(Part 2) Best products from r/NoFap

I personally think that you should appreciate women's beauty, however I feel that catcalling would be unnecessary i didn't see any approach done "right", i actually feel that people, specially men should learn some social dynamics specially towards talking to the opposite sex, and by this i don't mean learn pick up and fuck as many girls as possible and shit like that, but because I feel that its important to be able to connect with women in a way. I feel that a lot of rapes, and sexual frustration, and probably prostitution is because men want an easy way out, and don't want to put in the work to approach women, and now you could even go online dating if you don't like it but i think that men become more aware of how to deal with this certain situation, I am working on myself to be able to approach a girl and give her a genuine compliment and to mean it because I say it and say it because I mean it, not to get attention that just because by catcalling people I 'prove im manly' they come off as needy and shit.

Although I feel that people, specially women, if you learned some pick up or rather some more sociability they see that as ungenuine and even more chumpy, but the counter argument i would say is they are not being genuine either, they use make up and they are manipulating their appearance to look more attractive and in a way is manipulating me to think better of them, I am against some of the principles of pick up but the dating science isn't wrong, but its on the right path. I personally think that, like in my case, if you know you suck with women, and you don't want to be in a path of crappiness and neediness, via using prostitution to get laid or roofing people to get laid or rather rape girls, or vast usage of porn, I would say that its good.

I personally would recommend reading Models by Mark Manson because the book is really fucking awesome and it would make you a better man, and perhaps reading the 'further reading' books from that book help you understand the mating system of humans, and to become a better man. I think the book itself is actually really good because it states more than just to get laid is to find quality women to be fullfillled and be more happier with women, and in a way is actually attacking the dating science in a way by attacking The Mystery Method which all pick up could be summed up by that single book. In a way I would recommend both and take the best from both because neither of them is 'wrong' but niether one of them is 'right'. I do agree with Manson's idea of confidence and working in yourself more than in women and being sexualy fulllfilled doesn't require large amounts of women, while I also agree with Mystery's focus on competence vs. confidence because he says that you can't quantify confidence and rather focus on number of approaches and really statistics because that shows competence and successful competence breeds confidence eventually but in a way Manson's idea is better, because he is coming from a place of abundance of women and general happiness, is like saying being 'good' with women is something you are and not do and your looks, money demographics and ect does matter in the equation, over mystery's idea which is coming from neediness, because he refers as girls having 'high value' and by that you are infering that you aren't enough for her so you have to in a way manipulate yourself into making her thinking you are 'good enough' so that it doesn't matter if you look like a fucking troll no matter what if your 'game' is 'tight' it doesn't matter what even if the girl is married or anything really, she will sleep with you and that isn't the case, because mysetery uses a lot of indirect and 'fool proof' tactics that are more convoluted than just expressing your intent and if it doesn't work out move on asap, I'd say that take the best they both are right, and both concepts are correct but im leaning more the natural no scripts type of things and just being freeforming it.
I'd recommend both people getting those two books and they will change your life or at least make you think better and be more aware of how to flirt better. And perhaps reading Double your Dating by David DeAngelo, this one focuses more on dating girls and setting up and getting exposure to women over, is focused on both competence and confidence, and in a more natural way. I'd say get them, you can torrent them if you are so cheap, but defenitely read up on them and see what comes out of it.

So defenitely get Models by mark manson and Mystery Method because you can get a really clear picture on the subject of picking up women, and Double your Dating by David D just the simple ebook don't dig too much into it.

other books, I heard of them, and read some reviews on amazon and they seem to have really good reviews but I haven't gotten them or read them but they seem legit too.

Bang by roosh V

Day bang by roosh v

The manual by W. Anton

the Natural by richard la ruina

Get inside her by Marni Kinrys

they all seem like good resources to start and move on from there... and work on specific sticking point, but i'd say don't believe everything use them as guidelines and not as rules, and take them with a pinch of salt. the reason for this was because when I read the Mystery Method, it was well argued and every contingency is planned for, that I couldn't really find fault with the method, And so I believed all the "high value" bullshit that i fucking felt that i needed to one up everybody and that isn't the case, i was able to rescue myself from that mindset by Models, and I really thought it was genuine and it doesn't rely on too much bullshit and is more natural there is no one upping bullshit. I am not preching seduction community but i feel men should know what they are doing, specially if they suck like me, and be just more aware of things.

