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Hi Daniella,

I am sorry your are going through this. My egg cracked about 8 weeks ago. I found that is easiest to set small goals and work towards them. Since then, I have come out as trans to my friend since 3rd grade, my wife, and my sister, who told her husband. I own my own business and have 5 people who work for me. If you ever need to talk feel free to private msg me. I am 38 with 2 kids. Things are stressful. I have found it is really helpful to have a therapist who works with trans people. I found mine here: https://www.wpath.org/provider/search

I talk to my friend daily, it is really helpful to have someone you can turn to who you know what be an ally. My sister is supportive, but we don't talk about this too much, she is trying to adjust. My wife is less supportive. She doesn't want to be married to a woman. We are talking things through.

I told my mom I wanted to be a girl when I was 5-ish. I turned to crossdressing a few years after when she made it pretty clear that wasn't an option.

Don't drive your car off a bridge, figure out a way toward your goals, and start small. I had the happiest day in my life 2 weeks ago, when I walked into an Ulta dressed as a woman. I cried tears of joy on the way home, I was so happy. Honestly, it gets better. I also found that waxing my body helps a ton. I started off with this: https://www.amazon.com/Stripless-Beans%EF%BC%8814-1oz%EF%BC%8920-Applicator-Eyebrows-Painless/dp/B07JK4C34Y/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=self+waxing&qid=1572730528&sr=8-4

I also started plucking 20-30 eye brow hairs off a day. No one noticed, and now I have some nice eye brows :) Small goals. Trust me it helps!

Let me know if I can help and good luck,

-Jessica

It's a god start, but if I were you i'd invest in a better wig- Here are some suggestions

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as well as some decent black lipstick. (I recommend LAsplash's Lip Couture in Venom.) The look you're going for is obviously a bit more 'edgy', so I'd definitely suggest playing up your eyes as a big detail.

You already read pretty femme to me like this- though I'd recommend a more level camera angle next time, as this angle elongates the face.

Overall, you look pretty good, and obviously you're not going to be 100% perfect the first time, so just keep working towards it and you'll be fine.

doctors should have a reference for needed supplies real question is what you can coordinate to make your life easier after the surgery while in the room for a week and onwards

if you got family or friends visiting who may bring food get hand wipes & sanitizers so you don't have to get up out of bed.

maybe a really good pillow over the standard for your week.

heated blanket

face cleansers & deodorant to keep clear skin and smell better

headwear flashlight for reading or playing games if its dark.

a grabbing tool in case you drop something.

Velcro strap you can mount to the side of your bed so you can have everything on hand that you would like & need

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Bell-Rucksack-400-Cruiser-Saddle-Bag/23756679?athcpid=23756679&athpgid=athenaItemPage&athcgid=null&athznid=PWVUB&athieid=v0&athstid=CS004&athguid=4c000849-234-16e18fa77bda9b&athancid=null&athena=true

this could be mounted to your bedside and hold your critical supplies while you wait out the post surgery week

extra long charge cables for your electronics just in case.

wipes would also help you clean up if you get sweaty to stay clean when you would like to the most.

​

I would recommend asking your doctor for everything you need medically. if your traveling a long distance home post release you may want to take something with you incase a mandatory dilation is needed and your in public.

https://www.amazon.com/Portable-Toilet-Perineal-Soaking-Standard/dp/B07NJ6SM9Y

in addition to carrying

half water gallon container

personal cleaner - dilation maintenance self and item

cleaner - initial cleaning and post care cleaning of the bathroom

secondary water dish to clean your supplies

roll of paper towels with spare rolls in your car depending on your number of stops

( would need a larger bag ) to carry into a public bathroom may also want to carry a secondary water dish to clean your supplies while in the stall ---- take the larger stall with the baby table and be courteous to clean the surfaces for others when your done obviously.

disposable underwear incase you get leaks while traveling or within the first few weeks of dilating to save your personal stuff or just buy new one later.

perhaps a step farther and get plastic cover for the car up to you but that's overkill lmao

​

there are more than one material of dilators you may want to find out if you got the best one or if yours will be a little harder than it could be

my plans are a bit much but that's about it

-Melissa R

Buy a DE Razor! I wouldn't do anything less until you get permanent hair removal. Wax is a pain (really it hurts), Don't want to use chemical removal down there (ouch!) and besides permanent hair removal, I think you are stuck with shaving.

