(Part 2) Best products from r/MMFB

Also this book might go a long way towards explaining why your parents only love a certain "picture in their minds" of you - and not really you. Same for your brother.

(And don't be put off by the overly-sensationalist title... there's actually some pretty good wisdom in that book that could help. :)

You're probably not looking for a book, but The Power of Now was pretty life-changing. It opens up a whole new world, for a while after meditating and whatnot, it seemed like everything was glowing, alive, totally peaceful. The story is, most of your problems come from thinking too much. You have conversations in your head all day, playing both sides, criticizing and defending yourself. You imagine future events that make you feel better. stahp.

Friend, your problem is beautiful in just how clearly it highlights the workings of the healthy human mind! It catastrophizes; it draws inferences based on the smallest sample of data; it attacks, belittles, humiliates and hurts.

The beauty of it all is that there is something beneath all of this which is wise to the game! You only feel that you are a failure and you know that you are overreacting. You are not overreacting at all, of course; it is your mind that is doing that. The you is the something beneath it all that keeps its feet on the ground and looks at the evidence just as it is.

It is your mind that says that the letter writers who loved you don't really know me that well. Your mind can't understand that the you the letter writers loved is the real you. It would rather that you think that the real you is the failure, the weakling, the shy bashful wallflower. That way, your mind can send you off for military training and create a monster than can resist the vicissitudes of life. Your mind still thinks you are roaming a harsh, unforgiving savannah. Your you knows that this is no longer the case.

You say you just want to move past this...well, here's the thing. You already have moved past it. You sent the applications; you didn't get accepted. All that is now left are the memories and the emotions. The memories, as I'm sure you are aware, are just trace biochemicals. They are not even accurate. They are just a great big fat fiction. What is real? Right now. Look at right now and see how there is nothing here to hurt you; nothing here passing judgement on you (apart from the treacherous mind); nothing here that is going to fuck up your future. Just you (and a version of me). We both love you.

The summer internship thing is bollocks. It won't change your life for the better; it won't guarantee you a life of happiness and contentment. It'll just exploit your for a while, and spit you out the other end. All of that time, the shitty mind that torments you will eat you up and say that you taste disgusting. You know what you should do with the summer? LIVE. Discover the real you that is struggling beneath the miserable eye of the mind. Go on a meditation retreat; read about buddhist teachings; get hold of 10% Happier, read it cover to cover and then book yourself onto a vipassana retreat. Leave the summer internships for the future. The number one goal in your life should be finding out who you really are and discovering peace. After that, they will be queuing up around the block to recruit you...and if they aren't, you won't even care!

I think they’re just not giving you enough information.

Deal with it basically means: This event happened. It’s not going to change. Hoping won’t change it. Complaining won’t change it. The only thing we can do is move forward.

What happens instead is sometimes we get stuck in the past. Concerned about how something should have gone. Or what could have been if things were different.

You don’t have to “deal with it” if you don’t want to. You can continue to ignore the truth of reality and focus on the unchanging aspects of it. Or you can take a step forward.

Favorite anime having licensing issues? Find something else to entertain you in the meantime.

Prof takes too long to put up vital information? Ask a classmate. Google the info. Fail the assignment due to not having the info and take it up with the department head (scared to be assertive? Start small and build up the skill)

Worrying about the future/the planet/society? Start volunteering your time for issues you care about. Donate to charities. Start a blog.

Also read the book “a complaint free world.” https://www.amazon.com/Complaint-Free-World-Complaining-Enjoying/dp/0770436390

There are many good insights about accepting the world as it is and being productive with that insight. Friends and other supports can be helpful, but realize that doing what you’ve always done will get you the same you’ve always gotten.

I'm really sorry, that sounds so frustrating and dispiriting. You're very self-aware though to be examining your patterns. I just read a book that deconstructs habits and gives advice on how to restructure them so that you're not caught in a downward spiral. It's called The Power of Habit. That or something like that might help you battle your anxiety. Also, when my skin breaks out I put a baking soda paste on the blemishes. It works really well on my skin, and also my SO's who has a history of acne. Good luck with your new products, I've heard it takes a month for a big change to come about with skin care so don't get dispirited yet.

