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Sorry brotha, but I can't allow you to do this. I'm not going to sit here and drop the usual cliche on how you can improve your life. I'm sure you heard it all before. I can only tell you that I know how you feel. My whole life I have been battling with mental health problems because of a fucked up childhood. I was only a kid when I first tried to end my life. I could never dream of a day where things would have gotten better for me.. but it did. There's no cookie-cutter solution I can give you that would immediately improve your life. We are all different and your particular outlook on life is a product of your own life experiences.

I know though my own experiences and interacting with others who were contemplating suicide that the main source of our angst is our own toxic mindset and loneliness. There is nothing wrong with you. Just to put it into context, if you were the same person you are now, but surrounded by many who adored and loved you, your outlook on life and yourself would be drastically different. In a way your validation of yourself and your life comes externally instead of from within. Because your life is void of many elements that you believe is needed to constitute a satisfying life you have come to the conclusion that it is not worth living.

If you believe race is a major contributor to your misery than remove race as a factor. Move to an Asian enclave where you are the majority and no one would give a second thought about your race.

If your dead end job is reinforcing this perception of yourself of being a person of little value than find something that will give you fulfillment. It doesn't have to be something that brings you a shitload of money, but just something that you can be proud of or you enjoy doing. Heck, if you're seriously thinking about ending your life, go balls to the wall and start your own business on the side! It can be anything that you have interest in. With outsourcing (cheap labor), cloud, and the wealth of information online, you can start many businesses without much capital. At my gf's workplace there's this doctor who didn't become one until he was 45. It's never too late to pursue whatever you want if you have the drive and willingness.

If past failed dating experiences have jaded your views on relationship than replace it with new experiences. The truth is, most of us have had bad experiences at one time or another. Most people in general make shitty partners. But don't let a few rotten apples prevent you from hopping on the horse and trying again. Download every dating apps you can think of, go on those dating meetups, or do whatever you have to do get your tip wet or find that true love if that's what you're looking for. There are just as many women out there who are single and nearing middle age/30s+ that are in desperate need of loving. For women it's even more difficult being single when you start getting older. Worst comes to worst, tap into the divorcee pool and get yourself a heartbroken hunny looking for a rebound.

If you have few close friends than it's time to make some more by opening yourself up and actively seeking some. A solid homie is not just going to pop up in your life. Good friends are hard to come by and takes work like any relationship. What are your interests or hobbies? It's easier to make friends when you have a common interest. There's a meetup, convention, local chapter, etc. for everything you can possibly conceive of. If being Asian is a big part of your identity and life, go join an Asian org or asian club sports team at your local community center. There's leagues for every age range, so you can find others similar to yourself. Once you graduate college, it's difficult for most to make new meaningful friendship. You're going to have to put in the effort. Finding that bromance is no different than find a great woman.

Ultimately, you don't have to be different to belong. You just have to find your place. For some it comes easy and natural, for others we have to work for it. The moment you adopt a defeatist attitude is the day you pretty much accepted that life is unfair and hard but it's not within your control to dictate. We both know that's not true. Yes, your cards may be stacked against you. Yes, being Asian is like playing hardcore mode in America, but it's not impossible. All you have to do is get more skilled at playing the game of life.

Ask yourself what you really want out of life. Make a list of short term/long term goals, things you want do, see, accomplish however big or small. Having a direction in life and something to work towards is very important because it gives our lives meaning.

And all it really takes is one person to really change our lives around. Whether it is yourself after finding that self-empowerment or through another, don't lose hope until the very end. We become discontent with our lives when our lives become stagnant. Progress is important. Keep working on yourself, read and watch a shitload of self-help books and videos. Start caring less about what other people think. Put yourself out there. Open yourself up to the world. Take risks. And after all this if you still feel the same than at least you have the satisfaction knowing that you didn't leave one rock left unturned and you lived your life to the fullest.

