Best products from r/BdsmDIY

This has become my default copy-and-paste whenever someone asks about getting started with rope bondage. In this case also look at the last time I saw this question asked, there are plenty of other good answers there. This is a copy-paste to make it easier to keep things up-to-date and not ignore key points, but I'm always happy to provide more information if you have additional questions.

TL;DR: Be safe first. Hands-on classes are the best way to learn to be as safe as possible, but there are several excellent resources available as well.

Looking for local groups on FetLife is one of the best things you can do, especially for something like rope where there is a strong element of risk. In almost any mid-sized city and up there will be a local rope community teaching classes, organizing munches (public social gatherings), skill-shares, and the like. Done wrong you can cause permanent nerve damage or even death. Don't just rush in without learning the basics of how to do it safely. Along those lines Crash Restraint and Remedial Ropes both have excellent resources on how to have a lot of safe fun with rope bondage.

For the basics you can go a long way with some simple single and double-column ties. With a single-column and a half hitch to a bedpost you can easily have a lot of fun. My personal favorite is the Somerville Bowline because it's fast, easy to tie, and it won't cinch tight after being tied unlike many other methods. It's also the first step in making this great wrists behind head tie. Topologist (the guy in the video) was teaching this recently actually and I got to see first-hand how quickly a number of novices picked it up. Easy, fast, built from a few basic, reusable techniques; looks great, lots of utility, and a bunch of fun ways to expand on it (say, going down between the crotch before starting the wraps and tying it off in the front rather than the back so that trying to pull your arms forward serves a dual purpose). Twisted Monk and Two Knotty Boys (who also have several well-respected books) have some very good video tutorials available for free online as well. They get many recommendations, but I find Two Knotty Boys to be a bit too focused on aesthetics and decorative ties.

But you want to get some books instead? The Society of Janus has an excellent book list to get you started with a wide variety of BDSM topics. They cover a lot of the standard recommendations: Midori's The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook, and Lee Harrington's Shibari You Can Use.

What they don't list, however, but I would suggest above those titles is Douglas Kent's Complete Shibari. Start with Volume 1: Land. Suspension is an advanced topic and something that not only requires strong floor skills, but should really be learned hands-on from someone experienced. It's quirky and has some odd choices (I would like far more text personally and his single column tie, though popular and often taught, will cinch under tension), but it has excellent illustrations and does one thing that most other books ignore: it teaches you in a building-block approach where basic ties are shown and then used to create a variety of more complex ones. This shows you how to start developing on your own rather than locking you into just repeating what you've been shown and makes it easier to learn since it's not just rote memorization. It also makes learning new things simpler since you understand the concepts at play and can then focus on how they're combined and the details to making them work well together.

While people usually ask about tying someone the other side is all too often ignored, but equally demanding. The Little Guide to Getting Tied Up by Evie Vane is the only book on the market aimed specifically at rope bottoms and it's filled with useful information. There's a lot of information to be gained as a top in it as well and I can't recommend it enough.

As for rope itself it's never a bad time to learn more about what's out there and why people use it. "Japanese silk" from major sex toy companies is just cheap cotton rope dyed in various colors (avoid black rope when starting, even though it can look great it makes it hard to see knots). Especially buying from Spencer's or most sex shops you'll be overpaying badly for short lengths of cheap rope. My girlfriend (we're both rope tops) has a 200' spool she bought recently from Amazon for about $30 and while it's OK, it's not great. Stretchy, squishy... it holds and feels better than nylon, but that's about it. You could probably buy something cheaper or equivalent at the hardware store. I personally started with nylon and I dislike it quite a bit, but it's another cheap, starter option. In this case though we both moved on to hemp within a few months after having more time and experience with natural fiber rope and realizing that we'd be getting plenty of use out of it.

