Reddit mentions of Depressive Illness-The Curse of the Strong

Let me first of all congratulate you, as you should yourself, on recognizing that you are having some difficulties and for seeking some form of help. Admitting that to yourself allows to you do something about it.

Be kind to yourself. We are all human, and we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Some people struggle with anxiety and low mood more than others, but that's ok. It doesn't make you any less of an amazing person, it just means that you have to find some healthy mechanisms with which to deal with it and try to nip it in the bud when you feel you are on the edge of the downward spiral. It's like learning to put a plaster over a sore heel before it becomes a blister, and then to change your shoes to something more comfortable whilst it gets better.

Sometimes you may fall down the spiral a little. That's ok too. It's like getting a cold. It sucks, but it's treatable and it won't be forever. You are stronger than you think and you have the power to pull yourself out of it (although it may not always feel like it). This will sometimes be harder than other times (some colds are worse than others), but you are strong, smart and resilient. Your brain is plastic enough that you have learned all the things you've learned since you were born, to get all the way to uwaterloo. Processes like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) use that plasticity to change the way you think about things and make you less anxious over time. There are self-guided books to help with this and sometimes courses offered by counselors/psychologists.

Find some things that make you happy. That sounds like a standard, throwaway line, but hear me out... I know this is not easy when you are feeling anxious - but think back to a time when you remember being happier and less anxious. What did non-anxious you enjoy doing? What relaxed non-anxious you? Do you have a cool photo of non-anxious you smiling and doing something you loved? One of the symptoms of anxiety and depression is that it sucks the motivation out of you and stops you remembering the joy of things. Do one of those things that you remember making you happy. At first it will feel like a grind, but over time you may find that the joy of those things starts to come back, if not slowly at first.

Do something that engages your senses. Anxiety can make you feel like you are stuck in the space between your brain and eyeballs. That's the space where overthinking happens - it's like having your eyes open but not seeing the world around you. There are a few things I would suggest to try and get yourself out of that space...

1. Sit in a space where there are people around. You don't necessarily have to engage with them. Hear their voices. See people coming and going. Feel the change in temperature when the door opens and closes. Notice things. Feel them. Smell the coffee being made.
   
2. Do some exercise. I don't just mean lift weights, although certainly do that if that's what you like. Do a sport that you enjoy. It doesn't have to be competitive. Go throw a basketball. Play soccer. Do yoga. Exercise also makes your body produce happy hormones.
   
3. Do some mindfulness training/meditation. There are many guided mindfulness meditations on youtube. There are also a number of books (e.g. https://www.amazon.ca/Mindfulness-Based-Stress-Reduction-Workbook/dp/1572247088/ ). Turn off all other phone notifications whilst you listen to them. The trick is to concentrate on your body - something the majority of people don't ever do in our fast-paced lives. It can really help alleviate anxiety. I believe counselling services also offer courses on mindfulness - this is well worth looking into.
   
4. When you are doing day-to-day things (e.g., taking a shower, washing dishes...), really DO them. Concentrate on how the water feels and how it sounds. Listen to the dishes clink against each other and how they sound different to one another. Smell the soap. Hear the bubbles popping.
   
5. Get out in nature. Remember how big and incredible the world is, and the infinitesimally small probability that it came to exist at all! Hear the birds tweeting. Watch Spring slowly taking over. Not too many thousands of years ago, out ancestors roamed the plains outside. We are still built for that environment and our concrete jungles can make us get stuck in our own heads.
   
   Life is a lot bigger than university, exams and interviews. Whilst getting rejected from interviews or not showing up for them is painful now (and I am in no way suggesting that it isn't), maybe future-you won't even remember these interviews in a few years time, so give present you some kindness and care.
   
   We can do our best to set ourselves up for success, but the world is full of randomness and things out of our control. Try not to stress about things you can't control. Be healthy, try your best (but not to the detriment of your well-being), do the things that make you happy and care for the people you care about.
   
   Please do not give up on seeking professional help. Continue to seek help from medical professionals. Ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist if you can. Talk to family and friends if you can. Continue to try counselling services and the workshops they offer.
   
   I'm not a professional, but I hope some of my personal advice may have been useful to you. Another book that may be worth a read is: https://www.amazon.ca/Depressive-Illness-Curse-Strong-Cantopher/dp/0859699749/
   
   Do not hurt yourself. You are more important than you can possibly know. Look at the way you are feeling as a 'blip'.
   
   Try to remind yourself that you WILL feel better.