I recommend this book to you. It can help you on adopting a new outlook on life and replacing it with your current toxic views: https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Buddhas-Teaching-Transforming-Liberation/dp/0767903692/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1482592780&sr=8-3&keywords=buddhism

You deserve to be happy. You have to let yourself. Happiness is a state of mind. It truly is. Buddhist monks in Bhutan are considered the happiest in the world, yet they have none of the things you speak of. It's like if you took an exam for class that was hard af, and you just found out you aced it. Immediately, your whole day starts looking brighter and everything starts going your way. The exam itself did not give you the feeling of happiness or your newfound positive outlook on life, it's just a meaningless piece of paper.. you did. You created that sensation, that release of hormones, by perceiving things in a more positive lens. You have to become aware that your perception and reality is not actually reality. It is a sum of your own bias life experiences and exposures. Keep fighting for the life you want. We're all rooting for you brotha!

> I just finished listening to it. One of the most cerebral podcasts and there is a lot to process. I've definitely been educated. I'm very much looking forward to a lot more from /u/noname888
Thanks, there will definitely be more soon!

> That was clarity. Thanks for that awesome explanation of the recent drama on /r/AM. I'm no longer wondering wtf really happened.

You're welcome. Sometimes it's a lot easier to explain things verbally than write a long explanation.

> When he was attending Seoul University, he had quite a few Chinese classmates. When he asked them why they chose to study in Seoul University, they said that they didn't choose Seoul University because they think it's better than the Universities in China. They chose to attend Seoul University because it is more westernized. They said that they wanted to absorb the western way of thinking, take that knowledge back to China, and then help China become more competitive against the west.

I feel like this maybe has to do with the stage of industrial development in China? Today, Korea is a first-world country, so the urgency may not be there for collective growth, freeing people to think more about their own personal situation. Totally anecdotal story: I once had a long talk with a Korean college professor in the sciences. He told me that when he was a kid in the 1950s, he and his classmates would wake up every morning to build a strong Korea. If I'm remembering right, Ha Joon Chang talks about this in his book Kicking Away the Ladder. I think that during the 1950s, S. Korea as an economy was poorer than Kenya -- but today it is one of the world's most developed industrial economies. Chang attributes this to smart industrial policy that protected Korean native industries until they were strong enough to compete internationally. Basically, the enclave strategy =)

> He then moved onto the topic of Chinese acquisitions of US companies. I googled and found this graph. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on all this -- will the U.S. try to stop this? Have they already? Etc.

Chinese companies face the "problem" of holding a lot of US dollars, because for the most part they have been an export-led economy. So they want a place to put that money and get a return greater than they can get on Treasury bills (which are basically a savings account at the Federal Reserve). That pushes them to invest in the United States in things like real estate and American technology. For example, Chinese firms bought Motorola and IBM's Thinkpad division. The US government has already halted some Chinese acquisitions. About 10 years about CNOOC (Chinese oil company) tried to buy Unocal and the US government stopped them. I expect that the US government will continue to bar Chinese firms from buying assets in the US with strategic value. For example, if a Chinese firm tried to buy Cisco, I doubt the US government will let it happen. I mention Cisco because it came to light about 7 or 8 years ago that Chinese companies had built exact duplicates of Cisco routers and were selling them into the US IT market. Maybe you've heard about this? I think the FBI found out that these fake routers were backdoored. Yeah.

> Finally, he was telling me his experience while raising money for the company. He told me that in about 30% of the venture firms he's dealt with, they had at least 1 Chinese partner on the team. He also mentioned the difference between Chinese investors and US investors. U.S. investors were more concerned about how much % they would get back on their investment, whereas the Chinese investors' questions were also about the global effect the product would have (on top of the % return on their investment of course).

That's a really interesting story, and it helps me make more sense of what I'm seeing in Chinese consumer products. It seems like in the last few years, especially in mobile phones, new Chinese companies are bringing out products with international appeal.

