(Part 2) Best products from r/Advice

> I can control my physical urges no problem, but it's the whole mental and /social/ part I want to do away with.

I don't even bother creating an artificial difference between physical and mental. As you probably remember, I called it human nature.

I wasn't trying to convince you that you are an incel or a nice guy, I was trying to make it clear that you're close to it and that those are mental traps that you shouldn't fall into. Which you probably won't do now.

> That's reasonable. I guess I could adjust my expectations of how difficult it should be to obtain a relationship.

There you go. First step is achieved.

>when is it worth it to pursue? When do you know you're disrespecting yourself or when it's just the way that it is?

It's not like that. It's simply a matter of you have to learn a certain pattern and that pattern is slightly different for every girl you meet and every situation you are in. But you can somewhat manipulate the situation and you have some control over the type of girl, but it still involves a lot of hit and miss. But as you get rejected, you skin thickens and it doesn't hurt as much.

It's simply learning how to do it, like riding a really complex bicycle over unsteady ground. Before you've figured it out, you'll fall a couple of times.

There shouldn't be any disrespect involved. You simply change yourself into someone that's more desirable. And where you can't you create the illusion or you cover it up. I was never good at it either. I was seriously mistreated as a kid, so I ended up socially damaged, to the point where I couldn't have friends or any type of relationship. Still, I managed to get from that point, to the point of establishing successful relationships in a matter of two or three years. I could have just not done, it but then I'd still be single to this day and people are social animals, they're not supposed to be all alone, that's not good for them.

So it takes some time, but that's fine. Who cares if it takes that long. And you only have to score once, that's the thing. You only need to hook that perfect girl once and do it right.

Anyway, to get there, you need a manual and as I said, that does exist, but they're a bunch of sleazebags. Those sleazebags are "pick up artists". They are guys that figure out ways, to have sex with as many women as possible. Now, I'm not suggesting you turn yourself into one. What I am suggesting, is that they work with simple sets of rules and guidelines and if you learn those patterns, you can use those same methods to hook a girl.

Now, that's a bit like hypnosis. You're not going to be able to get any kind of girl you want with that, it'll be someone that's vulnerable to these techniques, so a strong independent women, you're not going to get like that. But plenty of nice girls are out there, that can be won over this way.

And again, you'll only have to score once, compared to their dozens and dozens of tries.

There are books on the subject, videos, and they hang out in certain places, but I haven't had to deal with their scene for more than 10 years (I got my one score and I'm not letting go), so I don't know exactly what books and sites are currently in fashion. They also have their own language, with all sorts of lingo you have to learn and you might have to spend some cash for some of the videos or website access (though I never did, I just used the free resources).

It's a bit of tricky scene (it's not that different from con artists after all...). But it does work.

I think they hang out here now: https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Or here: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/

And this is a currently popular book: https://www.amazon.com/Dating-Playbook-Men-Proven-System/dp/B012DHEJAY

And here's a book of a guy that penetrated the pickup artist scene: https://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/B002DN9I1Y

You get the idea, just google it, read the forums, you'll find the resources.

And there's a 400k strong community on Reddit, but I don't know much about them, you'll have to do your own research, go sort it on top of all time and then read the top 100 posts for example: /r/seduction/

If that approach doesn't work for you, then there are still other venues. But it ends up a bit more complicated and expensive from there. But you'll still end up with person that will love you and look up to you. You'll just have to teach her English first.

Relationships are just a problem to overcome. Just like any other issue in life. You figure out the cause and you find a way to fix it.

I went through a period of no friends. I have battled with depression, so I know what you're feeling. Unfortunately and fortunately, I realized that I had no real friends during a really bad bout of depression. At first, I felt really sad that no one cared. Like you, the only happy birthday wish I got was from my 3 immediate family members.

After a while of wallowing, I came upon a realization- it was better to have no friends at all than fake friends. I began to work on myself and had another realization- I could be the best to myself. Everything I was missing in my life(friend, mom, family, significant other, etc.), I could be that best version to myself. When I realized that, I decided that I would no longer settle for shitty people in my life. So, I began to be thankful for the opportunity to realize where I had been and where I wanted go to, as far as who I surrounded myself with.

At that point, I chose not to actively look for friends but to be open to the possibility. If anyone came into my life, I'd only let them stay if they supported me mentally and emotionally, made an effort to understand who I am, didn't make fun of me, treated me fairly, respected my boundaries, brought joy into my life, etc.

