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Reddit mentions of Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
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Reddit mentions: 88
We found 88 Reddit mentions of Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. Here are the top ones.
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Release date | July 2011 |
https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
The better parts teach you to be a better man and how to genuinely improve yourself, whether it's social skills, your career, your hobbies, your fashion sense, your mindset, how you approach challenges, etc. It's not about manipulating women or pick-up lines or the other bullshit methods people still associate with PUA.
We don't allow pirated materials on seddit out of respect for the professionals who come on here to do AMAs, so don't even post the links. You will be banned.
Does this link not work for you? That is the ebook version.
I'm happily paired off now, but used to follow this stuff more. For guys seeking women, I think the books The Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay and Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson are the books that best encompass the best advice that I accumulated over the years, and that has worked for me and other guys I know.
I got you: Models by Mark Manson
Dude, women are people--not assets. This is a person you like. Definitely stay friends with her.
Read Models by Mark Manson and watch this crappy quality video of one of his talks. Best beginner advice there is.
Warning: I'm going to shit all over your post and you will be mad about it. But if you really want to improve, you will swallow this bitter medicine and start on the road to actually becoming attractive.
> I'm not entitled
Yes you are. This whole post is dripping with resentment because things aren't going your way.
Does that upset you? It will because we aren't going to take your bullshit.
I hate to rain on your pity parade, but that's life. Nobody is going to hand you the keys to riches or women just because you fucking want it. You need to put your shoulders to the plough and work for it.
> I believe I'm cursed
The universe is incapable of blessing or cursing anybody. You have a bad case of demanding the universe (and women) should like you because you are friendly to them and they are friendly in return.
It doesn't work like that.
Literally this whole post can be boiled down to a spoiled child throwing a tantrum because his favorite toy was taken away.
You can cry about it, or you can make yourself better.
> I literally get friendzoned by every single girl.
That's because you aren't being honest with them or yourself. You want to bang these women, but you don't have a spine to actually show them that intent until long after you feel safe that they like you. You are sneaking around their emotions like a thief. You are trying to trick them into bed with a fake facade of "being nice".
Literally, you are a coward.
You won't make a sexual move until long after the friend relationship has started.
> I'm 100% convinced like me who just flat out act like I'm the most hideous guy when I actually have the balls to escalate our situation.
But you don't escalate the situation. You friendzone them immediately. You make no move. Then, long after the friend relationship is established, your real intent comes out and she realizes that the previous relationship was a complete and utter lie to try and get into her pants.
Imagine your best friend suddenly confessed his undying love to you. How would you react? Like a little snot-nosed shit, if this post is any indication.
> I truly don't see why [my friends] have success and I don't [...] they aren't that much different from me.
I see this all the time at my gym. People come wanting to have the washboard abs and the chiseled chest, but what do they do? They show up for two days, then never come back again. I see this over and over. You know who gets those abs? Those who put hundreds of hours in the gym. There is no shortcut.
You know why your friends are successful? They talked, flirted, and were rejected by hundreds of girls before finding the one "who wants the D". But you don't see all that hard work. You only notice their results. They are different from you because they put in the work and you did not. For whatever reason, you don't see how much work they put into their game.
You aren't going to get rippling pectorals from two pullups. It takes hundreds of pullups before you see results. Likewise, it takes hundreds of approaches and rejections before you start seeing results and improvements with women.
>I do everything right but still fail
You want to know a secret? You can do everything right and still fail. Not every girl is going to like you. Not every girl is going to sleep with you. Most of all, these girls aren't going to put up with your bullshit.
>Any advice?
So you made it this far without ragequitting. There might be hope for you yet.
First, flush all of that bullshit I've pointed out from your system. Write off all the "progress" you think you've made. You need to get back to the basics and practice fundamentals. If you aren't prepared for a long hard grind, then stop reading right now and come back when you are humiliated and humbled enough to actually start grinding.
Now I want you to pick up a copy of Models. Read the whole thing. Thanksgiving is coming up, so I know you will have time. Especially the first part.
Did that book sink in? If not, go reread it again.
Now read your post above. Think about what you've read and look at how your neediness, entitlement, and bitter resentment is gushing throughout your post.
Next is fucking bootcamp. You need to rack up approaches and rejections like a junkie with a bad habit. You need to put in the sweat and blood and fear flirting is reflexive. This isn't a Q&A subreddit. This is a gym. We can help, but only if you put in the work. There are no shortcuts here.
Along the way, you need to build out yourself into somebody attractive. There are hundreds of posts about "Inner Game" here and Models talks about it extensively in the first part. This is how you become a better person. This is how you kill resentment and bitterness. This is how you become a better man.
And finally, so there are no surprises, this takes a long time and it takes effort. Hundreds of approaches. Hundreds of rejections. How fast or slow you progress is directly proportional to the effort and time you put in. Again, no shortcuts.
This will take months. It might take years. It's all up to you.
Now, are you going to start the grind, or will you continue to complain?
Friend, I mean this in the nicest way possible, I think your PUA training was pretty shitty. Reading your 5 approaches/openers...I don't see how any of them would work, esp here in my home city (NYC). Some of the stuff was straight up cringeworthy =(
What I would do differently (please take this w/ a grain of salt - it's just my own opinions):
And do drunk-I-Love-You-Lines work? It sounds weird to me. If a girl asked me that, I'd reply "no drunk I Love you's don't count, and I don't give 2 shits about your friend Nick/Steve/Jenny/Fuckface." I wouldn't use this as an opener, but maybe after a couple minutes of establishing your high value and her interest level in what you have to say. Why, you ask? Because it's really not that interesting of a question, and so far, you have given her 0 reasons to continue this conversation beyond "hello".