Perhaps i'd also reccomend
Gifts of Imperfection by Breene Brown since this book really digs somewhat on the self acceptance/self worth/self esteem part and what pick up artist would call 'inner game' ...
I'd say pick whatever books you want to BUT STOP reading too much into it, i became too paranoid and wanted to read every book on pick up out there and that is not the case guys, hope i helped.

TLDR--read books, become aware, know better, don't be a creep but don't be chump either, get informed guys know your shit,

> They know nothing of me, and I wish to keep things that way.

Well, that means you have a lot of privacy, use it!

Watch this you should take the time, then try to power-pose around 20 min a day, isn't much but it will change your thoughts (of course I don't mean 20 min straight, more like 2 min 10 times a day)

> I don't exactly do much [...]

read this it's great and free, and easily readable in a weekend. It's basically about how to actually do something, could also help with your "binge eating".

> I was clearly no good at it, so I gave up trying.

This is exactly the reason why you aren't good at anything.

Nobody is good at something at the first try, you have to work hard in order to get good at something. Pick something you like (and, in best case something that would also make a good job, but more importantly something you like), and then get really good at it, persistence is the key here.

> there are [...] things I can do comfortably on my own - [...] going to the local shop.

Well, if you buy something you surely have to speak (or, at the very least, somehow interact) with another human being. Smile. Try to smile to as much people as you can, and when there are no people seeing you, smile all the time (best case scenario: you smile all the time regardless of people seeing you)

> I always gave up on everything when the first try failed.

As I said earlier, persistence is the key. If you have some time, try to read the law of success by Napoleon Hill, available here as ebook, and here as audiobook (around 24 hours)

To your last paragraph, again, persistence is the key. If you are willing to spend some money, buy the book Mini Habits it basically teaches persistence through a rather unusual approach.

In case you can't click on the links, I'll list them here again:

Power-Pose : http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are

getting to do things : http://www.google.de/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=breaking%20out%20of%20homeostasis%20pdf&source=web&cd=3&ved=0CDAQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smashwords.com%2Fbooks%2Fdownload%2F362266%2F1%2Flatest%2F0%2F0%2Fbreaking-out-of-homeostasis-the-not-so-magic-pill-of-self-development.pdf&ei=Y2pzVO0Gx7w99ceBmAg&usg=AFQjCNF6-sqqzjEqmxF4whWsf7fWJotA9A&bvm=bv.80185997,d.ZWU&cad=rja

Law of success ebook : https://archive.org/details/Law_Of_Success_in_16_Lessons

Law of Success audiobook : http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUeRmc_VnIdefMXiYZAi-Bhztsm20fhrT

Mini Habits : http://www.amazon.com/Mini-Habits-Smaller-Bigger-Results-ebook/dp/B00HGKNBDK

I found Jordan Peterson's future authoring program helpful. It's nothing too complicated. It just helps you make a vision for what you want your future to be like and set about 8 specific goals for the next few years. It's $15 to use online which I think is a little more than its worth, but overall I think it's worth it. It will probably take about a few weeks to complete, but I think it's time well spent.

https://www.selfauthoring.com/future-authoring.html

Jordan Peterson is a psychologist that posts a lot of lectures and interviews on youtube. A lot of No Fappers find his perspective helpful. Here's his channels if you're interested.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCodkb-qBktJI5NrUsPYpf7g

https://www.youtube.com/user/JordanPetersonVideos

Learning Acceptance and Commitment Therapy was helpful for me too. There are lots of therapists that use this method, but the book I read was, "The Happiness Trap" by Dr. Russ Harris.

https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841

It's a pretty simplified approach, that teaches you the thinking patterns and habits that allow you to live more in the present and future oriented towards action in the direction of your values, rather than stuck in habits of escapism and avoidance whenever you feel uncomfortable from things like boredom and loneliness.

I also think is very helpful to set habits that put your daily life into a healthy rhythm and balance. Simple things like waking up early and going on a walk in the sunrise can make a big difference. Circadian rhythm plays a huge role in balancing hormone and neurotransmitters, so the more time you can spend outside in the brightness of the day the better especially in the morning.

Making sure you have regular positive social activity is extremely important for satisfying the brain's need for oxytocin. If you don't get it through healthy social experiences, the brain can sometimes come up with some dysfunctional ways of obtaining oxytocin release like preoccupation with porn and fantasy. So whatever you can do to make your life social. Do it. It's really not optional for humans.

