Reddit mentions of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

I was younger than almost my entire team, only had 2 others younger than me of a 7 person team. It can be a bit challenging but the key thing to remember is that you were hired for your skills to be a people manager and they are the professionals in their skills.

There was probably someone on that team wanted your job. I tend to acknowledge their desire for leadership positions and ask them if that is what they still want in their career. If so then we make a plan to help make them more marketable for the next role or as my "heir-apparent" when the time comes.

Be humble and let their expertise and opinions be a welcome thing. It is paramount to hear their advice and more importantly to hear why things are done the way they are. People (typically) don't do things without a good reason. Respect that.

Couple other random bits and pieces I recommend to new managers:

This is what I try to do when taking over a new team.

• Review finances (historical (3-5 yrs), YTD and budgeted). The good part is that most of your current year has already been determined for you, so take that time to get the lay of the land so you can hit next year strong.
  
• Outline objectives and priorities from your boss for the department.
  
• Establish 1:1 weekly meetings with all your direct reports.
  
• I like to provoke my new teams to tell me two things in the following areas: Where are we poor/weak? What do we OK but should do better? What do we great at? What would you like to see?
  
  Things I strive for as part of my team as their manager:
  
  
• Do great work consistently.
  
• Be the go to team in your organization.
  
• Be a team and manager willing to push envelopes or create positive disruption.
  
• Protect your team as a manager in all settings.
  
• Reward people by the way they want to be rewarded. Not everyone wants beer. Not everyone wants money. Some people are just happy solving a difficult problem others couldn't figure out.
  
  A few books I would recommend in no particular order:
  
  
• Managing Humans: Biting and Humorous Tales of a Software Engineering Manager
  
• 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
  
• Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
  
• The Phoenix Project: A Novel About IT, DevOps, and Helping Your Business Win
  
• Writing That Works
  
• Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

I know what you read.

I am not an expert, and neither I have much experience of dealing with situations like this. I am here just to tell you that I follow one philosophy in my life and it has helped me a lot :

"Whether You Think You Can, or Think You Can't ... You're Right" - Henry Ford.

It's all about what you believe. Rest talking about self confidence, confidence comes from the character, you will have to work on yourself, you'll have to sharpen the saw. For this I would like to recommend a book : 7 habits of highly effective people. I believe author's idea thatfirst 3 habits build character is absolute truth and it helped me. Maybe it'll help you too. Audio book/ presentation.

Just believe in yourself for once and watch the changes it brings in your life.

I got you covered dude. My company lives for this and provides books on the regular, but the ones below are pretty much the industry standard, and top companies all over the world recommend that every one read these. I have to admit, they've helped me:

• "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" This will also have an impact on your personal life, but most importantly, it prevented me from being a little shit in the office, and helps teach you to focus on your work and behavior with other people by offering simple logic and examples.
  
  
• "Winning" This is the manifesto of how to dominate the corporate world by the legendary Jack Welch (Former long time CEO of GE). It's extremely simple and a very easy read, but this is the corporate mentality. Of all the books I list, if you only read one, make it this one. Easily a favorite among everyone in my office.
  
  
• "Good to Great" This isn't so much about how to be an effective individual, its more about what makes an effective company, but still important as you will want to recognize the effectiveness of your own organization is it grows and changes while you are there. Additionally, "Great by Choice" and "Built to Last" are also written by the same author, Jim Collins, and should also be on your list, but prioritize them for later.
  
  
• "Drive" by Dan Pink. This will help you understand a little bit more of what physically can motivate you, beyond money. Good way to sit down and assess your values as to why you show up everyday. I would also add "A Whole New Mind" which discusses creativity and "To Sell is Human" both by Dan Pink and prioritize them for later
  
  Those are the quick ones I can think of. If I come up with more I'll add them to the list. Also, welcome to the corporate world - good luck in your career!
  
  Edit: Holy shit, gold? This is my first time receiving so thank you for being gentle!
  

Hay mate, that way never works, you'll probably get a head of a lot of the nicer people out there, but people who lie, cheat and steal to get ahead it always ends up catching them in the end and becomes their biggest downfall, honestly never been the best course of action.

I think its why usually people are looking for other ways in creating successful businesses and why many are doing much better lately. Maybe its best to check out:

• Influence book, will probably do a lot more in taking advantage of people then you think https://www.amazon.com.au/influence-Psychology-Robert-PhD-Cialdini/dp/006124189X
  
• 7 Habits of highly successful people https://www.amazon.com.au/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful-ebook/dp/B00GOZV3TM
  
• How to win friends and influence people, a big book in influence and making people like you https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034
  
  
  Remember any group/class/religion that claims to teach you about lying, cheating or stealing, is probably lying, cheating and stealing from you instead :p.

