Reddit mentions of Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

She probably will grow up in time, but that's not likely to help you now. Being that insecure really isn't all that uncommon for young women (or young men, for that matter- I've had men freak out at the suggestion that a toy might be fun), unfortunately. Some things that might help- therapy. Not because she's crazy, but so that she can learn to see herself in a different light. She probably won't go for that.
Reading- not only books about sexuality (so that she can learn that masturbation is healthy and necessary for most adults, in a relationship or not), but I also found it helpful to read about women's issues. Books like Women Who Run with The Wolves (not as crazy as it sounds) taught me a lot about self-esteem, confidence, and female sexuality. Exposure to other, sane women. She doesn't have to go the whole hog crazy route as far as women's issues go, but knowing and seeing that there are other women who have learned that sexuality in a relationship also involves individual sexuality is not a bad thing. If you can get her to sign on to reddit, get her to post in 2X...it's a recurring issue there, and there are usually a lot of women who can help to convince her that masturbation isn't bad, or a slam at her.

A lot of us are raised to think that when we're in a relationship, all that matters is the sex that you have together, and if either person needs/wants more, then it's our fault and somehow due to something that's lacking in us. Of course that's ridiculous, but it can take a while to overcome that kind of early indoctrination. Fairy tales don't really end with "and then one night he masturbated, and they still lived happily ever after", and women's magazines tend to go the whole "being a tiger in the bedroom and he'll never look elsewhere!" route. (I'm not saying that men don't also get raised with silly ideas about sex, but we're talking about her in this instance).

Unfortunately when you're insecure you tend to look for your security and sense of self-worth from other people, which does nothing at all to resolve the underlying issue. She's going to have to eventually find some way of developing it herself. It can and likely will happen, but it will happen more quickly if she actively looks for ways to help herself.

Anyone who is remotely interested in this post needs to read Women who Run with the Wolves. Just do it and be empowered and love yourself.

I myself identify greatly with Demeter. To me, she is the closest representation to the woman I hope to become. I consider her my matron deity.

Other women I admire and aspire to be like: Amanda Palmer, Amy Poehler, Jennifer Lawrence (as she is currently, that beautiful, outspoken wonderwoman), my mother, Beyonce (when she dances I feel more like a woman, it's strange), my old therapist, drag queens, trees, my cat, etc.

The divine feminine is everywhere. Pick up that book, and if you want to discuss further shoot me a message.

She is a book on female psychology using myth.

White Oleander is a fictional book about a mother/daughter relationship. The mother kills her boyfriend and goes to jail, then tries to control her daughter's life through the foster system from prison.

Women Who Run With The Wolves is also a lot like She, but it's myths from different cultures that explain various feminine archetypes, as opposed to one myth (the myth of Psyche).

Good luck!

It is confusing, but not something that can be easily summarized in a post.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143038192/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_SHufAbVP5DDP8 is still a good breakdown of the modern pagan movement and different groups you might find. http://www.witchvox.com looks like it was designed in the 90s but is still a good resource and is updated, you can find groups there too. http://wildhunt.org is a news blog if you want to see what’s going on today. There are other sites but that’ll get you started.

You can probably tell some folks are a bit sensitive about history. Some swear up and down that their traditions go back unbroken since forever, others will say that all neopagan traditions are reconstructionist and formed in the last century or so (give or take 50 years). The sensitivity comes from people feeling that the newer the tradition the less legitimate it is… but aren’t all religions and spiritual paths made up by someone?

Here’s the thing. You are in charge of your own spiritual journey and your connection to whatever you call your higher power/s is your own and no one else’s. Imho humans are creatures of habit and ritual. It sets the mind to task, even if that’s getting a cup of coffee and reading your email before work to help set up your day. Pagan rituals are a fame work to help you create sacred space, and there’s a psychology to it. What Wiccans call raising a cone of power is similar to what Jim Morrison did in his trancelike long performances where they would speed up and slow down the tempo, ending it in a release. Lots of pagan rituals across many paths use this old technique of syncing heartbeats with music. Other religions use this to a greater or lesser degree but most pagans use it with intent along with myth and symbolism of the wheel of the year which is a death/rebirth myth we re-enact over and over. It’s up to you to figure out what it all means. Beyond historic fact you decide your truth. There’s no dogma really. All the different traditions do is provide structure to work in. There’s no ‘true’ path. Just yours.

If you like more academic reading, I suggest The Hero with a Thousand Faces (The Collected Works of Joseph Campbell) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1577315936/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_C9ufAbYFREXB5
Out of Your Mind: Tricksters, Interdependence, and the Cosmic Game of Hide and Seek https://www.amazon.com/dp/1622037529/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_G.ufAb9673FJ3
Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype https://www.amazon.com/dp/0345409876/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_J-ufAbH37W34C
None of these are ‘pagan’ books, think of them more as companion philosophy/psychology behind myths. The last book is geared more towards women but it’s a good read regarding the female archetype in myth.

