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Reddit mentions of It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

Sentiment score: 17
Reddit mentions: 28

We found 28 Reddit mentions of It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy. Here are the top ones.

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy
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Found 28 comments on It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy:

u/zazzlekdazzle · 65 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

This is what worked for me, more than once: It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken. To cheer you up in the mean time: Hyperbole and a Half: God of Cake.

And as just a probably-too-soon postscript here: no man who doesn't want to be with you, for any reason, can possible be the perfect man for you. And as to feeling complete with an SO, I stopped getting crushed by break-ups (though they always hurt) after I started to look into being complete on my own. This, for me, was a big change, but it doesn't have to be. I followed all my dreams: to get in shape and be stylish and beautiful, to be a writer, a dancer, to get my PhD in Biology. I also worked on myself as a person so that I learned to take more risks, not to fear information or stay willfully ignorant, tried to be empathic and kind to people who were suffering even if I didn't understand it completely, and try to live with as little bitterness and judgement of others as possible. I learned how to forgive without an apology, to have conflict without fighting, to stop talking all the time and listen more.

I have been with my partner now for 5 years, we are both 40 and no spring chickens. I love him madly, and know he is a special man for me, and we have a relationship that can never be duplicated. But with all that, even though I know a break-up would be really hard for me, even with all the time behind us, our ages, and the life we've built together, I know I would make it if things had to end. I am my complete self with him and without him. I love him, but he is my partner not my other half and not my identity.

Wow, that got long, all I meant to do was recommend the book! Sorry for all the too-soon advice, I went someplace weird inside myself, your post clearly touched me a great deal.

OK, now for some more appropriate advice. Go easy on yourself and take it day by day. Do not turn people away who want to support you, accept it -- you deserve it. Be kind to yourself the same way you would a friend in your situation: do things that are good for you, but not self-destructive (e.g. two bowls of ice cream is a special treat, two gallons might have you hating yourself; sleeping late is indulgent, staying in bed all day....probably not the best idea). Cry! Cry A LOT! It's good for you and totally appropriate. Don't keep trying to force yourself to look into (anything but the very near) future. You really can only be reasonably sure of what will happen this week, so there's no telling what will be going on months from now. Call all your besties back home and whine and complain all you want, this is your big chance! You deserve it. Good luck, hon, and all the best.

u/blue_lotion · 7 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

After a horrid break up I actually liked his other book better "It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken. I found that advice a lot better for long term relationships.

My only issue with those two books is that it seems geared towards younger women and I felt silly reading parts of it. The overall message was helpful-especially the two author's actual experiences.

u/trexrocks · 5 pointsr/AskWomen

I know it doesn't mean that much now, but it will get better. He didn't realize how amazing you were, and that makes him not good enough for you, so fuck him. It will not last forever, you will be fine eventually.

Feel free to cry as much as you want. This is how your body deals with the stress, so don't let people shame you into hiding your pain.

Also, this book is an amazing read after a breakup. My roommates and I have all read it at one point (sometimes multiple points) and it never fails to make us feel better and give us some perspective.

u/Talio202 · 4 pointsr/loseit

That's horrible. But tomorrow is another day. Try to do better tomorrow. You can do it. If you like funny helpful books read this: https://www.amazon.ca/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968 It helped me get through some things it's good for a lot of things. It does cover over eating your breakup. It's cheap and story segmented with good anecdotes. Feel better, you've lost 50 pounds that's a lot of good work and excellent dedication.

u/JulietteStray · 3 pointsr/bimbofetish

I'm not saying Danielle isn't the most eye-catching thing about this photo (she totally, totally is; she's a super babe), but I know I wasn't the only one curious about what book she's reading.

u/killermarsupial · 3 pointsr/gaybros

I've been in a similar place. Two years ago. And if you're feeling anything like I did, there's probably not a whole lot I can say to make you feel better. Time. Time was the only thing able to make it better for me. When I was 6 months out of the relationship and still felt sad and hurt, I realized it was time to see a counselor. She helped me see things from a different point of view.