Finally, I would recommend this book for you (it's my pickup bible): http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
Oh man, man, man. I've encountered so many, but it still surprises me when I run across someone who's going through exactly the same thing I went through. We always feel so alone, right? I lost my virginity at age 27. And not just my virginity, she was the first girl I slept with, cuddled, made out with, my first girlfriend, the whole deal. I wanted a girlfriend since before I was 8 years old, but I had a lot of issues that got in the way. I won't bore you with the details.
I can't offer any comfort except to say that I know exactly how you feel. I still deal with envy sometimes even now. I'll throw out the books that really put me on the right path, just in case you're looking for something to read. The Gifts of Imperfection, No More Mr. Nice Guy, and Models. Models is the best how-to guide to dating I've read. The other two were necessary to get me to a place where I could put those lessons into practice. Take care of yourself. Sex might seem like a huge deal, but you are really doing fine. Everyone figures out different things at different times.
This is the purest and best way to go in my opinion. Not only will it make your romantic life better, it will make you better and more confident in all aspects of your life as well.
As for how to obtain it, I strongly recommend getting started with Mark Manson's book, "Models". It helped me through some tough times and built me up in a healthy way.
I used to be a nice guy, who thought I was screwed just by being a decent person. Last summer, I was a completely different person than I am now. I have changed tremendously.
Some of that was because I read a book from amazon called "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty". It's a great book, but it taught me that women aren't attracted to men who value someone else's opinions more than their own. Women are attracted to a man who knows what he wants.
I used to obsess over everyone's opinion of me. Everyone had to like me. Now, I do what makes me happy. That's all that matters to me. If I'm happy, then what else could I want. That said, I still get told frequently that I am always nice. Nice because I am polite to people who treat me with respect. You respect me, I respect you. That simple.
Nice guys maintain this delusion because they think if they show everyone how nice they can be, that will get everyone to like them. But no one will have respect for a man that doesn't respect himself just because a few people don't respect him.
You should start browsing r/seduction. It’s a sub fully dedicated to “picking up” women and basically getting dates and finding a girlfriend.
I’ll summarize what the sub will most likely tell you if you chose to ask the same question over there.
Your weight, your athleticism, your age, that doesn’t matter man, you know why? How many men approach women? 5-10% ?
You are going to be in that 5-10%. You are going to be in that small group of confident outgoing men where looks don’t matter, you’ll realize after reading the book and browsing the sub that confidence matters.
I'd recommend this article - you might not relate to all of it, but it still contains lots of great tips and perspectives: Nonmonogamy for Men: The Big Picture.
'Models' by Mark Manson is a great book with general dating tips for men interested in women. You might also want to get some help getting high quality photos taken for your online dating profiles, and get a few people to give you honest, constructive feedback so it's as appealing as possible.
It sounds like you're in a tough position because there are a lot of women in open/poly relationships whose husbands or boyfriends enforce OPPs (one penis policies) whether overtly or covertly. And a lot of couples open up because the wife is bisexual and specifically wants to date women rather than men.
Not to mention, like others have said, few women will want to be a permanent secondary. Women typically get lots of men (poly and mono) seeking relatively low-commitment relationships with them, so you need to ask yourself what do you have to offer that stands out from the crowd?
You are a Nice Guy. You are emotionally needy and you try to fulfill your needs by doing things for others, expecting tit for tat, having them give you attention because you did something for them. Life does not work that way and you will continue to experience frustration until you start doing things for yourself and gain confidence.
http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24/
And people are on OKCupid looking for dates. I have no idea if you're doing this to find dates or if you're just messaging people for the hell of it, but most people want to learn something about the person they're talking to when they exchange messages. What would I learn about you if you recommended a book or band to me? Pretty much nothing. It's not a good way to have a conversation.
Hey boss. I pretty much went though the same exact thing you did a couple years ago. Dated a girl for 3 years while in college, thought I was going to marry her, ect. She broke it off for various reasons, and I literally thought I was going to die. I had no real social circle, much less any good friends. She was my entire emotional support network for so long and I had no idea what to do when she left. To make matters worse, she began sleeping with other (random) people almost immediately. Talk about soul crushing. It was a dark time in my life.
But you know what? It forced me to grow. I now have a great job, an awesome circle of friends and another great girlfriend who I live with. Here are some things I realized on my journey post-breakup.
Basically all I can say it, you're gonna be alright eventually. You're doing the right thing by breaking off contact with her. Maybe eventually you guys can be friends, but focus on YOU for now. Hit the gym, and hit on some girls. In terms of getting back into the dating scene, the book Models by Mark Manson is amazing. Its not a scummy PUA (pick-up artist) book, but really teaches you how to find self worth in dating women. For your anxiety/depression, learning to meditate really helped me. This book is good for learning how.
Feel free to message me privately if you need any more help or clarification. I can also give some other book recommendations. Good luck!
Just talk to people. Put yourself out there. Be open to going out to parties, playing intramurals, etc.
I think you might also find this book helpful.
Closest "alternative" I can find is Models by Mark Manson.
Which I'd still say is like a sanitized version of TRP without the headgames.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005EOTH24?ie=UTF8&redirectFromSS=1&pc_redir=T1&noEncodingTag=1&fp=1
Could probably call this Purple Pill.
