Reddit mentions of Two Knotty Boys Showing You The Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage

First and foremost, hello and welcome.

Secondly, this is our media subreddit, which is for published media relating to BDSM. Our discussion subreddit is located at /r/BDSMcommunity, and you should post future discussions there for a wider audience. It should not be necessary to resubmit this post, though. I also highly recommend you spend all the time you have available devouring our FAQ over at /r/BDSMfaq.

> My girlfriend recently read 50 shades of grey and decided she would like to try a dom/sub sexual relationship.

You should both be aware that the relationship depicted in 50 Shades of Grey is not a healthy BDSM relationship. It is thought that Anna lacks agency and consent, and doesn't engage in kink for herself, but just to be with him. For his part, Christian is regarded as heavily manipulative of her (and everyone else around him), a stalker, and a bit of a sociopath -- but he's rich and good looking so that works for him, I guess. You can learn more about 50 Shades from a BDSM perspective by checking out The Curious Kinky Person's Guide to 50 Shades of Grey.

> The first time we tried this, I bound her hands with a tie, blindfolded her, and just generally had my way with her.

I should caution you, as someone who is extremely interested in bondage, that ties are not the best bondage implements. In fact, they're pretty poor. For one, they have very short lengths typically, which doesn't give you a lot of options for ties. For two, they have very small diameters typically, which makes them require more wraps around a column to distribute pressure safely (and you've already got less length to do the wrapping). Finally, they are usually made from material that is very slippery and prone to hold knots so tight that you cannot untie them. These are terrible properties of bondage rope!

You should get some 6mm - 8mm (which is equivalent to 1/4" and 3/8" respectively) diameter rope in either cotton, nylon, or hemp (jute is similar but more expensive). Cotton is the cheapest and easiest to get a hold of. You will want 15 feet to 30 feet lengths. Most people find shorter lengths are too short to do much with, and longer lengths are far too long to work with effectively. Besides, you can always join ropes together to extend them should you fall short.

> I honestly really enjoyed being the dom.

That's great to hear! You should probably, being recently vanilla, take a read through BDSM for Nice Guys. They also have a nice selection of BDSM scenarios which should give you lots of ideas.

> We're looking to continue this type of sexual relationship but are unsure of our limits, what all we might be into, what we could even try. Any suggestions in exploring this?

This feels like my specialty, having fielded such questions in great volume in the last few days.

You should spend some time going through mojo upgrade, a BDSM checklist, and/or exploring the human sex map together with google/urban dictionary for things you don't know about.

Basically, you need to figure out which kinds of activities interest and excite your partner, which kinds of activities your partner is disinterested in, and which kinds of activities your partner absolutely does not want any part in. You should also figure out these same things for yourself!

Finally, go slowly, communicate, communicate, research, still more communication, and when you're done with that, communicate some more. You can always add in more later, but it is very difficult to "take back" things once they have gone too far.

Speaking of that, if you haven't already, you should definitely establish a safeword. One thing 50 Shades does have going for it is that they correctly represented the traffic light system of safewords which most everyone is familiar with. A very popular non-traffic light word is pineapples. Finally, unless you intend to actually engage in consensual non-consent (aka rape-play), there is no reason you should ignore words like "stop", "no", or "don't". If you do plan to devalue such words, using a safeword is imperative!

Here's my basic bondage spiel, should you be more interested in that.

Please check out our bondage basics article in /r/BDSMfaq. It is very informative and will say much of what I say here.

Depending on what you are looking to get into, I would highly recommend the following books, in no particular order:

• Two Knotty Boys: Showing You the Ropes
  
• Two Knotty Boys: Back on the Ropes
  
• Bondage for Sex
  
• Shibari you can use
  
• Complete Shibari Volumes I and II
  
  For websites, you should most definitely check out Twisted Monk's video tutorials and the Two Knotty Boy's downloads. Rope specific subreddits include /r/shibari and /r/kinbaku.
  
  For general knot-tying information, I like animated knots by grog, and of course your favorite search engine. Learning the basic terms can help you a lot, and if you really get interested in knots and rigging in general there's always /r/knots and sailing related stuff.

Get some EMT safety shears first. You can find them at any drug store by the bandages. shears

Here are some good videos of safe ties, meaning they wont tighten if they are pulled at.
instructional videos

There are also some good books out there as far as knots go. I like this one: Showing You the Ropes - Two Knotty Boys

As far as rope goes, nylon from the hardware store is decent place to start. If you really get into it I would suggest rope from http://twistedmonk.com . It is pricey but awesome.

The New Topping Book - For good general Dom knowledge

The New Bottoming Book - For good general Sub knowledge

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction - Nice Intro Book

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns - Another good book into BDSM

Two Knotty Books: Showing You the Ropes - Good knot book

Two Knotty Boys: Back on the Ropes - Another good knot book

Erotic Bondage Handbook - Another knot book

Shibari You can USe - Book on Shibari knots

Videos on knots - TwistedMonk

Link dump!

