Reddit mentions: The best pregnancy books

Oh wait, I'm not done.

Things you should consider having for immediately after having the baby:

• Comfortable underwear. The mesh hospital panties are okay, but I personally preferred my own underwear. I bought a handful of black panties that were super comfortable in a larger size and rotated those for the first 2-3 weeks. I stopped bleeding by week 3 (yay!!) so don't assume you'll spend months bleeding. You might, but you might not. And just when you think you're done, you'll have a random day of spotting or something, so black underwear is awesome for this.
  
  
• Dermaplast and the peri-bottle thing. LIFESAVERS.
  
  
• Shutterfly app. They do free 4x4 and 4x6 prints (you pay shipping). If you're anything like me, you'll rack up pictures on your phone faster than you think. Every time I get a super cute photo, I immediately add it to my cart on Shutterfly. Then every 3 weeks, I place an order of 50-100 photos (I take a LOT of pictures) and have them sent to my house for like $6-7. It keeps me organized with the baby book because I'm adding photos and details as I go instead of trying to remember things later, and I love having physical copies of photos.
  
  
• GET A COPY OF THESE TWO BOOKS! https://www.amazon.com/Belly-Book-Nine-Month-Journal-Growing/dp/0307336182/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1495333267&sr=8-3& & https://www.amazon.com/My-Baby-Book-Keepsake-Journal/dp/030746542X/ref=pd_sim_14_5?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=030746542X&pd_rd_r=R5TERBJ10HQ2GM4FDZDE&pd_rd_w=EZAlP&pd_rd_wg=7J1oR&psc=1&refRID=R5TERBJ10HQ2GM4FDZDE -- Both of these are great and fun to fill out. I knew I wanted to record things but I didn't want some boring book, and these are actually really well written and thoughtful. I loved filling out the pregnancy one and I've gone back and flipped through it a few times to laugh about crap that happened. I recorded cravings, weird feelings I had, the first time I felt him kick, stuff like that. I just loved the layout and highly recommend these to anyone having a kid. So far I've done a couple pages in the Baby Book and it's great, too, and I'm looking forward to adding more as times passes.
  
  
• The Windi. Just do it, it's gross but just do it.
  
  Oh, and pro-tip, if you register at Target you can get a free gift bag. If you're like me and shop at Target lots and give them loads of your money, you can go into Target and get a SECOND (or third...oops) bag of samples. I go to lots of different Targets so yeah, I got more than one free bag. But I did register through them, I got almost everything I registered for, I used to work for the company, and the samples they gave were awesome. I feel justified. I got free bottles (turns out my kid loves them), free pacifiers (again, my kid loves them), and tons of samples that were perfect for the diaper bag. On top of that, their gift bag has a "buy one Starbucks get one free" coupon so I ended up with 3 of those and sometimes I go to Target just to use one and treat myself. Maybe I'm a jerk for taking more than one bag, but they never asked for proof or anything and didn't mark down that I had already received mine. Ohhhh well.

On the advice of friends, I got a Pack and Play to use as a cosleeper, as well as an extra one for the living area. I'm getting two cribs that can convert to toddler beds, but we plan to only set up one at first. My ideal set up would be to have a non-mini Arm's reach cosleeper in the bedroom, but I haven't yet found one at reasonable price.

Some babies love swings and others dislike them, so I'm starting with one swing, a rock n play, and a vibrator/bouncer and I'm going to see which item is most popular. I've been told that all of those can cause head deformities if the babies are in them for too long, so I have two maya wraps, two slings, and an ergo so we wear them.

I went with the Chicco keyfit car seat wise since it had the highest rating on consumer reports and, after playing with what friends had, I liked it the best. The chicco cortina together is very nice and I loved it when I tried it out, but it wouldn't fit in my car, so I found a used Snap N Go for $25 instead. I decided to get that style instead of the side-by-side because I've heard of people having problems fitting the side-by-side in small doorways.

In addition to the double stroller, I also got a Chicco keyfit caddy because I plan on wear one baby and push the other around.

I decided to get the car seat strollers for when they are young because I want to make things as simple as possible when I'm still new to this whole parenting thing. I also want to try out a single versus a double stroller since I know people who prefer each, and the frame strollers are small enough that I can fit both in my car.

I've been using craigslist, a local message board, and Mothers of Multiples consignment sales to get good deals on a lot of items, so in the end, I expect to spend less on my strollers than many people pay for one new one. I'm buying the crib and carseat new, and I've gotten a few other items as gifts, but everything else is used because I'd rather be overstocked and try out items than find myself lacking something useful later.

As far as books go, I highly recommend When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets and Quads because of its scientific, fact filled approach. Mothering Multiples for breast feeding techniques. I'd also recommend going to your library and checking out various books on raising twins. I can't remember all of the books I found helpful because I read so many. For general child care, Happiest Baby on the Block is a must read (or see, there's a DVD). My friend who had a premature baby said that this book saved her life. At first she thought her daughter just didn't like being swaddled, but it turned out that you are supposed to swaddle premature babies differently than full term ones. Now that her daughter is properly swaddled, she's much calmer. That book also inspired me to spend the money on a sleep sheep which is currently kidnapped by a friend.

Another thing that you may want to consider is cloth diapering. I've attended a few Mother of Multiples groups, and cloth diapering has been repeated many times as a way to save money on diapers. Even though I live in a small town, there are local stores and groups for parents to share techniques and tips on cloth diapering. Mine are due to November, so I haven't personally tried it out, but on the advice of other multiple members, I have a bunch of premature diapers for when they are newborn, and a growing collection of cloth (bought used to save money) for once they are bigger. Since I'm having two boys, I'm also making/buying cloth wipes so I can avoid pee mishaps during changing time. You can also buy wash cloths in bulk that perform a similar function, but I've priced making my own or buying used as cheaper.

Congrats!

Not all of these are "parenting" books, but they get at various aspects of what you might be looking for/need to help you prepare (in no particular order):

• Bringing up Bebe - Tells the parenting story of an American expat. living in Paris, and how she observed different parenting techniques between American and French families, and how that plays out in children's behavior. It is a fun "experience" story and I think it lends some interesting insights.
  
  
• Pregnancy, childbirth, and the newborn - I think this is the most informative, neutral, pregnancy book out there. It really tries to present all sides of any issues. I can't recommend this book enough. From here, you could explore the options that best fit your needs (e.g. natural birth, etc.)
  
  
• Taking Charge of Your Fertility - Look into this if you find you are having trouble conceiving, or if you want to conceive right away. Really great tips on monitoring the body to pinpoint the most fertile times and stay healthy before becoming pregnant.
  
  
• The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding - This is published by Le Leche League and really has everything you need to know about breastfeeding, pumping, etc. After baby is born, kellymom.com is a good resource for quickly referring to for breastfeeding questions later, but seriously don't skip this book - it is great!
  
  
• Dr. Spock's Baby and Childcare - Really comprehensive and probably the most widely read book about every aspect of child health and development (and also a lot of what to expect as parents.)
  
  
• NurtureShock - by far the most interesting book I've ever read in my life. Basically sums up research on child development to illuminate how many parents and educators ignore research based evidence on what works well for raising children. If you read nothing else in this book, at least read the sleep chapter!
  
  
• What's Going on in There? - This book was written by a neuroscientist after becoming a mom about brain development from pregnancy through about age 5. It has some of the same research as NurtureShock but goes way more in depth. I found it fascinating, but warning, I could see how it could scare some people with how much detail it goes into (like how many people feel that "What to Expect When Expecting" is scary.)
  
  
• Happiest Baby on the Block - There is a book, but really you can/should just watch the DVD. It has 5 very specific techniques for calming a fussy baby. Here are some recent reddit comments about it. Someday I will buy Dr. Karp a drink - love that man!
  
  
• The Wholesome Baby Food Guide - this book is based on a website which has some of the same information, but the book goes way more in depth about how to introduce food, with particular steps, to set baby up for a lifetime of good (non picky) eating habits.
  
  
• A variety of sleep books, so you can decide which method you might be comfortable with (I believe the Baby Whisperer and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child are pretty middle of the road, but you can look into bedsharing (The Dr. Sear's books) or the other end (Babywise) as discussed in other comments already here, etc. - these last two links I am letting my personal bias show - sorry, but I just think it is good to know all sides of an issue.)
  
  
• Huffington Post Parents section often has "experience" articles, and browsing subs like this can help with that too.
  
  
• A lot of people love the Bill Cosby Fatherhood book too, but my husband and I haven't read it, so I can't say for sure what is in it, but I imagine it is "experiences" based
  
  
• The Wonder Weeks - describes when and how babies reach developmental milestones, what to expect from those, and how to help your baby with them.
  
  Edit: I wanted to add brief descriptions and links (I was on my phone yesterday when I posted this.) I also added in the last book listed.
  
  I have literally read hundreds of parenting/child dev. books. I consider these to be the best of the best in terms of books that cover each of their respective topics in depth, from almost all perspectives, in as neutral of a way as possible, so that you can then make decisions about which more extreme (I don't mean that in a bad way) parenting styles might work for you and your family (e.g. attachment parenting, natural vs. medicated birth, etc.)
  

I have really struggled with this myself. I am considered high risk because of pre-existing type 1 diabetes, but I am exceptionally healthy, have an almost-normal A1C, and am doing everything within my power to make this a very healthy pregnancy. Thus far, it has worked. Baby is measuring smack in the 50th percentile and there is not a single indication of anything amiss. Even my OB has admitted that I am healthier than most of his "normal" patients. Personally, I want to be in a hospital because if something goes wrong (like I bleed out or have some horrific complication), I want medical staff to be able to assist. These things are rare, but they happen. But, I am doing everything I can now to have as normal and intervention-free birth as possible. Here are some of the things we are doing (note: I have not actually given birth yet, so have no idea if these things are going to help me achieve that goal):

1. I read the book Natural Hospital Birth. It has some great tips for dealing with a "natural" birth in the hospital environment.
   
   
2. I plan on refusing certain things and not following certain rules. So far, I am refusing cervical checks. They increase your risk of infection and premature rupture of the membranes and have no real benefit. If your membranes rupture too early, you can end up with an induction. Inductions when you're not dilated and more likely to end in c-section. When I get to the hospital, I have no qualms refusing to follow certain policies that have limited benefit and can cause more problems (e.g., not eating and drinking while in labor, allowing hospital staff to manage my blood sugar/insulin when I know I can do a better job, refusing constant monitoring so that I can move around and keep things progressing, etc). I am definitely still worried about the hospital part, but I am practicing in my head as much as possible.
   
   
3. I am learning to say NO (see #2). I plan on exercising this ability once in the hospital. If there is no clear medical indication for it, I plan on saying NO to pitocin (which is given routinely for no medical reason other than to speed things up), artificial rupturing of my membranes, cervical sweeps, epidural, etc. I actually really have to try and avoid an epidural because of a previous complication from one. I know this is all going to be hard, but I am preparing myself and my SO as best I can.
   
   
4. We hired a doula. The hope is that if I am able to go into labor naturally, she can assist with pain management at home and limiting our time in the hospital. Once I'm in labor, I am going to try and avoid the hospital for as long as possible. The doula we hired is also a trained midwife assistant so she can do things like cervical checks when I'm in labor to help us figure out the ideal time to go to the hospital. If you can wait until about 7cm or so to be admitted, they are going to push far fewer interventions. I know this will be hard, but again, we are trying to prepare as best we can. We also have a fetal doppler at home so we can do things like monitor the baby's heart rate on our own.
   
   
5. The big thing with OBs is that they have all these rules about not going past 40 weeks. This is, to some degree, absurd because 40 weeks is just an average. But if you get past 40 weeks, many OBs will start to push for the induction (or tell you their practice "requires" one). I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to speed this process up. I walk at least 3 miles a day, swim, do Pilates, and am taking some supplements that supposedly help with ensuring you go in labor a little faster or more smoothly. Yes, some of this is up to mother nature and whatever the baby needs, but if I can safely help things along, I am going to do that. While this part is beginning to feel like a full-time job of its own, I at least feel like I'm doing everything in my power to make this happen the way I would prefer (and I'm in really good shape for someone who's almost 9 months pregnant!!)
   
   
6. I have found an OB who at least doesn't fight me too much. Yes, he is still an OB and has his beliefs that cervical checks are necessary and there's nothing wrong with inductions. But he at least (so far) seems to respect my opinion and desire not to do certain things. And he claims to be fairly low-intervention. He has been very supportive of me staying at home as long as possible when laboring (that really surprised me). He actually told me flat out that if I don't want interventions, I should try and stay at home as long as humanly possible because once in the hospital, it gets harder to fight things.
   
   Through all this, I am trying to remember that labor and birth is unpredictable. I very well may end up with a c-section or induction because of things outside my control. While I have done all the above things, I am trying to be OK with needing intervention if it's necessary. I am trying to remind myself that the end result (a healthy, happy baby) is the ultimate goal.
   
   Personally, I have lost a lot of confidence in the medical profession throughout my pregnancy. Doctors do NOT know everything and I have learned how to assert myself and (politely) refuse certain things. I have spent a great deal of time reading posts on here and doing my own research about the birthing process so that I can make as informed a decision as possible during labor and delivery. Information is very powerful and NO ONE can force you to do something you do not believe is in your (or your baby's) best interest.

One of my wife's friends wrote this one...not a bad book, I suppose. Lots of good information about pregnancy, things that are good to know from the dad's perspective.

The one your wife is going to read, and you should also read, is the classic What to Expect book. That's sort of the "pregnancy bible", lots of really good information in there, most women read it.

Another one that I really got a lot out of is If Your Kid Eats This Book, Everything Will Be OK. That's written by an ER doctor who talks about how to tell the normal illnesses and maladies that aren't worrisome from the ones that you actually do need to be concerned about. It's saved my wife and I from a handful of ER/Doctor's Office visits.

The final one is the one I recommend over anything else. If you buy no other books/dvds, buy this one. It might save your life, sanity, and/or marriage:

The Happiest Baby On The Block

I'd recommend both the book and the DVD, but if you only get one, get the DVD. Hell, many libraries carry it.

Any and every parent I know who has watched it basically thanks Harvey Karp for making the first 3 months entirely bearable. It teaches you how to soothe a screaming infant, quickly and calmly...it makes for a happier child, and happier parents. Buy it, or rent it, or whatever...just make damned sure you see it before d-day.

Outside of that, a quality swing that plugs in (not one that runs on batteries...you will spend the difference in cost between the two on batteries) can be great. Our little girl, along with a few of our friends kids, all loved the Ocean Wonders one by Fisher Price...although for whatever reason, it seems to be ridiculously expensive on Amazon. I believe we paid 150 or 200 for it brand new. Worth every penny...cheap swings are just that: cheap. They aren't comfortable, they aren't well made, and they don't work for particularly picky infants (e.g. my daughter). I have a few friends who had more laid-back kids who have said that the cheaper swings work, so if money is tight that's something you might wait on until you meet the child:)

For most baby stuff, you get what you pay for. The stuff that works is going to be expensive because it works. I tell most of my friends that my experience is that you buy the best rated thing you can afford (just because it's expensive doesn't necessarily mean it's good, always find product reviews!).

Anyhow, through the pregnancy, the best thing you can do is just be interested and involved. Try to remember that your wife/partner might seem to lose her mind a few times, and it's mostly hormones...so let the crazy slide a little bit more than usual.

Other than that, just square yourself with the idea that your old life is done, and you now have a new one. Everything changes with kids, and the more OK you are with that, the better you will be as a dad. It's the best change you could ask for, and most dads will say that they wouldn't go back to the life of video games and nightly partying for anything in the world now that they are dads. It's worth giving all of that up a million times over. But don't fight it. Don't tell your wife that she can handle being home with her one-month old alone because you're stressed and need some time with your boys. Don't say that you can't get up in the middle of the night because you have an early tee time. Don't tell her that you shouldn't have to help clean up the kitchen because you worked all day.