It sounds like you're getting rejected before you even get a chance to establish your intent.
This is a wholly different problem than getting rejected after stating/establishing intent. Hell, you getting rejected itself is the only part of your question that matters.
I think this takes a lot about figuring out your approach. Judging by your past posts, you're new to all this and need to really find your footing in regards to the dating world. There are several components to doing this. For starters, note that being her friend is a different endgame than being her romantic partner. They are, 99% of the time, mutually exclusive. Disney and romcoms have brainwashed you into believing they overlap, but they don't. Get that shit out of your head. Here are some other tips.
tips for smooth speech
talk with a deeper voice
proper posture
mensfashion subreddit
fitness subreddit
stronglifts 5x5 - for both routine and nutrition
headspace
meditation subreddit
"what to say" post
Models by Mark manson
the shit test encyclopedia
resources exist for all of these things - I've tried to link the relevant ones but reddit's linking system takes forever. There's more as you dive into every topic.
This covers the basics. I may just make this a post at this point, but this should give you more focus on building yourself into an attractive person. Good luck bro.
edits for formatting
Women can sense insecurity in men so amazingly well. Women aren't turned off by your acne, they're turned off by how you perceive your acne. If you perceive that girls will be turned off by your acne and never flirt with you then that is exactly what they will do. One thing I've noticed is that with my own skin, however I perceive people to react to it is exactly how they will.
Trust me myself and many friends have went through periods of severe acne. My best friend had over 30 zits on his face (we counted) at a party and still managed to get a girls number and ultimate hook up with her. Why? Because he embraced his acne and stopped letting it rule his life and emotions. Once I let this notion that acne is a bad thing go my life improved so much. Girls started paying attention to me and I was so much happier. My skin actually got worse because I started partying more because people started liking me more. I didn't give a shit. And now that I'm older and my skin has cleared up nothing has changed. My skin cleared up actually pretty rapidly. Did girls start noticing me more? Hell no. Nothing changed. Because acne in the physical form is nothing, but when you let it dictate your emotions you start the sad cycle I think you're in. You begin saying, "If only my skin were better I would have X,Y,Z." Or my favorite, "She rejected me because of my skin." I used to fucking say that. And then one day I realized something. Why the fuck would I ever want to be with a girl that rejected me on the fact I have bad skin.
Read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
Have you guys seen one of the main books they (the PUA community anyway) are reading now?
I'd be curious about how it comes across, since it's supposed to be about authenticity (ie: not lying to get laid)
Basically it's a lot of the pick up and seduction community distilled into it's core content.
Cut through all the gimmicks and "lines". Be honest with yourself of what you want in your life and go after it. Don't fear failure and don't sell yourself short. It's a very honest look at male-female attraction and I think it gives a lot of value beyond random encouragement that some books give.
I encourage people to buy it, as Mark has done some great work in the community and we should all support him for it. You can get it on Amazon here.
for girls/relationships, try models by mark manson. here's the amazon link with reviews here
The fear never really goes away. Even the most seasoned pick-up artist still gets nervous from time to time when approaching a girl or asking her out. The key is overcoming that anxiety, and the only way to do that is to have enough confidence to not care about the outcome.
A key part of overcoming rejection is realizing that, believe it or not, your rejection has almost nothing to do with you. I mean, there are certain things that you're in control of - hygiene, clothing, grooming, etc. But maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend and doesn't want a relationship with anybody. Maybe she's been single for a while and still doesn't want a relationship. Maybe she's trying to get back with an ex. Maybe she's crushing hard on someone and isn't interested in anyone else. Maybe the guy who hit on her before you came up did a bad job, pissed her off, and now she's taking it out on you. Maybe she just had a really shitty stressful day and only wanted to come out to the bar just to drink and dance, and doesn't want to deal with any guys hitting on her. Maybe you're just not her type. Maybe she's just batshit crazy and she's going to throw a drink in your face no matter how good your game is.
There are literally thousands of reasons why she shot you down. Most of them are totally outside your control. So why sweat it? All you've done is find out that this girl wasn't compatible with you...1 down, 3,499,999,999 to go. That's not a failure, it's a success. Start looking at it like that, and forget the mindset that her rejecting you is a poor reflection on you, because that's most likely not true.
I'm not sure what material you've read, but if you haven't read Models by Mark Manson (http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24), buy it today. It's a great self-help book for guys in your situation, but without all of sleazy tips and methods of a generic PUA manual. I can't recommend it enough.
EDIT: Rereading your post, I realize that I'm coming at this from the angle that you're worried about rejection from strangers, when it may have more to do with being rejected by girls you're already friends with. I would say that most of this still applies in either situation though.
Check out this book: Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
I'm just like you. This book helped me a lot. If you don't want to spend money yet, you can always check out the author's blog. Or you can check out his old dating advice blogs with the wayback machine. There's more advice than anyone needs there, and it doesn't suck.
It's not about being nice or a asshole. Honestly goes a long way.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
Highly suggest reading the first few chapters of this book. It's exactly what you're looking for. Explains how investment works in dating. Staying honest and not being needy, why they are important. I got a really good perspective from reading this and I'm much more confident dating now.
Pros colegas eu sempre indico um livro chamado Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, eu nem terminei de ler e posso dizer que transformou a minha vida nesse aspecto.
It's because you desire to have someone special in your world. This is what I think. And of course, not being in any relationships for a long time might mean you're rusty in approaching among other things.
