Best products from r/LongDistance

My fiance and I enjoy writing and receiving hand-written letters, but I agree that sometimes it is hard to come up with things to write! I'm not exactly the most creative writer, so I did a little research online for ideas to get my creative juices flowing.


For this past Valentine's Day I wanted to give him something special and personalized, so I printed out [these "Open When" letter] (http://www.thedatingdivas.com/holidays/valentines-day/open-when-letters/) envelope templates on some sticker paper, bought a pack of plain cards and envelopes from the craft store, and then wrote about 10 different letters about something related to the different themes listed. For some of the letters, I included small gifts that would fit inside of the envelopes, like photos or cute printouts. For example, for the "Open when you miss me" letter I got one of our pictures together printed on a magnet (through Shutterfly) and included it with a note I wrote. For the "Open when you can't sleep" letter I included a few bags of chamomile tea. A lot of people out there are much more creative than me and have fashioned their own envelope designs, but the template was perfect for me because design is not my forte.



Also useful for you might be [101 Open When Letter Topics] (http://www.ldrmagazine.com/blog/2014/01/29/101-open-letter-topics/) and 52 Free Love Note Writing Prompts from LDR Magazine, which list a lot of ideas for letters! They also have a great section of downloadable freebie printables, perfect for people in long distance relationships.


My absolute favorite gift that I've gotten from my fiance (besides my gorgeous engagement ring), was this What I Love About You book. What's neat is it is filled with 50 short sentences/promts, that you customize by filling in your own answers. It was so sweet to read through all the nice things my fiance wrote about us and our future- I keep it by my bed to read when I miss him or am feeling down. The prompts are helpful because they allow room for creativity and personalization, without you having to do all the creative work but the result is still a super thoughtful gift.

This is so perfectly normal - we joked for weeks before we met about the awkward sex we were going to have when we finally were in the same state, and neither of us were virgins. Most of the time we have brilliant sex now, but every now and then, even living together and being physically intimate with delightful regularity, we just don't connect, and that's ok. I do second the advice to talk about what you like and don't, and, as fundamentally lacking as I always found "Skype sex" to be, I think that it does help with communication about sex, since you have to talk about it.

(This bit, you clearly know already, but maybe hearing it would help your boyfriend.) As for orgasming, soon or late, I'm 37 years old, I've been engaged, I've had several serious long term relationships, and several... less serious, and my sex life with my current boyfriend is the best I've ever had. And I don't orgasm during sex more than every third time. Some of the sex we have where I DON'T is actually the more emotionally profound, and every bit as satisfying for me. I don't like it when sex becomes goal oriented, if you know what I mean, and it's not like we're keeping score. We're enjoying each other, and our connection, and it sounds like, even with the first-time fumbles (which everyone does, seriously) that's exactly what you were doing.

I would recommend highly a book called The Guide to Getting it On. (http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Getting-Book-About-Wonders/dp/1885535759/ref=dp_ob_title_bk) It's funny and detailed and (sort of surprisingly for the genre) a straight good read, and it says a lot of smart things about first time jitters, and sexual priorities, and it can be a really excellent tool for opening communication about sex and what you want from it. Get the ebook version and read it together, if you like, it might be reassuring for him and fun for you both. Ultimately, just like anything else with a LDR (or any relationship), communication is key!

If there's anything I can do for you, feel free to PM!

I do modeling, and sometimes we are allowed to keep what we model, but not too often. I sent my boyfriend pictures of a really cute but really expensive outfit I modeled, and he apparently loved it, because on our first-meeting visit, he surprised me by buying it for me before he left! Best gift ever! He’s also gotten me really pretty shoes and jewelry. But nothing beats that first gift because it was an amazingly sweet gesture.

I have gotten him a nice watch and some cool sneakers, and a few other things here and there. He isn’t really into having a lot of stuff. Christmas is fast approaching though, and his birthday is pretty soon after that, so I’m thinking about a nice wallet, a FanChest for the Minnesota Vikings (his favorite team), and maybe another nice accessory. Time will tell what I settle on...

On the other hand, if you both live in the US and in different states, these candles seems like a really cute idea, I’ve been considering those!

