Best products from r/ForeverAlone

We found 35 comments on r/ForeverAlone discussing the most recommended products. We ran sentiment analysis on each of these comments to determine how redditors feel about different products. We found 111 products and ranked them based on the amount of positive reactions they received. Here are the top 20.

Top comments mentioning products on r/ForeverAlone:

u/captaincrawdad · 17 pointsr/ForeverAlone

This is an incredibly standard case. I see a lot of people giving you sympathy and talking about their similar situation, but you aren't going to get better until you take a step back and actually analyze the situation.

Do you "love" this girl because she has all of the virtues that you value in a person, or is it because she is the first and only female that has let you have sex with her? Clearly, if there is some random bro that she would rather fuck than you, you were mistaken about something. This is the "Halo Effect." You projected all of your illusions upon her. You've always dreamed of what it's like to have a girlfriend and you simply believed that the first girl who gave you a passing interest was the perfect one. This is not the case.

Now let's be realistic. This girl probably thinks you're a nice guy, easy to talk to, etc. However, she probably finds you mostly unattractive, or at the very least an embarrassment to be seen publicly with. I don't know how you ended up as friends with benefits, but clearly she doesn't see you fit enough for a relationship. She probably knew that she would end up cheating you and devastating you more than she did by breaking it off early.

That being said, you can NOT continue to be friends with this girl. It is impossible. You will only prolong your torture. Delete her number, remove her as a Facebook friend, get rid of any way of contacting her. Once you do that, you'll be free. Once she doesn't make any effort to make amends, you'll realize how little your friendship means to her and HOPEFULLY you'll realize that you were wrong about her the entire time.

Finally, in order to really remedy this situation, you need to get some self respect. Get a sense of life. It seems as if you put your entire self worth, your whole life, and your happiness squarely on the shoulders of another person. Learn to appreciate that YOU are the sole justification for your existence. Learn to be happy with who you are on your own. Love yourself, because if you don't why would anyone else want to love you?

Sure Katherine is a shitty person for leading you on as much as she did, probably fueled by her guilt of your eventual heartbreak and the desire to maintain the outlet for her emotional spewings. HOWEVER, this situation is NOT her fault. It's YOURS for not seeing her for who she truly was. It's YOURS for valuing her as much as you did. It's YOURS for making her the sole key to your own happiness. If you can fully comprehend and accept that, you will feel infinitely better.

My recommendation? Never speak to her again (even if she reaches out to you), partake in your favorite hobbies (or start a new one), and read Atlas Shrugged. It will change your life.

u/wotsthestory · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

Hey there, I don't think you need to worry too much about your sexuality. Adult males have a wide range of testosterone levels, and everyone develops at different rates in puberty. Hell when I was 14 I only had a few pubes - could pretty much count them! I only grew to 5'7" and for many years was a skinny runt with no muscle definition (due to diet and lifestyle). If you're concerned about your build, you can increase your muscle mass with diet and regular weight training (research it first) - I used to have a weight bench in my room, they don't take up much space, and it doesn't take all that long to change your physique.

Random erections are normal if you're not masturbating or having sex regularly, and wet dreams can be pretty random too, I wouldn't worry about that at all. You could experiment with masturbation if you want - but many guys end up having a problem with addiction to masturbation (see /r/NoFap) so maybe it's not worth bothering.

It really doesn't sound like you have a medical issue (such as hypogonadism). It's possible that your testosterone levels are at the lower end of the normal range, but so what. As others here have said, if you are really worried, see a doctor, it's nothing to be embarrassed about and the doc will easily be able to put your mind at ease. (If by some small chance there is an issue, it's pretty easily resolved with testosterone replacement therapy.)

