Reddit mentions of Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

It's good that you haven't made up your mind about anything. Holding onto that mindset will make everything much simpler.

If you read much at all I'd recommend a very good book on the subject to you, an autobiography from someone who struggled with bipolar disorder herself. It's called An Unquiet Mind, by Kay Redfield Jamison. It should give you an understanding of what severe bipolar disorder is like, educate you on the dangers of it and present a strong case for medication. I can sympathise with being reluctant to go on medication, I was very opposed to taking any myself for my depression, but it can be a lifesaver.

Even if you decide after reading it that you don't identify with her situation at all, it's still an excellent read that I sure you wouldn't regret. It's a fairly popular book so if your school has a psychology department you might be able to borrow it from them (at least that's where I got it from), alternatively you can pick it up on amazon for £5.66.

 

Whether or not you decide to read the book you should ask for an appointment with a mental health professional sooner or later. I'm no expert but I think what you've said is cause for concern. Certainly enough that it's worth risking worrying your family a little to check. Not wanting to scare you, but if you stay quiet the worst case scenario is that you do suffer from bipolar, it gets worse and you end up hurting yourself. That would worry them a lot more, aside from being awful for you.

Mental illness is scary, but we'll always be here to help you through it. It doesn't make you any less of a person or any weaker than anyone else, and I'm sure your family will understand that.

Hey :) Pick up this book:

"An unquiet mind" by Kay Redfield Jamison.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unquiet-Mind-memoir-moods-madness/dp/0330528076

I've often noticed a really odd mentality with regards to mental illness; some people seem to be under the impression that - rather than being absolutely painful and agonising - it's in fact positive, and almost romantic. They conjure up images of misunderstood geniuses, or withdrawn personalities that battle in the shadows.

I'll never forget my partners response to reading "An Unquiet Mind"; I'd already read it at that point, but was interested to see how she felt - so I asked her for her thoughts. She stated "it made me feel inferior by virtue of not being mentally ill" - now I'm not particularly sure I'd go that far, but there does seem to be quite a lot of romanticism of mental illness. (IMO An Unquiet Mind isn't the best example, as my main memories from that book was the utter anxiety as she dealt with crippling debt caused by impulsive purchases whilst going through mania.)

Perhaps there is a correlation (although equally, there may be an inverted one), but I know I'd rather have a bit of stability than some intangible IQ points..