I can tell you the shaving cream and razors make a big big difference.

• Get off the dead skin off your body (take a shower and wash up)
  
• Use a shaving soap with a brush instead of the Spray Can c**p (I don't know why people use that stuff?)
  
• Use a Double Edge Safety Razor (Once you use this then you won't go back to the store brand stuff, Only thing that beats it would be a straight edge razor but DE razor is good enough)
  
• Then use antibacterial cream in sensitive places so you don't get any bumps but you shouldn't too much with a clean razor
  
  The shaving soap last for ages and DE razors are like 10-20 cent each which is a major shavings. (pun)
  
  
  I use Van Der Hagen Scented Luxury Shave Soap with a horse hair brush. I own two brushes ... one for the face and another for the body.
  
  Soap Kit: http://www.amazon.com/Van-Hagen-Mens-Luxury-Shave/dp/B004L4EING/
  
  An ok starting Safety Razor: http://www.amazon.com/Shaving-Factory-Double-Safety-Silver/dp/B003A722RE/
  
  If you have the money then buy a better Safety Razor like Merkur
  
  You can go as far and buy two Safety Razors, one for the face and one for body but I find cleaning and replacing the blade is easy enough.
  
  

Exfoliating is a big help, these are awesome for in the shower. I lather one up with soap and use it to wash with, then shave, and then I lightly exfoliate with the cloth again with just water before getting out. Moisturize after with something that doesn't irritate your skin (I like Lubriderm Sensitive Skin personally).

I'm not sure I agree with the sentiment that women's razors are necessarily better. I spent quite a bit of time looking online for what the best razor to use on my legs would be and the general consensus was the main difference between women's and men's razors is just the handle shape and packaging/cost. Many cis women actually posted about preferring the Mach 3 which is a "men's" razor. I already had one of those so I've been using it for body hair and personally it's been working very well. It's also pretty economical compared to many when it comes to buying blades (you can get a pretty good deal on them in bulk on Amazon).

Also, how much pressure are you using? It should be quite light, let the razor do the work. I wonder if you're pushing down harder than you need to without realizing it.

Schick Intuition Sensitive Care Razor for Women with 2 Moisturizing Razor Blade Refills with Natural Aloe https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004CCSKCW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_JD4YBbHF26V3W
There’s an example. There’s different scented ones so pick what you like that way. Make sure you’re getting one with the handle part, the ones that don’t have a handle will say refills usually. I always get ones that say sensitive to start with for anything because I’ve had minor reactions to scented things so if you have sensitivities to things choose a sensitive one. I personally like this one and the purple one I think it’s coconut and almond, I’m sure of the coconut not sure on the almond lol. I hope you love it as much as me!

I picked up a few from Amazon, but I'm not actually using them yet. What I am using are women's light compression racerback tank tops. I don't have a whole lot of growth yet, although it is noticeable to me. These tanks give me comfortable support while hiding the growth I do have.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B072DRKM7Y/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

-Jess

That's me, I'm an AMAB nonbinary person seeking a nonbinary physical transition. I posted a little about this seeking more perspectives here: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/al0uoy/nonbinary_hormone_regimens/


The answer I have is that there is *very* little research on us, and what there is is patchy. There's a little more on AFAB nonbinary people, but not much. The best summary of the research so far that I've found is a chapter in the book "Genderqueer and Non-Binary Genders" (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Genderqueer-Non-Binary-Critical-Approaches-Sexuality-ebook/dp/B078BB2KLR/sr=8-1) which covers nonbinary treatment options.


There is increasing experience among trans people, though. I'm 6 months in, on 5mg Finasteride daily and Evorel 50 patches twice-weekly, and I'm about to go up to Evorel 75. I have experienced some skin softening and a major positive mood change (e.g. I could cry again after three years of not being able to, and it was good), but no body fat redistribution or breasts. My nipples feel very different this week and I'm wondering if I'm budding but it's too early to tell. My testosterone is consistently lower than a typical man's and higher than a typical woman's, and my estrogen is higher than a typical man's and lower than a typical woman's: perfect nonbinary hormone levels! As I go up to higher estrogen doses, it's likely that will shift more firmly towards levels typical for trans women, but without a more aggressive antiandrogen than finasteride my T will still by higher than usual for trans women.