Also, a book -- It's Called a Break-up Because it's Broken -- is targeted for chicks but it's got some really, really sound and important advice.

I hope you feel better.

u/kvaltx · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

It's Called a Breakup because it's Broken. It really helped me stay away from a guy that was really really bad for me. It was my first real relationship and I thought it was forever. It helped me realize it didn't have to be forever just because I loved him.

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968

u/madameinsanity · 2 pointsr/loseit

I am on Day 52 of 60 of breaking up with Doritos and McD's - see it's called a breakup because it's broken for inspiration.

If I can, you can too!

u/AwkwardBurritoChick · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

> 1) How long have you been No Contact?

I believe today is day 6. Last contact was last Tuesday.

> 2) What physical feature do you like most about yourself?

Hard one, but if anything, keeping my silver streak which some millennial colleagues I work with reminds them of a super hero that he more or less disparaged, I can grow in. For some reason I like my streak, though the other silver (gray) seems mousy at times, I really dig it, and well damn, it took me a long time to get this silver and I'm glad I'm going silver in a pretty cool manner.

> 3) What do you like most about your personality?

The words the replacement to a former colleague I was close to was leaving our company pretty much said it in word I couldn't use to explain myself and nearly floored when she said it as I used to be in her department, thrown into a more stressful position (by choice, expereince, culture) that she said to me "It was obvious that you were in stressful, high pressure situations and the face for your department. Yet what will stick with me is that no matter how it was apparent, sometimes in your tone, you always seemed to be calm, informed, even if you weren't fully, but you always assured "We'll get through this".

She was spot on; that' is my mantra at work, at home, with my family, and even now my ex-bf "We'll get through this" and "We'll see what we can do." and if not sure, my response "We'll find out".

I just know doing Helpdesk stuff that I need to keep it positive and apparently it bled into personal avenues. That rocks!


> 4) Have you gotten outside for at least 30 minutes (weather permitting) in the last 24 hours? Have you done any sort of exercise in the last 24 hours?

Yes, I got outside. I love the cool air. Exercise, no. Not conventioally though I did spend about an hour to almost 2 hours going through things, lifting, and throwing out. Perhaps not the gym, but I de-cluttered and rid of things I meant to for a few weeks, months, and aim to do more ridding of shit in my home.

> 5) Name a song, movie, TV show, or book (or any / all) that has helped you work through your break up. Maybe something that's helped you think about it differently or perhaps something that's just made you laugh.

Interesting question. Yesterday was my "take care of me day" and I watched the movies I suggested to him that he didn't want to watch for several bullshit reasons though he is a self proclaimed avid movie enthusiast. I watched Interstellar, 12 years a slave, and "Good Night and Good Luck".

I texted my oldest daughter that the realiztion that my movie choices had an essence of heart and doing right in all of them. Something he seems to not be able to connect to in his movie choices and in real life. He thinks life is about $ and I go by heart, and like to surround myself and want my adult children to be surrounded with people that have heart.

I realized he doesn't have 'the heart' and he also is a shitty partner that for every one movie that was my choice he watched, there were about 300 he decided that I watched.


Oh... as to recommended reading from break ups I had in the past, the book "It's Called a Break Up Because It's Broken" Co-written by the same guy who wrote the "he's not that into you" episode of Sex in the City.