If you want to get inexpensive rope from the hardware store check that it doesn't have a core made from another fabric. Cotton "clothesline" often has a tough plastic core and should be avoided. Many braided nylon ropes have a thin, wadded layer inside as well. Try to check it out first if possible or look around for "solid nylon braid" rather than just "nylon braid." Twisted nylon will work and won't have a core, but it comes apart too easily and isn't ideal.

I've been happy with the hemp from Karma Rope personally. It's a good, inexpensive option (pay what you want) and their hemp requires minimal finishing. They also sell jute, but I have no personal experience with it. People have stated good things about the jute from MyNawashi however and if you want another inexpensive option they're worth looking into.

You'll be paying roughly twenty cents a foot from either of them and approximately the same price at the hardware store for cotton or nylon rope. I'd say go with an inexpensive natural fiber vendor to start with and skip the cheap beginner rope step.

If you want to pay more Twisted Monk is very popular for finished hemp rope although I'm partial to DeGiotto. Maui Kink, M0co Jute (very popular for jute rope), Douglas Kent Rope (by bondage author Douglas Kent), Jugoya (respected Japanese rope top Arisue Go's shop), Knot Normal... sometimes it seems like a new shop selling good quality bondage rope opens up every day. For these shops you can expect to pay closer to $1/foot or slightly higher, but you'll have very nice, fully conditioned rope.

As for length and thickness a lot of that is going to be personal preference. Topologist has some good advice on rope sizes here. It says just about everything that I would although he recommends a slightly more complete kit. For beginning I'd suggest going with about 3 long ropes and 2 short ropes (roughly half the length of the long ropes). I'm currently using 8m and 4m lengths of 6mm hemp.

Used to do this professionally.

Foam: https://www.thefoamfactory.com/seatcushion/foamtypes.html

You want to use closed cell foam, if possible. Open cell foam can absorb water and fluids(yick).

Temporary Adhesive: 3m77 is the best overall adhesive to prevent movement. It is NOT a permanent adhesive. https://www.amazon.com/3M-77-Multipurpose-Adhesive-Aerosol/dp/B0000AZ735/ref=sr_1_3

Permanent adhesive: Barge cement or weldwood. Both are equally good. Many brands advertise different names, but it's repackaged barge or weldwood (you can get a 55 gal drum). It tends to be more rigid so its only suitable for adhesing to a solid base, like foam to wood or foam to metal. https://www.amazon.com/00271-Weldwood-Original-Contact-Cement/dp/B0006MXRY8/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_200_lp_t_3

Upholstery leather: While Tandy is the cheapest source, they generally sell second quality hides that are factory overruns or seconds. A better source is either the Carroll Leather company or the Hide House. Both are excellent. You want a fully protected corrected grain hide in the 3-4 oz range. The hide should be a full hide, not half, which is approximately 55 sqft. Both companies will sell you a single hide. Estimate about $8 sqft, including shipping. My preference is the Carroll Leather company because they have a better online catalog, but both companies will send you samples if you ask nicely. Both are excellent reputable companies. http://www.carrollleather.com/colours

and https://hidehouse.com/products/index.html?Category=FETI

Also, if you plan to stuff any enclosed leather items, like pillows, you will need spray silicone to ease the stuffing. http://www.upholsterysupplyonline.com/products/Pro-Slip-Dry-Silicone-Spray-Case-Of-12.html

You might need some upholstery tacks and a tack hammer. https://www.vandykes.com/upholstery-tacks-nails-tools/c/1696/

Alternatively a good staple gun works well. Do not use the electric ones. They're expensive and usually don't work as well as the manual ones https://www.amazon.com/Arrow-Fastener-T50-Heavy-Staple/dp/B00002ND61/ref=sr_1_4

For random hardware, try https://ohiotravelbag.com/ and https://www.buckleguy.com/The company behind buckleguy makes the hardware for Coach bags, so it is usually superior quality.

If you sew anything, use polyester thread, NOT nylon. Nylon absorbs water, and breaks down under exposure to UV. Polyester is what the boat upholstery guys use because it stands up over time.

