(Part 2) Best products from r/GetMotivated

First: Talent is Overrated

Whole book in short: If it were easy, everyone would've done it. Effort and deliberate going-outside-your-comfort-zone practice is what makes the difference. You make a choice: comfortable mediocrity or hard-won skill.

Second: Mindset

This one: You approach each situation with one of two mindsets. The first is the fixed mindset, where you try to prove how great you are. The second is the growth mindset, where you are learning and expanding knowledge, challenging yourself, and have nothing to prove. These ideas are less familiar, so I'll pull some quotes.

>[W]e realized that there were two meanings to ability, not one: a fixed ability that needs to be proven, and a changeable ability that can be developed through learning. That’s how the mindsets were born. I knew instantly which one I had. I realized why I’d always been so concerned about mistakes and failures. And I recognized for the first time that I had a choice. When you enter a mindset, you enter a new world. In one world—the world of fixed traits—success is about proving you’re smart or talented. Validating yourself. In the other—the world of changing qualities—it’s about stretching yourself to learn something new. Developing yourself. In one world, failure is about having a setback. Getting a bad grade. Losing a tournament. Getting fired. Getting rejected. It means you’re not smart or talented. In the other world, failure is about not growing. Not reaching for the things you value. It means you’re not fulfilling your potential. In one world, effort is a bad thing. It, like failure, means you’re not smart or talented. If you were, you wouldn’t need effort. In the other world, effort is what makes you smart or talented.

>I have studied thousands of people from preschoolers on, and it’s
breathtaking how many reject an opportunity to learn. We offered four-year-olds a choice: They could redo an easy jigsaw puzzle or they could try a harder one. Even at this tender age, children with the fixed mindset—the ones who believed in fixed traits—stuck with the safe one. Kids who are born smart “don’t do mistakes,” they told us. Children with the growth mindset—the ones who believed you could get smarter—thought it was a strange choice. Why are you asking me this, lady? Why would anyone want to keep doing the same puzzle over and over? They chose one hard one after another. “I’m dying to figure them out!” exclaimed one little girl. So children with the fixed mindset want to make sure they succeed. Smart people should always succeed. But for children with the growth mindset, success is about stretching themselves. It’s about becoming smarter. One seventh-grade girl summed it up. “I think intelligence is something you have to work for . . . it isn’t just given to you. . . . Most kids, if they’re not sure of an answer, will not raise their hand to answer the question. But what I usually do is raise my hand, because if I’m wrong, then my mistake will be corrected. Or I will raise my hand and say, ‘How would this be solved?’ or ‘I don’t get this. Can you help me?’ Just by doing that I’m increasing my intelligence.”

>We asked people, ranging from grade schoolers to young adults, “When do you feel smart?” The differences were striking. People with the fixed mindset said: “It’s when I don’t make any mistakes.” “When I finish something fast and it’s perfect.” “When something is easy for me, but other people can’t do it.” It’s about being perfect right now. But people with the growth mindset said: “When it’s really hard, and I try really hard, and I can do something I couldn’t do before.” Or “[When] I work on something a long time and I start to figure it out.” For them it’s not about immediate perfection. It’s about learning something over time: confronting a challenge and making progress.

>You can see how the belief that cherished qualities can be developed creates a passion for learning. Why waste time proving over and over how great you are, when you could be getting better? Why hide deficiencies instead of overcoming them? Why look for friends or partners who will just shore up your self-esteem instead of ones who will also challenge you to grow? And why seek out the tried and true, instead of experiences that will stretch you? The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.

There's a pretty good book on this sort of thing.You need to go digging through historical biographies and text to get a more typical view of what life was like back then (I'd start with those I recommended above.. A lot of people, myself included aren't a fan of Churchill's politics, but if you look at him through the lense of his era and keep in mind his differences to you or I... As in we weren't born in a palace as the son of a lord, on a first name basis with all of the richest & most powerful gentry. Getting to hang out in his teens & taken places by the Prince of Wales/the future King, Edward VII (who his mother was probably sleeping with)) its a great read and will give you a decent insight into what life was like for both the gentry & the people who worked for them:

https://www.amazon.com/Last-Lion-Winston-Churchill-1874-1932/dp/0385313489


The book on how great today is:

https://www.amazon.com/Abundance-Future-Better-Than-Think/dp/1451614217

Hi Dark Knight ;)

I have experienced similar situations myself. Here's what I think about your whole predicament :

• It seems you are good at your job considering you got best performer award & on site opportunity. So I don't think you are useless.
  