I'm glad you feel helped. Some more quick thoughts -- focus on the improvement but don't forget to continue to continue to improve and refine your practices. The ability to focus your thoughts and change your patterns is a skill, like any other. Don't expect to be great at focusing your thoughts on your progress right away, but with sustained & deliberate effort you can change yourself for the better. Just as you HAD a habit of PMOing you have a habit of negative thinking. You can change it. I found The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (Amazon) (YouTube) to be extremely helpful here.

​

Also, the idea is not that you write a million contingency plans for PMO but that you make sure you have alternatives that are easy to remember, easy to do, easy to see the inherent value of, and easy to enjoy. Then you've really primed yourself every day for success.

The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing To Our Brains

I think NoFap is really just a niche part of a bigger drive to get away from the internet (or at least use it differently), and I completely agree with all of it. The internet (if used without taking precautions) and porn both change the physical structures of our brains in ways that preclude having a fulfilling life with longterm satisfaction. Fortunately our brains are very plastic and it's not too late to fix them.

I've tried quitting the internet cold turkey, and it's haaaaaard. The problem is that it's a global addiction that's deeply intertwined with our social and work lives. You can't really get away from it without totally alienating yourself, so quitting all of the internet is not viable. It's very difficult to draw the line between useful or necessary internet usage and bad internet usage, so moderating your own internet usage can be tough.

Here's my attempt at drawing that line, though:

• If you're using the internet for data acquisition or communication, you're using it right.
  
• If you're using the internet for education or entertainment, you're using it wrong.
  
  Obviously education and entertainment are important, but the internet is just not the place to do it. With respect to education, the internet will promote distractedness and a habit of multitasking, and ultimately your learning will suffer (the book I mentioned focuses on this). If you want to learn, try to use the internet to find books, and then use those books to learn (or take a class, etc).
  
  There are, of course, certain things you can learn only through the internet. Tutorials, for example, are online, as is the vast majority of modern journalism. You need to be careful with either of these. When it comes to reading the news, I like to use my tablet and the Pulse application, and I'm only subscribed to longer-form journalism like the type you'd see in The Atlantic. When it comes to tutorials, do whatever you can to not open additional browser tabs. In either case, you should at the very least read these things like you would read a book. Don't allow yourself to get distracted by hyperlinks, and if some topic confuses you, usually it's okay to just ignore it (or mark it) and press on, rather than try to immediately learn about this other topic through outside sources.
  
  As for entertainment, that's something you can do in real life with real people (or again, with more reading, which is always healthy). Entertainment online is a process of overstimulation and isolation. Porn falls into this, but so do videogames and even mindlessly clicking pictures on reddit. In general, if you get on the internet without a clear purpose, you will probably be using it for entertainment, so always try to tell yourself why you're getting online before you do it.
  
  The first good use for the internet is data acquisition, by which I mean it's a good place to go to find a fact or set of facts. For example, if you want to go see a movie it makes perfect sense to get on the internet and look up movie times. In these situations, you'll get online, find the information you want, and then quit.
  
  Communication is a bit iffier, and maybe it should come with its own set of restrictions. Email and social networking are great, insofar as we don't use them for entertainment. I don't really suffer from this problem, but when I get on facebook it becomes pretty clear that many people are sort of addicted to self-posts and being heard. This might be absolutely fine for all I know (you could liken it to journaling), so for now I'm going to just assume that social networking, love or hate, is something we're going to have to live with if we want to partake in the 21st century.
  
  This might warrant its own post, since I've got quite a bit to say on it (I've kept most of it inside my head, so it might be totally rubbish for anyone else as far as I know).
  
  

>I'm expecting this to be ignored, because people DON'T want to hear this. But I'm hoping, deep down, that this issue will be addressed, because this problem is VERY REAL, and it's happening to me RIGHT NOW.

C'mon dude, I think you gotta accredit more to this sub :P

There is all sorts of inconvenient information upvoted on this subreddit that people don't wanna hear deep down. How about the very fact that we are all PMO addicts? That's a pretty unpleasant truth if you ask me.

But regarding your very problem:

Look, sometimes it's perfectly fine to not feel any motivation to do anything. If you say you are a few days in, what do you think it is you are experiencing right now? It might be very well the flatline. The first indicator that you are distancing yourself from hypercharged material that corrupts your reward system. Sex/Porn spike your dopamine the most from any activity out there. Once you abstain long enough, you will find new hidden pleasure and motivation behind the seemingly mundane and tedious tasks. You will find new passion for life, you can be DEAD SURE about that!! Just keep moving forward.

