Reddit mentions of Perixx Perimice-517 Wired Trackball USB Mouse, 7 Button Design, Build-in 1.34 Inch Trackball with Pointing Feature

They didn't make the wired version at the time. I can find it now on Amazon. Collectors are selling them for $399.99. That is not a typo.

Here's a generic one for $24.99. Also not a typo. ;)

Weird coworkers... sure, I'm almost 40, given time I could probably come up with a few other gems. I just thought of the lady with the Vietnamese snake wine because it was so odd and at the same place.

Yeah, a couple years later, I was doing a security job — jobs were kinda scarce right after 9/11, even though we weren't in a high risk area. Big companies were shipping jobs overseas, afraid of doing business in America, even in low risk areas. Anyway, I worked with this cheerful idiot of a man child (not that I wasn't one myself) and he once confided in me that he went to the interview stoned out of his gourd. To a security job. As if he didn't know security companies were staffed by retired cops. Or guys who couldn't make it as cops. So he gets there, high as a motherfucker, and they go to do a swab. He tells them his mouth is dry and asks if he could please get some water. They let him. He goes into the break room, and they have a water dispenser. He pours a cup of the hot, near boiling water, and he chugs it, burning the shit out of his throat. He gargles it. He takes the swab test and passes. If you think this is bullshit, I'm right there with you. He told me this story. I have no way of verifying it. He didn't last long, and when he left, he was fired, and the supervisors wouldn't say word one about it. I bet they caught him with weed. Security guards get dropped in on by their supervisors all the time. You're working a site, it's just you, plenty of opportunity to do drugs (or pot; I know, pot isn't a drug, the Good Lord wouldn't have made it if the Good Lord didn't expect us to smoke it, etc., etc.) but also, surprise visits are a thing.

Anyway, I'd relieve him after an 8 hour shift, and he would not leave. We'd get to talking, and I was on shift, I couldn't leave. And he'd stay for an hour. One hour turned into two, two into three. Longest he ever stayed was 5 hours, unpaid, into my shift. If anyone asked, I was training him. No one ever did, that was just the cover we agreed to. Supervisor dropped in, he forgot something and was just going (and would). Anyway, I started doing the same as we became friends, but I never stayed more than an hour, and most of the time he'd stay one or two hours, too. What was so special about this guy was, he would not shut up about a show called Babylon 5. Maybe you've heard of it. What he didn't tell me, that I think is so interesting, is that it was one of the first TV shows to air in 16:9. It would either have the letterboxing (bars on top and bottom) on the old 4:3 TVs, or they'd just cut the sides off (pan and scan). It was a challenge back then. TV stations didn't like it. Anyway, he actually told me, one day, the entire story of the show, leaving out very little details. And it sounded awesome. I meant to watch it, but didn't, for years. And then one day I got a great deal on the DVD box set at a yard sale. I thought, has to be fate. I think I paid like $20. Wife wasn't interested, so I watched it on my own. And I loved it. Wife agreed to watch it with me, so I watched it a second time with her.

Sorry, that was a long story, and that guy wasn't that weird, except for how he passed the drug test. Supposedly. But I mean, he didn't smoke around me, he wasn't trying to sell me pot, he wasn't trying to sound cool, so I kinda believe him, though what I choose to believe is, one, he probably cut the hot water with cold so it wasn't at 185 or whatever those hot taps put out, because I think that would have caused permanent damage. And two, either he didn't smoke that much that morning or, I don't know. Either the swab test was weak or faulty, or maybe it showed pot but no other substances and they passed him anyway. I don't think his story was 100% truthful, in any case.

They definitely exist (you want to search for "mouse retractable cord," or something along those lines -- Amazon, for example), but you probably unfortunately won't be able to find a high end/name brand mouse with that feature.

Edit: Worth mentioning, since I'm extremely anal about mice as well: if your issue with wires is annoyance WRT them getting caught on stuff, the cable being too short/tight, etc., you might consider a trackball mouse. This one has a wire. With your thumb on the trackball, there's no motion of the mouse body itself required to move the cursor, which totally eliminates cord snag issues.

I personally use the MX Ergo. It's wireless, but I was able to fix issues with shoddy wireless signal by giving the dongle a long USB extender and putting it far away from any noise sources.