From Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa:

"We experience glimpses of goodness all the time, but we often fail to acknowledge them. When we see a bright color, we are witnessing our own inherent goodness. When we hear a beautiful sound, we are hearing our own basic goodness. When we step out of the shower, we feel fresh and clean, and when we walk out of a stuffy room, we appreciate the sudden whiff of fresh air. These events may take a fraction of a second, but they are real experiences of goodness. They happen to us all the time, but usually we ignore them as mundane or purely coincidental. According to the Shambhala principles, however, it is worthwhile to recognize and take advantage of those moments, because they are revealing basic nonaggression and freshness in our lives—basic goodness.

Every human being has a basic nature of goodness, which is undiluted and unconfused. That goodness contains tremendous gentleness and appreciation. As human beings, we can make love. We can stroke someone with a gentle touch; we can kiss someone with gentle understanding. We can appreciate beauty. We can appreciate the best of this world. We can appreciate its vividness: the yellowness of yellow, the redness of red, the greenness of green, the purpleness of purple. Our experience is real. When yellow is yellow, can we say it is red, if we don’t like the yellowness of it? That would be contradicting reality. When we have sunshine, can we reject it and say that the sunshine is terrible? Can we really say that? When we have brilliant sunshine or wonderful snowfall, we appreciate it. And when we appreciate reality, it can actually work on us. We may have to get up in the morning after only a few hours’ sleep, but if we look out the window and see the sun shining, it can cheer us up. We can actually cure ourselves of depression if we recognize that the world we have is good.

It is not just an arbitrary idea that the world is good, but it is good because we can experience its goodness. We can experience our world as healthy and straightforward, direct and real, because our basic nature is to go along with the goodness of situations. The human potential for intelligence and dignity is attuned to experiencing the brilliance of the bright blue sky, the freshness of green fields, and the beauty of the trees and mountains. We have an actual connection to reality that can wake us up and make us feel basically, fundamentally good. Shambhala vision is tuning in to our ability to wake ourselves up and recognize that goodness can happen to us. In fact, it is happening already."

I would just like to add something. Here is a copy paste of a comment I made before:

============
The book/course for you depends on what side of meditation you are coming from, but if you really want to take meditation seriously and are determined to go by a systematic course, then I can give you the absolute best book to get: A Systematic Course in the Ancient Tantric Techniques of Yoga and Kriya. This book is by far the best course/instructions/information on yoga. There is nothing it does not cover. You can get a hundred different books on various yoga paths, such as raja yoga, bhakti yoga, hatha yoga, etc etc, but everything you can find right here. It will cover the Buddhism as well. You will learn everything you need to know, and it slowly but surely teaches everything in a precise order, little by little, gradually introducing more advance meditation techniques, including Kriya yoga. But yoga isn't just about meditation of course, it's about how to lead a balanced, fulfilling life.

The book is basically compiled with the intention that the teacher is right in front of you. You can go through one lesson a week, or one lesson biweekly or monthly; it's up to you.

And don't be put off by a couple strange things that seem so strange to westerners. For example, the very first lesson teaches Jala neti, a good preparation for meditation that involves cleaning the nostrils with water. Be your own judge; if you don't want to do something it says, don't. (Though I would personally recommend jala neti as it has amazing effects).

Hopefully this has been of some help to you and others. Take care.

Oh, and don't be put off by the price. The book has so much information that it really is all you need. If it is really what you are looking for, it's the best long-term investment you can make. There are two in my house just in case something happens to one of them =)
===============

Of course, as the author himself states, nothing can replace a live guru that can teach you. However, he (a realized disciple of the realized master Swami Sivananda) has specifically made this book and practice available because he says the time has come for it; the demand Kriya yoga is high, and not everyone is able to get it straight from a guru.

This book should only be an option for you if you are very serious into getting into Yoga and on the path to self-realization; it cannot be a half-hearted attempt. I know others who have gone through much of it and the results are great.

Good luck!

• Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana. Probably the best beginner's introduction to what mindfulness is, why it is important, and how to practice.
  
  
• [10 Percent Happier] (https://www.amazon.com/10-Happier-Self-Help-Actually-Works/dp/0062265423) by Dan Harris. More of a memoir than a how-to guide (he also has a new how-to guide called Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics), but I personally loved this book for its honesty about what mindfulness can and cannot do for you. It's also hilarious and entertaining, so it's usually the number one place I recommend people start if they are at all interested in meditation.
  
