Best products from r/IncelTears

We found 27 comments on r/IncelTears discussing the most recommended products. We ran sentiment analysis on each of these comments to determine how redditors feel about different products. We found 84 products and ranked them based on the amount of positive reactions they received. Here are the top 20.

6. Jordanetics: A Journey Into the Mind of Humanity's Greatest Thinker

    Features:
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Jordanetics: A Journey Into the Mind of Humanity's Greatest Thinker
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Top comments mentioning products on r/IncelTears:

u/The_Sloth_Racer · -1 pointsr/IncelTears

Get rid of the leather jacket, you're not Fonzi and this isn't the 1950s. I have only ever met one guy that could pull off a leather jacket and he was an actual bad ass, attractive, and in shape and he wore it because he drove a motorcycle so he could pull it off. If you don't drive a motorcycle and you're not jacked, you should avoid leather jackets.

Exercise: Exercise daily. You can't change your face but I've seen plenty of dudes with busted faces get women because they're in shape. If you're really out of shape or overweight, just start out small like walking a half mile a day and working your way up until you start going to a gym to build strength. Not only will exercise make you look better, it will make you feel better both physically and mentally as well. Everyone should be exercising at least 30 minutes per day.

Clothing: Get clothes that fit well, not too baggy or too tight. Nice jeans or khaki pants and a polo shirt or collared T-shirt and you can't go wrong. Don't wear clothes/shirts with graphics or text, you're not a teen. Don't wear ratty/dirty clothes or shoes or anything with holes. You can't go wrong with a pair of white Nike, Adidas, or DC shoes as they match everything. Always try to match if possible. Wear different colors all the time. Don't get stuck wearing the same color or just dark colors. Don't keep wearing the same outfit, get enough for a week or more. Check out Kohl's and buy when they have a 30% off sale (which happens pretty frequently) and you can get some pretty good deals.

Hair: Get a nice haircut and keep it cut every month or so. Take care of your hair however you want to wear it. Short hair is usually better on guys than long hair. Only have long hair if you're going to take care of it. I've seen guys that had long hair and could have made it decent but never even trimmed it and just had it in a ponytail or hanging down all frizzy and crazy and that just looks awful. Guys can look great with long hair but it depends on the guy and they have to take care of their hair for it to look good, so shorter hair is usually much better/easier for guys. If you don't know what kind of hairstyle you should have, ask your barber/hair stylist or wherever you get your hair cut and they can help you.

Hygiene: Take care of your body. Bathe daily or twice a day in the summer, and use a good smelling body wash, good antiperspirant, and a light cologne. Wash and use facial moistuizer on your face every morning and every night before bed. Cool Waters by Davidoff is a cheap cologne that's been popular for a long time, just don't overdo it. Avoid Axe products as they signal a creep. Old Spice has some great body washes like Hydro Wash Pure Sport. The Old Spice Hydro Wash body washes have moisturizers built in so it's even better for your skin than the regular body wash and it smells amazing. Use a moisturizing cream on your body and a good facial moisturizer. CeraVe makes some good unscented moisturizers like the CeraVe Daily Moisturizing Lotion for your body and CeraVe AM Facial Moisturizing Lotion with Sunscreen for your face. Always apply moisturizer/cream as soon as you get out of the shower because that's when your pores are open and it will absorb better. If you have acne, wash your face twice a day with a 5-10% benzoyl peroxide wash like Oxy Maximum Action Face Wash or Clean & Clear Continuous Control Acne Cleanser and use a facial moisturizer with salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide like Clean & Clear Dual Action Moisturizer. If you shave, do it daily and use a good razor like the Gillette Fusion5. If you have facial hair, keep it trimmed, don't let it go crazy and make sure to use hair oil to keep it nice. Use a good antiperspirant and apply it twice a day. Brush your teeth, floss, and use an alcohol-free mouthwash like Crest Pro-Health. Alcoholic mouthwashes can make your breath worse because they dry out your mouth.

Hobbies: Have your own hobbies and interests and please don't say "anime." The second I see a guy that has anime as an interest, I think of a creep. There are women who like anime but many will find it creepy.

Clubs: Are you in any clubs or groups? Join clubs and groups and get out there to meet people. Volunteer in your community. Make friends with women and don't see them just as sex objects but actual friends. Do you like animals? I've volunteered at an animal shelter for years now and it's 99% women. The few guys I've seen get a LOT of attention.

Education/Career: Have a college degree or trade that will allow you to have a decent paying career. Women want someone that can be independent and take care of themselves, not a child. If you don't currently have a job or a degree, it's never too late to start. You can always start at any community college and transfer to a 4-year college after, especially if money is an issue.

Independence: Live on your own and take care of yourself. Pay your bills and build your credit. No adult woman wants to hang out at your parents' house all the time.