It is very commendable if you still manage to pick yourself up and push through, but it is important to not beat yourself up too much. When you are trying to build a new life, you should not pick up too many new goals and habits. Because at first you will rely on nothing more other than willpower until you have repeated those actions often enough to build a new habit. It is only then that it does not require any more thought and effort. The thing is that willpower is a limited resource; a well that runs dry at a certain point of continuously forcing yourself to get stuff done.

You feel like crap? Then rest and take a nap or something. Do something relaxing for a limited amount of time. Incorporate a conscious break within your daily routine in which you allow yourself to absolutely nothing for a change. Now that does not include or mean that you should cultivate other easily identifiable dopamine addictions like surfing the net for countless hours, using websites with endless scrolling and novelty mechanisms or video games. Forbid yourself to use the computer in those times if you must and just lay on your bed like a corpse. Use the time to think and to reflect, not to fantasize about a better or easier life.

>.. but I still feel very inefficient - in complete contrast to my usual self.

Instead of beating yourself up and comparing yourself ( even if it is your own self you compare yourself against ), take the positive view point (there is always one, no matter what). Instead of saying your are inefficient in contrast to your former self see it like this: You are back, somewhere at the start of the journey and you are forcing yourself to make the best out of it. Tell yourself: You are currently doing the best you can. You are working to the best of your own capabilities in the PRESENT TIME. Forget about past and future, because all that counts is the present moment and your current self.

You wanna hear an anecdote from my own life? When I first started out this self-improvement journey back in 2015 I was doing nothing more in my life other than: waking up - wasting some time - hitting the gym - wasting some more time and going to bed. Rinse and repeat. I felt so DEAD, as you put it yourself, once I got back home from the gym. It was that period at the start of my new habit that required an immense amount of willpower and pushing myself to get going. I remember this one image very vividly lying on my bed, trying to read a couple of pages in my new e-book, I barely managed to read something between five to ten pages, because I was just not used to reading regularly. Sounds very unspectacular on paper and summed up like that, of course there were more thing going on surrounding that, but the very core was that. I had that one goal I set for myself and I went after it with no excuses, nothing fancy.

Looking back I would not say that any minute of that year was wasted, even though I had so little going on for myself. A precious year of the prime of my youth in my early 20s. Who cares? I don't regret it one bit, because I know that even though I took very small steps, I lay the foundation for something greater. Sacrificing a year for it it close to nothing.

But YOU!!! Who are YOU trying to impress? Who is the judge of you? It is about time to realize that there is NONE! You mustn't, you must NOT compare yourself to anybody or anything other than your present self. Ask yourself genuinely: Can I do better than this? Or am I scratching the borders of everything that possible. Give yourself a break sometime.

I often like to imagine that I am under IMMENSE time pressure. Sometimes, I feel like the world is going to end in a couple of days, and its very existence depends on me getting work done within an abstract, inconceivable and unknown timeframe. I fear not only that but also about my fading youth and death. Maybe some of these thoughts occurred to you as well!

Those fears and thoughts are just as much nonsensical. Dude, you got your whole life ahead of you. If make sure of ONE thing, then make sure that you go one small step in the right direction, no matter what. This entire essay is in no way an easy excuse for someone to postpone his duties until the day after tomorrow. Neither do I try to say that you can go on happily fapping because you still got every opportunity to start over another time. NO!! Every relapse equals to three steps in the opposite, and thus wrong direction of your life goals. Keep that in mind.

Thank you for the compliments :).

The best way, I've found, to be assertive is to figure out your values in life. What do you value? What's important to you? From there you can figure out what you will and won't accept. Big picture to small details. From there on you can be assured that you can give people what they want whilst getting what you want in return. A win-win!

For example; one of my values is, and the most important one too, is that my self development and growth are top. It will always come first. The next step, the boundary step, then was what behaviour will I not tolerate from others. Here they are:

• You must support my growth as a person, objections are fine, support is mandatory.
  
• Do not attempt to change me into something/someone I do not want to be. And,
  
• I refuse to try/do/believe things that will not enhance my development/quality of life or has beneficial outcomes over time.
  
  From there it's a matter of learning proper assertion skills. I highly recommend People Skills by Robert Bolton. This is helped me immeasurably. Check it out! --> People Skills.
  