I'm so sorry. My grandfather had Alzheimer's in the last years of his life. It was rough seeing such a strong, intelligent man fade. I really appreciated the times where he would "spark" and we'd catch a glimpse of the man he was. My father got me this excellent book - http://www.amazon.com/Good-Man-Rediscovering-Sargent-Shriver/dp/1250031443 which helped me.

Enlist a friend or cousin's help in ending this. Your job is to avoid all contact after the breakup, let a cousin handle the details of getting addresses changed and whatnot. Get help in doing the details.

Don't spend forever planning your escape and never doing it. As I've said before, leave when everything appears fine. Leave on your terms, don't wait for some big drama. Leave simply because you know it's right to do so.

Also, read this book if you're still on the fence about leaving:

http://www.amazon.ca/Good-Leave-Stay-Step-Step/dp/0452275350

I'm not currently in a position to offer much advice, but i can recommend a book that helped me immensely during a similarly difficult time. The book is based on Buddhist philosophies when dealing with difficult times. I hope it can offer you the same peace that i found in it.


When Things Fall Apart

https://www.amazon.ca/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1570623449

Here's the workbook on Amazon. The accompanying book ("The Self Matters") isn't really necessary; when I used this workbook as a kid, I didn't even have the book and I still got a lot of great use out of it.

I don't usually post this publically, but since multiple people are interested, here's the link to the PDF.

I had back/upper neck pain from 18 to 26. I went to multiple physical therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors, and massage therapists. I was just like you - had X-rays and MRI's and doctors told me there was nothing physically wrong with me. This book was the best thing that helped me.

Give it a try, it's only $6 on Amazon.

I don't know how successful it is in the long run, meeting a life partner, but I've always taken a Taoist approach to relationships. When I say Taoist, I mean the sort of Taoism I gleamed from The Two of Pooh. It's a cute little book I read every couple years to remind me that there are so many things I can't control about the world, so many things that would make me unhappy if I spent my time thinking about them. To worry might even be counter-productive.

When it comes to my work-life, I'm terrible at taking this advice, but, with relationships, I figure that it's something I do to enjoy myself, something I do to feel close to people. Rather than worry about what will happen or whether or not she'll text me, I just tell her how I feel and leave it at that. If something happens between us, it does, great. If not, I'm not going to make things bettery by worrying or getting upset.

With this girl, you could've been overly-worried about the time limit, you could've been intimidated because she was "too hot for you" ... or something could've been going on in her head that got in the way. Maybe she doesn't really know what she wants our of a relationship or maybe she thought you were the one sending mixed signals. In any case, I think this is an experience you can learn from such that you'll be able to approach the next opportunity with more confidence. I might even contact this girl to apologize for anything I didn't feel right about and ask why things didn't work out. I've learned a lot about myself through the eyes of women with whom "it just didn't work out" and I think I've become a better person for it.

It's from this book: https://www.amazon.com/Defining-Decade-Your-Twenties-Matter/dp/0446561754/

Here is a book you should get written by a Harvard psycho-pharmacologist:

http://www.amazon.com/Prozac-Backlash-Overcoming-Antidepressants-Alternatives/dp/0743200624/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334269982&sr=8-1

> This is the third time this has happened in the past five yeas. The exact same procedure. And it will happen again.

Not necessarily. It depends on the chemistry between you. A man's chemistry especially changes when he becomes a father

http://www.amazon.com/The-Male-Brain-Louann-Brizendine/dp/0767927540

There are non-foaming toothpastes, for example https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000L425PI/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1492829864.

Take a break from all of this, spend a couple hours reading, and re-think failure. http://www.amazon.com/Whatever-You-Think-Opposite/dp/1591841216/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322866797&sr=8-1