That kind of stuff comes naturally to most guys, and I certainly hope it does for you. You find that when you just let the change envelop you, instead of trying to shoehorn your old lifestyle into your new life, things are easier and much more fun. The change is good, and it is inevitable. Fighting it just makes you, your wife, and your child miserable.

We did:

Four-week "comprehensive childbirth" class at our hospital, which I really liked and am glad I took. The instructors were all either nurses or former nurses at our hospital and were familiar with our hospital's policies and standard practices, so I now feel very comfortable with what might happen during our birth; also, it turns out our hospital is pretty awesome. It was also actually some nice bonding time with my husband, especially when we practiced having him coach me.

One night breastfeeding class, also at the hospital. Informative, but not necessarily anything I couldn't have learned on my own. It was good to hear about the breastfeeding support that my hospital offers, but I suspect I would have found out about all of that anyway during my stay.

Watched the DVD series Laugh and Learn about Childbirth. It was nice to have a second perspective, and there is so much to know about childbirth that there was material covered in the videos that wasn't covered in our class. The instructor has an interesting style which we found to be hit or miss, tonally, but overall it was a good use of time. We also have Laugh and Learn About Breastfeeding, but haven't watched it yet.

I also read (I've been to the library more in the past two months than in the previous two years...):

• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (highly recommend; very empowering)
  
• Husband Coached Childbirth (The Bradley Method) (seemed a bit dated, even though it was an recent edition, and a bit "out-there" for me)
  
• The Official Lamaze Guide: Giving Birth with Confidence (recommend)
  
• Pregnancy Sucks: What to Do When Your Miracle Makes You Miserable (a fun and quick read; more helpful for general pregnancy than labor and delivery)
  
• Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy: From Doctors Who Are Parents, Too! (also more helpful for general pregnancy)
  
  My husband is reading The Birth Partner, Third Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions, and likes it so far.
  
  I still have HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing; The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth (Sears Parenting Library); and Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds on my reading list. About three weeks to go; we'll see how far I get.

tl;dr: had it for 8 years, out in Dec, pregos in Feb, start taking a prenatal now, don't stress out too bad

Hi OP! It really causes some anxiety, right?? I can totally relate. I had my mirena for 8 years (I know, I know) so when I had it removed in December when we were ready to TTC, I was super stressed. (Like worrying for months before removal that I was screwed, but not in the good, let's make a baby screwed kind of way.) My first period after removal arrived right on time, but it was really short and light. So I started taking a daily baby aspirin along with a prenatal, tracking my cycle, trying to get an idea for when I should ovulate, and read a couple of good books to help me understand the whole conception process. (OMG. The things I know now. Creating life is a goddamn miracle.) I estimated the best window, and got busy every couple days during it. 👍🏼 No dice for January. Period came right on time and that shit was heavy and lasted a goddamn week. (Like full on, this is why I went on the mirena, hurry up and get pregnant so no more periods, I need a menstruating hut so I can deal with this in a safe space, PERIOD.) Afterwards, I went back to tracking my ovulation and made sure my husband and I had some fun around the right time. "Haha," we joked, "wouldn't it be hilarious if we conceived on Valentines Day and were totally that couple, lol lol lol." 🙄

So, now I'm 14 weeks and a few days. Everything is going well so far 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼although, did have some minor spotting and cramping around 6 weeks. I'm still taking the prenatal, but quit the baby aspirin after The Period. (Which was good, because apparently it's not a good thing to take once you're actually pregnant. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

About the baby aspirin: I read some studies that showed it can increase blood flow and help thicken the uterine lining. I reasoned that my body was probably like "lol, what's a uterine lining" after 8 years on the mirena and never getting a period during those 8 years. But, I am NOT a doctor or a nurse and I did NOT consult a doctor or a nurse before hand. So please don't take that as advice.

Here is the advice I would give you: have fun. Have so much fun. Have all the fun. Enjoy the process. Have sex because it is fun and helps you and your partner connect and become closer. Honestly, I'm a little disappointed that things happened so fast for us, cause a couple more months might have been good for us. Also start taking a prenatal now!

But. If you're like me and need to understand how TF this all works, read some books. My sister gave me these books: https://www.amazon.com/Impatient-Womans-Guide-Getting-Pregnant/dp/1451620705 and https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0062326031/ref=pd_aw_fbt_14_img_2/130-9845686-7028617?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=AM8QGX8PCVXKVWT3V6J8, both of which clarified all the things for me. I also bought this OTK (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00E5LAXZW/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1494602119&sr=8-6&keywords=Easy%40Home) because I am not a patient woman.

I'm rooting for you and I hope you come back in the right amount of time for you with good news! 😘😘😘

I know a lot of people love it, and I do think it has tons of useful information in it, but I was never a fan of What to Expect.... I just never liked the tone of it.

As far as development, pregnancy issues, etc., The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy was the most useful of the pregnancy books. If the baby will be breastfeed, A Nursing Mother's Companion was pretty useful.

Websites were also useful, babycenter.com has some videos and the pregnancy tracker, as moosen25 mentioned, but unless you are big into drama, beware the forums. Some of the smaller threads, like the first timers for a particular birth month are less drama-filled, and I found it reassuring to see/share what other people who were at the same place in their pregnancy were experiencing.

I think the biggest pieces of advice I have are:

• 1. You will be overwhelmed with information. There is so much out there, just remember, books and websites have detailed information about every possible little thing that can go wrong. In reality, there is a very, very small chance that any of the horrible things you read about will happen.
     
     
• 2. Really think about the kind of birth experience that you want, and be open to the possibility that as much as you plan for what you want to have happen, you need to accept that it may not go as planned.
     
     
• 3. If you are thinking of a home birth with a midwife, read other peoples birth stories and experiences with labor, but read up on having an epidural, inductions, and C-Sections as well, because it is better to be able to prepare yourself beforehand in case any of those other scenarios become necessary. You will find from reading that one intervention usually leads to requiring more interventions and increases the probability of needing a C-Section.
     
     
• 4. Find a doctor that you feel comfortable with, but if you are having a child in a hospital, prepare yourself for the possibility that the person you have been seeing for nine months may not be the person who delivers your child. If you would like an additional advocate in the hospital and someone to help with labor look into a doula. I can't offer much advice as far as using a midwife, but I'm sure some of the other parents can help you out with ways to find a great midwife.
     
     Finally, congratulations. Take some time and let it sink in, and enjoy it.
     
     Edit: One more thing...before the pregnancy gets to far advanced take a vacation with your SO and have some special alone time before you become a trio.
     
     Being a parent is great, to me, my son is the absolute best thing in the world, but don't forget to take some alone time to be with your SO every once in awhile.

First of all, congratulations! And come over to r/babybumps! A lot of questions you might not think to ask are being discussed there already.

The best way to tell your other half is... just tell him! Do it in person, and at a time where the two of you have some time to talk and be together, and do it without setting any sort of expectations or mood. Likely he will be a bit shocked at first, but unless your relationship wasn't meant to be, he will warm up to the idea (maybe even faster than you do, who knows!).

I'm 35 weeks pregnant now... I can tell you that as your pregnancy progresses, things will get more "real" mentally so don't be afraid when you experience some serious mood swings and shifts in your thoughts about the pregnancy. It might not be until your first ultrasound... or it might not be until you look into your baby's eyes for you to feel that rush of motherly love. Even women who got pregnant on purpose (like me) find themselves doubting sometimes. It's all normal.

Prenatal vitamins is a good start. Honestly, visiting an OB this early won't do much good, and in fact they often don't see women until they are at least 12 weeks (because many pregnancies miscarry in those first few weeks). At a 12 week appointment, you might do an ultrasound to confirm your due date (but if you have been charting, you probably already know exactly when you conceived), and you can start asking your OB any questions you have. But until you do the research, you might find that being under the care of a midwife, or giving birth at a birthing center (or at home) is a better fit for you. It won't hurt to see an OB, of course, but OB's are primarily surgeons so they might not give you all the support you need. Regardless, don't rely on any kind of medical caregiver 100%; take charge of your own pregnancy and birth and do the research! Once you do the research, you will be able to decide what type of birthing class is right for you (I highly recommend taking one... I took a Hypnobabies course and was very satisfied with the large amount of information they gave me, and also the confidence I feel as I get closer to my birthing day).

Here are some common book and movie recommendations:

Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth (she is the leading authority on natural birth)

Your Best Birth (and their film you can find on Netflix, The Business of Being Born)

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth (good if you like a lot of scientific discussion on birth options)

The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. (I own this book and it makes me feel really good to have it on hand when my baby gets here... so much info!)

My daughter was born almost 11 months ago.

I felt the same anxiety - trepidation - dread that you're going through right now. Your fiancee might be feeling similarly but worried about talking about it - or she might have times where she will feel that way. It's normal to be that worried. Before this, you really only had to worry about you - for the most part. of course, I'm sure you and your partner take care of each other but ultimately you are both adults capable of independence. Now you're going to be responsible for a new human that's tiny, extremely vulnerable, and it is up to you and your fiancee to keep the human alive and healthy. After several months they'll get older and then they'll get older again. each time they get a little stronger or more physically capable, they'll have new ways that they will accidentally almost kill themselves, and you need to not let that happen. Of course that's terrifying.

But it's amazing. Sign up and go to some birth classes with your partner. Not everything was obvious but a lot of it will come to you when your baby does. You'll quickly become comfortable with holding a baby. You'll have a lot of practice in changing diapers, wrapping swaddles, etc. and it will get easier. If you feel like you are really worried, don't be afraid of finding a therapist to talk to it about. During the pregnancy, try to prepare everything to be ready about two weeks earlier than you might need it, just in case you end up giving birth early. Remember to enjoy these last few months of childlessness (and to forgive easily). Obviously your fiancee can't drink or go to smokey bars, but it's about to get a lot more difficult to go to a movie, or dinner, or really anywhere without planning it in advance.

Will everything work out? It'll be good enough. You probably won't feel like you have enough money, or enough time, or enough sleep. But it'll work out.

Here's a couple other tips if you want something specific:

• Here is a great book for dads-to-be. This helped me learn a lot. It's one of the only books for made specifically for "pregnant dads" that is this thorough and isn't effectively a joke book.
  
• It is definitely worth going to one of those birthing classes. Ours was 5 or 6 weeks - one 90-minute class each week.
  
• If your lady is getting morning sickness, maybe set her up with a sick-bag or two - I made two for my wife (one for her car, one for her desk at work). It included some crackers and a couple other simple snacks, a few barf bags (a couple trash bags and if you really want to be fancy, these barf bags are nice), some mints and gum, a bottle of water, and a couple hair bands to tie her hair up. The bag was something like this one but i'm sure you can find others that would work fine.
  
• Don't forget to take time to enjoy each other. I'm not necessarily talking about sex, since that might not be something you're both interested in now. It could be cuddling or whatever, but it could also just be going on dates, having a nice dinner together, etc. Before the kid and after the kid is born, don't forget to at least pause life for a couple minutes and appreciate each other.
  
• If you're in the US and near a Costco or Sam's Club - and you aren't already a member - strongly consider membership. The money you'll save on diapers, wipes, and formula (as needed) will make up for the cost of the membership pretty quickly.

I worry about what it is going to be like being pregnant and vegan all the time, since I figure it's going to happen sooner than I think! So, I tend to remember some of the resources that I come across.

Disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist, doctor, or medical professional, so these are suggestions for further resources, not scholarly advice.

When you say your diet is "pretty simple," does that mean simple as in a lot of "whole" foods where most of the preparation is done at home? If this is the case, eating a varied, calorically-sufficient diet will do a lot of good--that "well-planned" diet thing. Of course, processed isn't necessarily a bad thing--remember that basics like fortified nondairy milk, tofu, and even seitan are "processed." However, each of these can still be healthy (especially because baked tofu, rice, and veggies is easy and healthy for those nights you/your wife won't want to cook).

As far as supplements, B12 is of course the big one. For a complete look at general vegan nutrition, and some discussion both of vegan pregnancy/raising vegan kids, take a look at Vegan for Life, which is an accessible but science-based look at how to manage macro and micronutrient consumption while being vegan (including a look at supplements.)

You may want to take omega-3, but consult your doctor; I think research is pretty clear these days that they're good for you, but YMMV, especially during pregnancy. Ovega-3 has both DHA and EPA from algae sources; the conversion rate of ALA omega-3s, found in plants, is pretty low and not well understood, so flaxseed oil (while great) is probably not going to suffice.

Colleen Patrick Goudreau discusses supplementation and makes some suggestions for resources.

Pocket reference! The Vegan Guide to Pregnancy is pretty well-reviewed, from what I know, and I hear it recommended. Also, poking around Amazon from there will help you find some additional references. Probably worth it to have a few books on hand, as well as the internet.

Other thoughts:

• Find a supportive doctor! (This you'll probably have to Google.) While I/Reddit/the rest of the internet may kind of know what's going on, a doctor who knows you and your wife and isn't sneering at your diet will be invaluable. Veganism has become (somewhat more) mainstream lately, so you may be able to find resources for that.
  
  
• The people telling you/your wife that the baby needs eggs, milk and dairy probably (at least sort of) mean well, and everybody has a way they did it when they were pregnant, and just look at their little angel--it must be the best way! But most of them probably just don't know any better. So try not to get too upset with them (though if they carry on in such a way for the duration of the pregnancy, no one would blame you.) You can tell them that your doctor disagrees, your wife is in good health, the baby is fine, or something along these lines, and if they continue to harangue you, end the conversation. Arguing about it probably won't end well.
  
  
• Final note: The American Dietetic Association (now the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics), which is a large network of qualified medical professionals, publicly takes the position that a well-planned vegan or vegetarian diet is appropriate for all people in all stages of life, including pregnancy and infancy. The full statement is here. Long story short? The science/research is on your side here. Do your due diligence and get good prenatal care, and you, your wife, and baby will be fine.
  
  
  Good luck, and congratulations!

first of all, may i just congratulate on ur lovely babies! <hugs> so adorable <3

u must feel a certain joy being a mother for being so brave! & what you are experiencing may be one of the most challenging & overwhelming phases in your life. more so if this is the first time being a mother.

i must emphasize time & again how important sleep is to us bipolar bears. lack of sleep alone can bring about hallucinations, unwanted thoughts & episodes.

> I feel like no one could ever love me, or think I'm pretty or desirable

what you are feeling is typical of bipolar & its symptoms. we tend to have the poorest self image of ourselves during the lowest moments.

>I have to be mommy to my children (without losing patience, and giving the love they deserve and need

i understand u've got a LOT on ur plate @the moment, but please prioritize first so that it won't overwhelm you. Your mental (overall) health is the most important & that of your children.


> I have to work, a lot (giving direction and making decisions for a lot of people)

Your work is important as well in keeping financial stability for your family, but please focus on the first two, so that you can better accomplish your goals & maintain an equilibrium.

You are desirable just based on the fact that you are a wonderful mother of the children & that alone should speak volumes about yourself to him, eventho he may not be saying out loud.

just take things slow. being a mother is one of the most rewarding experiences a human could ever feel. the first year is probably the most challenging & overwhelming to not only those that are bipolar. there are actually guides to help u with the difficulties of parenting for the new mothers (parents) http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-First-Second-Edition/dp/0761152121 feel free to PM for more details on the book.

i wish you all the best. & remember you can do this! after all, you've been on the right track, as you've mentioned. :-D

I took baby aspirin in this pregnancy (currently ~27 weeks along) and my last pregnancy, which resulted in a live birth (who's almost 2 now :). I did not take it in either of my first two pregnancies, both of which resulted in miscarriages; HOWEVER, I made many changes and took many supplements, so I can't say that the baby aspirin, specifically made a difference.