  
• Waking Up by Sam Harris--Although not explicitly about mindfulness, some excellent, realistic background information on the practice and what to expect.
  
  
• Lots of other great books out there, but a lot of this comes down to personal preference: Jack Kornfield, Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, Tara Brach, and Jon Kabat Zinn are all names to look into to see whose materials speak to you. Some of them put more emphasis on the Buddhist side, whereas the others are more science-based and interested in the mental health implications of the practice.
  

I agree to an extent. A section shortly after the "straight spine" section does advise against arching and advises to relax the posture if there is any pain or tension.

I think if the student reads the whole guide they'll get the right message. That being said, if I wrote it I would also use a phrase like "upright yet relaxed" or "erect yet relaxed".

I follow and I teach my students posture based on the lengthy guide to posture: http://www.amazon.com/Posture-Meditation-Will-Johnson/dp/1570622329

This guide also advocates an upright, yet relaxed posture (which is also backed by modern medical studies in ergonomics).

So, I agree with you - I wish the language was better in Young's guide (even though I think it is a pretty comprehensive guide to the sitting postures).

Unfortunately I don't have perfect materials and perfect guides to link. If I were to link another guide that had better language about having a relaxed spine then I'm sure that guide would have a different section with advice on another topic that you or I would disagree with.

On reddit I link the best resources I have available and try to keep it brief. People don't read instructions very thoroughly and often their own experience is the best teacher regardless.

Do you have any suggestions for a better posture guide to link? Thanks!

Better than book teaching is real live teaching, and lots of it, from a consistent and capable source. But sometimes we look for a go-between, something to tide us over until we find a good teaching situation.

There is a specific traditional practice for equanimity. All kinds of other practices tend to get at equanimity, because you need to put it into effect just to proceed in the practice: if you let things 'get to you' you can't attend well to the object and method of the meditation. So for example, sitting Zen will train equanimity, as well many other practices.

But there is a specific practice also, which is part of the Brahmaviharas, or "Divine Abidings". These are four aspects of original, awakened mind: Metta (Kindness or Warmheartedness), Karuna (Compassion), Mudita (Mutual Joy), and Upekkha (Equanimity). Because of the boundless nature of original mind and the four noted aspects, these are also called "The Four Immeasurables".

The first three Brahmaviharas are about loving connection; but without the fourth, equanimity, they can spill over into sticky, entangled attachment. So Upekkha or equanimity is necessary for the correct function of love.

All the Brahmavihara practices have similar forms. You generate the quality, deepen its expression in you, and then extend it boundlessly. Styles vary a bit, but the general form is the same. You can try Brahmavihara practice to specifically nurture equanimity.

But as I say, most practices, and in fact a proper training situation itself, will also train equanimity.

Here is a talk and guided meditation on Upekkha.

This podcast comprises an entire afternoon or day retreat on Upekkha, condensed into a 3-hour recording (with silent practice periods edited out).

These two and several other Brahmavihara talks and meditations can be found on this page at Dharmaseed.org.

Here's an entire 2-day practice seminar on Upekkha, by the well respected teacher Gil Fronsdal.

Here's a short article with a couple of source excerpts.

~

Two great teachers who come to mind as directly addressing anger in their teachings are Thich Nhat Hanh and Pema Chodron.

Of course, there are many other great teachers; and if you find a live teacher and ask them to help you with anger, just the act of asking a living representative of Dharma is itself a very significant act. You establish a connection to Dharma and to your teacher and to your practice by taking concrete steps like this. It is the kind of action that sink down below the level of your habit and plants seeds that will eventually overtake the negative patterns, if you keep planting and taking care of the seeds.

See Thich Nhat Hanh's Anger: Wisdom For Cooling The Flames.

Here are a couple of articles in the same vein.

See Pema Chodron's Don't Bite The Hook: Finding Freedom From Anger, Resentment, And Other Destructive Emotions.

Here's an article that gives a little taste of her teaching.

~

I recommend choosing one path and sticking with it for a while. You can try this and that to get an idea of what's available out there, but very soon get down to actually doing it. People look around, around, around, and only confuse themselves. They think they are looking for the "best situation for me"; but really they are just avoiding the doing part.

You don't pick your path as if you're at a fruit stand looking over the selection with disdain: "Hmmm... I don't know... this one has a spot on it...." That's picking-and-choosing mind; and in fact, we are not capable of judging before we have significant experience.