What concerns me more is the way you describe yourself ("worthless piece of shit loser"). Habitual self-talk like this is one of the causes of your apathy (and potentially depression). Learning how to change your mental habits will help you improve your life and gain more confidence (which will increase your chances of a relationship with a nice girl, if that interests you). It's pretty common for people to habitually put themselves down (consciously or automatically), so it's no wonder there's a growing epidemic of depression. Fortunately it's just a matter of developing new mental habits, and CBT is really effective for this. If you don't want to do a CBT course, this is a really good book which helped me eliminate my depression (though the principles apply to all types of negative thought patterns):

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindful-Way-Through-Depression/dp/1593851286

In the bigger picture, sexuality and relationships aren't the be-all and end-all of existence. I've been single and mostly celibate for over a decade, but I had several relationships when I was younger (though was a virgin until my 20s) and I learned first-hand that they don't bring happiness - just a never-ending search for the fictional "one". Stop fretting about sexual stuff, focus on things you enjoy doing, and (really importantly) try and find things to do that involve helping others. Yes I know it sounds lame and goody-goody, but it's truly the most effective way by far to feel more contented and happy with your own life.

Best of luck!

TL;DR: You don't seem that abnormal but see a doc if you're really worried. Sex isn't everything. Be kind to yourself.

u/[deleted] · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

>For one thing, I'm seriously doubting the validity of that statement; for another, there's no need to put yourself down to make others feel better. You're being too nice when you make compliments at your own expense.

Duly noted. :-) Although it really wasn't meant to be a criticism of myself, rather a compliment on how well you use your second language. My opinion of my posts is pretty darn good, though if I were as good a writer as I thought, you would have seen that in my text and there would have been no confusion. ;-)

I haven't spent too long in Germany, maybe 3-4 months. Predominantly in Hamburg and Hannover, though there was a brief spell in the Moselle Valley. What impresses me about your country is its efficiency, its lovely countryside, the people, its ability to win the World Cup... It's partly because I have friends there and it would be nice to live closer to them. Not to mention property is significantly cheaper over there, and I think my overall quality of life might be a bit better. Nothing is certain, and there aren't even any tentative plans, but it's ticking away in the old grey matter.

It's not that I'm determined to win this "Who likes the worst music?" competition, but I legitimately, straight-up love 85% of Eurovision music. Your Pink-like entry this year was fabulous, but my favourites were Iceland, Denmark (proper Eurovision quality: they were robbed!), and the Netherlands, with their Civil Wars-esque duo. I never root for the UK, because we send the most God-awful representatives (but I did like quite like our 2014 turn), and when I eventually get to see the finale live - it's on my bucket list - I think I'll wave a Hungarian flag or similar instead!

Sailor Moon's Welt is honestly scrapping the barrel of art, or, more appropriately, commercial junk. Nonetheless, I think I can "one up" you: I own this. Beat that!

u/jayblackcomedy · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

Then video games and anime are your passion, simple as that. If that doesn't feel like "enough" because you're only consuming these things, rather than creating them, give creation a try. Or use them as jumping off points to see if maybe you can expand your passions.

For instance, if video games are super-interesting, maybe the history of video games would be interesting to you as well. One of my best friends from college, Jeff Ryan, used the Venn Diagram of "Liking Video Games" and "Liking to Write" to get a pretty nice payday to write a book about Super Mario (http://www.amazon.com/Super-Mario-Nintendo-Conquered-America/dp/1591845637).

The point is, if you love something, you can make that thing the center of your life in a constructive way.

NOTE: there's a difference between "love" and "addiction". A lot of people have porn addictions, which puts them in front of the computer, masturbating 4 hours a day. Paul Thomas Anderson loved porn and used it to create "Boogie Nights". I would take a long look at what I was falling into and try to decide if the thing I find myself doing is a distraction from life or a reason for being alive...

u/Monday_FA_Monday · 3 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Please remember I am time restricted on these videos, if I spelled everything out it would be hours and hours. I used these anecdotes because I see them as representative of much larger trends of the people I lived around.

Also, I grew up an hour east of D.C.. There are regional cultural differences to the United States. My experiences may not generalize to the Midwest, the South or other areas of the U.S..

