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> I'm using that, it's wonderful! The extension on my browser purely a reading aid. I'm what they call a 文盲 but as long as I hear it, I know what it means. It also has definitions on it. It's actually a really great tool. If your on Chrome, the extension is called "Zhongwen Chinese Pop Up Dictionary."

Yea I was going to recommend that as well, it must be perfect for you! I should probably do that more (play the sound of a text) to help improve my listening comprehension...

> 礼物 refers to the actual object, but 送礼 is usually used to refer to the act.

oh interesting, never heard that before...

> Wow. Not going to pretend to understand that. My dictionary is telling me it means "property, justice, integrity, and honor" (the four social bonds) when put together. You can read that?!

well, I just know about 禮 and 儀 from confucius, I studied 論語 (analects) for a short time and these are common themes and used as individual words. 廉I'm actually not too clear on. 恥就是「恥辱」的恥。I think it means 面子

> C'est l'internet. Si on n'utilise pas une dictionnaire, c'est un peu fou! et il y a beaucoup des personnes mechants qui l'utilise. And nope!

tu as raison! personnes méchants? qu'est-ce que ça veut dire!?

> 哈哈我也打错字了。我也没建构哪个”褴“。我想写"烂"。对不起啊！自己的中文这么差，还想帮别人。其实，我对中国城不是特别收。我妈等我上大学以后才搬到城市里。大部分得时间，我在学校呆。我只去过一两个餐馆。好像老城的吃的比新城的更地道。您能不能提出几个好饭馆？

呵呵，没关係， 我们都是从声音大出来的，至少妳的语言很流利，我在两个方面都很差。 你太谦虚了！嗯中国城没有那麽特别，但是那里有真宗中国菜，所以我常常去买东西或吃一顿饭。对於老城新城，我觉得两个都可以，depends what kind of food you want and how good the chef is... 比如说香港点心，万寿宫、名轩还好。两个都在“新城”（新城表示chinatown square 那个地方对吧？）的附近。。

你喜欢吃什麽菜？北方菜， 有一家叫「北国饭店」，by 31st and halsted, 那里的小笼包不错，週末有豆浆油条。在郊区有一些好的，都在Westmont 的附近，那边有些台湾饭店，也很便宜的。Also the new Korean place in "old chinatown" is actually quite good!


> Haha why do you think I quit. I have some old textbooks from Chinese school. Also, I'm going to try and qualify for the Chinese for Chinese speakers class at my university, and I'm taking some of my mom's old cookbooks with me and attempting to translate (I have to do it if I'm hungry, right?) Apparently once you learn 3000 words in Chinese, the language becomes very easy. Did you take formal classes or self taught?

I didnt think you quit, just wondered what resources you use to learn .. chinese school, that makes sense...

yes, you will starve if you don't finish the translation! I bought a really good chinese cookbook (in english) once but i never use it... it's much easier to pay someone else to make the food for me, I guess I'm lazy... this is the one i got: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0394496388/ref=wms_ohs_product_img?ie=UTF8&psc=1


> Did you take formal classes or self taught?

I took classes with private tutors at first, which I think was very important. I had one teacher from mainland china and my current teacher is from HK (yes, part of the reason i use traditional characters, but I prefer to use them regardless as i study ancient culture and I find the system to be better). currently I don't have a chinese language class, but I study chinese calligraphy and other such courses wherein we use mandarin as a primary language, so this is greatly helping improve my vocabulary and conversational skills...

> Jealous, you can claim true loyalty. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be hard to label me as a bandwagoner since I didn't start watching until 2010, but in all fairness, I didn't know hockey existed until then. And yes. Very epic. Very amazing. Also very frustrating. That's pretty unfortunate that you don't have time :(

I watched the game last night. I chose a good one to watch !

Thinking, Fast and Slow - Daniel Kahneman


Major New York Times bestseller
Winner of the National Academy of Sciences Best Book Award in 2012
Selected by the New York Times Book Review as one of the ten best books of 2011
A Globe and Mail Best Books of the Year 2011 Title
One of The Economist's 2011 Books of the Year
One of The Wall Street Journal's Best Nonfiction Books of the Year 2011
2013 Presidential Medal of Freedom Recipient
Kahneman's work with Amos Tversky is the subject of Michael Lewis's The Undoing Project: A Friendship That Changed Our Minds

In the international bestseller, Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman, the renowned psychologist and winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics, takes us on a groundbreaking tour of the mind and explains the two systems that drive the way we think. System 1 is fast, intuitive, and emotional; System 2 is slower, more deliberative, and more logical. The impact of overconfidence on corporate strategies, the difficulties of predicting what will make us happy in the future, the profound effect of cognitive biases on everything from playing the stock market to planning our next vacation―each of these can be understood only by knowing how the two systems shape our judgments and decisions.