This was a skill that was never taught to me and I started learning it this year. Quite fascinating. This isn't the stereotypical pick-up artistry per se, but rather the skill of courting and socializing. Like any other skill, it needs to be learned and practised.
I highly recommend reading this book: Models by Mark Manson.
You'll learn a lot. -
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005EOTH24
A good follow up:
Models by Mark Manson
If you are thinking about dating her, find someone else. Seriously. I don't believe in the "friendzone" but she clearly isn't interested, and you having a 2 year "crush" on her is a much higher investment that she has in you, and it will creep her out if you ask her out on a date.
However, on the plus side, the fact that you realise that you need help with social skills puts you ahead of a lot of other awkward highschoolers who may end up being frustrated with the world while at the same time refusing to change their ways.
Look into this book, its a great book on relationships and how to change yourself to be attractive, without the manipulative and fake "techinque" crap that a lot of relationship books are about: http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24/ref=tmm_kin_title_0/181-1534583-8031765
Also, browse /r/seduction, be more of a filter than a sponge because there is a lot of bullshit in there. Don't buy into their evopsych, because most of the reasons why girls act some ways while guys act some other way is not because of evolution but because of culture.
Also, browse /r/mansformation. Its an excellent sub on changing your values and improving your "inner game" to become both more attractive and, in my opinion, a more likeable person.
Wikiquote lists it as misattributed:
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Tenzin_Gyatso,_14th_Dalai_Lama#.22What_surprises_you_most_about_humanity.3F.22
The problem is simple: The Dalai Lama didn't say this and it really doesn't sound like someone he would say, if you have people believe this is what the Dalai Lama said, they will probably feel moved and inspired by it just because of the name dropping and I fear it really isn't a very healthy thing to believe.
Go and ask in /r/buddhism if you are interested in the truth. So let me insist, refrain from attributing this quote to the Dalai Lama and stop the advance of ignorance about which the Dalai Lama did say:
I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance.
Also, please tell me this is not the book you got it from: Models: How to Attract Women... by Mark Manson
O livro Models (https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24) fala um pouco sobre isso. Recomendo.
I’m a big fan of Models by Mark Manson (not Stoic) and the biggest lesson for me was that I am responsible for my dating life.
I don’t like socializing much either. But I knew if I’d like to meet people I’d have to be willing to be uncomfortable by being social more often than I’d like to.
I’ve figured out my “demographics”. I’ve realized it would be pretty much a man who shows the attractive behaviors described in Models, with similar values than mine (growth for one).
While realizing that was ultimately beneficial, it made me face some challenges and put my beliefs to test.
For example:
I’m working on myself, doing what’s in my control to be attractive (without letting it take away my tranquility), checking what can be improved.
Reflecting on what’s important to me (in life and in men) and going through the aforementioned also helped me realized that dating/having someone in my life would be nice but it’s not my priority, specially right now. I’d rather focus on my Stoicism studies and practice, and that’s what I’m doing.
The best I can do is exercise patience and do my best without adding worry and anxiety to the mix. (isn’t that what patience is anyway?)
Here you go.
https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521056053&sr=8-1&keywords=models+mark+manson
If you are serious about changing yourself for the better read models by mark manson. It's labeled as a book about attracting woman but really its mostly focused on how you can improve your own life. He defines clinginess as caring more about what other people think about you than what you think about yourself. The best way to get over being clingy is to invest in yourself. It's a really good book to get some perspective and I highly recommend it.
> I did stumble across some PUA material that gave me hope to actually approaching a woman and having a flirty conversation.
Hey man if you don't feel comfortable with dating and looking for some ideas on how to approach it healthily, I definitely suggest Models by Mark Manson. It's a gem and it really helped me a lot and it is clear of all that PUA, TRP etc. bullshit. The problem with PUA/TRP mindset is that it reinforces the belief that one has to be manipulative and Machiavellian to get women to be dependent on you. And you will only attract psychologically problematic women with those approaches, a healthy and sane woman will see through bullshit from miles away. You can still be attractive and step up your game and radiate a masculine alpha-like energy without those approaches by just being comfortable with being vulnerable, using your body/verbal language effectively to give the right signals and knowing how to do grooming and knowing how to dress best according to your body. Hope it helps and best of luck to you.
This is a great book on the topic: http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
I know people around here don't really like "pickup artists" but this book is very different from the stereotype. It's been a while since I read it, but the basic gist is that you should approach women in public in a very non-threatening, non-sexual, friendly way, just to have a small-talk type conversation about something silly like their computer or the book they're reading. You'd approach women the same way you'd approach a 60 year old man at a coffeeshop. If they're interested in continuing the conversation then you can go from there. If they're not interested, no big deal, the only thing that happened is that a stranger did not want to do small-talk with you.
It sounds really simple and it is, but I think the book is still worth reading because it expands on the ideas and helps instill the right mentality for doing this kind of approach.
I've read his book and even if he isn't INTJ, the way he writes really makes sense to me. He's probably one of my favorite writers regarding dating and social skills. It feels like everyone else focuses on gimmics, while he takes what I'd consider a more "realistic" approach.
I don't have any hard evidence, but having been in men's groups for the last two plus years I know that I personally get a ton out of being vulnerable with people. It's change my life.
And if you're into PUA you may want to read Mark Manson's Models, where he argues vulnerability is one of the most important things men can do to land a mate.
http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
Book
https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
Read it, think about it, apply it.
Models
First step is accepting your situation in life. Good job.
Good luck.