Hmm. It depends on your GF's interests, but my suggestion would be to get her something that she'll see/use on a daily basis. For example, my BF sent me a commitment-type ring (nothing too expensive, but something I can wear that reminds me he cares) and a journal since journaling is a hobby of mine. He's also given me stuffed animals, figures from an anime I like, and a shirt that smells like his body spray (kinda weird I know, but it's comforting). If a bracelet like the one you mentioned existed (don't think it does, sadly) I'd love one of those. Since she's going to school, other things like a really nice pen or a lanyard and holder for her student ID (I'm assuming college) are a good idea. That last one would be really nice, since she'd probably use it daily. This is the kind of thing I use, and I like it a lot ( https://www.amazon.com/Yeeasy-Holder-Lanyard-Leather-Wallet/dp/B0769C4CZY/ref=sr_1_40?keywords=lanyard+card+holder&qid=1565211636&s=gateway&sr=8-40 ).

If you're more of a DIY person, you could make her a bracelet or necklace (you can get supplies for these from most arts and craft stores), or customize a box for her. This is something I like to do for my BF. Instead of sending him things in a cardboard box, I'll get a wood box from an arts store and paint it his favorite colors using acrylic paint. Other one-off ideas I can think of are:

*Photo album with commentary (remember when...)

*A collection of "open when" letters. (You can find a bunch of examples on google. Just look up "open when letters.")

• Make a personal design for a shirt and get it off a site like Zazzle or Redbubble
  
• If she's a type-A kind of person, maybe get her a planner for the upcoming year and customize it for her. (Stickers, writing messages on pages, little inside jokes, quotes, uplifting messages, etc.)
  
• If you're feeling more confident, get a ticket/plan to visit and give her the proof of purchase/plan as a gift
  
  This is all I can name off the top of my head. Hope some of these help! :)

My girlfriend (of eight months) is at Basic right now. Then she has advanced training. Then she has airborne training. Meanwhile I'm graduating from college and moving across the country. We're dedicated to each other though. We see life as an adventure and while it may be difficult for a time we'll get through it together as partners.

Your college classes will keep you busy. Finding a Summer job (or taking classes) will keep you busy. Spending time with friends will keep you busy. Just make sure you talk with him about how much time he expects from you. It's not healthy to wait around all day for each other. It's also not healthy to feel ignored. Communication is vital in all relationships but especially so in long distance ones because many of the nonverbal cues are missing.

One of the biggest hurdles will be the time zone difference. While he's in Korea he'll be between 13 and 16 hours ahead of you (assuming you aren't in Alaska or Hawaii). You can still do things to feel close to one another. Reading the same books or watching the same TV shows are things you can work through and talk about without necessarily doing them at the same time of day. If you want to talk on the phone or Skype or whatever it'll be early morning for one of you and late at night for the other.

I'll also recommend a book: The 5 Love Languages Military Edition. It was highly recommended to me despite being unmarried, nonreligious, and relatively new to the military SO life. The gist of it is that people feel love most strongly in one of five ways. By learning the specific way that your SO feels love you can really improve/strengthen a relationship (because what makes YOU feel loved doesn't necessarily make HIM feel loved). The military edition has a lot of testimony from military couples and gives tips for dealing with deployments and whatnot.

/r/usmilitarySO has been really helpful and supportive and informative (just all around great really) so feel free to introduce yourself over there as well :)

Hey there! Boyfriend and I have an 8-hour time difference so I totally sympathize.

There's a game we like to play that I've mentioned on here in the past. It's not the same thing necessarily as spending time together, but you have to get creative in LDRs and having lively discussion is how I feel close to my boyfriend.

We take it in turns to ask each other three questions each day. The first question is something you could ask anyone. The second question is more personal. The third question is highly personal; for us it usually relates to sex (gotta keep that spark, lol).

So for example, when it's his turn to ask, he'll send me his questions and I'll answer them, and then he'll answer them, too. The next day, I'll come up with questions that he'll answer, and then I'll answer them. It's fun coming up with questions, it's fun to answer them, and it's fun and sometimes surprising to hear each other's answers.