Engaging the reader in a lively conversation about how we think, Kahneman reveals where we can and cannot trust our intuitions and how we can tap into the benefits of slow thinking. He offers practical and enlightening insights into how choices are made in both our business and our personal lives―and how we can use different techniques to guard against the mental glitches that often get us into trouble. Winner of the National Academy of Sciences Best Book Award and the Los Angeles Times Book Prize and selected by The New York Times Book Review as one of the ten best books of 2011, Thinking, Fast and Slow is destined to be a classic.

https://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Fast-Slow-Daniel-Kahneman/dp/0374533555
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinking,_Fast_and_Slow

The people here commenting, many don't seem to have any first-hand experience with this philosophy. It's similar to those who talk out of their ass about modern Satanism or anything else they don't understand but is associated with "bad" or "taboo" imagery. Buy into the hype and bandwagons and you don't have to actually research and think, how convenient.

The better place to start? https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/ and https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/. Not as many "seasoned" posters or authority figures of the movement. It is hilarious to me, some of the comments I see below mentioning "controlling" or "manipulative" as keywords. Controlling is furthest from the truth. Now there are some in the PUA movement where the employ high usage of Dark Triad traits (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad) which are of course meant to be manipulative or "harsher" but that's not the norm.

You'll notice that every focus in the MarriedRedPill Sub is ALL about self improvement. It's not manipulation, it's becoming the opposite of needy. Becoming "outcome independent" so that you aren't hinging on expectations of what the other person will do. The goal is to be masculine, strong, and assertive. To be so self assured that you CAN allow someone else in without scaring them off with needy beta behavior. That's it. The idea (and it is a philosophy, you don't have to identify with it) is that we are evolved in this way. The majority of women who want happy marriages are going to do better in a SLIGHTLY submissive role. Submissive doesn't mean lesser, or worth less or any other feminist garbage of the modern age.

The MarriedRedPill Sub really illustrates a captain/co-captain relationship. The idea is that men are leading their lives and a great woman for you will support that and support your mission. They don't process information the same way and DO NOT want to be included in every little thought you have. They want to see you succeed and that fulfills their purpose. They are turned on by your confidence and self assurance. That comforts them. Provides security.

I think the issue is that we are here on INTP. I'm reading through this book now: https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339 and I have to tell you.... the majority of the people on this sub fall into this kind of male. That book and this one other https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/dp/0553263900 will change your life and attitude if you follow the guidance and advice within. It has ZERO mention of red-pill, just psychologists talking about counseling and assertiveness and not being the "nice guy" anymore. It is helping me a lot and I recommend both.

It's not PC to say that women and men are different. Humans are different. Even the races are different in predictable ways. It doesn't mean that they don't all have the same potential or that they should have less opportunity. However, we cannot equalize outcomes. That is up to the individual.

02

>acting like you know what you're talking about and actually knowing what you're talking about are different things

Tell me about it -- Sophist.

I made a clear case why countries are different i.e. they fit into categories, and why they do so. You haven't presented any kind of coherent logical argument, but shouted expletives and made vague insinuations.

>Not privileged per se
>
>Thank you for admitting you're wrong

I've done no such thing. More sophistry. I never even mentioned privilege, at least not in the context you are trying to refer to. (Strawman attack.) At no point do you actually care about arriving at the truth, you are simply trying to engage in trolling and one-upmanship. What I actually said was: "benefit everyone rather than just a few privileged elites" indicating the OWO i.e. financial elite. You didn't even understand the initial concept.

>just throw every idea together and make dubious link

Not what narrow-minded Mandarins like to do, I know.

>We like to have smart people here

Well that excludes you by default then.

>Me criticizing your BS is basically public service

In your dreams, what you're actually doing is self-gratifying trolling, and reinforcing your own naive empiricism ("show me the sensory evidence") because you find it fun to troll and nitpick. You are psychopathic at least.

>=> Thinks he can just ignore language

The semantic language used isn't "strongly correlated" to the psychology of a society. Of course if you could actually think, you'd realize that.

>guess that was probably right

You whine about no evidence, and then you engage in naive guesswork, just like all irrational empiricists.

>strongest counter argument is from one line

That was more or less a trival point orthogonal to the main point -- you haven't even addressed the core thesis: you haven't shown that different societies have the same psychology everywhere, as opposed to there being key differences, as already laid out.

