Reddit mentions of RSMeans Building Construction Cost Data 2016

It is super pricey and maybe a cliche answer to the question, because you are almost certainly aware of it, but the AIA's Architectural Graphics Standards is really an amazing document for getting a handle on industry standards.

My RS Means subscription is all digital now, so I don't know how the paper copies work anymore, but this is a really useful tool for not only understanding the cost of elements and how it bears on decision making, but also just seeing what building types and details are common. Again, this is sort of expensive.

In terms of codes, I use ASHRAE 90.1 a lot. The ICC codes are available. They form the underlying basis of a lot of municipal code now.

Don't be afraid to rely on industry specific sources, either. A lot of times the Precast Concrete Institute or whomever will publish standard details, span tables, specs, etc. for free, in hopes that architects will choose their system.

I don't know if any of that is helpful or not. Good luck!