Reddit mentions of Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life

I don't have time at the moment to write a longer comment, but I HIGHLY recommend reading Women With Attention Deficit Disoder by Sari Solden. I'm about halfway through it myself and it's amazing, validating, and more helpful than I could've ever imagined. It's also arranged in a very ADHD friendly way. The sections are clearly explained, well organized, and broken into manageable chunks, and the paper is very highlighter-friendly (I've come across so many books lately that aren't that yes, the highlighter-friendly paper matters!). There's also audio and e-book versions if you prefer.

And if you like that book, this year she released a companion workbook (I also have that, diving into it after I finish the first one!).

Edit: fixed a word

So relatable. Check out Sari Solden's book too, on women with ADHD! It has a somewhat cheesy title about embracing your differences, but the content inside is super relevant and well-told. https://www.amazon.com/Women-Attention-Deficit-Disorder-Differences-ebook/dp/B008RDNRXE

I've been in CBT with various practitioners (practicing various forms of CBT, some with homework and specific programs/techiques, some not) off and on since my first baby. I was "well practiced' by the time we got to the ADHD diagnosis: my original issues were postpartum depression, anxiety, and family of origin issues. ADHD is the last piece of the puzzle (I think. :))

So, I have very successfully adapted the techniques I've learned to the ADHD situation. After all these years, just recognizing what's going on in my head is enough of a tool to make the necessary adaptations.

For one example, before I identified the ADHD, I COULD NOT find a reason to get up in the morning. I wake up in the morning and can't even remember a reason to get up - even if I set the alarm, i would forget that I had somewhere to be. Now that I'm aware of the ADHD, I have successfully identified why it was so hard to get up, what attitudes to get rid of, what physical and ADHD related things to adjust, and now I successfully get up at the same reasonable hour every morning, including weekends.

Regarding therapy, Sari Solden's book http://amzn.com/B008RDNRXE said, we have a "giftedness at disorganization" that makes it possible for us to break down the systems we've built up that aren't working, and rebuild new systems. I have definitely found this to be true in my life. I highly recommend you find a sympathetic, qualified counselor and go for it as part of your treatment.

[edit] If you would like more specific information, please ask. I'm not sure what to tell you because my experience has been pretty across the board.

I wish I could tell you with 100% certainty that it must be ADHD, but I can't.

I can tell you that I could have written your post. When I went to ask for help the focus was on depression and anxiety but the ADHD causing those was missed completely. It happens a lot, especially for people who are inattentive (and especially when your grades are good enough as is/you space out instead of causing trouble).

If you think it could be ADHD it's always worth to push to get tested. Even if you haven't (and they give you reasons that sound acceptable/make sense to you) knowing that it isn't ADHD will get you closer to figuring out what it could be instead. If you come across crappy health professionals who think adults can't have it, or it isn't a thing, keep pushing.

I get the feeling terrified of making it all up, I felt the same way. But your whole post oozes you only wanting to know what's wrong so you can do better and people who're looking for excuses to do less usually lack the whole 'feeling like shit about themselves' part.

I got diagnosed 2 years ago at 34 and I'm terribly lucky with how I respond to medication but even if it was half as effective as it is, it would still be enough to finally not fear the depression coming back.

You're not weird for wanting to get diagnosed and I sincerely hope it can make you the happiest turtle.

*edit to add: if you're a girl (you kinda read like one, but that could be me projecting) This book has been the best I found to explain both the ADHD and how to deal with a later diagnoses, without overly focusing on the 'marriage/kids' part.

Sure!

• Healing ADD by Daniel Amen - some really great brain science here, well written and totally easy to grasp. The first one I read and one of the most helpful.
  
• Driven to Distraction by Hallowell and Ratey - it was really valuable to see the focus on patient stories and on compassion for the ways people struggle with it in here. Reading about many different ways ADHD can manifest was super reassuring for me.
  
• Women with Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Holden - this one is definitely dated a little, but I wish I had read it sooner than I did, because there can be significant gender differences in how ADHD presents and women are often diagnosed much later in life because they are less likely to be disruptive and less likely to be hyperactive. This was the one that made me feel completely sure that I wasn't faking it or deceiving myself and that I had the right diagnosis.

I haven't read either of these in their entirety, but I've found helpful stuff in both:

Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD: Beyond Piles, Palms, & Post-its

Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life

Sari Solden is kind of the premiere expert on adult ADHD in women, so her book - much like her website - is full of great stuff even though it looks dated.