THIS. If you really want to be a filmmaker, then start filming.

What do you mean by "never got to shoot my own"? Were people supposed to set up your shoot for you?

You have to make the work, you can't expect it to come to you. Read the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Then read it again.

Watch movies with the commentary on. Watch shorts other people have made on vimeo and youtube. Get inspired.

Talk to the people around you about wanting to film something, see who else is interested. It might surprise you how many people are willing to throw themselves in front of the camera for fun, as long as you have a concrete vision of what you want to film.

But like /u/madism said: dig deep within yourself to remember why you want to be a filmmaker. Nobody's going to make you one.

There was a video on here that I can't find again, it was a guy giving a pep talk to creative people and he said something along the lines of "you'll never get full-time results by putting in part-time work." That's what finally got me off my duff and filming.

Edit to add another great, inspiring book: [The Magic of Thinking Big] (http://www.amazon.com/Magic-Thinking-Big-David-Schwartz/dp/0671646788/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406073375&sr=1-2&keywords=think+big)

I am not a mom but I have some advice :) (pardon my language but I am going to refer to your kid as the pronoun him)

Watch this video first, hell watch it before reading the rest of the post

1. Denial and Isolation
   
2. Anger
   
3. Bargaining
   
4. Depression
   
5. Acceptance
   
   -----
   
   Things you need to do (these are the inbetween steps 1 and 2, 2 and 3, 3 and 4, 4 and 5)
   
   

• Task 1 - Accepting the reality of the loss. You need to accept that your kid is ADHD and this will have profound impacts on his/her life and your life. Your kid will most likely always be ADHD and there is nothing you can do that can change that, what done is done. Even if your kid suddenly rewires his brain and grows out of his ADHD he will still have difficulties in life related to ADHD for all he did was grow out of a couple symptoms, he is still ADHD but now he is just subclinical.
  
  
• How to move on with Task 1) You need to talk to other ADHD parents, you need to read experts who will probably overwhelm you and scare you. You need to realize the extent of the problem, crawling under a rock will not make the problem go away. I am not saying you should not have a support system like a friend or significant other to hold and support you, but you need to find out about ADHD for the sake of your kid.
  
  
• Task 2 - Work past the anger and do not let it consume you, you need to be proactive. You are going to be angry at someone or something, it may be yourself, it may be your husband, it may be society for not getting your kid, it may be snapping at other moms when the other moms are critical and do not understand, you will be angry. First thing you need to do is recognize that you are angry, and that the anger is okay to feel. You need to feel this anger, you need to deal with this pain, this hole that was just ripped out of your heart, but you need to do one more thing. You need to realize that how you respond with your anger is the most important thing. Your anger is not going to fix your child, nothing you can do can unmake your child and make him not ADHD. He is a sheep, he will never be a sheepdog, so stop trying to make him into something he is not, if you try to make him into a sheepdog you will only fuel the anger and you will fail. You will only create stress in your life and the life of your kid, you will only damage his self esteem.
  
  
• How to move on with Task 2) What you need to do with your anger is to use it as fuel to do something proactive. My advice is to learn as much about ADHD, by talking to other parents and watching the barkley videos such as this series. 30 Essential Ideas for Parents of a kid with ADHD , you also need to buy and read this book. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey
  
  
• Task 3 - Bargaining. Part of you once you start moving along will suddenly want answers from everyone, you want to be proactive, you want to succeed, and part of you thinks you can fix your kid. My kid may be ADHD but with the right med, with the right teacher, you will do something to make it all work out. At first glance this looks like the perfect thing for a parent to do, they seem to be doing everything right, but the thing that is missing her is perspective. Keep at this and you will burn yourself out, furthermore you will alienate friends, family, teachers. You will drive away potential non ADHD parents and thus their kids. You will also completely destroy your kid's self image and either he will hate himself or he will hate you and become Oppositional for that is the only way he can have any control.
  
  
• How to move on with Task 3) You need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, that video I linked to about the Shepherd should be in your head all the time. You need to realize your limitations and ask yourself every time, and I making this truly better, if the answer is maybe or no then you need to stop and conserve resources. You need to take time off for you, you need to remember to constantly reward your kid when he does good things, you need to hug him and always ask him questions, ask him to try to express his feelings in his own words.
  