Your path chooses you. Your path unfolds as you do it. Then in the doing you find out what's working and what's important to you and all that. So get to the doing part sooner rather than later. Don't 'bite the hook' of books! Don't let them hook you and reel you in and flip you into the boat of conceptual, disengaged thinking. Stay swimming.

If your experience is similar to mine, you will feel different for weeks to months until you adjust, kind of. It is indeed a brilliant moment of unfolding. I am happy for you.

>in short it was an intense feeling of being one with the universe

Who could blame one for clinging a bit to the new-found joy of tasting something far bigger than the wee self for the first time. (Sorry, unfortunatemuso, I humbly share that I don't at all see n0fe4r's experience as a mere distraction, but I could be wrong.

n0fe4r = Nofear - that's so pertinent!

Many of our onion layers separating us from that which is grander are made of fear.

Such an experience is certainly enlightening in the sense that it connects you to more, while showing you that more is possible. Wow.

Chop wood, carry water. Yes?

Is anyone really "ordinary"?

I agree with clickstation that kundalini may be involved. If so it would be great to start educating yourself before the next few growth spurts arise. There is a lot of poor information on the K topic, including wikipedia. Consider finding this book. It is, in my experience, the clearest most concise and usable book on the topic. It could prove very helpful.

Kundalini & the Chakras: Evolution in this Lifetime

Namaste right back at you.

The emergence of repressed emotion is actually a sign that the meditation is working. If repressed emotion isn’t allowed to emerge and release itself in this way, it will physically tire you and decrease the level of positive emotion you can experience, among other negative effects. Although the raw experience may be negative right now, it’s very, very good that you’re able to bring up these emotions through meditation. From a Buddhist perspective, this is a critical part of meditation that cannot be skipped.

The 10 points practice and other practices on that page will help you to heal these emotions and relax the body and mind regardless of what you’re feeling. For more meditation techniques that work with emotion as it’s stored and expressed through the body, Your Breathing Body is a great resource. I recommend these techniques for all Buddhist practitioners whose meditation lacks a body awareness component, and they may be especially useful in your case.

To supplement your meditation practice, I strongly recommend that you try one of the therapeutic modalities that work with emotion stuck in the body, like EMDR, Hakomi, or Somatic Experiencing. I personally found EMDR effective. A therapist can guide you in ways that you wouldn't be able to figure out yourself. Your quality of life will improve as the therapy heals these emotions and helps you create positive mental habits.

Never harm others in response to emotional pain. If you feel overwhelming anger, it’s very wise to exit the situation as you have done. If you can’t escape the situation for whatever reason, you can focus on relaxing your body or focus on the breath. To release anger in general, you can scream into a pillow if it’s possible to do this without disturbing others--this may provide significant relief.

If the emotions you feel are overwhelming, you can take a break. Seek professional help if you’re thinking about harming yourself or others. Safety is paramount.

If you want to better understand the relationship between trauma and the body, The Body Keeps the Score is a classic guide.

The amount of repressed emotion stored in the body is finite. Once it’s exhausted, life will still have its challenges, but you will experience positive emotions and a sense of freedom most of the time. You will also be better disposed to serve others.

i've been dealing with some similar things. i found Peter Levine's work on trauma to be eye-opening. this book, for example. he offers some practices though i haven't actually tried them.

Tsultrim Allione provides a modern layperson's interpretation of Tibetan chöd practice which directly addresses this kind of thing. it's kind of intense, but then so are our demons.

it's often said that trauma is stored in the body. there are a lot of somatic meditation techniques available out there. i'm a huge fan of somatic work, especially for its applicability to this kind of thing. Touching Enlightenment is an excellent introduction to somatic meditation from a Tibetan Buddhist point of view.

hope you find something in there that's helpful. best of luck.

edit: clarification: Tsultrim Allione isn't a layperson. her book is written for the laity. :)

People are free to follow their own path, but forcing myself to believe things that seem unlikely is not part of my path.

I was going to a sangha for a while. It was very Western, so I thought I'd be comfortable. Then I heard a sermon about the after life, and I noped right out of there. I'd spent enough of my time as a Christian ignoring or tirelessly interpreting religion so I could fit it so myself, of fit myself to it. I'm not entering that pretzel logic of self negation again.

I'm reading a great book now, Buddhism Without Beliefs, that strips Buddhism down to the bare essentials, and that, happily, does not require taking anything on faith.

I'm taking some time reading, and shoring up my foundation of meditation practice; but ultimately I'd like to join a more belief-neutral Zen group.