Pro tip: expect to use twice as much leather as you think. It takes a lot of experience to correctly judge upholstery dimensions and usage. Also, pull the leather tighter than you think. Go slow, measure twice, cut once, and realize that leather stretches in two directions.

Edit: Marine vinyl is a good substitution for leather. It's non porous, and easily cleaned. Fabric is measured by the yard, which means the width of the roll (usually 54") x 1 yard long. Quality vinyl is ~$10-$20 per yard, which is about 1/4 the cost of quality leather. https://www.joann.com/marine-vinyl/prd23669.html or https://fabricwarehouse.com/discount-marine-vinyl-fabrics/

Cool project idea, and definitely a lot of room for learning here. I’ll try to give you some ideas on how I’d do it, but keep in mind that I’m not an expert and doing wiring on anything that connects to a person can be dangerous, so this is very much an at your own risk situation.

Instead of starting with the UI, I’d start by figuring out how to connect the device to a computer and the computer to the internet, then you can build a UI on top.

Instead of a RaspberryPi I’d look into an ‘esp8266’ which is basically an arduino with WiFi. You can get one here https://www.amazon.com/dp/B010N1SPRK I like these because they’re cheap, easy to connect to the internet (WiFi!) and relatively simple.

To connect that to the device, you’ll probably want to open it up and find where the buttons connect to the circuit board and solder on wires (each button should have 2 connections, and so each will be 2 wires). Run the two wires from the button to a relay - like https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BDJ8T4G

A relay is basically a switch that can be controlled electrically. In this case, you connect the ground on the relay to ground, the power to one of the pins on the 8266, and the two outputs to the wires from one switch (order doesn’t matter). Then when the 8266 sends power to that pin it will tell the relay to push the button.

You can power the 8266 from any USB, but note that if you’re going to use a USB adapter that plugs into the wall instead of a battery bank you need to use a good quality one (like an apple branded iPad charger) because cheap ones can be unsafe, and you’re going to have a lot of wiring in close proximity to stuff you’re connecting to your body.

I’d use the ‘arest’ library on your 8266 to make things easy - there’s directions here https://openhomeautomation.net/control-relay-anywhere-esp8266 note that you don’t need to pay for their cloud thing, but it might make it easier. If you don’t want to, you can get a ‘dynamic dns’ service and forward a port on the router to the 8266. You’ll probably want some extra code to make the relay turn off shortly after it turns on so it presses the button instead of holding it down.

If I was going to do this, here’s how I’d approach it:

1. if you’ve never soldered, get a decent quality soldering iron, some thin rosin core solder, and a couple learn to solder kits to practice on. You don’t need to be a master, but you’ll want to be able to make a learn to solder kit work before moving on to stuff you design yourself.
   
   
2. get the micro controller, figure out how to connect it to your computer, get the drivers and arduino IDE installed. Get to the point where it can blink an LED.
   
   
3. install ‘arest’, get it setup. Use the example code in the link, get it connected to your WiFi, get to the point you can turn an LED on and off by pasting a link in your browser using local up address.
   
   
4. get the relays wired up. Connect an LED on one of the relays, turn that on and off using the same code as in step 3
   
   
5. extend the code so it’s aware of all the pins you want to use to control relays, and any time it turns a pin on it turns it back off after a short delay (250 ms?). Verify this works with Leds
   
   
6. open the device you want to control, attach the wires to the button connections. Turn it on and make sure that touching the two wires for a button together ‘presses’ the button.
   
   
7. connect the button wires to the relays, test!
   
   
8. figure out network setup for out of home control (static ips, dynamic dns, port forwards)
   
   
9. make some kind of UI
   
   
   Hope this helps get you started. If (when) you get stuck I’d be happy to help if I can!
   