  I hope this helps you figure out your boundaries.

I used to struggle with masturbating in the middle of the night when I was half asleep. I started taking melatonin (a higher dose than what is currently sold in pharmacies, and an effective formulation with no additives that can counteract the active ingredient-- I use and love this brand, which will appear expensive, but that bottle will last you for the next six months), and now have gone on 56 and 22 day streaks since.


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Both times I have broken the positive trend, I hadn't gone to the bathroom in the previous 18 hours, and so I think constipation puts pressure on the prostate, which then releases the pressure by a wet dream or half asleep MO.

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To be less constipated, I'd recommend eating much smaller portions of meat and processed foods, and much higher proportions of raw fruits and vegetables. I'd also recommend trying to eat early in the evening. It'll benefit all aspects of your health, too. I agree with /u/luluon that avoiding water in the hours before bed (give at least 3.5 hours) is a good idea. Make sure you are hydrated by drinking a lot of water throughout the day-- I start my days with two 16 oz glasses of fresh lemon water (1/2 lemon in each), and then 16 oz of fresh, pure celery juice (which will benefit your digestion among other things as well-- happy to answer any questions you may have about it).


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As for your SO, can you just keep an extra pair of underwear in the bathroom and then go change? How would your SO know it wasn't just that you had to go to the bathroom?

As far as the meditation goes, I can't recommend a 10 day course enough. I know it probably sounds insane, or cult-ish, or too difficult, but it's very worth it IMO.

As for the acupressure mat, here's the one that I use: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00I1QCPIK/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1 . Works very well for me. A friend of mine recommended it. The sensation of the needles (i.e. pain) causes your brain to release endorphins, which make you feel better physically and emotionally.

I found those specific supplements by reading The Mood Cure by Julia Ross, a very good read. It discusses how most emotional problems are caused by simple deficiencies in neurotransmitters, usually caused by our diets.

Stay strong and have faith that you can make things better over time :) that's what I try to do.

Fantastic post. Your concept of “gas” has actually been written about in great detail by one of my all time favorite books.

https://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Rediscovering-Greatest-Human-Strength/dp/0143122231

The premise is that “willpower” is a muscle that can be strengthened and also depleted by “life”

You only have so much willpower each day. Eating certain foods can replenish willpower, sort of like refueling a gas tank.

Concepts such as “autopilot” are discussed in great detail.

A main point that I particularly related to was how to utilize willpower efficiently. This is done by using willpower to break bad habits and using it to form new ones. Crafting this habits until they feel natural.

AKA replacing pornography with healthy activities such as basketball.

A highly recommend this book to everyone here who is straining their willpower by pursuing no fap. If anyone has read it, please chime in with some of your favorite parts of the book.

Good luck boys!

I feel like this should be considered normal for a heterosexual male. Tight leggings naturally draw your eyes to them. I recommend not to surpress the attraction but instead to let it flow over you, without letting it consume you. Just observe it and be thankful for the extra feeling of energy that it gives you. Maybe think about what attracts you to your gf, I suspect it is more than just her body.
In general, I have come to be thankful of the energy that emerges from attraction to the female. For me, the book Way of the Superior Man helped a lot here.

Hi there <3

I'm sure you read my story, and I must say that I can really relate to a good portion of what you're experiencing. It's an extremely dividing feeling inside yourself, trying to be a support for your loved one while also feeling destroyed inside... trying to set aside all your newly onset insecurities and doubts about yourself, in an attempt to be sexually appealing and appeasing to what he might want. But it all leads down a scary path and I think you described it really well with all your worries about how you look, speak, perform, how intellectual you are, how fun... I completely have felt all of this.


It is really worrisome how the content that he's looking at is worsening. I am no professional, but I'll give advice that my husband and I have done that has helped a lot.

1. First thing he did was install a content blocker. We went with NetNanny. Version 7 didn't work so well and I was about to scrap it, but they brought out version 10 and it works much much better. https://www.netnanny.com/
   This blocks all porn stuff, along with any other categories you choose, and will send immediate updates about what websites are being accessed to whoever the accountability partner is. Which brings me to point number 2.
   