As part of working on myself that I mentioned above, I began to read blogs, comics, & articles, watch videos, read books and the like about subjects pertaining to mental, emotional, and spiritual health-

• depression
  
  
• anxiety
  
  
• healthy relationships, signs of abusive relationships
  
  
• mental vs emotional abuse
  
  
• setting boundaries
  
  
• compassionate communication
  
  
• narcissistic parents/people
  
  
• adhd, autism, and the spectrum
  
  
• OCD
  
  
• different spiritual beliefs(not religious beliefs, although world religions interest me as well)
  
  
• mindfulness
  
  
• types of meditation
  
  
• healthy coping mechanisms
  
  
• introversion vs. extroversion
  
  
• being assertive without being aggressive
  
  Anywhere those searches lead me, I followed. I didn't do this every day because some days, some weeks, it was hard to be motivated to do anything. But, after spending some time forcing myself out of bed, and making time, it got easier. Books like this were incredibly helpful.
  
  I also began to see a therapist and healer. They were very supportive with my choices and nonjudgemental about my life and what I had been through. My advice is, if you choose the therapy route, please find someone you mesh well with. Don't stick with someone just because they are a therapist. You should like them and be comfortable with them. After all, you'll be seeing them on a regular basis and delving into some deep things with this person!

You'll probably want to start slow and work your way into it. Start with recognizing when you have a few spare minutes to read. Pick up some short story collections that interest you and read a short story when you have a few minutes. Do that more often and work your way up to chapter books - books you can read a chapter at a time. Before you know it you'll be hooked. This works even better if you have an E-Reader/Android/Kindle/Fire device. I recommend the Amazon Fire HD 6 Tablet [on sale now: $70/8gb, $90 16gb]. With Amazon Prime (~$100/year) you get free Kindle books, free TV shows and free movies. I can store ~3.5 hours of TV shows on my 16b Fire HD6 (download them at work, watch them at home on my big screen TV). It. Is. Awesome. Oh yeah, free Kindle books too. And check out /r/FreeEbooks/ for more.

> You’re suffering from something called impostor syndrome, which is something many successful people have. No matter how good you are and how far you come, you still feel like it’s a mistake and you aren’t worthy.

You know, that really puts things into perspective for me. I've recently had an interview and just looking at my resume you can see I'm very successful; I have a patent pending, ivy education, and president of some things which their contributions have seen positive attention from media.

The interviewer asked me the following question:

> What is an achievement that you are particularly proud of?

There was a long pause, and she was surprised. I could objectively see why, but I wanted to be honest--so I thought about it. I don't really feel that way. In the end, I answered something along the lines of being able to create something out of nothing, which is something that few people seem to be able to do. Zero to One by Peter Thiel is a book that kind of puts this idea into perspective. Honestly though, I still feel like I could do better and I feel like I've made far too many mistakes that I shouldn't have made in the past.

Omniheat technology from Columbia Sportswear. Highly recommend. Get the jacket, and the snow shoes. Lightweight but super warm because it reflects your own body heat back at you.

https://www.columbia.com/

​

Plastic on the windows is a great energy saver

https://www.amazon.com/3M-Indoor-Window-Insulator-5-Window/dp/B00002NCJI/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1538434915&sr=8-2&keywords=plastic+window+covering+for+winter

​

At least 2 ice scraper/snow brush combo tools. One in the car and one in your home

An electric throw blanket for the couch

Mug warmer for tea/coffee at your desk or also home

​

​

​

I can totally relate to this! I love that you are that considerate and appreciative of your father. I would buy one of these. They are only 99$ and you can load it with free audiobooks, music, board games etc.

If that is not an option or he own something similar than I recommend finding books or book series that you both can read/listen to and so every time you see him you can discuss what has gone on. Hope this helps! Best of luck!

When I was 19 and gaming all day I was literally a waste because I only consumed and produced nothing. I was just a burden to those who were supporting my financially and socially. If you want to be a professional artist then get better than everyone else. Disney only hires the best of the best, same with any other company. Start a YouTube channel and upload consistently. Find your own way. You're not 14 anymore. Life will hit you soon. Also know that introversion is not a bad thing. It's just a different way of thinking. I'm introverted myself and can solve problems most extroverts can't. I recommend reading this book: https://www.amazon.ca/Introvert-Advantage-People-Thrive-Extrovert/dp/0761123695 It delves into understanding extroversion and introversion from each other's perspective. It's pretty good and you may learn a few things about yourself.

Buy some swag...... give one out at the beginning of class for answering a question right and then tell them you'll give another one out in about 15 minutes. Lay down ground rules at the beginning of class. Raise your hand. No shouting out answers. Say that sometimes you'll give out a prize and sometimes you'll give a 5point bonus on a quiz/test. Start every class with a question they have to answer and they have to raise their hands to answer. Keep track of the points. Ask them questions about themselves. "How many people here play a sport?" "Who here plays fortnite?" Ask them anything that a kid that age does and you know a bit about then bring it back to something that relates to the lesson plan. That's the part where you have to be a good teacher. Relate something in the world to what you're talking about. They don't care about the class ..... well it's your job to get them to care.