  
• Also you are working on a startup & already you have got a funding! That's commendable! So you are not nothing.
  
  
• I am assuming you have a package of 3L+ which is a sufficient income for most unless you are a materialistic person who can't do away with ac, gold class seats & branded jeans. Money buys you comfort not happiness.
  
  
• Regarding misbehaving incident, you know you are innocent & your bosses have not thrown you out, so don't worry about it. Specially what others think of you. People have short long memory & with new scandal you will be forgotten quite rapidly. Look at all the politicians, cricketers & filmstars!
  
  
• You can search for new job as well if the work & the work environment is not stimulating. Also try for another state or metro. You will get some distance from your parents, you will get new experience & exposure in new city, new people & culture. It will take your mind of these current issues & you will come out mature & self-reliant.
  
  
• You are confused about further carrier direction as well. Stay in same industry, start your own business or IAS? Practically speaking you should get more experience in one industry first. Simultaneously you can work on IAS preparation or startup (but not both). After few years you will have more experience, options & clarity. On the other hand you have only 1 life & you should not waste your years doing the things you don't love.
  
  
• It's secondary what your parents expect of you or whether you will be able to crack the IAS exam. What's important is what really excites you? What are your values? What is important to you in long term?
  
  
• Your parents want you to be an IAS. So somewhere in their head they know that you have a potential, that you are smart. I dont think they really think you are useless, they probably want you to do more, be more. Ofcourse it's not right of them to pressurise you into any carrier choice, marriage choice etc. You need to sit & clarify this to them in a civilized manner.
  
  
• It's difficult to ascertain whether your gf was intoxicated or not. But unless her friend is really chhapri (cheap), he would not have dared to grope her (knowing she is with you). As you said she had ignored his lewd messages previous, that might have sent him wrong idea. But I hope she had told you about those messages before this incident otherwise it was definitely wrong on her part to hide such important issue from her bf.
  
  
• Trust is important. But none of us are Saints. What is important is to acknowledge your mistakes & not to repeat them. Fool me ones, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me! So meet her, explain your situation like a gentleman but make it clear that henceforth you expect complete & upfront honesty. And from that day onwards, never utter a word about it.
  
  
• Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain & if there are trust issues then it's just a daily frustration, continuous snooping & tons of fights. If you delay the marriage & you are still in different cities, fighting against each other & with parents then it will only be an excruciating mess.
  
  
• When you get cheated on but decide to forgive the other person it often results into a snooping sort of thing. And it's quite natural if you think about it. One fine day, your brain suddenly got the shock of its life & it was painful to say the least. Now he doesn't want to go through similar ordeal again, so he goes into this super cautious mode & tries to verify every data, every odd occurrence. It assigns meaning where there is none & sees a face even in the shadows. Isn't it like getting bitten by a dog! But the good news is that you can curb your anxiety by clarifying this to your brain. Tell him that if she is lying then that would be the end of this relation & he need not worry. If she isn't lying then thats a good thing & he need not worry. Conclusion: Don't worry, be happy & brave. And yes, you are not a psychopath!
  
  
• You are young, you have health, education, job, financial stability, family & a gf. Yes, few of these variables are not perfect but atleast they are there. If you throw your problems in a basket where everyone threw their problems then you would quickly take back yours. Suffering is not the problem, it's a part of life. Suffering without meaning is the issue. Nietzsche said, “He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How.” It's not what happens to you but what you 'think' happed, matters. If so then these problems are rather opportunities in disguise to take hard decisions, to find your meaning of life & to grow further.
  
  
• Tell me, if all your problems are solved within 3 months, will you still like to end your life? That is, if you have a new job, away from the house & probably a new gf, will you still find this life unbearable? What I am trying to say is, you are frustrated not because life in general sucks but because you haven't been able to glimpse at the solutions to your particular problems. Don't run away from the problems, run towards solutions. That's what engineers do, we solve problems!
  