> All of this is highly anecdotal, but he's very well educated, very well traveled, very successful so I just STFU and listened as he talked for 3 hours. I'm interested in hearing your take on all this. Maybe in another Podcast? :)

I really appreciate your comments here, I don't actually follow the China business situation that closely anymore, so it's always good to hear information from someone who is close to the action. No worries about the haste...we're all busy people!

You're short, you have acne, you dress poorly, you're no fun to be around, you have no friends/squad, you're shy/introverted/won't approach, you look like a boy and have no authority, you have no sexual experience ... why do you think you should have a girlfriend again?

I know I'm being harsh, but the earlier you learn this the better: you must offer value. Otherwise why do you think anyone would be with you?

Work on the things you can, accept the things you can't.

Short - no solution.

Acne - eat better, sleep better, see a dermatologist.

Learn to dress better.

Finally, learn to socialize. This will have all kind of cascading effects. You will be more fun to be around, you will have a squad, you will have authority based on your friends' opinions of you. It definitely won't be easy, and sure, it goes against what you think is your fundamental nature, but right now, your fundamental nature is also to be girlfriendless. How badly do you want to change the situation?

Some tips for being more sociable: Be generous with your time and thoughts. Compliment people. Listen to them. Think about what they need and offer to help them. Again, you must offer value. Sometimes you won't get anything back. That's part of the pain of the learning process. Let that unrequited kindness go.

Here's a book that may help you with your introverted nature. In part, the author recommends faking it until you make it. Make it into a game, so you can step away, and you can reward yourself for small bit of progress:

https://www.amazon.ca/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153

Hey, sorry for replying so late. So which state are you in? I'm pretty sure you need a PTCB certification and a state registration to apply for a hospital job.

You need to study a book for the PTCB examination. Some people recommend going to school, but I only studied a book to pass the PTCB test. It's quite easy.

I recommend this book:

http://smile.amazon.com/Mosbys-Pharmacy-Technician-Certification-Examination/dp/0323113370/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413195737&sr=8-1&keywords=mosby%27s+guide+pharmacy+technician

Pretty straightforward and easy to understand. Afterwards, just take the test. Make sure you are ready because it costs 150+ per exam and you can only have three tries per 6 months (or something like that).

When you get your PTCB certification, apply for the state registration. There's no requirements but your record must be clean.

Once you get both, apply for a hospital job. Always aim high, you never know where it'll get you. And never go for a retail pharmacy job.

Hope it helps.

I think one thing to do is not only get your kid into the athletic side of sports, but also to the career or academic side of it. Rather than encourage your kid to be an athlete, you should be promoting the concept of becoming an athlete/coach or athlete/trainer or athlete/manager, etc.

Just having your kid trying to become the best athlete is very short sighted, and you're limiting the potential success of your kid through sports. Let's be honest, your kid isn't going to be the next Pacquiao. But he could become a great trainer with a bunch of gyms in the area he lives in, well connected to the boxing industry. He could become an executive or manager or trainer within the industry. You could have your kid learn math through sports for example. There's plenty of nerdy analysis in all sports, since Moneyball came out.

Just snagged a copy on amazon. I have a huge backlog on books to read but I'm excited. Any thoughts on this book other than a quote? What do you think about it? Also Eddie Huang's new book is coming out: "Double Cup Love: On the Trail of Family, Food, and Broken Hearts in China".

http://www.amazon.com/Double-Cup-Love-Family-Broken/dp/0812995465/

>In the follow-up to his bestselling coming-of-age memoir Fresh Off the Boat, now a hit show on ABC, celebrity chef Eddie Huang tells a powerful story about love and family and what really makes us who we are. After growing up in a wild first-generation immigrant family in the comically hostile world of suburban America, Huang begins to wonder just how authentic his Chinese identity really is. So he enlists his brothers Emery and Evan and returns to the country his ancestors abandoned. His immediate goal is to sample China’s best food and see if his cooking measures up to local tastes—but his deeper goals are to reconnect with his homeland, repair his frayed family relationships, decide whether to marry his all-American (well, all-Italian-American) girlfriend, and figure out just where to find meaning in his life.