When I went through my divorce, which was far more dramatic, hard to deal with, I threw myself into literature (internet was kinda new) of anything historical mainly biographies about WWII and the struggles. It helped me to keep in mind tha if I thought I was having a rough time? Yea, I'm not away from my family for several years, on a pacific island made of volcanic shards, fighting an enemy I can't see... Okinawa... then add into tha the Band of Brothers type stuff... it kept me humble that while my struggle was real, that there are others who suffered more and for the greater good of our country. It helped keep my suffering, pain in perspectve and realized I needed to find a purpose as a mother.

u/Dominicsjr · 2 pointsr/gaymers

This may sound really silly but I /highly/ recommend this book It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken

It's funny, and charming, and realistic and uplifting all at the same time.

u/zoryautrenyaya · 2 pointsr/askwomenadvice

If someone wants you to change fundamental aspects of your personality and appearance in order to be acceptable to them as a partner, you aren't compatible. Don't force it. I got a piece of advice before I was married (forget where--maybe the pre-marital counselor): Look at your partner. Know that it is entirely possible they will never change. They may, but it's not guaranteed and you can't force it. Will you take this person to be your partner, now, with all their flaws, and not plan on changing them later? Love them for who they are?

I suppose in a way it's good that he's telling you this now, rather than trying to change you after a wedding. He's being clear that you, as is? Aren't what he's looking for. You can either go to therapy and the gym to change who you are for this person, and hope that's all on his list of your shortcomings, or send him on his way so he can find someone who already fits his checklist. (NO shame in a checklist, I had one for a partner, but not as an ultimatum list--more like a checklist for potential dates!)

That's not a judgment of you and your worth. High five for a fellow introvert who saves the emotional demonstrations for close family and friends, and works in the garden instead of the gym! You are fine as you are, and there is someone out there for you who also doesn't enjoy crowds, will think you're an awesome mom to your kids, and won't dictate how you should be spending your free time. Who will love your body the way it is, or figure out a way to keep fit with you instead.


I highly recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968

It saved me from an abusive relationship and helped me stand firm in my own worth. Easy, fast read that will change your life.

u/frenchflower · 2 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

First of all, I'm so sorry. I know the pains of not being able to eat, being anxiety ridden, on the verge of tears, and feeling like I'm going to jump out of my skin from a terrible break up. After 4 years of dating, and our last year being on and off, because I kept finding out about all of the times he had cheated on me, and the final straw was when I walked in on him making out with the town slut. I had tried to make it work, and was devastated that my efforts were just shrugged off like I was nothing.

I cried for what felt like forever, and drinking wine at night was the only way for me to get any sleep. THANKFULLY, a girl friend that I wasn't so close with at the time, but had also gone through the most traumatizing break up I've ever heard of, messaged me and said we need to meet up for beer. I did, and the first thing she did was whip out a book called, "It's Called a Break Up Because It's Broken". After she said it was by the same guy who wrote, "He's Just Not That Into You", but convinced me to read it, and I thought, what the hell, it seemed to help her to be strong after her bad break up.

LET ME TELL YOU, I laughed out loud, wept and cried, and found myself whimpering in a heartbreaking voice, "Yeah I know..." It helped me build myself back up, gave me a set of rules to follow, and I couldn't be happier that I "left" that relationship completely.

Some Key Points that I followed from the book that really helped was the No Contact for 60 Days (at the least). It goes more into detail about how to go about this, and this was always the hardest for me, since I am so stubborn, and wanted to fix the problem with the problem.

Another one is, after being sad for a little bit, you have to stop being sad and get out. That means go travel to other cities, and switch up the scene a little bit. After about 3 weeks of crying, I planned out the next three weekends to be out of town, and that was the best decision for me. The first weekend I went to Key West, FL, the next I went to see my best and oldest friend (and ended up having so much fun that I was laughing in my sleep), and then NYC to see friends up there. I met so many people, and remembered, "Oh yeah, I'm awesome, and a happy person.."

The thing that sucks about break ups the most is that it takes time. Just remember it's all so temporary, and that this you are just in the thick of it right now, but you are strong enough to get through it.

Good Luck, and please post us with any progress in the coming weeks!

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1405871724&sr=1-1&keywords=it%27s+called+a+breakup+because+it%27s+broken

u/val_hollaaaaa · 2 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

Amazon link to book It's sort of cheesy, of course, but it actually helped me a lot and I passed it on to a friend who also found it helpful.

u/LittleMissP · 2 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

It's called a break up because it's broken.