2. After going through this in silence for almost 3.5 years, we finally reached out to a good friend of my husband's, who is a MALE. Very important. We let him know what we were going through, and since then he's been working with my husband as his accountability partner. For a couple of months, I still had access to all of the reports and such, and even though the degree of slip ups went down substantially with NetNanny (from PMO to the odd bikini picture), my reactions were getting more and more intense. I was angrier than ever, more devastated than ever even with minor slip ups, and I just continued to deteriorate in a way that no longer even correlated with how nasty the content was. Eventually, I unloaded full responsibility onto this friend of his. I have no access anymore to his NetNanny reports, I don't check his browser history, nothing. (This took a lot of steps for me to relinquish control as well). However, I am still in the loop and involved in his recovery process. We have biweekly updates about how's gone (any slip ups, and sometimes what degree) and then the other biweeks is a discussion where I give an update on how I've been doing, he does the same, and the friend does as well. We all have a group chat, and my husband reports to the friend nightly on how that day has gone, and the friend will message me only with any major concerns or any questions about the program function. The friend is primarily there for him, and the friend and I maintain a modest boundary between us. He will advise me when he's noticed my actions affecting my husband's state and vulnerability, and informs me on the process.
   
3. This book helped wonders. It's written from a Christian perspective, which isn't the faith that I follow, but it's very helpful principles nonetheless and I just interpret it to my understanding of God. https://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Vows-Healing-Sexually-Betrayed/dp/0310273943/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=shattered+vows&qid=1571874595&sr=8-1
   
   The main point here is: his recovery has to be his. Ultimately, it is HIS problem, and he has to be willing to change. If he isn't, then you can't do anything at all and it will consume you and waste your time. If he is, and if you're willing to stick that out with him through all of this, then that's incredible. It will be exhausting, breaking up will cross your mind (divorce has played on my mind throughout the days during the worst of it), and it will have consequences on you. Right now, I've taken a big step back and am doing a lot of work on myself, on healing, on allowing myself to be angry and experience the grief. But thankfully, literally over the last 3 weeks we've been doing immensely better each week than a month ago.
   
   
   Set up software, get a male accountability partner for him, and get yourself counselling and/or a female who you trust and can confide in, who understands that you want to work on the relationship and will help you on your end and not just bash him. You need someone too.
   
   I hope that helps a bit. May you find peace.

We're under no obligation to be the same person we were yesterday"

---

Hello, traveller!

I've read Models by Mark Manson, but haven't gotten to "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" yet.

During my journey here, I read 2 additional books that may be good for you since they stemmed from some of those teachings


No more mr. Nice guy (Glover)

The road less traveled (Peck).


I was also having issues with an obstacle but reading your post made me realise what i have overlooked and may be beneficial in aiding me in my own journey as well.

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it.

Focus on improving yourself and the girls will seem easy. I recommend the book Mate: Become the Man Women Want. If you commit yourself to nofap and implementing even 70% of what's in that book, I bet you'll be more attractive than 90% of the guys in your school.

You're so young dude, I'm glad you're here. I really wish I started this self-improvement journey that I'm on when I was your age. I'm 21

I am a 20 year old guy and I find myself in a similiar situation. I've always been anxious with women and find it hard to keep my cool. I just began reading a book though, and from reading the first few chapters alone, I view the world in a completely different perspective and my anxiety has actually improved. At work last week I applied some of the principles the book taught me, and I was so surprised at how effective they were. Next thing I know, I have a 22 year old girl flirting with me, complimenting my physique and asking if I'm single etc. It was surreal.

I urge you, read this book - https://www.amazon.com/Manual-What-Women-Want-Give/dp/1456494554 - it's not a PUA book of any sorts. Read all of the discussion on Amazon, it's pretty good and insightful. I promise, this'll at least get you closer to your goal.

It's difficult because it's an environmental cue that has become strongly reinforced over time, but which you can't avoid. I would recommend going to sleep early (in bed by 10pm), setting an alarm, and getting up as soon as you wake up in the morning. Do this for a while, and you will decondition the association to the point of extinction.

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Anything that helps you sleep more deeply and wake up feeling more rested and clear and less groggy will help. I'd avoid blue light from electronics and lights in the hour before bed, take melatonin (that will seem expensive, but it's the best brand and will last you for half a year. also, don't be afraid of taking 20mg even though most doses are 3 to 5mg-- you don't become dependent on it and those lower doses aren't effective. I take 40 mg sometimes), meditate before bed (headspace has a good guided meditation to help you fall asleep), don't drink water in the hours before bed, and don't go back to sleep once you wake up in the morning after a decent amount of sleep (this will make you oversleep and become groggy).