Nobody can give you concrete answers. You gotta do what anyone curious must do. Read and figure it out for yourself.

I was also given this book to read by my therapist! I got this in addition: http://www.amazon.com/Women-Wolves-Clarissa-Pinkola-Est%C3%A9s/dp/0345409876 (about women and our struggles) that I enjoyed also.
I didn't find Drama of the Gifted Child as helpful as I would have liked, but I realized I needed a different kind of therapy a couple years later.

maybe this book? Women Who Run With Wolves

Sacred Prostitute, The (Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0919123317/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_bOhADbRBQY9F6 & Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype https://www.amazon.com/dp/0345409876/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_.OhADb09SAYTR

Fictionalisation of 'red tents' in biblical times, here it's interesting, obviously fictionalised, but presents the tranference of knowledge in an interesting way. Another interesting one is 'Women who run with the wolves' , which talks about the 'wild woman' (or witch in some ways) archetype

They're not recent reads, but in my early 20s I read Women Who Run With The Wolves, and the Handmaid's Tale. Women Who Run With the Wolves is about the stories that different cultures tell about women, and I found it tremendously empowering. I still read it when I need a girl power boost. The Handmaid's Tale is a cautionary tale (and a really great read) about the intersection between religion/politics/women's issues, and it really taught me to look skeptically at the combination of fundamentalist religion and politics that was just starting to take hold.

In the last few years, I've just loved The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. It's a short novel, but as someone who's suffered from life-long depression, it was just so wonderful, and hopeful.

Are you female and teens or twenties? I ask because that's a common dream for women in that age bracket to have. The appearance of this man and your eventual conclusion is a sign of health and growing wisdom, If I am remembering correctly from this book: https://www.amazon.com/Women-Wolves-Clarissa-Pinkola-Estés/dp/0345409876?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

The man represents the darker destructive (if uncontainable self-destructive) aspects of your nature. That its in your dreams means you are becoming aware of the darker, baser elements of yourself. When I was a teenager, I had a dream about a creepy man watching me, always through blinds, outside a window. I had it a couple times and woke up feeling intense fear. Then one day in my dream I was in my bedroom and he was watching me from the window. Then he was in the room with me and I called for my brothers and dad and they came in with axes and chopped him to bits. I woke up very scared and told my dad that I had a nightmare, when I told him what had happened he said "that is a good dream. Something got resolved." And I was very confused because of the intensity of the fear and how vivid the dream had been. Then years later I read that book and realized my dad was right. You will need to call on masculine elements (commonly but not always represented by brothers) of your nature to reconcile and control the destructive aspect of yourself.

I think it's a part of a spiritual quest since society pins women into passive roles and we get better responses by developing our helpful, kinder more nurturing sides. Then we wall off our (the door in your dream between you and the villain) more destructive sides of our personality but it is a part of us and makes its presence known. It can be very scary when the destructive aspect of ourselves reveals itself because it's so foreign to the role we often play in society. The author of that book describes what the dismemberment in the dream does for the dreamer.

Highly recommended for anyone of any gender or interests. But a great book for your friend imo.


Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Women Who Run With the Wolves

AMAZON





Review

“Women Who Run with the Wolves isn’t just another book. It is a gift of profound insight, wisdom, and love. An oracle from one who knows.”—Alice Walker
 

“I am grateful to Women Who Run with the Wolves and to Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés. The work shows the reader how glorious it is to be daring, to be caring, and to be women. Everyone who can read should read this book.”—Maya Angelou


 
“An inspiring book, the ‘vitamins for the soul’ [for] women who are cut off from their intuitive nature.”—San Francisco Chronicle
 


“Stands out from the pack . . . a joy and sparkle in [the] prose . . . This book will become a bible for women interested in doing deep work. . . . It is a road map of all the pitfalls, those familiar and those horrifically unexpected, that a woman encounters on the way back to her instinctual self. Wolves . . . is a gift.”—Los Angeles Times



 
“A mesmerizing voice . . . dramatic storytelling she learned at the knees of her [immigrant] aunts.”—Newsweek



 
“The work of Clarissa Pinkola Estés, rooted in old and deep family rites and in archetypal psychology, recognizes that the soul is not lost, but has been put to sleep. This volume reminds us that we are nature for all our sophistication, that we are still wild, and the recovery of that vitality will itself set us right in the world.”—Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul

https://www.amazon.com/Women-Wolves-Clarissa-Pinkola-Estés/dp/0345409876

https://www.amazon.com/Warrior-Goddess-Training-Become-Woman/dp/1938289366/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=6KXSPH22AMR3QDFWJRMP