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I feel for you mama <3 I went through the same thing. Sleep deprivation is brutal. I don't have the time to post a long coherent comment right now (it's midnight here in Canada) but didn't want to leave without sending you a hug, and maybe a few ideas. First off, could your baby be high-needs ? (mine was, he's now a happy and healthy 3 year-old who still doesn't sleep through the night, like his mom and dad, who also don't sleep through the night ;) High-needs babies/toddlers have a more excitable central nervous system, and are notorious bad sleepers -- but in the end, they grow up to be as happy and healthy as their calmer friends. But that doesn't make things easier right now, does it :(
We have a family bed, and nursed / comforted him to sleep every single time. I know how hard it is. Maybe you can get some help during the day so you can take a decent nap, at least ? Maybe papa can take her on weekend mornings and go for a long walk with her in a carrier, while you catch up on zzz's ?
I will try to sign in tomorrow to send you some links, but I found this little blog post by Racheous from Respectful Parenting with several interesting links which are very attachment-oriented, as well as this one written by a mama going though the same thing. Evolutionary Parenting has several good articles on sleep training and its effect on infant development.
You can also get Dr James McKenna's book, Sleeping with your baby and many other resources that can be tailored to your preferences. Anyway... wish I could give you a hand. Please get help so you can rest a little. Parenting is crazy hard and was never intended to be done in solitude... We all need support. You're doing a great job mama ! Hang in there ! <3

My husband and I used this one from 3 wks old until a little before 6 months, when she got too long. We have a king-sized bed, and put her in the middle. We used our regular king-sized bedding, but we laid the bassinet over the top edge of the blankets so that they couldn't come up over it.

This worked great for us, and honestly if she wasn't so mobile and if she wasn't so long, I wish we could go back to this. It was the time. after her bassinet that was so rough for us. We hadn't planned to bed share, but she had other plans (...I type as she lays on my chest).

Tips for this bassinet:

1. It helps not to put it right up against the headboard because moving around will make it bump and possibly wake the baby. We have a solid headboard, but I figure the same would be true with any headboard and you may need to be sure that the bassinet can't slide through the headboard if it isn't a solid headboard design.
   
   
2. I don't know if this is the bassinet you chose, but I added a little extra padding around the outside support poles (not inside with the baby), because my baby liked to sleep on her side (she would lift her feet in the air and flop herself over from day one) and would rest her forehead against it. I actually used the strap covers from her carseat.
   
   
3. When my baby would get out of the center of the bassinet and I would see it, I would move her back. But my baby was quite small when she was born and had a little more wiggle room than most would.
   
   
4. The way that my husband and I slept, the center of the bed wasn't always level, so we put folded up receiving blankets under the support corners as needed to keep the bassinet level and our baby from rolling to one side or another. If you do this though, and it is the same bassinet that we got, be careful to put it just under the support footing and not under the bassinet mattress or it will push up on the bassinet mattress and make it lopsided.
   
   
5. We made sure our pillows were at least 6 inches if not a foot away from the bassinet. I was paranoid about the idea of her putting her face against the net and there being a pillow there.
   
   We didn't have any problems with this bassinet. If I think of any other concerns or things that we did, I will let you know. But for the most part I felt like it was a safe way for her to sleep. If we have another kid, we will likely use it again.

Alright so I flew with a 3.5 year old and a 6 month old by myself to Europe. 30 hours traveled. Oh I was so dead lol but here’s what I did.

I had a leash for the 3.5 year old. I did not want to risk her running away in a gigantic international air port. No no no. She also had a bracelet that was embossed with “if lost call: xxx-xxx-xxxx” (my cellphone obviously). She carried her own little skip hop backpack with her amazon kindle, hello kitty headphones for kids and toys, along with cereal bars, animal crackers and Oreos. The small treat bags.

For the 6 month old (he was formula fed, but that just means I was lugging around 2 bottles and formula powder. And an empty water bottle). I had the diaper bag, which most airlines allow you to carry additionally to a carry on AND handbag. I bought those cheap toy links (like these https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TOKRY5Q/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_SlgvDbQQ31QC5) his favorite stuffed animal and security blanket.

Ask at check in and at the gate if they can move you to the seat with the bassinet. If it’s not taken by another parent with child they will move whoever is sitting there.

My biggest helper was my Graco sit and stand tandem stroller. And my soft structure carrier. I literally used it as my luggage caddy. After checking our suitcases, I put baby in the carrier, carry ons (we had two bc my daughter got her own as a full ticket holder), diaperbag, car seat for the 3 year old (because she needed one in Europe, we were able to borrow and infant seat from family for the baby), kiddos bag, because of course she wouldn’t carry it and my handbag on the stroller. Along with our jackets.

I can also highly recommend buying a passport crossbody bag. I had the passports, flight plan, pen, cash and tickets in there and between me and baby. It beat having to dig it out of my purse every single time we needed it. Just pulled it out from between me and baby.

