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I am so, so glad to hear that you are finding acceptance. Mashallah.

FWIW I have zero interest in praying next to men either! Just...why? No thanks. But hey, to each their own...I suppose if you are same-sex attracted it makes a lot more sense to pray surrounded by the opposite gender, but I'll take a hard pass. I'm glad people have options though!

As for approaching your friend - I've been thinking about this all weekend and I just don't know. Y'all are at a touchy age. Wanting to belong, and also needing to find something to rebel against. Most people have one impulse stronger than the other, but I'm wondering if "Sam" isn't one of those people who are sort of balanced between and spend a lot of time seesawing and making themselves miserable.

The single best course of action is to be a strong example, not to give into things you feel are haram, but simultaneously not to reject her when she messes up. That's also incredibly hard to do, and if you can manage just that much, it may be enough. If Islam really is what she's called to, and she knows she can trust you, eventually she will get over the impulse to rebel against the thing she's voluntarily embraced and she may use you as a role model or ask you for advice, then.

If, on the other hand, Islam is just a phase for her, well, that's harder and I don't have solid advice whether you should continue the friendship in that case. I have non-Muslim friends but they respect my choices, 100%. I would not keep a friend who did not! That's my best advice.

I do have one suggestion that MIGHT work....there's a trilogy of books by a sister named Umm Zakiyah that are aimed at teenagers and feature a rebellious Muslim girl and a Christian girl who is drawn to Islam....they MIGHT just engage her enough to think through some of her choices. Or they might make her laugh. Either way, I bet you'd enjoy them so maybe consider reading them and passing them on?

I really wish I had a perfect answer for you.

I love winter because I can wear sweater dresses with pants and still be cute and comfortable. I also wear tunic length shirts like the kinds you can get from Artizara-- with a belt they look very elegant and modest.

Casually, I have a long plaid button up and some viscose tunics. Not very feminine, but they're easy to wear when I don't want to put in an effort.

Pantwise, I wear mostly loose fitting jeans. It's difficult because I'm petite so they bunch up near my ankles... I should really get them tailored some day. I really want to try wearing legged pants-- they look so comfy and the patterns are so interesting. But I need some courage ( and money lol).

During the summer I'll wear maxi-dresses and skirts, but I have a little difficulty being totally comfortable. The dresses and skirts I have are a bit more bohemian/hippie, but I'm a bit more goth so it feels odd wearing a white lacey skirt. But I love by black maxi dress and black jersey skirt-- they're so versatile and all it takes is a pretty scarf and jean jacket to tie it all together.

Outerwear-wise: I just bought a long black cardigan off of Amazon and I'm in love. It actually fits my arms and has a high neck so I can easily wear any top under it. I also have a few different coats-- a black knee length trench coat which is good for rain, a green peacoat for colder weather, and a puffy marshmallow coat for the winter. What I really want is a long grey coat( kinda like this but better constructed) because the green clashes with my more colorful scarves.

I've spent so long at the whim of my mother's more... questionable fashion rules (the 90's never ended) so I'm eager to grow into my personal style.

Salaam sis. I just wanted to drop in to say that it truly does get better. Your heart and mind are both already in the right place, aH. Leave it to Allah and remain living your life with sabr.

I got out of something similar recently, and at first I was hurting and not understanding why I did what I did (initiate the breakup).. but aH Allah truly gives you the strength to move on. I feel more positive and content with myself now that I know I'm out of a wrong relationship. I'm at a stage where I now entirely understand that Allah swt. did not find this relationship to be what's best for me. I really recommend adapting this outlook on the breakup situation that happened in your life.

I started reading this book by Yasmin Mogahed, called "Reclaim Your Heart", and aH it has been of immense help and has given me the extra guidance I needed to understand that Allah knows whats best for us. I'll paste the Amazon link for you in case you want to check it out!

https://www.amazon.com/Reclaim-Your-Heart-Yasmin-Mogahed/dp/0990387682/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1532441245&sr=8-1&keywords=mogahed

Learning arabic isn't the only way to learn about Islam. So many books are translated to english these days that you could learn endlessly and still have more to read. There are tons of great online courses, podcasts, and other resources that teach tons of great subjects. That said, learning arabic for me was a way to help motivate me and for me to get closer to the Quran, basically, it just worked for me.