  
• Empty mind is Devils paradise. You need to get busy. Start reading & exercising daily. This will rejuvenate your mind & body. I can't stress enough on exercise. If I skip 2 days, I start feeling low. Don't waste too much time on a gf who may or may not be honest, with whom you may or may not have future. Soulful conversations, jokes, romance is healthy utilization of time. Checking out last seen, fb pics, dress regulation, movement regulation, analysing every word & smilie is equal to eventual self destruction. Decide today to say, 'Fk it. I am above these silly games'. If you love someone set them free, if they come back they are yours but if they don't, they never were.
  
  
• I don't know how reliable online personality tests are. Actually you seemed opposite to narcissistic to me considering you are so concerned about everyone else in your life. In any case, you must get an appointment with a psychologist. This will give you an opportunity to fully open up & share your problems. Doctor can guide you better than us. It's not very costly either. You can expect about 500 to 1000Rs per visit for an average doctor.
  
  
• Finally, let me leave you with this famous couplet. It reminds me to become stronger version of my self everyday. (Note: I am atheist, I refer God mentioned here only in literary sense.)
  
  " ख़ुदी को कर बुलंद इतना कि हर तक़दीर से पहले ।
  
  ख़ुदा बंदे से ख़ुद पूछे बता तेरी रज़ा क्या है ।।" (इक़्बाल)
  
  " Make yourself so strong that before every destiny, God asks you, tell me what you want "
  
   
  
  Check out these books. These are all Amazon India links. But if you can't buy them now, there are free EPUB versions of every book mentioned below :
  
  
• Important life lessons : It's an online article that enlists 100 simple life lessons
  
  
• A man's search for meaning : Account of a survivor of Auschwitz
  
  
• Authentic Happiness : Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which is often given by psychologist to a depressed individual
  
  
• The mindful way through depression : How mindfulness meditation can be useful against depression, along with CBT
  
  
• The Willpower instinct : How to create habits using willpower, useful to create stronger self control demanded by tough times
  
   
  
  Summery : Don't worry friend, this too shall pass. It always does! Be brave, its a daily choice. Try to focus on solving problems one by one. Get professional help at the earliest. Invest time in things that will help you in long term. Exercise & read everyday. And always remember "All izz welll..!"
  
  

So pretty much focus on your breath thus bringing to you to this exact present moment like when you're reading this? What in this exact moment is missing? Look around you, take in all the objects without labeling them, notice the silent presence they have.

Smile, you're here and now, that's all there is, the past was once in the now, the future like tomorrow? That'll be in the now. So yes, just focus on the present moment and live well my friends :)

(Off topic I recommend these 2 books which you can easily find online)

I didn't see what your exact age in your post so I'm not sure exactly how old you are, but I'm guessing you are around 10 years younger than me and I am 38.

I'm not going to be able to give you any answers unfortunately, because I still don't have any, but tell you about me and hope that maybe it helps you in some way.

I was raised in an almost perfect family. Now, my dad is one of the most stubborn, hard to talk to, and a person that has that old school mentality that men don't talk about the way they feel and they keep it all inside them and just get over it. Also my parents are extremely Christian, not that that is a bad thing, but I think it has kind of shaped me in my life. I'll explain a little more later. My dad is also one of the most absolutely hardest working people I've ever seen. He's retired now but it doesn't matter because he's still up out of bed at 6.30am, 7 am every morning and then he is outside doing some kind of physical labor all day. He is almost working on something, it's amazing. I would kill to have a tenth of work ethic. I just wanted to give you a little back ground information on my life.

I went to high school, never studied, was always highly active in sports, then college, and pretty much the same way. I did the bare minimum to get by all the time in everything I did. I've never had any passion for any kind of career, still don't. That has led to me never having any kind of job I enjoy.

When I was in college I was like most college age kids and partied(is that how you spell that?} on weekends. I always liked to have fun first before responsibilities. I'm a huge procrastinater, and always have been. Also, even though, I was a party person, I was always socially awkward and shy which led to very few relationships of any kind. I have a very small number of close, and have been in only a couple of romantic relationships in my life that always ended in me being dumped. So I have always had very low self esteem. Alright so I graduated college, moved away to a city a couple of hours from where I grew up and started working at a decent paying job. It was an easy job with decent pay. Did I like it? Of course not. Since I knew no one in the city I started drinking a lot. My weekend party habit turned into a daily drinking habit. The little bit of social life I had turned into none. You combine all this together and remember how I was raised led to a ton of guilt and lowered self esteem even more.

