Reddit mentions of Playing Fair: A Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men into Women (Thorntree Fundamentals)

While I disagree that mono-poly relationships are never compatible, some work really well, it doesn't sound like it will work for you.

Here are some resources if you want to investigate more:

Poly Resources

A Guide To Hunting Unicorns: By A Unicorn
https://fetlife.com/groups/107/group_posts/1775830

https://www.unicorns-r-us.com

couples privilege
https://tacit.livejournal.com/578925.html

10 rules for good Polyamory
https://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2007/06/10/10-realistic-rules-for-good-non-monogamous-relationships/

The Polyamorist Next Door
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door

https://greatist.com/live/learn-your-monogamy-style

If you're a straight man this book is supposed to be decent:
Playing Fair: A Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men into Women (Thorntree Fundamentals) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1944934383/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_EDXDCb95FBK5K


Podcasts:
Poly Weekly
http://polyweekly.com/

Multiamory
https://www.multiamory.com/

Erotic Awakening: (kink and poly podcast)
http://www.eroticawakening.com/

Loving without Boundaries
http://lovingwithoutboundaries.com/podcast/

events list:
https://polyevents.blogspot.com/2014/08/upcoming-events.html?m=1

Since your partner is a straight male, you should both check out this blog post and this book about nonmonogamy for men who are into women.

You should also both be aware that some of your rules are going to make it extremely difficult for him to find additional partners, especially the prohibition on partners coming to your apartment and the financial restrictions. Those will likely be deal-breakers for many polyamorous women, who want at least the option to go on a vacation with a partner or go to his place (which would preferably be his own place, and not the apartment he shares with you, but I guess you two maintaining separate living quarters is out of the question). Also, are other men allowed to spend money on you, buy you expensive gifts, or go on vacation with you? If so, you may want to re-examine why you're ok with this double-standard, and if your partner is.

I see that you edited your initial post and removed the part where you said "our relationship comes first." However, if you still believe that inside, be aware that that will also limit your partner's chances of finding someone. Many polyamorous women won't settle for such a clear hierarchical demarcation. Read up on "couple privilege" and try to move away from that line of thinking. Your partners' other partners are people, too, and you need to fully accept that his relationships with them are as serious and important as your relationship with him.

Finally, if your partner actually used the word "cuck" then he needs to drastically change his way of thinking about women, relationships, and the world in general, before trying to date.

You need to stop looking at it from her angle. Of course she’s going to have more dates than you. That’s just how things are but while you rarely get matches she has to sift through hundreds of people before she finds someone that’s she thinks is cool enough to go out with.

She’s going to have more physical intimacy with her other partners. I think that if you give it time you’re going to have regular partners that you hookup with.

Being a straight male things are different. If you’re really serious about non-monogamy check out: Playing Fair: A Guide to Non-monogamy for Men Into Women by Pepper Mint

Check this one out. I think it might be interesting:

https://www.amazon.com/Playing-Fair-Nonmonogamy-Thorntree-Fundamentals/dp/1944934383