This is a great motivational letter. For more in depth tutorial on how to start I recommend Models by Mark Manson. This book literally saved my life. I changed from a shy retard who couldn't talk to girls, to a confident guy who can strike up a conversation with anyone and not be disappointed if it doesn't lead anywhere. /u/LordDurand
Dude I've been in your shoes before and in the same mind space. In my experience, obsessing about her and all the what-ifs is going to hurt the relationship in the long run. Even if she's the one who is initiating things. I'm sorry if this next part comes across as disrespectful as I don't mean it that way, but the naive impression I get about you from this post is that you are feeling insecure right now and are in need of validation. Whether that's true or not or even relevant to your situation, I don't know, but I do know that when I've been feeling the same way while trying to date somebody, I end up doing some stupid crap that kills the relationship. It's not a healthy mindset to be in while trying to grow a relationship.
If I'm wrong, just ignore me dude. If I've hit on something, read on. I don't feel comfortable giving any specific dating advice aside from attracting women and building healthy relationships with them is a skill set. And if you don't want to find yourself in this situation again, you are probably going to need to increase your skill set.
I ran across a book a few months back that really helped standardize the way I think about dating, and frankly, casual dating has become semi-enjoyable for the first time in my life. It's called Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson and you could be a blind eunuch and become a better person after going through this book.
I hope this helps you out, and if not, hopefully, it helps someone else who stumbles through this comment thread.
Models by Mark Manson. Read this please, and stop with the pity party.
This book really helped me when I was looking for some advice in the same space.
Yeah there is https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
And it's quite old so it has been tested by time. It's evergreen and it came from someone who despises tactics, tricks and other malicious approaches.
Although there are definitely guys on there who know what they're talking about, TRP on Reddit is a specific and odd bird that doesn't even totally mesh with the sites they draw from.
https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
https://youtu.be/bccEPf0m2SY
Keep in mind that the latter link is from Owen Cook who runs RSD, far and away the PUA industry leader for around 10 years now. All TRP and PUA is derived from what he came up with, as he invented the idea of teaching natural game. Just listen to the first 5 or so minutes.
PART 2/2 - FINAL
​
Finally,
Why Women Have Sex
>In their ground-breaking book, clinical psychologist Cindy Meston and evolutionary psychologist David Buss investigate the underlying sexual desires of women and identify 237 distinct motivations for sex.
​
Citing this research, Mark Manson explains this phenomena in his book Models:
>A vivid experience drove this unpredictability home for me a few years ago. I was in a club in Boston approaching a number of women. At the beginning of the night I approached a group of girls who were not very impressed by me. So I stepped up my jokes to try to elicit more of an emotional response out of them. It worked. One of them looked me dead in the eye and said, “You are the creepiest guy in here. Give it up.”
>
>Ouch.
>
>Not an hour later I was talking to another group of girls in another part of the club. They were enrapt by some story I was telling, laughing at my jokes, beaming smiles. One of the girls took me by the arm and said, “You are the hottest guy, you know you could have any girl in here, right?”
>
>Same club. Same night. Same guy. Same sense of humor. Same stories. And chances are, similar girls. Completely opposite responses.
...
>The first difficulty in understanding female sexual attraction is that women can become attracted and aroused both physically and/or psychologically. This split between physical and psychological arousal is unique to women as men are sexually aroused and stimulated primarily physically. This split in sources of arousal makes it hard to perform controlled experiments and therefore test different factors that may influence how a woman feels.
>
>For instance, you may be able to show 200 women pictures of big burly men and ask them how attracted they are to them. But you aren’t able to control their predisposed belief about physically powerful men, the extent of their desire to be dominated, the sexual mores in which they were raised, their sexual histories with burly men, their emotional states at that very moment, their ovulation cycles, when the last time they had sex was, whether they just had a fight with their boyfriend, etc. And even if you were able to control such things, they’re so fluid and subjective that you can’t measure them.
...
>In one experiment, a researcher measured bio-readings of blood flow in women’s vaginas as they watched various film clips. During the film clips, the women were asked to indicate how sexually aroused they were by the clip. Not only did the bio-readings return no discernible patterns of arousal across the film clips (everything from conventional porn, to kink films, to male-on-male homosexual sex, to innocuous nature clips to films of chimpanzees mating), but also the women themselves were often oblivious to their own arousal levels. For example, straight women often completely misjudged their arousal by homosexual sex, and homosexual women were unaware of their arousal by straight sex. And that’s not even to mention the chimps mating.
The primary researcher (a woman) entered the experiment hoping to draw conclusions about what women prefer sexually. Not only did she come to no conclusions, but she lamented in the paper that the experiment only created more questions about female sexuality than it began with.
​
> You wrote: IRL I see guys with the personality of a wet bag get plenty of pussy just from their face alone.
So really, this is just your anecdotes of attractive guys getting laid versus my anecdotes of attractive guys not getting laid. There are also non (physically) attractive guys who get laid. A lot of varied experiences for varied people with varied tastes and preferences in short.
​
>You wrote: Looks matter for a man, but as the above studies show, it's to a lesser degree.
As a man, I can tell you that looks certainly matter for me. Most of the male friends I've had in the past would have been very quick to agree also. They probably matter to you also.
This seems to have a lot of upvotes so i'll just chime in.
For people with women problems, specially the introvert/anxious guy, this book really helped, and what you wrote is pretty much exactly one of the central points in the book. (he goes into a bunch of other things aswell)
Models
Yeah, it's definitely a YMMV thing.
