Best products from r/CaregiverSupport

Have you asked anyone else on her care team if they agree with the need for a new chair? I’d say it’s a good idea, but they’re the experts.

What I do know is that the chair height can make a huge difference, especially if the aide helps her in and out of the shower. The higher it is, the easier it will be on your mom’s back and joints to sit down and get up, and that minor change in leverage contributes to an overall better experience. I learned that firsthand after a major spinal surgery, that I tended to take for granted those simple things like standing up on the first try, or getting in and out of bed without doing that maneuver where you just kinda fling yourself upward and twist.

I use a shower mat like this one that has a bunch of small suction cups on the bottom and a soft, almost grass-like texture on top. It stays in place well, but I’d also second the suggestion to get stick-on grip tape. You can get strips, one big sheet, or find some in a fun shape to add whimsy to your mom’s bathtub if you think she might like some fishes or squares or dinosaurs or flowers or whatever. It’s surprising how little it takes to make the average tub into an ice rink, and even a minor slip can be disastrous at an advanced age.

I haven't read this one yet but its on my list.

The Conscious Caregiver: A Mindful Approach to Caring for Your Loved One Without Losing Yourself https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MUEYL0T/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_PanwCbH3G8MS5

While its not about caregiving, I would also recommend

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005BRS8Z6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_8bnwCbV5WCPZM

How old is your mom? Do you think she could be experiencing depression? Speak to her doctor about this possibility. Is her doctor aware of her memory and concentration issues? He may have very simple solutions for her memory and any mood issues she may be having. They could be as simple as a pill.

Also ask her doctor about an adult daycare in your area, or even a home health aid. Look into groups or clubs that she might be interested in getting involved with. (Find a craft group through your local craft store, for instance.) Ask her to teach you to knit! Teaching you may bring back her ability to do it herself, even if she can only do simple stitches or small items.


Another thing that comes to mind is a bone density test. Do you know if she's had one recently? That may shed some light on exact reasons for her pain, and change her doctor's treatment plan.

See what google has to say about social gatherings for senior adults where you live. Can you have people in to visit with your mom? Would she be just as comfortable in an easy chair or recliner with the heating pad on her back? At least then she'd be sitting up and more able to interact with the world. Would she enjoy just sitting outside for a little while? Would she enjoy a jigsaw puzzle? Reading? Board or card games? You just have to keep trying different things to keep her mind active. My mom benefits a lot from this clock: https://www.amazon.com/Clear-Clock-Calendar-Optional-Impaired/dp/B015M3DYNO/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1YLNKAKZTWYSG&keywords=digital+calendar+day+clock&qid=1558085838&s=gateway&sprefix=digital+calendar+%2Caps%2C185&sr=8-3

Hope I've hit on something that helps. Best to you and your mom!

First of all wanted to say what a great gesture, even little things that I could use for myself were SO appreciated when I was taking care of my mom (as you probably well know), so I’m sure she’ll love it! The words fiction, writing and Japanese stood out to me, and made me think of a great book I read a while back called A Tale for the Time Being, it’s a story told from two perspectives, one a 16 year old Japanese girl and the other a writer living on an island in the Pacific Northwest who finds her diary washed up on shore. Sounds like something that might be up her alley so thought I’d pass it along

This is very common with caregivers. We merge with the loved one's illness, become invisible to outsiders and occasionally get the "thoughts and prayers" line.

First, I do recommend a Caregiver Support group; a real one not an online thing. They are for family and friends. There you will find others in your situation and find out what resources are available. They usually meet once a month.

Second, you may have to "force" others to get involved. Sorry, not sorry. You may have to ask them to forgo "thoughts and prayers" and come over for a few hours and take over, shop or mow the lawn. You can't do it all. Also pass on keeping people "updated". This gets tiresome.

Third, I recommend reading Cruising Through Caregiving.

I don’t know of any products with wetness indicators. What I buy for my mom is pull-ups with booster pads, so she can change the pad without having to replace the pull-up every time.

It took me a while to figure it out but my mom wasn’t changing hers often enough because of cost so this was a good compromise.

This is the pull-up she uses: pull up

Booster pad: pads

Good luck something that works for her!

/u/whomst_is mentioned a shower chair. We got this one and like it:

Medical Tool-free Spa Bathtub Shower Lift Chair, Portable Bath Seat, Adjustable Shower Bench, White Bathtub Lift Chair with Arms

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06Y5Z47HK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_IZzZDSfDYqKVe