>change my point that you don't know shit about Europe

You haven't made any valid points, just vague assertions about how I'm allegedly wrong. Well done? Whatever makes you happy.

>What is the House of Lords?

Part of the Old World Order -- financial elite.

Since we're apparently now asking random questions: what is ontological mathematics?

>Oh my god, shut the fuck up

This is why this subreddit needs moderation, to get rid of vile, carping trolls such as yourself. Trolls like to identify as INTP, but they are predominantly an ESTP phenomenon. Trolls lie to themselves about their own type.

>the average dude certainly has power

Not in any meaningful sense, especially when compared to the power of the financial elite.

>choose to "rule from the shadow" or whatever, it's just that they couldn't do it openly anymore

I don't engage in irrational conspiracy theories, you're projecting. Nobody "rules from the shadows", the financial elite rule openly. False consciousness isn't a "conspiracy theory", it's a psychological concept, you dunce. Look it up. False consciousness means that "the average dude" supports the OWO, even against his own best interests -- he has bought into the values of the elite class.

https://www.amazon.com/OWO-Anti-Elite-Book-Adam-Weishaupt-ebook/dp/B005VU2UMA

>restrained markets ? Guess you like China

Strawman. China has its own problems. I advocate meritocracy, with 100% inheritance tax and a rational, intelligent government (rule by philosophers and mathematicians, psychologists and scientific experts).

https://www.amazon.com/Case-Meritocracy-Political-Book-ebook/dp/B018W0ULVM

>Freedom of speech (restricted in Germany)

Well that was random -- and wrong. You try to bring up barely relevant details but can't see the larger picture.

"The Federal Republic of Germany guarantees freedom of speech, expression, and opinion to its citizens as per Article 5 of the constitution."

>taxes (heavy in scandinavia)

"Not paying taxes" is not a metric of freedom. If that were the case, you would be "free" in a jungle, with no human contact (that is of course the defining credo of all irrational libertarians). Freedom is not 'negative liberty' i.e. to be left alone to rot, to shop, etc. but the freedom for -- to choose the system of your society (i.e. to have a meritocracy rather than predatory capitalism) and to take part in transformative, communal projects (landing men on the moon for the first time was an example of a 'positive liberty' project). Less jungle, more Star Trek / Venus Project.

No wonder you felt so compelled to start trolling: I was contradicting your irrational libertarian biases.

>Here, I already won

Only inside your own psychopathic, delusional head. You've won nothing because you've made no valid points.

>than living under communist rule

Nobody was advocating communism. (Although your terror of it again, shows irrational right-wing 'negative liberty' and anti - intelligent design of society, as envisioned in Star Trek or the Venus Project).

Communism is equal outcomes, whereas meritocracy promotes equality of opportunity only (a fair start) and where you go from there is up to you -- it is an inequal outcomes system.

>constituions

I did reference the constitution above, to satisfy your fixation on minor details. Also, learn to spell if you're going to be a virulent troll. (Maybe if you spent less time trolling, you would be able to get it right!)

>Looks like you have bought into the false consciousness of the financial elite
>
>What are you even talking about ?

Of course a concept such as false consciousness would go right over your head. Whereas you are a Mandarin, empiricist and Sophist. I am a Sage/Gadfly, rationalist and ontological mathematician. You insist on bogging every sentence down on an online forum with "show me the sensory evidence" and "who wrote that? are they authorised, do they have 'status'?" -- as if that mattered.

If you want to waste everyone's time, and act in a manner not consistent with an NT, by all means, keep trolling.

If you want to learn and become rational, read The God Series by Mike Hockney.

https://www.amazon.com/Mike-Hockney/e/B004KHR7DC

I like to think of emotions as information about how the outside world is affecting my inside world. Information is a lot easier to process, for me.

As far as navigating the social world, three things helped me. Two were books, this one and this one. The first uses MBTI terminology to talk about socializing. If MBTI is the nomenclature you're familiar with, it's very helpful. The second has a really stupid title so forget the title and open it up and read it: it's a handbook for those of us who don't intuit social rules. That book spells things out for people like us. it's simple and easy to read. Some of it sounds a little dumb to us (like "lining up your heart" with the other person's when you're talking to them) but the results are undeniably worth it.

The third thing that helped me were mentors. Two people were crucial turning points in my life. One was a friend in college, a woman from an upper class family who had better social graces than anyone else I've ever met. She took me under her wing and taught me a lot about social interactions, decorum, how to dress, all that stuff. Totally transformed my life in college and after it. She was just a kind person who took a liking to me, but you can seek out someone like that, too. Don't be afraid to tell someone that you admire what they do and want to learn from them, most people love being acknowledged for things they're good at (don't you)?

