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It does sound like a great opportunity for you and I'm so glad to hear that you're doing this the right way and looking for information and guidance. So many people would take this opportunity and just go ahead thinking they know best and end up doing more harm than good. Seems like it'll be a very good thing for you and the horse so good job doing it correctly!

You should do a lot of lunge work and pole with him. I dont know how frequently you plan on working him, but every other to every third time should be lunge work over poles. Right now, you don't need to be on him every time. Lunge work shouldnt just be about him going around in a circle at different gates (thats fairly useless other than to tire him out). On the lunge you can do a lot of bending exercises and pole work to get him using his body and going forward and engaging his hind end. If you want me to elaborate on what sort of exercises you can do Id be happy to explain.

Since youre just starting to ride and work him, keep your rides very short and mostly walk with some trot. They should be positive and about getting him thinking and forward. If he kicks off you have to sit back and ride him forward. If he decides he wants to be an ass and run then let him run but dont let him stop until you decide its time to slow down. If youre afraid of him bucking or rearing than spin him in tight circle (inside leg back, outside leg forward, open inside arm at elbow) and do that until he gives and softens and then his reward is to go forward. Tight circles are good bc its keeps them off balance enough that they cant be dangerous but still allows them to go forward so they release the energy and dont get claustrophobic or bouncy.

As for my background, I live in NH so I'm way too far to help you other than via the internet. I'm 25, a vet student, and have been riding for about 15 years, and intensively training dressage for the past 4. Ive spent a lot of time working with young or problem horses and getting them to learn to use their bodies and soften and move forward properly.

Regarding books, these are the three I recommend most and are my favorites. You should also subscribe to Dressage Today.
http://www.amazon.com/There-Problem-Horses-Only-Riders/dp/061812750X
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dressage-Kyra-Kyrklund/dp/1905693249/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337036500&sr=8-1
http://www.amazon.co.uk/USDF-Guide-Dressage-Jennifer-Bryant/dp/1580175295

Feel free to ask any questions you ahve and I'll do my best to answer. You're welcome to send me anything you want me to look at as well. I can pm you my email address if youd like as its easier to keep in touch long term that way.

Agreed to making sure she doesn't have anything going on medically. But here are a couple ideas.

My feet used to fall asleep while riding, when I was inadvertently pushing too hard in my stirrups. A longer stirrup helped, but I did need to make sure I was keeping my knee bent and not shoving my feet into the stirrup. I would suggest playing with stirrup length. Maybe they need to be a hole shorter to give her leg more support? I have never heard of the entire leg falling asleep either. Maybe she could alternate sitting and standing in the saddle for a change of position? Of course, she has probably thought of this, but she could hand walk her horse for a minute or two during the ride just to keep things from getting stiff and falling asleep.

As far as her knees, making sure the saddle fits her properly is a good place to start. Also, if the leather is really stiff, it can prevent the stirrups from really rotating the correct direction, which puts torque on the knees. Lube it up with a leather softener, over rotate the stirrups, and put a 2x4 through them to hold them in that position when not riding. It will really help!

Two more ideas. Sorry for the novel.

I have used these in the past on a borrowed saddle https://www.amazon.com/Tough-1-72-2060-2-25-P-Stirrup-Turner/dp/B00EJFDMT8 They make the stirrup rotation a non-issue and SO much more comfortable. Just make sure you buy the one that is long enough to reach for your particular saddle. There are a number of brands and sizes.

Also, once the saddle is a non-issue, she can think about turning her toes out a little away from the horse's sides so that her knees can come away from the saddle a little, and her lower leg can swing in line with her knees again. The whole "toes facing forward" idea only works for people with bow-legs or really skinny horses. Haha!

/u/4horses hit the nail on the head! It sounds like you're approaching this the exact right way--you certainly wouldn't want to jump into horse ownership at this stage of the game. If you start now though, you'll be set up perfectly for your goal of owning a few by retirement age. The owner of my barn is an equine vet who learned to ride as an adult and I never would have guessed if he hadn't told me. He's an incredibly capable rider! I've known many other riders who started as adults and while some are surprised by the learning curve (it may be humbling in the beginning!), they were all able to achieve a level of ability that they were comfortable with.

As for books, I think the best book for newbies is hands down Centered Riding by Sally Swift. She doesn't use a lot of jargon and she explains things with great mental images. http://www.amazon.com/Centered-Riding-Trafalgar-Square-Farm/dp/0312127340

Good luck and have fun!