> Arabic is really not taught where I live

If you still want to learn arabic then I would recommend buying one of the books off amazon and finding a sister you trust and ask her to go through the book with you (offer to pay her if you have the means). Learning at the masjid can often be ineffective because they may not be trained teachers. Just invite your tutor to your place, a library, their place, etc. Exams can be stressful, I totally get that so work through the book but at your own pace. If you're just starting out practice by reading 1 page of Quran everyday, even if it takes 10-20 minutes, I promise you'll speed up later.

I've used both of the books listed below, one at uni and one at community college. They both are really good and used extensively.

1. Al-Kitab
   
   
2. Arabic for Lfe
   
   if you really can't afford them but are really interested I'd be willing to ship you a used one (or find a way to get you copy that you're comfortable with, like through the mods or something)
   
   
   hope this helps and may Allah make your learning easy for you

Salaam :)

I use both of these types of pins: this one I use to secure my scarf after I'm all done. I use these ones to secure my scarf at the top of my head and on the sides. I like to keep my hijab very close to my head.

It doesn't matter what kind of underscarf I use, they ALL seem to slide back over my ears. That's one of the reasons I wear my hijab like this: one, two, three although this one is entirely of one piece, I think.


I've also tried these types of headbands: one, two, and three. I use two of those mainly, but my favorite, even though it slides over my ears, is this one: mine is white. I like this one a lot because my hair is long, I don't always want a high ponytail or a bun, so I can do a low ponytail and stuff all the rest of my hair into this. Keeps my hair good and secure.

I don't know how these other girls keep their underscarves/undercaps from sliding and exposing their ears, but unless I'm wearing my hijab loosely, like this lady.

That only usually happens if we're in a hurry and then the whole time I'm feeling naked because I can feel the air/wind on my ears VERY VERY WELL and it freaks me out. My hubby finds it amusing I get so freaked out by it ;)

Hi, hijabi here who cycles everyday both for excercise and transportation.

I've found that the best solution is skinny jeans paired with long tunics or short dresses.

I would not recommend culottes or harem pants. Too much risk that these get caught in the drive chain and you crash.

If you feel iffy about skinny pants, consider wearing regular fit / straight leg / relaxed fit pants that you secure with a leg protector while you cycle. Example

I personally do not like wearing leggings, I find them too revealing. Skinny jeans / skinny stretch pants are tight enough to be practical for cycling, yet they tend to fit slightly looser than leggings, are less see-through and look more polished in the office.

Make sure that whatever you wear around your hips and upper legs is not too wide and too flowy or you might end up getting the tails of your tunic or the skirt of your short dress into the spokes of your hind wheel. It is best if the top is pretty straight. Example

Make sincere du'a to draw closer to Allah. He is the turner of hearts, and one of the most frequent du'as that the Prophet saw made was for Allah to strengthen his heart on Islam.
Dua here: http://muslimmatters.org/2010/07/08/the-supplication-series-the-forgotten-piece-of-flesh/

Read the Qur'an! I recommend this translation by Emerick SO Highly http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1450549535/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687502&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1451506910&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0WG5P7TSGY6RSPY18RRT

It has tafsir and context of the ayahs, and it makes you feel like you are really understanding it for the first time. I would read it and shake because it was like Allah was really talking to me. If you find another version that does that for it, connect with it.

Dhikr - keep you mind and tongue busy with remembering Allah - recite Qur'an, listen to Qur'an, make dua (in English is fine, or any language!), even just subhanallah wa bihamdihi (http://sunnah.com/bukhari/83/59)

Don't despair of Allah's mercy! Indeed He forgives all sins. http://quran.com/39/53

cyber hug

Hi! I'm not Muslim, but I am a modest dresser, and I thought that I might chime in.