There's no definite telling when changes like breast growth will be triggered. It depends on your dosage, your hormone receptivity, and loads of stuff we don't know about. You could start growing breasts on a low E dose. You could be on a high E dose and not grow breasts. Your body shape and hair growth will also be affected by how high your T is. But yes, all of these are variable. Yes, you can start on a mild antiandrogen like Finasteride, and on a very low E dosage, and see how you feel, and gradually scale up the E to see how you feel. The switch between Finasteride and other antiandrogens is probably a bit more dramatic, but still scaleable.


We're gender pirates figuring it out together. Have fun!

I found these, they hold my junk in well enough and are very comfortable

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B076DMH7BY/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s04?ie=UTF8&psc=1

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And then I found some thongs for guys but they are pretty fem looking honestly but have nice room in the front.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07L6CVTP1/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s03?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I just posted this on another post, but this author discusses, with drawings and pictures, the many ways that transwomen enjoy their bodies. Vibrators help! Playing with your prostate/g-spot can be enough all by itself, muffing with and without vibrators can feel good...you just have to be willing to not have an orgasm as you experiment. http://www.amazon.com/Fucking-Trans-Women-FTW-Volume/dp/1492128937

If you can commit to yourself that you won't stroke it like most guys do, and give each technique a week of regular use, even if you aren't successful in having a traditional orgasm...I'd be willing to bet you'd find something that feels good!

As to whether or not you should release the juice...I don't know if it's medically necessary, but it might follow the "use it or lose it" model, in which case you may still want to play with your prostrate if you don't want it to shrivel too much. Lots of nerve endings there!

Menstruating cis woman here!

Plastic applicator, regular size, unscented. Some brands have "click compact" types, which are even more compact so easier to carry in your purse. For example: https://smile.amazon.com/Kotex-Compact-Tampons-Absorbency-Fragrance-Free/dp/B00UASJM8S/ref=sr_1_10_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1540027038&sr=8-10&keywords=tampon

Cardboard applicators can be uncomfortable since it's basically the dry raw cotton against the vaginal opening. Avoid tampons without applicators (e.g., OB) since those require a bit more skill and comfort with one's own vagina. Most menstruating women can use a regular -- if it's heavy flow, she'll just have to change it earlier.

For pads, aim for unscented and moderate flow. With or without wings is really up to personal preference of the cis woman in question, and you won't be able to predict. Avoid the overnight pads, they can really feel like diapers. Again - NO SCENTS. Example: https://smile.amazon.com/Always-Ultra-Super-Wings-Unscented/dp/B01IZ5FDNA/ref=pd_bxgy_121_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01IZ5FDNA&pd_rd_r=b0be1bc6-d449-11e8-af19-2fb1fdc93008&pd_rd_w=0ELMl&pd_rd_wg=OteeQ&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=6725dbd6-9917-451d-beba-16af7874e407&pf_rd_r=Z375Z4D88N13S66AZDWZ&pf_rd_s=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=Z375Z4D88N13S66AZDWZ

If you have a menstruating cis woman friend, see if you can bum a few off of her to share with others and help pass. I would totally give supplies to a trans woman friend.

Also a note: If you look post menopausal I would be much less likely to ask. So it's less crucial for older lookin' ladies.

Hope this helps! This was my own strategy when getting communal menstrual supplies for my workplace :)

I was shopping yesterday in Goodwill (a thrift store in the US) for a new jacket and found some that fit in mediums, larges and extra larges. There were also some larges that were way too big, and some that were way too small. When people say women's sizes have a lot of variety, they're not kidding. It's nearly impossible to universally label yourself one size or another.