In case you're curious, here's a brief run-down of what I take, supp-wise: progesterone (200mg x twice a day up to Week 10, suppository), baby aspirin, COQ10 (400 mg/day), fish oil, prenatal, calcium + vitamin D, magnesium.

I also eat mostly mediterranean (was a healthy eater to start with though), have one or two cups of coffee a day (up to 200mg of caffeine)m quit drinking 4 months before conceiving, don't use drugs, limit plastic (e.g., plastic plates, cups, tupperware, etc.), and try to use low-chemical personal care products (e.g., shampoos, soaps, lotions, etc.) and housecleaning products.

Lastly, I was very into high-intensity exercise (a great stress reliever for me!), but lowered the intensity a bit prior to my first successful pregnancy (still exercise regularly--just less intense--more walking, yoga, less jumping, etc.)--and try to meditate regularly as well. This hasn't negatively affected my fitness as far as I can tell and it's also helped me with energy-management (for me, pregnancy is a VERY energy-consuming process, and I felt much less tired/run-down when I moderated my exercise intensity a bit...but every body is different, so you should absolutely do what feels best for YOU :)

Again, not sure if ANY of these made the difference, but they's certainly helped my mindset and made me feel like I was doing whatever I could to support a healthy pregnancy after my miscarriages. If you're curious, I rec. the book, It Starts With the Egg (https://www.amazon.com/Starts-Egg-Pregnant-Naturally-Miscarriage/dp/0991126904) for evidence-based interventions that you can do to support a healthy pregnancy (these are mostly geared toward IVF folks, but as a non-fertility treatment TTC person, I found it extremely helpful!). Also, I'm a science/research geek, so I loved this website as well: https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/home?authuser=0

Hope this helps and good luck!

EDIT: Can't believe I forgot this: I also take 600mg a day of n-acetylcysteine, which in at least one study has been showed to DRAMATICALLY decrease the risk of miscarriage for RPL. I honestly don't know why more doctors don't know about this or rec. it to their RPL patients (study here: https://www.rbmojournal.com/article/S1472-6483(10)60322-7/pdf)

I'm 17 weeks with my first, so I don't have personal experience to draw from yet - but I'm going for it with as much preparation as possible. I'm an over-preparer. :D

We're going with CNMs (certified nurse-midwives) at a birth center. Because it's an out-of-hospital birth with hospital transfer for emergencies, there's very few interventions available for normal births. Throughout even the first trimester they've heavily stressed preparation. Here are some things they've emphasized:

1. Staying active. "Labor is like a marathon - it's important to have stamina, strength, and good aerobic capacity." They advised me to exercise most days for at least 30 minutes, especially walking or jogging and swimming. I suck at aerobic activity, but I've been doing my best to keep up with it. I'm also doing deep squats (weighted and unweighted) to keep my legs and pelvic floor in shape.
   
   
2. Keeping tabs on the recommended weight gain. I don't actually put a ton of stock in BMI because it doesn't take into account your composition (I was lifting heavy beforehand and had built up some decent muscle), but it seems like a decent tool here - the USDA has a good set of charts for weight gain based on BMI.
   
   
3. Taking classes. Our CNMs recommended Bradley (partner coached childbirth). I don't know exactly how helpful it will be, but at least we'll get to connect with other like-minded moms and dads to be.
   
   
4. Reading up. I've really liked Ina May Gaskin's book. She provides so many personal experience stories, which really helps to put me in the frame of mind that not only is it possible, but the experience can be beautiful and transforming... and that approach seems comforting. Her approach is heavily biased against "needless" hospital practices, so you can take it with a grain of salt if you like. For more personal stories, there's also her older book Spiritual Midwifery.

Hey man. I was (and still am - 9 weeks to go!) in a similar spot. Everyone is offering good advice, but I would recommend checking out a few books to get your brain thinking about the right things (primarily logistically but also emotionally):

We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook - short/easy week-by-week dissection of the pregnancy and what you should be doing to prepare along the way.

Commando Dad: Basic Training: How to Be an Elite Dad or Carer from Birth to Three Years - another short/easy read that reads like a field manual and is actually written by a navy seal. While the first book above is more focused on pregnancy, this book is more focused on what the hell to do after pregnancy.

Eat, Sleep, Poop: A Common Sense Guide to Your Baby's First Year - Although it's written by a pediatrician, it's a very simple read and very practical. Covers less logistics and more focused on health, development, sleeping, eating, etc.

These books will help put you in control of the situation and will help you lead the charge for you and your wife.

I also definitely recommend attending every prenatal appointment with your wife (and lining up a doctor ASAP - first appt should be around Week 6), as well as whatever pregnancy/baby classes your hospital offers.

As far as gear, primary items are bassinet, crib, car seat, stroller, bouncer. But you have plenty of time to figure that stuff out. Check out Lucie's List and of course Amazon for helpful reviews. BuyBuyBaby can also be a good resource - they have in-store registry consultants who will give you an entire tour of the store and provide you with some helpful advice. Both BuyBuyBaby and Amazon have 15% off end-of-registry coupons to help you save toward the end.

Feel free to hit me up with any specific questions :)

Your body needs nutrients, not “meat” or “dairy”! That’s very bizarre and very behind the times on those nutritionists, how annoying.

I’m vegan at 4 months, no problems whatsoever so far. My midwife basically asked me right off the bat at 8 weeks how much calcium and protein I’m getting and then said “you’re obviously doing great and have a very good handle on everything, there’s nothing to worry about here.”

My first recommendation is to try plugging what you eat into Cronometer to see how you’re already doing. Just do a typical day, or better yet log for a week to see how you do on average over several days. This was how I knew what to tell my midwife and how I know what gaps to watch for (eg, I don’t always get a ton of potassium, which is common for Americans but like who even knows that?).

If you google “vegan pregnancy” a few books come up, available on amazon - I haven’t checked any out myself because I’ve heard they’re mostly pretty introductory, but I’m sure they can help with some of the initial planning and everything. I’ve heard good things specifically about The Vegan Pregnancy Survival Guide. I know I’ve seen some blog recommendations around too, hopefully someone else has some good ones to add but I’ll hunt around bc I really should have checked them out by now myself too!

For supplements just like as a general idea, I personally take Ritual prenatals (that’s my referral code FYI for a discount just in case but can totally just take off the share part too) with a vegan vitamin C gummy (to aid iron absorption) and vegan probiotics in the morning. At night I take choline and vegan DHA/EPA, and a TUMS for calcium if I didn’t have enough broccoli and spinach during the day (the Ritual prenatal doesn’t have calcium because it interferes with iron absorption, and it doesn’t really have enough choline or EPA). That’s like very specific to me wanting to micromanage what I take because full multivitamins make me super nauseous, there are plenty of vegan full spectrum prenatals that would be way cheaper and easier 🤣

People love to give advice on sleeping patterns, how to take care of baby, what baby needs and they love to build diaper cakes. But no one really prepares you for how to take care of yourself and I’ve found that’s where my biggest deficits are despite months of meticulous planning. So the books I like focus on pregnancy and post partum transitions as well. Happy healthy momma, happier healthier baby.

The Fourth Trimester

The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality https://www.amazon.com/dp/1611804000/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_sT1wCbXZWZY32

And I’m currently reading Strong As A Mother. I really like it so far. It has three sections, pregnancy, the first year, and continuing motherhood. I’m having some struggles with mood and having a two week old alone since my husband is always on trips for work and that I didn’t have a great birth experience. Lots of help from other moms and their stories

Strong As a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of YOU! https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250105587/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_TW1wCb8KTC08A

I got the expectant father for my husband. He referenced it a lot the first half of my pregnancy when doctors appointments were more spread out and he was like wtf is happening to your nipples, why are you eating that, why are you crying? You know, stuff that you don’t always anticipate or think about

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be https://www.amazon.com/dp/0789212137/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_mY1wCb9XR6Q7P

Good luck and congratulations!

Hey OP. First time dad here. My little girl is 8 days old. I saw my dad every other weekend growing up. So 52 days a year with your old man is not a lot of time. Especially when he’d end up working on your weekends anyway.

When I found out the wife was pregnant I was in your shoes. Scared. How do I be a good dad when I never really had one? I am one of the first of my friends to be a dad.

The answer for me is partially trust your instincts and trust your partner. Parenting is a team effort. So far it has been more me supporting my wife than actually caring for the child. Why? Because she’s 8 days old. All she does is sleep, poop, and eat. Sleeping is obviously pretty hands off, unless she’s rolled onto her belly. Poops I can help with, diaper duty gets me involved with my little girl, helps reinforce that I am responsible for her in every way.

It’s eating where my views changed. I’m a man, I do not posses milk making breasts for the child. Research has shown that breastfeeding babies is the best option for them, and that means straight from the breast. If you try to bottle feed (even if it’s breast milk in the bottle) it could interfere with how your baby patches on to mom. All that is a long way to say I sit and watch for 66% of my babies life so far. So I take this time to try to be the best husband I can.

I’m on paternity leave right now so I have time. I offer to get my wife anything and everything I can to make her comfortable, so she can feed the baby and not worry. So she can also nap when the baby is asleep.

I don’t have much insight on dance classes, or her making friends, or dating. What I do have is a week’s experience and I can tell you with the upmost confidence that you need to be there for your spouse as much as your baby.

Also I recommend a book “The Expectant Father” it has gone good insight into what your spouse is going through and what you can do.

TLDR: Trust your gut, do what you can, accept what you can’t, and be there for your wife.

I’m expecting my second, and the “company line” around here for any request to see baby is, “we’ll let you know when we’re ready for visitors.” It reassures them that they’ll be allowed over, but keeps it on OUR terms. My MIL, who is pretty great most of the time, came over nearly every day for the first two weeks when my first kid was born. She usually brought food, and was pleasant to visit with, but I was tired, breastfeeding, sore, and just generally not in a good state for visiting. This time, I’ll be all that, and chasing a toddler, so boundaries are a top priority.

As far as being a good dad- you’ll be great. My husband has never been around babies, and his own dad isn’t very hands-on. He walked into parenthood with no practical experience. Between my own experience level, a few good parenting books like this, and realizing that babies aren’t as fragile as he thought, he’s practically a pro at this point. Our goal has always been to make sure he’s as capable a parent as I am, and I think we’ve reached that goal. Our daughter adores him, he knows what he’s doing, and he’s honestly better at getting her to go to sleep at night. I just went out of town for a weekend, leaving the two of them home alone, and everything was perfectly fine. My daughter was less upset about me being gone than she was about him leaving for work on Monday morning. (That stung a bit.) My point is- you’re already focusing on being a good dad, and you will be. What you don’t know yet, you’ll learn, and you’ll build a great bond with your kid.

MIL can suck eggs.

My original plan was to take a test when my husband was at work, and then I was going to get the book "We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook" by Adrian Kulp and stick it in a bubble envelope with the pregnancy test and then make it look like he received a random package (he orders books all the time and then forgets, so we get surprise books every now and then).

I ended up testing earlier than I was originally planning to (I tested at 10DPO but I wanted to wait a couple more days) because I was going out to have brunch with my girls and I needed to know if I could partake in mimosas that morning. It ended up being a squinter but I wanted to show my husband a more clearly positive test, so I stashed it in my nightstand and went off to brunch, swinging by the drug store to get some FRERs, and also the bookstore to get that book.

Since I had already flushed my FMU, I thought I could just get home after brunch (I was going to be gone for about 4 hours) and sneakily take one of the FRERs and then continue with my original plan. Well, at brunch I just couldn't hold my pee and had to go relieve myself which reset the clock. In hindsight, I should have taken the test there at the restaurant, but I had left the tests in my car because I didn't want to accidentally flash the box to my friends.

Now I had to wait until the evening time to take another test, so I ended up just telling my husband when I got home. I just couldn't hang out in the house with him for 4 hours and not let him know I thought I was pregnant. I went up to him and was like, 'So... I think we were successful.' and showed him the squinter that was in my nightstand. Part of the reason I wanted to show him a clearer test was because I didn't want him to doubt the test... I've seen a lot of videos where the woman has to convince her partner that yes, any 2nd line means it's positive, no mater how light it is, but thankfully my husband was not like that. He knew it was a positive right away. That evening I took a test and my husband and I just looked together. Actually I took a lot more tests that evening because it still didn't feel real to me, lol. It was actually kind of nice to take the tests and look at them together.

Oh yeah, and after getting a couple positives with the FRERs, I just gave him the book.

Edit: Added a link to the book.

I'll try to answer as many of these as best I can from the other side (just had our son in July).

1. My understanding is that at home pregnancy tests are fairly reliable. It's unlikely it's a false positive but you'll know for sure tomorrow.
   
   
2. It is normal to be both nervous and excited. My wife and I had planned to try for our son for a while before we started and when we got the confirmation I was both thrilled and incredibly nervous. It's a big change so it's totally normal to have some concerns. But it's a really great change as well.
   
   
3. As to questions at the doctor, we mostly asked about what the steps are from the doctor's perspective for going through the pregnancy. The Bump has a list of questions to ask at your first prenatal visit here that you can use as a guide to start if you want but depending on how early it is there may not be a ton of information for you at this point. You'll have plenty of time to ask extra questions at future visits too. I'd recommend starting a Google Doc with any questions you think up randomly so you'll have them all somewhere when you go to the doctor. As far as planning for a baby, for me just learning about the process of pregnancy was a good place to start. You'll need to look at finances, sleeping arrangements and other stuff too at some point but a good first place to start for me was what's going to be potentially happening for the next 9 months. I found The Birth Partner and The Expectant Father to be great resources for me to understand what was happening and how I could help.
   
   
4. Whatever you're feeling is appropriate. It's totally ok to be nervous but you don't need to freak out too much. You'll be able to handle whatever comes your way on this. The fact that your already reaching out for info is a good sign you'll be able to figure out what you need when you need.
   
   Congrats!

I think you're probably over-thinking things too much. Just tell friends and family that you felt like the moment was right. I think the only real problem would be is if you've been telling your friends and family NOT to get married and NOT to have kids. But otherwise, I can't imagine that they wouldn't be happy for you.

Here's my story. My (now) husband and I decided to get married after 13 yrs together. We had just bought a house and were going to start our family. It felt like the perfect time to get married. We didn't ever say that we were not going to get married or not going to have kids. But after so many years together, our extended families stopped asking. But when we shared the news, everyone was super happy for us. We had a living room wedding about 6 wks later, in December. There were about 10 people total. It was very low key but perfect. It was just something for us. Then the following August we had a big old party in our back yard. We had redone our whole yard (landscaping, built a beautiful fence and arbor). Made all the decorations for the party, the favors, etc.... It was 100% "us." And having the party after the actual wedding made it more fun for us ;). And we were able to announce my pregnancy there. We're now expecting kid #2.

In terms of getting pregnant later in life, here are a couple of awesome resources (I'm 37). This article on The Atlantic: How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby and a book by the same author:
The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant.

And there is a great (new) subreddit: /r/TTC30, for woman who are 30+ trying to conceive.

This book has helped me quite a lot, I also have his other book for the first year. I managed to get them both for $5 at Value Village. He has one more for toddler years as well. Lots of solid information plus it talks not just about her or the baby but also about you and your relationship.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Expectant-Father-Dads-Be/dp/0789205386

Enroll in a pre-natal class and go with her. My wife and I found one that was free and run by our community centre. I have learned so much and it has been so important to learn that EVERY pregnancy is different.

