Best products from r/ComedyCemetery

I have family of my own in medicine and forensics and they will confide that race is a reality, though the Zeitgeist of our age wishes much that it wasn't so.

Perhaps this admittedly-spammy trove of evidence will convince you...

BOATLOAD OF LINKS CONCERNING VERACITY OF RACE CONCEPT ALERT 🔔:

Genetic analysis “supports the traditional racial groups classification.” Source: http://psychology.uwo.ca/faculty/rushtonpdfs/PPPL1.pdf
“Human genetic variation is geographically structured” and corresponds with race. Source: http://www.nature.com/ng/journal/v36/n11s/full/ng1435.html
Race can be determined via genetics with certainty for >99.8% of individuals. Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15625622
Oral bacteria can be used to determine race. Source: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-10-oral-bacteria-fingerprint-mouth.html
Race can be determined via brain scans. Source: http://www.cell.com/current-biology/abstract/S0960-9822%2815%2900671-5
96-97% of Whites have no African ancestry. Source: http://www.theroot.com/articles/history/2013/02/how_mixed_are_african_americans.3.html
97% of Whites have no Black ancestry whatsoever. Source: http://www.unz.com/isteve/nyt-white-Black-a-murky-distinction-grows-still-murkier/
There was minimal gene flow between archaic Europeans and Asians. Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/20/science/20adapt.html
Common-sense racial categories have biological meaning. Source: http://www.ln.edu.hk/philoso/staff/sesardic/Race2.pdf
A substantial amount of the human genome has been subjected to natural selection since the races diverged. Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1317879/
With 160 short gene sequences, race can be determined with 100% accuracy for Whites, Asians, and Africans. Source: http://www.cell.com/ajhg/abstract/S0002-9297%2807%2960574-6
Principal continent of origin (race) can be determined with 87% accuracy even for highly mixed populations. Source: http://www.cell.com/ajhg/abstract/S0002-9297%2807%2960574-6
“It is inaccurate to state that race is biologically meaningless.” Source: http://www.nature.com/ng/journal/v36/n11s/full/ng1435.html
Race is biologically real and represents “genetic clusters” of variation. Source: http://stx.sagepub.com/content/30/2/67.abstract
“Empirical structure within human genetic variation … resembles continentally based racial classifications”. Source: http://stx.sagepub.com/content/30/2/67.abstract
“Recent research in genetics demonstrates that certain racial, and also ethnic, categories have a biological basis in statistically discernible clusters of alleles.” Source: http://stx.sagepub.com/content/30/2/67.abstract
“Numerous human population genetic studies have come to the identical conclusion that genetic differentiation is greatest when defined on a continental basis.” Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC139378/
Genetic analysis of race corresponds with self-identification more than 99% of the time. Source: http://stx.sagepub.com/content/30/2/67.abstract
Races are human subspecies. Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19695787
The “social constructionist account of race lacks biological reality”. Source: http://stx.sagepub.com/content/30/2/67.abstract
Race can be determined from fingerprints. Source: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajpa.22869/full
For 99.86% of individuals, genetic analysis of race matches self-identification. Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1196372/
Predefined ethnic/racial labels are “highly informative” about genetic identity. Source: https://web.stanford.edu/group/rosenberglab/papers/popstruct.pdf
Over 2000 genes have been subject to recent (post out-of-Africa) evolution. Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/20/science/20adapt.html
The concept of race existed in ancient Greece, Rome, Egypt, China, India, and Arabia. Source: http://www.amazon.com/Race-The-Reality-Human-Differences/dp/0813340861
Racial classification has genetic significance. Source: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/bies.10315/abstract
Racial identity is real and is hidden in correlations between different traits. Source: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/bies.10315/abstract
With enough data points, an individual will never be closer related to someone of another race than someone of their own race. Source: http://www.genetics.org/content/176/1/351
An individual’s geographic origin can be determined from their genes “with remarkable accuracy”. Source: http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v368/n6470/abs/368455a0.html

I beg to disagree:

MacBook Pro (MPTU2LL/A):

• 15.6" 2880 x 1800 display
  
  
• i7 quad core 7th gen @ 2.8 GHz (most likely the 7700HQ)
  
  
• Radeon Pro 555 2 GB GDDR5
  
  
• 16 GB RAM LPDDR3 @ 2133 MHz
  
  
• 256 GB SSD
  
  
• 4 Thunderbolt/USB-C ports (including the charging port)
  
  
• $2,188.00 (currently on sale, normal price is $2,399.00)
  
  vs
  
  Asus VivoBook (M580VD-EB76):
  
  
• 15.6" 1920 x 1080 display
  
  
• i7-7700HQ quad core @ 2.8 GHz
  
  
• GeForce GTX 1050 4GB GDDR5
  
  
• 16 GB RAM DDR4 @ 2400 MHz (only speed admitted by the i7 7700 HQ on DDR4)
  
  
• 256 GB M.2 SSD + 1 TB HDD @ 5400 RPM
  
  
• SD card reader + 2 USB 2.0 Type A ports + 1 USB 3.1 Type A port + 1 USB 3.1 Type C port + HDMI port + RJ45 port + charging port
  
  
• $936.00 (currently on sale, normal price is $1,049.00)
  
  Clearly the Asus is equal or superior in almost all regards, has a metallic body just like the MacBook, and costs less half the money. Yes, it doesn't have macOS, but to be fully honest, you might as well install ElementaryOS and it has a pretty pleasant, Apple-like aesthetic, or just make it a Hackintosh. I don't think it's worth it, at all.

https://www.amazon.com/Jokes-Minecrafters-Booby-Traps-Boo-Boos/product-reviews/151070633X/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_show_all_btm?ie=UTF8&reviewerType=all_reviews

these Amazon reviews are a good laugh though

I wasn't going to respond but I saw you were the person who really wished there was good, informed work on men's issues so I thought I'd try again.

