Reddit mentions of The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism

>Question #1) Do people want to care for you? Do they want to hear your problems and rants?

Some do, some don't. I don't know what specific challenges you have with your Aspergers...I have 2 kids on the spectrum, and they have very different challenges around social interactions.

There are a lot of social conversations that are 'surface'. When someone says "how are you?", they usually just mean 'hello', and don't want to know how you really are. Those type of people don't want to know what you're upset about, or hear a rant.

One thing that's helped one of my kids is the idea of 'circles'. An inner circle of family/close friends/doctors/therapists, the next circle are people like teachers/aides, the outer circle are new acquaintances, people you meet on the street etc.

If a person in your inner circles (family, close friends, doctor, teacher etc) asks how you are, we want to know. It's appropriate to rant to them. Then there's an outer circle of 'acquaintances', who say "how are you?", and just want to hear 'fine'. They don't want to hear rants, or actually have a real conversation about how you are doing.

I would suggest reading The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism, by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron, as it has a lot of good explanations and guidelines for dealing with other people. Role playing can also be very helpful- find someone close to you, and pretend that they're a stranger. Work through your possible responses to situations, so that when they occur, you have a guideline on what to do. I'd also suggest posting in the autism subreddit, as there are a lot of people on the spectrum there who can give you very specific advice about their experiences, making small talk etc. You're definitely not alone in wanting to know how to navigate social interactions.

Good luck- if you ever want someone to talk to, just pm me.

Like queeraspie said, we're not mentally ill. Hopefully you take something from your experience in this subreddit.

Here's some books which may help you and your brother. If he won't/can't read them, you read them and use the information you gain to assist him figure things out. Some are geared toward Asperger's, but will be a good read regardless.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Unwritten-Rules-Social-Relationships/dp/193256506X/
http://www.amazon.com/Social-Success-Workbook-Teens-Skill-Building/dp/1572246537/
http://www.amazon.com/Full-Life-Autism-Relationships-Independence/dp/0230112463/
http://www.amazon.com/Alone-Together-Making-Asperger-Marriage/dp/1843105373/
http://www.amazon.com/The-Journal-Best-Practices-Marriage/dp/1439189714/
http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Long-Term-Relationships-Stanford/dp/1843107341/
http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-Love-Couple-Relationships-Affairs/dp/1843101157/

"Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspective of Autism" by Temple Grandin & Sean Barron. https://www.amazon.ca/Unwritten-Social-Relationships-Temple-Grandin/dp/193256506X

You'll need to provide more details on how you meditate for someone to offer advice on that.

As far as the rest, it seems your inability to socialise seems to be what you're most concerned about. Try reading The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: http://www.amazon.com/The-Unwritten-Rules-Social-Relationships/dp/193256506X/

I'd also follow /u/idunnoknow 's advice and try to join some sort of asperger's support group or just socialise with other people with asperger's. You're likely to find people with similar experiences to yours.

Here are some links for the product in the above comment for different countries:

Amazon Smile Link: http://smile.amazon.com/The-Unwritten-Rules-Social-Relationships/dp/193256506X/


|Country|Link|Charity Links|
|:-----------|:------------|:------------|
|USA|smile.amazon.com|EFF|
|UK|www.amazon.co.uk|Macmillan|
|Spain|www.amazon.es||
|France|www.amazon.fr||
|Germany|www.amazon.de||
|Japan|www.amazon.co.jp||
|Canada|www.amazon.ca||
|Italy|www.amazon.it||
|India|www.amazon.in||
|China|www.amazon.cn||




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