Glad I could help. And yeah, it's good to experiment and see what kind of cool things you can get your mind and body to do, but at the same time I think it's better to do these practices within some framework. I mean, the techniques that the Hindus or the Tibetans use have been developed over centuries, so there are sure to have been people who have run into similar problems and discovered how to fix them and how to avoid them. If you're interested in energetic practices in particular (working with chakras, "chi", etc.), I think the best book I've found from a Buddhist standpoint is this one: The Bliss of Inner Fire. I believe it is one of the few books that actually gives teachings on Tummo meditation practice in English. (Note: Check your local library, or look around online, I was able to find a PDF of this book and it's available at my university's library.)

I'd start off with Vipassana meditation (Great resource for this: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html) For me, it's the easiest and simplest way to go about it. I know that some people prefer the tantric way where they open their chakras and try to feel their energy, but I can't really get into that. It depends on personal preference of course but if you want to learn a bit more about the tantric way, there's a great book on Tibetan Buddhism called "The Bliss of inner fire."

http://www.amazon.com/The-Bliss-Inner-Fire-Practice/dp/086171136X

Here's a bit more info about chakras if you do decide to go down that route:
http://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/open.php

It's completely a personal choice, but as I mentioned earlier, I prefer Vipassana meditation.
Hope that helps.

I have been reading a recent translation of Mahasi Sayadaw's Manual of Insight lately, which was only recently released. It explains in excruciating detail both the practice and the theory behind his brand of vipassana, including how paying mindful attention to whatever present moment experience is arising develops direct, experiential insight into ultimate reality. However, it's extremely technical, even more so than Daniel Ingram's Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, which also addresses this issue.

> I find it much more profitable for me to just expand my consciousness on the subjects of my life and come to my own realizations and insights.

This exercise may be valuable to you, but it's very different than the method of vipassana. Here, you're simply engaging experience at the conceptual level, at the level of the narratives you've created about yourself and your everyday experiences. Liberating insight is developed by directly seeing the stuff that makes up that high-level conceptualized experience. It's like the difference between watching and enjoying a movie and actually paying attention to the frame-by-frame of the movie, trying to see the pixels that comprise the picture, and ultimately trying to understand that which gives rise to the movie itself.

To see clearly and directly, you work with what you can actually see, right now in your experience, hence the emphasis on the "present moment." You simply observe whatever is actually happening, whether thinking, breathing, pressure sensations, seeing, smelling, or whatever. You pay close attention to whatever arises at the doors of the five senses and the mind's door. You see how each sensation, physical and mental, arises and passes away, one by one, constantly, like an ever-flowing river.

You don't infer that this is occurring or think about it or work it out intellectually. You just watch that process happening. Do that long enough, and what you see begins to sink in at an extremely deep level of the mind, eventually upending your entire world view. That's vipassana.

Hi,

The method of this one retreat was Mahasi
https://www.amazon.com/Manual-Insight-Mahasi-Sayadaw/dp/1614292779

The method induces stages of insight as with any other Vipassana technique
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/mahasi/progress.html

It leads to Nibbanna(cessation), which happened to me on this and several other methods. It won't make sense unless you experienced it because the mind will try to conceptualize it.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/mahasi/progress.html#ch7

****

Vipassana is one method of leading to cessation. As with lying down it does not necessarily lead to passivity. If you’re already passive/sleepy it doesn’t matter what posture you're in.

The tendency to experience fullness is probably because lying down is associated with sleep.

Though the best way to understand any technique is to go to a retreat. To limit meditation to a posture is limiting oneself.

These are the ones that I've done and they have all mentioned lying down as an appropriate form of practice. However, if you find yourself falling asleep you can sit, stand, or walk. The goal is not to fall asleep or do dream yoga.

Mahasi - look up manual of insight with his name.
same with Goenka but this time the mind settled on one object for an hour without wondering. I did not make this happen. It happened on its own.

Goenka - during one retreat as I lay down I continued the practice. the mind was awake, calm, and relaxed. It was was aware as the physical system shutdown and went into a deep sleep as well as went it came back online. Awareness was there the whole time. Awareness is not thinking or identification with anything per say.

U Tejanyia - experience Samadhi during lunch and at work after a retreat.

Shinzen Young - the system was very open and emotional arisings were experienced flowing through the body like electricity.


Again the lying down does not necessarily induce sleepiness. But if awareness is strong one can be very present with the sleepiness and watch how it changes. How it changes into a clear and awake mind. Having goals or how meditation should be is limited and goal-oriented.