Some example questions:

1: What's the first thing you'd buy if you won a ton of money?

2: What's the most pseudoscientific thing you genuinely believe is real?

3: What's something that many people see as sexy, that you're turned off by?

If you or anyone else decides to try it out, I hope you have fun with it! If you have trouble thinking of questions you could probably try doing a search for conversation starters or ice-breaking questions. There are also a lot of great question books out there; my favorite is The Complete Book of Questions because it offers a range of depth.

Alright I uploaded some pictures on Imgur to get you started!

Album is here

Quick tip: I'm using a middle size cloth, there are different sizes to buy on the store , you can have small sizes which itself will affect the size of your cross stitch. The smaller they are, the smaller size you'll get. The brown lines you see by the top is a guideline for the stitching: each line is 10 squares, on some patterns you find there's going to be a square, the square will almost always be 10 squares big.

You'll usually find cross stitching everywhere on Pinterest which to me has been great! If I for example end up on a site for the alphabet in cross stitching I found that there are so many different and beautiful letters you can stitch as well, so I added an example of the K I'm going to stitch underneath. There are also a lot of different edges which can be simple, or complex, just remember to use the 10 square system for the patterns to see how big of a size it'll be for your bag!

When you get cross stitching yarn, you'll notice that they are very thick while mine is not. That's because I split the yarn into having 3 strands when I stitch (they usually come in 6 strands so it's just split in half) while the outline I have on this key is just one whole piece of the yarn.

The process of stitching can be very long if you plan on stitching a cross every time so I have a little video that I would recommend you to watch once you get used to the stitching, it'll really come in handy for bigger pieces like this : youtube

As you may notice, the color I'm using is different to the key on the pattern, but that's also what makes mine feel a little more unique than going fully for the pattern itself. I inherited a lot from my grandma when it comes to colors and needles, but I'll advice that if you get the tiny squares, get a smaller needle BUT not too small because it depends on how you are going to deal with the thread, the more strands of thread the bigger hole you need for the needle and usually the smaller ones would only allow you to fit 2 strands.

I DO recommend you check amazon or any kind of site that sells the threads in a rainbow set (something like this )because you do need to use a lot of different colors when it comes to stitching, and there are some sellers that will sell you a frame as well in the price (I'd say about 10-15 dollars which might sound a lot but usually you get ALOT of colored thread to that price.

Now here comes the creative tips that some people would love or hate:

You don't have to be "traditional" when it comes to these kinds of hobbies, especially if you're aiming to satisfy a gamer for example.
There are so many different designs in the gaming section to do!
Pixel art! You can take any pixel art you find and create it depending if you have he colors. You can make pokemon for example. The pokemon index on the web is one of the things you can look for and make all of them. Then there are final fantasy summons and bosses
If none of that inspires you, there are character creators on the net to make your own pixel character as well.
I'd also recommend cross stitching softwares that can turn images into cross stitching where they usually tells you the colors you need and the size you need.
I highly recommend checking the cross stitch community on Reddit as well.

I hope this inspired you.

This might sound harsh, but he is probably a little too comfortable and lazy. Or maybe he is just taking the whole situation for granted. "Oh I don't have to talk, since she will do the talking". Sorry honey, it goes both ways.

But! There's always a solution for everything. Have you both sent care packages recently? Maybe add this (found this on amazon) http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/098199461X?pc_redir=1397674301&robot_redir=1

It's a card game for ice breaking at a party and stuff. Send him one and you can both play! It may sound very basic, but there's no harm starting from the beginning. It's always interesting what new things you find out about each other.

(I recently found out my SO likes white chocolate and not dark. I've been with him for 5 years already! I felt really silly when I sent him 1kg of dark chocolate Tim Tams and he texted me saying "I heard they do white chocolate too".)

Try to start dating each other again. Let the sparks fly a little. Keep the communication channels open. I'm glad he took up the idea to call you! Encourage him. Sometimes if my SO forgets to call, I'll text him "I'm ready for your call, anytime now!"

Good luck!