  
• Task 4 - No matter what you are going to hurt, and feel sadness, regret, and depression. This is human nature but it hurts especially when it is your kid, and it hurts especially when you feel there is nothing substantial you can do.
  
  
• How to Move on Task 4) This may be the hardest thing or the easiest thing but you need to develop a sense of wonder with your child. You need to learn to see the bigger picture, you need to discover a sense of joy. How do you do this? By 1st) Treating all your stresses and taking care of yourself, 2nd) By finding small distractions that are completely about you, 3rd) By creating a support system such as family, friends, and other parents, 4th) When you least expect it, you need to look at your child, you need to hold your child, you just need to see your kid not as a person with ADHD but instead as your kid. You need to become a tiger, a wolf, a mama grizzly, whatever word you want to use but you just need to be a mom and see your kid as yours. This will require you getting away from the world, and just finding a moment to yourself and when you least expect it, it will hit home.

What makes me feel better is having a cuddle party with my friends and kitties, watching movies or TV show reruns together and eventually falling asleep in a huge heap of warmth and love. <3

I love this book and have no idea why I don't own it yet.

Keep up the good work and keep moving forward!

I enjoy lots of different kinds of books. Recently I started re-reading the Oz books by Frank L. Baum. Maybe you'd like it?

Or, if you're looking to read non-fiction I can't recommend The Seven Habits of Successful People more strongly.

Just to give some more context, let me list out what I've tried so far:

• I've read through and took notes on [How to Win Friends and Influence People] (http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People-ebook/dp/B003WEAI4E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418222240&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+win+friends+and+influence+people), Awareness, and No More Mr. Nice Guy (Models is next, followed by the 7 Habits of Highly-Effective People).
  
• Done some social drills where I try to think of 5 compliments for each person in my head while talking to them
  
• I catch myself whenever I am being judgmental and immediately correct my train of thought.
  
• I quickly try to get people talking about what they do for fun as I think that's the best way to gauge what someone is really all about.
  
  Anything else I should try?

This little epiphany literally came to me in the shower this morning. It is a distillation/unification of one of the underlying lessons taught by all the books, articles, and webinars I have recently read/listened to/watched, including but not limited to:

Willpower Doesn't Work: Discover the Hidden Keys to Success by Benjamin Hardy (https://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Doesnt-Work-Discover-Success-ebook/dp/B073P421QC/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1539392606&sr=8-1)

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey (actually I am just barely getting into this one) (https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful-ebook/dp/B00GOZV3TM/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1539392756&sr=8-1)

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown (https://www.amazon.com/Essentialism-Disciplined-Pursuit-Greg-McKeown-ebook/dp/B00G1J1D28/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1539392939&sr=8-2)

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondō (https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing-ebook/dp/B00KK0PICK/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1539393096&sr=8-2)

I really enjoyed reading "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck"
It taught me about giving a fuck only for the things that deserve it.

I also enjoyed "How To Win Friends and Influence People" which taught me that it's not about me - it's about being genuine with, and interested in, other people. My pride? Who gives a fuck! I'm embarrassed? Who gives a fuck!

I then read "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" which talks a lot about how to identify what it is you want, and what you care about, and how to align yourself and your life with that. It's a really positive book that I highly recommend reading!

Edit: I also absolutely loved "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelious which is generally about stoicism. The version I read was all "thou shalt", but I've seen somebody on Reddit quote a modern one which made for much easier reading! But Marcus Aurelious basically kept a journal of things he wanted to remind himself of, about his place in the world and his duty. I really, highly recommend it.

You can be far better than me, anyone can. Your unhappiness isn't caused by your shitty situation, it's caused by your perception of your situation. You put value in things that are not essential to your happiness, therefore you've told yourself you can't be happy without a better external situation. In that case, life will always be ahead of you dragging you behind it, instead of you being in front of life and pulling it in the direction you've determined to be the most attractive. The only things in life you should concern yourself with are the things in your control. If something is beyond your control, greet it with nothing more than supreme indifference.

Do you read and learn valuable knowledge every day? Do you do the work that needs to be done? Do you do proactive work that isn't urgent but necessary for your life goals? How much time do you spend on activities that are mere entertainment and don't improve your life tomorrow? I've found that doing the next right thing and being productive is most of what is required to feel great and stand tall.

Two great books that will get you started on thinking this way, which I can't recommend highly enough, are these:

Stoicism and the art of happiness


The 7 habits of highly effective people