But I'm not the only one who's noticed these patters. Social scientists have also noticed these things. Many people experience an extended adolescence. As I mentioned in the video the description I gave for the middle class has not been an uncommon one for several centuries. Narcissistic traits is more common among young people. This trend isn't new either. Christopher Lasch wrote The Culture of Narcissism originally back in 1979. Before him, back in the 1950's there was The Lonely Crowd.

Nothing I presented in this video is new, and there's plenty of more social science out there all saying the same thing.

>you're a tad judgemental

Every time someone has said this to me it's turned out that I'm judging people accurately and they don't like it.

>That girl in your creative writing class could have just been voicing her edgy views on love out of frustration from a recent relationship

I wouldn't have brought it up if I hadn't seen that pattern continue to play itself out in many other people. Also, as I mentioned in the video, for a long time I didn't want to believe a lot of people thought the way she did. But over my lifetime people kept showing me who they are and I have chosen to believe them. Is everyone like this? No. Are too many people like this? Yes. Too many people grow old but never grow up.

>Those people rushing into marriage might have just been voicing a quiet anxiety, and were conscious that they should only marry someone they were truly committed too.

Those came right out and said what they were doing. All of the marriages either ended in divorce or the people were unhappy years later. When people show you who they are, you should believe them.

>The woman at your work whom you spoke to about having a wife might have been joking, like you were, when she listed all the supposed utilities of marriage.

She was being serious.

>I don't think you should chew gum when you make videos. The sound is kind of gross.

Ok, good to know.

>You mention that "there's more to life than a romance novel". Is there?

Yes there is and artists, religions and philosophers have warned people for centuries about this.

>can you say that people who live their life in pursuit of pleasure/love/affection are living a worse life than you?

There lives are not fully human, so yes I can. We can know them by their fruits: college students are experiencing a mental health crisis. There is an obesity epidemic. One in four women take mental health meds. This just scratches the surface of the malaise.

>You seem to have a really rigid idea of adulthood and maturity

Yeah I expect adults to act like adults. That's not too much to ask.

> like it's your privilege to define what makes someone an adult

When people stop acting like over-sized children and I'll stop calling people out on acting like over-sized children.

>Like some great mental crevice is hopped when your intellectual balls drop and you can then show basic tact and decency.

I do show basic tact and decency my problem is that too many other people don't.

>I'd also like to reiterate that I liked this video overall. You're well spoken, and the content was interesting.

Thank you.

u/PuzzlePirate · 4 pointsr/ForeverAlone

> When I see bizarre, broad generalizations being made about women

When you run into something like this you should always try to think about what the other person's life experience might be that leads them to their beliefs.

For example: Let's say you meet a man, or a teen, who tells you "women don't like sex". A man who thinks this may have a life experience of growing up both unattractive and being surrounded by male friends & family who are also unattractive. In his life experience, as well as those he is close to, women will express little to no sexual desire in front of them. Sometimes women will do this as a self-defense measure against catching the attention of men they are not interested in. Other times this man's life experience will be constrained because he's never been around when women meet attractive men. This can happen because we all live in our own social bubbles and often don't pay much attention to others outside of our bubbles.

An unattractive man who lives his life around other unattractive men may spend his lifetime never seeing the "I want you" look in a woman's eyes. If he never sees that look, weather at himself or those around him, he may not believe it exists.

Back in the days we all lived in small towns you may have an entire town of unattractive men who have never seen women expressing sexual desire. With our more mobile country and social media it's becoming harder to be so sheltered, but it still seems to happen from time to time. I think it probably is more common among teens because they tend to be more self-focused.

>If someone, especially a women, wants to give you a little nudge in a different direction it might actually, maybe be worth considering.