Talking points: What do you like to talk about? Have things to talk about that don't include politics, religion, or money. Those topics will make people run.

I think I covered everything. I'm a female so if you have any questions or want to talk, PM me or comment on here. Anything else?

u/RudyFinger · 2 pointsr/IncelTears

Some basic recommendations:

https://www.amazon.com/Definitive-Book-Body-Language-Expressions/dp/0553804723/ref=cm_cr_srp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

https://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ll1&linkId=bd2c9af18031113249e398f82105631e&tag=mysoccom-20

Understanding body language is extremely important. Being able to read other people will give you a tremendous advantage in communication. It can also help you to police your own body language so you're not doing stuff that puts people off, and also so that you communicate in ways that makes them feel comfortable.

As for direct communication... Honestly, I learned most of that from a very good teacher of speech (as in, giving speeches) and from a friend who is quite ugly but does extremely well with women. Self-perception is a lot more important than people think. How you perceive yourself translates into you how present yourself. That takes more work, of course, but knowing this is a good place to start with that.

I also got a great deal from a book on emotional intelligence, but I can't remember what it was called and it was a library loan, so I don't even have it on my bookself to look it up. But I'd say look for books on that topic, as well. I did a quick look and found this one is highly recommended:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0974320625/ref=sspa_dk_detail_1?psc=1

As for websites, there's a lot out there. I'd just Google and see what strikes your fancy.

Good luck with it. In my personal estimation, the body language was the single most helpful thing I've studied. I use it constantly now, and it's just second nature to "read" people.

u/liltingsea · 13 pointsr/IncelTears

I’m so, so glad for you. I know what it’s like to shrink the world down to a tiny, bleak, manageable place and it is so awful to be there and not know how to get out. Or even if there is an out.

Honestly, the main reason I browse this sub is because I see a lot of people in a lot of pain, without the internal or external resources to get help. Sure, there are the psycho shitheads, but most are just in a pit and only have anger and self-loathing for company.

It sounds like you have a lot of negative thoughts around women that you can’t shake yet. One really great resource for that is CBT, which you can do on your own. There’s a book called The Feeling Good Handbook which helped me out a ton. You have my full permission to roll your eyes at the incredibly dorky cover image and his goofy stories, but the exercises and the vocabulary were incredibly helpful. The only thing I don’t love about it is he’s somewhat discouraging about meds.

The other one I’ve had recommended to me by several professionals which I haven’t read yet but mean to is The Upward Spiral

The other other online resource I can recommend is this dating advice site geared towards guys. There’s a lot of good advice on building confidence and how to make conversation, and the author thinks women are people.

Also, just watch some women-made stuff: movies, TV, blogs, etc. It’s easy to think of us as an exotic species but we’re just people. Stuff like that can help humanize and make it easier to empathize with us.

Speaking of meds, I didn’t get a good sense of whether you struggle with anxiety or depression. If you do, you can go to a regular ol doctor and talk with them about it. They can prescribe basic stuff that will work for most folks. Meds won’t change you or fix your problems or forcibly make you happy. They will make that spike of fear less and lift a lot of the crushing weight of anxiety/depression.

If your doctor doesn’t take you seriously, find a better fucking doctor.

Therapy is great but it can take a while to find somebody that clicks that you can also afford. I highly recommend it if you can, and also be persistent and don’t settle. There’s a lot of terrible therapists out there and a lot of amazing ones.

u/[deleted] · 5 pointsr/IncelTears

Dating apps and websites. Joining social hobbies (that you would like to try regardless), school, parties. Some see an interesting girl out in the public and ask her out. As you are starting, reading dating books gives you more social acuity and confidence as you start to understand the factors that are involved in attraction. I'd recommend "Models" from Mark Manson, the first chapter goes pretty deep into importance of looks and comes to a conclusion (indicated by studies done in social psychology) that looks have less impact in attraction from women to men than few other qualities (like confidence and status, or even just potential for status) that can be self-cultivated. You can find it as a free online PDF here, try the Part 1 of the book and see if you could benefit from it.

u/DarthZontag · 1 pointr/IncelTears

For a good intro from the very basics in video format check this out

The guy that runs the channel has a website where you can get more info and study materials if you want as well. He is more on the reformed side and not conversion focused, rather education focused so it's a good starting place.

In book form there are these two which are excellent starting points:

Introduction to the Talmud and Midrash

Everyman's Talmud: The Major Teachings of the Rabbinic Sages

However as you go through this journey you will run into a lot of Judaic concepts, words and meanings. The best place to get the core canonized understandings of these IMO is Chabad’s Q&A section.
One thing to keep in mind when accessing info from Chabad is that they are very conversion focused and very conservative. Telling someone to learn about Judaism from Chabad is like telling someone to go talk to the Vatican to learn about Christianity, keep that in mind.