I've tried benozyl peroxide, salicylic acid, oral medication, etc. but what worked for me was a gentle face cleanser like Cetaphil and a toner like Thayers. Also make sure to wash your pillow cover often.

If your acne is genetically related like mine then exercising and diet won't really make your acne any better (but still have a healthy lifestyle).
Over-washing your face will make your acne even worse because it dries out your skin which makes your body create more oil leading to more acne.
I would only recommend Accutane as a last resort because of it's many side effects.

>Ho didn't defend shit, his regime proudly valued their Marxist allies' aid more than morality or anything approaching people's rights if they opposed that of the state.

HCM was actually a pretty shrewd diplomat who played the Chinese off against the USSR and used both for aid while completing his domestic objective of unifying the country. Need I remind you that he appealed to the United States first before going to the socialist bloc for aid? America was too busy propping up the French and later the "Republic" of Vietnam.

Ho listened to the Chinese and used their resources to develop a "people's war" division in the form of the Viet Cong and stockpiled Soviet heavy artillery, tanks, and aircraft because they wanted him to fight a conventional land war against the RoV. By never fullying adopting one doctrine but switching between the two as time went on, the North was able to wheedle more aid out than was strictly necessary by making China and Russia compete to see who could be more influential. And as Nixon withdrew they were able to dial back the VC and ramp up the conventional combined arms conflict to crush the South.

I recommend reading Karnow's Vietnam: A History if you want the most comprehensive take on the war, with interviews from senior officials on all 3 sides of the conflict.


>Both are now backwater countries that have been superseded by their neighbors.

Which neighbors? The US leveled nearly all of SE Asia with the exception of Thailand.

> No, but it's just as corrupt as a system that instead of buying land, let's you "rent it from the state" with payouts to the appropriate cadre members. Is this really what you want for the future of Asia?


At the risk of sounding like a pot kettle attack that's how real estate works everywhere. Trump pays the mafia to develop. People in north St. Louis are going to get kicked out of their homes when the defense mapping agency moves across town. Ever since Kelo v. City of New London the Supreme Court has ruled that the government can seize your property as a taking for the enjoyment of private developers, not just in the public interest.

>Just like the unwillingness of this sub to be anything but a pro-communist echo chamber.

It's not like I even think state socialism or Mao is that great of a dude. I just don't see a lot of compelling evidence to suggest that the Republic of Korea, the KMT, or any of the other groups they fought against were that much better. If their causes were so righteous and backed by the world's preeminent superpower then how did they lose?

Fair enough, but I will temper all AF's consideration against my own interest and in games of chance, the house always has the advantage.

I think I read somewhere it take a man 10 years to fully move on from his divorce and the average legal fees for a divorce is $40,000.

It's all a cost-benefit test, man.

Does she have a history of self-hate? Does she fetishize certain cultural or ethic groups? Has she gone out of her way to avoid her people? What do her peers think about her dating history? Does she feel men are to be used as walking sperm wallets? Does she adopt/espouse radical feminist beliefs?

Check out this eye-opening book which shows what women are capable of:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Key-Logger-Forbidden-Glimpse-ebook/dp/B00FZXE2HY

Peace,
KK

My go-to book for a reference on discrimination against Asians and the construction of Asian masculinity within a white supremacist society is "Asian American Sexual Politics: The Construction of Race, Gender, and Sexuality" by Chou http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14366163-asian-american-sexual-politics

There are tons of other brilliant books but I have yet to find one as eloquent as this piece.

In the book, Chou stresses that the construction of Asian masculinity is intrinsically tied to construction of masculinity for other people-of-color, like black people. Therefore, there are many overlaps between the social troubles that Asian folks face in Western countries with other people-of-color, even though not all of them are the same.

I am very interested in the African-American experience, because I feel that they experience racism much more deeply and appreciates the perniciousness of white supremacy more viscerally.