Let me give you some product recommendations. I trail ride in Missouri winters. For pants, I wear long underwear which is under fleece pajama pants which is under jeans. Make sure these layers are bigger than your normal size. You don't want tight clothes. Because I'm a trail rider, I don't need a lot of dexiterity in my hands. I prefer mittens because they are a lot warmer than gloves. I use these liners under these mittens. My hands have never been cold with this setup. For legs, I got these socks. These are wonderful! My feet really stay warm and these socks are really thin. I didn't have these last winter but so far, I'm impressed. I also will layer these socks under wool socks. My thighs get cold a lot too. Last year, I made a thigh warmer. I went to a resale shop and bought a elastic waist skirt 4 sizes too big, a XXL fleece men's pullover, and a XXL men's rain jacket. I cut the skirt up the front and the back, leaving the waistband intact. I then cut apart the fleece and sewed that onto the leg panels of the skirt. I then sewed the rain jacket completely around the fleece so horse hair wouldn't get the fleece too dirty. This just hangs down over my legs while I ride. I goes a couple inches past my knees. It is wonderful. I tried to look for something that was commercially available, but I couldn't find anything I liked. I have gotten all this cold weather stuff after leaving school. (I went to school in Iowa and took dressage lessons). Man it was cold up these! But with this setup, I'm confident that I could stay comfortably warm in an Iowa winter. Good luck!

There is a cheap hair product called Africa's Best, a bottle is like $2 at target. I LOVE it. I keep a bottle in my shower and in the barn haha. It's basically just every oil under the sun. It's super hydrating, hasn't caused any irritation, keeps them tangle free, and helps with growth. Better than all the horse products imo.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0009R14T0?pc_redir=1408421414&robot_redir=1

The bodywork suggestions are good. Learning about it is even better. You sound like a caring owner. Thats great! Keep it up! There is a really good bodywork book out there that deals with behavioral issues by management through bodywork therapy. I have found it quite enlightening.
The Ultimate Horse Behavior and Training Book

I've definitely posted this before, but I love the Car Day Martin Belvoir Leather Conditioner! It's beeswax and lanolin based, similar to Lederbalsam but personally I've had better results with the Car Day Martin product than the Effax Lederbalsm (haven't tested other brands). Since I foxhunt, my tack is unfortunately exposed to a lot of water/mud/moisture and this stuff really protects the leather. My one friend swears by Horseman's One Step but I think it smells godawful, plus I find the name annoyingly deceptive, proper tack care is always multiple steps grahhhhh!

Six years. That was how long it took to take my Arabian gelding from vicious with a side of 'you ought to put that horse down' to nobody could believe he had ever been anything but amazing. My mother did rehabilitation and told me it was unfair to expect him to be anything but a horse in a field. Someone else told me to euthanize because she couldn't ever expect to handle him and certainly never ride him (like I'd have let that moron touch my breyer model horses, nevermind him). I once told a vet determined to beat him for 'lack of discipline' that I'd make him eat the whip and sue him for every penny in his bank (and was the girl who couldn't say a definitive no on my own behalf). The moral of this story is that your daughter is amazing and from one owner of a 'hopeless' case to another, you have all my undying respect. Given a patient, loving handler and enough time, these amazing animals can turn anything around. Tell your daughter to keep going, one day she may not even remember the day the farrier refused to enter the stall. If she hasn't already, try this book. It was one of my main go to guides through a lot of episodes because it is all about communication on their terms.

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Language-Horses-Communicate-Handicappers/dp/0688036201

Pinched nerves, migraines, blah blah. You mess with a spine, there are going to be issues. Don't be like me and wait 12 years to get serious about doing something about it, is my best advice! And do NOT stop doing what works for you just because you get better (she says to herself...)!

Ok, try not to laugh TOO hard at my incredibly artful drawings! Here is the yoga/stretching program that I do daily. This is the very basic start of it. As these became easier I upped the time held, how far I reached, added new positions, etc. I also included the little hand strengthening set I just got from Amazon. Nerve damage can be a sneaky little bastard, and hand weakness can sneak up on you. Dropping reins sucks. If it's an issue, might be something to consider. I'm also using it to get better at my piano playing. Also sharing the Amazon links to my favorite (and cheap) yoga mat and assistance/stretch strap. :)

Mat here.

Strap here.

I have been in the same situation, with a horse above my level I mean. It is really important to build the trust slowly. Like Usinuk said just walk and trot. Change it up is the best way to keep him focused on you and not causing trouble. May I suggest trying to find a copy of this book. http://www.amazon.ca/101-Dressage-Exercises-Horse-Rider/dp/1580175953/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1346257713&sr=1-1

It will give you lots of new things to try so you don't get bored.
Good Luck, and keep us updated!

First of all, welcome to the dark side!! ;)

I strongly suggest you invest in a copy of Hunter Seat Equitation by George Morris. You can get it used a little cheaper. It's like the Bible of hunter/jumper riding. I've read it through a few times, and both I and my trainer still open it from time to time when we have a question or stumble upon a problem. It covers everything!

Best of luck! :)

Favorite book for a while in middle school: The Perfect Distance

Other good books:

Most anything by Marguerite Henry (Misty, Sea Star, San Domingo). I read those alot.

Also Walter Farley (Black Stallion, Man O War).

Seabiscuit


Thats all I'm thinking of off the top of my head. I'm sure some of there ere posted earlier.

EDIT: Also Equus was a good read, had horses in it but I wouldn't say it was "horsey" per say. Definitely more mature than my other suggestions.

I use Belvoir conditioner for my saddle's monthly conditioning.

I used Stubben Hamanol on my leather driving harness before I switched to a betathane harness. It works well and supposedly won't stretch the stitching, but takes a while to soak in and has a slight bacon scent.