Understand that the best thing to do is hope and expect a happy healthy baby, anything beyond that is all a bonus. While you are supporting her, try to find time for yourself. Becoming a dad is stressful and exciting and you'll want to blow off steam.

Finally and most importantly, realise that no one really knows what they are doing and are fully prepared with their first child. This is a learning and growing experience. Have fun with it.

100% agree with u/funmamareddit , support each other. Try not to take frustrations out on one another. Don't take it out on the baby either. This happens more than you would think. Don't shake the baby, or squeeze the baby, or hyper-speed rock the baby. The hospital actually made us watch and sign an affidavit that we watched an informational video on Shaken Baby Syndrome Prevention.

My wife felt that she, as the mother, was 100% responsible for everything. Learn to support her and let her know that you are both in it together and that you wouldn't want to do it with anyone but her. Every parents needs are different. Things like changing diapers, making bottles, and bathing your child will become mundane after a couple of weeks. Knowing how to talk to a person and to put them at ease can take a while so start practicing if you have not already.

Accept that your home will be a little topsy-turvy for a while. If she is the one that cleans, cooks, makes coffee, does the laundry, shops for groceries, or does the dishes, start taking over some of those tasks now. Learn how to do the chores you don't know how to do. If your wife is anything like mine, she might put pressure on herself to keep the home like it was before the baby.

Relax. You can't and won't need to know everything right when the baby comes. The best thing you can do now is get to know your wife and help her out with the things she does that you might take for granted.

The Expectant Father also helped me out.

Feel free to PM with any specific questions. Good Luck!

If you're going to go the supplement route I recommend reading the book It Starts With the Egg. It goes through all the research on ways to improve egg (and sperm) quality.

The basic gist of the recommendations is:

• CoQ10 probably helps but certainly won't hurt anything so probably give it a try. Take the ubiquinol form since it is more readily absorbed and utilized by the body. This applies to men also since research shows CoQ10 potentially increases both egg and sperm quality.
  
  
• Take an antioxidant like Vitamin C or Vitamin E. Vitamin C is probably a little better. Another antioxidant you could potentially add is alpha lipoic acid but the research on it isn't quite as solid as the research for vitamin C. Like CoQ10 this applies to men also.
  
  
• If you're doing IVF consider adding melatonin. Avoid melatonin for natural cycles. But do try to establish some good sleep habits. And try to spend some time in the sun. Both of these things help boost melatonin naturally.
  
  
• Probably avoid royal jelly. There is no good evidence that it helps anything and there is evidence it may do more harm than good.
  
  
• Prenatal vitamins are highly recommended. Men should take a multivitamin also for sperm quality.

I suggest keeping it simple. Focus on eating nutrient dense whole food as much as you can and take a good prenatal (or 400 mcg folic acid/folate at the very least) to start.

I can't comment on the Celiac, but I have IBS and throwing a bunch of new things into my diet all at once is never a good idea for me. I also try to manage my stress, get enough sleep, and exercise moderately.

When I first started trying, I was tempted to take all the things. The great wild internets makes it extremly tempting to take all of the supplements and herbs. I also think that the fertility "industry" does a really good job at preying on our desire and our insecurities about fertility. So, in my opinion, a lot of this stuff hasn't been rigorously scientifically proven enough to be both safe and effective enough for me to take it.

In the Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant, she recommends giving your body at least 3 months to do it's own thing before adding in extra supplements and herbs beyond the basics. This gives your body a chance to start regulating naturally, especially after coming off of the pill.

I also really liked the recommendations in It Starts with the Egg because the author goes into the science behind egg quality, evaluates the studies, and makes recommendations.

I settled on my own routine that I'm fairly happy with. A prenatal, Vitamin D, Omega-3, Ubiquinol (a form of CoQ10), and B6. I'm still skeptical about the B6 even, but it really seems to be helping my CM.

Good luck with everything. I'm sure you'll get tons of advice.

edit: Spelling because I'm tired.

Huh. Funny bunch of parenting recommendations on here... ಠ_ಠ

Are you interested in early stage development or later ages? There's a ton of stuff out there on both.

Anyways, it's not a book, but definitely start here, it's an awesome article: http://www.quora.com/What-is-the-evolutionary-benefit-or-purpose-of-having-periods/answer/Suzanne-Sadedin?share=1


Aside from "What to Expect when you're expecting" - which is the standard guide - you should definitely check out the Mayo Clinic book. They're the source for medical information of all kinds.


Then there are a ton of books. Seriously, most folks just google "parenting books" and then pick out whichever ones seem to suit them - and by suit them, I mean "which books seem most likely to tell them to parent how they want to parent", so. Beware looking for things which will reinforce your own preconceived (ha! conceived, it's a pun... never mind) ideas on what you should and shouldn't do.

Mostly, just use the basic baby books - they're ok - and get the kid to an age where you're not as afraid it's gonna die in its sleep, and then start doing fun stuff. Like reading to it - the biggest things with babies is that you touch them, hold them, play with them, spend time and attention on them. That's it. That's all they want. Food, clean diapers, and every single scrap of your attention all the time.

Oh yeah, and definitely immunize the little monsters, you don't want to be that person who lets the measles loose in your school and has to deal with the parent of the kid who went deaf from it.


I've been sending books to my sister's kid for ages, so I'll include some links... oh shit, Amazon's gonna be recommending all kinds of pregnancy books to me now because I searched for that Mayo clinic book. Crap.

So I've been sending all kinds of books. Like, books on zen, books on Native American stories, books on everything. Fantasy, mystery, whatever. But books on actual development - meant for kids, but might be interesting to see what people are recommending for kids: The Care and Keeping Of You

The Care and Keeping Of Your Emotions


Aside from all that.... a lot of books are written to say simple things. Be constant with kids and don't give into tantrums, be firm, be reasonable, don't be wishy washy, don't be mean, don't get upset if you can help it, and kids aren't sweet innocent things - they're pretty much psychopathic utter assholes until you teach them not to be.


Other interesting books:

The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog


Born For Love

What's Going On In There? First 5 Years

I attended the 5 week course and found it very valuable as you practice the relaxation techniques in class. Even though I meditate and can relax myself very easily I would have felt overwhelmed by trying to read and teach myself.
However, if taking a class is not an option you can purchase the book that we received in class. It follows pretty closely with what was taught in class. I believe you get a cd with the book that has the rainbow relaxation visualization on it.
HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing (3rd Edition) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0757302661/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_78yDDbR1CN3T9

In addition The Positive Birth Company is a good resource for Hypnobirthing and has an app called Freya that has a guided visualization and helps you count surges. I also watched YouTube Hypnobirthing videos and just did research in general for evidence based practice birthing and natural birth.

Seconding what /u/alc12 said.

With twins the first year is about survival, so you end up throwing a lot of your personal convictions out the window. lol

First and foremost - pick up the book Twins, Triplets and Quads. It has university research for prolonging your pregnancy as long as possible so nice big, healthy babies. It was recommended to me by another twin Mom. My OB said I'd be lucky to make 34 weeks, and I made 37+5. My girls had 0 NICU time. I believe it's largely due to this book.
https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0061803073/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497145941&sr=8-1&keywords=twins+triplets+quads

Do you have any family members (Mom, Sister) who can come live with you the first 5-6 months? The more support you can get, the better off your experience will be - especially if you plan to breastfeed. And if you have the cash, honestly... interview a few professional night-nurses or caregivers now, before the babies come, even if you think you may not ever call them. It will be much harder to interview someone with confidence when you are in the throws of the first 4 weeks of your twins life.

How involved was your husband with the first two pregnancies? Twins are a different animal and it's very "all hands on deck"! You'll need to trade off shifts for survival at night, each of you getting 5 solid hours of sleep. We did two shifts 10p-3a, 3a-8a. If he was very hands off with the first two, a little mental prep of how much you are going to need him will go a long way to preventing resentment from a partner later on. Even if you are 100% sure that you can handle it all on your own.. prep him just in case.

I won't lie and say that twins are easy. They are hard. But they are also very rewarding and it sounds like with 4 close in age they are going to be best of buds. Congratulations on your additions to the family :)

This was my wifes inspiration. https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0061803073/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483150828&sr=8-1&keywords=twins+triplets+and+quads
She is very into fitness and eats very healthy. This book told her the importance of weight gain for twins and wait gain early on. So you still have time. We have both found that the super fit pregnancy is the new thing so moms can look awesome in 6 weeks again and she said that wasn't right for her and couldn't take that risk with twins. (Everyone is different and that is no slam on anyone. We have just noticed a trend of skinny mommies and under weight babies and wast going to do that.) She packed on the weight and thankfully it was all belly and looked incredible the whole time.
Best of luck with you. Keep us updated on how it goes. This Sub has been amazing for us.

I am reading two:

What to Expect When You're Expecting - This is a great book with EVERY bit of detail you ever needed. It covers everything to the point where it can kind of feel a little clinical (textbook-y) sometimes. I actually prefer this but each to their own! The information in this book has allowed me to challenge information my GP has given me on occasion, getting the care I wanted. This book also has a comprehensive section on how to care for the baby after it arrives and care of yourself.

My mother bought me The Day-by-Day Pregnancy Book: Comprehensive Advice from a Team of Experts and Amazing Images Every Single Day because 'it has more pictures'. Its a nice book and the pictures are nice but I still prefer the first book. It has limited information I feel.

I've actually found that I read 'Day-by-day' more often for 'a flick through' - where as I pick up 'What to Expect' for answers and reassurance.

The 'best' book will depend on what type of pregnancy book you want, I guess.

For actual pregnancy, I loved the American college of obstetrics and gynecology's book and I know a lot of people loved the mayo clinic book.


Planning for Pregnancy, Birth And Beyond: Second Revised Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0525941401/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_PLZHAbPZ6V85C


Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy: From Doctors Who Are Parents, Too! https://www.amazon.com/dp/1561487171/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_tMZHAbRTF0RMQ


I also read what to expect when your expecting but it was a lot of the same info in my apps, except the actual birth and labor part. There was some helpful stuff in there!


For laboring I read Ina May's guide to Childbirth and I LOVED it. I feel SO prepared after reading it!


Ina May's Guide to Childbirth https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553381156/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_VNZHAbQ7T2S9D


I tried to read

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way https://www.amazon.com/dp/0452276594/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_HOZHAbRC89D39


But I couldn't take it seriously!


And for breastfeeding I read


The American Academy of Pediatrics New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding (Revised Edition): Completely Revised and Updated Third Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399181989/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_9PZHAbSMPXVX9


And for baby feeding and sleeping I read


On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep https://www.amazon.com/dp/1932740139/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_JQZHAbS5P7824

Congratulations! If you're looking for a book to read throughout pregnancy, The Expectant Father is kind of like a What to Expect When You're Expecting for dads. I like that it has practical things you can do to support your SO week by week. It also has things about what she may be experiencing emotionally and what you may feel. Some of it is kind of goofy but things like a list of questions for your pediatrician might be helpful.

One practical thing any pregnant woman probably would appreciate is having good food around. I love that my SO never judges what I eat, is always down to get whatever I'm craving and cooks for me. The Brewer Diet has recommendations specifically for twin pregnancies. She may not feel like eating for a while, but it's especially important for her to stay hydrated and get good nutrition when she can eat. B vitamins, especially B6 can help with the nausea.

Since you're already into meditation check out hypo birthing. It uses guided meditations and affirmations.

The class I took taught the Monaghan Method. Here's the book on Amazon

I see you're due pretty soon so you won't have time for classes but the book might be worth a read? Or maybe just read up on hypnobirthing.

There's also hypnobabies but I don't know anything about it other than it exists.

What helped me the most in labor was breathing. To make sure your shoulders and face and hands are relaxed. Just breathe through the contraction. I pictured the breath coming in and going down by body and out the birth canal. Another popular visualization (like another commenter mentioned) is visualizing your cervix opening. Like a flower. And you could picture the baby moving down.

As for the guided meditations, any would work. Just something to divert your focus from labor. You can download them on iTunes.

There are two primary affirmations used by hypnobirthing. One is the rainbow relaxation (which you're supposed to listen to everyday so that you're reaction to it is automatic but you might download it and give it a listen). The second one is more of an affirmation. You can download these. I googled it and saw them on youtube so look around. I got them from the CD that came with the book.

Then, what I did was make cards. I found affirmations I liked and wrote them on index cards to read while in labor. I decorated them and put pictures, etc. I used some from the hypnobirthing and some I just found online.

Good luck!

Absolutely no issues with flying during pregnancy. Some airlines restrict pregnant women from flying past ~36 weeks, but I think that's because they don't want you going into labor in their airplane cabin at 32,000 feet. After getting thru security, buy a bottle of water for your wife. I was on a 2-hour flight over Christmas and was dying of thirst waiting for the drink cart to come down the aisle. Also, give her the aisle seat if possible so she can walk the aisles periodically to keep the blood moving and access the bathroom quickly if needed.

As for books, I've read a lot of good ones. I've liked the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, and Elisabeth Bing's Six Practical Lessons for an Easier Childbirth and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for info on labor and delivery, and The Happiest Baby on the Block and the Wonder Weeks for infant care. Also The Birth Partner is a great book on delivery for both pregnant women and husbands. If you can find a secondhand bookstore near you, check it out--a lot of people sell off these types of books once they're done with them.

My maternal grandmother had twins as well! It's weird, a lot of moms I know who had twins, their grandmother had twins too. Even the nurses at the hospital asked if my maternal grandmother had twins.

Book recommendation! "When you're expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads" by Dr. Barbara Luke. This book was my go-to for everything I experienced during pregnancy. It's really great, and the woman who wrote it has over 20 years experience with multiple pregnancies! So check it out. :)

Eat. Everything. Don't be afraid to gain lots of weight. I think I ate my weight in pineapple every week. Oh, and prenatal vitamins.... and SLEEEEEEEP! I slept like, 20 hours a day for the first trimester! I only woke up to eat and go to the bathroom. lol It's soooo important you get lots of rest and don't overdo it. If at any point in your life you don't overdo it, this next 7 months is IT! (I watched the entirety of Gilmore Girls, read, slept, and ate. Oh man I ate. lol)

And have fun! Enjoy the quiet, because once they get here, that's IT! haha Congrats!! PM me if you want to chat :)

Congratulations!!!! My husband and I tried for about 8 months before we finally got our positive. After the first test, I looked up into the mirror and saw my face all red and grinning and I had to remind myself to breathe :) Here are a few things that have been really helpful for me (outside of this forum)

• www.pregnantchicken.com
  
  
• www.lucieslist.com
  
  
• Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy
  
  
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
  
  
• Start a journal (even a simple one, like https://amzn.com/0307336182)
  
  
• Getting early treatment from a chiropractor for pregnancy-induced back pain has turned out to be a really good decision
  
  
• If people tell you "it's too early" to clean out a spare room to make a nursery, just remember that you're more agile now than you will be in a few months!
  
  
• Allow yourself to buy a few things for the baby while the excitement is still new and fresh. Celebrate your good news!!

Expecting Better is okay, but good to read with some skepticism. The fact that Oster is an economist, and not a doctor or a biologist really shows in some sections.

Before reading her book, I'd read some of the same primary literature she cites, and I was so surprised at what she wrote, I had to go back and check that I hadn't read the paper wrong. (I hadn't.) I also did some searching and found that the doctors/biologists that study alcohol metabolism, fetal kidney development, etc. noted that her explanations of the biology there were incorrect. Same with some of the info on e.g. salmonella.

