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1. I second the other poster's concerns about you seeking therapy. Remember that your mental health won't really improve unless you are personally invested in your improvement. It's a process, and a slow one at that, with many ups and downs.
   
2. It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed. Most people do. Some leftists say this is by design - that capitalism tires us out to prevent out-of-market social bonds from forming. I don't particularly agree with this perspective (it sounds too NWO conspiracy theory to me) but regardless it is a consequence of the skyrocketing disaggregation of social bonds that comes with rampant neoliberal technology. The late Zygmunt Bauman wrote some wonderful books about this "liquid modernity", as he called it, which can help you make sense of this whole thing:
   
   Liquid Modernity (pdf)
   
   Liquid Love (can't find an easy-access pdf)
   
   I think that reading about these processes may make them intelligible to you, and help you process your worries in a healthy way. This is something you can do without forcing yourself to interact with people.
   
   

3. ...but yeah, eventually you should try to make bonds. Community, solidarity and love are praxis. Probably the most important praxis of all, in my opinion. There's something radical about love, that capitalism can't take away for you and commodify. Though it tries, of course, and will keep on trying, but there's no trading away social bonds. So really, the worst thing you can do is dwell on that isolation. Reach out. There are more people who will relate to your feelings than you think.
   
   Also, and this is a minor point I guess, but you're 17 and hormones are all over the place. It's perfectly normal and part of your development to feel lost. Read books, talk to your therapist, make friends, and you'll be fine.

At least for Anarchists or other left-libertarians it should also be important to actually read up on some basic or even fundamental ethical texts given most political views and arguments are fundamentally rooted in morality (unless you're a orthodox Marxist or Monarchist). I'm sadly not familiar enough with applied ethics to link collections of arguments for specific ethical problems, but it's very important to know what broad system you're using to evaluate what's right or wrong to not contradict yourself.

At least a few very old texts will also be available for free somewhere on the internet like The Anarchist Library.

Some good intro books:

• The Fundamentals of Ethics by Russ Shafer-Landau
  
• The Elements of Moral Philosophy by James and Stuart Rachels
  
• Ethics: A Very Short Introduction by Simon Blackburn
  
  Some foundational texts and contemporary authors of every main view within normative ethics:
  
  
• Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotles for Classic Virtue-Ethics. Martha Nussbaum would be a contemporary left-wing Virtue-Ethicist who has used Marx account of alienation to argue for Global Justice.
  
• Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals by Immanuel (or Emmanuel) Kant for Classic Deontology. Kantianism is a popular system to argue for anti-statism I believe even though Kant himself was a classical liberal. Christine Korsgaard would be an example of a contemporary Kantian.
  
• The Methods of Ethics by Henry Sidgwick for Classic Utilitarianism. People usually recommend Utilitarianism by John Stuart Mill, but most contemporary Ethicists believe his arguments for Utilitarianism suck. 2 other important writers have been R. M. Hare and G. E. Moore with very unique deviations from classic Utilitarianism. A contemporary writer would be Peter Singer. Utilitarianism is sometimes seemingly leading people away from Socialism, but this isn't necessarily the case.
  
• Between Facts and Norms and other works by the contemporary Critical Theorist Jürgen Habermas may be particularly interesting to Neo-Marxists.
  
• A Theory of Justice by John Rawls. I know Rawls is a famous liberal, but his work can still be interpreted to support further left Ideologies. In his later works like Justice as Fairness: A Restatement you can see him tending closer to Democratic Socialism.
  
• Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche for... Nietzsche's very odd type of Egoism. His ethical work was especially influential to Anarchists such as Max Stirner, Emma Goldman or Murray Bookchin and also Accelerationists like Jean Baudrillard.
  
• In case you think moralism and ethics is just bourgeois propaganda maybe read something on subjectivism like Ethics: Inventing Right and Wrong by J. L. Mackie
  
• Or if you want to hear a strong defense of objective morality read Moral Realism: A Defense by Russ Shafer-Landau orc

> How am i saying things are definitive. I have on multiple occasions lamented i haven't gone after the actual papers yet.

Let me ask you something: Are academics god-like individuals with unparalleled perspectives from those of all other people on earth? If not, then chances are they are not really all that different from you or me in the sense that they are also products of the sociopolitical environment we live in. Furthermore, since they are invariably products of an institution that is all about certifying people as "knowing" what is best for society as a whole, do you not think they are also prone to overlooking their own, fascistic worldviews for this exact reason?

> Although, really the questions used in the RWA score are so on the nose

Are they? It's not really hard to imagine under what circumstances someone's response to, say, Statement 1 can go from maybe -2 or -3 to a hard 4 - all you need to do is to swap out the institution or authority that someone doesn't like for one they like.

The reason I have brought up "distribution of the sensible" is that what it seeks to point out is a group of people Jacques Ranciere refers to as the "political surplus". That is, if you are the part of "political surplus", your judgment, your moral values and your telling of your own life experience simply do not matter to the society you live in regardless of what they are. You are instead a de-politicalised object that exists only to "move along" in a system that serves to make statistics and metrics that point to no person in specific look good enough for whoever in charge to justify their own position and prestige. (It is also not hard to imagine that Ranciere is a staunch supporter of direct democracy and has written an entire book just to make a case for it.)

Given this picture, a society under "distribution of the sensible" is always authoritarian by necessity. Since, instead of an object, you are a political subject with thoughts and values, the only way to make you "move along" despite your inclination to question what you have been told is the police state - that is, a state founding itself on the operational logic of the police. Should you fail to comply with what you have been told to accept or follow - to "move along" - someone will simply come and shut you up and make you comply with the directions you have been given through whatever means necessary. Sometimes it's state-sanctioned violence, but, more often, it's just a chilling reminder to know your place and not to stick your nose where nothing concerns you (supposedly). This is also why one of the most frequent statements from your local police department is none other than this one:

"Nothing to see here. Move along."