>reorient sexuality to focus on a more sensational sex approach (read trantric sex for men)

>Practicing breathing techniques to help trigger full-body sexual energy circulation (read parts of the multi-orgasmic man)

Y'know, I feel like my arousal process has been changing/has changed and I don't understand it anymore. I really resonate with your post(s) and you have captured my attention. Could you give me links to these books/posts? I tried looking on Amazon, but I wasn't sure which one you'd recommend. Thanks! I'd appreciate it



EDIT: Are these the books?

Tantric Secrets

Multi-Orgasmic Man

Everyone falls somewhere on the Introvert to Extrovert scale (To very broadly summarize, introverted tends to mean you enjoy quieter things, less excitement, smaller social groups, etc. and extroverted tends to mean the opposite). You might be more naturally towards the introverted side.

There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that. You just like different things, and feel energized from different activities. I tend to be more on the introverted side too, and I found a lot of comfort in a book I read recently: https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153

Interesting note about not tying NoFap to other self improvement goals. I've found the same thing. You fail at one, you figure, "What the hell", and let yourself slide in the others. But... the opposite can also be true. You succeed at one, and you reward yourself with some slack in the others, and the slide starts. Your brain will seek ANY rationalization to give in. Kelly McGonnigal talks about both kinds of relapse in THE WILLPOWER INSTINCT. Good book.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Matters/dp/1583335080

Great post! But as an introvert, I'm going to have to take issue with you saying "so called 'introvert'."
Introversion is an aspect of human personality that is recognized by science. When you use the phrase "so called' it implies that you are suggesting that there is no such thing as an introvert. Because we live in a society that worships the extrovert and holds extroverts up as the ideal, I feel that I need to defend the introvert. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. It is not a character flaw.
Your point is correct, though. Introverts still need social interaction. I loved your post and I"m probably nit-picking here, but I just wanted to point out this part on introverts. There is a great book on introverts called Quiet by Susan Cain: https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479132222&sr=8-1&keywords=quiet
Info on introverts: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-real-science-of-introversion-and-the-rest-of-personality/

I'm navigating the same territory as you. All I can say is stay strong. Don't give up. you'll only regret it.

I wish I could be of more help than just kind words.
Consider reading up on habit and addiction:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/081298160X
something like this or similar could help you understand your brain.

Check this out man. I think it will help you put yourself in a position to succeed. You don't have to be an invincible superhero with perfect willpower. Put yourself in a position to succeed and that tank will become something a lot less intimidating. And then you can do what you need to do. In concrete terms, my invitation is to study nutrition, and make sure you are eating as well as you can in this difficult time.
In my limited experience though, this book is awesome. It's a long read, but incredibly fascinating and elucidating. Alternatively you could check out Mark Hyman's (the author) videos on Youtube. You asked for a weapon, and this is a weapon. Not motivation or sympathy. I think it can help you out
http://www.amazon.com/The-UltraMind-Solution-Broken-Healing/dp/0743570480.
I know the subtitle says ('the way to beat depression, anxiety, etc.). I think that's misleading. Everyone needs to know this stuff, and it can help everyone. Even if you don't identify with those labels

You summarised it pretty well. It's about making love for a long time rather than racing for the orgasm. I learned about it from Cupid's Poisoned Arrow though I haven't had the chance to try it yet. But you can. Another resource on non-ejaculatory sex is The Multi Orgasmic Man. Karezza is more about going slow enough so that you don't come, the other one is about becoming more in control of your ejaculation, so that you don't come. Karezza doesn't pursue orgasm at all, the other pursues a non-ejaculatory kind of orgasm. I think they complement each other well.

So I read this book Willpower, which I think is a pretty neat book. One of the chapters is about David Blaine and how he trains for his endurance acts (seemingly godlike displays of willpower).

However anecdotal (n=1), the book elucidates that when he is training for his next endurance feat Blaine will be very focused not just on the endurance act itself, but in all aspects of his life. He is more apt to working out hard, eating healthier, etc.

Personally this is my longest nofap streak that I attribute to focus in all aspects of my life. Lifting heavy, eating proper, studying hard in school, partying hard on the weekends (just being social, not necessarily getting bombed). Where the shower comes in is that I think it is just another involvement of an act that requires a degree of discipline. It's kind of like a 'healthy diet' for ones skin. Self denial.

Anyhow I'm done rambling keep it up guize.

