Reddit mentions of Tiggly Learner Kit Toy

Hi!

>A bit disjointed, no direction, I just have to let some out.

This has happened to all of us. It will change.

> Our first indication of something needing addressed was the fact that he wasn't talking. When I express this to people close to us, they seemed to think oh he must be using baby talk or can say momma and dadda. Nope. None of that. Not even assigning nonsense words that we could decipher. I personally did not think this was a big deal, I didn't start talking until 3. However, tons of people around me told me to talk to our PCP and get him speech therapy. Ok, what could it hurt?

> Our PCP informed us that she was going to set up an evaluation. I assumed a basic inventory of his health and hearing, blood tests, etc. What I did not expect was a full battery of experts. The day lasted nearly 6 hours. 5 different experts, MDs and PhDs, and many other initialed experts among them. I was pretty impressed with their demeanor, much of the time was spent "playing" and observing. Questions and directions. I did not realize from what looked to be pretty simple process how much info was gained and being interpreted.

> The indicators. At first, it seemed ridiculous. I'm certain based on my son's demeanor they had arrived at their conclusion before much evidence was present. Examples, when playing with cars, the minute he rolled a wheel, they asked us if he does this often or with other objects. Nope. Just loves rolling cars about-like a normal kid! They informed me that he did not like stacking blocks-he preferred lining them up. Ok.... He stacks them all the time at home. Last doc we visited with seemed especially keen on his habits, noting he only chose the cars, ignoring everything else. Asked us if he flaps, nope. Upon wrapping up, he gathered the cars (very gently, not in a mean way) and of course our son gets mad. "That's flapping!" An immediate reaction, I was surprised this wasn't "normal" for a two-year-old? Doc said it with such authority I didn't question it.

Your evaluation was performed in the best possible way. Our twins were evaluated along that procedure (ADOS-2 probably). Since your kid doesn't talk yet probably you will need a second evaluation in the future. Our ST made us wait before evaluating our kids (like or pediatrician, he also suspected at least one of them had ASD). His approach was to produce a communication channel before the evaluation to have a better assessment. After the long evaluation, kids were diagnosed with 18 and 22 on the ADOS scale. This put them above the Asperger range, but at a mostly functional range. Our neurologist (the head of the evaluation team) told us that this evaluation was their last. No further evaluation was needed.

> On the drive home, my emotions ranged. First, these guys don't know my boy. It seemed like they made a big deal about everything. How could they have gathered enough info to make such a huge diagnosis???

Because they are trained, they know where to look. The other positive point is your boy is very young so all the symptoms are there to catch and no bias because of age is present. So it is easier to pinpoint the level, and produce a set of 'countermeasures' through early intervention to make him feel better about the world and himself.

> Eventually, I realized, I do know my boy. I know him deeply. He reminds me of myself. Him playing with little pieces of carpet in a room full of toys, me sitting down in the outfield playing with grass instead of playing T-ball. Intent on his particular toys, as I was with my Legos. In his own world. Throwing the blankets off at night, perhaps this is a skin sensitivity? Banging random objects, is that stimming? This and more, many more little signs...they add up.

You know a part of him, but being autistic there is another part that is hidden behind a veil and you can't access to it and he cannot explain to you that yet. One book (recommended here) that I found quite enlighten is The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism. You can read it in an hour.

Also, I also told the psychologist interviewing my wife and I that my kids remind me of myself as I shared some traits with them. She told me, they were the ones being evaluated and whatever similarity was not relevant to them. Thus, don't overcomplicate yourself, try to build from your shared traits upwards to guide him into a fulfilling life.

> And I well up. I love my boy. He isn't a set of signs or indicators. How do they have the temerity to think they can assign labels or know what he is? I know WHO he is. And I worry. About programs that aim to "normalize" him. About teachers who may not give him the benefit of the doubt or the opportunity to excel. I worry that a diagnosis may hold him back and instead of building him up they'll remove his essence. Family who sees him differently.

Acceptance will come, but this doesn't mean you won't demand them to excel. Yet, you need to know his boundaries and be very aware of his strength. I wrote a lot about my kids here. Every kid is different, so you have to look for yourself.

Our twins are 4 y/o now. They started ST at 2.5, then moved to an inclusive school (50%ASD-50%NT) with ST, OT and PECS oriented classroom. This environment has helped a lot to develop their spoken language, feel more comfortable around people, and communicate their needs. You NEED every therapy available NOW.

Our neurologist told us the following: "if you do nothing now, they can go to a regular school without problems. They will adapt, but you won't have the best version of themselves. If you support them in every possible way, go to [this type of school] then you will drive your kids to become the best they want to be.

But for you, doing this will be the hardest five years of your life. So, you need psychological support and live a healthier life. You need to be there, every hour for your kid now."

So we took the second option.

Our kids, can speak now (not with the fluidity of a 4 y/o) and communicate most of their needs. Their tantrums and quirks are mostly contained (they appear when they are really tired or anxious). They are very clever kids, that love numbers, words, and music.

They excel at numbers: count from 1 to 30 (understand the symbols and their relation to quantities) in Spanish (mother language) and English. They can do basic sums (without finger counting) and now they are learning subtraction. They also have a strong interest in words: know the full ABC (some letters from the English pronunciation), read some words, understand words in English (colors and shapes; also many animals), and now they are learning to construct words from syllable.

We are using iPads to strengthen these areas. I bought them Tiggly when they were very young (two years ago) and this fourth birthday (yesterday) they received Osmo's Genius Kit. They loved the Tangram because puzzle-solving is one thing they love to do a lot (and this is in another level).

> I don't know the future. I only know that we will exercise agency in every decision along the way. We will advocate for rights and opportunity. We will be better than our parents. He will not be called "doofus" or "f-ggot." I'll hug the sht out of him but never hit him. He's our boy dammit, I love him, and that's all that matters.

Nobody knows​ the future, even us 'normal' people.

What you feel about parenthood is what I felt, even before knowing they had ASD. The thing you mention may even happen to a regular kid with special interest, whether has ASD or not. In our special case, we need to learn about ASD to approach to learning in the best possible way for the mind of our sons.

Be patient, It will be better.

EDIT: grammar.