Reddit mentions of Disciplining the Soul and Breaking the Two Desires: Books XXII and XXIII of the Revival of the Religious Sciences (Ghazali Series, Bk. 22 & 23)

19 year old Muslim at a Western University here. I'll be taking a year off for 2017 but I've still experienced two years of the lite university life.

I say lite because in comparison to you I commuted from home and really didn't end up going to any parties.

I've only went to two from what I remember, my Computer Science cohort's end of camp party and a close friend's 18th.

My close friend is Hindu with a lot of Muslim friends, so he kept it alcohol free and I definitely appreciated that.

Can't say the same thing about the end of camp party but I only got a few odd looks and comments, 'you don't drink?'

I know it seems hard right now. I know you might think the only way to make friends is by parties but it's definitely not.

You have to look with effort and genuinely entwine your hobbies, careers and interests with people to spark up a friendship.

I met good friends from classes, at the praying place, doing hackathons as a team and even doing projects together.

Not going to parties hasn't bothered me at all honestly. I advise you that you stop going to them and transition to more productive events. As a warning though, you are risking your faith by continually being in that environment.

I still am surrounded by alcohol during some events. I'm fine with it considering that it's the culture here. I just people I don't drink. I even make a few alcoholic references or jokes! Thanks to The Simpsons!

So it'll be fine. The Muslim event you went to, pleaaase stop thinking of everyone as hardcore religious Muslims - perhaps that's the problem.

The people there are just normal guys like you and me. Some consider themselves as gamers, others are sporty with soccer or cricket, a lot love movies and a little may hate movies.

So my point is to not think of it as a hardcore religious event if it's just a socialising one. Just chill, say Salam and open up a conversation. Perhaps a few friendships will be born that day.

Oh yeah, and of course which 19 year old doesn't think about sex.

A few tips with that would be to start researching on the nikkah and proper Islamic route to a relationship (marriage). This isn't to make you marry but to make you understand what the future can entail. And to realise the wisdom and advantages over conventional dating.

Try fasting, always lower your gaze, keep busy and cut off all masturbation. The latter not because it's Haram but it increases your chances of zina. A sexualised mind will often not lower its gaze.

Also, a recent thing that's been surprisingly helping is studying some Islamic philosophy and history. Al-Ghazali has the perfect book for you.

It's difficult, it really is. Especially in a sexually liberal place like college. However it'll be eventually worth it.

Let's all do dua for NW97.

Ghazali had some great work, a book I'd highly recommend to Muslims and nonmuslims would be "Disciplining the Soul and Breaking the Two Desires". The two desires he details are gluttony and sexual desire, before reading the book I'd never thought of the two as intertwined. Here's an amazon link for anyone interested: http://www.amazon.com/Disciplining-Soul-Breaking-Two-Desires/dp/0946621438/ref=pd_cp_b_0

Imam Al-Ghazali's Disciplining the Soul and on Breaking the Two Desires: Books XXII and XXIII of the Revival of the Religious Sciences. Translated by Sk. Abdal Hakim Murad (T.J. Winter) is an absolute must read for everyone!

It deals with how one can discipline oneself to become and better muslims and how to break the desires of the stomach and the genitals to overcome oneself and get in control of these two desires. According to Imam Al-Ghazali these two are the strongest desires of the human being and once a person learns to control these two desires, then he can control all other desires as they all stem from these two desires.

Amazon link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Al-Ghazali-Disciplining-Soul-Breaking-Desires/dp/0946621438/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1375134618&sr=8-2&keywords=al+ghazali

It's not easy but it's part of the test. Remember Allah is aware of Everything you do. I'd recommend reading books such as Controlling your Desires by imam Ghazali.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Al-Ghazali-Disciplining-Soul-Breaking-Desires/dp/0946621438

Or something like this to increase your connection with Allah.
http://www.khanqah.co.za/pdf/connection_with_allah.pdf

Not sure about your personal situation but is marriage an option?

Personally for me it would be a combination of not even letting the thoughts enter my mind (seeking refuge from shaytan) combining with some dhikr.

Also, try to attend congrational prayers and dhikr, as being around others with the same focus can strengthen the heart.

Ultimately pray that Allah gives you the strength to persevere.