I would prefer to be in a meditative state in any posture/condition then limiting it to any one posture. Look up Vipassana and Tibetan (Reginald Ray) practices. The problem is that a lot it is a bit watered down and if not done consistently enough the purification process is not experienced.

There's a lot of good info here too: dharmaoverground.org

Maybe this book "The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness" by Mingyur Rinpoche; even though it is written by a Buddhist monk, the perspective is totally non religious, it explains very clearly and simply what is meditation and gives some simple but effective tecniques; they are Buddhist of course, but there is no reference to religion and similar. He just teaches awareness of thoughts, relaxation of the mind, awareness of breath and so on.

The Joy of Living

• Mindfulness in Plain English (Henepola Gunaratana): Nuts and bolts intro to vipassana perfect for beginners. Free.
  
  
• Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha (Daniel Ingram): For more experienced/advanced meditators. Focuses on vipassana and Mahasi-style noting practice. Free.
  
  
• The Science of Enlightenment (Shinzen Young): Great for all levels, best suited to those with a scientific mindset. Discusses many different techniques. Audiobook only.
  
  
  

> Losing the feeling in my legs and then trying to regain the feeling after you release the lotus position and feeling your leg nerves going haywire is so uncomfortable.

Yes it is. The best thing is to sit 5 minutes past the time you feel it is highly uncomfortable and then stop. Not to stop immediately upon feeling uncomfortable. When you are uncomfortable in meditation there is a lot of emotional content that comes up. This is great observation material.

> About 15 minutes into my session I feel a vibration in my chest, face, eyes, and mouth and it gets stronger and stronger. When I finish my session my eyes feel really heavy and blurry, my mouth is puckering uncontrollably, my face feels heavy and I'm vibrating and cant' feel my face at all pretty much.

My face typically gets heavy as well. This is normal. It is when you are really still and muscles go relaxed. It is certainly unusual experience.

> What the hell is going on with me?

You are just starting off ;-) Keep it up. You are not used to sitting this way. You can also try standing meditation.

> Is there any way to not have my legs or face fall asleep while meditating?

Unfortunately it requires practice. Just like anything else. You need to keep doing it and it will slowly get better. Regarding face falling asleep - this is just a new experience. Nothing bad will happen. Your aversion towards your face falling asleep is really good to experience. What about it do you not like?

If you can find a local temple, group or teacher - that is ideal. They can help.

For sitting, as an example, your hips should be higher than your knees. There are many other posture adjustments you can make. I sit a bit higher and put Hello Kitty floaties under my thighs. It is trial and error. I found the inexpensive floatie idea during a retreat.

https://www.amazon.com/Hello-Deluxe-Inflatable-Floatation-Sleeves/dp/B00O810O7Q

Keep practicing!

>I honestly believe meditation is only ONE tool that helps us face our shadow.

Agreed, shadow work in conjunction with meditation can bring true benefit.

Meeting the shadow is a great book on this topic. Here are some quotes:

"The shadow cannot be eliminated. It is the ever-present dark brother or sister. Whenever we fail to see where it stands, there is likely to be trouble afoot. For then it is certain to be standing behind us. The adequate question therefore never is: Have I a shadow problem? Have I a negative side? But rather: Where does it happen to be right now? When we cannot see it, it is time to beware! And it is helpful to remember Jung's formulation that a complex is not pathological per se. It becomes pathological only when we assume that we do not have it; because then it has us."

"This brings us to the fundamental fact that the shadow is the door to our individuality. In so far as the shadow renders us our first view of the unconscious part of our personality, it represents the first stage toward meeting the Self. There is, in fact, no access to the unconscious and to our own reality but through the shadow. Only when we realize that part of ourselves which we have not hitherto seen or preferred not to see can we proceed to question and find the sources from which it feeds and the basis on which it rests. Hence no progress or growth is possible until the shadow is adequately confronted — and confronting means more than merely knowing about it. It is not until we have truly been shocked into seeing ourselves as we really are, instead of as we wish or hopefully assume we are, that we can take the first step toward individual reality."

There's also a meditation practice in the Tibetan tradition called Chöd that is very similar to shadow work. Tsultrim Allione describes this practice as "feeding your own demons"

Buddy, you need some proper and down to earth meditation training. In my experience, Mingyur Rinpoche's approach works best. I would recommend you to read this book first:
http://www.amazon.com/Joy-Living-Unlocking-Science-Happiness/dp/0307347311/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1419458543&sr=8-2&keywords=mingyur+rinpoche

That should be a good start. After you finish it, you will understand a lot of what goes on in your head. Ultimately, you will need to establish stable and serious daily meditation practice.

