week! It's quickly sold out but will be in stock very soon.

Reading your post made my heart glad, and you can take a deep breath, you will be fine. The fact that you're here now shows you've already taken the first big step in getting your freedom.

I was in your shoes 2 years ago and i still can remember the incredible relief that I felt when I realized Armageddon is made up, they just use it to control the rank and file, identical to the Catholics and their fearmongering about Hell.

Reasearch! Research! Research, the King and his Kingdom!

In research you will find your freedom. It's better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999499211/ref=sr_1_3_det?ie=UTF8&qid=1520134846&sr=8-3#productPromotions

Every congregation. The entire organization. You need this book

https://www.amazon.ca/Crisis-Conscience-struggle-between-religion/dp/0999499211

Also watch these. This man is a former Governing Body member. He wrote the book above

https://youtu.be/iK3F9hBcy2M

The actual history of jw:

https://youtu.be/VE3zp9FiyiQ

God doesnt have an organization:

https://youtu.be/mEnySmz-4NQ

Wake up. You have a bright future ahead of you

This is my letter i wrote my jw family using only their bible & publications to prove they are being mislead by false teachers

https://www.bcbpa.com/anonymous-canada

5th edition came out this year.

https://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Conscience-struggle-between-religion/dp/0999499211

Amazon

Of course!

This was amazingly helpful to me: https://oyc.yale.edu/religious-studies

Teaches you the history and context behind the Hebrew Bible and Greek Scriptures. It’s a great intro to a deeper look at the Bible. I learned so much from those two courses. They are pretty long, but well worth it.

Then I would recommend checking out Bart D Erhman’s books. He has a few lectures on audible and YouTube.

Also, I highly recommend reading Ray Franz’s book Crisis of Conscience. He was a Governing Body member in the 70s/80s who left and wrote an autobiography about his experiences. It’s mind blowing.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0999499211/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522373103&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=crisis+of+conscience+by+raymond+franz

I just wrote a post about my time inside the organization. You can see it if you click on my name.

As for the shady part of the GB well maybe you don't know that Geoffrey Jackson was part of the Australian investigation into child sex abuse.

The Watchtower claims they aren't against education but then again you have Tony Morris who talks about against college not just once but at least twice in high HD.

Then again in the 80's, one of the governing body members got kicked out because he found out a lot of shady shit that was going down. He wrote a whole book about being a governing body member and how shitty it was.

There's a lot of random stories from the current and former bethelites that come here. In fact some of my favorite stories are of people like Jaracz.

Here’s the link to the UK Amazon page:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0999499211/

That Watchtower article is crap - you must always independently research Watchtower.


Here's the link to Amazon where the book can be ordered from:
https://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Conscience-struggle-between-religion/dp/0999499211/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1539476363&sr=8-1&keywords=crisis+of+conscience+by+raymond+franz

​

Best of luck

Crisis of Conscience: The story of the struggle between loyalty to God and loyalty to one's religion. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999499211/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_vgdpDbJYRG69T

I was in a similar situation as you. I won't try to guess your current views on the Watchtower organization, but let me share my experience.

For two years I was disfellowshipped, but still believed it was The Truth. We have a special acronym for this over at r/exjw - POMI (Physically Out, Mentally In). It is not a good situation. You try to lead a normal life, but deep down you feel deeply guilty and unworthy, convinced that, when Armageddon comes, God will personally destroy you for turning your back on Him. It's virtually impossible to do anything meaningful with your life when you live with this burden.

Fortunately, after 2 years I gave myself permission to research my faith.... actual research. I read Crisis of Conscience. I visited JW Facts. I soon realized that, it wasn't all "apostate lies" like I had been warned. Rather, I had been lied to by the Governing Body my entire life. I really can't put into words how joyful it is to be set free from Watchtower guilt.

My point is this: There is life after Watchtower. And it's more rewarding and satisfying than I could have ever imagined.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0999499211/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520391160&sr=8-1&pi=CB192198896_AA75_QL70&keywords=crisis+of+conscience

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. You are right to be concerned - this could very easily tear your family apart. I have seen it happen firsthand when someone in my family was recruited into the Dubs then became totally alienated from her non-Dub husband. You could very easily end up in a situation where both your wife and your child are brainwashed into thinking you are a bad influence and that only other Dubs are worth spending time with. You definitely do not want to be complacent about this. The JWs are not "just another religion". It is a very dangerous and nasty cult.

My advice would be to immediately start "studying" the JWs yourself - but NOT with their own material. JWs don't know their own history very well at all, but you can find a lot of eye opening stuff using outside materials like http://www.jwfacts.com

Here are the three books that I would strongly recommend you purchase and start reading right away:

The Reluctant Apostate: Leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses (a very long and well-researched explanation of the JWs - if you can only read one of these books, I would make it this one)

Combating Cult Mind Control (not focused on just the JWs, but a general book about how cults operate and how to try to work with someone to get them out)

Crisis of Conscience (an older book written by one of the "Governing Body" members that ended up leaving the religion)

If you read those books, you will learn a LOT about how the JWs operate and have ample proof that this is not a legitimate religion. However, you can't confront her directly with this info. She has been programmed by the cult to reject any direct attack on the religion.
However, as you read them, you will probably think of some questions that you'll have for your wife about the Dubs. Start asking her questions NOT in an aggressive way but just in a "curious" sort of way. For example, "What do you make of [this thing]? What is the JW explanation for that?"

When people are being brainwashed, you can't confront them directly about it. That just makes them dig their heels in. You have to slowly dismantle the belief system by asking them questions and forcing them to realize for themselves that the cult doesn't have a good answer for it.

I also recommend trying your best to find excuses to spend time away from home on meeting days to keep her away from the dubs as much as possible. Time spent away from the indoctrination sessions can often help people realize on their own that it is bullshit.

I think you're perceiving anger because I'm saying something negative about the organization, and it's making you feel defensive and angry, so you're projecting how you feel onto my words.

You're misinformed about every claim you made. If you want, you can research and see for yourself.

A few things to consider. Have you noticed that the Watchtower always bring court cases and political news stories to the congregation's attention when it has to do with them being "persecuted"? They mentioned Russia and had everyone write letters. They've talked about how they went to court and fought for their right to preach, and not to salute the flag. But they never mention the cases that accuse them of wrongdoing. They lose and settle so many of these cases, but never mention them. They never get into the details, they don't show you the supposed lies against them and how they've defended Jehovah's organization. They just tell you to believe their side of the story, without actually telling you anything about the story.

As for your claim that some witnesses made up the 1975 date, I used to believe that too. Until I saw copies of old Watchtower Publications that aren't available in the online library. You have to find a long time Jehovah's Witness that still has them. Here's a link to a page that gives a lot of sources, including audio, as to how so many JWs came to believe the end would come in 1975 https://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/1975.php

You don't have to look that far though, the Overlapping Generation is a hard one to swallow these days. Soon they'll be claiming that Jehovah's Witnesses who remember them saying that the generation of 1914 would not pass without Armageddon's arrival, had also just gotten confused and made it up. You'll see.

You can decide whether or not you want to verify it for yourself.

Lastly, I suggest you read Crisis of Conscience if you ever get a chance, and are actually interested in learning both sides.

Crisis of Conscience https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999499211/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_9WHzCbMPB3A85

He will love this book, it's a must have for every JW.