The other mentor I had was more formal and someone I sought out when I was beginning in business and tripping up horribly. Again this was someone who took me under their wing and showed me the ins and outs of what I was attempting. I found them through business connections. It was someone who was already retired, so I wouldn't be competition for them, and they were delighted to spend some of their retirement teaching what they knew to someone just starting out.

The important thing to take away from this is there are resources out there. Use them and don't give up! One of the things we are very good at is learning. You can do this.

>Regarding Asbergers

You'll find that people on the Autistic spectrum tend to be one of several extremes :

• very loud or very silent
  
• behavior is either in extremely rigid or extremely chaotic
  
• hyposensitive or hypersensitive
  
• either totally obsessed or completely disinterested in something
  
• either childishly naive or very wise
  
• language is either unusually refined or unusually primitive
  
• extremely abstract or extremely literal
  
• ...
  
  Often, you'll find both opposites in the same individual, depending on the context, but little in between.
  
  See my 2015 article Why the Tech Industry Needs More Autism for more details.
  
  >The overall description of someone with asbergers doesn't fit an INTP any more than it would fit any other introvert (ie. not very well).
  
  I know a lot of people with an official "Autism spectrum diagnosis", many of whom have an "Asperger's" diagnosis.
  
  You'll find that many of the traits you summed up don't apply to a significant amount of these people.
  
  As I said, you'll find that people "on the spectrum" tend to be on BOTH extremes of a whole bunch of bell curves.
  
  >I've been obsessed with MBTI since I was a teenager[...] I used to be the epitome of a stereotypical INTP.
  
  Male INFPs share many of the same traits as INTPs... and female INTPs share many of the same traits as INFPs. That's because men tend to be more prone to "thinking" and women tend to be more prone to "feeling", regardless of personality type.
  
  See The INTP: Personality, Careers, Relationships, & the Quest for Truth and Meaning, written by a fellow INTP & MBTI-expert. Chapter 9 in particular offers a very interesting insight into the differences and similarities of the INTP & INFP.
  
  Nothing you've listed is inconsistent with INFPs, really.
  
  >Are you saying that MBTI predicts religious preference reliably?
  
  What I'm saying is that the INTP tends to be extremely logic-driven,
  
  While the INFP shares the INTP's philosophical approach to literally anything, his addiction to knowledge, his impulsiveness and a lot more, the INFP is far more prone to dogmatism & faith-based thinking.
  
  >I guess that makes sense if you think MBTI can predict things like Asbergers as well.
  
  What I'm saying is that "striking similarities exist between the symptomatic expression of Asperger’s Syndrome and several of the Myers-Briggs personality types". See eg. this article.
  
  >How long have you studied MBTI in depth? More than 15 years, or less?
  
  Not that long, really. But I have been studying myself and the people close to me in great detail. And they're such a strong match with their MBTI profiles that it's scary, really.
  
  >Instead of just generating alternative possibilities for what I am saying, why not actually consider what I'm saying?
  
  Because 38 years of life experience trying to look at everything from every angle taught me that whenever the "supernatural" is invoked, it is always either something imaginary or some misinterpreted natural phenomenon.
  
  Whenever I've looked into "supernatural" phenomena, I've never encountered ANY credible evidence to suggest otherwise.
  
  >What if I DID have good personal evidence for the existence of the supernatural?
  
  Personal experience is notoriously unreliable.
  
  That's why our ancestors developed science : to eliminate the subjectivity and noise from our perception.
  
  Anything that can not be demonstrated scientificly is by definition unreliable precisely because it can not be demonstrated scientificly.
  
  And no, that's not prejudiced of me. Over and over, it has been demonstrated that we can trust our own senses or memory only after passing through the scientific method as a filter.
  
  >you are assuming there are other explanations for my experiences and have dismissed my explanation before even hearing the details.
  
  Because there is no evidence whatsoever for the existence of anything "supernatural", the "supernatural" is always the least likely explanation. Should first eliminate other explanations before you conclude something is "supernatural".
  
  >Of course I've considered placebo affect for prayers, and after considering it, I do not think that's possible. I do not think my premonitions have anything to do with intuition. To a slightly lesser degree, I don't think the demonic torment I underwent was simply mental illness.
  
  But why?
  
  What makes these alternate explanations so much less plausible to you, other than the religious indoctrination you seem to have had?
  
  >Even scientific models are approximations that can be improved on) and sometimes the chance of something not being true I assess as negligible [...]. The chance [...] of the supernatural world not being real is negligible,
  
  I agree on the notion that basically everything can be determined as true only to a certain degree of reliability / accuracy.
  
