Reddit mentions of Happy Sales HSCSS4, 10 Pc Chopstick Stainless Steel Chopsticks 5 Pairs spiral

Why don't they just use chopsticks? I think I saw that as LifeProTip here once, and I can't go back. It makes it so easy to reach into the bag and grab a chip without getting oil or cheese-dust onto your hand.

I even bought stainless steel chopsticks on amazon so I could just keep washing them and reusing them.

Edit: OK, I realize OP meant "french fries" and not "crisps" you crazy Limeys.

So I met this guy named Donovan. He was in some special branch of the military. He told one of my friends and I some of the military secrets he knew. Here they are:

You remember the Miami zombie? At first, the media was saying that he was on bath salts, but Donovan knew the truth. You see, when humans are born, they have something called the hox (hawks? I've never seen it spelled) gene. It shuts off after a few minuets after birth. This gene makes sure the baby grows correctly in the womb, but more importantly, It inhibits the deterioration of DNA. As you may know, as people get older, the ends of their DNA strands start to unravel. This is why people are less healthy when they get old. So if the hox gene remains active, it prevents aging.

The military started doing experiments on the hox gene and were able to turn it back on. Just as they had suspected, it did prevent aging. However, there was a side effect. When a person with an active hox gene enters a fight or flight response, their body undergoes a change. They grow many inches taller, and change into one of six different archetypes. Donovan never told me what they are, but he did say that one archetype has thick fur and claws and another has feathers, a beak and talons. So you can imagine that the others have something to do with animals. Anyway, this change occurs within just a few minutes. In the process, the body uses up all of its stored nutrients and fat, leaving the person starving. Because of this, the only thing the person can focus on is eating. And they will eat anything around them. So the Miami zombie was actually an escaped test subject from the secret underground military base Fort Patrick.

Another thing he told us was about the reason for the gulf war. The oil thing was actually a cover up. What the military was really after was something they found buried deep underground in Iraq using satellite imaging technology. They had to go over there to find out what it was. When they dug down to this thing, they found that it was a room miles long with hieroglyphs covering the walls. This room was holding a massive creature 14 miles long and a mile high at its highest. It was covered in bone plating with openings all along the sides. At these openings, there were large sphincters that would open up when approached. Inside, there were what appeared to be hallways and living quarters. It had many pairs of legs along its side, but also gills and fins. It also had a special set of organs which could create gravity wells used to allow the creature to fly. So they secretly transported this thing back to Fort Patrick to study it more.

They found out that this creature was called a leviathan, and that there were two others. One is very famous and is known as Atlantis. The other is at the bottom of the Mariana trench. When James Cameron went to the trench, he was actually on a top secret government mission to find this other leviathan. Anyway, when studying this creature in Fort Patrick, they found what looks like a cockpit. However, try as they might they could not open it. They tried forcing it open, but it didn’t work. They also tried shocking it with giant cattle prods, but all that did was make it angry. In retaliation, it used its special gravity well making organs to alter the climate above where it was being held. This change created a tropical storm which grew larger and became Hurricane Katrina. Just when they had run out of ideas, they found out that the leviathan would only open it for the person it chose to be its pilot. They finally found the chosen one, who just so happened to be Donovan.

Inside the cockpit, there were more hieroglyphics and a command chair thing. After deciphering the writing, they found out that it was instructions for piloting the leviathan. They also discovered that in the process of becoming the pilot, Donovan’s brain and spinal cord would be removed and assimilated into the leviathan. You may be asking how it could assimilate a human nervous system into a leviathan body. Well, the answer is that the DNA of the leviathan is identical to the DNA of humans. So Donovan decided that he wanted to keep his body and declined the position of pilot. The military did not like this and tried to force him, but he escaped. Even now, he and the leviathan communicate through dreams.

Is any of this true? The only thing I can be certain about is that I did meet Donovan and he did tell me these things. I will let you decide about the rest.

This is the thing I want! I hope you liked my tale.

YAY good mood!!! Can you feel the love? I feel the love! Sushi makes me happy, but I'm the only one in the house with real chopsticks D=

This makes me unreasonably happy.

We could use some chopsticks! Enough left over to gift someone else, too~

Thanks for the contest! :D

IVE BEEN GOOD I SWEAR! Especially since this would be for my fiance, not me. I'm that good of a wifey.

Head scratcher dealie, which is actually for my doggies

Chopsticks

Not 1, not 2, but 3 Boondocks books

Doggie treats

Mustache iWhatever button covers, notepad, and face decorations

I see you have chopsticks on your list. I recommend these. They were gifted to me a little while ago and I love them. :o Easy to clean, no splinters, very sleek looking, and you can use them as wolverine claws!

I'm only going onto Reddit for a minute....

Link

Thanks for the awesome contest :)

Meow~

I love short work weeks

stainless steel chopsticks!