Once you get comfortable with the basics and core concepts I wholeheartedly encourage you to explore other expressions of Judaism as in addition to Hasidics (Chabad, etc…), there are conservatives (think Ben Shapiro) and reformed Judaism with there own interpretations. Then there is messianic Vs. non messianic schools so enough rabbit holes for a few lifetimes 😊

u/BrusqueWillis · 7 pointsr/IncelTears

>no one tried to tell my that my thinking is wrong

It's a difficult task, because the way our brains work makes personal experience supersede external information that contradict it, even when scientifically, objectively, our experience is... not "wrong" per se, but so incomplete that it veers into "wrong" teritory. I teach people how to get along with people, which is mainly applied psichology and neurology (specifically social neurology), so I come against this feature (it's not a bug, it's a feature) every time. For reference: Daniel Kahnemann's work. For reference: Chris Niebauer's book.

Your brain dupes you (it meakes you wrong, giving you the impression you're right) in several key areas relevant to our discussion here:

  1. What You See Is All There Is: our brains operate on the assupmtion they have all the info needed to make good decisions and reach true conclusions, neglecting that there are swathes of information that might be / are relevant and that finally change the outlook completely.
  2. Our Left-Brain Intepreter has the task to keep the story in our heads logically consistent, not correct. As such, it will gladly add to reality, or substract from it, only to keep the story. Please see this and this.
  3. To accomplish this task, the LBI resorts to cognitive biases like overgeneralization, personalization, confirmation bias etc.
  4. Its work is so powerful and so well hidden from conscience that most people, when confronted with science, will readily deny science ("well, that might be true but not for me") than accepting our thinking might be flawed.

    In your case, in order to examine what biases are in play and what is their result, I'd start questioning the hidden meaning of your use of notions like "chad", "betabux" and such. It speaks to overgeneralization (with a heavy serving of dehumanization) and confirmation bias.

    Humans are unique. There are, of course, trends (sociology doesn't exist for nothing) but so far no human being looks and act exactly like another human being always and in all aspects; more, humans change over time: experience, opinions, world views and behavior shift as time passes. That would be the first step I'd take if I were you: stop working with archetypes and start looking for tiny differences. The world will get extremely rich if you do that.

    TL;DR: you're wrong, but your brains won't let you see that and you have to voluntarily challenge it to improve your life quality.

    Edited to add: and I didn't even touch the issue of cultural and social norms and conditioning, learned helplesness and many other phenomena that interfere and change all the stuff above.
u/ThinkingSideways0 · 1 pointr/IncelTears

Well, this may be more niche, but drnerdlove.com helped me with a bunch of mental hurdles.

https://www.amazon.com/What-Women-Want-Tucker-Max/dp/0316375330?SubscriptionId=AKIAILSHYYTFIVPWUY6Q&tag=duckduckgo-d-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=0316375330

This guy was on the Joe Rogan podcast not too long ago, and he mentioned this book. The doctor definitely impressed me, and the premise for this book would be something I would have snapped up back in my formative years. There's plenty of books of a similar type as well.

Honestly, if you were to ask me your appearance is completely fine, but you are pretty young and inexperienced. Fortunately, it just means you have a lot to gain from resources like these.

One thing that does have me worried is your negative perspective towards your appearance. I've had similar issues, and I've reconciled it with a type of body dysmorphia. Is it possible you can have something similar?

u/thatsnotgneiss · 1 pointr/IncelTears

You have received some great advice, but I wanted to add two things that helped me overcome the agoraphobia I developed about 5 years ago.

  • My therapist had me work through two books: Anxiety and Depression Workbook for Dummies and Unlocking the Secrets of Self Esteem. Both books were invaluable to my recovery.
  • What do you enjoy doing? Start looking for other people who also enjoy that activity. It is a million times easier to be social when you have something in common. In my case, I went to a local knitting group, and it was great to know I already had something in common with these people. If nothing else, I could talk yarn stores and fancy knitting needles. If you aren't sure, check out something like a local gaming store that has events. Gamers tend to have a large tolerance for those who are socially challenged.
u/Sunnyyyyy · 4 pointsr/IncelTears

Hi, nice initiative and thanks for your time. I'd like to know if I use the right products and if I'm doing everything properly.


Using this mapping for reference.

Always have acne around 5 & 9, mild acne at 1 & 2. During breakouts also between 4 - 6 and 10 - 8 and the acne at 1 & 2 gets a bit more noticeable. Acne nowhere else on my body. Acne in general is not that severe in my opinion. But that's just my opinion. :)

Male Indian generally dry/combined skin, have had Acne since the age of 16, currently 22. After the shower my skin screams for moisturizing, which is why I believe I have dry skin. I shower twice a day normal temperature, sometimes cold showers, and I avoid getting my face wet under the shower.