Tandy Leather is the chain store here in the US that will have everything you need to get started. Their tools are lower end compared to some other sources, but watching ebay and craigslist in your area may score you a good set of tools for cheap. I got my main tool kit from an ebay listing. I have added from Tandy and others over the years. Be sure to watch Tandy's sales - they are the time to buy from that source. Also check your local area for a leatherworking shop. Local shops often have better tools, better leather, and better advice that the chain does. As for the pervertables angle, I would recommend The Better Built Bondage Book and r/leatherwork/. Ohio Travel Bag and Ebay are good sources for hardware.

Good Luck.

Very simply: Use the posts for modular wire shelving. The legs can screw together, each is 14 inches long.

These shelving systems are sold everywhere under many different names with the same basic design. Smaller shelves have legs that are 3/4" in diameter with 1/4" screws. Larger ones are available with 1" diameter posts and 1/2" screws connecting them. Different post lengths are available but 14" is the sweet spot for a spreader bar.

The cheapest option I found was the "Whitmor Supreme Stacking Shelf Organizer" on Amazon. This has 4x 14" posts that are 3/4" in diameter for $12.65+shipping: https://www.amazon.com/Whitmor-Supreme-Stacking-Shelf-Organizer/dp/B0007MHD2E/

You can also buy just a set of the 1" posts here: https://www.shelving.com/SI-Chrome-Round-Post-Sets-p/si-pc-set-p.htm (Note that I haven't bought from there, I just googled it when looking for the cheapest option).

There are also tons more options that are basically the same overall design. I'm not trying to endorse any vendor (I'm not affiliated with any of them), just pointing out that these very common posts are perfect for turning into a spreader bar.

A pack of two 1/4" 20 threads per inch (TPI) 2 1/2" long eye bolts are available from Home Depot for $1.18 and they fit the Whitmor posts perfectly. You can easily screw them in by hand at the ends and in less than a minute you have a spreader bar with no tools necessary.

I bought two sets of two eye bolts, so I could use one post as a wrist bar, and the remaining three legs combine to form a 42" leg spreader bar as pictured.

The best part of this is that you can unscrew the legs again, collapsing the bar for storage to a length of only about 15" (with the end eye bolts in). This means that instead of having an awkward 3+ foot bar in my closet I can easily throw the set of 15" posts in a large desk drawer (though they are still long enough I have to put them in at an angle to make them fit).

One concern at first glance might be: "Wait, if the posts screw together so easily couldn't someone just easily unscrew them and get out of the spreader?" Answer: No. Maybe this is obvious to people who are not me, but it doesn't work this way provided you are attached to both the screw and what it is attached to. Take any two things that are screwed together. Then try to unscrew one from the other, never taking your hand off of either one. Go ahead and try. You can't do it. You'll end up trying to wrap your arms into a pretzel. Despite how easily it screws together, it's secure.

Yeah, that is what it is :) https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B000BDD83M/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 Had my girlfriend sew a piece of fabric together to make the fit a bit tighter. It's removable so makes it easy to clean. As for the wand, I have it plugged into this timer( https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B0184CG9K0/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 ) so that I can have it turn on and then off for a little bit... over and over again. She found the magic wand a bit too strong so I also added an inline fan speed controler to lower the speed a bit ( https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B01MXQG4UZ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 )

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Makeup brushes are typically softer than paint brushes out of the package. I'd like to recommend this awesome makeup brush set that's super low cost. Bonus, whatever you don't find she responds well to for BDSM purposes she can add to her makeup collection.

Those aren't bad, but they look a lot like the gate hardware from Lowes I'm referring to.

I'm looking for something that looks like it belongs on the indoor / decorative side, like the oil rubbed bronze or the satin finished nickel, etc.

But isn't going to snap in half.

I found these tonight, and wonder if wrought iron is strong enough for the job...