One of the best things I've ever found is a half-tee. It looks like they might ship to you? The long sleeve and long sleeved turtleneck ones are so awesome, and they literally opened up a new world of clothing for me.

For the maxi dresses with slits, I typically wear leggings with them, but a pair of lightweight, loose pants could also be worn underneath. Or you could sew them shut? OR add a full slip underneath to cover your legs?

I always put a cardigan over anything that doesn't have sleeves. Lots of people like casual blazers for a more structured look.

Between leggings, cardigans, and half-tees, and slips, I find that I can make pretty much any mainstream item work.

My favorite outfits are: loose trousers and linen or cotton tunics, maxi dresses with a half-tee or cardigan to cover my arms, long flowing skirts with a tucked in (slightly) fitted shirt.

Assalamu 'alaikum sister :) may your life and soul be at peace, and may Allah bless you for your efforts

I second what Throwminigolf said about the sealed nectar. This book might be a good one to try though! I've found it to be a much easier read. It's not too long either, and is relatable.

2 ish months into my break from the search and it's been really good for my well-being, alhamdulillah. I've been reading Before You Tie the Knot (very slowly because work is busy atm) and I'm loving it. Learning lots about marriage in Islam and feeling way more at ease about the whole process for when I'm ready to get back to it.

Assalamu'alaykum, may Allah reward you for your intention. I have a round face and what I've found is, try to lay the fabric further back on your head and pin it together under your chin so that you have no (or practically no) fold on the sides. That lengthens your face. The closer to your temples you fold, the rounder your face will look. http://ayusolehacloset.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_14.html?m=1

Also, try a velvet headband under your scarf for better grip on the material, like this (you can cheaper ones elsewhere): https://www.amazon.com/Velvet-Headband-Scarves-Bandana-Tichel/dp/B01G2A0NWG

Material is really important. Choose light, breathable, non-slippery fabrics. Jersey is comfy and you don't even really need pins. Chiffon is fancier but you'll need pins. Crinkled cotton is a good, easy to wear choice.

While there may not be mosques around, I am a fellow revert and have had similar issues in rural NC myself. I have some general tips for issues I myself faced as an exurban/rural American revert.


First, when searching for mosques know that google maps may have them listed as “masjids” “mosques” or “Islamic centers,” all of which don’t always come up in the respective other’s search results, so try searching all 3 individually.


Secondly, a lot of colleges (even somewhat mid size to small ones) have Muslim Student Associations even if there is not a mosque in the town the MSA is in; if there are any local colleges within an hour-hour and a half of you, try google searching “_university MSA” and “__university Muslim Student Association” respectively. They are welcoming and let non-students of the college attend too. Often times in these small rural college towns, the MSA acts as the sole mosque for any non-student Muslims in the community.


Thirdly, I don’t know if you live anywhere near a state border, but the “Mosque Cares” organization (the Sunni Muslim group that is a heritage-based community of the American Nation of Islam followers who left the NOI for Sunni Islam with Malcolm X in the 1960’s/70’s) doesn’t have any mosques in Nebraska, but does have them in neighboring states. Since these mosques tend to be smaller than others, sometimes they’ll not show up on google maps when searching. Here is the link to the full list of addresses and contact info for all of the Mosque Cares-founded mosques: http://wdmministry-masaajidlisting.blogspot.com/2012/06/listing-in-order-by-state.html?m=1


And finally, take a look at these three fellow rural American Muslim reverts who speak about their experiences being a bridge between the Muslim and the majority non-Muslim rural American world’s.
https://www.amazon.com/Memoirs-Hillbilly-Muslim-Linda-Ilham/dp/1457502739

https://www.pbs.org/video/redneck-muslim-kdqugq/

https://youtu.be/C0EcbyIF9QM



Best wishes to you!

I'm also a non-Muslim who wears modest swimwear. I actually got mine off of Amazon from the company Ababalaya.

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They have lots of styles but this is the kind I have enjoyed the most: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B076LW5C8S/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1