That led to even more substance abuse. So much so I thought I was having a heart attack at one point and called 911. It turned out to be a severe panic attack. I don't know changed in that part of my life but I think it was a combination of everything. My few friends were all getting married by this point. I developed severe anxiety and depression. This was probably around 25 or 26 years old. So the doctor prescribed me with anti-depressants of course, never mentioned therapy, and then my anxiety started to stabilize, and depression eased up a bit and allowed me to continue with my life. However, I never changed my lifestyle. So I continued to use drugs and alcohol.

A couple of years later, I was 28, the company I worked for was bought out and I was laid off. Combine that with substance abuse, a lack of friends, lack of hobbies, no motivation, and 0 dating and its not good.

Unfortunately I just got a phone call and have to step out so I will be back in a few to finish my story. In the meantime watch this and bookmark this guy's YouTube channel....

https://youtu.be/8g0dNjHz2_I

Ok finally back..... I know this is gotten long so I will try and hurry. It's good for me to write it though, and if it is even a small chance it could help you or someone else it's worth it to me.

So anyways, I was laid off about 10 and a half years ago. I had to move back home with my family because my lifestyle didn't lead to any kind of savings the way I was living. During the last 10 years I can't count the number of meaningless, low paying jobs I have had despite having a degree and experience in the IT field. The IT field, I received my degree in Management Information Systems, is one of those fields you have to constantly continue learning and I never did that. Because like I said before, I didn't have any type of passion about it, I just knew I kinda liked computers so that is what I decided on after changing my major two previous time. So I lack the skills necessary to get a job especially now. 10 years of not working in the IT field and everything has completely changed. However, I'm still paying back that massive student load bill but that's a whole other topic. I have a job now and I scrape by barely but it's pretty miserable. I'm still battling addiction. It is getting better because I finally decided to make some changes. Now it is very, very slowly getting better but any step in that direction is better than going the other way. One of the reasons I started making some changes is because of the guy I posted in the link above. He is psychology professor and one of the smartest human beings on the planet IMO. Now there will probably be people who reply to this and bring politics into because Jordan Peterson became a well known name after his stance on the Canadian Government trying to pass a law that basically says you have to call transgender people by the pronoun of their choice and they are just a bunch of made up words basically. It's nonsense. Peterson doesn't have a problem with transgender people only the fact that the government is trying to interfere in basically the English language and making laws about it. So if anyone brings any of that up just ignore that political crap.

He has tons of videos on depression, suicide, motivation, just basically anything to do with ways to help you improve your life. The one that truly made me make the decision to start making changes is one in which he talks about 5 factors that ultimately lead to depression and/or suicide. These include.... substance abuse, lack of social circle, lack of intimate relationships, no job/structure/goal, and additional health problems. He says that in his experience in in working with people with depression is that if you suffer from 3 of those problems it is nearly impossible to overcome. I have 4. I do have a job, but it's a meaningless job and the only structure I have is going to work and back home to lay on the couch or go to bed. So you can see I have 4 out of 5. I don't have any additional health problems....YET.

So you can see how when, what I consider to be, one of the smartest men in the world say something like that it's horrifying. Because I could always lie to myself and say that I would start changing later. I will post the link to that video as well.

My whole point in this is to say that I am closing in on 40 and I am in a worse situation than you. There is a very good chance I will never recover from this and it's going to end badly somehow, someway, with that either being dead, homeless, or in prison. So I believe that has shaken me enough to tell myself to at least try. I've started making daily goals to accomplish. It might something as simple as coming home from work and going walking, doing the dishes, and studyiing/reading. I probably won't do 95% of them most of the time but it's a step forward even if it's just 5% of the time. I have signed up for one of the thousands of online courses in computer programming I've always thought computer science was interesting. Now I'm not passionate about it but I'm working on that. I'm getting help for substance abuse and going to meetings/therapy and it's getting better. But I still have a long, long way to go and I may be in my 50's even if it does finally work out.