If she's a lesbian who's been in relationships, than sure. But if you've never had the experience of seducing another woman then any advice is dubious at best. Most people lack a good amount of self-awareness so to believe that women know what they want or what they respond to is just incorrect. Even the NYT knows that women don't know themselves:

>All was different with the women. No matter what their self-proclaimed sexual orientation, they showed, on the whole, strong and swift genital arousal when the screen offered men with men, women with women and women with men. They responded objectively much more to the exercising woman than to the strolling man, and their blood flow rose quickly — and markedly, though to a lesser degree than during all the human scenes except the footage of the ambling, strapping man — as they watched the apes. And with the women, especially the straight women, mind and genitals seemed scarcely to belong to the same person. The readings from the plethysmograph and the keypad weren’t in much accord. During shots of lesbian coupling, heterosexual women reported less excitement than their vaginas indicated; watching gay men, they reported a great deal less; and viewing heterosexual intercourse, they reported much more. Among the lesbian volunteers, the two readings converged when women appeared on the screen. But when the films featured only men, the lesbians reported less engagement than the plethysmograph recorded. Whether straight or gay, the women claimed almost no arousal whatsoever while staring at the bonobos.

One woman learned the difference between men & women when she went undercover as man and she wrote a great book about her experience. Here is an interview with her.

u/Tall_for_a_Jockey · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

Write a story about who you are now and who you will be in five years. Then send it to me. Eckhart Tolle slept on park benches for two years and said he was in a state of "ecstasy." Hugh Heffner changed the way we think about sex (think about it...he did. If you are female, he made it easier for you to be sexual, because he made men comfortable with their sexual urges. If you think that sex is gross and is the source of societal ills, you are right...but that ain't Heffner's fault). Anyway, the actual founder of the Playboy empire is reviled by a lot of the world's population. You think he's happy.
Calling something "nonsense" is just a judgment. How familiar are you with Buddhism. This. If you have a smartphone, you can get the audiobook version of this book for free by downloading an ap called "Hoopla."
I have a friend who lives in your city. He told me that you are welcome to hang out with him. Actually, this was his reply. Let me know if you want his contact info.
I'd love to listen to your music. I'd love it more if you'd stop neing so hard on yourself. Obviously, I would like you to consider the options I gave you here. That's what I do...and, yes, I know it's overbearing. My wife calls it "giving people homework." If you decide not to do the things I have siggested, please remind yourself that my plans for you are unrealistic. It's fine if you don't want to read something you probably don't, and meeting strangers is scary (but this guy is a good friend of mine and I can vouch for him). One day you will decide to be happy. Until then, please don't get down on yourself for behaving in ways that might seem dysfunctional, but are completely normal.
Please add me as a friend on your homepage. I'd like to hear about your progress, even if it's just setbacks in the near and present future.

u/ahayron · 2 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Haha I think I’m way too novice to tell you how to meditate. Basically, it’s sitting in a quiet room and focusing on your breath for three to 20 minutes or longer, but it can be different than that — you can focus on ideas or visualizations, you can meditate while walking or commuting, and there are other techniques that will help you as you progress training the mind. At first, sitting in a quiet room and focusing on breathing is kinda hard because your mind will think a million different thoughts that will distract you from focusing on breathing and quieting the mind. A good meditation guide will teach you how to get better at it.

I picked the HeadSpace app because it’s the first meditation app that popped up in the iTunes Store at the time. I wanted to try meditation because I was seeking an inner peace, and I was getting a Matrixy/Westworld/Buddhist Dharma feeling that the world wasn’t quite as real as I previously thought. I stayed with the app because I like the guide’s voice; it’s really soothing. He’s also the cofounder of the app and a former Buddhist monk.

You could also try reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now . It’s a classic new age self help book, and in it Eckhart touches on meditation. The book started coming up in conversations for me after I started meditating, and I listened to it on audiobook and really liked it.

u/superluser · 3 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Here's what I'm doing:

  • Board game night at local game shop
  • Meetups
  • Therapy (probably has made the most difference in my social skills, but the least in my relationships. I expect a big payoff when I finally do start to date, though)

  • Books. I would recommend finding some books on relationships written by credible sources. Find something that has a score of 4 or 5 stars on Amazon, is written by someone with a Ph.D and has more than 30 pages of endnotes. It's probably not written by a looney. If you find a good one, let us know!
  • My book list: Loneliness (about the condition of loneliness, not relationships, but good nonetheless), The 5 Love Languages (not written by an expert, but decent for starting a conversation with someone about a relationship that you are looking to improve), and I'm about to start Marriage, A History, which is about the tradition of marriage and how love matches became the dominant factor in marriage.