Also don’t be afraid to ask for help. I’ve been helped out by a bunch of strangers and airport employees. People would help me push the carryons or hold open doors etc.

I know we’re all about “not to much screentime” but honestly, as long as they’re happy and quiet. Leave them be. Since you’ll just have one with you, get up and walk around. Cuddle, sing.

Be prepared that the second flight may not be as smooth as the first one, mood wise. Nurse during landing and takeoff to ease the pressure in babies ears. Get a brand new special toy they get to explore and see for the first time on the plane. Just not one that makes music or sings. To keep your own and the other passengers sanity. Like I said those toy links entertained my 6 month old for all the time he wasn’t sleeping during the 9 hour plane ride from Atlanta to Germany.

I hear you, it is really a choice to be this involved and sensitive to her needs. I have an awesome, smart, happy daughter that gets her needs met. However, I also had to deal with my ability to function as a mother an when I found that I wasn't enjoying our time in the day and I began feeling depressed and anxious, that was no good for her either. So, if you are ever interested, I wrote a book for my daughter to night wean her at 23 months, and it validated her feelings and helped her follow a story about another little girl that was night weaning. I don't know if you are nigh nursing or if her just getting in the bed with you is making you so tired? If she is coming in the bed to nurse, when you are ready try Sally Weans From Night Nursing on Amazon and Kindle. www.amazon.com/Sally-Weans-Night-Nursing-Mitchell/dp/1483933830 I believe it s okay to set some limits and still have a loving relationship with your child and meet their needs. I found it hard to totally compromise myself and still really be present for her. I felt like being present was more important in the day at some point, especially when they become old enough to understand some things. Picture books really help. There may be one on bed sharing too. Good Luck.

I have been in your shoes being so tired I'm in tears. Except I wasn't pregnant so I can't even imagine how much harder it is for you.

Some breastfed babies and toddlers will sleep just fine after nursing to sleep, maybe waking 1-2 times a night for milk. But some will continue to wake up an excessive amount of times looking for milk. I have friends in real life who are experiencing both scenarios so I think it just depends on the disposition of the child. Bottom line you aren't doing anything wrong.



Night weaning can be a really great solution. My favorite approach to night weaning is the same thing /u/that_cachorro_life mentioned in this comment.

The gentle sleep consultant I worked with called it "Breast Request" and it's very gentle." The goal is to get them to fall asleep without the nipple in their mouth. This changes the sleep association of needing the nipple in their mouth to fall back asleep if they wake up in the night.

>You start to nurse to sleep like normal. Once they are nearly asleep (not fully) you pull the nipple out of their mouth. If they request it again by grabbing for it, relatching or crying you give it back immediately and resume nursing again until they are almost asleep. Then repeat by removing the nipple. Eventually they fall asleep.
>
>Eventually the process should get shorter and shorter until you can snuggle to sleep without offering the nipple at all.



I also tried cold turkey night weaning where my husband tended to the baby at night and I left the house and slept somewhere else. He did cry but my husband was there comforting him the whole time. Honestly though the crying was a lot for both of us to handle and after 5 nights of no progress we gave up. Some babies respond well to this though. And I'm mentioning it because yours might respond well if you're not in the house since she's already falling asleep for your mom when you're not there.



Another option that was successful for a friend of mine was to wear long turtle neck sweaters to bed so the milk is just not accessible. She nursed him down and then would just comfort/cuddle him back to sleep telling him the milk is all gone at night. It took about a week and now he SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT. Magic right? This didn't work for us but it worked for her, every kid is different.



One other thing that works for some kids are the weaning story books like Sally Weans from Night Nursing

***

Ultimately night weaning didn't work for us at all in any form. I can speculate why but it's not really important for this post. What ended up working was weaning completely. But we did that at 2yrs 3mo. I wouldn't recommend this unless you feel ready to wean. If so I can give you tips.

Good luck, I'm so sorry you're suffering. Reach out if you need to bounce anything off of us!

Yes! I bought a memory foam mattress for the pack n play (that she never used) so I put that in the living room with one of these types of [pillows] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GZB5SJZ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_pknvDb94DM8TG)
and she always brings her toys over and ends up hanging out on it!

I'm hoping to avoid the same association though with her sleep futon. I have the futon surround with a play gate with only one stuffed bunny inside the gated area. I've been only showing her this bunny during sleepy time hoping she associates it was sleep... I don't think it's clicked yet but oh well, I'll keep trying lol. I'm hoping that if I take the fun out of that room it will help her want to stay asleep.

I don't know if any of that will help at all though lol

Fun! I'm glad I had an October baby, so we could share a mattress come April. Here's what I'm considering for our March baby coming up...

Option one: take the Thermarest for yourself, then use something like a yoga mat tripled over on itself on top of an insulating blanket so kiddo is close to the same height as your bed. Tent floor on bare ground would suck the heat right out of kiddo.

Option two: changing pad on top of the air mattress. It's sides are just tall enough to keep baby from wiggling off the edges at this age.

