Reddit mentions of The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do"

I’m sure! I can only imagine the differences between the two of you just based on your religious backgrounds. It will take patience and compromise for certain.

Take my advice as you will but I will tell you this. I used to believe it just took love or commitment to make a relationship work. Well, I was seriously incorrect and that ended up with me getting a divorce. I have learned as now I am in a tremendously successful relationship that having things in common is one of the most important things. Shared interests in particular. You can have different beliefs but you both must be willing to compromise and meet in the middle. You both need to want the same things or again be willing to compromise. Otherwise one person ends up being resentful and bitter or both. Just make sure beyond the alcohol issue you both can find yourselves on the same page! Talk about parenting and how you want to raise your children. Make sure he’s going to be the type of father you want for them if you both do want children.

This may be a good book for the two of you if you decide to marry! The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" https://www.amazon.com/dp/1585426210/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_xP5VBbJK8BWTJ

I’ve read it with my current partner and we found ourselves on the same page which was quite reassuring! Good luck to you and your love!

There's a book called "The Hard Questions", it's basically a list of questions couples should ask each other and share their answers for. You could do it over the phone with your fiancé, or write down responses and share later. I thought most of the questions were gender neutral and non-denominational and discussed things like future expectations, finances, sex & intimacy, work, children, family, etc.

I think it was this one, but it's been a while.

> Is cheating more about avoiding situations that can lead to infidelity or having the strength to resist all opportunities real or imagined?

I think this is where a lot of people fail. It usually starts with emotional cheating:

• spending more time with someone than they should
  
• talking about problems at home with another person, rather than with that person
  
• getting drunk etc
  
  This is a book I suggest someone who is looking for LTRs to read.

Get a book?

I recently purchased this book. I haven't received it yet, so I don't know if it's any good and therefore do not recommend that book over any other similar book.

My boyfriends and I are currently long-distance, so at the very least I'm hoping for conversation topics for our daily phone call.

NTA, but I do think that your judgement is pretty poor. If sex is important to you why would you want to wait until marriage to see if you're compatible with your partner? I understand that there are entire religious traditions and folk wisdom around abstinence, but those traditions have very little to say about having a happy sex life--they mostly leave it off the table. I absolutely understand why you balked and want an annulment. I also think there are a lot of other issues that would probably come up in the marriage that you never even broached with your partner. There's a book called "The Hard Questions" that lays out some very important open-ended questions that, in my opinion, absolutely everyone should talk about with their partner BEFORE tying the knot. Marriage isn't an event that magically solves every relationship problem until you live happily ever after, it's a pact between for a partnership that will have to be constantly maintained and tended to over the course of a lifetime. It's good to know what you're getting into ahead of time.

It's not possible to share, because every couple needs to come to their own decisions regarding everything. No two relationships are the same.


Here is the book: http://smile.amazon.com/The-Hard-Questions-100-Before/dp/1585426210/

The book is literally just a list of 100 questions to ask each other. "How many kids do you want?" "What kind of schools can the kids go to?" "Do we need to go to church, how often?" "If we have a fight, do we have a cool down period?" "What rules do we have when we fight?" "Where do we spend Christmas or Thanksgivings?"

Surprisingly, these seemingly small questions often end up being hour long conversations. It took us a long time to get through the book, but at the end, we're a better couple because of it.