Thich Nhat Hanh is also a great source.

Zen is super confusing at times, which might frustrate the inquirer. Also, there's a lot of seemingly contradictory information, and a lot of the zen masters actually admonished meditation. Without context it's a little unclear as to why, aside from the fact that they didn't want their disciples to meditate for the sake of blissing out. That said, I'd wholly recommend this book, since it's very lucid:

http://www.amazon.com/Zen-Essence-Shambhala-Dragon-Editions/dp/1570625883/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1464891954&sr=8-1&keywords=zen+science+of+freedom

Foyan is featured in it, and his book is fantastic as well:

http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Zen-Waking-Up-Present/dp/1556431937/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1464892102&sr=8-1&keywords=instant+zen

For something a little more challenging but great, go with:

http://www.amazon.com/Zen-Teaching-Huang-Po-Transmission/dp/0802150926/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1464892139&sr=8-1&keywords=zen+teachings+of+huang+po

Have fun!

Shambhala in general is legit. Very grateful to have learned tonglen from them. The one near me also seems to be composed mostly of people who are very serious about just sitting and doing the practice (in a good way). They were pretty generous with loaning books out too. This was a good introductory read.

I'd check 'em out.

These were along the same line as my thoughts. Especially with such a strong feeling as anger, and such a strong version of this strong feeling, I'm not sure that can ever be entirely "let go".

I would second any of Jon Kaba-Zinn's works. I would also recommend Thich Nhat Hanh's Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames.

I have found with the most potent and persistent of the feelings I'd rather not be having, I cannot just leave that feeling (high and mighty meditation masters: say what you will. I'm a human, not a master). That's part of why it is so potent and distressing; these feelings can fester and we can't "just let go" of them. I've had the most luck by:
-"paying attention on purpose in the present moment, non-judgmentally" (Kabat-Zinn)
-not trying to get rid of the feeling, but to put my energy into not reacting to it.
-Welcoming the feeling. Being kind and compassionate to it "Hello, anger, my old friend. Here you are again with me."

A quote that has spoke to me previously:
>This being human is a guest house.
>Every morning a new arrival,
>a joy, a depression, a meanness,
>as an unexpected visitor.
>Welcome and entertain them all!



Tl;dr: I've never had luck "just letting go" of the most severe feelings I have. I try to be present with the feeling without reacting, focus on my breaths, and it does eventually leave.

From The Zen Teaching of Huang-Po: On the Transmission of Mind

> It is pure Mind, which is the source of everything and which, whether appearing as sentient beings or as Buddhas, as the rivers and mountains of the world which has form, as that which is formless, or as penetrating the whole universe absolutely without distinctions, there being no such entities as selfness and otherness.

> This pure Mind, the source of everything, shines forever and on all with the brilliance of its own perfection. But the people of the world do not awaken to it, regarding only that which sees, hears, feels and knows as mind. Blinded by their own sight, hearing, feeling and knowing, they do not perceive the spiritual brilliance of the source-substance. If they would only eliminate all conceptual thought in a flash, that source-substance would manifest itself like the sun ascending through the void and illuminating the whole universe without hindrance or bounds.

> Therefore, if you students of the Way seek to progress through seeing, hearing, feeling and knowing, when you are deprived of your perceptions, your way to Mind will be cut off and you will find nowhere to enter. Only realize that, though real Mind is expressed in these perceptions it neither forms part of them nor is separate from them.

That's fine, just make sure you go slow and do the preparatory practices first. Otherwise you'll just be met with extreme pain and agony as the energy forces itself and burns through any blockages or impurities in your nervous system. I use this book It's a complete course on pretty much everything to do with meditation, yoga, etc. You're supposed to do each chapter for a month before moving on to the next one. I've had great results so far and don't have any negative effects.

*: I found a pdf of the book. It's pretty expensive on amazon. I got mine for around $35.

At times, I have difficulty sitting too (pain). Anyways..

My Tibetan (dharma) teacher recommends newbies meditate for a maximum of 10 minutes at a time. In a 90-120 lesson he'll take us through 2 or 3 meditations, and only if people want that many.

You know, there's nothing wrong with just doing 5 minutes. Or two minutes, for example whilst waiting for public transport to arrive.

With time, the meditation practice having probably reduced the neurochemicals causing you to fidget, longer sessions of sitting might well be much easier.