Did you know Amazon will donate a portion of every purchase if you shop by going to smile.amazon.com instead? Over $50,000,000 has been raised for charity - all you need to do is change the URL!

Here are your smile-ified links:

https://smile.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841

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What? You think the point of sex is ejaculation?! That's crazy, I suggest you look into seminal retention, there are some great books explaining it. Here's a start:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Way-Superior-Man-David-Deida/dp/1591792576/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377202194&sr=8-1&keywords=the+way+of+the+superior+man

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Taoist-Secrets-Love-Cultivating-Sexual/dp/0943358191/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377202236&sr=8-1&keywords=cultivation+of+male+sexual+energy

Seriously, this shit is powerful. Sex becomes so much better in every way (pleasure, intimacy, duration) once you learn to harness and control your sexual energy. Ejaculation for any other purpose than reproduction is a waste.

I would do your research on getting hormone replacement therapy, many doctors are very quick to follow protocol that has been designed by major drug companies so a lot of them are quick to push quick fixes like this as well as other medications.

3 Common factors of low testosterone in males from a natural standpoint are:

1. High Sugar/Carbohydrate Diet
   
2. Low Amount of Exercise
   
3. Lack of optimal amounts of nutrients/minerals/enzymes/macro nutrients
   
   Start taking baby steps to cut out any refined sugars from your diet. From there, try to get most of your carbohydrates from vegetables and eventually even limit things like fruit. This also means cutting back drastically on alcohol (like a couple times a month have a couple drinks)
   
   Go for short duration but intense exercise.
   
   Give your diet a complete makeover, taking baby steps to get there.
   
   Dr. Mark Hyman "The UltraMind Solution"
   http://www.amazon.com/The-UltraMind-Solution-Broken-Healing/dp/0743570480
   
   Stephen Harrod Buhner "The Testosterone Plan"
   http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Testosterone-Plan-Sexual-Health/dp/1594771685/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410570863&sr=1-2&keywords=the+testosterone+plan
   
   Read this too:
   http://www.dynamicchiropractic.com/mpacms/dc/article.php?id=56899
   

The research is there. You can:

• Watch the Ted Talk
  
• See how excessive masturbation destroys willpower
  
• Read about how the way we surf the internet/porn literally changes our brain's structure.
  
• Research how excessive masturbation contributes to adrenal fatigue
  
  And many other benefits. I'm sure if you google around you'll find the relevant research. Not having it shoved in your face by advertisements or school like smoking was doesn't mean you can ignore what's out there.
  
  Saying it's bad makes us look like a cult? I think it would be worse if we DIDN'T have this research but everyone was around chanting the praise of not fapping.

http://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576

fantastic book.

I'd strongly recommend a book called "The UltraMind solutions" to you.

All in all, eat organic if you can afford it, lots of greens, vegetables. Nothing processed. Whole foods etc

I would also recommend these two books. They are both great in that neither one is a 'self-help' book but rather the most up to date science about (resisting) addictive behaviors.

http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Rediscovering-Greatest-Human-Strength/dp/0143122231/ - Willpower is like a gas tank. A lot of the 'side effect' reboot stories you get here are explained by this book.

http://www.amazon.com/End-Overeating-Insatiable-American-Appetite/dp/1605294578/ - I read this one twice while I lost 60 pounds. Most of the things said about food and methods to avoid breaking from one's diet apply equally well to nofap.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Habit-What-Business/dp/081298160X
This book helped me immensely, Habits come in a sequence. Your habit may be C, what you do before it is A and B. A and B will lead to C. so find out what A and B is and don't do that thing!! its much easier than cutting out C! Read, workout, buy a step-moniter and try to get 20,000 steps a day. (you will be busy)

Been reading a book right now that talks about all of this - you guys should check it out (because we should all ALWAYS be reading something during our transformation :) )

https://www.amazon.com/Shallows-What-Internet-Doing-Brains/dp/0393339750

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris (http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Living/dp/1590305841)

https://www.amazon.com/Multi-Orgasmic-Man-Sexual-Secrets-Should-ebook/dp/B000FC12XM/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1466795332&sr=8-4&keywords=multi+orgasmic+man

here orgasm all u want

OP, did you mean The Willpower Instinct?

This book helped me understand woman more.

Read this. When I used to do NoFap, I would open pornhub and not even touch my dick just to test my willpower. Afterwards I could go to the gym because I had so much sexual energy that was pent up.