If you change your mind about professional scholarship, R W Connell literally wrote the book on masculinity and you can get it on amazon for not a ridiculous amount of money.

Dude, you literally said

> Such a disgrace and such an insult to common logic and reason. There is a book called how to win an argument, it has passages from the great roman senator Cicero. Here's a link to it: https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Argument-Ancient-Persuasion-ebook/dp/B01EBEIKX4 Hopefully you can find it useful.

You are like Douche Prime walking into a serious discussion and calling everyone fags for having respect for life. You have no idea how dumb you look right now telling everyone to read a book, and you will cringe so hard in a few years that I hope you never see these comments you made ever again, for the sake of your sanity. You say that someone can't not enjoy a joke if they don't personally raid North Korea and take away their nukes by hand?

> If you care so much about a petty little picture taking aim at "atrocities" do something about it instead of voicing your opinion at something that is in r/ComedyCementarty It's really mundane and pathetic to come to a place that clearly states this is the junkyard of comedy and give your worthless opinion about countless lives lost.

What do you want them to do? Sign a petition? Call their governor? We're all equally helpless in this mess. There's nothing we can do short of marching on Washington and demanding the Republicans give up their offices. And how well do you think that'll work?

Then you said that somehow this guy is a stand-in for all liberals? Blatant generalization, bud. It's that kind of sophistry that is making people dismiss you here and likely in many other places. Nothing you've said has had any meaning, it's just the kind of surface-level whinging you hear a lot from high schoolers who've just read 1984 and think they're woke. "War is war", "don't get triggered", "I'm just being logical", yawn. Everyone's heard your non-arguments a hundred times and we're done entertaining them. I'm having flashbacks to my freshman year of college and I've only read like three of your comments. Learn to accept that sometimes grown-ups will be too tired to debate every one of your nonsensical points and that that doesn't make you special.

https://www.amazon.com/Jokes-Minecrafters-Booby-Traps-Boo-Boos/dp/151070633X/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=E310TS57XYNA10FAGW9J

found the exact book lmao

Okay I don't know much about gaming headphones but the ones he's wearing look like the noise canceling earmuffs you would wear when mowing a lawn or something

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B06XHBVJKL/ref=mp_s_a_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1503929103&sr=8-8&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=lawn+mower+ear+protection&dpPl=1&dpID=41W-Hzg-xML&ref=plSrch

You know, I'd feel like these jokes would be funnier if the title of the book was "Minecraft Jokes for Autistic Kids".

And I don't mean that in a "ha-ha autism is funny" kind of way, but more as a way to actually frame the jokes in the right perspective, kind of like how horror movies aren't scary when you watch them with a crowd in broad daylight. Personally, I think the jokes are at least tolerable once knowing this.

Of course, I can't imagine many publishers would be okay with that title and the ensuing outrage backlash. I wonder if the book's foreword even mentions this at all?

You can sample more of the jokes at Amazon, some of which are at least a little funnier than the ones sampled here. The reviews are a little depressing, although comically and ironically (perhaps knowingly?), one reads, "I read this book and it gave me autism."

https://www.amazon.com/Jokes-Minecrafters-Booby-Traps-Boo-Boos-ebook/dp/B01AMB3UAS

***
Q: What do you call a cow that eats a bomb?

A: Udder destruction!

Q: What movie do Minecraft players like to watch?

A: The Terminator. (not sure I really get this one other than the fact that stuff blows up)

https://www.amazon.com/Diary-Farting-Creeper-Should-Explode/dp/0692600302

have fun

So, you are a prime example of a person who cannot defend your statement and resorts to insults instead. Such a disgrace and such an insult to common logic and reason. There is a book called how to win an argument, it has passages from the great roman senator Cicero. Here's a link to it: https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Argument-Ancient-Persuasion-ebook/dp/B01EBEIKX4
Hopefully you can find it useful.

Oh my god, [this is actually real.] (https://www.amazon.com/Undertale-Underground-Unofficial-Fiction-Diaries/dp/1520334095)

Well, here's the specific one I use.

https://www.amazon.com/Funny-Desk-Plate-Boss-Gift/dp/B00E3DXN04

https://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Being-Insecure-Relationship-ebook/dp/B00HQNE1RM

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001T9AT52/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_1hSLAbH8JJP38

And whats that? Ugandan Knuckles Hoody

https://www.amazon.com/product-reviews/1510706321/ref=acr_search_see_all?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

THE REVIEWS!!

he makes money off selling merch comprising mainly of text saying "PHRASE Daddy" or "PHRASE Qween".

Oh and he published a couple of books

Well then. I guess I mistook these terrible jokes for other terrible jokes. I'm sorry, I was thinking this was Jokes for Minecrafters: Booby Traps, Bombs, Boo-Boos, and More