I personally found her analysis of CVS vs. amnio to be lacking. (I think this summary from the Cochrane reviews is better.) And NIPT technology has also advanced, so that info is a bit dated. This article from the New England Center for Investigative reporting is a good layperson's summary of NIPT.

Those are just a handful of examples. It's not to say that the whole book is wrong....there are some parts that are okay. (E.g. The info on chemical pregnancies, unisome + b6, and caffeine.) But it's not a book you can trust blindly.

Women like this book because it says, "Have that drink", "Have that sushi". And Oster had one pregnancy and nothing went wrong--great for her.

But having experienced a loss from something rare, and participated in a parent perinatal loss support group full of parents who lost their kids to something rare, I really understand why doctors encourage women to error on the side of caution. Sure, chances are that nothing will happen to you, but that 0.5% is somebody and your doctor wants to minimize the chances that "somebody" becomes you.

The Mayo clinic book (2nd edition) is from 2011, but most of the information is still current. (Again, the genetic testing technology has changed a bit.) About 1/2 is pregnancy stuff, about 1/4 is labor/newborn care/breastfeeding/post-partum care, and about a 1/4 is special case stuff (genetic testing, VBACs, pregnancy loss, etc.) I like that it has an alphabetized "symptoms" guide that covers everything from "bleeding gums" to UTIs and explains what to do. Bonus: you can get used copies for cheap. (Or get from the library before buying.)

As for refined grains (white bread, white rice, potatoes, pasta, etc.), this is in part a glucose/insulin regulation thing. Women who develop gestational diabetes maybe be told to eliminate these high glycemic load foods from their diet to manage their GD before moving to medication. But this is more relevant in the second half of pregnancy. In the morning sickness stage, they basically tell you crackers, toast, etc. is fine if that's what you can keep down.

Oh, also read anything and everything you can written by Ina May Gaskin, but especially Spiritual Midwifery.

"Doing It At Home" is going to be a great Podcast for you and your husband, since it's a husband & wife team and the podcast includes a lot of information about the Dad's perspective, too!

Here is a link to "Taking Back Birth" as well, since I didn't add one earlier.

I don't think that HomeBirth is the right choice for everyone, and I would never attempt to convince someone that they should do it. However, I also believe that the right to CHOOSE where and how a Momma delivers is a fundamental right.

A lot of the reasons why people advocate for hospital birth is because they're scared about what can go wrong - and for high-risk Mommas those fears may absolutely be warranted - however, for low-risk Mommas, that very fear is the thing which may cause complications in the first place. There is evidence that shows that Mommas who feel comfortable and empowered in their birth choices have easier labors, less complications, and when issues do arise, they feel more satisfied with the outcome than Mommas who are informed about what is happening to them and have little choice in the situation.

The most important thing to remember about homebirth is that while some people think it is "irresponsible," in truth, YOU as the Momma are the one who is taking the responsibility of the birth outcome onto your own shoulders. It is your responsibility to educate yourself, understand your choices, and make the decisions that are right for you and your family. It is really the most responsible way to birth in the sense that YOU own the responsibility. You're not handing the responsibility off to a Dr, or even your Midwife. If you decide you want to transfer to hospital for an epidural, you can! A Midwife is there to assist you in your journey, not call the shots. They are there to handle the medical side of things, which they have been adequately trained to do. And in the vein of being responsible, it is your choice how you respond to people's reactions. YOU are in charge of your birth. YOU are the one who gets to set the tone for people's responses. If YOU are grounded in your decision, you can come to a place of understanding - if not necessarily agreement - with those who stand in a different place than you. This is your life, and your journey into Motherhood. This is the first opportunity of many in which you get to act as MOTHER and rise into a place of empowered self authority.

But again, educate yourself. So that when people throw those fear questions to you, "What if..." you KNOW the what if. Understand what risk factors are required for transfer. Understand what steps are taken when X, Y, or Z scenario occurs. Knowledge combats fear. Knowledge is empowerment.

You are going to be an excellent Momma, and I wish you a beautiful and empowered birth experience, and a beautiful healthy baby <3

P.S. sorry for the wall of text!

She's six feet tall with a very long torso, so luckily she had some extra room to work with.

You're in for quite a ride! I'm not an OB or pediatrician or anything, so take anything here with a liberal heaping of salt. Also I'm only ~30 hours in on the cooing and crying part, so I'll stick to the inside part.

First off, my wife bought this book which was excellent:
http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0061803073/

It goes into a whole lot of detail regarding multiple pregnancies, to the point of suggesting meals / meal plans, all kinds of information, the whole nine. It's a lot of very good information specific to the hurdles and excitement you're facing.

So, beyond that. First off be aware that the average gestation for twins is 36 weeks, not 40. You may make it to 36, you may not, but expect that any time between delivery and 36 weeks is going to be spent with them in the NICU. Your OB will be able to tell you more what to expect.

If you haven't yet, get with your HCP and get all of the pokes and prods and plans and ultrasounds you need now done and need in the future scheduled.

If yours is like mine, understand that by about 6 or 7 months in she is not going to be able to really do much to help, and it's pretty much your job to make sure she doesn't have to.

Finally, ASK FOR HELP. Family, friends, whoever, if someone says they want to help, take them up on it, not just in the time of cooing pooping insomnia but in the run up to it. Getting the house all cleaned up, getting all of the baby stuff squared away, having meals prepped / frozen ahead of time, staying on top of laundry, caring for your son... I have no idea at all how single mothers of multiples even survive, and a father who's so utterly tapped out that he can't see straight isn't much help either.

It's a very exciting time for you right now. I don't know how far along the pregnancy is but also keep in mind the unthinkable can happen and it will be devastating. But that shouldn't keep you from enjoying this time. I did, but I always carried the fear of miscarriage and we didn't reveal to anyone but our parents (who we swore to secrecy) about our pregnancy until we completed the 1st trimester and were relatively safe from miscarriage.

Read a book or two on becoming a father. My favorite was this one (http://www.amazon.com/The-Expectant-Father-Dads---Be/dp/0789210770/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&qid=1377103525&sr=8-15&keywords=becoming+a+dad) and I passed it on to a friend and it was his favorite one too. You'll need to know what your wife/girlfriend is going through and what your role can be in supporting her and sharing in the planning of impending parenthood. Plus you need to know what you'll be going through too and what you need to be thinking about for your child's and your relationship's future.

Mom will be doing a lot of research and she'll want to share. Listen and get involved. Also, her first trimester is going to be fraught with exhaustion. When she says she's tired, she's really tired. Don't plan too many things and be understanding if she wants to back out at the last minute.

The second trimester will have her feeling great and that's a good time to go out and about looking on planning a nursery. If you end up painting for a nursery. use NO VOC paints.

But most importantly -- and you'll regret it if you don't do this -- go to Mom's ultrasounds because you'll want to hear you baby's heartbeat the first time she does. Don't be surprised if you tear up.

Good luck and enjoy!

The Whole 9 Months: A Week-By-Week Pregnancy Nutrition Guide with Recipes for a Healthy Start https://www.amazon.com/dp/1943451486/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_lVUwybM67RFKZ

The book above is supposed to not only tell you what foods you should eat each week for baby - but also for mom with nausea, leg cramps and the other fun things :) Below is a book for Daddy - divided up so its not sit down and read it all now. Gives him info on what is going on with you and baby and how he can be involved with some humor included :) Any mint teas help with stomach upset (help not cure lol) so whether you pick peppermint, spearmint or what not it may help. I love mint iced tea.

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be https://www.amazon.com/dp/0789212137/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_RPUwybNPMAMFQ

Hope you feel better!

Congrats!!

Tips and suggestions... you're going to get nausea... I kept peppermints, gum, and crackers in my purse for at least the first 8-10 weeks. You never know when it's going to strike! Oh, and ginger ale was my bff for a while!

What to Expect is a fantastic book! If your husband is looking for one, I would recommend The Expectant Father. My fiance is reading it at the recommendation of my brother (who has two kiddos) and they love it!

If you're wondering about the studies of drinking/no drinking, chances for birth defects or miscarriage, and all the crazy polar stuff you see on the web... I recommend picking up Expecting Better written by an economist who analyzes all these studies, just in laymen's terms! It's comforting to know what's what, etc.

Other than that, welcome to baby bumps! There's SO much info that gets passed around here that I have found so incredibly helpful. If you have questions, ask. If you have fun things to share, share it!

My husband was excited and wanted to tell his dad as soon as possible. I bought him this book The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be and he is really enjoying it. He says that he likes that it explains what's happening for the mother, but also talks about the father-to-be's feelings. Im relieved because reading a few chapters has convinced him we should wait until after our doctors appointment to tell people, even family.

That said, he did spill the beans to my friend this weekend though by asking if I was drinking decaf coffee, which she told me later was a dead giveaway! Luckily she is my best friend and has two kids of her own, and I explained to her that we haven't even told our parents. So our secret will be safe with her until February.

Hi! Future dad here. Go check out /r/predaddit to find other dads who may have gone through something similar and can relate.

Nausea in the early weeks is perfectly normal. Morning sickness has been linked to higher hormone levels, a potential link indicating a healthy pregnancy.

I would strongly suggest getting an earlier doctor's appointment if possible for peace of mind. And read books like The Expectant Father. It's amazing what a little education and information does for the soul.

Do your best to learn, listen to her, and help her be healthy, and you've done all you can to ensure a good, boring pregnancy. There are some things that are out of your hands, and it does no one any good to worry about those things until they happen.

​

I have had 4 miscarriages. The first 3 I got pregnant with 1 or 2 cycles immediately after the previous loss. I never learned the reason. The 4th was a D&c and did have a genetic issue.

From my personal experience, In retrospect, I wish I had spent some time to:

1. Properly heal from the loss both physically and mentally
   
2. Taken supplements and have a diet that supported optimum egg and uterine health before trying again. After reading "It starts with the egg" and "the woman code", I believe I could have done something to help my situation before trying again. It may not have made a difference, but what if it had?? It could have saved me much grief.
   
3. Did some accupunture treatment. I truly believe it helps with circulation to the uterus.
   
   I want to be clear, MOST MCs are caused by genetic abnormalities and it is Not your fault!
   
   I totally understand that you want to move forward by moving on to the next pregnancy. This is just one person's experience and you have to do what is right for you.
   
   Here are the books I mentioned if you want to read them:
   
   It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF https://www.amazon.com/dp/0991126904/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_RlyjzbFS27J4J
   
   WomanCode: Perfect Your Cycle, Amplify Your Fertility, Supercharge Your Sex Drive, and Become a Power Source https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009NFNBO0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_rmyjzbM8V81D0

Congrats!

First, the best part of not having any babies yet is that you won't know any different. People ask me how I'm able to work and live life with twins and my answer is "I don't know any alternative"

Second, talk to your HR when you feel ready to make the news public, but I've in general found that people/employers are willing to help out a lot for a twin mom. Everyone knows that you're about to do something really hard and they may be willing to help you out with the leave situation even if you don't technically qualify

Third, check /r/parentsofmultiples and look around the internet/facebook to see if you have a local Moms of Multiples chapter. My local group has been so critical, from offering advice to gifting us things. And my local group does a big yard sale twice a year where pregnant moms of multiples get to shop first

Once the dust has settled on the surprising news, pick up this book https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0062379488 It's very science based and a favorite of perinatologists (side note: you're going to see a perinatologist aka a maternal fetal medicine doc in addition to your OB because a multiple pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy even if nothing else is going on)

Feel free to PM with any other questions that pop up along the way but the main message is congratulations, twins are freaking awesome

For the nausea, send her some ginger chews. Ginger is GREAT for nausea. Also, some ginger tea. Ginger all the things!

If you can afford it, send her a body pillow. Those things are great for the whole pregnancy (and then afterward!). Also, some seriously comfy house shoes that won't be too tight (as she progresses, her feet are gonna swell big time).

You can find Belly Bars at Target (or on Amazon). These are pretty delicious.

Also: The Belly Book was SO much fun while I was pregnant.

Congrats to your friend!

Hey, congratulation.

The only book that I read is this one. What to Expect the First Year. http://www.amazon.ca/What-Expect-First-Heidi-Murkoff/dp/0761152121
Thats is the only one that I used.

It's pretty rough the first months, but how fun. You are tired as hell, but also happy. Ask for help from your relatives and friends. My mother in law prepared us couple of meals to help us.
Sleep when your baby sleeps :)


Everything depends on kind of baby you have.
My daughter was pretty active. up every 45-60 min for food/diaper for the first 2 months(poor wife), then every 2-3 hours . 1st full night at 8months. VS my friend's daughter. wake up every 4 hours since day 1. full night sleep at 2 months.

If you or your wife are the reading type, skip over the "What to expect when you are expecting" and head straight to this.

http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0061803073

We have fraternal (di di) girls coming in October. My wife is 24 weeks today. Tomorrow is our favorite day of the month because we get to see them at the ultrasound. I am sure you will learn to love those days too. Find a way, any way, to be there for them.

Plus, I felt one of them kick m hand this morning. First time feeling my babies. Such a wonderful feeling. Love every minute of it. And don't be scared of it either.

Congrats!

Hi, you sound like me! I'm also 32 and WTT but until January 2019, and just got off the HBC pill a month ago after 15 years on it so that I could start temping and tracking, which I've been doing this month (and was very proud of my body for ovulating right away! Not what I expected since last time I went off it took my body 3 months to ovulate/get a period). My biggest recommendation: buy Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It explains temping and tracking in great detail and will overall teach you all kinds of things about your body - I found it fascinating. All the elements you have to know are a little too complicated to explain in a small space, so I really recommend reading the whole book. It also tells you how to use the method as (very effective!) birth control, which is what we are using (along with withdrawal around fertile times) for the year. I also recommend The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant, especially since you mentioned age worries - the author wrote it with women like us in mind, as she had two children in her mid-late 30s and another at 40. She reviews a ton of research and generally made me feel a lot more relaxed about my age. (Coincidentally, those are the two books this sub recommends, but I have read both and really think they cover everything!)

Also, join us at /r/waiting_to_try!

Hi and welcome! There’s this really great link that might help you figure out what to do! I highly recommend It Starts with the Egg especially if you’re worried about age. It made me feel like I have slightly more control over the clock! And of course Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great resource as well. Don’t feel pressured to start off doing too much at first, the first few cycles should still be fun!

I hope your stay here is short and sweet❤️

Were you on BC? If so, when did you come off?

If you will notice, a lot of women here are past 2 cycles. Why? B/c TTC is 80% luck and only 20% of what you do. So don't stress out too much that you're on Cycle 2 and haven't won the lottery yet :)

Do you have an app to track your cycle? (I recommend Fertility Friend of Ovia) This will help a lot. You can narrow the serious baby makin' to 5 days of the entire month. However, you would likely be fine with doing it every other day.

(Note: Those Amazon fertility tests don't test mobility, just count...not the most reliable)

I would also recommend getting "OPKs" from Amazon (Wondfo brand is cheap). This tells you when you're having a hormonal surge right before ovulation.

I also recommend buying "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" or "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant. These books give you all the information you need to know about your cycle. (The second book is the shorter version)

ALSO, Are you tracking your cervical mucus (CM) or cervical position? Cervical mucus changes throughout your cycle, and it is the best natural indicator of when you're most fertile.

Position doesn't really matter - your body is developed to get preggo in all sorts of positions.

Sorry if I gave too much information and not what you were looking for. I've been here too long. hahahah

Read The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant. She looks at the scientific research behind most common TTC things (including supplements) and tells you whether they're worthwhile or not.

The short version is don't start messing around with supplements until you know what your normal cycle looks like. Here's her basic shopping list - she says to just take prenatals and omega 3 to begin with.