So what I'm saying to you is..... don't do what I have done. Change things now, not tomorrow, but right now. Do not tell yourself you will do it tomorrow. Even if it is going and cleaning your room and doing situps after you read this....anything. You still have some time to correct things and have a productive life and a family if you want it. More than likely I will never have my own family and that is extremely difficult to think about. If you were anything like me you probably used to think about getting married someday and starting a family and there is a very very good chance I will never have that now. There's a really good chance that I won't make it and be dead by the time I'm 50.

So that has motivated me enough for now to at least try for now. Time will only tell what ultimate happens as it is for everybody. You said you didn't suffer from depression so that means you have an excellent opportunity to make a change and take a different path. Good luck! I don't know anything about anything but if you ever need to talk to someone, send me a message. I would be happy to try and help even if it's just by listening. That goes for any other single person that reads this. We can do this!

I just noticed I actually posted a movie link I was watching at the time lol sorry...I corrected it lol
This is the link to the video I mentioned earlier and what I mentioned earlier about the 5 things starts about 2 and half minutes in.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c9Uu5eILZ8&t=326s
This is another one of just a ton of excellent videos..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XICqcAac9jg&t=598s

Buy his book and read it as well..... https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/0345816021/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1541126808&sr=1-2&keywords=jordan+peterson+12+rules+for+life

It's a change in perspective that can be so powerful in moving through the tough times. For me personally, I like to jump in to books, get a push towards that new perspective, read about people's philosophies on life, obstacles, etc. Two books that have been great reads that I go back to over and over are:

The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph - https://www.amazon.com/Obstacle-Way-Timeless-Turning-Triumph/dp/1591846358

10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works--A True Story - https://www.amazon.com/10-Happier-Self-Help-Actually-Works/dp/0062265423

I know at the time I would never had wanted to hear this, but it rings so true now looking back...you are so young, nothing you have done up to this point has been a mess up, but a vital lesson learned on your way towards being what you are meant to be.

I wish you the best in all the amazing things to come!

Learn what a habit is, how they form and how to create new habits

This book is also good on how to stay focused on the 'one thing' it is that you want to do.

At the end of the day, it comes down to working on whatever it is you're interested in EVERY SINGLE DAY. Even 15 minutes is better than 0. I have new ideas that I come up with all the time, will work on them for a bit then nothing. But if it's an idea that I'm really excited about I will just keep trying to work on it at least once a day. This will most likely mean sacrificing 'fun' and time with friends/family so there has to be a 'WHY' for whatever it is that you're working on.

I've had a lot of ideas that were exciting at first but at the end of the day the WHY wasn't that powerful so they would fall through but this current project I'm working on has the potential to make me insane amounts of money which is a huge 'WHY' and is why I have been not hanging out with anybody and just working on the project every single day. Some days I don't feel like it but I just get started and then the ideas/motivation will usually flow from there. Also, listening to motivational videos when you're feeling lazy or even working on it will help too.

Working while playing videos like thiswill usually light a fire and give me tons of energy to keep making progress. I can recite almost all motivation videos/speeches on youtube at this point haha

Not just a matter of beauty. Physical well-being results in improved mental functions as well!

You don’t have to buy into sports or competitive gym culture to feed your brain some good hormones; there are plenty of enjoyable physical things for intellectual types to do, from hiking and backpacking to dance to traditional martial arts. Or just plain running like Murakami.

22 here and a semester away from finishing a degree in bio engineering. I go in cycles of being extremely motivated to being extremely sedentary, and for a long time this stressed me out like crazy. I used to be obsessed with figuring out how to trigger my motivated-self and how to keep from drifting out of it and it drove me nuts because it seemed like I couldn't do anything to control myself. It wasn't until my third year of college that I decided to simply have faith in myself and stop worrying about it. This marked a pretty incredible change for me. I still went in cycles, but the lows weren't nearly as low or long or miserable and the highs were higher and longer.

You need to stop beating yourself up over not living up to your potential or whatever. You're 17. A slump now is not going to ruin your life.

You know that Chinese proverb, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"? If you like a task is overwhelming, then break it down until you find something you can handle. It doesn't matter if you're deciding you want to become an astronaut or if you want to clean your room. Doesn't matter how silly it might be that a task seems overwhelming, the way you get past that feeling is to break it down. Whenever I don't want to get up and go for a jog I will focus on simply standing up, or shutting my laptop, or putting on shoes. Anything that gets me one step closer towards that jog is 99% of the time all I need before the momentum/motivation gets me running.