I've found shopping at places like Goodwill a great start, because nobody really seems to care. However, not everyone has the privilege of living in such a trans* friendly city that I do. So if you don't feel comfortable or safe shopping in the store, I recommend getting a tape measure (the really floppy kind used for [sewing, like this] ( http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000B7Q9FM/ref=mh_12899551_dp_bst_2?qid=1412349102&pi=SL125_SX112_CR0,0,112,125)) and taking measurements of your waist, bust, etc. You can then find many online retailers that will have measurement guides, as well as reviews that might tell you if something runs larger or smaller than normal. Finally, use a retailer with a good return policy (I've had good luck with Amazon), and don't be afraid to send things back.

I can give more specific information about particular types of clothing if you're interested, but don't want to drone on if it's useless info.

I actually found it in the store today. Smelling it, though, I found it a little strong. I'm sensitive to some fragrances and I can only know for sure after having it on for a while.

When it dries, there is no scent? Maybe I should have applied some to my skin while I had it open to make sure, especially if it's so effective! It sounds like just what I was looking for :)

Thanks!

Are you doing a "full tuck", with the testes inside the inguinal canals? If so:

1. You may need better underwear. The best option is a purpose-made gaff like this (there are plenty of others, but I use this and others from the same company), but a lot of trans girls use slightly tight/one-size-too-small boyshorts and sometimes double-layer them.
   
   
2. Not everyone can sit comfortably while doing the "full tuck". Just luck of the draw, I'm afraid. I can handle it for a while, but not forever.

I really like this product and its cheaper than Nair but is a little bit harder to use. It comes as a powder and you have to mix it with a bit of water. I have found it in almost every store I have ever looked for it in Target, Walmart, CVS, Walgreens etc. You can find it in the ethnic hair care aisle.

https://www.amazon.com/SoftSheen-Carson-Magic-Conditioning-Shaving-Powder/dp/B0000532Q5?th=1

Heres a really good Youtube video on how to use it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ1Ow91MX9k&t=316s

Edit: As far as safety, Ive never had a reaction to it but if you are worried just test a small patch before you do a large area.

Exfoliating is to scrub the skin, so the dead skin falls off, and it can pull out ingrown hairs, and so on.

Depending on the area of skin, you may want to be more or less gentle. So a face can be exfoliated with a face scrub and/or face brush. The bottom of your feet, use a pumice stone. And for areas you shave, having a washcloth or brush can do it, it can be tricky finding something that is comfortable, yet effective, and not too rough. I'm satisfied with this.

Many 'backward' societies thru time have recognized the value of having some among them blessed with two spirits. We evolved along with the others because we advanced the species. Once, we were looked to for leadership and healing. Our societies have found us useful as teachers, child sitters, marriage counselors, entertainers, among much else. It was our culture's loss to erase us. So maybe, with the destruction of our 'advanced' civilization, our world will return to a more sensible ethos of interdependence.

To learn more this book is a good start.

https://smile.amazon.com/Spirit-Flesh-Diversity-American-Culture/dp/0807046159/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2SR2X28OXYWF6&keywords=the+spirit+and+the+flesh+sexual+diversity+in+american+indian+culture&qid=1574786549&sprefix=the+spriit+and+the+flesh%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-1

I found laser did help, hormones should help more. I suggest a fascial brush to gently exfoliate before shaving. Don't over shave, if not everything is done in the first pass, use an electric shaver later. Also, this aftershave works well and doesn't smell strong or musky.

not sure if it'll help but I got these for my first swimsuit and they work great.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B7FFHXK/ref=cm_sw_r_fm_apa_i_EiIOCbCD7F5Y0?fbclid=IwAR37gMgCl99yNvoxrms_UXwlNBycq_22t1qRzshD1gIEIJAbJrgJQtg5Zgw

There is this book by Mira Bellwether called FTW I recommend. I know the title is a little vulgar but it has tons of useful information.

If you're able to get a soft tape measure you can take your own measurements.

To take your measurements you need to measure your bust at the fullest point, your natural waist, your hips, and your inseam.

Here is a wiki to help you find the right points.

I encountered this book a long time ago and it really moved me.

https://www.amazon.com/Spirit-Flesh-Diversity-American-Culture/dp/0807046159/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1503726578&sr=8-4&keywords=spirit+and+the+flesh