Buy it, read it, know that the reason you feel sad is for the guy you loved and trusted, not for the guy who lied to you and flirted with other girls because you were "on a break".

u/jellybeannie · 2 pointsr/survivinginfidelity

Honestly, he sounds like a dreadful person. I know it hurts a lot now, and I wish as well there were something that could help speed it up. But it's all part of the process to get you to the new, better place you're going. And you'll get there!

Also, I have not read this nor am I affiliated with it, but I hear positive things: http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968

Hugs!

u/boilsandghouls · 2 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

INTERNET HUGS !! <3

And you can read this : http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968 I know it seems super cheesy but it helped me a lot.

u/Fmradiochick · 2 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

Hey Bean!

My mom always knows what I'm thinking! She's so sweet and we're really close.

[This book would be so awesome] (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0767921968/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pd_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=26SWLD702LW5B&coliid=I3RRLV88VVV9JZ)

Thanks for the contest!

u/sortbycolumn · 2 pointsr/ExNoContact

I swallowed my pride and started reading/listening to self help books. Based on other people's recommendations:

www.amazon.com/dp/0767921968 - funny and made me feel better if just for a few days; somewhat targeted towards women but I found it helpful

www.amazon.com/dp/1478121734 - finished it in less than hour and trying to follow its mantra.. strangely, I think it might be helping. Too early to tell but it's interesting.

I e-borrowed the first one from my library. Maybe possible with the second one too.

u/kaiplay · 2 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

"The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, “No, thanks. I’ll try my luck elsewhere.” That alone should make you realize that it wasn’t a match made in heaven."

Breakups suck and are gut wrenching. I'm so sorry you are going through that. My recommendation is to read this book and then evaluate the situation and what you are feeling. It sounds silly, but it really saved me years of heartache: It's Called a Breakup because it's Broken https://www.amazon.com/dp/product-description/0767921968

u/yerMum · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken

Aimed at women, but no reason it couldn't help you.

u/kimtaro1 · 1 pointr/actuallesbians

Books! These have helped me a lot:

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken

The No Contact Rule

Baggage Reclaim - A lot of good free articles!

They're all written from a hetero perspective but it's just as applicable.

The biggest thing is just going to be patience and time. Don't beat yourself up for not feeling a certain way by a certain time. Something shitty happened to you and it takes time to deal with it and adjust.

u/Shlinds · 1 pointr/ExNoContact

I can totally relate to you. I am a month into NC and a little over 40 days from the breakup and some days I am totally ok and others - a complete and utter mess (like today). I have had the same thoughts but then realize - he would in a sense win. He would be living his life and happy and content and my family would then be the ones suffering. It wouldn't even cross his radar so all the effort in thinking those thoughts are in a sense a waste.

Read this - http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968 It's so obvious but helpful to realize you aren't alone.

We are all feeling the same thing and have each other. These days around holidays are the WORSE and just believe that time will heal us even though it is so hard to believe.

u/emiliothehippo · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

I recently just went through a break up and found the book "It's Called A Break Up Because It's Broken' very helpful, its from the writers of 'He's Just Not That Into You'. It's a quick read but has a lot of constructive advice about how to move on when the relationship is over.

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406512548&sr=8-1&keywords=its+called+a+breakup+because+its+broken

u/out_here_not_there · 1 pointr/AskReddit

I'm so sorry to hear about you and your ex. Not sure if you were looking for something to read but this book really helped me get over my ex. It's also pretty timeless and versatile (whether he broke up with you or the other way around). It allowed me to get my mind clear and making it a breakover instead of breakup. Things will get better my dear, keep your head held high.

u/devilwriter · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

geared toward women but really helped me: http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1313958336&sr=8-1

and then anything by Wayne Dyer. :) Hope this helps.