Depending on the overnight lows, we would do fitted cotton pajamas under next size up fleece pajamas, and of course never a hat when they're so young. Any time my son woke to feed, I would open the fleece to get my hand on his chest to see that he wasn't overheating or too cold.

And bring all.the.things. Enough to change him like three times a night.

Next year you'll want Tuffo Toddler Muddy Buddy Overalls, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001AHXAUY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_sv.yDbDYP774N . They're awesome in the a.m. when the grass is all dewey, or when it actually rains. Never leaked on us, easy to clean. We got size 18mo, rolled the sleeves at 12mo and he could still fit at 2. After that he wanted to wear "regular clothes".

I agree with others, put your baby in a bouncy seat (or other safety belted device) and bring her into the bathroom.

As far as car rides are concerned, I have a few suggestions

1. Get a mirror that you can put on the back headrest, then you can see her and she can look at herself or you... if you haven't already done this.
   
   
2. Try giving her a novel, or textured toy before you ride, giving her something new to experience. Also, try a soft teether that you trust - Sophie the Giraffe was the only one both of my kids liked.
   
   
3. My kids both liked this Little Einstein toy at that age, it saved me on short car trips.
   
   Some kids just ride better than others, I used to listen to classical music when they started freaking out so I could remain calm.
   

It would definitely increase SIDS risk since it's not a firm surface. My advice would be to get a travel bassinet or in-bed cosleeper like this. It will make it safe for babe in your bed until s/he grows out of it, when your bed will probably be safe anyway. Added bonus is that s/he can nap in it too when you're not in bed, and if you travel with babe you can take it with you, making for a familiar sleeping environment in another place. I can't recommend these things enough. I would not flip the mattress as it is not made to be safe or comfortable for anyone when flipped.

Have you ever heard of the book Wonder Weeks?

The Wonder Weeks: How to Stimulate Your Baby's Mental Development and Help Him Turn His 10 Predictable, Great, Fussy Phases into Magical Leaps Forward

https://www.amazon.com/dp/9491882163/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ccFaBb65AZTVC

It explains different phases the baby is going through. There is a “leap” around 8 months which it sounds like your baby may be going through. There is also an app that goes along with it that explains the same information but just not in as great of detail. My LO is the same age as yours right now and she’s going through the same behaviors you’re talking about. Just know this behavior is temporary and once your LO completes this “leap” they will be back to their normal, awesome little selves.

You’re doing a great job!

Not sure how much space you have but this is a self inflating air mattress, really more like a thin pad. This isn’t the exact one I bought but it’s very similar- Bessport Self-Inflating Sleeping Pad 2" Thick Camping Pad Inflatable Foam Sleeping Mat for Camping, Hiking, and Traveling with Patch kit and 2 Carry Bags https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K6HKXXG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_40-yDbR1Q92G0

It was recommended to me as a safe travel mattress, and we’ve safely slept on it when visiting family.

I totally get it. Personally, as long as things don't get out of balance I try not to fret about screen time too much.

If you're really concerned I'd recommend getting a outlet timer. Say that the new rule is that the TV needs to go to sleep and can't wake up until noon or something. Say that we're making this decision together to make sure our minds and bodies grow and are healthy.

Then provide other things that he can use to entertain himself. Building sets, crafts, books, etc. He'll definitely find something when left to it. Remember how entertaining sticks were when left with nothing else? He'll adapt.

There are these pink wafers that once chewed, cling to plaque. I went through everything you have and more with my kid and he is much better since he was around 4, but I wish I had found these sooner. It motivated him to do a good job and gave him a goal while brushing - to get rid of the dye.

Edit - here's a link to one example.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00PUG9XPM/ref=mp_s_a_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1525694519&sr=8-3&keywords=plaque+tablets+for+kids+teeth&dpPl=1&dpID=51pNaWri0PL&ref=plSrch

We have a bed rail like this that we usually bring (ours comes apart into reasonably small pieces, not sure about this exact one), and I just sleep with our baby in between me and the rail, works out pretty well as long as you’re aware if they are moving around or try to crawl to the bottom of the bed!

Regalo Swing Down 54-Inch Extra Long Bed Rail Guard, with Reinforced Anchor Safety System https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005EHNL3M/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_276EDbWJAHT54

That is similar. But this is what I meant it wraps around the teeth to brush all the sides in one stroke. bA1 Sensory - 3 Sided Autism Toothbrush for Special Needs Kids (Soft/Gentle) - Clinically Proven, Fun, Easy - Only 1 Minute https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XFHS5FT/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_bBt2DbYH399YP

I’m only 7 days pp and bedsharing and it’s going great. I don’t know how people sleep otherwise. Anyway I’m only a newbie but I read this book Sweet Sleep by the La Leche League, and it’s a fantastic way to learn all about it.

Thanks! I agree that genetics is a factor. And it's hard to give up night nursing when it's so useful.

Is this the brush? https://www.amazon.com/Brilliant-Child-Toothbrush-Baby-Buddy/dp/B07S74L58T/