Threads:
1,
2,
3,
4.

Instructionals: Two Knotty Boys,
Twisted Monk.

Books: Showing you the Ropes,
Back On the Ropes, Complete Shibari,
Erotic Bondage Handbook.

Must Know Knots: One Comlun Tie,
Two Column Tie.

Subreddits: /r/bondage, /r/kinbaku+shibari, /r/bdsmdiy

That should be a good start. Also, look for any related posts to this one, there are about a million (This question is asked every few days, and there are some great answers in the logs.)

Buy this. Follow instructions.

That helps. My wife read The Mistress Manual and got a lot out of it, especially in terms of the relationship dynamic. I never read it (I wasn't supposed to), but she seems a lot more comfortable as the top now.

As for the BDSM play, that's pretty broad as well. Bondage is the only one I've read a lot on. A great rope bondage book to own is The Knotty Boys Show You The Rope.

Of course, there's a giant list of other types of play you might want. Just go to Fetlife and look at the fetishes list. Feel free to come back here for advice.

The one thing every single book will say is to communicate with your partner. Do it. Seriously.

With respect, you've not done bondage, that was a bit of an experiment, and if it hurt (to where it cut the mood, not the good kind) maybe you'd do well to do a little more research into all that. It's a huge, huge, well, artform, and even then only part of the kinky spectrum. If you're interested this is an excellent place to start: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Knotty-Showing-Ropes-Step-Step/dp/193116049X

There's a whole world of this stuff, and a ton of communities who are only too welcoming to people who want to learn, generally full of superb people and advice on how to play with this kind of thing properly. It's all down to what you want to get out of it really, personally I find www.fetlife.com fantastic - if a little daunting to begin with.

We got some from TwistedMonk in their Statutory Grape color, but we also make our own. It's 100% organic hemp with vegan oil. Hemp is the best due to the toothiness of the rope, and the high burn temperature.

Check out Monk's videos section for some great starter stuff, but I also highly recommend TKB's Showing You The Ropes and Douglas Kent's Complete Shibari Vol 1. If you need any more tips or pointers or whatever, feel free to message. My partner does this stuff professionally for photoshoots, kink events, and the like.

Here's a bunch of other knots if you couldn't find them from those links: Clicky

I'd also suggest the book - I think most of the knots are covered in those videos, but I find the book easier. No need to pause and go back when you have all the pictures laid out and descriptions written out.

Two Knotty Boys Showing You The Ropes

shibari you can use

Here is a couple of reference book that I found really useful also, those 2 authors have a couple of additional books out also.

A great read for newbies is SM:101 and if you are into the bondage aspect of it, knotty boys.

by no means the be all end all of bdsm books but a good place to start. SM101 is good because it teaches you the safety aspects of bdsm. A VERY important part of it. safety first and goood luck and happy playing!

Yep:

https://www.amazon.com/Essence-Shibari-Kinbaku-Japanese-Bondage/dp/1942733852/

https://www.amazon.com/Shibari-You-Can-Use-Japanese/dp/0977872726/

https://www.amazon.com/dp/193116049X/

Check out the books and videos by two knotty boys (http://knottyboys.com/), http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/193116049X

If you don't think you know how to do it properly, you need to tell her a head of time, and talk about how to proceed. Maybe make it a practice before you get deep into a scene. You can always focus on the other kinky stuff that you feel more confident about. Explore safely, sanely and consensually. And means being honest about your skill level.

There are a lot of books out there.
https://www.amazon.com/Shibari-You-Can-Use-Japanese-ebook/dp/B00S46RMNK/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=shibari+ebook&qid=1572969064&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Knotty-Showing-Ropes-Step-Step/dp/193116049X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=shibari+books&qid=1572969143&sprefix=shibari+book&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Shibari-1-Douglas-Kent/dp/0973668814/ref=pd_aw_fbt_14_img_3/191-1189122-4871707?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0973668814&pd_rd_r=3406f48b-63f6-4e69-9654-39f9dc5dd2ea&pd_rd_w=W7vb5&pd_rd_wg=cRP8r&pf_rd_p=6e6afc8a-fbbd-4649-97cf-4e08f5113612&pf_rd_r=7DX6V5JHWKR1S99KCEQ1&psc=1&refRID=7DX6V5JHWKR1S99KCEQ1

Be safe and have fun

Here's a good book to help you get started: Amazon Link!

The same people do lots of videos on youtube also, if you prefer something a little more interactive.

Nice karada, the world always needs more riggers. Says I. You can weave the rest up the back (if you bend that way, I'm always slinging string with a rope bunny), or wrap it into a hip harness, or if you twist two ropes around each other while twisting each rope in the opposite direction it'll hold the shape. Then a knot in the end and you have a pretty leash! 2KB do some very good rope books (http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/193116049X).

PS. Definitely worth investing in EMT shears if you haven't already.