By the way, listen to this TEDxTalk by Shawn Achor and if you really like it then get a copy of his book The Happiness Advantage. I'm about halfway through it and I already think everyone should read it.

Hope that helps.

By saying "It's one of the best self-help books out there" you lost me, for you can't have read them all. Neither should you promise anything to gain the confidence of strangers -if you don't rely on it- nor should you hail science as ultimate truth.

Please do not consider this to be bashing, for I'm very grateful for this recommendation.

Amazon:The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It

For example, readers will learn:

• Willpower is a mind-body response, not a virtue. It is a biological function that can be improved through mindfulness, exercise, nutrition, and sleep.
  
• Willpower is not an unlimited resource. Too much self-control can actually be bad for your health.
  
• Temptation and stress hijack the brain's systems of self-control, but the brain can be trained for greater willpower
  
• Guilt and shame over your setbacks lead to giving in again, but self-forgiveness and self-compassion boost self-control.
  
• Giving up control is sometimes the only way to gain self-control.
  
• Willpower failures are contagious—you can catch the desire to overspend or overeat from your friends­­—but you can also catch self-control from the right role models.

Though, honestly, some people will do well their entire lives.

Actually, those born into upper middle class and wealthy families have a higher chance to continue being upper middle class and wealthy by a wide margin. The thing is, it's because their parents teach them to be entitled.

Reading Outliers would do a lot of people a lot of good.

"Patience is a muscle" is a great metaphor, but what you're really doing is rewiring your brain. Your brain is very malleable and it can be retrained via repeated effort.

I highly recommend Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength and The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains if you want to learn more about the science of it.

I don't know if it is so much of a self-development book, but 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos is a really good book that I enjoyed reading. There's a lot of good "self-help" books that aren't labeled as such if you dive deeper into the psychology side of it.

Mind you, the author gets a lot of flak for his other activities in life, but most of it is heavily misplaced.

To embrace the misfortune, bad things or bad people in your life, you need to start looking into yourself, why do you think those things or people are bad for you? What does it teach you about yourself? What can you learn out of this? What does this situation envoce inside you?

You could learn healthy and cheap cooking, reflect why your boss is an asshole and how can you react better when the next asshole will cross your way. Hit the gym, library and voluntaring is a good idea... those things will keep you busy, but real change comes from within... maybe you can look into this book http://www.amazon.com/Art-Happiness-10th-Anniversary-Handbook-ebook/dp/B002UK6NO0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1427675237&sr=8-1&keywords=the+art+of+being+happy

we humans have two first experiences before we are born that we want to experience again later in life. a) warmth and b) growth. This book focus on b). Usually our society (school, work etc.) focus on growth...

Hope this helps somehow?

I mean, he was born with spina bifida and had a pretty depressing time as a kid before trying these sports.
He wasn’t paralyzed from the sport, it just gave him his freedom. His dad wrote a biography about him, and they say “it’s not turning lemons into lemonade. It’s about liking lemons.”
He also has a pretty huge YouTube channel

Yes and no, to those hypothetical scenarios, as hypothetically, everything is possible, impossible, true, and not true, so I'm sorry I ever used an allegory-example. :p
But you've clearly misunderstood everything I've said (which is probably my fault); especially that part about a goal; there really is no goal. Though, a point of life-retirement usually comes naturally with older age and/or much experience, and so a dying passion for life; unless one is severely unhappy, though I, of course, can't speak for everyone. How could one truly be uninterested in life without experiencing much of it? Let me put some more emphasis on the word truly.

Again, the word "success" is very subjective; I guess my definition of "success" is synonymous with "happiness", which is a means, not a goal; goals are illusions. Studies have shown that when we're happy, we naturally expand ourselves, and so those around us who's willing. If we're not, then we won't, and create a (illusory) comfort zone and (illusory) ego.

PLEASE just check out some basic Neuroplasticity and at least a synopsis of the book "The Happiness Advantage", and re-read my posts. :)

Book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-Advantage-Principles-Performance/dp/0307591549
Neuroplasticity: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroplasticity
Relevant article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/use-your-mind-change-your-brain/201305/is-your-brain-meditation

For more in-depth stuff, a great book about habits.