I think a lot of the struggle is that there's a representation issue; we really only see the guys who are succeeding, so if they don't look like us it's easy to feel dissonance. I'd bet that if you looked at the experiences of white men at a larger level (or hell, even just browse some posts on reddit), you'd find that dating being hard as fuck is the normal experience.
As far as operationalizing that understanding into success, I think one has to reevaluate their approach to dating. Approaching random women in clubs is hard - and if you're black and fit "that" stereotype you're less likely to get a positive reaction than white dudes who don't (and still get complained about by women). Who are you trying to get with? Is the "you" you're presenting something that that demographic will find appealing? I've always liked girls who have a good sense of fashion, but it wasn't until I started paying more attention to what I wore that they'd give me the time of day. In the same way, knowing that a lot of white people still have (at the least) unconscious biases against black men, making sure that you don't come off as intimidating initially is really important. I grew up in a town with tons of educated people and as a result don't "sound" black. While that leads to stupid situations occasionally where I get told that I'm "articulate," it also means that the women I'm interested in feel more comfortable around me because I'm well-spoken and can communicate with them on a level they can appreciate.
Which isn't all to say that you need to change who you are in order to find success, but rather that the stereotypical strategy of casting a wide net is both inelegant and won't lead to much success if you're black. Instead focus on what you want and what the people you're interested in want; it takes much less energy for immensely better results.
Also, read Models by Mark Manson. It's a quick read and the PDF is floating around online, but it's honestly worth the buy. Book's a game changer.
Only people who have no clue who they truly are ask these sorts of questions, so now's the perfect time to find yourself. To be able to answer those lame questions people ask you. What did you do over the weekend? What kind of work do you want to get into? What are you hobbies? You get the picture. If you're slightly interested in snowboarding, buy a day pass. If you kind of like taking pictures, buy a used camera. If you've always enjoyed rock and roll, sell your soul. Learn to be passionate about something, anything. Girls have nothing to do with how you define yourself.
After my college relationship ended I made the mistake of dating people. I said the exact same thing as you: I have so much freedom! Dating is not as fun as you think. It's time consuming and it just doesn't work in my age group (I was 20).
> I do have a bit of apprehension over whether or not I missed something during a "critical period" in my life.
You probably did and you then again you probably didn't. Who knows? Maybe the "critical period" in your life is right now. Trying to relive the college days you lost is delusional; you can't go back in time. So bring yourself back into the present and start living!
That said, I can't stop you from doing anything so if you really want to go into dating I'd start with this book.
Also these helped me, maybe they'll help you.
/r/seduction
/r/Fitness
/r/GetMotivated
/r/getdisciplined
Live by the rule of "FUCK YES!"
When presented with the opportunity to hang out with her (or him), if your reaction isn't FUCK YES! then you're realistically not into them enough to warrant even continuing getting to know them. There has to be that mix of physical attraction and mutual interest and if it's not up to par, you're just wasting each others' time.
This book talks about the "FUCK YES!" mode of thinking:
https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
I'd actually recommend taking a break from girls. You need to work on yourself. If you can't love yourself, how could you possibly expect anyone else to love you?
If you are telling yourself that you aren't looking for love, and that you just want to hookup, it just doesn't work like that. I guarantee that if you got laid tonight by a 10/10 chick, you would feel even worse than you do right now because absolutely nothing will change and you will hate yourself for it.
I seriously recommend reading Models and just focusing on you for a while. There is no rush, devote a few months to being the best you that you can be, and after a while the best girls will just seem to start coming to you.
I'm not saying to make this your bible, but just follow the broad outline, ignore what doesn't vibe with you and get some positive affirmations.
Also, if you don't want to be an indoor kid, then go outside. I redefined my home a while back, it's a place where I rest and keep my stuff. It's a great mindset to have.
I had the same problem for a decade or more. "Steering" discussion can be tricky. At the same time, much to my surprise, it turned out that being direct helps. Just:
"Can I tell you something controversial? [if yes] As you may have noticed, I have a crush on you."
Or something in that line. Almost always response was nice, either a polite decline (still, often taking it as a compliment; and well, it saves a lot of time & nerve in the future) or telling me that they feel similar.
(Some things in this spirit are in Models: Attract Women Through Honesty.)
Huh? Sounds like It's really your own past that you're having a problem with.
Specifically, you like to deal with stress, by indulging in irrational feelings of personal inadequacy, self-loathing, and fantasies about abandonment.
Cut that out. There is nothing less worth your time than self-loathing and self-pity. Scratching your ass is literally a better use of your time.
Read "Models" by Mark Manson.
The next time you feel bad about yourself or feel ashamed, go do something else instead. Anything else.
Your girlfriend's dating history isn't some kind of "problem" that needs to be solved.
Fix how you feel about yourself instead.
Be almost unreasonably self-confident.
You can stop worrying about some other random dude-bros your girlfriend has dated, because you're better than they are. Seriously. They fucked up, you didn't (but you will if you keep jumping on the self-pity wagon whenever difficulty happens.)
> but she used to tell me about the stuff they did together and where they did it.
Dude, your girlfriend is literally telling you things she liked.
Grab your testicles and make that crap happen. Stop whining and wringing your hands about how insecure it makes you. Take actions.
Tell your girlfriend exactly what you plan to do to her that evening.
>This should not bother me
Either it bothers you or it doesn't. You have a right to feel bothered by any given subject. Nothing "should" do anything. Just a suggestion here, I'd recommend you remove the word "should" from your vocabulary. 90% using this word amounts to whining.