I'm born and raised Los Angeles/Orange County, so it's a little weird at times. I hope you don't mind I kinda skimmed your comments really quick, but I see you're from Oakland. I feel that it would probably be a way bigger adjustment for you than me as far as the pace of life is concerned, southern CA is pretty relaxed in a lot of areas. And I've visited San Francisco/Oakland quite a few times as I have a lot of friends up there, and can see how you're feeling underwhelmed with it.

I remember a few days ago my SO and I went out and, like, went to Toys R Us, the comic book store, and a few other places and I said, "What now?" because I was having a nice day out with him, and he was like, "There's nothing else, really."

The lack of options of things to do is obviously a little foreign to me, so I noticed we're getting into some different hobbies together to enjoy our time at home like building Legos and watching TV series together and filling out this book and this book I brought. I probably spend more time inside here than I did while I was back in Orange County. I'm doing okay right now and I honestly think it can go either way over time - either I start working and get out more and feel more functioning and I'll make friends (maybe), or I actually will just end up being bored, I don't know yet. It's hard to tell!

This is the nature of an LDR. There's only so much that you can learn about one another and experience together from a distance. There are countless subjects, both major and minor, to discuss between yourselves about each other - politics, religion, ethics, morals, beliefs, convictions, goals, aspirations, passions, influences, childhoods, views on children/marriage/etc, lifestyle preferences, ideal relationship preferences on both a large and small scale (large scale meaning what type of relationship you desire long term, etc and small scale meaning day to day life once you close the distance, etc), fears, hopes, dreams, memories. That's not even an all inclusive list.

But once you have exhausted most of those topics, which takes some time in and of itself, and perhaps occasionally during while you're yet to decide what comes next on the discussion list, you are left with merely finding things in your day to day life to discuss.

To echo the other reply, do not feel weak or insecure for stating how much you'd rather just be together and whatnot. My partner and I do this every single day, regardless of how much actual random communication or activity goes on. What you call boring and mundane, I call wonderful, peaceful, relaxing. And so does he. As such, we spend our days watching videos or playing a game (or both). That's it. That's what we do. Watch videos, play games, talk about our days for a brief minute before beginning activities, and occasionally discuss Reddit threads or whatever else we find interesting or come up with to talk about. Sometimes we'll share music, or silly youtube videos, etc, but for the most part we've settled in to the life we'll lead permanently. Neither of us could be happier with that.

But each person is different. If you're seeking ideas for things to discuss, I'd like to point you to the following:

• The Book of Questions
  
  
• 1000 Questions for Couples
  
  
• 401 Great Discussion Questions for Couples in Long Distance Relationships
  
  As for the loneliness, it truthfully doesn't go away. I wish I could say it did. But that is the price we pay for having found a love so precious but so far away. Cherish having someone that makes you miss them so much. We'll appreciate each other all the more when we're finally together.

Step 1. find laptop.

Step 2. Check if it has windows.

Step 3. Buy Laptop.


Pretty much any laptop with windows will be able to use skype. (I'm thinking cheapest way)
I mean.. you can get a Mac for 700 more but that would be your prerogative.

/r/Suggestalaptop works too.
I can find one on amazon in a bit if you'd like.

Actually I can be more helpful.

Here is what is important in a Skype Machine.

1. Webcam. 2. Mac or Windows (Windows is Cheaper Mac has better battery, Linux if you want the challenge (go windows)) 3. Wireless card, 4 Screen, 5 Dual core or better processor.
   
   This is a good cheap choice
   
   Here is another with lower battery life
   
   Good luck!

It sounds like you probably have an Anxious attachment style, and unfortunately LDRs can be extremely difficult for people with that attachment style - so please be kind to yourself. You're not selfish or useless, and you're in a tough situation so your feelings are understandable. If you can afford it, I'd definitely recommend therapy. But if not, do your best to find some good friends who can support you. I've also found EFT tapping very useful for dealing with overwhelming feelings, so it might be worth trying as you can learn it online for free here: EFT tapping

I'd recommend checking out 'Attached' by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, as well as 'Insecure in Love' by Leslie Becker-Phelps.

I found this book helpful: Love Me, Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships

Another one specifically about jealousy is 'The Jealousy Cure' by Robert Leahy.

