Reddit mentions of SABRE Flip Top Pepper Gel w/ Key Ring – Gel is Safer – Maximum Police Strength Pepper Spray Delivered in Gel Stream, Easier to Use Flip Top Design w/ Finger Grip for More Accurate Aim, 12’ (4m) Range, One Size, Multi (PGSP-01)

Sabre sells a pocket sized gel mace that comes with a training cartridge. I highly recommend it. I also have their big fuck-off hand sprayer for home defense. I like mace as a proportional response for all the reasons you mentioned, plus a lower incidence of mortality on employment than electrical methods. More less lethal?

I always have one of these on my keychain in my back left pocket. Comes out quick with my off hand and leaves my dominant hand free for whatever follow up is necessary.

Edit: Thanks to the training cartridge, I know for sure that accurate one-handed off-hand employment is possible. Not awesome, but possible.

https://smile.amazon.com/SABRE-Red-Pepper-Gel-Kit/dp/B01AT3LMP4/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1538618159&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=sabre+pepper+spray

Getting a gun is going to take some time and will be a large commitment on your part, both from a cost, time and responsibility stand point (i.e. are you prepared to deal with the potential legal repercussions of needing to use your gun in self defense?)

In the meantime while you try to find the right place to train with and eventually buy a pistol I would suggest you buy some pepper spray because you can get it right now and start carrying it immediately. Almost any name brand will work but I always recommend this:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01AT3LMP4/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Because it comes with a blue inert training canister that will let you practice your aim and get an idea for how much spray is in there and how far the spray will go and arc without the risk of getting pepper spray in your face.

It will also give you an idea how you feel about carrying something extra with you; if this canister is too bulky for you then bad news a gun is even bigger and heavier.

Amazon is helpful here. I would advise getting two things: a reliable, bright flashlight, and strong pepper gel.

For the flashlight, I recommend a Streamlight Protac 1L-1AA (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01G75P1SC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9ia.Bb301STP9) or the Streamlight Protac 2-LX (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06WD29DZ8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_xka.Bb703WW4V).

There are a lot of good lights out there, but these two models are excellent and should meet the needs of most people. The 2-LX is bigger, brighter, and can use rechargeable batteries. However, the 1L-1AA has the advantage of being smaller. Both can easily fit in a pocket or purse.

Here’s a video review if the 2-LX: https://youtu.be/j_7RfUFYblU

Here’s a video comparing the two: https://youtu.be/vythpZUBab8

For the pepper gel, I recommend Sabre Red (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AT3LMP4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_6ga.BbRKDF9CK). It has good range, is super hot, and this kit comes with a practice unit.

This is what I use:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AT3LMP4/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_a7fTAb5EXEZ5K

The blue is training gel so you can practice aim and how it works. The black is the real stuff. Strong stuff and fits in a pocket well.

Another vote for SABRE gel spray. I bought this kit with the practice gel for everyone on the family. It was nice to get a feel for distance, coverage and live operation of the unit.

Check out Wyze labs at /r/wyzecam . They make affordable cameras that also pair up with a home sensor hub that will send push alerts if sensors are activated or people are detected on video. Inexpensive and a great value for some piece of mind and useful to build a case against someone, especially if something does happen.

As for self defense - anything you can do to get distance is key. Firearms are the greatest equalizer for this reason. Since you’re in the UK/EU I understand this isn’t an option. I saw Sabre GEL spray recommended which is great to have stashed in your pocket and around your home. They sell training canisters + real on amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AT3LMP4/
I know several law enforcement folks (US) that keep these above doorway casings throughout their homes in case they don’t have a firearm on them. I thought this was a good safe simple idea for home, especially with kids!

In addition to making law enforcement aware of the situation, I would start looking for some sort of self defense class. There are some great easy things you can learn that if you find yourself in close physical contact and not able to retreat you can use. Eyes, ears and genitals are all very sensitive with lots of nerves. Not much strength is required to exploit these natural vulnerabilities.

Stay safe and keep us posted.