Diet: Eat pretty much anything. Generally healthy things tho, also go to the gym 5 days a week. Like every other Asian family: Rice + meat + veggies lol.

This is my skincare routine:

  1. Cleanse everyday twice.
  2. Exfoliate twice a week on seperate days, Wednesday and Friday.
  3. Mask once a week, Sunday
  4. Apply toner
  5. Apply moisturizing serum
  6. Apply Eye moisturizer
  7. Apply moisturizing creme
  8. Apply moisturizing oil
  9. Apply sunscreen
  10. Apply primer/foundation/concealer/powder.

  11. Use an ointment my general practitioner prescribed, it's called: "Differin Gel". I use this everyday before I go to sleep.

    By the way if you know anything about make-up, which I assume you do. I have very dark under eye circles, any way to make it the same tone as my face skin color? It's the thing that annoys me the most, and the women in the make-up shop never take me seriously when I ask for advice lol.
u/PracticalProgress4 · 3 pointsr/IncelTears

Yeah, I think I do have a dysmorphia. I want to try to treat this myself before going through some kind of therapy though, and I think that's mostly because I don't have any health insurance and don't really have any experience with therapy.

Thinking about reading this,

https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Mirror-Understanding-Treating-Dysmorphic/dp/0195167198/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1526973118&sr=8-2&keywords=bdd

might help me. Thanks for the input.

u/op3rav3ctra · 1 pointr/IncelTears

The DBT book mentioned below is a good one. I'd note that it's a LOT of different exercises so it may seem kind of overwhelming at first, so maybe just try some and focus on a couple that work for you. Not everything will work for everyone, but do try to practice and experiment and I think you'll make some progress. I find many of the mindfulness techniques helpful in bringing the focus to the present moment, instead of worrying about what may happen in future or feeling sadness and regret about bad experiences in the past.

For CBT, I always recommend The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. Robert Burns. Basically what it helps you do is to reframe your thinking, identify distortions in your thoughts, and allow you to kind of 'talk back' to your negative thoughts. I recommend the handbook because it really helps to put pen to paper and go through the steps in the book.

With both these books, you'll get out of them what you put in. If you just sit and passively read it, you won't get much out of it. But if you really WANT to change and try to follow through with what it says, I think you will see improvements.

u/myLifeAsThrowaway · 1 pointr/IncelTears

>As someone who has worked in research in the past

Sure, carrying a clipboard and harassing people in front of Costco gives you real authority on the matter. Here's a book by the same people that did the study. Since you're "in the biz" maybe it'll be interesting to you.

>Also, you may be any level of ugly, unless you are actually disfigured, there will be people interested on you as long as you have an interesting personality - it doesn't matter how much you say the opposite.

Well funny how I haven't found any of them. Must be my shitty personality, eh? Here's my OkCupid inbox from a few years back where I've used some normie's photos instead of my own, and my original (and rather long) profile content. I also tried the same profile content with my own pics, and hardy got any messages (and those that I did get were not friendly or flirty). Conclusion: F A C E

>first, it is because of society, then I show it's not

You didn't show me shit, you just said what you believe with nothing to support it.

>it's because men are not picky, then I show it's not true

You didn't show me shit, you just said what you believe about yourself.

>then it's because I don't flirt with women, then I show I do

My experience in flirting with women outpaces yours quite a bit. It's just that you don't have the kind of face that repulses people.

>then you know women better than they know themselves, and you know more about flirting than anyone else

I'm an authority on how women react to me. Unless they can detect my horrible personality with their sixth sense (that somehow fails to detect hooking up with an abuser), then they are completely and identically uninterested in me whether I flirt or not and whether I talk or not. Conclusion: F A C E

>And the reason for all of that? Because you cannot accept, not even for 1 second, that maybe, just maybe, your personality and behavior play a role in how people react to you too, and you could spend sometime working on yours just like you've spent 13 years in a gym.

Sure, I accept my personality is (or has become) shitty too, but is it so shitty that no one's ever loved me and it's just a coincidence that my face is ugly? Funny how that works. And funny how a shitty personality is not a barrier for good looking people to get in a relationship.

>I have no time for this victim mentality man, nor does anyone else. Have a good night.

Homophobia: doesn't exist.

Racism: doesn't exist.

Sexism: doesn't exist.

Any person who's being discriminated against should work on their personality instead.

u/utopista114 · 1 pointr/IncelTears

N por the OKCupid studies was in the hundreds of thousands. The guy running the studies is a freak of statistics. Granted, is still slanted by people in online dating, but the N is so big that you can make conclusions at least about internet-based dating (which is very popular in many countries, nowadays the most common way to meet people).

His book: https://www.amazon.com/Dataclysm-Identity-What-Online-Offline-Selves/dp/0385347391

u/inquirer · -2 pointsr/IncelTears

Easy.