Excellent read for one and it helped me quit smoking (more than the drugs even). It's amazing how much power habits have, positive AND negative.

I just bought the book on Amazon. Happy to support such an amazingly strong person!

Sounds like you're going through a bout of entrepreneurial depression. It happens to the best of us! First, accept that what you're going through is totally normal. Second, know that it's difficult to do anything when you're in the "dip". Here are some reads / videos I've found helpful when I'm down ...

Seth Godin - The Dip http://www.amazon.com/Dip-Little-Book-Teaches-Stick/dp/1591841666

Ted Talk about happiness & entrepreneurship - www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrUw4S76jFQ

The Not Knowing Path of Being an Entrepreneur http://zenhabits.net/unknowing/ (This whole website is gold)

It's a bio-trilogy called The Last Lion.

I'm still only on the first book but it is fantastically written, incredibly informative, and a joy to read.

They are not a quick read however; the one I'm reading now is over 800 pages, but I can't put it down. Right now I'm reading about Churchill as a 21 year-old youth serving in the Victorian army as a second lieutenant.

Really highly recommended.

This is a very apt illustration of how the creative process works, IMO...however, there is a lot to be said for knowing when aspects of your persistence should be ditched in favor of concentrating on other parts of your project...Seth Godin wrote a neat little book on this idea, called The Dip. Worth a read/listen.

BOOK:

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY

https://www.amazon.com/Get-Out-Your-Own-Self-Defeating/dp/0399519904

This book is awesome.

VIDEO:

Ted Talk: The Power of Vulnerability

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en#t-963881

This video is awesome.

For those with further interest in idea #1 read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
Nothing has fundamentally changed my life like that book, and I can safely say I've never felt better

If you need a little boost getting goals accomplished, I recommend: "The Five Minute Journal"

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https://www.amazon.com/Five-Minute-Journal-Happier-Minutes/dp/0991846206

I appreciate this but what about rarities such as Mozart.
Mozart wrote his first symphony when he was eight years old.
Isn't it true that some people just have a "knack" for it.

I often like hearing the stories of the rise of people like that.
While I haven't read this book, I have it in my list and is related: Outliers: The Story of Success

Oh yeah. I do go and work out most week days but every once in a while I'll feel shity and might only jump on the threadmill for 20 minutes but I keep going.

Habit building is a skill all on it's own and the habit is more valuable than any workout. I also use my indicator/turn signal when noone's around, it takes less will power. My goal with these things is always to get to automatic so it doesn't take willpower anymore.

I recomend this

http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Rediscovering-Greatest-Human-Strength/dp/0143122231

I know that you've probably got a lot of suggestions to wade through already, but I'm part way through this book and finding it extremely helpful.

It's a little bit woo...but I'm more taking the main tenets from it and trying to apply it to my life. Mainly not engaging with my thoughts and worries, but observing them instead. Acting and being aware that I'm the observer of my thoughts, but not the thoughts themselves. It's still work, and I'm not able to do it consistently, but it has helped me get through things that would have kept eating away at me in the past.

And when I downloaded it from Amazon it was free with my prime membership. Not sure if that is still the case, but you should be able to find a cheap used copy somewhere.

While it does have its inaccuracies, check out A Short History of Nearly Everything. You'll walk away with a list a mile long of more awesome things you want to read about.

I recently made the same decision. For ongoing motivation is highly recommend cecking out this book. Just listening to the audio version makes me want to lace up my shoes and head out

My first ever book recommendation, because it's so important and relevant to this: "The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer. If you check it out, I'd love to know what you think.

link:

Stories like this can be found within my novel:

http://www.amazon.com/Unyielding-Surrender-Omar-Garcia-ebook/dp/B00LCOTO64/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418049689&sr=8-1&keywords=unyielding+surrender

Get this book

It will change your life in much positive way.