  However, my assessment is that the chance of the "supernatural" world being anything other than a delusion or a misinterpretation of a natural phenomenon is negligible.
  
  >Why don't you use your INTP brain to consider that logical people can come to conclusions that disagree with yours?
  
  Sure I do.
  
  The Bible & Christianity are just so extremely irrational and illogical it puzzles me how any INTP older than 25 can still take it seriously.
  
  The cognitive dissonance required to make sense of a Christian worldview is gargantuan!
  
  >I think you're more into devils advocate mode where you're thinking of any alternate possibility to whatever I say
  
  I understand "playing devil's advocate" is a common INTP strategy. I don't use it. I consider it counterproductive, actually. see eg. my comment here.
  
  Although I don't mind a little sarcasm here and there and I my way of expressing myself may be a bit hyperbolic every now and then (where I neglect to nuance), I typically mean what I say and say what I mean. I don't like playing games in debate.
  
  >Want to go into INTP/Asberger alleged connection? Whether or not INTPs can be Christians? My personality type? More Bible stuff? I'm a little time constrained so lets narrow it down.
  
  I dunno, man. Do you have any preference?
  
  Either way, you'll need to go more into detail if this discussion is going anywhere. And you'll need to address the arguments I've made in this or previous comments. For example, you'll need to address the (IMO pretty solid) arguments brought forward in Ehrman's article & Dennett's video if you want to continue discussing Christianity. Because otherwise, we'll just be talking next to each other, which makes this entire interaction kind of pointless.
  
  Either way, I try to address every single argument you made with sufficient detail. If you feel / think I missed some, please accept my apologies. This is definitely not intentional.

>廉I'm actually not too clear on. 恥就是「恥辱」的恥。I think it means 面子

I don't think 面子 by itself means embarrassment. Perhaps "respect" or "face." I usually hear it used negatively, but it can also be used to mean "save face" or "preserve self-respect." ”保存面子“或者”保持面子“ as opposed to “没面子” or “丢面子” meaning "no shame" or "loose face." To my understanding, 恥辱is more like "defeat" (KIND OF LIKE HOW THE BRUINS FEEL BURN. sorry had to), but that might just be modern colloquial?

> 我在两个方面都很差。你太谦虚了！

才不！好多你用的词儿，我连想都想不起来。像“谦虚”这种词儿，我连听都没听过。

>嗯中国城没有那麽特别，但是那里有真宗中国菜，所以我常常去买东西或吃一顿饭。对於老城新城，我觉得两个都可以，depends what kind of food you want and how good the chef is... 比如说香港点心，万寿宫、名轩还好。两个都在“新城”（新城表示chinatown square 那个地方对吧？）的附近。。

我也没觉得中国诚有什么特别的饭馆，但是老诚有个小点心店叫“Chui Quo Bakery“。我最喜欢是它们的肉松包（当然，它们的点心都好吃极了）。这个店以外，我也没有很深得印象对那里的饭馆。只有些随随便便吃饭的地方。我说的“新诚”是Chinatown Square.

>你喜欢吃什麽菜？北方菜， 有一家叫「北国饭店」，by 31st and halsted, 那里的小笼包不错，週末有豆浆油条。在郊区有一些好的，都在Westmont 的附近，那边有些台湾饭店，也很便宜的。Also the new Korean place in "old chinatown" is actually quite good!

我喜欢山东湖南菜（北京菜应该算是山东菜吧？）你去没去过“Katy's Dumpling's" in Westmont? 我对韩国和台湾的菜不是特别的熟悉。


>I didnt think you quit

Sorry forgot I never mentioned I went to Chinese school. I hated it. As a 7 year old I never understood why I had to sit in a hot class room on Saturday while all my friends were chilling in their backyards.

>it's much easier to pay someone else to make the food for me, I guess I'm lazy... this is the one i got: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0394496388/ref=wms_ohs_product_img?ie=UTF8&psc=1[1]

Damn no preview. Oh well. I am looking into an English one. Understandable though, Chinese food can be obnoxious to make. Some families cook in the garage because it's so messy. Learning is a must for me though because I'm horribly picky.

>I took classes with private tutors at first, which I think was very important. I had one teacher from mainland china and my current teacher is from HK (yes, part of the reason i use traditional characters, but I prefer to use them regardless as i study ancient culture and I find the system to be better). currently I don't have a chinese language class, but I study chinese calligraphy and other such courses wherein we use mandarin as a primary language, so this is greatly helping improve my vocabulary and conversational skills

Wow. Dedication. It's nice that your teachers are from China and HK though. Taiwanese instructors tend to have accents. Since your studying ancient culture, do you learn how to interpret ancient Chinese? Or is the class English based? Haha you're going to end up more eloquent than the majority of the population.