There is a book that can help you: Mark Manson - Models
What struck me the most about it is how methodology he presents in the book is similar in parts to Noble Eightfold Path:
>1. Honest Action -> Right Action
>2. Honest Communication -> Right Speech
>3. Honest Living -> Right Livelihood
He also talks a lot about being vulnerable which is really, in my opinion, being outcome independent and not having attachments to what people think of you.
You may think about vulnerability this way: if you are a truthful person who goes his own way, and has no things to hide, open to the world - you are showing vulnerability (but not weakness). Vulnerability and confidence are two sides of the same coin.
Read mark manson's Models
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005EOTH24
Start by reading this.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson
Models by Mark Manson
Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Practical Guide for Improving Communication by John Gray
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
I'd recommend checking out Mark Manson's website. There's some great stuff there for subscribers.
The top review on this book goes through step-by-step what it's about:
"The parts that resonated with me:
[...]
What to EXPECT:
I'm not the guy you're replying to, but I can heartily recommend Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. It really focuses more on "inner game"* over "tricks" or routines to memorize. While the Mystery Method may have given you routines to fool women into thinking you're an attractive man with a good life, this book focuses on actually making youself an attractive man with a good life.
I haven't gotten all the way through the book yet (let alone actually applying any of the concepts), but I think it condenses a lot of the thinking in most of the latest PUA models in a pretty short book that, at the very least, gives you a jumping off point to start with it.
Magic Bullets and Love Systems' Routine Manuals are decent too if you are looking for actual material to talk to women with until you get more comfortable with actually talking to women without having scripts to go by.
Before you do anything, I recommend you read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
This should get you started:
Models by Mark Manson: Main takeaway from Manson's book is to be vulnerable, be honest. There are other recommended books on this page, don't touch those. Vulnerability is good for coworkers, women you're attracted to/seeing, your family. Overall good, practical read.
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey: General self-help. Even if you don't put any of the systems into place, it gives you a sense of betterment. Fake it until you make it is no joke. At least feeling like you're getting more control in one area of your life can benefit all your other areas.
Power Cues by Nick Morgan: A great book to get you started on posture, voice, finding what to improve on. I recommend this book a lot.
Three books are good for now. If you want something in-depth, or more difficult, maybe even a step-by-step, feel free to PM me. The books I suggested will definitely get you on your way to feeling better, presenting yourself more comfortably and confidently, and also gives you ideas on what to practice and improve on.
Not a lady myself but saw this post randomly.
Get him a copy of this book as a gift. As good a guide to attracting women as I've ever seen. All the advice applies both whether he's looking for sex or for meaningful long-lasting relationships.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005EOTH24/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Generic advice here, but this book might be interesting as a source of info on what's attractive and what's not:
http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
He's a pretty good looking guy though.
Just to give some more context, let me list out what I've tried so far:
Anything else I should try?
I'm in the same boat as you! I live in a very vegan friendly city(Austin), which helps, but isn't a cure-all. I think you'd be happier and find more like minded people in one of these cities Top 10 vegan cities in US 2016
As far as dating advice, I recommend Models by Mark Manson. The main takeaways are
Models
How to be a 3% man
And if you want the best, The System
http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
I also recommend his blog and recently published book.
This book
You absolutely don't need to play any sort of "games"! Just the ability to have good conversation, be confident, funny, and flirt (pushing/pulling). Emotional intuition is more important than anything else. I'm pretty sure you're already 95% there, and you just need more practice dating the everyday-woman.
There are some good guides out there. I find Mark Manson's book, Models: Attract Women Through Honesty very good. It's not a pickup book as much as a mindset book and several people I know have found it pretty useful. (https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24). You can read it in a day.
-I just think that since you have your requirements for a partner in mind, you have to be the first to start the dating process. And you'll have to face rejection in the process, which is scary, but well worth it. Also try apps like Coffee Meets Bagel! I've never tried it, but some of my friends met their significant others on there.
I've had a lot of luck with online dating but you can, too, just gotta play to your strengths.
You say you're not an attractive guy, why is that? Having a good looking mug isn't all of attraction.
Because if you were a naturally handsome guy, but didn't shave, didn't have a nice haircut / hair health, had no style no confidence, didn't work out, etc, you wouldn't be attractive then.
So I would say, friend, invest in yourself for awhile. Online dating is like a resume. Play to your strengths. If you don't feel confident, work on yourself a bit. Start working out, eating healthy, work on your fashion, your diet, your hair, your beard / shaved face, start using lotion ,etc. Build yourself up to be attractive first.
Because attraction isn't necessarily just about genetics, friend.
Places to meet single women, you could just start joining social groups, going to the bar helps, start joining a single meetup on meetup.com maybe. Or at local concerts, etc. Just start doing activities and you'll meet folk. A great book to read on this is Models by Mark Manson.
Owned
Personal/family/divorce past: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4lew12/postdivorce_perspective_part_2/ . Owned and CLOSED. There will be no more discussion of some of my personal topics never ever.
Me as ACA / listening to my instincts. OWNED. There were some people in my life that I did not trust at all. They're out.
Health/fitness: gym - owned. Sugar addiction - owned, I overate and ate sugar in the past days, I created a journal to keep track on this, I realized at the gym that the sugar really makes me way weaker than I was, I realized that I feel "down" after eating sugar. Rationalization - why not, but rationalizations work too sometimes (like Allen Carr's book on smoking).
