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Reddit mentions of Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery
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Reddit mentions: 2
We found 2 Reddit mentions of Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery. Here are the top ones.
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Welcome to the community! I hope you find inspiration here that will help you on your journey.
>My mind would constantly find reasons not to do it, and I would think that it made no sense since a lot of my friends watch porn and have steady erections and regular sex.
Right off the bat I want to point out that our reasoning is extremely cunning and addiction is sneaky as hell. It will think of any excuse to try to get you to engage in this habit that has ZERO positive benefits. You say that all of your friends watch porn and it doesn't affect them negatively. I would venture a guess that they are not even aware of all the ways that porn and masturbation are negatively affecting their lives. I think that anyone who engages in this activity is lying to themselves and it is harmful in some form. Even if the effects they are experiencing are only slightly negative, they are still holding them back in one way or another.
Here are some things that I like to tell those who are new to recovery. Everyone's journey through recovery will be different and different things work for different people. That being said, I think most of the things on this list have the potential to lead those new to this in the right direction.
http://www.sexualcontrol.com/The-Most-Personal-Addiction/
There is a free PDF download on the website. I really like this book because it gives concrete strategies for overcoming porn and masturbation addiction. Read it all with a grain of salt. And approach everything in your initial recovery with skepticism. One of the most important things I have learned is that nearly every system says OUR WAY IS THE ONLY WAY. Seriously. 12 Steps says this. Zychik says it. Patrick Carnes, the leading sex addiction researcher says it. I really honestly think that there is NOT only one way. I am currently using ideas from a bunch of different people in my recovery and many of these things are directly warned against in other programs. If you finish reading and want to discuss any of the topics just message me... I would love to help.
http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Shame-Binds-Recovery-Classics/dp/0757303234
This book is great for exploring yourself and finding acceptance and love within.
http://www.amazon.com/Facing-Shadow-Starting-Relationship-Recovery/dp/0982650523
I'm not a huge fan of Patrick Carnes because he seems to miss a basic idea about recovery that I think is important. But this book really is great for exploring your addiction. I would recommend it in small doses. It is highly interactive and it is sometimes very challenging to work with. This book is best used with the help of a therapist.
Hope I've helped in some small way. Remember that you are stronger that this. You have the power within to make the correct choice. You have just been misguided by a fucked up society that worships sex and porn in a truly disturbing way. You are on the path to enlightenment. You are better than all of that garbage porn. I believe you have the power to change. It's obvious from your post that you want to change.
Best of luck on your journey and never give up on trying. One day something you read will click and you will get this devil off your back.
If you're having a really hard time about it, look into sexual addiction.