>I watched the game last night. I chose a good one to watch !

What are you a good luck charm?


>tu as raison! personnes méchants? qu'est-ce que ça veut dire!?

J'ai parlee de les "trolls" et les "grammar nazis" et les autres personalites ennuyeuse de l'internet

I'm going to be frank here: your grammar is bad to the point of distraction. I know that grammar is relaxed in fiction, and a lot of people will argue that "if you know what I mean, then grammar shouldn't matter". The problem though is that, as an experienced reader, when I see what appears to be a grammatical error, I expect there to be a reason: maybe the author is trying to tell me something about the narrator's level of education or background, or maybe he's trying to create a sense of authenticity in dialog, or maybe he's engaging in some clever wordplay. If the author doesn't know the rules, then it creates a sense of uncertainty that interferes with suspension of disbelief and undermines the work in general, sort of like if a sci-fi writer contradicts the rules of his own universe.

If you want me to step through and help you edit, I can, but it would take some time, so I want to make sure you're interested. In the meantime, I would strongly advise you to pick up a copy of Strunk and White and give it a thorough read. It isn't long, nor is it particularly dry (at least as style guides go), and I promise your writing will improve for the effort.

Also, it's "in / with regard to", not "in / with regards to".

Edit: Just to offer a quick example...

> I don’t want to get out of bed, I’ve turned my phone off and I’m ignoring my messages for a reason, I want to be normal, I want to be happy.

This is a pretty severe run-on sentence: you need to introduce new independent clauses with a conjunction and comma, except where list rules apply. A grammatically-correct revision might look like...

> I don't want to get out of bed. I've turned my phone off, and I'm ignoring my messages for a reason: I want to be normal. I want to be happy.

I trained myself in sleep hypnosis using a pirated version of this audiotape. This guy has a really calming voice and he leads you through some self hypnosis/meditation techniques intended to help you sleep.

At a minimum, listening to something like this could help you fall asleep just by helping your mind relax. For me, after practicing with the tapes for weeks/months, I eventually relearned how to fall asleep. Now I have no problems going to sleep any more. I was also working on becoming a lucid dreamer at the time, so you could work on something like that as well if you wanted. The self hypnosis techniques are great for that. They also teach you to control your body a lot better.

Also, I used to take these melatonin pills which work really well for me. They have some stuff in them that relaxes you really well, plus the melatonin to put you to sleep. One pill will make you sleepy, two will pretty much knock you out, assuming you are actually trying to fall asleep and are not doing stuff thats going to keep you awake no matter what.

I dont need the audiotapes or the melatonin pills anymore, and I have not for a long time. The pills are still nice if I am changing time zones or altering my sleep schedule or if I really need to fall asleep on short notice.

Finally, I have found listening to audiobooks to be an excellent way to fall asleep. Find a book that you really like, nothing too serious though, and just play it very quietly while you are trying to sleep. It gives you something to listen to/do while you are still awake, but it won't prevent you from falling asleep. These days I usually don't even make it through a chapter before I am out cold. Which makes it tough to ever finish a book because I just end up playing the same chapter over and over. But the sleep is good. And with that, I am putting on my audiobook and falling asleep.

That reminds me, there's a similar video summary of the Brain Rules book over here: http://vimeo.com/10954540

(and more info here)

Totally forgot about that one. It's cool, but you can pretty much get the whole gist of it just from those links.

And if anybody's craving more psych-y books, Subliminal is also pretty cool (it's like the diet version of Thinking Fast and Slow, which is good but long), though, the Willpower Instinct one already kinda touches on a bit of material from both those anyway.

Its from the author of this book.

http://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Temperament-Character-Intelligence/dp/1885705026

Here we go:

"Dr. Keirsey recommends Rational-Idealist pairings and suggests that the best combinations would be the 'opposite,' that is, ENTJ with INFP, ENTP with INFJ, INTJ with ENFP, and INTP with ENFJ. Each of these pairs has the 'N' in common, but nothing else. Anecdotal evidence appears to support his suggestions. If the couple has too much in common, they are likely to have some obvious weak areas. For example, a Rational Inventor (ENTP) with an Idealist Champion (ENFP) have only one letter different. This couple is likely to have lots of fun generating ideas and excitement but may have difficulty actually bringing ideas to fruition. Also, it is likely that neither one of them will be wild about housework or maintenance. Couples with a lot in common may find it easier to communicate but may also find it more difficult to get everything done."