Also, you don't have to sit. You can lie down for example. Also you can make all sorts of activities a meditation, for example be more mindful when eating your breakfast. This book is pretty good in this respect http://www.amazon.com/Peace-Every-Step-Mindfulness-Everyday/dp/0553351397

Do try seek out a teacher :-)

I've had a similar experience where I was meditating for nearly an hour, my body fell asleep after 20 minutes, everything was starting to go limp, jaw gaping and I felt less outside stimuli. My mind went wild and it was harder to concentrate, but I imagine the process to be similar to absorption if not the same if you can manage to keep concentrated.

In dream yoga which us similar to lucid dreaming, but with the intetion of being able to further your practice in your sleep by applying what's cultivated in meditation to your dreams, there is apparently a point that can be reached where a subtle kind of awareness can be held during deep/non dreaming sleep to the extent that one can meditate all throughout the night in their sleep in and out of dreams. I read about it in The Tibetan Yogas Of Dream and Sleep.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1559391014?pc_redir=1414614701&robot_redir=1

I have noticed a similar effect on myself.
Here's a book about the Tibetan practice of dream yoga. One of the first steps is to develop stability in waking life through meditation. It teaches how to gain lucidity in your dream life, but the purpose of lucidity according to the practice isn't just to have fun being awake inside your dreams.
You might also want to post or x-post into /r/LucidDreaming -

Shinzen's series, The Science of Enlightenment, is excellent. I wasn't sure about Shinzen as a teacher until I listened to it. He's clear, sincere, and very honest.

If you have the opportunity and the money, I highly recommend you buy his audio CD The Science of Enlightenment.
It contains a series of amazing talks breaking down what meditation is, isn't, and amazing real-life stories of people who were enlightened.

This reminds me of Feeding Your Demons. If imagery works well for you, then you might appreciate the methods in this book.


> a smile I think I never saw her make for me

I think that it is significant that you said this at the end. The bride image you saw at the end is not really your ex-girlfriend, but an idealization that just happens to look like her. I would go back down that staircase and keep looking deeper. I bet there is something more to the bride image than you have discovered.

Sure.

This site gives a nice overview of a bunch of styles. Good place to start.

There's a book called Zen Without Zen Masters that gives really no-nonsense descriptions of a few different styles.

What really helped me was to just read lots of different articles, blogs, and books. You just start to notice the similarities between all these different methods. I think of meditation like doing art; you need different ways of moving the brush, or pushing the keys to express yourself properly.

And, if headspace is working for you just start trying these new moves on top of that method.

Robert Wright's book "Why Buddhism is True" is a great place to start.

If you are looking for help applying the concepts to your life without the religious trappings, the ABT program is excellent.

And, if you want to dig a little deeper into Buddhism and see it from a secular point of view, Stephen Batchelor's "Buddhism Without Beliefs" is excellent.

For me, this was the best reading. I hope you could get some good insight about meditation. https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Meditation-Simple-Step-Step/dp/1465473416

If you're interested in tantric buddhism, I would suggest reading anything and everything by Lama Yeshe.

Here's an intro to the subject he gave. It's pretty good if memory serves.

His book gives detailed instructions for the practices that form the core of tantric meditation within Vajrayana.

You might find the book "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle to be a good start.

Also, I might suggest this very simple and effective book by Giovanni Dienstmann.

https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Meditation-Simple-Step-Step/dp/1465473416

Dhamma Brothers is a film about teaching meditation to inmates. The teachers, I believe, were certified Goenka's style of Vipassana, which, crudely put, is basic body scanning. Some great links can be found on this thread. Your Breathing Body Vol1 & Vol2 by Reggie Ray is probably the most comprehensive coverage you're going to get for staying with the body - if that's what you want to do. Most likely you do since prison is not exactly a safe place. Mindfulness of the body would be a great refuge in a place like that. Also, you could look into stuff by Shinzen Young, he has a lot of videos on YouTube and new book coming out, however, to simplify his stuff even more you could get this book. Simple practices is what I would stick with for prison. Also, also, someone in this thread will, sooner or later, recommend The Mind Illuminated. You can't go wrong with the techniques in there.

Edit: grammar. :/

This book got me started. It's a very short read and I recommend seeing if your local library has a copy. If you want a more personal take on what I learned from it, feel free to PM me.

> We are in control of our emotions. If we weren't, cognitive behavioral therapy wouldn't work.

Actually, it's not how cognitive behavioral therapy works; "controlling thoughts and emotions" would be a misunderstanding and misrepresentation of CBT. I tell you this as someone who has been certified in it and taught it.