Many excellent books have came out this past year, such as:

Tears we Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson
https://www.amazon.com/Tears-We-Cannot-Stop-America/dp/1250135990

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates
https://www.amazon.com/Between-World-Me-Ta-Nehisi-Coates/dp/0812993543/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

And some classics:

White Like Me: Reflections on Race from a Privileged Son - Tim Wise

What does it Mean to be White - Robin DiAngelo

The Heart of Whiteness - Robert Jensen

I am not your Negro - James Baldwin

Any speech by Martin Luther King and Malcom X is just as good as any of these books. For a brief review on the history of racism and white supremacy in the United States with actual footages, I have found "Eyes on the Prize" series on YouTube offer a more than excellent recount https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts10IVzUDVw

There are many African Americans who see parallels between their own struggle with those of Asian folks Why Black America should care about the Death of Danny Chen, therefore we must return the favor and stand with them and not against them in their struggle for human rights. And on the global scale, China and other countries in Asia must stand with African nations, we might fight the battle against white supremacy. We either rise together or we both get destroyed by this white supremacist world, there is literally no other way

This is my carefully crafted list according to friends/reddit and other sources. enjoy

Skin Care (in order of application)

Hada Labo Rohto Gokujyn Hyaluronic Acid Cleansing Foam, 160ml

https://www.amazon.com/Hadalabo-Hyaluronic-Moisture-Foaming-Cleanser/dp/B01CE5P580/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_194_img_0?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=8BPEN2920DV06DVRDHW1&th=1

Klairs Unscented Toner

https://www.amazon.com/Preparation-Unscented-lightweight-essential-oil-free/dp/B07B65NJLV/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?keywords=Klairs+Unscented+Toner&qid=1563824014&s=beauty&sr=1-1-spons&psc=1

Time Revolution MISHA Essence

https://www.amazon.com/MISSHA-Revolution-Intensive-Treatment-Essence/dp/B01M0XSD38/ref=sr_1_7?keywords=MISHA+Time+Revolution+Night+Repair+AMPOULE&qid=1563824002&s=beauty&sr=1-7

MISHA Time Revolution Night Repair AMPOULE

https://www.amazon.com/Revolution-Science-Activator-Ampoule-MS04-Ampoule/dp/B01GVD228M/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=MISHA+Time+Revolution+Night+Repair+AMPOULE&qid=1563823988&s=beauty&sr=1-6

CNP Laboratory 50 SPF sunscreen (since it doesnt burn like others)- i bought in korea,

Also seems promising is La Roche-Posay Anthelios Cooling Water Lotion Sunscreen

https://www.amazon.com/Roche-Posay-Anthelios-Cooling-Lotion-Sunscreen/dp/B00TBJWP9K/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?keywords=CNP%2BLaboratory%2B50%2BSPF%2Bsunscreen&qid=1563824026&s=beauty&sr=1-2-spons&th=1

Belif The True Cream Aqua Bomb MOISTURIZER

https://www.amazon.com/belif-True-Cream-Aqua-Korean/dp/B00H4GOAZO/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=belief+aqua+bomb&qid=1563824165&s=beauty&sr=1-2

​

Maintenance skincare masks:

Innisfree Jeju Volcanic Clay Mousse Mask Original (I only use twice a week)

https://www.amazon.com/Innisfree-Volcanic-Mousse-Original-100Ml/dp/B013K9METC/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_194_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=1ZWR6ZCQ7GFJK6TKKWSH

Innisfree skin clinic mask-Madecassoside(10 sheets)- Use like every other day

\^ hands down the best face mask

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01EDU19E8/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

What are some habits you guys do or picked up lately that has benefitted you?

I recently read this hella insightful book Deep Work.

One of the things it recommends is routinely practicing memorizing the order of a deck of cards using a memorization technique to improve your concentration. It feels like the brain workout equivalent of doing heavy deadlifts.

From the book, http://imgur.com/a/EP3wK

Also, other book recommendations are greatly appreciated brehs.

I will only recommend one self help book that's ever did anything for me: https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Hurt-Me-Master-Your/dp/1544512287