Once I had been temping for a while, I realised that I had short luteal phases, so I started taking a B100 complex to help lengthen it (and vitamin C helps with absorption, so I've recently added that in too).

> but if something could help me I would like to be proactive

The best thing you can do to be proactive is to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, buy a BBT thermometer (I use the Mabis one) and use FertilityFriend to track your temperature and cervical fluid.

Agree with this! I think during my first pregnancy I felt the worst in my first trimester. Just so much fatigue, nausea, and the stress and worry surrounding possible loss. Finding myself something to eat was hard enough some of those weeks, and I pride myself on cooking 5 nights a week and keeping a clean home. Now I’m 8+4 with my second. My husband has been through this with me before so he knows that this too shall pass, but I warned him that not much will get done until around January.

Sure, during the second and third trimester you’re getting bigger and your body can’t move the same ways, but I definitely felt better during those trimesters, even when I was still pregnant at 41 weeks, than I did during the first trimester.

He sounds like he just doesn’t understand how much being pregnant can affect you, whether you’re visibly pregnant or not. I bought my husband a book that we read together weekly that helps explain what I was feeling. It might also help to have him join r/predaddit or to have him come to a doctor’s appointment with you and have a doctor explain the risks.

I was very active throughout my second and third trimesters but the first was so hard. Please don’t let him make you feel any guilt for putting your son and your physical and mental wellbeing first. Congratulations on the pregnancy!

The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy was a gift from a friend and my absolute favorite when I was pregnant. I've gifted it to several friends since. "What to Expect" I found surprisingly off-putting, much more "What to Expect if You Are Married and Upper-Middle Class".

For later, I loved Simplicity Parenting, Baby-Led Weaning, and The Happiest Baby on the Block. Those last three I got from our local library.

Just had our first. We don't live near family, but leaned on friends a lot. When someone asks you if you need help, say yes and give them a task. For me getting people to make meals helped a TON.

Also about there not being any resources for men, grab The Expectant Father. It discusses some of the exact issues you're dealing with.

Good luck and stay strong 👊

Oh see, I picked that up, and thought it was the cheesiest thing ever. There's some decent advice in there, but some of it just comes off as gimmicky. I mean "How to change your baby in a stadium," seriously? It's not a bad book, but I just felt it was lacking in information. If you're looking for a more light-hearted "ease yourself into baby books" kind of reading, then Be Prepared fits the bill. It was the first book I bought. I flipped through it, and relegated it to my "read after the baby is born" book pile.

I really liked [The Expectant Father] (http://www.amazon.com/The-Expectant-Father-Dads---Be/dp/0789205386/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344493133&sr=8-1&keywords=expected+father) since it tackles different sections from pregnancy to labor/birth and beyond. It has crap like how to prepare for getting college fund started. What I really like is that during the different months of pregnancy, it gives you things to expect, like how your spouse is probably feeling, and the thoughts/emotions going through your own head, and how to just wrap your noggin around all of it and stay sane.

There's also a section on the types of food your significant other should be eating, and how you can help through the next 9 months.

http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-First-Year-Second/dp/0761152121/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1426793154&sr=1-1&keywords=the+first+year+book

Buy this book. It is divided into each month of the first year of baby's life, so you don't have to learn an overwhelming amount at first. You will do just fine. Accept that is ok to have your own style of dealing with your baby. Also check out the football hold, mentioned in the book. My husband loved it, all the babies loved it, but really it just never clicked with me. Daddies are allowed to be different. That's ok and good. You bring your own value to the table so have some confidence about that. Too often fathers fall into the role of being some kind of sub-standard mother. Different is not bad. It's just different.

Okay - this book is excellent - https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0061803073/. It's well-researched and practical. As someone suggested earlier, your local mothers of multiples (MoM) group will likely be a good resource, and they often have consignment sales that can be good for getting things you need. If you're going to formula feed, the Baby Brezza has been a lifesaver for us, and you could start looking for a good deal. The 2017 Triplets Mom group that I described above is a great resource and well vetted so it's fairly private.

If you haven't read It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF https://www.amazon.com/dp/0991126904/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_OkuIL8ErKSxGQ

I highly recommend it. Fett has a degrees in molecular biotechnology and biochemistry and devotes an entire chapter on CoQ10. She notes it takes at least 4-5 months for any supplement to actually make a difference.

She also struggled with infertility.

I'm no expert on anything. Just sharing some knowledge that a fellow subredditer shared with me. I've been taking her recommend brand and dosage for almost four months.

Just had Endo/septum/fibroid/polip surgery so, currently my lady garden is under construction.

Regardless, I wish you well in your journey.😊

First off congrats!!! It's a very exciting time for you. I just found out this weekend that we're expecting our second.

Biggest thing I can suggest is to be extremely patient and supportive through the next 9 months. With the mood-swings, the slightest thing can be explosive for your spouse. Try as hard as you can to make the dr appts. Sometimes it may not make sense for you to be there when it's not got a lot to do with you, but just the fact that you're engaged and there will mean the world to her. Lastly get some good lotion later down the line to do some foot and ankle massages towards the end, her feet will be killing her.

I'd recommend "The Expectant Father" as something that you can go read through to be more prepared throughout the process. It lays out each month and gives good advice on how to help her, and yourself prepare for what's coming. I'm going to read it through again as I know I've forgotten things since I read it a few years ago.

http://www.amazon.ca/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789205386

Feel free to PM me if you have more questions down the line. We'll most likely be going through a lot of the same milestones at the same time.

It's scary as hell! However, there is a lot of advice out there as to how to handle it. Some of it is good and some of it is bad, but experience can help weed through it.

As a new parent you probably don't have a lot of experience and in that case you can do what my wife and I did: Talk to parents. My parents, her parents, aunts, uncles, and so forth down the family tree. We talked to parents who are total strangers. Just gather as much second hand experience as you can.

Also, the book What To Expect When You're Expecting is a great resource for the pregnancy and What To Expect The First Year is another good one.

Our hospital had pre-birth bonding classes that covered a lot too and I found it to be super handy.

Two things that no one mentioned to us: Stretch marks may be prevented or reduced with liberal daily doses of Vitamin E lotion. Despite having two kids, my wife has zero stretch marks afterward and we believe it is because we used Vitamin E lotion.

After birth, your wife will bleed. Stock up on pads and something to protect your mattress. It goes away quickly, but we were unprepared for that our first time out.

And these days you can gather more info from the internet. I kind of envy you that option. We could'ved used that resource back in the pre-internet days.

There are lots of rules about what you should and should not consume during pregnancy. Caffeine is one that should be consumed in great moderation. There are a bunch of sites with lots of great information. I like theBump.com for getting information about different stages of pregnancy, what you should be doing, etc. They have a good section on Nutrition & Fitness during pregnancy.

And then there's always What to Expect When You're Expecting, but I found most of the information in that book to be readily available online.

Congrats and Good luck!

Congratulations! I found this book extremely helpful during my first pregnancy. Granted that was nearly 20 years ago, so there may be even better books on the market now that newer moms could recommend. But if you would like to put this, or a similar book, on you r wishlist, I'd be more than happy to gift it to you. Just let me know if you do, so I don't forget to go back and check your list.

How is your daughter doing since the accident? Has she been released from the hospital yet? My thoughts have been with you ever since reading that post.

I bought my husband the book "the expectant father the ultimate guide for dads-to-be" it is available on Amazon and is really informative.
https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1542296764&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=expectant+father+books&dpPl=1&dpID=61Qlu9et-vL&ref=plSrch

It is a little different in that it focuses on how the partner can help and not accidently cause a fight, as well as giving a perspective as to how she is feeling and what is happening with the baby. I got myself the book "day by day pregnancy" it is like a massive text book and let's me have a little to read each day with tips and ideas to make the experience more pleasant.

Good luck, most of all you need to let her know that you are in this together.

Although with everyone else, I don't think the 4 prenatals a day is correct. Just take one for now until you see your OB. You can find these over the counter in the US. I take Nature Made Prenatal. You don't want to take too much vitamins, this could be very dangerous for your baby-- just take the amount the bottle says to take.

I don't think just getting an ultrasound is going to make a difference. It's not the ultrasound but the interpretation (by an obgyn or radiologist) that matters. So unless you have a lot of extra money, I think getting extra ultrasounds will be a waste.

You won't have to deliver in a bathtub. If push comes to shove, just go to the ER when you are ready, but I don't think it will resort to that. Next time you call an obgyn and they say no, ask them who will take me. Religious and community health organizations might also have an idea of places that can take you. Friends and family might have an idea. You are not the only or first person at all to find out this late a long, someone will take you. You just need to call a lot. Do you have a family physician you can make an appointment with? He/She might be able to help guide you in the right direction and get you into a place as well-- all medical providers have some training in ob stuff so a general practitioner should be able to tell you the very basics at least (or at least help guide you).

Make sure you stop drinking alcohol, tobacco products, and illegal substances if you are taking any . Medications are tricky-- sometimes you don't want to stop them right away, I would wait to talk to a medical provider for advice on that.

Finally, go to the bookstore (like now) and get a good pregnancy book. I like Mayo Clinic Guide to pregnancy. Keep in mind there are bad pregnancy books- try to stick to something medical.

https://www.amazon.com/Mayo-Clinic-Guide-Healthy-Pregnancy/dp/1561487171

Take this one day at a time, you still have some time to go and even though this is tough, this is certainly do able! Please try not to think about the past and things you did when you didn't know you were pregnant- we can't change the past and babies are really resilient.

On a side note, I work in health care, and a year ago had a gal a few weeks less than you who ended up pregnant (like you she also came in complaining of abdominal pain!). She was super worried about it-- she even admitted to some instances drinking a lot and was on some prescription meds that aren't exactly considered safe during pregnancy (which we took her off of)-- and she of course stopped drinking right away.. In the end, the baby came out FINE and is adorable. You can do it too!

This book is small, but invaluable for it's support, hints, tips and recipe ideas. Tells you all the basics of getting what you and baby need.
Vegan Pregnancy Survival Guide https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0980144035/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_4BfpDbHWKDV3V

I used it through my first pregnancy which was wholly vegan. Now have a wonderfully healthy 4 year old so don't let people put you off.

And Congratulations!!

"Brain Rules for Babies" by John Medina may be of interest to you. I haven't read "Expecting Better," but based on the blurb it seems the two books have similar goals: providing peer-reviewed information and avoiding the propagation of myths.


At the beginning of my pregnancy, I worried I wasn't doing enough to optimize fetal development. There's so much information to be found on pregnancy and child care, I kept wondering, "Which advice should I follow? What helps and what hinders?" It was overwhelming! I'm a FTM, and I've never been around babies, so I was clueless. The pregnancy chapter in "Brain Rules" really simplified it for me: take care of yourself physically and mentally and let the fetus do it's thing. The book continues to cover relationships, brain development, emotional development, and moral development with similar clarity.


I have a few other books such as "What to Expect the First Year" but I just keep them around for reference, haven't actually read all the way through them. Other books I've considered buying are "Mind in the Making" and "NurtureShock."

Yeah I am set to graduate in December and I was feeling a bit lost so I ended up getting a book. This one in particular, not sure if this is a "good" book but it has definitely helped me understand what my wife's body is going through week to week as well as knowing what I need to worry about. I usually take a few minutes every Monday morning too read through that weeks content haha. I am sure there are online blogs that cover it as well. Also picked up a copy of What to Expect When Expecting and the first year version from Goodwill. there are so many copies of that book there haha.

Hang in there brother!

​

oh shoot, I throught this was r/predaddit lol. That is a small community which was a small comfort knowing there were a bunch of soon to be dads

The first thing you need to do is get in touch with other parents of twins. Parents of singletons don't have any idea what you are about to go through so go to people who do: http://www.nomotc.org/index.php?option=com_clubsearch&Itemid=43

Get on their email list now and start meeting people. You'll be glad you have some people to call when the shit hits the fan.

Secondly, encourage your wife to take care of herself and eat like a horse. Preterm birth is a real risk for multiples and you really really really do not want to experience it if you can avoid it. I would make a point of finding an OB specialized in high risk pregnancies. I didn't and I lived to regret it (mine were 3 months too early). Here's a good book about eating during a multiple pregnancy: http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0061803073/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374202260&sr=1-1&keywords=multiples

It is great that your MIL is going to visit for a few months - that will make things SOOO much easier.

The book The Expectant Father is really good, and there are others.

One thing that I think will really help is if you don't let yourself become The Expert on your baby. Let him figure out his own way to soothe, diaper, feed, burp, bounce, or cuddle the baby - even if it's not the way you would do it or want it done. I've tried very hard to bite my tongue about how my husband handles his time with our daughter (the only thing I adamantly corrected him on was wiping front to back), and I think because of that, he has a lot of confidence in himself as a parent and they have a really strong relationship (she's 26 months). I think a lot of men don't do their share with an infant because they're constantly being told they're doing it wrong - well, I wouldn't volunteer to keep screwing something up either, so I don't blame them.

The first few weeks, my husband took care of me so I could take care of the baby. We've had a lot of conversations about the line between asking/telling him to do something and nagging, and we've worked out a pretty good system so that I feel like stuff gets done that he doesn't think about, but he doesn't feel like I'm always on him about it. That part just takes a lot of communication.

Lastly, as soon as you're able, try splitting the night shift. When our daughter was a couple months old, we split it so that I went to bed early, not long after she did, and he stayed up to calm her if she woke and do her late night feeding. Then once he came to bed, I was on call if she woke up. We were both getting about six straight hours of sleep, which is not a lot but totally possible to function on for a while. It was way better than taking turns all night long, or even trading off entire nights.

We've had a couple of scares already, made more poignant and terrifying after suffering a miscarriage earlier this year at the 7-week stage, but having made it through to 13 weeks now, we're feeling a lot more confident that everything's going to be ok.

This is our first child, so it's all new and exciting for us. I've already got a list of things to do to our flat, and will be getting my DIY hat on for the next few months. Plus actually buying a car, as we'll now need one of those (we live in London and don't currently have any use for one), as well as a million other things.

I've been reading my baby book (this one) religiously, and it's actually been a big help in figuring out that what she's going through isn't quite as unique as I had thought. Reading through various posts here, I'm glad to see that there's loads of us in the same boat too!

Welcome to the subreddit! This is my first baby also, and even though it was planned, I'm still very nervous. Here are some resources that have helped me:

• Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy: From Doctors Who Are Parents Too! This book is very practical and based on the most current scientific research. I have found the simple, direct language very comforting as I try to figure this thing out.
  
• Pregnancy apps provide updates on baby's development, give ideas of what to expect, and have relevant articles on all things pregnancy. I use three - Baby Bump, Glow, and Ovia. I like each for different reasons, so I use them in combination.
  
• Networking: Talking to other pregnant people and people who've recently had babies as much as possible is key. Whether that's online, at work, in your community, or in your family, find some people that you can share this journey with - the stress and the joys.
  
  Best of luck! We're rooting for you here!
  

I'm looking for a good pregnancy book too, with a focus on natural birth. The two I'm considering are Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Husband-Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method. I had an early 2000s edition of the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy during my first pregnancy and found it informative and helpful.

When my baby was about 5 months old I read Magda Gerber's Dear Parent: Caring for Infants With Respect and it changed our little family forever. I recommend it to every new parent. Completely amazing! although I don't agree with everything in it for the newborn time period -- I'm big on babywearing and cosleeping.

You're going to be a great dad! I recommend Ina May's guide to childbirth it helped me have such a blissful birth. And the womanly art of breastfeeding seriously, buy then now, or borrow from library!!! Best of luck!