Your comments also display a misunderstanding of Buddhism and associated teachings. I do like your comment "The Buddha claimed it wouldn't take very long, and had thousands of arahant followers by the time he died." I highly recommend the book "Buddhism Without Beliefs" by Stephen Batchelor...it's an enlightening read, and I believe you'll get a lot from it.

Best wishes on your continued journey.

edit - added link

I'd recommend reading Huang Po, he's one of my very favorites. (PDF here.)

He had some very lucid thing to say about the nature of awakening.

Thich Nhat Hanh wrote a beautiful book on anger, and here is a free translation of a speech he gave titled "Five ways of putting an end to anger". The Buddha has a wonderful quote: "Grasping onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else - you are the one who gets burned." Hope this helps!

A few of my favorites:

• Shambhala by Chogyam Trungpa
  
• Paths to God by Ram Dass
  
• The First and Last Freedom by Krishnamurti
  
• Zen Mind, Beginners Mind by Suzuki Roshi
  
• A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield
  

Thanks.
Also recommended: Peace is Every Step, Thich Nhat Hanh

Here is a really good book along those lines:

http://www.amazon.com/Buddhism-Without-Beliefs-Contemporary-Awakening/dp/1573226564

I was in a similar situation and I found that reading stories of others (non-fiction) helped me get a better understanding of the world. By reading someone else's story, you get insight on that person's view on things which allows you to re-evaluate your own thinking.

One book that changed my life (and talks about meditiation too) is this one.

Thanks for following up. I just ordered the Thich Nhat Hanh book based on your suggestion. Peace is Every Step is the book that introduced me to mindfulness & meditation.

Yes, I do. It's under Amazon's editorial reviews.

http://www.amazon.com/10%25-Happier-Self-Help-Actually-Works--/dp/0062265423/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1394667298&sr=1-1&keywords=dan+harris+10+happier

I link this to pretty much every post I respond to where someone expresses an issue with posture. Probably the most concise and complete guide I've found.

I also recommend the book The Posture of Meditation by Will Johnson: http://www.amazon.com/Posture-Meditation-Will-Johnson/dp/1570622329

Posture is the complete focus of the book. It is a reversal of most meditation instruction books where his focus begins and ends with the posture with very little focus on what you do inside your head.

Integrating and practicing his ideas has benefited my vipassana and zazen practice.

if you want to go deeper the rabbit hole and really invest your time into this question, read the book titled The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep

There are lots of different methods defending on the school. One of the more straightforward free sources on it is Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha. Some people have argued that Mahasi's book is better, but I don't think it's free.

In either case, they only describe a few different methods for one school. Other schools have their own way of doing things. Many of those are secret. What isn't secret is often conveyed in abstruse terms to laymen.

Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by Sam Harris. He's a outspoken atheist and neuroscientist, so he discusses it in a very scientific context.

10% Happier by Dan Harris (no relation). He is a news anchor and war corresponded who discuss a more personal view of meditation.

Both are great.

Thich Nhat Hanh as a whole book on anger

Here is an article by him in Shambala Sun

Here is a talk by him with a transcript on the subject.

http://www.amazon.com/10-Happier-Self-Help-Actually-Works-A/dp/0062265423

http://www.amazon.com/10-Happier-Self-Help-Actually-Works-A/dp/0062265423

check out this: A Systematic Course in the Ancient Tantric Techniques of Yoga and Kriya also available online in a pdf here the book expects that you take 3 years to complete it

I am currently in the middle of reading Manual of Insight by Mahasi Sayadaw, and what you've posted seems directly in line with what I am reading.

There's a 2,000 Buddhist map for attaining awakening. And, as I've come to experience first-hand, it's one legitimate model for understanding the progression toward liberation.

See Mahasi Sayadaw, Kenneth Folk, Daniel Ingram, Ron Crouch, and others:

• http://alohadharma.com/the-map/
  
• http://awakenetwork.org/forum/kfd-public/13497-the-progress-of-insight-by-kenneth-folk
  
• http://www.dharmaoverground.org/dharma-wiki/-/wiki/Main/the+progress+of+insight
  
• http://www.vipassanadhura.com/sixteen.html
  
• http://www.amazon.com/Manual-Insight-Mahasi-Sayadaw/dp/1614292779

http://www.amazon.com/Anger-Cooling-Thich-Nhat-Hanh/dp/1573229377

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The Zen Teaching of Huang-Po

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