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019563JDY/ref=psdc_511260_t3_B01LK6YXI2

[This](VViViD Marine Waterproof Vinyl Fabric Choose Your Color Sold by the Yard (5-color Sample Pack) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LDGO8P2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_gpzlzbS6KAPEV) is what I'm talking about. So possibly the same thing. Faux leather is usually vinyl in this case, but buying marine grade is a good choice because it's thicker, and waterproof. You still have to be careful with silicone lube, but it works well for any thing else. We had some massage tables that we had to redo because of normal wear and tear, and they have been great.

A couple mannequin hands and feet mounted to the wall would look pretty great. As if you were only seeing one side of a set of stocks.

Male Mannequin Hand Display Jewelry Bracelet ring glove Stand holder black https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NI4DF70/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_4..OBbBAV17QC

Rain's PanPair of Hard Plastic Flat Arched Feet Mannequin Dummy Model 6.9"8.9" (black) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01HXKIATC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_5baPBbFN6CP2H


I like these black ones. They look like latex gloves it's not too odd that they don't look like realistic hands.

Just an idea, maybe that's not the look you're going for.

I'd make sure to put a fast blow fuse right at the battery. JUST in case. Don't want lithium battery to accidentally go into thermal runaway due to a short. 500 mAh battery is almost certainly too small to last very long. Get a 2s 2000-2500mAh, something like this which says it has a protection PCB, which will prevent you from running it down too far and damaging the battery. Might make it 2 in parallel, if there's room in the pack. Use a simple buck board to take it down to 5v, and another one to take it up to 9v (for the ET-302R) and it should last pretty long.

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Otherwise, in principal, seems good. No need for a BT speaker, unless you don't want the speakers on the pack. Something like https://www.adafruit.com/product/987 and https://www.adafruit.com/product/1669 or https://www.adafruit.com/product/3412 would work great for some OK audio, and makes it better in that it's even more portable. Or just put in In Ear Monitor style headphones.

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For coding it, Python could work for a lot of it, but if you do it in a better language and multi-thread it you could have something that just constantly pulls in the sensor data, something else which actually makes decisions on that data so it stays responsive.

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I think it's doable, just a lot more work on the software and integration than it seems, based on my limited embedded/RPi/Arduino work that I've done.

I don't know any video series, but this is the book series I recommend to new makers:

Fundamentals:

Make Electronics

Useful Companion Reference:

Encyclopedia of Electronic Components Volume 1

Encyclopedia of Electronic Components Volume 2

Bonus Points Reference:

Encyclopedia of Electronic Components Volume 3

Between those books and YouTube you'll be squared away for 99% of anything you would typically build at home. I say that as an engineer with work experience designing electronics.

Here is a product on Amazon... Price:$53.84 & FREE Shipping

https://www.amazon.com/Pipedream-Fetish-Fantasy-Incredible-Stool/dp/B002HRENN4

I think that after purchasing materials and finding the elastic need to span the distance for this project you probably would spend this much in costs. I think that the pride and fun of making it yourself is often outweighed by cost of materials on a lot of projects.


Good luck.

I've been considering something like this for a while using cedar. Please reconsider the screw eyes and use tie-down rails so the tie points are adjustable. The following is an example, powder coated or stainless would be a better option.

https://www.amazon.com/Trekassy-Track-Tie-Down-Trailer-Track/dp/B07M9QVV44

My wife/sub made a collar in crochet, fairly small yarn in a tight pattern. Looks like an ordinary choker in public.

Cuffs would be an option but have to be tightly made and have hardware added. Blindfolds if you add a liner. Perhaps harness/kinky clothing, like a vest with holes for tits. Make the opening small enough and it's a bondage device. Arm binders like https://www.amazon.com/Adavidsource-Y-Shape-Adjustable-Leather-Lockable/dp/B07GXHVLC5/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_121_img_1?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=P32B725MDZ9CTED25NMY perhaps without the locks.

Found [these](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B079T44W6B/ref=ppx_od_dt_b_asin_title_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) on Amazon and ordered a set. They look perfect (if a bit big, but I have other gags to use if I need something smaller). I'll make an update post with how everything goes!