Family (divorced) and my sick narcissistic head: owned - I did not went into any conflicts this week, not that I did not want to. Plans for the next week - owned too.
Money: started selling electronics, thinking about starting some projects with "work B" for extra monies, I feel like I'm getting there.
Flat: clean, but there are still things to sort out. Flat is owned, because I keep it tidy. Still needs organizing though.
Me as PUA: finished this one https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Female-Psychology-Man-ebook/dp/B00RR6RNO6 , started this one: https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24 . Told FWB that I am not planning to be exclusive, brought some drama, but as a result I felt GREAT because perhaps for the first time in my life I was absolutely honest with the woman and with myself. Asked out a girl that I really liked - perhaps for the first time in my life too I'm going after my instincts, my heart, if a specific woman is what I want, I should open her, I SHOULD LET THE FUCKING ADVENTURE OF LIFE HAPPEN and stop being all the time in control and in fear.
Not owned
Money: my income should be bigger.
Body fat: should be lower.
There are specific red things on my MAP, that I added this week, but I'm not going into details, I'd rather save some time to get them done.
Thanks, MRP.
OP, I don't know you, but I know you deserve better than this girl. She's isn't as awesome as you think she is. She might get her shit together someday, but she is not where you need her to be right now. Don't start relationships with people and expect them to change. That never works out.
As for advice, I recommend reading "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty." This book will tell you everything you need to know about courting women.
Here's a link:
http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24/ref=sr_sp-atf_title_1_1
I'd just read Models by Mark Manson. They worship him anyways and he's one of the few not-completely-batshit-weird guys who caters to the male dating advice audience. the rest of the stuff on the subreddit is pretty much a circlejerk (WOW THIS STUFF TOTALLY WORKS I BECAME A PLAYER IN 7 DAYS!!) mixed with cringyness
p.s. nice job, are you planning on cutting further?
> Does it help to be straight forward (but not too straight forward) that you want sex with someone?
The goal is to want her to feel that you would like to have sex with her, but you dont need to have sex with her.
> How do you compliment a girls looks or physique in a seductive way without being creepy?
Stick with complimenting her style. Complimenting on the things she clearly put effort into doing is much more meaningful than complimenting her on something she was born with and can not control. The key to compliments is having reason why you like what you see, and letting her know that reason. "I like [this] about you because [reason]".
> What do women really think when a guy buys them a drink?
If she likes you, she probably thinks its a means to spend more time doing something together. If she doesn't like you, she probably just wants a free drink.
> Do they like it when you mention that you have a lot of sexual experience?
no.
> Is it easier to seduce women in a loud bumpin' club or a quiet cocktail lounge?
Yes.
> What shows confidence through looks?
If you confident in yourself, you believe everything about you matters. If everything about you matters, everything about how you look matters. If you matter most, how would you look?
> Should money be brought in the situation?
No
> Do girls always go for men with lots of money?
No
> It would be nice to also get some tips on things I haven't asked too.
Judging by these questions, you seem to be a little misguided. Don't fret, that's why this sub is here. Many people in the pickup community started down this road after they read (the now grossly outdated) Neil Strauss' "The game". My personal advice is to start with more foundational inner-game concepts about seduction, and then move on to the more applicable outter-game techniques later. Foundational concepts to pickup are rooted in evolutionary bio/psych. I would recommend reading Mark Manson's Models. Trust me, I wouldn't recommend Models if it wasn't worth the time and money. These concepts could change your entire prospective on how social interactions really work, and sometimes thats all you need.
Avoid the typical mysognistic manipulative PUA crap.
Here's a good book that avoids that sort of stuff: Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
Happens. And yeah it hurts. And sometimes for an absurd amount of time. I hope that getting it off you chest is worth it to you. I know it’s always been to me.
If you’re interested Mark Manson wrote a book called ‘Models’ it talks about dating relationships with honesty at their core.
He’s also got a blog that’s worth checking out as half of all the written pieces are free.
https://markmanson.net
https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
Best of luck.
> With women all I can do is be the best me and let them decide
Not how it works. They don't pick a guy based on who is 'the best'. You don't wait for them to decide based on who you are. They don't know who you are, they know what they see of you, and they won't see much of you if you don't learn the right ways to show them.
Flirtation and dating are skills, a very specific subset of communication skills/social skills which work differently than other communication and social skills. If you don't get good at those, you could be the 'best' guy in the world and you still wouldn't have success.
Having muscles and a good job are a great start! Next work on your communication, flirting and dating skills. Here's a book.
Speaking of a limit, there is none. Women love me.
Here, I'll let you in on something.
http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
There's no such thing as "too tall", "too short", or whatever kind of fantasy you can come up with. It's all YOU.
Buy and read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
Also, there is still ultimately a huge luck factor when it comes to meeting people (or really anything in life). Genuinely very attractive and "what a catch" people sometimes don't find love until much later in life than they would have liked, and sometimes pretty unattractive and crappy people somehow go from relationship to relationship to relationship. It's so hard to not take it personally, but really try not to. It does not mean there is something wrong with you, or you are destined to be alone.
That said, you can help "make your own luck" by simply introducing yourself to more people, not being afraid of rejection, and putting yourself in a greater variety of social situations. I seriously recommend reading that book; I cannot summarize it and do it justice.
Want to be authentic with people and women?
Then I would suggest Mark Manson's book: Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
Book by Mark Manson. It really is an incredible book.
Get in shape. Cultivate some status. Old guys can have status that young guys simple can't....and women are fundamentally attracted to status. Go get you some boobies. You got this.