I really appreciate and agree with this article. I am 33 years old, have a good job, but have had many bad relationships. Then I read The War of Art and it motivated me to get off my ass and start living my life. It also motivated me to realize that I needed to improve myself; that my failed relationships had to do with my failures as well. So I started my transformations. I read the following books: Codependent No More, The 4-Hour Body, Wheat Belly, and am currently reading The Fine Art of Small Talk. In two months I joined nofap here (50 days plus), lost 25lbs (plus more body fat), dropped from a size 36+ to a 32, went down to shirt sizes, read many books, went to Boston, made new friends, helped some old ladies, learned how to cook, stopped eating all gluten and wheat products, learned how to shave with a DE razor (plus I shave my head), and generally took over my life. I agree with this article because as Americans we are taught that we are perfect. We need to realize that WE DO NEED TO MAKE CHANGES--that is an integral part of bettering yourself and growing up.

I'm no buddhist, but The Art of Happiness really helps me a lot. I read it again every few years.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Now-Spiritual-Enlightenment/product-reviews/1577314808/ref=dpx_acr_txt?showViewpoints=1

I see a lot of satisfied readers, who are you to judge them?

Yep! This is further discussed in Carol Dweck's book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

The War of Art has some great chapters on this, great book, Very easy audiobook as the chapters are crazy short, you can get a few in on even the shortest commute.

[The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles] (http://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Through-Creative-Battles/dp/1936891026)

For me, there's no better book for getting me to work on my projects.

https://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Through-Creative-Battles/dp/1936891026/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

To everyone that has asked for the link to his book, I apologize for not putting it in earlier, I wrote this before going to school.

http://www.amazon.com/Unyielding-Surrender-Omar-Garcia-ebook/dp/B00LCOTO64/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417533832&sr=8-1&keywords=unyielding+surrender

Food is tough for many reasons, and some of them is highlighted in your post. Many things can be kicked cold turkey, and that's a pretty damn effective way to handle them. However, given foods overall importance to not starving to death, it can't be kicked cold turkey. Another thing is that in all likelihood, some of those old habits (smoking, drinking, etc) have been co-opted by eating. Habits never actually go away, you just change what action occurs between the cue and the reward. So, I would bet that some of those bad habits were transformed into overeating habits.

Check out this book, it may give you some insight. It's obviously not an end all be all guide, but it could give you a skill set that you haven't yet had in your battle against overeating. Perhaps this one will be the one.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Habit-Business-ebook/dp/B0055PGUYU

you should read this

You mean the book? It was this one: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

Seth Godin wrote a book on this exact thing called The Dip

This, that resistance never goes away, but your attitude towards it completely shifts with enough right action.

I also reccomend the power of Now by Eckhart Tolle https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808/

The mindset that pain and comes from resisting what is, from thinking about the future or the past rather than being present is very powerful when practiced enough

> You cannot learn a talent

That's debatable. http://www.amazon.com/Outliers-Story-Success-Malcolm-Gladwell/dp/0316017922/ref=cm_cr_dp_asin_lnk

I've experienced the same things you have! Like I know what to do but I just don't do it, then I'll watch something motivational and get myself pumped up! Only to be distracted by something else and go back to the same bleak existence... I know there's a lot of self help books etc, but the book that really struck the nail on it's head for me was: The War of Art And since you want to write a book this could be particularly usefull to you! LMK what you think of it if you end up reading it, very quick and easy read...

You do have control. You just have been fooled into thinking you do not. We are programed from a young age. The deprograming part can ve tricky, but, not impossible.

Once in those modes of sad, it can be gripping. Sometimes the sadness teaches us something. We have to be willing to listen. And then remember that voice that is beating the shit out of you... is not actually you. There is a line that is always crossed by that inner voice. If you can stop it and say, I can not change the past, I can not change anothers actions... the only thing I have is a choice to make right now. To beat the shit out of myself. Or not.

If nothing else find other shit to fill your head with.
My suggestion:

https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808

Do not be too off put, in the begining of this book, he gives great detail of his own dealings with depression and suicide. We tell each other and ourselves that no one knows what it is like to be us or feel what we are feeling. That is not true. We are all capable of feeling every emotion on the spectrum. We again either choose not to or ignore. We are capable of love, hate, truth, lies, murder, rape, compassion, empathy, joy, laughter, anger, greed, etc... we are all capable. We choose. This book opens the door of choice and then leads you through it. You just have to choose. If you believe you can't, you are right. If you believe there is another way, you are right, if you believe reading the book will assist, you are right. That is the cool thing about choice. It's all in your head. ;) no seriously. It is.