Right now I would just start taking a daily prenatal (with folate) and CQ10 for egg quality. Do you best to get a lot of sleep, eat well, and drink a lot of water-- normal health guidelines. There's a great book out there called It Starts with the Egg that has a lot of tips and suggestions on how to get the best results, but here's a fair warning that it may just turn you into a paranoid fool about everything you touch (and eat out of plastic for instance).

Since you've already done some cycles with Gonal-F you're already pretty used to one of the medications itself, so really just start getting in the mindset that you'll be doing 2-5 injections a day (depending on your protocol) and you may be uncomfortable, but the process goes by pretty quick (less than two weeks).

Overall just lean on your partner and put your mental health above all in this journey. If you need to pull back from some relationships for your sanity, do it.

Best of luck to you!

I've been a lurker for a while before I joined. The camaraderie in this sub is beyond amazing. I love how much everyone cares for one another. It always makes me happy to see how much everyone cares about one another. Because I'm happy!

Didn't read all the comments, but buy this book for him: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0789210770?pc_redir=1396774006&robot_redir=1

I don't think your husband really understands what having a baby entails. My husband was supportive, but didn't really understand everything I was going through. Once he read this book, he started being much more understanding and supportive. I'm pretty sure at one point he admitted that he can only imagine what I was going through and that he is eternally grateful for it.

Congratulations! I'm jelly!

Look into getting some pregnancy books, they generally do a good job of demystifying the process. Here are some suggestions:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is an excellent place to start. It's all about how natural birth is, and has a bunch of positive birth stories.

The Panic Free Pregnancy is definitely useful. You'll be bombarded with all the things that are unsafe for you during your pregnancy, and this book helps determine fact or fiction and provides an explanation.

Lots of people suggest What to Expect When You're Expecting, but others find it kind of fear-mongering. I skimmed through it once and the list of adverse side effects you can expect to experience is pretty intimidating.

The Mayo Clinic's Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy is a more clinical approach. I haven't read it myself but I've heard good things about it. Less fluff than some pregnancy books, more fact.

Grats!

We're in our 17th week, so I'm right there with you. I picked up all 3 of these from a local used book store, and I like to read at the same pace as the pregnancy is going because these first 2 are broken up by month.

For you, there's The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be. Good book from the father's perspective. Covers the often overlooked male emotional issues that you may go through.

For both of you, there's the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. Covers a lot of medical and physical issues she'll be going through. Almost like a school textbook, but a good one.

And if you're into geeky and funny, there's The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance. There is some good tips here, but it is humor first and informational second.

My favorite for infants was Happiest Baby on the Block: Happiest Baby on the Block

My favorite for toddler is "Raising Your Spirited Child": Raising Your Spirited Child

My favorite for breastfeeding was "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding": Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

My favorite for pumping at work was "Work, Pump, Repeat": Work, Pump, Repeat

​

You are very welcome! I am also going to be having children while all of my friends are not even married yet... and I also live in the middle of nowhere! So I will be using La Leche League to make friends, for sure.

Their book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is also a GREAT reference to have around.

I'm 33 weeks pregnant with ours, so I can't yet comment as a parent, but these are some things that have helped me so far. Like with any baby gear or family, there is no one right answer as to what to buy. I have researched a ton and found it helpful to start at the Lucies List twin page, then modify ideas from there by asking advice from other twin parents and from places like here. We are going minimalist so have definitely not purchased the full extent of gear that mainstream registries recommend, but we have the basics for sleeping, health/safety, and transportation, and we also know there's always Amazon prime and also some nearby stores in case of emergency.

Second, I started reading When you're expecting twins... by Barbara Luke very early in my pregnancy and I found its recommendations on nutrition and lifestyle to be invaluable in getting the pregnancy off to a healthy start and keeping it there. There are definitely some differences from being pregnant with one vs two, and this got me educated and prepared.

Last...well we specifically didn't want cutesy/rhyming twin names, but if you want that sort of thing, Google and Pinterest are full of ideas. Ours are same gender but fraternal, and I fully expect they will be as stubborn and individual as their parents, so I'm not worried about telling them apart. I do expect our hands will be quite full with other challenges. Lord help us.

If you haven't got it already, I would get Taking Charge of Your Fertility http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Fertility-Anniversary-Edition/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1376092312&sr=8-1&keywords=taking+charge+of+your+fertility

A lot of people also seem to like the Impatient Women's Guide to Getting Pregnant, but I haven't read it myself. http://www.amazon.com/Impatient-Womans-Guide-Getting-Pregnant/dp/1451620705/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1376092348&sr=8-1&keywords=impatient+woman%27s+guide+to+getting+pregnant

Personally, I like charting on the taking charge of your fertility website (tcoyf.com) better than Fertility Friend. The website does run a little slow but it is easier to use in my opinion.

You can do this! I was 44 when my twins were born. We made it to 38 weeks and did a scheduled c-section. The book When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets and Quads was super helpful for me to figure out what I could do to help things go smoothly, and you can also read it and be super glad it's not triplets.

1. Congrats! Start taking prenatals if she isn't already.
   
   
2. Call her preferred midwife or OB.
   
   
3. Plan for her to be exhausted during the first trimester and to have food aversions or cravings. Take good care of her - it sounds like you will. :)
   
   Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy was my favorite pregnancy book.
   
   https://www.amazon.com/Mayo-Clinic-Guide-Healthy-Pregnancy/dp/1561487171

I started Expexting Better but I'm not a numbers/data person so it came across as irritating to me. Tons of people like it and recommend it though so it's worth a shot!

My midwife recommended Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. A doula friend recommended anything by Dr. Sears.

Little peanut gave me an AWESOME night of sleep last night. I didn't wake up til 5 AM, and even when I woke up, all I had to do was pee. Wasn't nauseous or stomach cramping or anything!

Hopefully all of August (and September) goes this way :)

[EDIT] Oh yeah, DH took me to a Barnes & Nobles after puppy class yesterday and we picked up 3 books!

• The Expectant Father
  
• The Pregnancy Countdown Book
  
• Sear's Healthy Pregnancy Book
  
  We also have 3 other books that DH picked up a few days ago... plus we're on an adventure to find The Mayo Clinic Guide and [The Birth Partner]
  (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/155832819X/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER)
  
  All this reading makes me happy~

We tried a few directed at dads. This one and one about the dad being the head of labor. (Really wish I could think of the name, but that was the take home message we got from it.)

To be honest, they were both horrible. The first one seemed to rely more on stereotypes than actual facts, and we were turned off by the less than helpful quips. The second was...weird. No offense, but regardless of how helpful and present you are at labor, it's the woman's show. No one else but her knows what's going on or what she's feeling.

I personally read about 6 books while pregnant. And I don't think they made a bit of difference other than to make me feel more in control, like I was doing something helpful. I haven't even picked up any since I've been a mom. We'll mangle through it just fine, and so will you. :)

I don't have any advice from personal experience yet, but when I was choosing a clinic I looked into whether I would want to transfer two embryos at one time, since one clinic I looked at had a shared risk plan that didn't allow elective single embryo transfer. Someone on this board recommended I read the book "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads" by Barbara Luke. It gives a very comprehensive coverage of multiple pregnancy, including what to expect during the pregnancy (both anecdotal and quantitative data) and recommendations on nutrition, time off work, etc. for a multiple pregnancy. I felt a little silly reading it without being pregnant, but it was really helpful to me in making a decision. I'd recommend taking a look at it if you are interested. The Amazon link is: http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0061803073/ref=la_B000APSJL2_1_1/192-5989079-8342909?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412131579&sr=1-1.

First, congrats! :D

Next, if you are not taking any prenatals, you should get some sooner rather than later. The first few weeks are the most critical for getting enough folic acid, because that is when the baby's neural tube is forming and will close by about 6 weeks I think. Folic acid helps prevent spina bifida and other things associated with the neural tube. If you can't get a prenatal soon, eat lots of dark greens like kale and spinach which contain high amounts of folic acid. Personally, I buy one brand of prenatals that I love, but they are kind of hard to find. I took them in my first pregnancy, all through nursing and now with my second and they are very gentle on the tummy and really high quality. It also comes packaged with a DHA supplement which is good for eye and brain development. They are called Rainbow Light DHA Smart Essentials Prenatal Pack. I have only been able to find them locally at Rite Aid, but apparently they now sell them on Amazon too: http://www.amazon.com/Rainbow-Light-Complete-Mulitvitamin-Essentials/dp/B001HCDTCG

You also need to call your doctor and make your first prenatal appointment. Unless there is a question or a problem, most doctors will not have you come in for a pregnancy test, whether urine or blood. I've been told by my doctor's office that the HPT's are good enough now they don't do their own test unless needed. If you don't have an OB/GYN, do some research to find one in your area. You also have the option of a midwife. Most doctors won't have you come in until 8-12 weeks, again unless there is an issue. At the first appointment you will usually get an ultrasound to determine viability. This is to check for proper growth and a heartbeat. They don't usually do an u/s before that because you won't be able to see much and it's fairly pointless in most cases. They will also go over what ever questions and concerns you may have and schedule your next few months of appointments. If you need a Pap, you'll get one at that time as well. There will also be other blood work to determine your blood type, your immunity to measles (I think) and an HIV test.

I would suggest buying a couple good pregnancy books. I've heard the "What to Expect" book is awful because it is written in such a way as to scare new moms with information. I don't know how true that is as I avoided it. I do like the Mayo Clinic's book and the Pregnancy Week by Week.

http://www.amazon.com/Mayo-Clinic-Guide-Healthy-Pregnancy/dp/1561487171/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1319128309&sr=1-1-catcorr

http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Ultimate-Week-Week-Guide/dp/0696222213/ref=pd_sim_b31

My top three picks would be the No Cry Sleep Solution, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and the Happiest Baby on the Block (I've seen the DVD, didn't read the book).

I also highly recommend the blog Parenting Science. I teach child development, and what the author writes is backed by recent research (citations included) so it isn't just one random person's thoughts but essentially a literature review of what to do for the best outcomes when it comes to infant sleep and behaviour. Oh, and definitely KellyMom if you're breastfeeding. :)

Get a prenatal vitamin ASAP- it's critical to make sure baby is getting enough nutrients, especially folic acid. I've found that the One-a-Day Women's Prental One Pill go down well for me.

I also highly recommend the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. It's a chill book that gives you the facts without any fear mongering. I bought a copy for myself before we conceived, but I also got a copy for free from my insurance company when I enrolled in their healthy pregnancies program.

Also, you're going to feel big ups and downs emotionally, regardless of how planned the baby was/wasn't. Our baby is 100% planned/wanted and I still have days where I'm like "OMG. I think this may have been a mistake." It was especially tough for me to have anything resembling a positive attitude during the morning sickness phase. My husband teases me a little bit about that because I went from "baby crazy with a ticking biological clock" to "So nauseous. I regret my life choices. Have we done the right thing?" within about a six-week timespan. Point being, there are ups and downs :)

There’s a book I really liked called The Expectant Father. It’s divided into pregnancy months and takes you through what’s happening with your baby and with your wife. I read a chapter each month as we progressed through the pregnancy and it was really helpful.
It’s cliche and everyone says it but time will go by so fast so enjoy every minute. Being a dad is likely to be the best thing you’ll ever do in your life. Congrats!

Edit: link to the book- The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be https://www.amazon.com/dp/0789212137/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_mPvCCb3621E49

Read Expectant Father . Even my wife thought it was the best and most informative of any books we read.

Other than that, take it all in and be as supportive as you can. Congrats and good luck.

My wife and I had our first baby last week. A friend bought us a copy of "What to Expect the First Year." I was just flicking through it and spotted a section titled "Is He Manny Enough For the Job"

When I realised it was about leaving your children in the care of a (gasp) male. I was sure there'd be some warning about sexual deviants but was pleasantly surprised at how positive the author was about male nannies.

The Expectant Father Linky

My SIL got it for me for Christmas and I blew through it while on vacation the next week. It's a fun, light-hearted, easy read but it has a ton of helpful information (and fun facts) about what your wife is going through during the stages of her pregnancy and what to expect those first few months of being an official member of the Dad Club.

I recommend it to everyone I know when they find out that they're expecting.

nah man, dont worry about it. breath, it will come, your daughter's energy will tell you. just don't let family influence you and your wife.

focus on the birth, everything else kind of falls into place.

if they have birthing classes there, go. try to get as prepared as possible. write the birth plan together even if it goes out the window.


my wife bought me this book. I quite enjoyed it.

ladies, please stop reading here.

for the men, birth is a real shitty, really worrying camping trip, take a ton snacks (both salty and sweet, things that are easy to eat) take drinks (lots of water and isotonics) .

scout the area, is there a place where you can go buy her fresh coffee, some pastry and other things she may like near by ?

prepare to be hot , cold , cramped and uncomfortable through the process.

but its about her(and the little her) remember that and it will all be worth it in the end.

good luck buddy.

I'm sure you're getting advice from a million directions now, so I'll keep this short. But totally feel free to message me if you ever want anybody to commiserate with or ever have any questions. I spent a lot of time on our registry, so I may be a good resource for that, too. :-)

1. Keep a pregnancy journal! I [used this book] (https://www.amazon.com/Belly-Book-Nine-Month-Journal-Growing/dp/0307336182/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=V7DZC15P7XP2NPBXKNPA). It'll be something that I pass on to Margot when she has her first child.
   
   
2. There's so much to learn, and reading stuff on the internet can be SO overwhelming. My husband and I went through [this book] (https://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Countdown-Book-Practical-Uncensored/dp/1594745730/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1510354766&sr=1-9&keywords=day+by+day+pregnancy) together. He read each day's entry out loud to me. It was nice to have that to look forward to each morning before going to work.

I read Hypnobirthing, and loved it! I liked "What to Expect"... until I found that I could download a free app from BabyCenter that let me know what was going on every week with my baby. Also read some of "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way"... similar to Hypnobirthing, but I think Hypnobirthing takes it another step beyond, as it's written by a woman [Bradley Way is based on a man's work]... I just feel that women, esp those who have had babies, know more about birthing than men ever could. And Hypnobirthing is just awesome. But really, my baby needs to start up the labor engine so I can put it to the test!!!

No issue with traveling at this point... I travel for work and have had my fair share of running to the bathroom with nausea with my last pregnancy.

To make things easier for you, check almost all your bags if at all possible. Make note of your OB's on call nurse line. You'll want that :) Carry some extra plastic bags. I carried gallon sized zip lock bags for a while in case of emergencies. I also carried a ton of small snacks and water and tums. Those things helped make travel easier for me. Make sure you get up and walk around at least once an hour.

As far as books go, I second the mayo guide to a healthy pregnancy, Natural Hospital Birth, and Art of Breastfeeding. I have PCOS so I picked up a diet book for pregnancy for PCOSers as well.

Edit: I second the pregnancy pops and ginger ale too.

Double Edit: If you are uncomfortable going through the scanners you can ask for a pat down instead of going through the scanner. The TSA people are totally understanding about this.

I've read several; my favorite one is The Nursing Mother's Companion. It's straightforward and comprehensive. (I'm also going to buy her Nursing Mother, Working Mother book.)

The standard The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is also a good one; however, if you're going to be a working mom like me, you have to read around the judgy parts. It's clearly biased toward SAHMs and full-on attachment parenting - not that those are bad things at all, but that dynamic of the book might not be for everyone.

KellyMom is one of the best breastfeeding websites out there, and there's also a sub here: r/breastfeeding.

My wife and I looked at Mayo Clinic's Guide to healthy pregnancy. It was neat to look up what was going on on the given week. We also took a trip to Babies R' Us early on to get an appreciation of what we'll need, what we'll want, and how much everything will cost.

For after the baby comes out: The Happiest Baby on the Block and Mayo Clinic's Guide to Your Baby's First Year, also.