    Things that I have tried that do not work:

  • Religious studies groups (be fair, I joined it for casual friendships, and that's what I got out of it)
  • Gym (I don't have the energy to get out to a gym, but I can exercise indoors)
  • Ballroom Dance classes (you'll have fun dancing, but no one will follow you out of the class. I think it's true for other types of dance as well)
u/IMAROBOTLOL · 3 pointsr/ForeverAlone

OP, I definitely know that feel and then some. I would suggest however to keep practicing on girls while you're training. Just like many people did not naturally grow up to be in exceptional physical shape, many people did not naturally grow up to be exceptionally socially competent. However, a person can train to improve in both.

Find books/ebooks/PDFs on how to talk to people, on how to 'be an alpha male', on how to talk to women. Subscribe to /r/seddit, r/askseddit, /r/faimprovement, and maybe /r/socialskills. There's tons of resources on the internet now for people like us.

A side bonus of reading up on seduction and everything is that over time it helps with your general attitude and confidence with people. Whatever confidence you develop in merely talking to attractive people of the opposite gender will carry over into other areas of your life.

So a few key things that have helped me immensely:

u/attofreak · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

I wish you best of luck for your studies, and I am sure you will succeed in gaining better control of the anxiety and negative thoughts plaguing your mind. There are some great books to help you navigate your thoughts on these matters. From my experience, The Conquest of Happiness by Bretrand Russell, and recently Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday helped. The second is perhaps more practical and relevant to our times.

I just find it a bit disturbing that to be girlier one has to be "less serious and intellectual" (unless we are talking about "intellectual = r/iamverysmart"; that is obnoxious, guy or girl). You shouldn't have to distort your perception of yourself to make friends. Being aware of our flaws and vanities is crucial to growing up as a person, but compromising our identity to fit in to stereotypes is not right in anyway. It is insane if a society demands that from us. You do you, make mistakes, fail, learn from them, and you'll find happiness in your naturally evolving identity. Best of luck for 2017!

u/panjialang · 2 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Hi, FA:

So I've lived in China for five years and I recently wrote a book for Chinese students studying abroad in America. As it turns out, many of them are Forever Alone, too.

I was discussing this topic in another thread when someone suggested that my ideas may be helpful to Americans as well. In the book, I break down the American social tango in a way a foreigner can understand, so in other words it is stripped down to a science - something I think Redditors can appreciate.

Right now my book is available for free on Kindle if anyone here is interested in reading the whole thing.

If you are a college student, now you know that there is an entire new world of students from across the ocean that would be more than happy to explore friendship with you.

I'll be here for a few hours (and I'll check back tomorrow) to answer any questions about my flowchart, book, and/or thoughts and experiences. Think of this as an AMA of sorts. I think my flowchart is pretty airtight and I'd like to know what everyone thinks.

u/horribleandstrange · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

It's probably not Asperger's then, just social anxiety, I'm not a doctor, but I would imagine that it's easier to deal with. There's quizzes for that too if you're interested: http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/bin/transfer?req=MTF8MzI3MnwyODI0OTE2fDF8MQ==&refempt=1522891167.2824916.11 Therapy is never a bad idea in these situations, but if you can't for some reason, there are workbooks written by mental health experts that people have had some success with, this one is well reviewed: https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Worry-Workbook-Cognitive-Behavioral/dp/160623918X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522891344&sr=8-1&keywords=social+anxiety+workbook If all that's holding you back is social anxiety, then it's really just a question of working on it, but working on it is going to suck. Good luck.

u/rinwashere · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

I've mentioned them before in my post history, but i can look up the source when i get home if you want more information. The book I'm reading is called Love in Action, and it's a good introduction to mating practices across the globe, including things like coming of age, sex education, mate selection, etc. Highly recommend it if you're interested in sociology or sexology.