Source: http://www.keirsey.com/personalityzone/lz14.asp

Some things I have found to be total game-changers:

Check your neurotransmitters. Try supplementing with 5-htp (precursor to serotonin) and tyrosine (precursor to dopamine). Both are OTC and both absolutely work. 5-htp improves my mood and sleep quite a bit, and tyrosine in the morning dramatically increases my motivation. If you're eating poorly because you're bummed out, it is further depleting both of these.

I asked a similar question about being an unfulfilled adult INTP, and someone recommended "Mindset" and "Your Own Worst Enemy." I read both books and they have not just been apt; they've been life-changing.

Agreed on quitting the drugs. Escaping from the root cause of your malaise will only make it worse and continue to damage your self-esteem.

Practice standing up for yourself, setting personal boundaries, and telling others exactly how you really feel, if you don't already. Let other people have their own reactions to it. Depression and anxiety often coincide with codependency. Everyone I know who was codependent had generalized anxiety, and once they started asserting themselves it went away. The more you do it the easier it gets.

Strategically remove people from your life who do not make you a better person when you spend time with them. You become more like the people you choose to surround yourself with whether you want to or not.

Also, don't get overwhelmed by the choice of "what to do with your life." Any decision you make is not final, just the step before the next step. It's okay not to know. Take a look at how you prefer to spend your free time for clues about what you're really passionate about. You can either monetize these activities or identify aspects of them that you love, and figure out careers that share those aspects.

Best o' luck!

Study NLP - I'd suggest the book by Daniel Smith https://www.amazon.com/Banned-NLP-Secrets-Neuro-Linguistic-Programming-ebook/dp/B011DTK7MC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540208033&sr=8-1&keywords=daniel+smith+nlp

Seriously, you will need to go through this whole book from front to back and do as it suggests - it can take years, but well worth it (even if you just go as far as breathing exercises)


Also:

The big thing with bad habits is not finding out how to quit them - it's finding the "triggers" and then avoiding the triggers. Make a journal with each instance of your habit that you want to break - write down what you were doing before the instance - you'll see a pattern pretty soon.

Recognizing the habit is a big step in the right direction. Recognizing the "triggers" is another huge step.

best of luck!

I don't like planning, because planning is decision making, and decision making is limiting your options.

You're right about meeting any demand with an automatic refusal, but there is a huge difference between a demand and a suggestion, this is what I was referring to originally as planning vs controlling.

Imagine I'm going to come up with cool ideas of fun things for you and me to do and ask you if you want to do them, does that sound bad? That's what I would consider planning for someone else.

Your Taco Bell example isn't really about making plans, its about breaking plans. An INTP would be very unhappy to change a plan that's already been decided precisely because we don't like planning. It takes so much thinking to finally come to a decision that once something is decided it is decided. If I've already been through all that to decide on Taco Bell I don't want to go back to the drawing board and start thinking about a new option, this is me avoiding going back to planning.

As for the food-related boundaries, I'm surprised to hear that is an INTP thing, and don't really understand why it would be. However, I'm afraid of new restaurants for exactly the reasons you describe. That said, I've learned to face that fear and be willing to try new restaurants more, and I definitely recommend working through that issue as it is very socially limiting.

But going back to planning vs controlling, its not 'carte blanche permission' unless its controlling. I wouldn't want someone deciding on things I didn't have a say in at all, but I would rather have someone else come up with the options, so long as I still have the ability to say no if I want. If I try to pick a restaurant myself, I'll open up yelp and see 1000 options, and think about the pros and cons of each one and alternately decide why each one can't work or is good and never really come to a decision. If I really have to pick I'll probably just end up picking the same place I've been to a million times because I can't convince myself a new option is the right one and I'll be kind of unhappy with that decision because its boring. This is not fun for me, a bunch of indecisiveness followed by doing the same thing I'd always do. If someone else has basically picked one or a few options it makes it much easier to convince myself that's a good idea and I'll actually try something new and be much happier.

As for me being INTP vs INTJ, I'm pretty sure. I've done a lot of reading on it and this book and this description describe me extremely accurately.

Books man. The list I have to develop this is huge. But these three are a good start.

Develop Social Intelligence

Social Intelligence.

Be aware of your emotions.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Read other peoples emotions/thoughts.

What Every BODY is Saying

Branch out from there.

Look into books about body language and non verbal cues - it helped me a shocking amount. For me, I approach social interactions as a way to understand, to explore ideas and concepts, broaden my own views and understanding, act on my curiosity about the other person by asking questions and trying to engage them in interesting conversations. I never realized how much non verbal cues affected an exchange for other people than it did for me or the fact that I was sending out the wrong cues to others despite trying my best to engage them.