Now, of course, since what you really are is a political animal with thoughts and values, these thoughts and values may very well align with that of the (police) state. If you are part of the "political surplus", however, the question of whether your thoughts and values align with those of the state simply does not matter. You can vote for a political candidate either willingly or begrudgingly, but, at the end of day, only what's written on your ballot counts. You can work your low-paying job either with a headful of resentiment or with an ear-to-ear smile, but, at the end of the day, only whether you have a job at all matters to employment statistics. Under the "distribution of the sensible", your approval of the state's designs and machinations is, for all intents and purposes, irrelevant to its own continued existence, and it is ultimately the "authoritarians" who will have an easier time getting by as the rejects and outsiders of the society they live in.

Do you see now how a systemic critique of society completely eclipses the necessity for trying to measure one's supposed, authoritarian tendencies?

I would recommend reading Declaration (pdf) by Negri & Hardt. It is a pamphlets about activist movements released in support of - or to inspire - the Occupy movement. The authors are sometimes credited for updating the critique of capitalism to the 21st century.
Negri himself is an interesting figure as a public intellectual activist. You could get an impression of him in this documentary.

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Secondly, I would recommend this article on intersectionality by Patrica Collins. Intersectionality is an important concept to understand when dealing with issues of inequality.

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They are not necessarily easy reads, but they're not the hardest either. As a first step, try to get the gist from the introductory and concluding chapters/paragraphs. Then read the rest to go further in depth.

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edit:
A good introductory critique of capitalism is the book Talking to My Daughter by Yannis Varoufakis. He's another interesting figure. You can find various speeches and lectures of his on youtube.

And this overview (pdf) of the various ways populism is defined and expressed is quite an interesting read.

Sure thing! This is what I use (sorry, it's an Australian link but if you look for the Blue Yeti on your Amazon I'm sure they sell it)

https://www.amazon.com.au/Blue-Yeti-USB-Microphone-Platinum/dp/B008F4USMS/ref=asc_df_B008F4USMS/?tag=googleshopmob-22&linkCode=df0&hvadid=341793836828&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12109273243830810845&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1000286&hvtargid=pla-361504899589&psc=1



My mic is better for podcasting (two people facing each other) and surround sound. If you want something more compact but with the same audio quality and just a one-way direction, then the Blue Snowball is also amazing.

I'm not affiliated with Blue or Amazon (I rarely buy anything on Amazon) but I think my Blue Yeti is a high-quality USB mic and I've heard that the lower-priced Snowball is good too.

For one, Zeitgeist was an art piece he did as a social experiment in his mid 20s. Joseph never cared about "conspiracies" at all, if people took 5 seconds to study his work over the past 10 years. He is also an artist at heart.

His AMA: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/6414g3/i_am_peter_joseph_author_of_the_new_human_rights/

--First Book:https://www.amazon.com/Zeitgeist-Movement-Defined-Realizing-Thought/dp/1495303195

"One of the achievements of this book is its ability to find research-based connections between seemingly unrelated social and economic conditions. Without becoming repetitive or dull, each essay is able to shed light on specific issues in a way that is neither too academic nor too informal. Powerful quotes are used at the beginning of chapters, research is clearly footnoted throughout, and the language—albeit at times somewhat technical and term-heavy—does well to give a picture of how one social problem influences the next, and how one scientific advancement could, if accepted and adopted into society properly, change the way all humans interact with the environment that surrounds them." -Review by Kenny Jakubas

--Second Book:https://www.amazon.com/New-Human-Rights-Movement-Reinventing/dp/1942952651

"This book is a fascinating read, and a vitally important one for anyone who is tired of the status quo, seeks to understand why it is so entrenched, and wants to do something about it."New York Journal of Books"

Peter Joseph is one of the great visionaries of our time. If there's a beautiful future―and I think there will be―then his fingerprints will be all over it."―Marianne Williamson, #1 New York Times bestselling author"Since 9/11, security took over and retired human rights into a small closet. We need to get back to the issue of rights for all. Hopefully this important work will draw us closer to that reality and promise. Without economic realignment with nature to secure our habitat, along with conquering the sociological roots of fragmentation and bigotry, the human family is in peril."―Jack Healey,Head of Human Rights Action Center

"One of this generation's greatest visionaries delivers a startling exposé about the violent oppression that defines our economic order, while issuing an urgent call for global activism to unite to change it. Amidst a deepening crisis of capitalism and inequality, coupled with an intensifying assault by the Empire's elite, The New Human Rights Movement provides a crucial roadmap for the movement toward the next system."***–***Abby Martin, host of The Empire Files

--2008 follow up Zeitgeist when he showed his true colors to focus on economics:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EewGMBOB4Gg

--2011 seminal work "Zeitgeist Moving Forward"https://youtu.be/4Z9WVZddH9w

--His Lecture playlist. Brilliant:https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLV9KzChRGz7KEBhw20ZkipLU7BgLoVAxG

You can follow him on Twitter. DO IT!@zeitgeistfilm

Mine focused on my abuse and my dream of getting a college degree (I succeeded, I have a master’s degree now), so Children of the Self-Absorbed by Nina Brown, and On Course by Skip Downing. On Course has so many great self-esteem projects in it, but it’s written for students.

I also like a lot of self-compassion meditations, like these: link . She actually wrote a workbook too that’s on amazon, that might be something to look into if you like her mediations as well: link

For those really stressful feelings that come up while healing, I recommend ACT mediations: link

I’ve also been thinking of picking up a DBT workbook—just to learn more about other self-work projects so that I might be able to weave it into my teaching. You might like to look at it too: link

Thriftbooks also has some options! link

Hope this helps :)