The difference i can see is that the "college frat parties" you're talking about only functions for a selected group of people, whereas this lodge system is mandatory as a rite of passage up until marriage.

u/MomentsofEternity · 2 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Well I figure I have to play to my strengths. I'm introverted, good with computers, and have a poor sense of natural rhythm so I figure I won't be able to make much except for weird electronic music with interesting vocal effects, but that's kind of what I'm into as well. I'm no performer. Anything I make would have to be carefully constructed on a computer. It would just be for fun as a therapeutic creative outlet though. So you think it's worth the money to invest in one of those programs if I intend to make the most of it?

I figured I'd start with Reason, a MIDI controller, and a mic. I got a 1st generation version of this a couple of years ago but I still haven't bought Reason yet. I played with the demo for a while but wasn't able to get very far because it doesn't let you save anything and turns itself off after 10 minutes or so.

u/Ankyra · 2 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Laziness/low motivation could be a sign of depression, maybe it might help you to see a counsellor and talk it over, see if it's an issue for you.

I've been reading and working through a book called "Superfoods to boost your mood" by Alexandra Massey and Anita Bean, it's a great little book and it explains the relation between diet and mood and suggests certain eating plans to help make a change for the better. Much of it is common sense (if you eat processed stuff you're going to feel sluggish, fresh fruit and lean meats give you more energy etc.) It's helped pick me up on more than one occasion so it might be worth having a look at.

I do know what you mean though, I often prefer not to go even to family events just because I don't want to bring people down with my lethargy...

u/CaptainAlone · 0 pointsr/ForeverAlone

looks for said suggestions in vain Please feel free to share :-).

Just finished No More Mr. Nice Guy, (about "Nice Guy Syndrome", not becoming a jerk). Currently reading How to Talk to Anybody, and then I think The Game is next on my list.

u/LoveScoutCEO · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

From fiction what about Sherlock Holmes? In the original books he is portrayed as the King of the FAs.

What about examples from real life? Leonardo DaVinci, Nikola Tesla, and George Eastman qualify. Charles XII of Sweden is probably the greatest general most people have never heard of, and despite being handsome, athletic, and a king, he was probably FA.

Winston Churchill was about the geekiest FA on the planet and goes on live a rich fulfilling life. Yes, he eventually marries, but he basically marries his first and only serious girlfriend at almost 34 years old.

To me that qualifies and because you mentioned books I suggest you read Manchester's biography. It is stone cold brilliant: https://www.amazon.com/Last-Lion-Winston-Churchill-1874-1932/dp/0385313489

u/Bukujutsu · 2 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Well, at least you have a lot going for you. You're in a far better position than most people here and have put a lot of work in to get there. Good luck, OP, you'll make it eventually. Just like it took time to get to where you are in other aspects of life, this will take some time and work as well.

If you haven't already and want a recommendation for something to read, I highly recommend this. It may give the wrong impression of being "mainstream" (Yes, the common person has terrible taste and standards.) or, ah, lower quality/shallow, but it's not, it really is filled with bloody brilliant observations and advice: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/007141858X

You could also look into oxytocin therapy or try an anxiolytic (etizolam is still legal and unregulated, very good) to get you over the initial phase. The anti-drug position is complete nonsense, they're valuable tools. "Mind over matter", the mind stems from matter.

u/graffiti81 · 2 pointsr/ForeverAlone

That's why Preseli is right. You have the complete wrong idea about seduction.

>I was a perfect gentleman on the date.

You're doing it wrong. Was there any touching? Any teasing? Did you give her backhanded compliments? Being a gentleman makes her think you aren't interested. An interested guy is polite, but clear on what he wants. Go to r/seduction or read The Game.