One of the books I've read is What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People - Amazon Link and The Definitive Book of Body Language I have read a couple of others as well but can't remember their names off the top of my head.

I found a pdf of the books here and here after a bit of googling.

When I put some of these non verbal behaviors into practice, I was utterly shocked to find how much of a difference it made (I didn't really believe it would make such a difference). I felt a bit fake and awkward about it in the beginning but as I practiced, it is starting to feel more genuine. I guess I am exercising my Fe and improving my application of it. People generally became a bit/a lot more receptive to me (depends on the person of course) and my exchanges didn't feel as one sided anymore. It's not perfect but it's better than before. Good luck!

This is a pretty good book specifically for INTPs who wan to work on personal development. I'm not 100% done with it, but it is definitely worth reading.

Sorry, I dunno what you are after.

If you meant, which is better, I dunno I just read the first book but maybe you can get an idea by seeing Amazon readers reviews:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00H7NWLJ6/#customerReviews

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LZU843T/#customerReviews

If you meant why not get the bundle, I think it is a good idea but because the single book is cheaper.

https://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294

This is a really great book on the subject.

> I don't want to be a hothead spaz but I also don't want to be a pussy.

Do you think it's time for 'No More Mr Nice Guy', by Robert A. Glove? What do you say?

Yeah. I discovered the INTP book a couple of days ago: http://www.amazon.com/INTP-Personality-Careers-Relationships-Meaning-ebook/dp/B00H7NWLJ6

It shocked me right out of my "Unique Little Snowflake" self-expectations. Down to "After a lot of thoughts, INTP usually become popularizers" - which I did. Oops, there go all my internal struggles, just to end up where the book predicts.

So, don't read the book if you have a sense of self. On the other hand, maybe do read it. It may help as it also talks about the dark sides of INTPs.

Read this book and you will get a great introduction to a) MBTI as a system and b) how our minds work and its relationship to behavior patterns/preferences.

Read this book: http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0345472322

It's the most important book I've ever read and I wish I had read it sooner.

I would highly recommend reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover:

http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

> I also bought a book on body language

Is it this one? Many people have recommended me to read it, do you think it's worth it?

First, I definitely empathize with your experience! I'm insufferably verbose, though I like to think I'm more clear than I used to be. Honestly, what helped me the most was receiving manuscript revisions over the years from an advisor who is superb at concise writing. If this is a college assignment, you could check out writing centers on campus. (They may or may not be helpful - if they are helpful though, you'll be glad you went!) If you want, I could also have a go at your first two paragraphs, as an example of how they could be written more concisely.

I strongly recommend Strunk and White's "The Elements of Style"(now on it's fourth edition). It is a concise 85 page book packed with tons of great and entertaining writing advice. The author concisely states various principles, and then gives examples. (Both of the poorly written, and of the improved and re-written version.) I'll quote one bit I found useful so you get a taste for it:

>Omit needless words.
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short, or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

>Many expressions in common use violate this principle.
[He lists several contrasting examples, such as 'this is a subject that' vs. 'this subject'; 'there is no doubt but that' vs. 'no doubt' or 'doubtless'.]

>The fact that is an especially debilitating expression. It should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs.
[Again examples, such as 'the fact that he had not succeeded' vs. 'his failure'; 'call your attention to the fact that' vs. 'remind you' or 'notify you'.]

I'll conclude by saying that another quick tip is to see how many of your longer sentences you can split into two. A few long sentences aren't bad, but it does ask the reader to remember a lot. This is especially true for individuals who don't think like we do, who are unfamiliar with the material, or who have more limited working memory. When I first started this, I felt like my writing was clipped (like how I might talk if I were really angry and had no patience left). However, you get used to it! Hope that helps!

There's a difference between being "smart" and gaining knowledge and skills, as you seem to be hinting at.

A highly-recommended book on this topic is Mindset by Carol Dweck.

If the ebook you're referring to is INTP by A.J. Drenth, I highly recommend that one. It's extensive and well-written, and I sense a lot of personal understanding behind the content given the Drenth himself is an INTP.

If you're interested in this subject, I cannot recommend reading "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Israeli psychologist Daniel Kahneman enough. It is a very informative yet not overly technical summary of his over 30-year-long research on cognitive biases and the mechanisms of our decision-making processes.

Mindset by Carol Dweck

https://www.amazon.com/INTP-Personality-Careers-Relationships-Meaning-ebook/dp/B00H7NWLJ6

Carol S. Dweck, here's a link! https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322

You should read this.