There is a world of knowledge out there for you! Hang out on this sub, get a pregnancy app for your phone, etc.

I suggest to pick up a copy of The Expectant Father it covers a lot of stuff from what's physically happening each month to how to prepare for fatherhood in a lot of practical ways.

You are embarking on an amazing adventure, don't worry, no one is really prepared. You'll be great parents!

I'm having twins too! My EDD is in May also but in all likelyhood, they'll be born in April because that's what twins do. I can't believe they missed it in the first ultrasound! I had ultrasounds at 6 and 8 weeks (both internal) and it was clear as day but it may be because mine are fraternal (separate sacks). Are yours identical or fraternal?

I've been having the same logistical concerns about how to deal with TWO at the same time. Check out r/parentsofmultiples. There is a lot of good advice there.

Also, I found that most maternity books don't talk much about multiples. I found this book and I've found it very helpful so far.

I doubt there is a completely non-patronizing pregnancy book available outside of a medical text book. I had the feeling that the authors had purposefully written their books with the idea that the people who needed it the most were those without any prior experience with pregnancy, babies, or children.

There were only two that my wife and I both enjoyed. The first, What to Expect When You're Expecting, was pretty good for straight, factual information.

The other book, Be Prepared, falls into your first category and is more of a bathroom reader joke book, but it was entertaining enough and had some good ideas for the first year.

Exactly - I was going off the + OPK on CD15.

If you haven't yet, pick up a copy of Taking Charge Of Your Fertility and The Impatient Women's Guide to Getting Pregnant. They're both super helpful in understanding your cycle, and temping. (and quick / easy reads, particularly the latter)

Btw, I'd also recommend charting your CM.. Charting is all about getting multiple data points to try to pinpoint what's going on - the more data, the better!

I bought The Belly Book at the beginning of my pregnancy and have been updating it weekly, and my husband adds to it from time to time as well. It is already fun to look back through the early weeks, and I think it will be nice once he is born and older to look back through. There's also a spot for photos each week so now that I actually have a little bump going it's fun to see the progression :)

Congratulations, how far along?

My mono-di twins are just about five now.

At my first sonogram, when we discovered we were having twins, my doctor also really harped on the vanishing twin thing - he really made it sound like it was a 50/50 shot at best, however, if you're far enough along that you could see heartbeats, the chance of miscarriage is quite a bit lower. We only told immediate family about the twins until our second ultrasound.

If you're looking for a book for you (and your wife to read) - try this one When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads it has a lot of really good information about navigating a twin pregnancy.

Here's a dissertation on the topic of unassisted childbirths: http://ir.uiowa.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1387&context=etd

The estimate is 5,000 in North America per year. There are many valid reasons to consider it. My wife did not feel respected at all in her first labor. So we are planning for an unassisted (home) childbirth for our child on the way. She feels safer birthing at home than at the hospital. We much better prepared this time around, read books (Labor Progress Handbook, Husband-Coached Childbirth, Spiritual Midwifery, and Guide to Childbirth), and taking a Bradley Method course.

If someone is courageous/desperate/traumatized enough to consider unassisted home birth and share such with you, your conversation with her will likely be more productive by starting with finding out her reasons. This will likely help you meet her where she is. Feel free to post back about how the conversation evolves.

My SIL got pregnant unexpectedly at 19 and her daughter is now 3 years old. One of her biggest regrets (we were discussing this yesterday because she is newly married and trying for #2) is her lack of support group. You need women and like-minded people who will advocate for you and the birth of your child.

• Hook up with La Leche League (you can google and search for one in your area).
  
• Find meetup groups on meetup.com that focus on breastfeeding, parenting, birthing, etc.
  
• Look into your birthing options now to prepare; midwifery care, OB, etc.
  
• Talk to women. Ask them about their birthing experiences. Don't be afraid of what you'll hear; every experience is different.
  
• Watch birth videos on youtube.
  
• See if there are any local groups on facebook.
  
• Read books. One that I highly suggest is "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth"
  
  Here are a few "mommy" groups that I really enjoy on facebook:
  
  
• Barefoot Birthing Support Group
  
• Barefoot Breastfeeding & Parenting Support
  
  Also some relevant subreddits:
  
  
• /r/BabyBumps (pregnancy)
  
• /r/beyondthebump (postpartum)
  
• /r/breastfeeding
  
• /r/FormulaFeeders (formula feeding)
  
• /r/boobsandbottles (for combination feeding)
  
• /r/postpartumdepression
  
• /r/Buyingforbaby
  
• /r/clothdiaps (if you plan to use cloth diapers)
  
• /r/SingleParents (if you will be parenting as a single mother)
  
  There are tons of other relevant subreddits. Many are listed on the right when visiting /r/beyondthebump. Don't be afraid to ask questions. :)

http://www.hypnobirthing.com/howitworks.htm

There's HypnoBirthing, and then "Hypnobabies" is a separate program spun out of it. I actually got the Hypnobabies book first, but didn't like the tone of it (too much time spent being critical of other methods). The main HypnoBirthing text is http://www.amazon.com/HypnoBirthing-natural-approach-comfortable-birthing/dp/0757302661.

The author/found Marie Mongan had her first two babies in the days when they gave you ether so you were passed out when you delivered and they pulled the baby out with forceps. For her third birth she managed to fight to be allowed to have her husband with her and be conscious for delivery. She later became a hypnotherapist and developed a program to apply self-hypnosis (basically deep relaxation) during labor.

During my first labor I spent a bunch of time in the tub with my eyes closed doing visualization and I have to say it worked really well. I found myself able to see the contractions a "separate" from myself and they didn't really hurt. But I found as I got more and more tired, it was harder to maintain this state. So, I'm wondering/hoping that HypnoBirthing might be the answer to doing a more thorough job at that. But it's the sort of thing that seems like it only works if you believe it will, so I'm trying to convince myself :)

There are HypnoBirthing classes where I am. But I've been so focused on my older child that by the time I started thinking about this, the classes in my area were full. But I'm at least reading the book myself and going to start listening to the CD tonight.

It's definitely worth checking out. You kind find a lot of positive birth stories and videos online.

Congratulations! Welcome to the journey :D. As far as books go, my husband likes The Expectant Father--it's full of good advice and doesn't treat you like a clueless idiot. For after the baby's born, The Baby Owner's Manual takes a humourous approach to the first year of newborn care.

I haven't given birth yet, but I've really enjoyed Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds.

The Expectant Father has been very useful for me, it breaks down the changes both mother and baby go through month by month, and offers suggestions for dealing with the fears and challenges of fatherhood.

I hope it works out and he gets more involved and supportive! Good luck!

Right there with ya, man. A lot of the fear I had was washed away seeing how happy and excited everyone was. Got any good books to recommend? This is my first one so far, and it’s been a great read so far. Made me feel a little less alone in this bat shit crazy adventure!

>I'm not familiar with that book but my assumption is that it's similar to the Mayo one since it seems to be from PHS.

Is this the book?
http://www.amazon.com/Mayo-Clinic-Guide-Healthy-Pregnancy/dp/1561487171

>I'm not sure what first time mothers are like over there but in the US there are various camps trying to pedal one thing or the other and all sorts of infighting. It's super confusing and overwhelming.

Haven't heard of that over here to be honest. What kind of thing are they pedalling?

Congratulations! it is the best thing you will ever do!

This book was helpful for me, from a practical perspective, the first time around...

https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789210770/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1510663838&sr=8-2&keywords=the+expectant+father&dpID=51iPVMyUiDL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy is my favorite pregnancy book, and Happiest Baby on the Block is great for the newborn stage.

Mayo Clinic Guide

Happiest Baby

Congratulations!
When I found out, my sister sent me these two books, both of which I found very useful. The first one is a general guide for dads-to-be, the second one focuses on "birth partners", which can be very useful depending on how much of a role you plan on playing in the actual delivery.

The Expectant Father

The Birth Partner

This is a false analogy. The human body is not built mentally, physiologically or hormonally to experience a tooth being surgically removed. Pregnancy and giving birth are coordinated by a host of processes that have been honed by millions of years of evolution. That's not to say it isn't painful or dangerous, but almost every medical procedure in modern births either attempts to replicate or supercede those processes and don't do so without serious trade offs.

If you are seriously interested - I highly recommend "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a better birth"

Have you read Barbara Luke's book about expecting multiples? While some of the things she says in there are a touch alarmist IMO, one of the things she mentions is that early weight gain is good for twins. Remember, you're doubling the baby, the fluid, the placenta and your blood volume!

My weight gain has actually slowed a bit now - there's just not enough room for me to eat anything substantial.

Do you have baby classes at your hospital? There are usually classes for newly pregnant couples, and some for the couples that are mid-stage or later. I HIGHLY recommend you get him in these classes. They go over the changes to your body, what the baby is doing, the birth, and after care. Highly worth the $60 we paid.

Otherwise, just sounds like your hubby is ignorant, or not trying to learn, no offense (or you may just need to communicate more, see down below). I know personally it's been interesting reading up on the changes. Even if you get to the classes, I'd highly recommend the Mayo clinic book. It's a bit more detailed than the "what to expect when expecting..."

A note on the "baby-suit". Do you really think it's worth spending money on this? From what I've read, they are not very realistic. First, you don't gain all the weight at once, it's gradual. You also have lots of hormones helping (and making things difficult) along the way. The suits are usually just a way to make the mom feel better, but really doesn't effectively simulate being pregnant.


Or...maybe you just need to have a talk with him about being more empathetic for you... Coming from experience, many guys (me included), just don't always get "it".

The expectant father is a great book. My husband loves it, and even I read it from time to time. There is also a follow up to this one about what to expect in the first months that is quite good.

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be https://www.amazon.de/dp/0789212137/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_II3tzbYYEP7KW

My wife craved chips and salsa. Never had the pickles and ice cream level stuff though.

Also, your gonna be a dad! Congrats! I'm a father of 4, so I've definitely been there :-) I'd highly recommend the book "The Expectant Father" ( http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0789210770/ref=aw_2nd_sims_3?pi=SL500_SY115) as it really helped me understand what she was going through. There is a second book in the series about the first year that was good too

i liked this one. https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1493832134&sr=8-1&keywords=the+expectant+father

touches on science, if not too deeply, has some nice historical tales about how modern fathering developed from ancient times, breaks down the experience month by month with what's going on with you and what's going on with your partner.

also, as a nice added touch, it offers insights for adoptive and ART dads. that said, i found it easy to skip sections that did not pertain to me and pick up later in the chapter without missing anything.

edit: the authors also have a subsequent book that's geared more to the new father rather than the expectant one.

My hope is to do a natural, hospital birth. I'm currently reading this book and am feeling assured by it. The hospital we are using allows women to labor in positions other than their backs and they let you adjust the lights/have music/take showers/walk/etc. My mother had four natural births in the 70's all under 8 hours from start to finish and my sister has had similarly quick and uncomplicated births, so I am hopeful. I'm thinking of hiring a doula as well to handle some of the advocacy issues.

You probably will make it to at least that far. Esp if you have di-di twins. This book was helpful for me: When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy, https://www.amazon.com/dp/0061803073/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_DGhTub0ARTDN0. Good luck!

I'm planning a natural birth in a hospital, too! So far my only preparation has been reading Ina May's books and I really enjoyed the book Natural Hospital Birth. I also plan to hire a doula who has tons of experience working at my particular hospital. We plan to have 2 formal meetings before birth to talk about how the transfer will go and get reassurance about dressing/eating/drinking/moving/vocalizing however I want once I'm there. Having a doula with me continuously through labor is really important to me!

I just got The Expectant Father. It's very similar to the what to expect books I guess, but has useful content for dads. I've found it a great way to follow along the pregnancy.

I am planning a VBAC in September. /u/Dubaus pointed you in a good direction. In addition to Ina May, I read The VBAC Companion which I found very informative and helpful.

I also hired a doula because I am planning on having a hospital birth with a very large OB group. While my OB is extremely VBAC friendly, not all of her partners are, and it's not guaranteed that she'll be at my daughter's birth. She is the one who suggested it actually. I'm also going to labor at home for as long as possible to avoid unnecessary interventions. Along that line, another book I read if you are having a hospital birth is Natural Hospital Birth.

Hope this helps!

The Expectant Father! Both my SO and I read this book, and I LOVED it more than most of the lady-focused ones.

And, Conscious Parenting. I grew up in a family that was similar to your SO's. This book was great for me.

For books, I've been enjoying:

1. She's having a baby, I'm having a breakdown
   
   
2. Dad's Pregnant Too
   
   
3. The Dumb White Husband's Guide to Babies
   
   I have not enjoyed The Expectant Father, because I feel it goes into too many details about what can go wrong, and frankly, I don't want to read that unless I need to.
   
   The first three listed books are light hearted and easy to read, and provide lots of useful information.
   
   The best tip I can offer, which I got out of one of the books is to write your wife a note every week. I write a couple paragraphs talking about how the last week went for us, and then talk about the little things she does for me that will make her a great mom (such as making me coffee in the the morning even though she doesn't drink it). Yes, I realize she won't make coffee for the baby, but she will do things for him/her even if she doesn't like it, to make them happy.

I would like to second The Baby Owner's Manual for your boyfriend.

I recently got the Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 6th Edition: Birth to Age 5, which is a great reference for all sorts of "what do I do about this?" questions. It's written by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

I also really like The American Academy of Pediatrics New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for some basic step-by-step suggestions for starting breastfeeding and continuing at different ages.

Congrats!

I had to tell my coworkers so that I didn't go crazy from not telling anyone else. I would read some books about becoming a father and what she is going through right now. I started to read a book called the The Expectant Father.

My wife and I are both 28 with our first kid on the way. When my wife first told me we took alot of tests and even went to urgent care on fathers day just to make sure. I was shocked and in disbelief. It took a few weeks and visits to the doctor to make it feel real. If you want to talk or anything feel free to shoot me a PM.

Welcome! We have a bunch of info on the sub, if you want to check out the sidebar. Please feel free to pop into the daily chats -- I think it's a lot of acronyms and stuff at first, but everybody's new at some point, and you pick it up pretty quickly.

If you're interested in doing some pre-IUD-removal reading, I would suggest Taking Charge of Your Fertility (long but definitive) or The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant (shorter).

You may be interested in It Starts With the Egg for recommendations of supplements that would be helpful for you specifically.

You and your husband may also find Don’t Cook the Balls helpful. They have science backed articles about male fertility and what you can try to boost sperm health.

> how much he neeeeedddssss it

I would say you should explain to him that you neeeeeed him to respect you in this and to have some compassion.

I got my husband a copy of the Expectant Father and he's found it helpful and informative. If your guy won't listen when you explain what you need, maybe he'll listen if it's coming from a book. Or, no offense, I'm sure he's a great guy and has tons of redeeming qualities, but if he's as immature as this post makes him sound, maybe Dude, You're Gonna be a Dad might be more his speed.

Also, explain to him that pregnancy pulls crazy shit with our senses of smell, and for now you need him to either stop using his cologne or understand that he needs to wash it off before you can be near him.

But as far as meeting those neeeeeeds of his ... would it be nuts to take a trip to your local woman-owned sex toy shop to look for some toys to tide him over? There are some very classy men's masturbation devices out there, like tenga (nsfw) though they can get pricey. Maybe seeing that you still care about his sex needs would help him feel better, even if you're not able to drain his nuts yourself?

I found out that I'm pregnant a couple of weeks ago (totally unplanned) and I love books. Would love one of these! http://www.amazon.com/dp/0811876942/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_S_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=325CPFO3TOR7Q&coliid=I10SUM4VQVBM52

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0761148574/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=325CPFO3TOR7Q&coliid=IDDJHQG7INVYP