This article is also a good starting point: How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship

Make sure you've decorated the house in some special way - either a sign, or a paper decoration spelling her name, or lovely flowers. There are lots of little crafts.

Plan out your first few meals so you don't have to worry about shopping or planning the first few together (she'll probably be tired from traveling).

Have a few small things planned to do the first days, little things that might help you connect, like a picnic in a park, a few movies to watch, or something you can even make together (like a craft, those are great ice-breakers).

You might even want to buy one of those books that have conversation starters like the If... series or even a game.

All the best to you!

Here's a watch I ordered my boyfriend. It has two little clocks inside of it I'm going to set to our two time zones. I've also purchased a nice sketchbook I'm going to give him for Valentine's day. Each day of January I'm going to do a little comic and write him a note about how I feel that day/am thinking of him. It doesn't take me too long, since it's sort of my thing, but it shows that I've been thinking of him everyday.

My gifts tends to be references to things I know about him that other people don't or memories I hold dear that we made together. Little things. I thinking showing that you've listened and paid attention to the things that aren't obvious is what I find the most meaningful. Or sharing part of yourself, the things you really loved. Invite them into your world.

I have the Logitech C920, which is a really excellent 1080p webcam with great low-light performance. It used to cost an arm and leg, but I see it's now below 70 USD on Amazon.

Mic quality is very good as well. It has stereo mics, one on each side (used for natural audio and noise cancellation). It's also Skype certified and is (as far as I know) one of very few that actually work with 1080p over Skype.

I can't recommend it enough, especially now that the price has dropped so much since I got it!

http://www.amazon.com/Logitech-Webcam-Widescreen-Calling-Recording/dp/B006JH8T3S/ref=sr_1_1?s=pc&ie=UTF8&qid=1451697738&sr=1-1&keywords=logitech+c920

Here are some links for the product in the above comment for different countries:

Amazon Smile Link: Blue Yeti Pro condenser microphone


|Country|Link|Charity Links|
|:-----------|:------------|:------------|
|USA|smile.amazon.com|EFF|
|UK|www.amazon.co.uk|Macmillan|
|Spain|www.amazon.es||
|France|www.amazon.fr||
|Germany|www.amazon.de||
|Japan|www.amazon.co.jp||
|Canada|www.amazon.ca||
|Italy|www.amazon.it||




To help add charity links, please have a look at this thread.

This bot is currently in testing so let me know what you think by voting (or commenting). The thread for feature requests can be found here.

We are both using the Logitech C920s. And thank you very much! :)

So my boyfriend and I have been doing this since January 1st of this year, and it's been so fun for us. It give us something new to talk about everyday. Granted, some questions are dumb (in our opinion), but hey, we bond over that too. So here's the link to the one we're using. We're excited to do this for the next two years and some change. It did seem like a little much at first, but we're so used to it now. It doesn't take but a few minutes everyday! Here's the link to the one we've got.
https://www.amazon.com/Our-Day-3-Year-Journal-People/dp/0770436684/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1501005334&sr=1-1&keywords=3-Year+Journal+for+2+People

Get your internet checked! Have your internet providers come out to see if anythings wrong with your internet. My gal has over the top wiring to her house (telephone poles) and apparently the coax line that fed her house was patched with duct-tape and eventually water seeped in and it was destroying her internet connectivity.

Also make sure you are using high quality equipment. Personally, I use the Blue Yeti Pro condenser microphone for audio and a [Microsoft LifeCam Studio 1080p] (http://www.amazon.com/Microsoft-LifeCam-Studio-Webcam-Q2F-00013/dp/B0096KSBB0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397430677&sr=8-1&keywords=microsoft+hd+webcam) for video.

Also, ensure that you have enough bandwidth on both ends. I believe the recommended amount of speed for a decent audio/video call is 1 megabit per second for both upload and download speeds.

Hope this helps!

I bought both of us a couple of this book since how estimated time apart will be about 3 years. I write in my copy and she writes in hers. We're planning to exchange books when I visit in April. It'll be interesting to see how we've changed as the relationship continues.