​

I suggest the stress ball type things ..... squishy

​

https://www.amazon.com/Mini-Sports-Emoji-Balls-Assorted/dp/B0106OC6K6/ref=sr_1_12?keywords=stress+ball+lot&qid=1572396705&sr=8-12

​

Anyone throwing their "prize" has it confiscated.

that's a tough one! I think it depends on what you see for yourself in the next 5-10 years. If there's a job you're thinking of taking in Switzerland and it's something you really like then go for it! But if you're not sure about what you want to do, college is a great place and time to try out a bunch of different things and figure out what you like.

there's a book that I used when I graduated that helped me decided between more school or not and which job to take that I think could help you? Here's the link https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YL448KZ/ I think a big thing is just figuring out what you value and where you see yourself down the road so you can start on the right path to get there

Getting ready for college can often seem intimidating! Getting enough sleep, making schedules and sticking to them, and talking to your professors outside of class are all great strategies for success. Check out more great ideas in How to Survive Your Freshman Year (https://www.amazon.com/How-Survive-Your-Freshman-Year/dp/1933512997/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2I6TVBGVNVC8R&keywords=how+to+survive+your+freshman+year&qid=1562664553&s=gateway&sprefix=how+to+survive+your+%2Caps%2C271&sr=8-1)

You might be better off posting it in a writing forum rather than on Reddit.

https://absolutewrite.com/forums/forum.php Is a good one. There a subforum (hidden to non-members) that you can post your work in to get feedback. You have to have 50 posts before you can start your own thread in that subforum though--this encourages you to critique others' work and be active on the forum instead of just asking for help and then leaving.

When I was active on Absolute Write, I only critiqued pieces that that caught my interest within a paragraph or two (they started in the middle of action, had a gripping first sentence, had a distinct voice, vivid description, or an interesting/sympathetic character). I didn't critique anything that was horribly cliche, bland, slow, no voice, cardboard characters, etc. The former I was able to give a few specific suggestions to, while the latter was hard to force myself to read through when I knew I'd have to spend a lot of time giving advice on how to fix *everything*.

If you're not getting replies while other people are, it's possible that your story just isn't good enough to grab anyone's attention. How much writing have you done? How many books on writing have you read? If this is your first writing project and you haven't "studied" the craft at all, it's likely not going to be very good. Writing is a skill that requires a lot of practice and learning.

The "Write Great Fiction" series offers good advice on five main elements of writing stories: https://www.amazon.com/Write-Great-Fiction-Description-Setting-ebook/dp/B003YJEYCY/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1537898259&sr=8-3&keywords=write++great+fiction&dpID=51Ac%252BAJ-EPL&preST=_SY445_QL70_&dpSrc=srch Not sure how old you are, but I read it in high school so it's good for young people starting out too.

a hot plate would be great! you can get really far with one of those, and they're honestly not that bad. i've never had any issues with them. some of them have been better than actual stoves in the kitchens of some people i know. i would really invest in one of those, perhaps one of the ones where you have two in one sorta like this ~ https://www.amazon.com/Brentwood-TS-372-Double-Electric-Hotplate/dp/B0042W7FAU

Anytime. I hope you are able to get what you want soon - Here are a couple books that really helped me the most when I was super unmotivated,might be able to help you too!

https://www.amazon.com/Second-Rule-Transform-Confidence-Everyday/dp/B06W9M3QDJ/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1538018681&sr=8-2&keywords=the+five+second+rule+mel+robbins

​

https://www.amazon.com/Values-Factor-Creating-Inspired-Fulfilling/dp/B00FH1P5RA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1538018715&sr=1-1&keywords=values+factor&dpID=51G6GfcbhBL&preST=_SX342_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

A FB friend of mine recently wrote a book about procrastination. Maybe it would help you. I believe its available for free to download or really cheap. The title is "Procrastination Annihilation" https://www.amazon.com/Procrastination-Annihilation-Ending-Tragedy-Yourself-ebook/dp/B07FTP3ZYW/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_3?adid=082VK13VJJCZTQYGWWCZ&campaign=211041&creative=374001&keywords=Procrastination+Annihilation&qid=1558028232&s=books&sr=1-3-fkmrnull

Did you know Amazon will donate a portion of every purchase if you shop by going to smile.amazon.com instead? Over $50,000,000 has been raised for charity - all you need to do is change the URL!

Here are your smile-ified links:

https://smile.amazon.com/Constantly-Varied-Womens-Chipotle-T-Shirt/dp/B00VS4ULT2/ref=sr_1_1

---

^^i'm ^^a ^^friendly bot

https://www.amazon.com/Constantly-Varied-Womens-Chipotle-T-Shirt/dp/B00VS4ULT2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502311479&sr=8-1&keywords=running+t+shirt+chipotle

You're welcome